Akatsuki Corporation
by BlueBeauty99
Summary: What if one day when you're bored and make a sarcastic comment. And now the Akatsuki are here! Join the adventure of Max, Ana, and Linda as they have to deal with the infamous Akatsuki Organization, filled with intensity (probably not)... AND THE NEW FOUND OBSESSION FOR HOT CHOCOLATE!
1. Watch Your Tongue

**Authors Note: Hey! I see you clicked on my story...thank you. Before we get started I just wanted to warn you people of some minor things. 1) There is cursing, I know some people don't like that or like to be warned. But if you do like cursing, I like you. 2) This is my first fanfiction that's published, I've written some private ones before. So go a little easy on me I'm still trying to get use to this. 3) I got this idea/plot from a dream a friend of mine had, just warning you.**

 **PS** **. The beginning chapters have been update to a _much_ better quality. Some chapters have been completely been updated, while others still need tending, but please, enjoy yourself. **

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **With that Said... I officially say... Enjoy The Story, Lets Go!**

* * *

 **Ana**

 _Cereal... the great food that's simple, but provides you with such pleasure_.

Lets not jump ahead, I'm not that deep and poetic. Max was the one who said it. Then proceeded to yell "fucking hell" after a cop car crashed into her. She was playing Grand Theft Auto, and decided to play bumper cars with the cops. I know, she's psycho like that.

Max is one of my close friends who visits me. Her mom and my mom get along very well. Max has long wavy black hair and hazel eyes that change colors depending on the circumstance. She has a tendency of inviting herself in my house for some cereal and play time on the Xbox. Even though she has one.

I sighed and took a seat on the couch grabbing my tablet to read.

"You're always reading those stupid stories" Linda (my younger sister) complained. She was wrapped in a blanket holding that stupid stuffed pig of hers.

Linda. What can I say, she's a younger sister who just so happened to be mine (not a good thing). Long straight black hair and a height that makes it easy for me to pick on...shorty.

"Shut Up! No they're not!" I defended. Linda rolled her eyes and went back to watching Max kill the 15th hooker in under a minute.

Then there's me. Ana-the tallest one in the group with short black hair. I know we all have black hair, how unoriginal. I'm pretty much the middle kid in our little group. I'll be honest, Akatsuki fanfiction is my life right now. I mean there just isn't any more good books these days. Naruto is my show life. It's very... "educational." Makes you cry.

"Ugh, I'm bored... wish the Akatsuki were here. Then (perverted smirk) things would get fun" Max smiled creepily. Did I mention she's perverted?

"Don't say that!" I snapped. Max shook her head in disappointment to me.

"You read too much fanfiction" Linda said annoyed.

"Mmmh" Max sassed me, "oh no! The Akatsuki are here!"

I just rolled my eyes and choose to ignore them. Max shot up from her seat.

"Well" she yelled, "I'm gonna go take a piss" She said walking down the hall.

I turned my attention over to Linda. "C'mon you have to go clean your room" I ordered.

"I don't want to!" She wined.

I felt my eye twitch. I swear I'm the only one doing stuff around here. Ana clean this, Ana clean that, Ana do the damn dishes! But I am not going to clean Linda's room.

Linda reluctantly got up and headed up the stairs with me.

* * *

 **Max**

Let's play a game called get to know Max. I hate the Universe, kinda. It started when I got up to use the bathroom. I walked into the bathroom to do my business. As I sat there I stared my clothes. I was wearing wool grey high calf socks, black shorts, with a plum purple shirt, and a grey cardigan. I was drying my hands on a towel when the whole house shook. A chill of panic shivered down my back.

"Max did you fall again?" Ana yelled through the walls, I faintly heard Linda's laugh up the floor.

"Hey shut up!" I opened the door and stepped out. "First that was once and I slipped on a..." my voice trailed off as I stared at what seemed to be the cause of the house shaking.

I sensed and heard Ana and Linda slowly walk down the steps. I got a little closer, using the wall as a shield. Which was really stupid because I was still some what in the open. So, safety precautions? As the group of people got up the first one to stare at me was Itachi.

Hey! I may be a _HUGE_ perverted fangirl. But I'm not retarded to go running into his arms or doing some stupid shit like that. For those of you who read you know exactly what I'm talking about. That's when Pein and the rest of the members stared at me.

I turned back to Ana and Linda. "Just stay behind me, I'll do the talking" I whispered.

I made myself close to the wall and to them as possible. The Akatsuki...were in the house... in our world. Remember when I said kinda? This is where that comes into play. I mean it's the FREAKING Akatsuki! Which is also bad.

"Speak" Pein ordered.

"I'll do the talking" I muttered, barely audible.

"Where are we?" Pein began interrogating me.

"This is their house" I pointed to the sisters.

"What country?"

"U.S.A."

"What does it stand for?"

"United States of America."

"..."

"..."

"What element country?"

"Um, we don't have that, it doesn't exist..." I trailed off realizing my mistake.

"..."

"..."

"You're lying" Pein snapped.

"What no...Hey you can put those away!" I said frantically.

Kisame had Samehada ready, Itachi activated his sharingan, Pein raised his hand, and Konan raised some paper up.

"Now hold on!" I panicked.

"Tell us how you know about the element countries... and where we are. Your life depends on your answer, so choose wisely" Pein threatened, his voice dark and cold sending shivers through me. So cool!

"I can show you on the tv" I said in a small voice. Slowly, I walked over to the t.v and went to recordings.

I know what you're thinking, what I'm doing now is stupid. And yes I agree with you, this is stupid. But they're bound to know, might as well get it over with. And it'll make things easier...I hope.

After explaining for what felt like an hour, I stood still. It was really awkward. The silence was eating me up. Soon Pein took some steps towards me. I closed my eyes and braced myself to what would come.

"I'm not going to hurt you" Pein reassured, I loosened up a bit. "But what shall we do with the three?" He addressed the Akatsuki.

"We could kill them!"

"Bomb them!"

"Puppetry?"

"Torment?"

Ana raised her hand.

"What?" Pein asked her.

"Uh why don't we live, and show you around..." she muttered.

"So you can understand your surroundings, and not humiliate yourself" I added.

Pein thought for a moment, a very long moment. "All right" he said at last, "we can keep you, and kill the other two" he said referring to Ana and Linda.

"Wait" I said. They stopped and stared. Man I have nothing, I should have at _least_ consulted with my head. "She can cook, and the little one is fun to mentally torture" I blurted out.

Linda gave me what-the-fuck eyes. I mouthed a sorry.

"Alright" Pein sighed impatiently.

We all nodded and remained quiet. Well this is awkward.

"Um" I said trying to get everyone's attention.

"Yes..?" Konan led me on trying to get me to say my name.

"Oh...I'm Max" I said feeling a little embarrassed.

"Isn't that a boys name?" Deidara asked me.

"Yeah" I mumbled.

"I'm Ana" Ana raised her hand up, "and this is my younger sister Linda."

"Why don't you have a normal name like those two?"

My name is normal...just on a boy.

For a momment we stood in silence. This really is awkward.

"Well" I spoke getting the attention again. "There's too many people for this small house... so I thought I should take half to my house" I suggested, there were eight of them. So we could slpit it half and half. Thanks to not having Zetsu and Tobi.

"Will your parents let us?" Kisame asked me.

"They'll cooperate when their only daughter is in danger."

"That's fucked up" Hidan said. I just shrugged.

"Hey now that I'm thinking about it where is Zetsu and Tobi?" Deidara asked, the rest shrugged not knowing.

"Tobi?" Sasori frowned not understanding.

Deidara stared. "What, oh... no one" Deidara tried changing the subject, Sasori stood glaring at the blonde.

"Alright" I started "I'll take, Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, and Pein." Ana jumped up from the couch and grabbed me pulling me away from the Akatsuki to whisper.

"You can't have the tops!" she whispered loudly. She means the cool ones.

"Okay, Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, and Konan."

Ana continued glaring at me. "Why can't you take Kisame or Hidan?" Ana asked looking back over her shoulder to make sure they stilll couldn't listen.

"Fine! I'll take Kakuzu instead of Konan" I hissed.

"What are your reasons behind it?" Ana asked, raising an eyebrow.

Big Rule, if you are going to be my friend. Never underestimate my power of getting my way. "Well you'll be staying with the calmer ones. Pein can babyasit Hidan. While my group every one is babysitting someone. So it's not so hard your mom. Plus-" I lowered my voice more, "I have an insane puppeteer, a psycho bomber, a greedy old man, and you hate Itachi."

Ana stared at me for some time, she nodded. "I do dislike Itachi..."

I turned back to the group. I told them the groups and that we would be switching every week with the groups. They understood and went with it.

I'm a very selfish and evil type. If you havn't noticed. The only reason for choosing my group was because I'm not letting anyone else have my sexy trio of men, Itachi, Sasori, and Deidara. Kakuzu was there because, why not, he must know some card games to teach me. And I do love me some money. Cha-ching

"I'll right let's go" I called out making my way to the front door before anyone could figure out my plan. "Good luck!" I called to the girls. I was the last one out when Linda shot from her seat.

"Hey...wait" she yelled.

"Well Bye" I said shutting the door fast.

* * *

 **Linda**

I couldn't believe it. No not the Akatsuki coming, that's so thirty minuets ago. I mean Max! She took Itachi from me! You win this round. I continued glaring at Ana for getting rid of Itachi. She ignored me and started cleaning. Our mom would be home in ten minutes or even less than five.

The Akatsuki were sitting around watching tv (which I'm pretty sure exist in Naruto. I don't know I'm not a Naruto fan, only Max and Ana). Pein was in charge of the remote. The channels changing every two seconds before he got bored and left it on a soup opera...in Spanish. I hear they're really good.

The front door slowly opened. We all turned our attention to Ana as she approached the front door. A voice of an all too familiar woman spoke.

"Hey ma..." Ana uncomfortably greeted my mom.

"Hi, where's Linda? Actually what did she do..." her voice trailed off looking at the four anime characters. I don't blame her. Imagine coming home to see four strangers in your house.

It took 30 minutes in total for Ana to explain everything. Which is really short if you think about it. They were in the kitchen while I stayed in the living room. Pein was leaning against the wall that separated the two rooms, watching the explanation go on. I stared at him realizing that the Akatsuki still looked like anime characters. Pretty scarey and cool.

Pein looked over at me so I averted my eyes else where.

My mom sighed and looked over at the rest of us. "Ana, Linda you'll be sharing a room together, I don't care which room. You four can split the other girls room and the others can stay in the living room. Figure it out." My mommy went to her room to probably rest. And to think long and hard about what just happened.

Pein and Konan were going to share the room (we have an extra mattress, don't worry). Kisame and Hidan are staying on the couch for the rest of the week, after Pein threatened that if he would sleep on the couch he would do things that should not be repeated. And Konan of course was okay with whatever.

After Ana made dinner she had me get Hidan and Kisame blankets and pillows. I set them down and hurried up the stairs to Ana's room before they had a chance to talk to me. Panting-I walked into the bathroom that Ana and I shared and brushed my teeth. After doing that I got my pajamas from my room. Thank goodness Konan and Pein weren't there, and that I cleaned my room.

I tiptoed into Ana's room and changed out of my clothes and into my pajamas. I slipped into the covers and moved closed to the wall letting Ana get in. "Isn't this fun?"

"No. I hate sleeping with you, now do me a favor and shut up I want to sleep." Ana turned the lights off and turned her back to me.

"Fine!" I turned my back on her and closed my eyes. When it suddenly hit me. "MY STUFFED ANIMALS!"

* * *

 **Authors Note: Thank You for reading chapter 1 I really appreciate it. And review, tell me if I misspelled something or if there was a gramatic error. Or your opinions. Thank You and stay toon.**


	2. Chavez vs Akatsuki

**Author's Note: Thanks for staying and reading the second chapter, you make me happy. If you are not at the part were it shows Tobi's real identity like, the episodes late 300 and early 400 don't read this story. Or come back later. Or you just don't care about spoilers and whatever.**

 **Max: Hey there guys, you should review, because you have no idea how hard it is to do this. You learn the hard way. Plus the dumb author forgot to mention that later in the story, not now, there will be OOCness. It's to make the story interesting, but nothing too crazy.**

 **Well the good news is it's my perspective chapter so. I know you guys missed me. Don't fall in love. On to the story!**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Max**

I walked down the stairs of the porch.

"What was that all about?" Deidara asked me referring to the scene I just caused.

"Oh it's nothing" I wasn't ready for them to learn that I was a huge fangirl. And how I purposely choose the three based on my obsession.

As we walked through the back roads that separated my neighborhood and Ana's, I was silently praying that no one I knew or no one that recognized the Akatsuki would show up. The four members looked around feeling out of place.

"What are those?" Sasori asked feeling a little awkward.

"Uh, that's a car, made of metal, runs on gas. Only those with a license and permit can drive it." I said awkwardly, it's hard to explain technology like this to ninjas…

"Can you?" Itachi looked over at me. God why is he so gorgeous with that sexy voice?

"No, you have to be at least 16 to own a license and 14 to get a permit for your parents to teach you" I said keeping my calm.

"How old are you?" Kakuzu asked me.

"I turned 14 last month" They nodded and continued looking around.

We had finally made it to the gray colored house. "This is it" I gestured with my hands. I silently sighed and walked up the driveway. I was relived to see that no one was home.

I opened the screen door to open the other. I fished through my pockets for my keys. I opened the door and walked inside, moving to give room for the Akatsuki. I decided to give them a quick tour. They didn't move.

"This is the living room, that's the kitchen (it was an open space) down stairs is the laundry room and my brother's old room. Upstairs is my parents bedroom a bathroom, my room and my other brother's room." I pointed behind the dinning table at the sliding doors. "that's the deck and back yard."

I finished and offered them a seat. As they sat I tried to think of a plan. My brother is the first to come home (summer workout). My mom and dad are getting out of work around the same time. He's picking my mom up from work and then coming home.

"Is there anything to do?" Deidara's comment snapped me back to reality.

"Don't you have clay?" I asked. He rolled his eyes and unzipped his pouch. For a moment I stared at him until the door swung open.

"Fuck my back hurts" Diego groaned and stopped to stared.

I stared.

He stared.

The four Akatsuki members stared.

"Why don't you take a seat" I spoke up.

"No thanks" he nervously muttered.

I don't need to retell everything. So my brother is caught up.

"..."

"...''

"..."

"..."

"Well speak boy" Kakuzu impatiently snapped.

"Your wish your problem" My brother walked out and into the kitchen, probably for food.

"Wait… you wished us?" Sasori slowly spoke getting everyone to glare at me. I may have forgotten to mention that part.

"I wouldn't call it a wish, more like a sarcastic comment" I uncomfortably laughed.

They continued glaring at me. "So a wish?" Itachi pointed out.

I was about to corrected Itachi when I heard faint sounds coming from the front door. Shit, they're here.

"It just doesn't make sense that he would do that-" My mom cut herself off.

"What?" My dad immediately saw what made my mom stop talking. I noticed that the Akatsuki members were going from glaring at me, to staring at my parents.

After explaining it to my parents most of what happened today, half the Akatsuki stared getting left out.

"Haven't you ever heard of be careful of what you wish for?!" my mother lectured me.

"It was a sarcastic comment!" I explained. She rolled her eyes and rubbed her temples.

My mother ignored me and went into the kitchen to make dinner for now eight people.

As I sat at the island I noticed she was staring at Itachi. I cleared my throat getting her attention. "What, what are you looking at?" Jealousy slipped out.

"Nothing. He just looks vaguely familiar?" Well he does look like Sasuke. Maybe she saw my oldest brother watching Naruto when he was younger? He's not a fan anymore. "Didn't you say that he's your fake dead boyfriend?" I began coughing-choking on air. "What?" She asked confused.

xXx

After dinner I grabbed all the dishes and placed them in the sink for my dad to wash.

"Pssst, Max."

I looked over at my dad. "What?"

"Are you sure that these guys are the real deal? I mean there are weirdo's that dress up as their favorite characters." My dad looked over at the living room to make sure they weren't listening. "So what's the plan?"

I shrugged. "I guess we have to deal with them until we're able to get them back to the Naruto world. For now I could tell them where they can sleep." My dad nodded. "Plus what can happen?" I asked as I walked over to the living room.

"Don't jinx it your mother is already mad at you" My dad called out.

The Akatsuki or the four of them, looked up at me when I walked by them.

"Okay" I said, "I have some sleeping arrangements." Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, and Kakuzu remained silent. "There is an extra bedroom that use to be my brothers room, so I guess you guys can use it. And one of you can sleep on one couch and the other on the other couch."

"I think Sasori and Deidara could take the room since they're already partners. While Kakuzu and I can take the couches" Itachi suggested. That was a pretty good idea. And it's not like Sasori sleeps anyway.

"Okay" I nodded "I'll give you guys some pillow and blankets, I just need to go do something first." I walked down the stairs and into Lucas's room. I headed straight to the closet grabbing all of his _magazines_. I shoved them in an old bag of his and began tossing in posters. I have a close relationship with my brother.

"Interesting room?"

I jumped-getting startled and turned around to see Sasori and Deidara standing by the doorway. "Uh, yeah" I uncomfortably laughed pulled some more posters down. "Well enjoy!" I called out walking between them and up the stairs.

I walked past the other two and up the stairs. I knocked on Diego's room. It took a couple seconds before he opened the door.

"What do you want?"

"Can you keep this in your room for the time being?" I politely asked him.

He let out a sigh knowing exactly what they are. "Fine."

I thanked him and walked back downstairs with a handful of blankets and pillows. I set them down and walked back up letting Itachi and Kakuzu figure it out. I walked into my room and passed my desk-turning left I threw my shirt and pants on the bed and slipped in my pajamas, which was just a gray loose tank top and white pajama pants. I went into the bathroom and did all I had to do (brushing my teeth, combing my hair, etc.). I threw myself again and passed out.

* * *

I woke up slamming my hand on my alarm clock. It read 6:50. Don't worry, I'm on summer vacation. I just jog in the morning. These legs need taking care of, this don't come easy. I realized I was really close to the end of the bed. I scooted over and turn around-only to see the biggest lump under my covers. I ripped the blankets off. "AHHH!" I screamed and fell off the bed.

"Is there a survivor?" The green plant looking guy asked. I screamed again and ran to the door.

I swung it open and nearly bumped into a familiar orange mask. "AHHHHHH!" _He's_ here too!

Itachi walked up with Deidara behind him. "Meeting in the living room. Let's go Zetsu, Tobi" Itachi turned around left.

"Ah man Tobi's here." Deidara whined.

When I walked down the stairs-ignoring Diego's question, I saw Tobi annoying Deidara, Sasori glaring at Tobi and Deidara. And Itachi and Kakuzu were explaining to Zetsu what happened up to the moment of now.

"Who are you?" Tobi asked turning his attention to me.

"I'm Max" I awkwardly waved.

"Isn't that a boys name?"

"That doesn't matter" I mumbled under my breath.

"Well hi Max I'm Tobi" Tobi yelled out.

"She knows dim whit" Deidara scowled.

"And yet I don't" Sasori glared.

Silence.

"Do you want to tell him?" Deidara tried passing the responsibility to me. He clicked his tongue when I refused.

"Oh, there's more of them" My mother said at the top of the stairs. "I'll call Susan."

It didn't take long for the others to come over. I was surprised to see we all fit. Mainly because My parents and Ana's mom were in the kitchen while the four of us, including Diego, were left to attend to the Akatsuki.

"I don't want Zetsu but, I definitely don't want Tobi" I suggested whispering to the girls.

"I don't want Tobi he's annoying" Ana snapped.

"I don't want Zetsu, what if he eats me? And what if Tobi goes Madara/ Obito(spoiler alert)" Linda looked around cautiously. "He's a scary man..."

"Shit you're right" Ana muttered. "Obito scares me."

I'm not going to stay with Tobi now that Linda mentioned that, now I'm slightly scared.

"Zetsu we agreed that you would stay here and Tobi would go with Ana" I smiled innocently at the Akatsuki. I can deal with a cannibal.

"Son of a bitch" I heard Ana muttered under her breath. "Better watch your back _Chavez_ " she threated me.

"Why didn't I have a say in this?" Diego asked me.

"Because you know nothing of the Akatsuki and Naruto."

Pein cleared his throat getting our attention. "Alright then, Tobi will be coming with us while Zetsu stays with Max."

"I object!" Hidan and Ana both yelled.

"What? He's annoying" Hidan clarified.

"Okay then, Tobi will stay here" Pein tried again.

"I OBJECT!" Deidara and I both yelled.

"That hurt senpai" Tobi said in a hurtful tone.

Pein let out a frustrated sigh. "Okay then how should we handle this?"

"We could flip a coin?" Kisame suggested. He pulled a coin out and handed it to Pein.

"You're all children" Pein muttered. "Heads or tails?"

"Tails" Deidara called. Pein flipped the coin.

The coin bounced on the floor twirling around until it came to a complete stop. We all leaned in staring at the coin.

* * *

 **AN: Who does Tobi go with?**

 **Thanks for reading! Don't forget to review!**


	3. Tobi

**Ana: Hey there, glad you could join me. Where are my manners. Happy ThanksGiving! I'm thankful for-**

 **Max: Me…**

 **Ana:...**

 **Max:... and food**

 **Ana: For you(readers), for reading. I know, I know it sounds cheesy. Oh well, On with the story.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO,ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Ana**

I continued glaring at Tobi as he and Linda continued drawing. I returned my focus back to the tv as I continued playing on my Xbox. GTA. Max thought that it would be better if the Akatsuki didn't see the Naruto game. Might make them uncomfortable.

"Wait, so you can kill people, then put a "cheat code" and the police stop chasing you?" Hidan asked not understanding the point of the videogame.

"Yes," I sighed. I just want to read, but I don't like it when people question what I'm reading. And for a more obvious reason.

"Hey Ana-chan" Tobi said.

I looked over and glared at him. "Don't call me that."

"I have a question?" He continued, ignoring what I just said.

"What?"

"Who's your favorite Akatsuki member?" Tobi innocently asked me. Or maybe not so innocent.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at me.

"It's not that bad of a question," Tobi criss crossed his legs.

"Yeah, Ana just answer," Linda smirked.

I didn't feel like saying anything cuz it's awkward when the Akatsuki are present, or half. And it's not like I have a favorite they can all be equally annoying.

"Okay then you answer the question," I snapped at her.

"Tobi asked you!" She yelled back.

I swear, I wanted to throw the Xbox controller at her head. I sighed. "Fine my favorite would have to be…" I thought for a moment. "Pein and Konan."

The two who I've just said, stared at me.

"Pein and Konan?" Hidan repeated.

"Why?" Tobi tilted his head. I felt a little embarrassed.

"Watch out Pein, the fan girls," Kisame snickered.

"Or Konan, we don't know how she rolls." Hidan added. "We don't judge."

I rolled my eyes. I could _feel_ the empty promise. "I don't "roll" that way!" I yelled.

"Thank you for the compliment," Konan smiled handling it better than I thought.

"So Linda-chan? Who's your favorite Akatsuki member? Is it Tobi?" Tobi giggled behind his mask.

"No," Linda pulled her knees up hugging them.

"Yeah Linda, who's your favorite and why?" I hid my smile behind my hand.

She played with the carpet, head hung. "I...Itachi" she murmured. Kisame snickered.

"Why?" I pressed on. I Love revenge.

"Because...Because he's beautiful," Linda blushed burying her face in her arms.

Hidan and Kisame lost it by this point. The two were laughing, rolling on the floor. I couldn't stop laughing also. I heard Konan calling it cute, while Pein just raised an eyebrow. Weird isn't Pein? To have two girls under 18 going after _your_ members, but who cares.

"So does Linda-chan love Itachi-senpai?" Tobi asked almost amused. Linda shook her head to the side.

Hidan and Kisame slowly calmed down. Their breath a little shaggy.

"So we have two fangirls." Kisame managed to say between laughing fits.

"I'm not an Akatsuki fangirl, Tobi just asked who my favorite member was, and I answered." I said defending myself.

I'm a fangirl for Sasuke (creepy insane laugh) and always will be. That's my ninja way;). And they've never met fangirl Max. She's got like a hundred anime "boyfriends." Plus she's very perverted about them. And protective.

I pressed play and continued playing the mission.

"Ugh, I **hate** not doing rituals, Jashin gets impatient." Hidan flopped on his back. "I could have done it but _someone_ doesn't like cleaning" he to addressed me.

"Well I have to keep the house clean, especially now that there's more people" I said annoyed with explaining this answer four times already. Hidan is very persistent.

"Hidan just be quiet and calm down," Pein said rubbing his temples.

"Can't wait till this week ends, maybe Max will let me" Hidan pouted.

"I wouldn't get excited, Max is even pickier about cleaning than we are." Linda quietly spoke up, since after Hidan and Kisame laughed at her.

"So the lil guppy is finally speaking." Kisame bullied her. Linda glared at him.

You're probably sitting there thinking, I should help her...but.

Revenge Bitch! It just might be served fish.

* * *

"Tobi?" I slowly asked with a forced fake smile on.

"Yes?"

"Would you like to explain to me why there is a giant ball of granola on the table?" I asked.

"Well Tobi got bored so he started looking through the kitchen cabinets. That's when Tobi stumbled upon these granola bars, Tobi realized how squishy it was so he tried-and failed-an attempt to make a dinosaur. So Tobi made a ball," Tobi said.

I face palmed and rubbed my temples. Why do I have to take care of the idiot ones, the idiot ones. Can't I have a better job?

"Look ,Tobi?"

Tobi stood up and held his hand out. "Apology accepted." he got up and walked out leaving me very confused.

"Seriously?!" I yelled to the ceiling. "The idiots."

* * *

 **Authors Note: Those Kids are something these days. Well hope you're enjoying the story so far. Don't forget to review. I know, I know it gets annoying.**


	4. Just A Little Bit

**Linda: Hey there, how was your holiday? Mine was weird, there was a little girl who smelled like poo...it was nasty...I gagged a little.**

 **Just so you know in the story it's summer. But there is a thanksgiving chapter. We have everything written before hand. Let us get started. Don't forget to review.**

 **And Thank You,** **TwinkleTwinkleI'mAStar** **(hope that's right) for making this your favorite story! :)** **XD**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Linda**

Hello there. I like this group better than the last one. You see we had switched for the week having a new group of Akatsuki members. I didn't really enjoy being teased and called Little Guppy by Kisame. Plus in this group was Itachi and his gorgeous self. I just had to plan my staring. He's a ninja, he'll noticed.

As far for the others, Sasori and Deidara constantly argue, usually about art. I thought they'd argue about other things, but no. Kakuzu was counting money that he had on him. Itachi was reading a book that he had in his cloak. I mean those cloaks are very spacious, but it might be a black hole.

"Linda, right?"

I looked over at the beautiful voice that called me. I was currently sitting on the floor since there was no more space.

"Uh yeah," I stared at Itachi.

"What do you two or people normally do in this "modern time?" Itachi asked.

I just stared and stared shocked that he was talking to me.

"Um?" Itachi seemed a little concerned.

"Linda he's asking a question," Ana seemed fed up with the giggly attitude.

"Huh uh well to be honest, we- there isn't much to do. Iowa is a calm place and we're too young to drink or drive." I trailed off as everyone began staring at me.

"Well you're boring," Kakuzu said being straightforward, "can't even drink."

"I'm positive that there are bars," Ana thought for a moment.

"Then why don't we go drink!" Deidara suggested getting excited.

"Aren't you underage?" I asked him.

"Shut Up! What I do is none of your business!" He snapped at me. I made a face and mouthed 'attitude much'

"How old do you have to be to drink in "your world"?" Ana asked.

"20," Kakuzu answered.

"Not too young now are we?" Deidara snickered.

"But you're still just nineteen," I quietly said.

"Bud out stalker!" he snapped.

I'm not really liking Deidara right now. I glared at him and his annoying face.

"How old do you have to be to drink here?" Sasori asked joining our interesting conversation.

"21 but you have to have an ID."

We sat there in silence before a thought crossed my mind. "Where's Zetsu?"

We all sat in silence wondering how long the cannibal has been gone.

"He wasn't hungry right?" Ana spoke up knowing that he eats people.

"I'm right here." I screamed and jump as he came out underground behind me. I took a scoot closer to where Itachi was sitting.

" **We were just outside,** " Black Zetsu said.

"Admiring the tree, don't really like being indoors cramped in the dark" White Zetsu said.

We stared at him.

"You do realize you're part of the Akatsuki," Deidara said slowly. Zetsu shrugged and went back in the ground.

I turned forward to see everyone back to what they were doing before. Ana was watching t.v, Kakuzu was counting money, Itachi continued reading, Sasori and Deidara continued to talk, well argue about art. I sighed and went to the room and grabbed something to draw and went back into the kitchen.

I could try to draw Itachi, no that's weird. And I can't draw the sharingan, only Max can. And I only know how to draw the red Akatsuki clouds.

I sighed. When I thought the Akatsuki would be here I was hoping fun not stressful.

I Demand A Refund. And A Plot!

* * *

 **Author's Note: I know it's kinda boring but next chapter is when we can begin to have some fun and start getting into the intro plot. Before the real deal.**

 **Thank You for reading and don't forget to review.**


	5. Jesus vs Jashin- with a twist

**Max: Oh didn't see you there I was looking for my reasons not to kill people. I think I'll go ask Hidan, or Pein**

 **Ana: What's wrong with you?**

 **Linda: What isn't wrong with her?**

 **Max: Common sense, I have a lot of that which is good for my parents I guess.**

 **Ana: True.**

 **Linda: Yea Yea.**

 **Max: Well I've use up your time now on to the story.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ONLY MY STORY AND CHARACTERS.** **waikikiman- thank you for making this one of your favorite stories.**

* * *

 **Max**

Hello there good people who actually listen to me. You know I don't know how, but I ended up in a situation that, I Max would be weird to get in.

You see I was arguing with Hidan about religion. I'm Roman Catholic, But I'm not a really into it. I'm not hardcore like.

"You Don't Like God, Die None Believers!" No.

Anyways back to my arguments. It started when I told my parents that I'd clean the kitchen. They stay in their room more because the living room is where the Akatsuki is living. Living Room.

To distract myself and the Akatsuki I began watching _Beyond Scared Straight_. Good show.

"Jesus fuck man, that little girl is younger than me!" I yelled to the t.v. Hidan looked at me weirdly but ignored my comment. A couple minutes passed.

"Jesus give me the strength for these kids" I whispered shaking my head.

"Okay" Hidan snapped. "Who the fuck is this 'Jesus' guy, is he a figure a speech" he said getting annoyed.

"No, He's part of my religion, he's the son of God" I tried to explain.

Hidan blinked and stared.

"I don't remember Jashin having a kid" he muttered. I rolled my eyes.

After explaining to Hidan all I know about Jesus, God and Satan for good measures. Hidan just sat there staring.

"..."

"..."

"What the hell?!" Hidan burst out.

"What?" I asked him, not understanding.

"Jahin is the only God, your pathetic 'Jesus' is no match!" Hidan yelled.

This is where the line is drawn and I get offensive.

"Whoa, okay sorry to break it to you, but just because you don't believe in any other God doesn't mean you have to act like a jerk. Besides Jesus is a great unique person. He loves everyone, that's his thing." I nodded feeling happy with my answer.

Hidan snorted.

"Sounds like a pussy. Jashin only cares for those in 'The Way Of Jashin'"

"Well Jashin sounds like a douche!" I said getting pissed.

Hidan stood up and pointed his synth at me.

"Say that again bitch" He snarled.

"Make me Religious Whore!" I yelled back.

"Hidan and Max, that's enough." Pein said glaring at us.

Hidan and I glared, he sat down while I turned to put some stuff away. Thank God/Pein that was close. Get it I'm funny too.

After the episode ended Kisame sighed very loudly.

"Why don't we go out, we're just being kept inside." He complained.

"Well hate to break it to you but…" I paused for a moment. They were still in cloaks and ninja clothes. "But you stick out" I said trying to tell them gently.

"We could try to look like you" Tobi chirped. "You know not...anime looking"

We stared at him.

"That's not a bad idea, not a bad idea at all" Pein spoke slowly. Which was scaring me. "Good job Tobi"

"Yay Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi yelled out.

Pein pulled a scroll out. Using the chakra on his finger he began writing.

"What are you doing?" Konan asked him trying to get a glance at the scroll. Pein looked over at me and pulled a Kuni.

"This will only hurt a bit" he said walking over.

* * *

"Hey you were right that didn't really hurt" I rubbed my hand over my arm. Pein took a thin (1) layer of skin off me and placed it on the scroll. He continued writing, writing around the piece of skin.

It took an hour before Pein finished. He called the other members to test it out.

"So you want us to test this jutsu out?" Deidara asked, skeptically looking over the scroll.

"Are you questioning me" Pein glared at him.

"No" Deidara shook his head quickly. I heard someone cough out 'pussy' from the back.

The Akatsuki began performing hand signs. Except Pein and Konan. There was a ringing sound, and a lot of smoke. I coughed out trying to clear it with my hand.

I stared in awe as the smoke subsided.

No blue skin.

No mask.

No intense long hair (still long for a boy).

No stiches.

No puppet body.

No mouth hands.

"What the fuck?!" Hidan yelled out disgusted.

"Hm, I tried going for the age range of Max" Pein said looking around at the Akatsuki. He wasn't even phased about this.

"That's fine" I gawked at them.

"Wait, is that what you really look like" Deidara looked surprised at Tobi.

"No Tobi doesn't look like this" Tobi giggled at his curiosity.

Pein picked the scroll up.

"I guess it's our turn" Konan and Pein began doing the same hand sign.

All of us stared. I coughed up and narrowed my eyes. I used the back of my hand to hide my blush. I guess you can say… I'm still envious of Konan's body

* * *

 **Max: We love Konan, she's so pretty and strong.**

 **Ana: She can kick the shit out of anyone!**

 **Linda: Like Sasori.**

 **Max: Shut Up! At least I didn't smell a baby's full diaper!**

 **Linda: It was on accident!**

 **Ana: Quiet fighting! Anyways, we'll see you soon. Review! Please!**


	6. Shopping!

**Ana: There's nothing to say. Only that Max will start off this chapter. Only for a little bit….. see yea.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORY. And thank you Nardolini for following.**

 **Max**

* * *

"Okay you may think this is stupid, but I'll be changing your names."

"That's stupid" Hidan said bluntly.

"Well too bad because someone might recognize your names. Remember popular anime." Well, I think it's popular.

They sat down trying to to get use their 'new' body's. Pein said it's a jutsu so it's releasable.

"Okay I was going online to see what name I could get that started with the first letter of your first name" They nodded and kept quiet to let me continue.

"Pein, your new name will be Parker, so outside the house that's how I'll address you around people, respectfully" I handed him a sticky note with the name on it.

"Parker" Pein said letting the name roll on his tongue.

"Hey Parker" Kisame snickered.

"Address me like that ever again I'll smash your new face out the damn window" Kisame fell silent. I continued.

"Okay, Konan you will be Kalel" I handed her, her new name.

"Kisame you are now Kyle." He nodded.

"Itachi you're Ian"

"Sasori you're Shane"

"Shane?" Sasori still wasn't happy about the idea of being human after 20 years. Poor Sasori, going against his Art.

"Deidara you'll be Dean"

"Dean?" He seemed satisfied.

"Kakuzu your Keith"

"That sounds weak" I rolled my eyes.

"It doesn't matter" He snatched the paper from me.

"Hidan or should I say Hunter" I chuckled.

"Hunter? Heh now I can hunt down the non believers!" He gave me a crazy eye.

"Sure" I moved on.

"Zetsu your Zack" he nodded.

"And last but least, Tobi…"

"Yea!" He jumped in his seat.

"You're"

"Yea!"

"Toby" Deidara began laughing.

"What?" He seemed disappointed. "But, but why don't I get a name"

"Because your name already sounds normal" I handed him the paper, "only that this is spelled with a Y"

"Ohh, sounds important." He clasped his hands together forgetting that he was sad.

I stared at them and their clothes.

"That leaves me with one thing…" I squealed "It's time to go shopping!" I yelled

* * *

 **Ana**

Max had just called me informing me about the jutsu and the new names. She also said that we were going to the mall to shop. I dislike shopping, waste of my time.

I grabbed some spare money combining it with Linda's. shoving it in an old wallet I found.

As we waited outside the porch I saw a van roll by. The window slid down and I stared.

"Get in" Max yelled, I ran over to the window.

"What the hell are you doing, you don't know how to drive" I was not liking this idea.

"Yea, yea. I'm good I learned in Mexico, now get in." She got out the van and opened the trunk.

"Only room" she explained before I asked. I stared at the 'human' looking Akatsuki members.

I sighed not having a choice in the matter. Linda and I got in.

"We're going to die" Linda whispered to me. I just rolled my eyes.

When we got there Max opened the door for us.

"See I know" Max gloated.

"Yea, yea" I still don't like thought of her driving… and shopping. I mean, what do boys like.

"We could have died" Linda yelled slightly shaking.

"But you didn't" Max said sarcastically

We all just followed Max. She's the expert at this… shopaholic. We had gone everywhere, and I mean **everywhere**. Max was trying to match and be, all about that fashion. We had finally sat down at the food court.

"Will you stop making that face!" Max snapped at Linda.

"Well what if our parents come home early and see the van missing, and the 13 of us aren't there!" She yelled back.

"Ah come on don't be so uptight Little Guppy" Kisame laughed. Linda glared at him.

I think I'm starting to like Kisame. Respect.

Just as we were getting comfortable I heard a squeal.

"Max, Oh My God! What are you doing here!" I took a glance over at Max.

"Hey" she awkwardly stood up walking to her friends.

"OMG how's summer? Heard you went to Mexico for about two months"

"Yea"

I couldn't help but think. Imagine coming back after two months in Mexico, then a week later you have the Akatsuki in your house.

"The one with green eyes is cute" the short black haired one said looking over at Kakuzu. The blonde one looked at her phone and gasped.

"My mom's waiting outside we got to go, we'll see you when school starts Max" both girls hugged Max. Max stood still looking uncomfortable. She's not a hugger.

Max sighed sitting back down again.

"Congrats" Kisame said.

"You have a fangirl" Hidan laughed out loud.

"Not worth it green eyes" Max yelled down the table.

"You don't want to date girls in America" I chuckled.

"They take your money" Linda said.

"They get annoying and jealous" I added.

"They act like the perfect person who somehow took notice of you despite your flaws, then cheat taking everything and leaving no trace, ripping out your soul and heart" Max said darkly.

We stared at her.

"But that's none of my business" she chuckled.

"Are you okay?" Konan asked her wearily.

"Why?" Max said cluelessly.

We continued staring.

* * *

Max had dropped us off back to my house with the trio and Kakuzu and Linda. Linda unlocked the door to the house after pushing me.

"I'm never gonna get in the same car that Max is driving."

"You're still alive" I shrugged.

"I could've died!" she screamed at me and walked to our room.

"Geez, woman am I right" I elbowed Kakuzu.

* * *

 **Max: Hey did you know there really is an Akatsuki corporation**

 **Ana: Really?**

 **Linda: Where is it?**

 **Max: It's located in Tokyo Japan. It sells Kitchen, Cooking, Table Ware, Outdoor, Washing, Cleaning, Bath, Sanitary, Stationary, Interior, Storage items, Slippers, Tote bag, etc. I didn't even know. I just started messing around with google.**

 **Linda: Do you think that the Akatsuki are there?**

 **Ana: …**

 **Max: …**

 **Linda: …**

 **Max: Disappointment card.**

 **AN: I guess I own my Akatsuki Corporation and not the company… don't sue me. I'm poor unless you want pennies.**


	7. Adorable Insanity

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO I ONLY OWN MY CHARACTERS AND STORY. Thank you Draxien Oblivion for making this one if you favorite story's.**

* * *

 **Linda**

Hello, as you can see I'm still alive. After that stupid stunt Max pulled. I kept quiet about it, but don't think I'm encouraging it. I still could've died.

I sighed as I put my basket of clothes in the trunk. We were on our way to clean our clothes. In the back was Sasori, Deidara, then me and Itachi. Zetsu stayed behind, too tempted to eat people. Kakuzu didn't go because he didn't want to see money being wasted.

It was slightly uncomfortable being between the Akatsuki. They refused to use that "human" justu again. It made them feel disgusted. Wonder what that means.

Ana glanced back every once in awhile to make sure everything was still in check. But I could tell she was enjoying it.

* * *

 **Ana**

I was enjoying it.

* * *

 **Linda**

I got out car grabbing my clothes and headed inside. We put our clothes in the washing machine and inserted a card with money in it.

Ana had already sat down taking advantage of the free WIFI. I sat down next to her. I looked back over at the trio. They stared interestingly at the see through washing machine. A small smile crept on my face.

"What are you smiling at?" Ana asked making me look at her.

"It's kind of adorable how they're looking at the washing machine." I turned to take another glance, while Ana gave me a weird look.

I looked back over at Ana.

"I have to go to the bathroom, come with me" she looked unamused.

"You can go by yourself"

"What if someone takes me" She kept staring at me. I lowered my voice.

"We need to talk" I jerked my head to the side in the direction of the trio.

Ana looked from me to the Akatsuki back to me.

"Fine" she groaned standing up.

"We're going to the bathroom" I called out to my mom.

"Yea" she said not looking up from her phone.

"We're going to the bathroom" Ana said walking past the trio.

"Sure" they said not caring.

I locked the bathroom door and turned back over to Ana.

"What do you want?"

"The Akatsuki are so adorable like that" I couldn't help but awe.

"Really?" Ana asked me getting annoyed and began walking to the door. I stepped in front of her, arms out.

"Wait I was thinking on using the Akatsuki to our benefit" she stopped, hesitant.

"What do you mean?" Ana slowly asked frowning.

"When are we going to the grocery store?"

"After washing" she paused "yea after washing" I let her stupidity slip by.

"Well, we start acting so interested in the foods we like, they ask what it is, we get offended, we tell mom to by it for the Akatsuki, they hate it (I hope) and we get the rest. So we can basically get what we want" I said evilly.

"Max has nicely rubbed off on you" I shrugged "okay, well what do we buy-"

Anas sentence got cut off by an explosion.

"Oh no" Ana swung the door open. People were running and screaming, checking outside. My mom had put clothes in the drier, and they were done.

"What is wrong with you?!" Ana screamed.

"I was bored" Deidara shrugged nonchalantly,

"Idiot" Sasori and Itachi both said shaking their heads.

Ana had shoved our clothes in the baskets and stomped outside back to the car. As my mom began driving Deidara began laughing.

"Katsu" he yelled. An explosion of colors shot through the air.

"Why did you do that?!" I screamed at him.

"Shut Up! ART IS BANG!"

* * *

 **Max: Doesn't that just make a nice dinner conversation… well look on the bright side there'll not be any more conflicts… right?**


	8. Akatsuki vs High School

**Max: Did you know there is a power tool company called Hitachi. I learned that when I was using a power tool in my woods class. Itachi, Hitachi. Well there's your useless fact of the day… or chapter.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORY.**

 **Max: You should review if you haven't… please. The review whore is back.**

* * *

 **Max**

I don't understand why parents think that just because we see our classmates at registration means we're gonna go running into each other's arms. In fact, It'll be really awkward.

I closed the door of the passenger side. The Akatsuki insisted on coming along so they could "see the world", then I accidentally sanged my answer.

" _I can show you the world_ … that's all I know.

I got out hoping not to see anyone I knew. But knowing me, there is no hope. I walked through the hallways until I reached a room where they were holding there wasn't a lot of people.

As I stood in line I noticed that the principal was greeting families at the end of the line. That made my mom a little nerves. How about we take a stroll through memory lane.

You see, just before my oldest brother, Lucas, graduated him and his friends gave this high school hell. They rebelled skipped, were late to classes. Lucas once yelled/ cussed out the principal.

And that's where we go to my mother. She had to sit down and discuss Lucas's behaviour. Diego and I loved it. Diego, my older brother, the one who got me in trouble with the Akatsuki. Just so we're clear, it was a sarcastic comment!

"Hello… welcome how are you?" The principal smiled. I could tell it was fake.

"Good thank you" My mother replied. He extended his hand out to me, I didn't shake it too long.

Remember he's the enemy.

"Well I hope we have a great year!" Yea my brother ruined our name.

Suddenly the unexpected happen.

"Don't worry" Zetsu spoke. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders from behind. I shuddered.

"She's as innocent as the angles" Zetsu buried his face in my back just his eyes visible.

"That's great!" The principal smiled. What he didn't know was that Zetsu was slowly opening his mouth, as he did that his teeth slowly pressed against my back.

"How about we go get my schedule, we have things to do"

I pushed Zetsu off me and ran in. I went slow enough to get away from Zetsu but fast enough to not leave the Akatsuki alone.

As I exited out I saw that they were looking out a window that over looked the football field. I walked over to them.

"What's that?" Deidara asked pointing at the field.

"A football field"

"What's football?" Itachi asked looking over at me.

"It's a sport… you tackle with rules. The ball is a foot long"

They stared. Fuck.

"It's 3.. 30 centimeters" they nodded and continued staring.

Stupid metric system. I like our way better.

"Come on the five of you" I chanted.

"Why did you call us like that?" Sasori asked frowing.

"Reader's purpose" I whispered.

"What?"

"Nothing"

Deidara walked up to Sasori.

"Hey Sasori, you think we can beat our record in this place?" Sasori looked around.

"Yea"

"What record?" Kakuzu asked looking over at them.

"Well one day both of us didn't argue and combined our Art and destroyed a site in… a minute and 30 seconds with 13 hundred people" Deidara bragged.

" **impressive** " Black Zetsu said.

I could almost see and hear it.

 _Deidara and Sasori walking out, the high school in flames. Both covered in blood mostly, Sasori._

" _Awe we were so close, we were two seconds late on beating our record" Deidara sarcastically pouted._

" _Oh well" Sasori darkly chuckled. Deidara raised two fingers in a hand sign. The entire school exploded leaving nothing. Sasori glanced back, then at Deidara. Without looking Deidara answered._

" _Everything is badass with an explosion in the back." Sasori let himself smile._

I turned to the pair wide eye.

"Come on, like I said we have things to do"

"What you scared?" Deidara mocked me.

"Um, I don't want to go to jail, I have other ways of disappointing my parents" I said tensed.

We walked outside by the parking lot.

"You guys want ice cream?" I asked them, I began craving ice cream on this beautiful summer day.

"sure" they all agreed.

I got mint chocolate, Kakuzu got vanilla, Deidara got strawberry, and Itachi got chocolate. Zetsu only eats humans and Sasori doesn't eat.

Once we got home I dropped myself on the couch.

"So how exactly does the school system work?" I looked over at Itachi.

"It's Kindergarten (5-6) to High school in the twelfth grade (17-18 or 19)" I tried explaining since they have an academy which goes up to age twelve.

"I've been going to school for ten years now" man I feel old.

"Ugh sounds horrible" Deidara said making a face.

"I know"

Suddenly I realized something. Oh Shit. What's gonna happen when I leave the Akatsuki by themselves. Or more importantly what's gonna happen when I leave a bloodthirsty Jashinist alone.

* * *

 **Ana: Oh shit man, what will happen. Well stay toon who knows, what if we're forced to take them to school… … Nah! That will NEVER happen. Well see ya… akatsuki to school… no.**

 **Character Book:**

 **The Chavez children.**

 **Lucas - 19 - March**

 **Diego - 15 - January**

 **Max - 14 - July**

 **These three children can be a handful. Lucas and Max are more the troublemakers, the ones who live on the edge. While Diego is more calmer and a bit more sensitive than is two siblings, but can get tricky when around those two.**


	9. Educational Hell

**Ana: I had my iPod taken away…*sad face* oh well on with story*sniff, sniff*.**

 **Linda: Quit acting like a baby.**

 **Ana: You wouldn't understand! *glare***

 **Max: Yea, yea fight somewhere else we have a story to tell.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND PLOT. This chapter is short… sorry. And thank you Shy911 for following this story.**

* * *

 **Ana**

Oh God! It has begun.

I slammed my alarm off, I laid in bed wondering if I'll ever need school in my life. Unless eating and day dreaming is a part of school . It's pretty useless.

I slowly opened my eyes rubbing the sleep off. I sat up, and jumped startled at what I saw. I was staring at some blood red eyes that are colder than eyes.

"Ummm…" I stuttered out.

"Your mother asked that when we heard your alarm go off we would make sure that you weren't late. Same goes for Linda" Itachi ordered.

"Yea" I managed to say. He walked out closing the door but not without sending me a warning glare.

I didn't hesitate to dress. I think it's best not to anger or annoy Itachi, or any member of the Akatsuki. I grabbed a pair of pants and slipped on one of my favorite shirts. I grabbed a pencil. That's all you need on the first day of school.

I opened my door and fast walked over to the Kitchen. I stepped over Deidara, who was sleeping on the floor. Just as I stepped over him, he rolled over onto my foot. I screamed and fell down.

"Ugh… who the hell woke me up" Deidara snapped, sitting up.

"I tried to step over you but you rolled over and tripped me" I glared at him. He snickered.

"That's funny… Now keep it down!" Deidara yelled turning around, pulling the sheets over his head.

I swear I wanted to punch Deidara right then and there. I stood up and went into the kitchen to make myself some cereal at least.

I grabbed the keys to the house and opened the door to leave.

"Remember" Kakuzu warned me " You are not to speak of us" I nodded and walked out closing the door.

"Trust me, I won't say anything" I spoke softly to myself. I'm not telling anyone. Because most of my friends are Akatsuki Freaks.

* * *

 **Ana: Deidara can be quite annoying.**

 **Max: But he's so cute.**

 **Ana: …**

 **Max: …**

 **Ana: No**

 **Max: Fuck You!**


	10. Okay

**Linda: Yay we're in the double digits. Time flies by. I wonder if this story will get popular. We have everything written before hand so. No Need To Wait, precious people. All three of us are just proud.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. This chapter is short… sorry.**

* * *

 **Linda**

I opened the front door dropping my backpack and sweater on the floor. I to also dropped to the floor.

"Ugh" I moaned.

"How was school?" Konan asked me. She and Pein were lying on opposite couches. I almost forgot that the other Akatsuki members were at Max's house.

"Fine" I shrugged. Konan sat up and motioned me to her. I crawled over there, I was still on the floor.

"Here" she handed me an origami butterfly.

"Thanks" I said shyly, receiving the butterfly. "Um I don't want to sound rude, but why are you two here?"

"We didn't hang out with the others then, we're not starting now" Pein answered, "plus it's Max's punishment" Pein added.

I squirmed a little.

"Technically it was a sarcastic comment" Pein opened his eyes and looked over at me.

"Doesn't matter what you call it, it's still her fault we're here" I couldn't argue with Pein there.

"Hey where's Ana?" I looked around.

"Mail" Konan said, starting a new paper figure.

"They're probably having fun" Pein closed his eyes.

"Drinking" I mumbled.

"What do you mean?" Konan asked looking up.

"Max might be underage but she knows how to drink" I shrugged and stood up.

Pein and Konan looked at each other then at me.

"What do you mean?" They asked me. I walked down the hall.

"You'll learn when you're older" I called out walking into the bathroom.

"But we are"

"Oh… then I don't know" I closed the door to the bathroom.

* * *

 **Linda: I know it was short I'm sorry. I'm tired. I got up for school and I didn't sleep well.**

 **Max:*Glare***

 **Linda: What's with the glare?**

 **Max: You don't write these chapters I do!**

 **Linda: … oh… you really should have written more.**

 **Max: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ONE DAY!**

 **Linda: Save Me!**


	11. Awkward Desire

**Max: Hey guess what, remember when in the beginning when the three of us(I think Linda) mentioned the reason of the constant daily chapter was because it was prewritten. I finished the last chapter of this story. Remember PREWRITTEN. So I might change things here in there. But anyways yea, I have no excuse of being late. Unless something unexpected happens. But forget that… Enjoy this fun stupid chapter.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Max:**

"Little Shit" I barked. Hi there, you're probably wondering why I'm screaming. You see I had gotten back from school, and I thought I was to be able to relax after dealing with the first two weeks of school. But it seems that having the Akatsuki in your home, you don't get a choice.

It also seems that Hidan and I don't learn from the first time. Because we ended up in, you guessed it. A fucking religious argument. He starts them.

My dear mother left her cross necklace on the coffee. So when I came home and Hidan asked me what it was. I could've lied, but… I don't think that would be a smart choice. Then again anything I do with the Akatsuki isn't smart.

After I told Hidan, he acted like a total douche. He yell pathetic and threw it on the ground. And this where I leave you to present time.

"What The Fuck!" I yelled at Hidan for throwing the necklace on the floor. He hoovered his foot over it.

"You wouldn't dare"

"Try me" Hidan smirked evilly.

"You have three to move your foot" I warned "Three…"

He lowered his foot.

"Two…" He lowered it more.

"Hidan I swear… One!"

Hidan stomped on top of the necklace.

"Little Shit" I dropped my backpack and ran to tackle him. Hidan looked at me weirdly and kicked me in the stomach.

' _Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck_ ' I dropped to my knees and held my sides, I was on the floor in a ball.

I couldn't breath.

"Was that really necessary" Kakuzu asked him looking up from his money.

"Well she was going to attack me" Hidan said. Deidara walked over and peered down at me.

"You think she's breathing?" NO,No I am not!

"I got this" Kisame confidently walked over and hit me on the back. I began coughing. Air!

"Hidan stop acting like a child and pick the necklace up" Pein ordered. Hidan glared at him but picked it up.

"You… son… of a.. bitch" I managed to say. I glared at Hidan trying to see if I could melt him. I could not.

"I don't care" Hidan shrugged.

"Yea, well… I was going to teach you guys something… but no" I pouted like a child.

"Like what?" I looked over at Sasori who sarcastically asked me.

"Like, what we do, or how America functions, my iPod, food" I listed off, I may have sounded like a brat.

"What's 'My iPod'?" Tobi tilted his head, indicating that he was confused.

"No, it's just an iPod, only that it's mine" I tried to explain. "It's a device that can store, music, games, photos, internet… everything" I stared wide eye. "It's my baby, like Kakuzu with his money, or Kisame with samehada"

"Nice analogy" Konan raised an eyebrow impressed.

"Thank You" I smiled proudly.

"Show us" Pein said interested in the device.

"No Touching" I warned them. I pulled my iPod from my pocket and sat down where the Akatsuki could see it.

"I can watch shows, movies, videos" I showed them trying to avoid my pictures. I'm a fangirl, I'm gonna have those kinds of photos. NO NAKED ANIME PHOTOS! NASTY!

"Max, you said that it's possible to play games, can Tobi play?" Tobi giggled.

"No"

"Why?" Tobi seemed disappointed and depressed for rejecting him.

"What's in photos?" Hidan asked me.

"Nothing" I said a little too quickly. ' _Damn it, damn it, damn it._ '

"What's that" I looked over at Deidara.

"What's what?" Then the worst thing happened.

Hidan snatched my iPod and stood up away from me. I jumped up.

"Hidan you little" I glared at him.

"Let's do photo stream" Hidan smirked going through the pictures. But his smirk started fading, switching into one of an awkward uncomfortable look.

I was barely able to see the reflection of the iPod in the t.v. My stomach sank, and I felt my heart go to my throat. It was a picture of Hidan showering, naked from the waist up. He swiped, it was Deidara showering.

Hidan kept swiping seeing all the pictures of Itachi, Sasori, and Deidara. A faint smirk crept on his face.

"Lookie here Akatsuki, we have ourselves a fangirl… Max who knew" He paused "you were so naughty?!"

I've never wanted to kill someone so bad.

"What if I show the Trio?" Hidan threatened.

"Please don't" I begged him, my voice shook. Hidan threw his head back and roared a laugh. His smirk grew wider and he began approaching me.

* * *

I was tied up, my back against the wall next to the front door. The Akatsuki were across the room standing around Hidan looking at my iPod. The front door opened and my dad stepped in.

"What are you guys doing?" He stared from the Akatsuki to me. I continued glaring at Hidan. "Are you going to answer me?" I was still glaring at Hidan. My face was red with embarrassment and anger.

"I'm going to kill him, slowly and painfully" My dad looked over at who I was glaring at. He sighed and shook his head and went to his room and closed the door.

Just then Diego walked in. He stared.

"ummm…?"

"..."

"Max?" Diego looked back and forward.

"I'm gonna kill him, slowly and painfully" I glared at Hidan. Diego shook his head and went to his room.

Thanks for the help. Kisame suddenly began laughing.

"What?" Itachi asked frowning. Kisame playfully elbowed Hidan.

"Remember when Linda, Little Guppy, said she was in love with Itachi" Kisame and Hidan both started laughing.

"Oh yea" Hidan managed to say between laughing fits. This was the first time I've seen Hidan and Kisame bond.

"What about Ana?" Pein looked over at ignoring the pair.

"She isn't an Akatsuki fangirl"

"Why the hell not? We're fucking awesome!" Deidara said offended. I sighed.

"Because she's a Sasuke fangirl"

"As in Itachi's kid brother" Kakuzu asked frowning.

"Yea" I nodded.

"Damn Uchihas" I heard Deidara mutter under his breath. I think Itachi heard it but decided to ignore it.

"Let me get this straight" Konan spoke out "Ana likes Sasuke, Linda likes Itachi, and you like, Itachi, Sasori, and Deidara?"

"Three?" Pein confirmed.

"Well… Five" I giggled.

"Wow, Max is a naughty girl!" Tobi laughed almost as if he was happy about that. I glared at him.

"Who?" Sasori asked.

"Madara Uchiha and Neji Hyuga" They stared at me. "What, they have amazing hair"

"wow" I think I broke the Akatsuki.

"Fucking Uchihas" Deidara muttered again.

"Well that's who I am, a Psycho, Devil, Badass, Fearless, Perverted Fangirl. I Maxine Chavez" I announced proudly.

Silence.

"Hidan I think I just found you the perfect best friend" Kisame laughed.

" **She's also religious** " Black Zetsu added. My smiled faded.

Hidan smirked and sauntered over to me, handing the iPod to Pein. I tried backing away but the ropes weren't helping, and I was as far as I could go. I looked up at Hidan as he towered me.

He picked me up and slung me over his shoulder, like some sack of potatoes.

"Let me show you the world of Jashin" he spoke creepingly. I froze, I began screaming and struggling.

"Itachi, Kakuzu, Pein! Help Me!" I yelled. He shut the door to my room.

Well Shit.

* * *

 **Ana: That was stupid and funny, right Max.**

 **Max: …**

 **Ana: Max?**

 **Max: …**

 **Linda: I think she was scarred in getting to know the world of Jashin.**

 **Ana: Probably.**

 **Linda: Right Max?!**

 **Max: …**

 **Ana: :You're useless (hopeless). We see you guys later.**


	12. Let Them Play With Themselves

**Max: Hey guess what. I was doing a math problem and it said. 'Max had 43 more magnets than James' its just awesome to have my name in a math problem. And I have more magnets than James! Haha!**

 **Ana: You know it's just a math problem right?**

 **Max: Fuck You!**

 **Linda: I see you recovered from what Hidan did…**

 **Max: … (crawls under a table and rocks back and forward)**

 **Ana: Max?**

 **Max:...**

 **Ana: Great you broke her again.**

 **Linda: (shrugs) Oh well, let's just get to the story. These people are already getting weirded out with just the tittle.**

 **Ana: Yea Max what's up with that?**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Ana**

"Almost there" I ran to the house swinging the door open like there was no tomorrow. I threw my backpack on the couch and dove to the Xbox.

"The Akatsuki are at Max's house, which gives us plenty of time" I whispered to my Xbox.

"What are you doing?" I looked up to see Linda giving me a weird look that screamed ' _I'm judging you_ '.

"I'm going to play Naruto, I haven't played in about a month" I said giving full eye contact. I made her slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh my, it has been a month since the Akatsuki came" Linda said in such unpleasant tone.

"Yea… oh well" I turned on my controller and began playing.

Let me tell you that it felt awesome to play again. I slightly chuckled thinking how funny it would be if the Akatsuki were to play this. They can fight each other without destroying the house.

"That doesn't make any sense"

"You don't make sense, fucktard" I screamed and whipped around staring at the familiar terrorist group.

"How did you get in?"

"Oh, we put a seal in both houses" Deidara explained walking into the kitchen and began opening the cabinets.

"We are not, going to waste energy by just walking half a mile or less" Hidan said matter-of-factly. He threw himself on the couch resting his feet on the other armrest.

"So what are you up to" Kisame asked standing beside me. He frowned "Why does that guy look familiar?" He squinted at the screen trying to recall the face. I looked back at the t.v, Suigetsu was on the screen smiling. I looked back over at Kisame.

"No, you don't know him" I shook my head.

"That would be Suigetsu Hōzuki" Itachi said walking to us.

"Oh yea… why is he there?" Kisame asked. Damn it Itachi you just had to be a smartass! I could've gotten away with this if it weren't for you meddling kid!

"You're hiding something from us" Pein glared at me. Oh Fuck, wait... they already know they're anime characters.

"It's Naruto, the video game" I said slowly. They all stared at me.

"Why?"

"Why what?" I asked Tobi.

"Why the hell does that brat get a video game and we don't!" Deidara blurted out. I sighed rubbing my forehead.

"You are in the game" I said trying to keep my calm.

"Oh, that's awesome, and weird" Hidan said making a face.

I sighed, wondering how stupid this can get. Oh wait the universe hates Max, and because I hang out with her I have to deal with it also.

"So you guys want to play or what" I asked them. They stayed silent glancing at one another. "All right then" I went to the Akatsuki (in the game) and I pressed random on the game.

' _Hidan vs Deidara'_

I handed them both a controller as they were going to play as themselves. And I showed not only those two but to the whole Akatsuki, because I don't like to repeat myself.

"Any questions?" Tobi raised his hand, I sighed. "Yes Tobi"

"When will Tobi get to play?"

"When it's your turn" I grabbed an extra chair from the kitchen and watched as they played.

At first it looked choppy and crappy. But once Deidara and Hidan got the hang of it, it got funnier.

"Little Bitch"

"In the name of Art I shall defeat you!"

"Ahh, fuck you, you cheated!" Hidan yelled.

"I win asshole!" Deidara yelled just as proud as if it were a real fight.

"Fuck You, You Heathen!" Hidan threw his controller at Deidara's head.

"You dick, what the fuck!"

"Enough" Pein said loudly glaring at the two. I pressed the random button again.

 _Kisame vs Sasori_

This fight went alot smoother than the last one.

"Damn it Sasori stop doing that" Kisame yelled, trying to get away from Sasori's iron sand.

"Make me" he said in a satisfied tone.

"Kick his fishy ass" Deidara cheered his partner on.

"Itachi why aren't you cheering me on?!" Itachi stopped reading and looked up at Kisame. He glanced at Deidara.

"Not like that I'm not"

"Fuck you Uchiha!"

I was having a great time. Their matched ended with Sasori winning. I pressed the random button.

 _Konan vs Pein_

Oh just got awkward. I handed the both of them the controllers.

 _Begin_

The announcer guy said. I ran in the kitchen and made popcorn. I sat down having the Akatsuki circle around me to also eat. This was intense (not really, but to me it was).

* * *

We all stared, our jaws on the floor.

 _Winner: Konan._

"Holy shit Konan won" Hidan yelled, then began laughing. "Oh my Jashin, Pein lost to Konan, you lost to your girlfriend, that shit's funnier than-"

Hidan didn't finish his sentence because Pein threw Hidan against a wall choking him.

"How long do you think Hidan's going to stay in that position?" I whispered to Kakuzu so Pein didn't hear me. I don't want to feel his wrath right now.

"With what he said, a while." Pein let go of Hidan and walked to our room, but not without scarring Hidan by whispering a threat.

(Shiver) That shit's crazy.

The rest of us played until I had to go to bed. Switching turns and saying stupid shit. And no matter what Linda says, I only lost to Tobi was because he was distracting me. That pest.

* * *

 **Linda: Yea, that's the reason you lost.**

 **Ana: Shut Up!**

 **Max: I'm hungry, wrap it up so we can eat something I'm dying!**

 **Ana: You're always hungry.**

 **Linda: Like… always.**

 **Max: (pouts) let's just eat something.**


	13. Art With The Two Brats

**Linda: Soooo, I two episodes of Hydrid Child. It's really interesting and keeps me entertained. Oh well, that's all the time I'm taking away. See Ya! Review…**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. Thank You ladyblade318 for following.**

* * *

 **Linda**

I leaned back trying to get a glance at the living room. Sasori and Deidara were distracted by the t.v and their conversation. I stopped leaning and looked back down at the piece of paper in front of me.

I looked back at the pair to make sure they were distracted. I grabbed my coloring box from my backpack and picked out some color pencils.

"What are you doing, hm?" I screamed and turned around, wondering who scared me.

"Nothing why do you ask?" I looked up at Deidara.

"It looks like you're about to draw" He took a seat from the table and sat down.

"Yea, I _was_ " I tried hinting him, I don't think it worked.

"So tell me… who's Art is better or what is your definition of art." I stared at him. Ah chucks, I'm in a pickle now.

"Deidara, quit trying to force people into believing something pathetic." Sasori took a seat on the other side of the table.

"Sasori… my Art is correct. If something stayed internal the idea of it will rot. My way is something fleet-"

"Yea, yea, a fleeting beauty. You've said that phrase so many times I've memorized." Sasori cut off, annoyed that he memorize such a thing.

"Well I think art-"

"You know what I have to hear you emo all day about beauty and dead people" Deidara yelled back, cutting me off.

"Oh really, I have to deal with the whining and late arrivals"

"That's not really relevant-" They cut me off again.

"Whatever, you just changed the subject because you know I'm right"

"Art is **not** something stupid and fleeting-"

"Guy!" I yelled interrupting their conversation. "I think ate is coloring"

They stared at me giving me weird looks

"God that's pathetic" Deidara said making a face.

"I have more chance believing something is an explosion, than colors as art."

"What?" I stared confused.

"Yea, I have more chance believing something about puppetry as art" Deidara snorted.

I stared at them confused. Just a minute ago they were arguing about whose are is correct. And now they criticizing me! I grabbed my stuff and got up to leave"

"Where you going!"

"I'm not hanging around brats like you guys" I said irritated. "Hey wait… don't hurt me, I'm sorry" I ran to the room. "I don't want to die!

* * *

 **Ana: I'm sick and I can't breath…**

 **Max: Donate today to help another victim of the common cold. Please, donate to …**

 **Ana: What the fuck is wrong with you?**

 **Max: Everything except common sense.**

 **Linda: Donate and get free soup.**

 **Ana: I'm surrounded by idiots… well I'll catch you later (sniff) don't forget to review.**

 **Max: Only thing you catching is a cold!**

 **Ana: …**

 **Linda: That was stupid.**

 **Max: It sounded better in my head…**

 **Ana: Fuck you both (sniff) I'm leaving.**


	14. Halloween!

**Max: OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY JESUS, JASHIN, PEIN… I GOT A REVIEW. THANK YOU SO MUCH leoprdsnow FOR REVIEWING. YOU MADE MY DAY. YES THERE WILL BE FUNNY MOMENTS. THANK YOU.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. Please review, and sorry for posting late. I won't be posting Saturdays, that's my work days for this story.**

* * *

 **Max**

Yes people, today is one of my favorite days. No it's not my birthday, but good guess. It's halloween! Yay, who doesn't love Halloween! If you don't, I'll cut you!

Anyways, one of the good things of today is we don't have school. And I get to watch Tokyo Ghoul before I go out scaring children. I pressed play on the video and sat down between Deidara and Hidan. The whole Akatsuki were there and Ana and Linda too.

I just had to explain to them about the other anime, not really we're just watching it for the goriness, uncensored. You have to watch Tokyo Ghoul to its full extent! I mean it's Halloween, live the fear. And it's a fucking amazing anime… like duh.

The first episode began playing, with the city being shown. We all sat there watching up to episode 6 (my mom forced us to get off). After eating dinner, I went back to play episode 7. Unfortunately I hadn't realized what time it was, because someone was knocking. Diego was in charge of passing out candy.

I sighed in slight disappointment. I remember when I got free candy… man do the years go by, oh well. I put on all black clothes, and went outside to get the ladder. Don't worry, you'll find out what I'm planning later.

"Hey whatcha doin'?" I stood beside my mother.

"I'm making s'mores" She evenly distributed the chocolate on the grammy crackers. I awed at the soon to be s'mores.

I slowly opened the kitchen drawer, pulling a small knife out.

"Well I better get going, I have kids to scare" I backed away hiding the knife.

"Please don't" She turned around to give me a displeased look.

"Yeah, whatever" I mutter.

Sike! I went outside grabbing the ladder that I got out earlier. I climbed up and on my roof.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh fuck, jesus christ!" I yelled grabbing on to whatever was neer. I looked down at Hidan.

"What are you doing?!" I yelled, pissed that he made me lose my balance.

"What are you doing on the roof?" I sighed.

"I'm going to scare little children"

"Why didn't you tell me I'd love to do that. Especially now that we're best friends" Hidan gave me a smirk, knowing that he was annoying me.

"We are **not** best friends. I already have one. No it's the girls, this person has tolerated me for ten years" I held my nose in the air with pride.

"Ten year?!"

"Ten years!" I smiled with pride.

"To hell with your friend!"

"Why do you care anyways" I scowled.

"Because you're able to tolerate me" Hidan smirked a winning smile.

"You sick bastard."

I sighed in defeat, Hidan had a point, he was going to be a good pawn in my plan. But that does not mean we're best friends! I told him my plan, step by step for him to memorize. Finally the time was right.

A little girl in a princess outfit just had to be our victim. I slowly began breathing loudly and creepingly. I jumped up screaming, with the most creepiest smile. I held my knife up, like I was going to kill the small girl.

Hidan came out from his place and swung his scythe around like crazy mental guy. Or Hidan's inner self. I got a little scared when Hidan swung a little too close.

The little girl screamed, crying. She dropped her bag of candy and ran, ran like there was no tomorrow. I jumped down from the roof and ran to retrieve the candy.

"Its full!" I yelled to Hidan smiling.

"Nice!" We ran inside before we got caught or got in trouble (same thing).

The minute we stepped in and closed the door, we lost it. The two of us fell to the ground laughing, my abs were burning.

"Hey, I didn't know you put fake blood on the knife" Hidan said between his laughing fit.

"Huh?" I chuckled. My smile dropped as I stared at my now bloody hand.

"When did that happen?" I yelled, staring at the red liquid dripped over my palm.

"God damn it Max" Ana shook her. I got up and headed to the bathroom to clean it.

"Meh, Worth It!" I yelled out shrugging.

* * *

 **Max: DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW, SEE HOW HAPPY IT MAKES ME!**

 **Ana: Oh god she's using all caps… (shudder)**

 **Linda: Get the plastic bag, we need to bring her back down to earth.**


	15. Fanfiction

**Linda: Hey, what are you doing?**

 **Max: Come join me.**

 **Linda: Okay. Hey where's Ana?**

 **Max: Oh, read the chapter and find out…**

 **Linda: That's not creepy, oh popcorn!**

 **Max: With butter!**

 **Linda: Nice!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. Thank you Draxien Oblivion for reviewing!**

* * *

 **Ana**

Where are they? Damn it, don't tell me I lost them or the fell under the bed. I puffed my cheeks out, getting irritated by the second. I rubbed my eyes, trying to calm myself down.

"Seriously how can I've lost them already."

I laid my arms down by my side… wait. I reached and grabbed my glasses that were laying next to my thigh.

"There they are" I groaned as I got off the bed, I opened the door trying to sneak out the room.

I walked into the bathroom for some pricacy(since Pein and Konan were in my room and the living room is occupied). I pulled the tablet out from hiding, where no one could touch it. I opened the internet up and looked through the book marks. Finally, I found what I was looking for.

Yes, you can guess now. I was finally able to read my fanfiction again, man that's christmas to my ears. I haven't been able to read since the Akatsuki came.

I mean, yeah they know they're part of a video game. And their lives are fake and it actually revolves around the nine tails jinjuriki (something they can't catch). But fanfiction or fan-anything, is completely different!

"Whatcha doin'?" I screamed and turned around to see Tobi standing behind me.

"Why aren't you sleeping?!" I yelled at Tobi.

"Why aren't _you_?"

"Touché... "

I shook my head and got up pushing past Tobi. Great the others are awake.

"Yo what's going on, damn it Tobi shut up for once" Kisame yelled at Tobi, clearly pissed.

"Yeah, I was having a good dream!" Hidan also yelled. I was so close to asking him what it was, but I don't think I want to find out.

Pein walked out of the room with Konan following behind. He didn't look pleased, oh shit.

"Would anyone care to explain why I am being woken up in the middle of the night…"

"Tobi entered the bathroom and found Ana in there" Tobi answered the pissed off leader.

"Okay…" He looked over at me "and what were you doing in the bathroom?"

"Reading" I mumbled.

"Nerd!" Hidan snorted. I glared at him.

"What's going on?" I looked past to see Linda walking out rubbing her eyes. I sighed, I just hope we don't wake my mom up.

"Is that where you're reading from?" Kisame asked, taking the tablet and reading it.

"Oh, that's just- Oh god wait!" To late.

"What the fuck?!" Kisame yelled in disgust.

Hidan snatched the tablet and began reading out loud.

"The bomber moaned in delight feeling the Uchiha's hard, WHAT THE FUCK!" Hidan yelled looking disgusted, he held the tablet away from himself like it had the plague.

Pein, Konan, Tobi, and Linda looked over at me questioningly. I stood there my face getting red.

"Pein, bring them in now." Hidan said slightly pissed or looked ready to hurl.

"Then I said… fuck Ana because she woke me up!" Max yelled glaring at me.

"You know you could've stayed home"

"Yea but it's the middle of the night and Pein called us. You think I'm gonna miss this opportunity?"

"She has a point" Linda said, shoving her face in popcorn.

I opened my mouth to tell her off, but someone spoke before me.

"We have a problem" Kisame addressed the Akatsuki. He had his hands behind his back and began pacing back and forward.

"For once I feel, slightly bad for you all, slightly" Hidan said, he looked over at me. "Read them them the story"

"You read it to them since you wanted them to know!" I protest. I am not reading that story out loud.

"Fine" Hidan scowled and grabbed the tablet from the couch. He opened his mouth to tell the story.

* * *

We all sat there, in an awkaward, disgusted (to them) uncomfortable silence. Deidara and Itachi took a glance at each other before scooting **far** away from each other. Only problem with that is, Sasori was sitting at the other end of the couch. Sasori fixed this problem by pushing Deidara off the couch, then wiping his hand on his cloak.

Truth is, the story was an Akatsuki fuck off. Each member had their own little story with Deidara.

"I… didn't know you had such a nice reading voice?" Max said amused.

"That's what you focused on?" Kakuzu asked her, giving her a weird look. She shrugged.

"I… feel so violated" Pein said in horror.

" ** _You_ , **Feel Violated?!" Deidara yelled. Trying to tell Pein and the others that they're not the victims.

We sat there for another long five minutes.

"I'll kill who did this" Itachi muttered, his eyes glowing red.

"I'm right behind you" Deidara growled, he smooshed some clay in his hand.

"You better not!" Itachi glared at him.

"Wrong choice of words, **dumbass.** " Zetsu shook his head.

My face grew a little more red.

"Just wait until Uchihaest…" Max muttered under her breath.

"Jashin bless you" Hidan called out over his shoulder. She stared at him frowning.

"That's not-"

"Need a tissue?" I asked Max before she could correct Hidan.

"Well I'm traumatized now" Linda said looking straight ahead.

"Well on the bright side, we learned that Hidan has a talent for reading out loud" Konan smiled.

"Yeah what's up with that" I looked up at him.

"Shut Up!"

After another hour past, the other group (trio and Kakuzu) left to Max's house. Can't say they'll sleep tonight. As for everyone here, I just slowly slipped away till I made it to my moms room. Unfortunately I managed to hear a disgusting comment from Tobi.

"I didn't know Senpai could bend like that"

Everyone's jaw dropped to the floor, staring at Tobi.

"What?" He asked oblivious to his comment. Scratch that, no one is sleeping tonight not even me.

* * *

 **Linda: That really didn't answer my question.**

 **Max: She's hiding herself from the Akatsuki, and everyone else.**

 **Linda: Well at least they didn't see other stuff.**

 **Max: Or did they?**

 **Linda: (suspicious) What do you mean?**

 **Max: When we came home, I showed them fanart, the clean way, then the other fanart.**

 **Linda: That's nasty.**

 **Max: Yeah… I don't like it either, but hey you gotta finish the job!**

 **AN: Don't forget to review, I like opinions… just not in school.**


	16. Meddling

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Linda**

I scribbled down the answer to my math problem. I sighed and looked over at the cause of my distraction. Max, Ana, and Kisame were circling around and giggling like a bunch of school girls. Or that's how I saw them.

I sighed again and tried to ignore them, I have homework to finish. I slightly flinched as the three yelled out in laughter.

"Geez, shut the fuck up, you're like a pack of school girls!" Hidan yelled, looking up at his book. Wait Hidan's reading?! That's new.

I got up from the table and stood beside the three.

"Oh hey Linda, what brings you here?" Kisame gave me a cocky awkward grin.

"I _was_ doing homework, but some people are distracting me with their laughter's!" I glared, showing them that I was annoyed.

"Oh Linda, take a break go step outside, get the mail while you're at it" Ana suggested getting up.

"You know, I've been thinking, as I was telling Kisame" Max stopped and looked up at me. "Itachi's not exactly how I imagined him" she whispered.

"What do you mean?" I slowly asked her.

"I mean, yeah he's hot but, he's boring, I thought he'd be more interesting. I'm dropping him from my Anime Boyfriends List;" she sighed and looked over to see Itachi coming out of the hallway.

"Hey Itachi! Just the man I was looking for!" Max called out. "Kisame and Linda were just about to go outside and get the mail, why don't you join them, since you're just stuck here like an animal" Max laughed, then slightly flinched clutching the side of her stomach.

"I suppose, you alright" Itachi frowned looking down at Max.

"I think I just got a cramp from laughing too much" she shrugged and walked away.

I grabbed the keys and walked out having Itachi and Kisame follow me. We walked in silence until I heard Itachi speak.

"Kisame?" I turned around to see Kisame crouched down looking at something.

"hm, oh go right ahead, I'm just admiring the little plant"

"You sound like Zetsu" Itachi muttered, he sighed and continued walking.

I looked back over at Kisame, my jaw dropped as he gave me too thumbs up. I jogged to keep up with Itachi.

After getting the mail we decided to head back to the house.

' _C'mon Linda, just start a nice conversation'_ I glanced over at Itachi. This is it, the only time I'll be able to have a nice private conversation. I need to go fast we're getting real close to the house.

' _Just say the first thing on your mind'_ I took a deep breath. I felt my cheeks getting red.

"So… you… gotta girlfriend?" I squeaked. Itachi stopped walking and looked over at me.

"Pft! Hahahaha! OH MY GOD THAT'S GOOD" I looked over to see Max, Ana, and Kisame in our tree.

"OH MY FUCKING GOT 'YOU GOTTA GIRLFRIEND' THAT'S TOO GOOD I- Ahhhh!" Max slipped and fell to the ground on her back. On a root.

I stomped over to them, my face was flushed with anger and embarrassment.

"OH MY GOD, MAX FELL!" Ana yelled holding onto the sides of the stomach.

"I can't take no more!" Kisame wiped a tear and got down with Ana.

"Fuck" Max coughed sitting up.

I stood there glaring at them waiting for them to explain to me.

"Best Joke Ever!" Ana exclaimed.

"Yeah" Max got up brushing some dirt of her. "Oh yeah, please tell me you didn't believe me" She walked over and stood beside Itachi.

"He has a permanent place on my list" Max smirked at me.

"You guys are mean!" I wailed and stomped up the steps.

"Awe, come on little guppy" Kisame called after me.

"I am **not** your little guppy!" I yelled slamming the door behind me. They shall pay, one day, that's for sure.

* * *

 **AN: Sorry for these late, short chapters. I've been busy with school and other things. I know I have these pre written, but I have to then type them on my computer. I wrote these in my notes on my iPod… kinda. I don't know if I'll be able to do this daily, but I'll try hard.**

 **Well that's not what you want to hear, sorry for complaining. I'll see you later, my… hm.**

 **Tell me in the reviews what you want me to call you.**


	17. Max vs Organs

**Ana: I am so disappointed, I decided to read on my iPod, and do you know what happened. It died on me, it just died.**

 **That's bullshit. But whatever. I was in charge to give you a list of names that we can call you.**

 **My:**

 **\- Readers.**

 **-Little Guppys**

 **\- Followers.**

 **-Peasants..**

 **Wait, Peasants, really? You know if you hate these names. just give us a better one. And I** _ **know**_ **there are plenty of people out. So You Better Review Mr/Mrs. Lazy!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Max**

"Max, are you alright? You've been taking a lot of pain killers." Konan looked over at me concernedly. She has a point, I have been taking a lot of ibuprofen.

"Don't worry about it, I think I'm just gonna get sick or something" I smiled reassuringly so Konan didn't have to worry… if she was. I set my cup in the sink and put the medicine on top of the fridge.

I grabbed the handle of the fridge as I suddenly grew dizzy. I winced as a pain shot through me, under my lower ribs. I took a breath to tried and calm myself. I forced myself to walk.

I sat down on the couch between Hidan and Konan. I tried to act casual, so I crossed my legs (that only made it worse so I uncrossed them). I sighed as a I got frustrated.

"I'm gonna go shower" It was seven-thirty, and the Akatsuki and I had been watching movies all day.

I stood up, a harsh pressure, pressed itself against my skull. I continued walking using the wall to keep my balance.

I undressed and stepped into the shower. I leaned against the wall for most of the time. As I stepped out I looked at myself in the mirror.

My face was white and pale, my eyes were dull. They were just gray, green, and brown (remember they're hazel).

I slipped into my pajamas and decided it was best to just read in bed. I was in a fetus position, not that it was helping much. The pain came in waves, it would feel like someone was squeezing my insides with a needle in their palm. But it would only last a couple seconds.

 **9:00pm**

I left the door open to my room, just incase the Akatsuki or my parents need anything. A knock came from the door. I looked up from my book to see Kisame at the door way.

"You need something?"

"Your parents asked if you wanted a quick snack"

"Yeah sure" I closed my book and stood up. I cried out in pain.

"You okay?" Kisame asked turning back.

"Yea, I'm just a little sore from laying in the same position." I forced a laugh out. He nodded and left.

I rubbed my temples and forced myself to walk out.

 **9:15pm**

I only drank milk and ate a banana. I quickly brushed my teeth and went out to say good night. The other half of the Akatsuki already left, leaving, Pein, Konan, Hidan, Kisame, and Tobi. I slipped in bed, I tried every position to try to subside the pain. I somehow managed to go sleep.

 **1:28am**

I woke up abruptly, my skin moist from sweat and my breathing quick and choppy. I gasped as the pain shot through me, worse than before. I turned on my lamp.

I heard some moving and footsteps. My door swung open, which startled me a bit.

"What are doing, why are you awake?" Hidan asked me, he was holding his pillow and blanket.

"What are _you_ doing, in _my_ room!"

"Kisame's snoring and Tobi kept kicking me in his sleep muttering 'good boy, good boy', you?"

"I'm a light sleeper I sensed something before you came in" I told him not too pleased.

Hidan nodded, almost impressed. He closed the door.

"Don't worry, I won't try anything" Hidan reassured throwing his stuff on the floor beside my bed. I sighed.

"Don't worry I'm not that vulnerable" I mumbled. Hidan chuckled.

"That's what they all say" I gave him a disgusted look.

"Night" I said, ending the subject. I turned the lamp off.

 **1:47am**

"Hi… Hidan" I breathed, I gripped the sheets.

"Hi… Hidan" I said louder, a slight moan escaped.

"Hidan!" I yelled out, gasping.

"What!" he sat up from laying on the floor. He slightly squinted against the light coming from the lamp.

"Get… my parents" I forced the words out.

"You okay?" Hidan asked standing up. I shook my head to the sides.

As soon as he left I slowly changed out of my pajamas and into the clothes I had on earlier. I tried to see if I could stand. I screamed, an actual scream. It just felt as if someone ripped my organs. A couple tears fell.

To my surprise, Pein and Konan walked in.

"What's going on?" Pein asked (sincere as always).

"Are you okay" Konan asked wearily.

I couldn't talk, I lost my voice. My parents rushed in.

"Are you okay" I didn't answer, I couldn't.

"Max?"

"Hospital" I said, barely audible. My dad left, to turn on the van I assume.

"Can you walk?" I shook my head (trust me, I've tried).

Hidan walked over to me and bent down picking me up, bridal style. We entered the van and sped away to the hospital.

At one moment I gripped Hidan shoulder too hard that I got yelled at.

"Damn it Max, I'm immortal, but that shit still hurts!" he snapped at me. I would have laughed if this happened at a different time. I suddenly felt myself go limp, my energy was nearly gone.

I don't remember much beyond this point. I went from and X-ray checking, to sitting in a wheelchair as a nurse gave me a shot to subside the pain. A doctor was explaining my situation to my parents, Diego, and the Akatsuki.

"So we'll need to perform an emergency surgery" Wait what, I was spacing out. A pair of nurses came out rolling a bed.

"We need her on the bed" Kisame helped me get on the bed.

"I'll contact Itachi" I heard Pein say to Konan.

They began rolling me out, someone placed an oxygen on my nose and mouth. I slowly began feeling hazy, almost dream like.

My eyes drooped and closed in, in the darkness… a place where I will not be aware of things.


	18. Detective

**Linda: (sipping Hot Chocolate) How are you, I'm fine. I'm surviving, here or there. This makes no sense.**

 **I wanted to start this off dramatic but… oh well guess not!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. And thank you, I appreciate your reviews. And sorry in advance for failed medical research.**

* * *

 **Ana**

I woke up to the sound of a phone ringing. I ignored it and tried to go back to sleep, until I felt someone shaking me.

"What?" I groaned.

"We need to go to the hospital" My mom said, her voice shook.

"What time is it?"

"It's two in the morning"

Before I could ask why we had to go, Itachi walked in.

"We're going with you, Pein has summoned us to" He walked out. Sasori appeared at the door way.

"Hurry, I hate waiting and keeping others waiting" Sasori said coldly.

I turned to look over at Linda. She was already awake, sitting up. Both of us jumped up and out of bed. We've heard threats from Itachi, Sasori and Pein. And let me tell you, they're far from the definition of pretty.

We all got into the car, Zetsu said he'd teleport to Pein (sink into the ground, I don't know man it's two in the morning). That left Itachi, Sasori, Deidara and Kakuzu squished in the back seat. Linda was sitting on my lap up front.

"Why are we going to the hospital?" Linda whined, rubbing her eyes.

"Because" Itachi answered. "At 1:48 Max was rushed to the hospital." Linda and I turned around to look at Itachi.

"What!" I yelled, the others seem surprised also.

"Why? What happened?" Deidara asked looking past Sasori.

"Pein said he'd explain once we got there" Itachi sighed. We sat in silence.

"Hidan" Kakuzu spoke out. The rest nodded in agreement.

I looked over at my mom.

"I don't know" she said before I could ask.

I have to know what happened. I guess I'll have to be: Ana The Detective.

' _She solves crime, and finds solutions. For the sake of answers'_ I sanged in my head.

"Ana" I looked over at Linda who was shaking her head in disapointmet. I hate when she's able to read my mind.

My mom parked the car near the front entrance of the hospital. We all got out, well I pushed Linda off. But no time for that.

We walked up to the receptionist.

"Can I help you?" A white, brown haired girl asked.

"We're looking for a girl who was rushed in the emergency room thirty-minutes ago, under the name Chavez" Itachi spilled out smoothly (damn him).

"Hold on" the girl began going through the computer. "She's located on the 9th floor, section B" She scribbled the directions on a piece of paper. Then quickly wrote something on the back. The girl slipped the paper to Itachi giving him a wink. He took it (ignoring the wink) and we headed to the elevators.

Itachi frowned at paper after examining it. He flipped it to the back side, it was a phone number. I heard a scowl from Deidara.

"Even here they hit on him" I looked over at Linda who looked annoyed about it. I leaned over and whisper to Kakuzu.

"What does he mean 'Even here'?"

"In "our world" they flirt with Itachi 24/7"

"Aparently, girls don't know the meaning of, Mad Clan Killer" Sasori whisperd.

We walked out the elevator, this isn't the first time I've been in the hospital. I've been here to visit people and stuff.

I found a doorway with a letter B written on the top. There were three families, not including Max's.

"Hey Pein" Deidara greeted him walking over.

"What took you so long?" Pein asked irritated.

"Sasori and Kakuzu were arguing who would sit in the middle" I sighed sitting down.

"Whatever, well we're all here so I'll explain what happened.

After explaining to us what happened. Max's liver was filling with unnecessary fluids.

"How long will it take?"  
"About 4 hours" Konan said tiredly.

"What are we going to do till then?" Kisame asked.

"Sleep!" Hidan.

"Wait" I said getting everyone's attention. "You guys were with Max this entire week. Didn't you notice anything?"

"Yea but it was her fault for trying to be slick in the Akatsuki" I turned to Kakuzu.

"How does that help" Kakuzu thought for a moment.

"Life Lesson" he finished. I stared at him.

"How?" I yelled impatient.

"Did it involved pain?" I looked over at Pein.

"Yea" I said slowly.

"Then it was my lesson" He seemed satisfied with his answer. He closed his eyes (probably to sleep).

"Max would've needed the surgery either way" Itachi pointed out, closing his eyes.

I opened my mouth to say something until I felt someone tug on me. I looked at at Linda. She shook her head, I sighed and sat down. Linda's right I'd probably just waste my breath. I closed my eyes getting comfortable, reluctantly, I fell asleep.

* * *

I woke up and rubbed my eyes, I sat up and looked at my iPod. It read 6:00am.

" Fuck my neck" I looked over at Hidan rubbing his neck.

Everyone slowly began to wake up.

"What time is it?" Tobi sleeply asked.

"six"

"Max should be done" Konan stated.

Just then a doctor came towards us.

"What's up doctor" Diego asked standing up. I jumped up and gulped.

The doctor narrowed his eyes, and shook his head in shame.

"We… lost her" I sat down feeling the world collapse on me.

"We tried everything… forgive us" No I thought.

Damn it.


	19. Max

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Linda**

I felt my body go numb.

"How?" Ana slowly asked.

"Blood loss, and other things" The doctor softly whisperd. I buried my face in my hands and cried. This isn't real, Max can't be dead.

I felt my mom hug Ana and I. I coughed and cried harder, tightening my grip. Max's parents and brother were also crying, the Akatsuki sat there silent.

"It was painless, Marissa shall rest in peace." The doctor sadly spoke. Why Max, why did you… wait. We all looked up at the doctor.

"What did you say?" Deidara asked coldly.

"No pain was involved, Marissa shall rest in peace" We all gave the doctor a 'what the fuck' face.

"This is the family and friends of Marissa, Marissa Green?" The doctor looked around in wonder.

"NO, you shit head!" Hidan yelled.

Realization hit the doctor.

"Ohhhh, awkward" he uncomfortably laughed. "My bad… well, see ya" He walked away.

I blushed and wiped my tears, not believing that I just cried in front of the Akatsuki. The Akatsuki themselves sat there, awkward that they were swayed (especially Pein, so sincere). After five minutes in silence, a nurse (woman, what guys can be nurses) came up to us.

"Is this the family of, Maxine Chavez?"

"Yes!" Max's mom frantically answered.

"Everything went smoothly, nothing to worry about now" the nurse smiled at us reassuringly.

"So she's fine" Deidara asked smiling. I gave an odd look at him, why does he care. The nurse (now that I saw her name, Nurse: Kate Harrison) blushed and nodded.

"So you'll be taking care of Max?" Itachi asked, Kate nodded.

"So I'll… we'll be seeing you around?" Deidara smirked. I understand now, he's flirting with the nurse he doesn't care about Max.

The nurse giggled and blushed. "I have to go prepare another opperation" She walked off, but not without giving a wink to Itachi and Deidara. I didn't like that.

"You know she's older right?" She's a nurse so I assume she's older than nineteen.

"I don't care kid" Deidara snorted.

"Max isn't going to take it well that you were flirting with someone" Ana pointed out, which she got a glare in return.

"Let's go girls" My mommy called out.

"What" The both of us groaned.

"Yeah, you're still going to school. We'll come back later after dinner" I gave a heavy sigh, but I got up to leave.

We said farewell to the Akatsuki for now. As we exited the building I took a last look, until I heard my name being called. I ran catching up to my mom and Ana to the car.

* * *

 **AN: I'm sorry! I am a terrible person, I haven't forgotten you people! I just got tired, and I didn't want to type. And its' short!**

 **Well that's no reason, I'm sorry that I missed two day!**

 **Forgive me. OH well it was just two days, I'm sure other people have done worse.**

 **But still, forgive me, my apologies.**


	20. Haze

**Max: Who has watched Brothers Conflict? Well this first scene has the same set, before the op theme, of Brothers Conflict. Just so you're not confused. P.S I forgot to mention this in the Halloween special but… the Akatsuki know that they died in the show, and how.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Max**

 _'Where am I?"_ I was in a blank space with light shaded colors around me. I was wearing a white dress with long sleeves. The dress reached mid-thigh, I was also wearing a gold bracelet on both wrist. I stood still looking around.

"A dark soul, ice heart" I looked in front to see Pein and Konan with their backs towards me.

"Deep down, a sun with a Leo's conscience" Koan stated taking a glance at me with a smile. I gawked at them.

"Who knows the value of money" I turned to my left to see Kakuzu, he wasn't wearing his usual mask, showing his long black hair.

"Religion" I looked up to see Hidan's violet eyes staring down at my hazel ones.

I blinked, he was gone, vanished. I looked down to see I was wearing white converse, something lifted my chin.

"A sword expert" Kisame stood holding Samehada, lifting my chin up.

Suddenly I felt someone grabbed hold of my wrist, entwining our fingers. Their other arm snaked its way around my waist, holding me against them. I stared into a pair of chocolate red eyes.

"Sasori" I breathed, and blushed.

"You are my definition of art" His voice always in a seducing way. "Eternal beauty." I blushed harder.

"No" a voice echoed, Sasori vanished. I felt a pair of arms hug me from behind. A tone chest pressed itself against my back.

I turned my head to the left to see Deidara close, breathing down my neck. I blushed again.

"Don't let him brainwash you with the wrong art" Deidara whispered, "because… my art is bang" he winked at me. My face grew redder and hotter as he softly and gently stroked my cheek.

"Those eyes that could be more dangerous than mine" My eyes snapped forward, Itachi stood, us alone.

"That can trap anyone"

Itachi gently lifted my chin up leaning in. Rose petals flew up.

' _That was us… Akatsuki & Friends'_

* * *

I snapped my eyes open, but immediately closed them due to the brightness of the room.

"Hey she's waking up" that voice sounded like it belonged to Hidan.

I fully opened my eyes to see Hidan on my right peeking over. I looked to my left to see Deidara, also peeking over. At the foot of my bed stood Itachi, Pein, and Konan. The Akatsuki slowly circled around my bed.

"Max-chan!" Tobi yelled. My parents pushed through the group.

"How do you feel?" My throat was dry so I couldn't really talk.

"Diego, get the nurse" my dad ordered.

A nurse came in checking me, my heart, my lungs. Finally she wrapped her stethoscope around her shoulders.

"You should just get plenty of rest, let the medicine fully wear off." I nodded and closed my eyes. I didn't care if I was being rude to the Akatsuki, I was tired.

I opened my eyes, the room was a lot darker. The lights were off and one of the shades were down. I saw Itachi staring out the window, observing whatever was below. Probably people, cars, our college football team stadium. Who knows.

I looked over in the same direction where the foot of the bed was. Hidan and Deidara were both sitting in chairs sleeping. Only thing was, Hidan was hugging Deidara around the waist. I mentally laughed wonder how both would react.

"You're awake" I looked over at Itachi. He walked over pulling out a chair facing me.

I realized that he took his cloak off. I looked back over at the sleeping pair.

"Why doesn't it surprise me that he hugs in his sleep" I addressed it to Hidan, I muffled a laugh.

"Stories" Itachi answered, referring to the Fanfiction.

"Guilty… hey, what happened while I was getting surgery?" I softy asked.

Itachi told me everything. From Ana trying to be a detective, to everyone thinking that I was dead (you cried) . We sat in silence.

"Max?" I looked over at Itachi. He was looking down, but finally he looked at me.

' _Kiss me'_

"I have something to ask" Itachi said slowly.

' _I'm committed to whatever you what Itachi'_

"When we were playing the game in which you can play as the Akatsuki-"

"Oh I see" I interrupted, "I told Ana to try not to play around you guys, might make you uncomfortable." I smiled.

"Right" Itachi nodded, "well when tobi was choosing random, I… I saw Sasuke wearing an Akatsuki cloak"

I grew still, a panic chill ran down my back.

"By the way you tensed up, I sense you know something" Itachi's face darkened.

"Uh…" Shit.

"But first I want to know something" I nodded and kept my mouth shut to let him talk.

"You said you knew everything. So that means-"

"My lips are sealed and so are the girls" I blurted out. "Sorry." Itachi nodded.

"Now about the cloak"

For a second I thought he'd forget about that, but this is Itachi. Okay no worries, I'll just give him a quick summary.

"Okay so it's a funny story" I took in a deep breath. "So after you and Sasuke, "encountered" Tobi, you know **Tobi**. Well Tobi told him everything, and I mean everything. So he wants revenge on the village. And Tobi's like 'bitch get me the eight tails I'll help, wear this cloak tho'. So Sasuke battles blah...blah...blah. Get's 8, so he runs to the village, but Tobi stops him, when Tobi stops him Sasuke like 'Da Fuq, Tobi wash you doin' and Tobi's like 'Girrrl, I mean Boyyyy. 8tails tricked you wasn't him. Plus Pein destroyed the village. (But that's a different story) So Sasuke goes, blah...blah...blah, kills danzo falls down the path of evil, meets four people. Blah...blah...blah becomes good and I'm like, yessss, gets stabbed and I'm like noooo. But gets stronger and I'm back to yasssss."

I panted from doing all that in a single breath, Itachi just stared at me.

"But he's doing just fine" I smiled reassuringly. Itachi softly smiled.

"Well so far, I'm only on episode 441, now that is commitment" Itachi rolled his eyes and me.

I laid still.

"Wanna know something?" Itachi looked up and me. I leaned forward to him. "I'm hungry" I whispered. Itachi handed me a piece of paper.

"This is a list of what you can eat for now" I took it and grabbed the phone.

After examining it I went with clam chowder, chocolate milk, and vanilla frozen yogurt. After calling what I wanted, I layed in bed and looked over at the pair, they were snuggling closer than before.

"I wish I had my iPod" I sighed. Itachi opened a drawer and pulled out my iPod, and handed it to me.

"My baby!" I whispered loudly. "Just know I am mentally hugging and kissing you" I opened up camera and took three photos.

Just then a noise came from Hidan and Deidara. They slowly opened their eyes… they blinked registering what's happening. Both of them yelled and pushed away from each other. Since Hidan was faster and stronger, he ended up pushing Deidara on the floor.

"What the hell were you doing?!" Both yelled in unison.

"Why the fuck were you snuggling up against me?!" Hidan demanded, pointing.

"Why the hell were **you** hugging me around the waist?!" Deidara yelled. But before Hidan could answer, the door swung open and Pein walked in with the other members following behind.

"What is going on?!" Pein asked but it sounded more like an order.

"They cuddled" I mumbled. Konan looked over at me and smiled.

"You're awake" she seemed pleased. Awe Konan you're such a angel… Lady Angel Konan.

I talked with Pein and the others. I asked questions they answered, they asked and I responded.

" I know this is late, but where are my parents?"

"They took your brother to "practice" and they went out to eat" I nodded. My food arrived a little later.

"What's that" Kisame asked pointing to my soup.

"Clam chowder" they stared at me. "It's good."

We all just talked to one another. I was talking to Itachi, as he asked me what the stadium was, so I explained it to him. There was a knock on the door.

"Come in" Itachi answered for me. Awe isn't he sweeter than the candy and dangos he eats (aren't there sweet dangos?). Ana and Linda walked in.

"Hey…" they slowed their tracks. I was confused and glanced over at Itachi. I realized at that we were pretty close to each other. They continued walking, Linda glared at me, oh well.

But it seems she had a trump card.

"Hey Max, have you seen the pretty nurse that Deidra's been flirting with, while she flirts with him and Itachi?" I gripped my spoon so hard it snapped (plastic).

"Well Linda" I lowered my voice so only the three of us could hear. "I have gotten more, and will get more, from Itachi and Deidara. Than the nurse and you will ever get" I smirked.

Point Max: Itachi

* * *

 **Max: You thought I forgot about the points didn't you. Well I see you soon.**

 **Don't forget to review.**


	21. Birthday Sasori

**Max: It's a birthday, a very happy birthday.**

 **Linda: Will cake be included?**

 **Max: Yes**

 **Ana: What kind?**

 **Max: Vanilla… and velvet.**

 **Ana: That's awesome!**

 **Linda: Lets go!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Ana**

Today Max was being released from the hospital after being kept there for five days. But then the Doctors forced her to stay in bed, until after a week she's able to go back to school.

We flashed in her house, we're use to flashing in and out of the house.

"Oh hey" Kisame greeted Pein.

"Hey guys" I heard Max's voice, I looked down the hallway where her bedroom door was open.

"Don't forget to say Happy Birthday to Sasori!" she yelled from her room.

I looked over at Sasori, he glared at us. He didn't look all that happy.

"Birthday Sasori" Linda muttered.

"What?" I looked down at her.

"Well Sasori doesn't look all that happy of his birthday so… birthday Sasori" Linda's voice trailed off.

Silence.

"Ohhhhh" The Akatsuki nodded.

"Why didn't I think of that?" a deeper voice spoke. I walked down the hall and peeked into Max's room. That's who I was forgetting.

Deidara was sitting in _my_ chair between the window and bed (it's a chair that Max has that I like to sit in).

"Sup" Max greeted us. I entered the room entirely.

"What's he doing here?" I slowly asked.

"Oh I asked if the Akatsuki could take turns on keeping me company and not making me feel lonely. That's why I left the door open so I can talk to them"

Max and Deidara were playing around with clay.

"Hey Ana, want to be a good person and do me a favor"

"Sure" I leaned my weight on my other foot. I was tired, we had to run the pacer today (it was horrible).

Max opened the top drawer of her nightstand, pulling out an envelope and handing it to me.

"What's this" I asked trying to take a peek.

"It's money for you to buy a cake" I raised an eyebrow, but I think I have an idea on what's it's for.

I walked out the room and into the living room.

"Okay who wants to go to the bakery, sike too bad I'm choosing who's coming along. Kakuzu, Kisame, Linda, and myself need to do an errand." I announced.

"And that would be…?" Pein asked.

"Cake. to the bakery, Kakuzu" Kakuzu sighed in annoyance and sent us to the bakery to retrieve the cake.

We've been looking at cakes for the past ten minutes and none of us could agree with each other.

"Okay, just call Max damn it" Kisame snapped. I stuck my tongue at at him, but I dialed her number.

"Yo" her voice came through the speaker.

"What flavor?"

"Vanilla"

"K bye" I hanged up and turned to the lady at the register (have to keep it quick).

"A vanilla cake please" I pointed to the cake that was sitting by the window. She noded and went to go retrieve it.

The bakery was inside an organic store, so there were a lot of things to look at.

"Hey Ana" I looked up at Kakuzu.

"What?"

"Isn't that your mom?" I looked over to the spice aisle and ducked down.

Why the hell was my mom here? And where's Linda? I can't have her go near there.

"Hey, Isn't that Ma?" Linda asked. "Hey Ma!" She called out. I clamped my hand over her mouth and threw us to a place to hide. We're only allowed to go to Max's house.

My mom turned around looking at who was calling for their mom. She shrugged and headed to another aisle away from the bakery. I glared at Linda before taking my hand off her. We retrieved the cake and went back to Max's house.

I handed her the lighter that was sitting on the counter. She lit up a candle with the letter S.

"Birthday Sasori" Max smiled. She was laying down on the couch (with the recliner).

"This is pathetic" Sasori muttered. Wow he really doesn't like his birthday. But in the end he blew out the candle.

"Yay Cake!" Tobi yelled in excitement.

If I say so myself, I think I chosed an excellent cake.

"Hey Happy Birthday Sasori" I called out… oh fuck. Sasori slowly glared at me.

"Uh… please don't hurt me" I squeaked. Sasori slowly raised himself off the couch.

"I'm sorry!" I ran out the house running. "I want to live!"


	22. Friend

**AN: **HEY I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY**.**

 **I'LL BE GOING TO MEXICO FOR WINTER BREAK, AND I'LL BE STAYING WITH MY OTHER GRANDMA THIS YEAR (THE ONE THE DOESN'T HAVE WIFI).**

 **SO SINCE I WON'T HAVE WIFI TO CONSTANTLY UPDATE. I'LL POST ONCE A WEEK, FOR THE THREE WEEKS I'M GONE.**

 **UNTIL THEN, I LEAVE YOU WITH THIS CHAPTER. SORRY IF IT'S CRAPPY.**

I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.

* * *

 **Linda**

Oh hello, didn't see you. Don't mind me I'm just thinking of a way to get revenge on Max. You see if you don't remember let me refresh your memory.

Max left me to go out on a walk with Kisame and Itachi. Well, Kisame got "distracted" and left me alone with Itachi, where I embarrassed myself, and the three (Ana, Max, Kisame) laughed at me.

Well anyways, I was just thinking of a way to get back at Max. Something relationship wise, but what can I use?

"I said get away! I don't want too!"

"Sure you don't"

Hidan and Max passed by arguing out loud about their "relationship" as "best friends". Or Hidan trying to make a new friend, he doesn't have a lot of those, he probably kills them.

Now, back to my problem. How do I get revenge, hm.

3...2...1

I've got it! I'll just get Max… a new best friend, and by best friend I mean Hidan. Sure she doesn't want to be friends with him since the "incident" (Jashin), but whatever, Max is just stubborn.

I skipped my way over to Hidan who was now looking in the fridge (we were in Max's house) deciding what to snack on.

"Whatcha doing?" I leaned back and forward on my heels.

"What do _you_ , think I'm doing?" Hidan looked over at me.

"Looking for food"

"Good, you're not entire dumbass like Tobi" Hidan pulled a slice of leftover pizza and walked away. I followed him to the living room ignoring his insult... I think it was.

"You know Hidan, I can help you with your problem" I told him in a sing song like voice. His face changed in surprise.

"You're gonna be my sacrifice?"

"No… I'm gonna make Max your new friend, partners in crime, since you both are pretty wako" It's true, only one of them has a criminal record… and the other is in the Akatsuki.

Hidan tapped on his chin thinking.

"Alright I'm in" He got off the couch and walked over to me looking over at Max.

"So what do we do?"

Hm, I didn't really think I'd get this far, but I think annoying her to the point she has to be his friends should do it. And… it'll be revenge because I'll send her to a place call… irritation.

Hidan and I would meet up tomorrow to begin our plan on… no. Hidan was sitting down next to Max annoying her. Nevermind we're doing it now.

"Why do you keep on insisting on being my friend!" Max screamed at Hidan.

"Let's make a list shall we. 1) It annoys you, 2) You're able to tolerate me."

"That wasn't much of a list" Max pointed out.

"Whatever, you know what I mean!"

I pulled a chair out and sat in front of the two of them.

"Max sweety, you have to expand your world and make new friends" I nodded my head sympathetically.

"Look, I already have a best friend, and if I become his friend, Ana gonna go in her phase where she just starts shipping people as couples" Max scrunched up her nose.

"Hey, who said I'm gonna do that" Ana yelled.

"Yeah but it's true that it's a phase"

"True…" Ana muttered, and went back to watching t.v.

"Yeah, so I'll take a pass on your offer. I'm not having an criminal friend."

Max got up from her chair to go, probably away from us.

"They're fun to have around!" Hidan exclaimed in offense of Max words to him.

"If I say yes, will you leave me alone!" Max snapped.

"Deal!" Hidan yelled.

Yes, she's annoyed now my revenge is complete. I mean, I could have tried embarrassing her like she did to me, but that's really hard to do to Max. I should keep a mental note on that, learning ways on how to embarrass Max. That almost sounds like a book or show.

"I don't think that was the brightest of your ideas" Konan pointed out as I sat down next to her.

"Meh, whatever, trust me there will only be stupid ideas, and no where close to a relationship… or will there, dun-dun-dunnnnnn!

"He's 22 and she's 14, that's disgusting" Kakuzu pointed out, almost like he was ready to barf.

"You just ruined the moment!" I yelled in a angst voice.

* * *

 **AN: I won't see you until I'm connected to wifi, and there's a huge chance I'm not going to be able to post while I'm gone.**

 **But fingers cross that my motivation gets stronger, bigger… whatever.**

 **Don't cry… and don't forget to review. Sorry for this lame chapter, it's just odd.**

 **And just incase you didn't know (because let's face it some of you don't) AN - stands for Authors Note.**


	23. Thanksgiving

**AN: OH MY! It's been awhile hasn't it. I'm sorry it took so long, there was bad traffic and bumpy roads. And no wifi at my grandmas house. I mean, I got to relax and unwind in Mexico. But when I started heading back home I started thinking about the story and you guys. So with more to say at the end (author's note at the end of the story) I'll will leave you with chapter 23, Thanksgiving.**

 **Max: 3 seconds! hahaha**

 **Ana: You've been telling that same joke for the past week and a half. It's not funny anymore.**

 **Linda: Yeah. Why can't you tell the story on how Ana got-**

 **Max: What? Why did you stop?**

 **Ana: Holy shit they're back.**

 **Max: What? Who?!**

 **Linda: The readers, who else?**

 **Max: ohhhhhh!**

 **Hello, we missed you. You probably missed us as well! Well fear no more! A chapter is here.**

 **Ana: Enjoy the first Chapter of 2016.**

 **Linda: Of** _ **Akatsuki Corporation!**_ **Enjoy!**

* * *

 **Max**

 _Poke, poke._

I sighed for the second time.

"Would you like… get up" I said to Hidan. I was on top of him trying to wake him up.

You see today is a very important day, a special day. So special, that I'm waking the Akatsuki up from their precious sleep. Which is something no one should do, so don't try it at home kids. Today is important because my brother Lucas is coming home today, from his party house. He lives with his friends somewhere else, I call it the party house because of how stupid his friends are. And how much they party. But shhh, don't tell my mom.

"Why do I have to- why the fuck are you on top of me?" Hidan asked getting weirded out.

"I need you to wake up, you're like the last one to wake up. Why are you always last?" I said getting off him and walking to the kitchen where everyone else were having breakfast.

"Why the fuck are you waking me up from my precious sleep?!" See what I mean, they love their sleep.

"Because today is a very important day"

"What's today?" Pein asked as Hidan took a seat next to Kakuzu.

"Well" I grabbed Hidan's breakfast and placed it in front of him. "My brother is coming home, no not Diego, my older? Oldest? Yeah my oldest brother Lucas is coming home for Thanksgiving" I took a seat between Tobi and Deidara.

"So when is he coming home?" I looked up at Diego who was walking in.

"I don't know ask mom" He sighed and took a seat at the counter.

After about five minutes of silence, excluding the fork and plates sound, my phone vibrated.

' _Don't forget to clean, and get dressed'_

"Great my mom just texted me to clean"

"Heh, you have to clean" Deidara began laughing at me.

"Ha, you have to clean too, you live here" I said sticking my tongue out.

"How about no"

I rolled my eyes and got up to clean. I started from the bathroom to my room, I had Diego clean the living room while I did the kitchen. After mopping I changed out of my pajamas and went to go sit in the living room, the Akatsuki stayed at the dining table. Finally I heard the car pull in and steps being taken… the door opened up and Lucas walked in.

"Ah my home!" He exclaimed dropping his bags.

"Ah, my little sister!" Lucas picked me up and gave me a bear hug, my legs dangled off the ground. "How are you?" he asked me setting me down.

"I would be better if you hadn't done that" I muttered, he laughed out loud.

"Ah, my little brother" Lucas ruffled Diego's hair. "Ah my…." Lucas hummed and rubbed his chin staring at the Akatsuki.

"My sister's fake boyfriends" I began choking on air. Why does everyone have to say that out loud.

"So you're the famous Lucas" Pein muttered glaring at him, it went from Akatsuki to Max's fake boyfriends.

"Only those three are Max's fake boyfriends" Konan said pointing at my trio.

"We're not even her fake boyfriends" Sasori glared at every one.

"Whatever I only know one of you, and that's Itachi" Lucas said pointing at the hot Uchiha, while taking a seat next to Tobi.

"Fuckin Uchiha's" Deidara growled under his breath.

"Do you say that every time some acknowledges Itachi?" Kisame asked giving him a look that I quite can't find the word to.

"And I know you" Lucas said pointing to Kisame, "and you" he said to Pein. "And I think I've seen you around" he said to Tobi.

"Tobi is famous" Tobi said getting happy. "More famous than senpai."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP TOBI!" Deidara yelled shoving clay in the eye hole.

"On another note, I heard you got your permit" Lucas said facing me.

"Yup" I nodded my head.

"So you ready to start messing around with cars?!"

"Wait why didn't you ask me when I got _my_ permit?" Diego asked looking slightly hurt.

"Because this is man's work" I said facing him.

"You're a girl, I'm a boy!"

"Well I have a fucking scar."

"Because you got surgery!" Diego yelled.

"Well I'm not a fucking pussy" Hidan spat out some water he was drinking, and began coughing and choking.

"Alright stop fighting" Lucas said stepping in between. "Mom and Dad are coming home and they want us to start preparing for Thanksgiving...which I just realized is today"

We all sat in an awkward silence. I don't know why since the house was clean, and my parents can cook. Which is exactly what happened. Once they got home my mom started making pasta (yum) and my dad prepared the chicken, we don't like turkey. Ana and Linda came with their mom around six to eat with us.

"So before we begin eating" My dad announced as we all sat down. "What are you thankful for… Maria?" My dad asked my mom.

"That all my kids are here, my friends…. and, some special guest this season" She awkwardly eyed the criminal group.

"What about you Lucas?" My dad moved on.

"For having two house, which equals more food" He said giving us a stupid smile.

"Amen to that" Kisame said, Hidan nodded in agreement. Food is awesome.

"What about you Diego?"

"uh, I guess my family" Diego smiled at my parents. * _cough cough*_ , kiss up, * _cough cough*._

"Alright, Max?" Oh fuck. Now I could say some shit like friends and family, but everyone would know that I'd be lying. Can I pass? Is that possible?

"Uh… my ability of bringing Anime characters to life" Every stared at me. My parent cleared their throats. I turned my attention to the Akatsuki and Ana and Linda.

"I don't have to ask you guys because I already know what you're going to say"

"Oh really?" Konan asked underestimating me.

"Okay" I cleared my throat. "Jashin, money, pain, Pein, fish/sushi, sweets, art, art, me for showing you anime and Sasuke, and your piggy stuffed animal"

The Akatsuki stared at me their jaws hanging, including Ana and Linda. I leaned back in my chair satisfied.

"Am I wrong?" I asked.

"Lets just eat" Konan said annoyed that I was completely right.

Now you know it's Thanksgiving and that means I am allowed to eat till I explode. Foodgasim, foodgasim everywhere (food + orgasim = foodgasim). I ate the fuck out of the pasta, did I mention that its alfredo and pasta is my favorite food.

"So where are we going in an hour" Hidan asked.

"I already said black friday" We were in the living room chillin.

"And what's that?" Itachi asked.

"Its when-"

"The aliens take over and start making everything black!" We all slowly looked over at Linda.

"Just shut up!" Ana said shutting Linda up by throwing a pillow at her face.

"It's where you buy a lot of things, but there's a lot of discounts. You save money" Ana explained.

"Save money" Kakuzu looked up.

"Yeah, with coupons and store discounts, and rewards card if you have any" I added on.

"Saving money" Kakuzu muttered.

"I think you found Kakuzu's favorite day" Deidara said looking over at the greedy man.

I sighed and grabbed the deck of cards that I left on the coffee tabel. Suddenly an idea popped in my head.

"Hey Kakuzu? Wanna play?" I asked waving the cards around. Kakuzu raised an eyebrow and shrugged taking a seat on the floor across from me.

"Just don't cry when you lose" He taunted me.

"Oh… we'll see"

* * *

 **AN: Hey guys I have an announcement about my posting. For the rest of the month I'll be posting every other day until I get back into a routine. Then I'll go back to posting daily (or trying) except Sundays. Thanks for your understanding, and follow me so you know when I post.**

 **Max: I don't forget to Review!**

 **Lina: Again you're back to that.**

 **Ana: We just came back and you immediately say 'don't forget to review.'**

 **Max: Shut up, it just a way of them saying they like it. Or not. We haven't gotten any feedback you know.**

 **Now's not the time for lecturing, so I'll see you later!**

 **Linda: Bye!**


	24. The Coupon Queen

**Max: I'm bored…**

 **I'm**

 **Really**

 **Tired**

 **And**

 **Bored.**

 **Ana: I swear. It's always you're tired and bored, or you're running around hyper like you're on meth.**

 **Max: Whatever.**

 **Linda: I think there's someone following me.**

 **Ana: Why do you say that?**

 **Linda: Because I keep hearing footsteps when I walk.**

 **Max… wait. So every time you walk…. you hear footsteps. Is that correct?**

 **Linda: Yeah?**

 ***Facepalm* Disappointment card.**

 **Ana: That's your own footsteps you idiot!**

 **Linda: OHHHHHHHH! That makes so much sense, thank you.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Ana**

 _'Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. There's a land that I've heard of, once in a lullaby.'_

Wait what am I doing? Oh yeah I was in the car with my mom and sister, and some of the Akatsuki members in the back seat. With Tobi in the trunk. Pein, Konan, Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara. Went with Max and her parents, since they have a minivan, that isn't really mini. While the rest went with me, with Linda on my laps of course.

"Ow, Linda don't move so much! Your bony butt hurts!" I snapped. I can't wait to push this kid off me.

"Well it's all squishy in here! So like, patience por favor, a thank you." She said sassing me.

"Will the both of you calm down!" My mom glared at the both of us.

We finally made it to the mall, it was a mall just outside of town. Not the usual one where we took the Akatsuki. I swung the door open pushing Linda off me. She screamed and slipped on a patch of ice that was hanging around. I threw my head back laughing.

"AH FUCK!" I head Hidan yell. "Damn just because you lost doesn't mean you have to act so sour towards me!"

"Shut it!" Kakuzu snapped.

Oh yeah… we left you guys on a cliffhanger didn't we? Well let me tell you. It took, Pein Itachi, and Konan to keep Kakuzu from killing Max. At first Kakuzu was going easy and let her win on purpose, but it was kinda hard to explain after the six loses to a fourteen year old girl. But Max pushed it and began gloating. And if you're all smart enough you know never to make fun of a criminal, especially an Akatsuki member. I popped open the trunk letting Tobi get out by himself.

I walked over to the familiar car and saw Max staying as close to Itachi and away from Kakuzu.

"How's it going?" I asked peeking over Itachi.

"Good! Ready to shop!" Max said straightening up and walking alongside Linda and I. Well that was easier than I thought.

We entered the Nike store, probably the only store that I like. I'm not a big fan of shopping, which is something that you guys know about me. But Nike shoes, Nike shoes are a whole different story. I love them!

"Alright Ana chose only **one** pair of shoes" My mom said stressing out the one. I looked around the aisle to see what would catch my attention. That's a problem about shoe shopping. Either there's nothing interesting and lame or something bea-

I stopped and stared just across from me. It… it was just beautiful. I slowly walked over to the shoes that had caught my eyes.

"What's up with you?"

"Shhhh" I hushed Max. "They're just beautiful" I whispered. "Maaaa!" I yelled for my mom.

"Damn don't have to yell!" Max said holding her ears.

My mom walked over holding a box, what seemed to be Linda's shoes.

"What?" She asked.

"I want those shoes, get me those shoes" my mom looked over at the box and gasp.

"Beautiful right?!"

"Expensive Right!" She yelled. "Go find some other shoes!" She snapped.

"But, but…" she was already far away. I slightly whimpered and sanked to the ground holding the pair of beauties.

"You know Ana" Max said. "I could help you out. You know, someone like me, who's an expert in this" she said kneeling down next to me.

"How?" I asked her suspiciously. She pulled her wallet out and pulled some coupons and rewards card.

"I… am the coupon queen. I shall help the needy." Max whispered helping me up.

"Ah, thanks Max! Let's Go!"

"Not so fast."

"What?"

"Beg."

"Huh?" I said confused.

"Beg, it's the only cost you have to pay" She said waving the paper.

"... what do I have to do?" I mutter. There goes my pride.

"Get on your knees and beg. While you're at it say something like 'oh great Max, the goddess of beauty and shopping, who totally deserves Itachi, Sasori, and Deidara' yeah that sounds good"

I glared at her. _Do it for the shoes, do it for the shoes_. I thought to myself.

"Oh great Max! Goddess of beauty and shopping! Who totally deserves Itachi Sasori and Deidara!" I exclaimed.

"Good enough"

"ZETSU THE DINOSAUR!"

I looked over to my left to see Zetsu running as fast as his venus fly trap could take him. I later saw Linda running after him skipping holding a dinosaur costume, while Linda singed (screamed).

"ZETSU THE DINOSAUR!"

" **GET AWAY** , PLEASE!" The Zetsu's pleaded. I continued looking after them.

"Let's just go" I said getting up, Max nodded and walked with me to the cash register where my mom was waiting in line.

After ten minutes of waiting and using the coupons and the rewards card Max had. I was happier than I could ever be. EVER!

"All right" Max's mom said getting everyone together.

"Wait where did little guppy go?" Kisame asked looking around.

"HELP!" We all turned around to see Zetsu running out the doors with Linda trailing behind him.

"ZETSU THE DINOSAUR!" Linda screamed, she wasn't singing anymore, she was screaming.

Well that doesn't look satanic.

"Should we help him?" Diego asked. We looked at each other.

"Nah!" All of us call out.

* * *

 **Linda: ZETSU THE DINOSAUR.**

 **Zetsu went to the store, he turned out to be a real bore.**

 **So with the help of me. I chased him 'till he peed, running with a make over costume.**

 **AN: I'll see you Saturday! byyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeee!**


	25. A Bet

**Max: So like, Ana, Linda, and I went to Barns and Noble to get books. I got _Zodiac a novel_. Ana got a picture book of the Boruto (Naruto) thing…. she also got the Naruto character hand book. With the Akatsuki and shippuden characters. Linda got a Naruto picture book. **

**But what surprised me the most were the heights of the characters. Like, I'm 5'4. and Sasori's 5'4 1/2. I was expecting a higher number.**

 **Itachi's - 5'10**

 **Deidara's - 5'5**

 **Hey it's kinda good for me. They're all good heights to make out.**

 **Linda: What are you talking about?**

 **Max: Buildings…. let's go. I've wasted the readers time and it's time for them to read.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Linda**

I walked alongside my mom and Kakuzu. I was explaining a little more about Black Friday. Kakuzu had some questions about it.

"Wait" Kakuzu started "so Americans shop and fight for things they want, after a holiday they celebrated about being grateful?"

Mmm. Dude has a point.

"America, am I right?" Max laughed. Max was walking along, holding Itachi and Deidara's hand with Sasori closed behind. We were trying to get through a mob of people by the door.

"Finally, we're past the mob of people. Now, can you let go of my hand?" Deidara said sounding a little impatient.

"You know you could've disgusted her by licking her palm." Ana said stating the obvious.

"Ew no, I don't know where Max's hands have been" Deidara scrunched his face.

"You've been with me this entire time!" Max yelled.

"Still" he shrugged and let of Max's hand.

"Wouldn't have really worked" Pein muttered.

Itachi kept his hand being held, because he already knew how Max gets. Her arguing and sassiness, and how she'll have her way until she dies.

"I'll hold your hand" Tobi offered jumping around.

"NO!" Max snapped. She turned around and held onto Sasori's hand. He gave her a strong glare.

"What's wrong with you?" We all turned to look over at Hidan and Kisame.

"I'm disappointed" Hidan pouted. "Max said that people die and there's violence during this day."

"You're disappointed with anything that doesn't involve violence" Kakuzu said.

"That only happens in big cities where there are crazy bitches" Max informed him.

We continued walking around following Max. She is the Shopping Queen (or coupon queen) now. Her parents and and brother were in the back. Diego and Lucas went somewhere else before meeting up with us here. The Akatsuki ahead of them with us (my mom and my sister) walking next to the them. And Max Itachi and Sasori were in the front. I suddenly felt someone grab my hand. I looked over and got scared.

"Tobi, what are you doing?" I looked a little past him to see Ana glaring at him.

"You also looked lonely so I'm holding you and Ana-chan's hand." I looked over at my mom.

"Help" I plead. She rolled her eyes.

"What's _he_ gonna do?" I took a glance at Tobi remembering that he's Obito/ Madara ready to pop out. And he's really dangerous. HELP ME ME READERS!

* * *

We walked into a crafts that had a lot of things. Posters, writing supplies, cards, and other things. I was looking at the birthday humor cards. There was one in spanish with a cow conjugating.

'Moo, Yo moovo, tu mooves, el moove.'

Didn't Max tell this joke like a long time ago.

"Hey Linda" I looked up as Ana walked to me.

"Yeah?"

"Guess what I saw?" she smiled.

"What?"

"Guess!"

"What!?" I got impatient.

"Just guess!"

"What!" I yelled throwing the birthday card at her head.

"A guy in a hot dog suit" she laughed.

"Where?" I giggled.

"He walked past the store"

"And that's how I found out what a hemorrhoid was" I looked down to the other side.

Max walked up to us still holding Itachi and Sasori's hand.

"Why, why do you end your conversation with something fucked up?" Ana asked.

"It's better not to ask" Itachi sighed. Sasori nodded. I felt kinda bad for them.

Max released their hands and walked over to pick the card that I threw at Ana up. She scanned through it.

"The hell didn't I tell this joke?!" She raised her voice. I knew it.

"C'mon I found some quotes for you to make fun of" Ana called out to Max. They walked off with Sasori and Itachi following behind.

"Sup" I jumped and turned around. Hidan stood looking around at the cards.

"Did I really just scared you?"

"No…" I muttered, my face burning.

I put the card back to where I found it. Well, I just shoved it where ever. I glanced over at Hidan, he was whispering to himself.

"ten seconds" He finally said out loud.

"Huh?"

"Oh I was just thinking that it would take me ten seconds to kill everyone in the store with just a kuni. I would have liked to do it with my scythe, but I left it at Max's house" I backed away.

"Well I gotta… Ana!" I ran and turned the corner, on accident I bumped into a hard back.

"Why the hurry?" I grew red with embarrassed.

"Sorry" I apologized to Pein.

"What's wrong with you?" Kisame asked chuckling.

"Well Hidan was talk-"

"Ten seconds?" Konan interrupted.

"Yeah" I stammered.

"He's been saying stuff since he realized that there was no violence here" Kisame informed me putting a hand on my shoulder.

For a second I forgot that these were insane criminals. Guess they've been good boys (girl) lately. I heavily sighed.

* * *

"Please!" Ana whined.

"Just stop Ana, you're always begging for an iTunes card" I yelled at her.

We're currently at Best Buy and Ana ran to the iTunes cards (no surprise) and kept bugging me and my mom about it.

"I kinda want one too" Max pouted.

"Do you even have any money?" I asked the both of them.

"Ugh!" Ana groaned. Max continued pouting. Then a smirk formed on her face. Well this is gonna turn out bad.

"I know a guy" she snickered. Suddenly so called guy walked up to us.

"Kakuzu I need twentie bucks" Max blurted out.

"You get straight to it" Kakuzu said muttering to her.

"I'm straight forward like that, lot simpler" Max shrugged. "Anyways can I?"

"Why do you think I have money?"

"Well, 1) You're Kakuzu. 2) You're the treasurer of the Akatsuki. Plus (number 3) the only reason for you to live is for money." Max truthfully said. What, it's the truth. Kakuzu's eye twitch.

"Well if you know so much about me, you should know how money works for me"

"I'm not doing a bounty hunt" suddenly Max's face lit up. "A bet, how 'bout it?" Jeez Max, Kakuzu's not stupid to take a bet from you since you already won those card games.

"Fine." Well I'm glad that I kept that to myself instead of making a bet.

"Thanks for shopping" the cashier smiled.

"Thank _you_ " Max smiled back. Not out of politeness but of the bet. That's right ladies and gentleman. Max Chavez beat Kakuzu in a bet. We all had to stand between the two of them to prevent Kakuzu from brutally murdering her. Since she won… again. I stopped walking and looked around.

"What?" Deidara asked me.

"Hey, um" I bit my finger "where's-" my sentence was cut off by a scream. The alarms came on in the store.

"Everyone exit, now!" Someone yelled.

"... Hidan." I finished.

"Sup" I turned to my right to see Hidan standing casual. I noticed that he had blood on his finger tips. I grew dizzy and sick.

"C'mon" I felt Ana pull me.

We exited the store and walked out to the parking lot into the cold night (morning it was around two in the morning).

"I can't let him be the only one having fun. Let's show this place some art!" I heard Deidara exclaim from the back.

"Wait, what are you-?!"

"Katsu!" Deidara yelled cutting Max off. The rooftop of Best Buy exploded, pieces falling around us. My eye's rolled to the back of my head. I think I fainted because everything grew black. Well it is Black friday. No pun intended.

* * *

 **AN: SORRY IT'S LATE! I was suppose to post it around 3 but I had to go to this confermation thing that lasted ahout 5-6 hours. But whatever. I WILL SEE YOU TUESDAY!**

 **Ana: Mmmm? I like this book. You learn favorite foods of your favorite character or of other people. I wonder what would happen if I prepared a feast with everyone's least favorite food.**

 **I'll force Linda to drink milk and eat bacon. And with Max, well I'll tie her to a chair and force her asparagus. Then gagg her with yogurt... trix yogurt.**


	26. Founding Fathers

**Linda: Hello…. I'm just looking for Ana don't mind me. We've been playing hide and seek for a while now. Oh hey it's Max.**

 **Max: Oh hey.**

 **Linda: Have you seen Ana? We're playing hide and seek.**

 **Max: Um Linda. You know she's been in the tub watching Black Butler right?**

 **Linda…. what….. ANA!**

 **Ana: Damn it Max! You couldn't keep your mouth shut!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Max**

 _I could almost melt under his gaze._

" _We shouldn't be doing this" I whispered._

" _Says who?" He asked in his hush voice. I leaned for a kiss_.

"Max?'

Wait what the fuck. I groaned and looked around rubbing my eyes. Damn it, it was another dream, about the Akatsuki to be specific. About Sasori to be more specific. I looked up to see that I was staring at Tobi and his orange mask. I slowly glared at him, pissed that he woke me up and entered my room without permission. It doesn't matter if I'm awake or asleep. You Do Not Enter My Room.

"Tobi?" I slowly asked breathing through my mouth to show him how angry I was. If Tobi can take a hint.

"Yes?" He asked me in a cheerful tone.

"You're dead!" I hissed. He squeaked and ran out my room yelling. I threw back the covers and ran out chasing him out into the hallway.

"You have no idea what you did!" I called after him, referring to the dream.

"I'M SORRY!" He plead. I stop dead in my tracks. Slowly I looked over at the window to my left.

Pulling back the curtains I saw that it was brighter and whiter than yesterday. It… there was snow covering the entire scenery. From grass to rooftops, to the idea of killing myself because there will be the fear of slipping on ice. Damn you ice. I was able to walk out and not embarrass myself, then you show up. Wait where was I? What was I doing? Oh yeah.

"Tobi!" I yelled again.

"What did Tobi do this time?" I looked over at Konan who was reading a magazine that I left on the coffee table. Cosmo, I like that company.

"Well he went in my room. And two he, made me wake up from a very nice dream I was having" I said slightly distressed.

"And what was it about" Hidan asked not understanding my importance about dreams.

"Well… it was about…" I can't say it was about Sasori, just because they know I'm a perverted fangirl doesn't mean that I'm gonna say I had a dream about me and Sasori almost kissing.

"About food"

"About, food?"

"Yes" I nodded. I walked over to the kitchen and opened up the fridge to grab the milk.

I noticed a piece of paper that was being held up by a magnet. I lifted the magnet up and grabbed the paper to read it. It was just my mom telling me that I'd be left alone with our guest. But in other words (because I know how my mom gets) that I'd be left alone with criminal terrorist. I sighed and placed the note on the counter next to the fruit bowl.

"So Max the boy name. What are the plans for today?" Kisame asked getting up from the couch and walking over taking a seat across from me at the table.

"Well" I said ignoring the nickname he just gave me, "I don't really know. But now that I saw that it had snowed last night, maybe we can go out and play" I suggested taking the last swing at my glass of milk.

"Why would we be childish enough to play outside? Especially with you" Pein pointed out, insulting me in the process.

"Why are you four acting like uptight people?"

"Hey!" Hidan called out. "That was only Pein"

I got up from my spot to go yell at them in hopes that I convince them and not die in the process. But I sometimes forget about someone's abusive power with the teleporting jutsu.

"Ah we're here!" Ana exclaimed. "Good work Kakuzu"

I sighed and dragged myself to the six new people. I don't know why I sighed, nothin' like wakin' up to see my sexy trio in the morning.

"Sup" I greeted "why are you guys here?" I asked them taking a seat next to shirtless boy. Just to clarify it was Hidan. He had taken his cloak off (probably for some Jashin shit) and completely denied on putting it back on.

"There's snow outside, we're all gonna play a game of snowball fight" Linda said nodding after her sentence. She does that a few times.

"Well I guess it's a good time since no ones home"

"What about- oh.." Ana said stopping herself. "You mean responsible people." I shot her a glare.

"Go change to go out. And you Jashy (joshy) boy put your cloak on" Linda ordered. "Fine" Hidan and I both groaned.

I walked back into my room. After a minute of examining it, I grabbed a pair of skinny jeans off the floor and put a long sleeve shirt. I slipped on a thick coat and put some gloves on. I walked back to the Akatsuki and put my black boots on.

"Wait, what about them?" I asked Ana, pointing to the Akatsuki and there cloaks.

"They're ninjas, they'll be fine" she said slightly shooing her hand.

"Well she's not wrong" Zetsu said out loud. In return his comrades turned and glared at the plant man. Venus fly trap man? Whatever Zetsu is!

Let's go, was all Pein said before he walked out. I followed after (since I was closer to the door) stepping out. But I couldn't move well, the snow was around seven inches.

"Be careful Linda" I said looking back. "We might lose you" I smirked referring to how short she is.

"That's mean! You're a meanie!" Linda yelled, her voice slightly squeaking.

"What now?" Deidara asked as we all made it off the deck without dying.

"A snowball fight" I called out. "We just have to make teams" I mumbled trying to think through the teams.

We were a total of 13, but Kakuzu wasn't going to play. He's annoyed at two people and pissed at one, yours truly. So it'll be teams of six.

"Okay" I said at last. "I'll take myself Deidara, Sasori, Itachi, Hidan and Konan.

"What?! I want the blonde!" Ana yelled.

"Why?!" I yelled back glaring.

"Because what if he hides his clay in the snow" she yelled back

Sorry for yelling. The reason we're yelling was because we were on opposite sides of the yard. It's pretty big.

"Well he's my anime boyfriend. And what if he does that to me?!"

"You haven't had any problems with him! I need to ensure the safety of my life!"

"Okay fine! We get one person from each pair." Ana nodded in agreement. "Okay. You get Pein I get Konan. You get Kisame I get Itachi. You get Deidara I get Sasori. You get Hidan, and I take Tobi and Zetsu."

Ana nodded. "Wait!" She called out, "I only have five including myself."

"What about me?" Linda spoke out. Ana gave her a blank stare. "I forgot."

"You meanie!" Linda yelled, then kicked Ana in the shin and ran over to Konan for protection.

We were going to play the snowball fight in a point like game. Try not to get hit, and the team with their players most hit, loses. You don't know how **hard** it is to play against ninjas. I'm amazing at not getting hit. Put it hurts if I do, especially Hidan.

I ran to the fort that we made. We had Tobi go build it because of his jutsu of things not being able to penetrate through him. Ana and Linda were yelling at us, saying we were 'cheaters cheaters, pumpkin eaters'. I don't even like pumpkin.

Anyways, back to my war story. I looked over to my left to see a snowball coming towards me, almost slow motion. But I was also slow mode, so I couldn't move as fast. I heard the ball hit the ground. I looked up to see an emotionless not caring Sasori. My face grew redder than it was already.

"We have a record of no one getting hit, don't ruin it" was all he said before he let me go and walked away. I continued staring at the handsome puppet.

I ran past Sasori and up the stairs. I stood on top of the railing, on top! And at the top of my lungs I screamed;

"POINT SASORI! NOW LET THE LOVE GAME-" I screamed and face planted on the snow.

I groaned and turned to lay on my back, staring up at Kakuzu.

"What the hell?! Why did you kick me?!" I screamed.

"Mmm? I got revenge without killing you" that's all Kakuzu said before going back inside.

I slightly flinched when I got hit with a snowball. I looked up to see Deidara smiling at me. "Out" I melted under his gaze, even when he walked away.

Point Deidara.

* * *

My mother forced me and the rest of Akatsuki (and Ana and Linda) inside to warm up. In the time that we took off as much snow, she was going to make hot chocolate to heat us up faster. I sat cozily next to the artists. The sun was already setting as that was normal for winter, or soon to be winter.

"Here you go" My mother said as she handed out the last of the mugs.

"Hey Max? What's hot chocolate?" Itachi asked, smelling it. I nearly took a spit take. But failed and accidentally inhaled it, now I'm coughing.

"You've never had hot chocolate?" Linda asked, they all shook their heads no

"I shall tell you then" I said setting my cup down. (Get ready for a speech readers).

"Hot chocolate is the greatest thing that has come to this earth. It can be sweet, like really sweet, or semi sweet. It all started with our founding fathers. They sat one day wondering if tea and coffee would be the only thing they could drink?! Fearing, they called up Mexico for some cocoa beans to see what could be used. And thus they worked hard. Our Fathers working like always! Helping America, with even a simple drink! And thus the Hot chocolate was born!" I slightly panted out of breath.

The Akatsuki and the two girls stared at me in amazement. They probably knew that I was exaggerating but, meh. I don't want them to remember google.

"Can I have more?" Pein asked hesitant. I stood up and took a seat next to Pein, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"You can have as much as you want honey" Pein stared at me. "Get your hand off me now!" He snapped. "Yes sir!"

I jumped back to my seat. But who would've guessed that an obsession started today.

* * *

 **AN: Hey! see I kept my promise. Only on Tuesdays I get out of school later because of my club. On Thursdays it's early release. But I'll see you Thursday. Bye!**


	27. The Akatsuki Forget: We're Not Ninjas

**Ana: I hate this… well except the part where Max…. Oops no spoilers!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Thank you** _ **angel88441**_ **for following this story. And thank you** _ **Zalia**_ **for reviewing.**

* * *

 **Ana**

Blah, blah, blah. I don't want to hear it anymore. My mom, Max's mom. To be honest it was Linda's idea in the first place, I don't know why they're yelling at me.

I wiped my nose on the sleeve of my sweater. It was old and ripped so I didn't care.

"Here." Konan said handing the three of us mugs. "It'll make you feel better." Max was joining us at my house. I guess it's better to keep all the sick people in one place.

"Blah, I don't like tea" I mutter glaring at Linda as she was able to drink the hot tea with no problem, she likes tea.

"COULd you ha _nd_ me a tisSue?" Max asked Itachi. I coughed out laughing. Oh my god that never gets old.

Well I should take time to reflect on what happened. You see two days ago we went out to play in the snow, and only Max Linda and I got sick. Not the Akatsuki, nothing, not even the sniffles. But the thing I hate (and later loved) about being sick is the symptoms. I get a running nose, headache and stomachache. Linda gets a sore throat and tummy problems.

But Max's symptoms, Max being sick is like a story by itself. She probably has it worse, for her pride. Max gets a throat infection, watery eyes (a lot of sneezing too), and fever. But the only reason why being sick is awesome is hearing Max talk, priceless. Her voice cracks,sometimes, everytime she speaks it's something different. It can go from a boy going through puberty, or a homeless man (deep), to not even being able to speak! It gets all hoarse and raspy.

I stared at the blue mug with tea in it.

"I still don't understand how you could've gotten sick" Pein asked frowning. I shrugged.

"Yeah? I got it" Deidara said. "It's 'cause they suck" he said nodding. I glared at him. I wonder how far I can make this hot tea go?

"I just don't understand something?" Linda called out. "You guys were only wearing cloaks and ninja shoes. How come we got sick and you didn't?"

"Um, we're the fucking Akatsuki" Kisame said matter-of-factly. I rolled my eyes.

"Mmmm? I think they're just weak and lack strength in their immune system." Sasori pointed out looking up from a book. Fucking Sasori and his high vocabulary. SPEAK NORMAL MAN!

"It also might be the screaming with the cold hitting them" Itachi added. Fuckin' Itachi and his smart self…. dick.

I stared at the tea again. I didn't want to be rude to Konan and not drink it, but I really don't like tea. I looked over at Max (who also hates it) who was sipping it. She probably wants to heal her throat as soon as possible. For the sake of her dignity and pride, you know people making fun of her.

I took a breath, holding it in I sipped on the tea. And exhaled with my mouth.

"Maybe if you would've converted to the ways of Jashin, you wouldn't be in this mess" Hidan said in a way that reminded me of a mom scolding their child.

" **We** 're noT Con _vert_ ing!" Max tried yelling, her voice not only cracked, but it came out sounding like a homeless man.

"Pfft! HAHAHA!" I burst out laughing, Max glared at me and flicked me the bird. Who cares?

"I think it was karma" Kakuzu nodded, he probably meant for us annoying him in our own special ways.

Tobi fiercely shook head to the sides. "I think it's something else" He called out. "It's because there might be another ninja who wants revenge on us. And the closes thing was getting the three girls sick. And now they're slowly dying. And we have to save them with the power of _Love_. And just as they were getting better, **BAM**!" Tobi screamed. "The ninja comes out and things start falling apart. And we sacrifice ourselves for the love of our Lives!"

We all stared at Tobi for a good time.

"Tobi…" Pein started.

"That will never happen" Konan finished. "Everyone in the Akatsuki are romantically retarded."

Well Konan is not wrong.

"Guys, were not ninjas our bodies aren't-" Max stopped. The fun is over, "Holy shit my voice is back, sore but it's not a dying cat anymore!" Max exclaimed rubbing her neck.

"I do sometimes forget you aren't a ninja" Zetsu said.

" **So our tatic on eating you is different.** " The other Zetsu said.

"ZETSU THE DINOSOUR!" Linda yelled.

"Shut It!" I snapped rubbing my head as a headache was coming.

I narrowed my eyes to the mug in my hand. The steam was still coming up, it made my glasses foggy.

"Okay, but like, we could've been able to prevent this" Hidan asked the three of us. "WE'RE NOT CONVERTING!"

"We're not ninjas so there's not much reason to convert" Linda pointed out.

"It's to stay young forever."

"Hidan, who want to stay my age forever" Max called out, but slowly realized that her so called 'anime boyfriend' was a thirty-five year old man who looks fifteen or stop at aging at fifteen..

"People want to be around you and Itachi's age" I pointed out. Who wants to stay a kid when you can go out and drink legally.

"True" Konan sighed. I can tell Konan missed the young life, well she is technically young. She's only…. I almost said a woman's age. You should never tell or ask how old a woman is. Come back when you get permission.  
"So?" Sasori asked looking back over at Max. "What was that you were saying?"

"Sasori! Not all of us came out sexy by the time we were fifteen." Max retorted.

"Amen" I yelled.

* * *

 **AN: Those girls are something. Well see ya. Sorry for posting late. I have the horrible case of…**

… **procrastination. Not just here but in school too. BUT NO MATTER A NEW WEEK IS APPROACHING! I'll start fresh.**

 **Byeeeeeeee!**


	28. The Akatsuki Forget: We're Teen Girls

**Max:Hahaha! Oh man you guys are gonna love this! We should get popcorn together.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Disclaimer: Sorry to my boy readers. This chapter is girl problems, you can read it but just be prepared to be uncomfortable/disgusted.**

* * *

 **Linda**

I got up dragging my feet all the way to the bathroom. I got up to flush the toilet when I stopped and stared. Oh my…it seems that my problems have come today. A quote from Max's mom.

I grabbed a…problem napkin, from under the sink.

"GOD DAMN IT!" I heard Ana yell from the room next door. I see she has the problems too.

I peeked into my mom's room.

"Do you need new underwear?" I asked standing by the doorway.

"Yes please…" Ana muttered with embarrassment. I walked back to our room (hoping no one was sleeping) and opened the door walking to Ana's drawer.

I walked back to my mom's room and handed Ana the new clothes. Including a problem napkin. I walked to the kitchen to eat something.

"Yo?" Deidara called out. "What's with the yelling?"

"Yeah, you're distracting me from my money counting session" Kakuzu said annoyingly.

"I'm dealing with the problems and so is Ana. P.S be careful" I warned them, and went to go eat something.

"Oh" Itachi called out. "Is it that problem?" I slowly turned around.

 _How did he know?_

"What problem? There is so many problems. Mental problems, tax problems, oil problems, government problems, Max problems, and the list goes on!" I exclaimed putting a hand on my hip.

"No. The monthly problem…you know what it's not my place to bud in" Itachi said going back to read. Well, I guess he is too smart.

"What's up fuckers!" Max yelled as she entered the house.

"Was that necessary?" I asked her.

"Fuck you!"

I pouted my lips and frowned.

"That is not polite!"

"So where's Ana?" Kisame asked taking a chair from the table.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Ana yelled walking past the group and to the kitchen.

"Well damn Debbie downer" Hidan yelled. "What's up with you?"

"Well she's on-"

"LINDA!" Ana snapped. I shut my mouth.

"Oh I get it now" Max said smirking. She quickly grabbed the fruit loops and sat on the floor to watch the show unfold. I was about to join her, but I didn't want to risk staining my pants, unlike someone I know (Ana).

"You! Keep your mouth shut!" Ana screamed at Max.

"Oh now I get" Sasori nodded.

"How do you know?" I asked him.

"I work with puppets, humans. And yes, I do work with girls." He said sarcastically, well I think he was.

"Oh the hard part of being a woman" Konan sighed understanding.

"It's so cool to have another girl for us to learn from" Max said admiringly.

"Wait is it went it's…" Hidan trailed off trying to find a substitute for the word. "Uh, red times?" I nodded. "Man I had my own personal encounter. So I was with this girl and we were getting ready to fuck, when I see the bitch was…let's call it staining. So I'm like the fuck, but she's cool so we end up fucking and making a huge mess."

"Wait for it" Max said.

"Then I sacrificed her."

"There it is."

I stared disgustedly at Hidan. How messed up and creepy could he get (and his stories). You know what, I don't think that would be smart to answer. The rest of the Akatsuki nodded finally understanding. Well except Deidara and Tobi. I understood why Tobi, but Deidara?

"Wait, I don't get it?" Deidara innocently asked. We stared at him.

"You, seriously don't understand?" Pein asked in disappointment.

"Well jeez of course not! I joined the Akatsuki when I was around 12 years old. And the only female we have, was never around!" Deidara yelled defending his lack of knowledge. We all awkwardly look at each other to see who would ruin his childhood. I know he's technically an adult, but you can still ruin someone's childhood.

"I, Max, will give you the information you seek" Max said getting off the ground and sat down next to Deidara.

"I don't think I have ever worried of someone getting the wrong information" Kisame called out doing some self reflecting.

"Look Deidara, you know what sex is right?"

"Of course I'm not an idiot"

"Okay, do you know how babies are born?" Deidara nodded his head.

"Like know, know" Kakuzu clarified.

"Your jizz races to the girls egg when you fuck to make a baby" Hidan yelled cutting to the chase.

"Graphic as always…" Konan muttered, Hidan winked at her.

"Yes" Max continued. "So what do you think happened to us girls who aren't sexually active or if you are, not on a type of birth control?" Deidara shrugged.

"Every month or so, the uterus lining gets thicker to prepare for a fertilized egg if the woman becomes pregnant. If the egg doesn't get fertilized, that lining is released from the body as blood through the vagina." Itachi interrupted, getting straight to the point.

"This monthly process is called menstruation or a period." Sasori added.

Tobi slowly got up. He suddenly let out a piercing scream, that made all of us cringe. Tobi ran and locked himself into the bathroom as the poor boy was scarred. Deidara sat there starring at Ana and I in disgust.

"You too sure know a lot about this" Pein looked over at Itachi and Sasori. They shrugged.

"Do you get all that information from the books you read?" Kisame asked, examining the current book Itachi had. Which he glared at the shark man for.

"So do you get as bitchy as the rumors?" Hidan asked Ana smirking. Screw it! I don't care if I stain myself. I grabbed the fruit loops and sat on the floor next to Max and Deidara.

"I don't want to deal with all this" Ana said glaring at the Jashinist.

"Oh, what can't handle me?"

"Seriously Hidan! I'm not afraid to stick a spoon up your ass."

"Whatever bitch face" Hidan casually sat down. Ana face redden with anger.

"Way to make yourself look weak!" Deidara taunted. He's catching on. Ana shot him a glare at him, and at me. I didn't even do anything.

"Can I call you bloody marry?" Kisame asked.

"No" Surprisingly it was Max who answered. "That's my nickname, you'll just have to wait later"

"Oh My God! You are all so-"

"Jashin to you ma'am" Hidan corrected her. Ana stormed out the living room slamming the bedroom door hard. So hard that it rocked the house. Everyone slowly looked over at me.

"I don't get that way" I informed them. "I just look dumber, is what Ana tells me"

"And I go into weird phases" Max also told the group. "I was in a curious phase, normal phase, frustrated phase (almost wanted to cry), cleaning phases, cooking phase, mispronouncing words phase, a book phase. It just gets odd"  
We all nodded and stayed silent for a while.

"So how old are you guys?" Deidara asked.

"Enough to suffer!" Max yelled.

"I say Amen to that comment" I yelled out like a posh woman.

* * *

 **AN: Wow, that was something wasn't it. Aren't the Akatsuki and Max such good teachers!**

 **Well I'll leave you be, you're probably gonna have to take some time to reflect on the chapter. Sooo…**

 **Bye!**

 **Oh, I'm starting something called after hours. It's just a little bit of after the chapter. I won't do this with every chapter but most.**

 **No perspective- Narrative.**

* * *

 _ **After Hours:**_

"Wait" Deidara called out getting everyone's attention. "Didn't you end the previous chapter like that?"

"It's just a little continuation of that little _Akatsuki forget:,"_ Max said clarifying her work.

"I liked it" Linda said putting a piece of chicken in her mouth.

"Well that seems lazy" Kakuzu muttered into his cup of water. Max stuck her tongue out.

"Well it doesn't matter, especially now." Pein said. "Let's just move on"

Hidan cleared his throat, since he has a talent for reading. "Merry Akatsuki Christmas. Wow, really?"

"You are in no place to judge!" Max yelled. "Let's just go!"


	29. Merry Akatsuki Christmas

**Linda: This story…**

 **Well okay, the day was going smoothly and nice. And then we got to the presents…and things…well, they got a little rocky. So enjoy, I guess.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Max**

I stretched my arms and legs. I laid in my warm bed against the cold temperatures. It was a quiet Thursday Christmas Eve. The Jolly good mood.

Wait this is the wrong story. We're looking for Max's life. Oh Here it is okay.

I woke up in a grumpy mood. Everyone was talking loud, music playing, pans clicking together and on the stove. I groaned and turned to the other side. I pushed the curtain back with my foot. I laid there staring at the clear snow, it had snowed hard last night. It was a clear sky with no clouds only thin ones that passed every once in awhile.

I sighed and tucked my leg back in the covers. I heard a knock from my bedroom door. I closed my eyes, fake sleeping was an instinct I developed, the door swung open.

"Max get up Mom and Dad said to eat then clean" Diego ordered before closing the door.

"Fuck my life" I muttered. I groaned one last time before putting on my socks. I got up putting my slippers on, I was a little cold.

I walked out into the living room. I was greeted by Tobi who was being choked by Deidara with a head lock. Itachi was reading a book I gave him. Sasori was watching T.V and Kakuzu was counting money. Big surprise. I frowned at them.

"Why is Tobi here?" I asked them, mostly Deidara.

"That's why he's in that situation" Sasori answered me. I nodded understanding.

"Max help…me" Tobi coughed out.

"Yeah let me just eat breakfast then I'll help you" I spoke to him like he was five. Which he probably was.

"Oh thank you" he said wearily. Then Tobi grew quiet. I stared, I don't know if he was being patient or Deidara knocked him out. Either way as long as he's quiet I'm good with either way.

I walked back to my room after eating some breakfast. I cleaned my room. After I was done doing that I had to help my Dad with the living room, outside. And telling the Akatsuki to not get in my mom's way because she's in the cooking zone. And nobody got time for that.

I went back to my room to wrap up Christmas present. Lucas was my helper. But he's not here anymore, oh well.

"Max start getting dress" my Dad said while he was doing some clean up that my mom left from cooking.

In my room I undressed and put my robe on. Then walked to the bathroom. After showering I curled my hair. Well I made it look wavy. I existed out and went to my room to get dress.  
I put on my underwear (that means bra, socks and panties) then some new black tights. Over them I put some black shorts and my Okay sweater. It's a white sweater that has the word okay in black. I decided to go with my ankle black leather boots with the red laces. I walked out into the living room.

"Heyyy, you guys are here" I greeted Pein, Konan, Kisame, Hidan, and Ana and Linda.

"Merry Christmas Eve" I added.

"Why is it called Merry Christmas instead of Happy Christmas" Linda asked me.

"Cuz life" I answered taking a seat between Hidan and Itachi.

"Oh that reminds me I left the presents in the car, c'mon Linda help me get them" Ana stood up and walked out with Linda following behind.

I soon realized what was missing from the Christmas tree. Which if I say so myself looks really good. I stood up.

"I'll be right back" I called out to the Akatsuki, which I doubt they were listening or bothered to care.

I ran and got a Big, Big bag that had presents in them. I walked out into the living room organizing the presents under the tree making them look pretty. FYI there were a total of 17 presents under there. Well from what I knew, at the moment. After putting 5 more present under (from Ana and Linda) I was finally able to get something to drink.

"Hey, you, you wanna play a game?" I smirked to Deidara. He stared at me trying to figure me out.

"What kind of game" Deidara asked me carefully.

"Flippy cup."

For those of you who don't know what Flippy Cup is, it's a game where you get four cups or more or less depending on how many players there are. You pour half an inch (or not fill the whole cup, there's no limit. You alcoholics) of alcohol in the cup. When the game starts you drink then try to flip it so the cup lands upside down. After explaining that to Deidara he accepted my request. Only thing was we had to use soda.

"You ready" I asked him not trying to mock him. I only laid two cups out to start off nice and easy.

"Yeah" he smiled right back. God he's so sexy!

"Go" I yelled. And as fast but carefully I drink and flip, drink and flip.

"Time!" I yelled. Deidara barely got it without the cup tipping.

"We're not even timing" he yelled confused.

"It's how I let people know that I'm done."

"Why don't you just say 'I win" Hidan asked. Everyone began to show interest in our 'little' game.

"Because what if I yelled that and I don't win. I don't want to look like a loser" I scoffed. Hidan considered that for a moment.

After playing two rounds with Deidara, three with Hidan, four with Ana. Which she kept trying until she won which was never going to happen. Before she could go on forever my mom called out that it was time to eat. I hadn't realized how long we played it was about 8:15 pm. After everyone was served we did a _very_ quick prayer(don't want to die from Hidan) and began eating.

"Oh god" I muttered.

"What" Sasori asked me. He was sitting on my left.

"I realized that I got a little full with drinking a lot of soda." I chuckled. Sasori just rolled his eyes. He was sipping on some high quality wine.

Just because he's a puppet and it's unnecessary to eat, doesn't mean he can't drink a little bit of alcohol. Just saying if that's what you're thinking.

* * *

"Tobi likes this song!" Most of us (that could fit) were sitting in the living room. Tobi was sitting on the floor close to the stereo that was playing Christmas music on Pandora.

"What time is it" Zetsu asked me. I looked over to the clock.

"10:58 pm."

"When are we opening presents" Hidan seemed anxious. Linda and Ana nodded in agreement.

"Midnight" I sipped on the sparkling grape cider. That shits good.

"What do we do in the meantime" Konan asked. I thought for a moment. Then I looked over at Ana.

"Hey what do we usually do?"  
She glanced at the Akatsuki then at me then she blinked. I see, eye talking. We would talk about the Akatsuki and Naruto and…Sasuke….We all sat there for a really long time.

"Ah screw this" I jumped up. Luckily my cup was empty so I didn't spill anything.

"We're just gonna do this early" I yelled.

"What" Linda asked me.

"Opens presents duh… anyways" I made my way to the tree.

"These are all from me, I used the money that I won from Kakuzu to buy them" I smiled.

"Cheated" Kakuzu muttered under his breath.

I brought the presents out from under the tree and got started. I separated the Akatsuki presents from the rest.

"All right" I picked up a medium size box.

"This one's for Tobi" I threw him his present.

"This one's… for Kisame, Merry-" Before I could finish my sentence a loud pitched squeal interrupted.

"It's so cute!" Tobi yelled holding the big teddy bear. He jumped and ran to hug me. I barely managed to throw Kisame his gift before it was crushed. After prying Tobi off I continued.

"Zetsu" I handed him a beautiful Orchid with rare flowers around. "Thank you" he smiled.

"Heh, Kakuzu your present" I snickered. He opened it.

"You know the perfect present" Kakuzu nodded at me in an approving way. Hidan took a glance.  
"Money!" He yelled.  
"Yea" I laughed. "Oh".  
I grabbed a random bow and sticked it on my shirt. And sat beside Hidan. He stared at me.

"You're not my present right, your not gonna kiss me right?" he seem uncomfortable.

"Nah" I dismissed it. Leaning close I cupped my hands around my mouth.

After whispering his present I leaned back and watched. Hidan sat there, a slow smirk formed on his face.

"Really?"

"Yea" I stood up to continue giving presents out. Everyone stared from Hidan to me to him, trying to figure what just had happen. I picked two presents up and headed over to Pein and Konan.

"Merry Christmas Konan" I handed her, her gift. It was a thick book on Origami, you can make birds, dogs, to elephants.

"Thank you" she smiled at me. I handed Pein his, as he was slowly opening it I explained before hand.

"You see I thought to myself, why is the great leader of the great organization drinking from any other mug, and I'm not. So that's where I got the idea for your present. Enjoy and Merry Christmas." I smiled mischievously.

Inside the box were three mugs. One of them was black with red letters that read, _'Akatsuki'_ another mug was white with orange letters the read, _'Pein'_ and the third one was a white mug with black letters in cap that read, _'I'm A Boss Ass Bitch'_.

"Nice" I heard someone say.

I walked and picked Deidara's present. It was a sketch book with a note I taped on it.

"Really?" he asked, I smiled and nodded. I looked over at Itachi. I quickly walked to the fridge and pulled a white box out with a purple ribbon. I handed it to him.

"Little birdie told me you like sweets." I spoke softly. Inside the box was two bars of Hershey's chocolate bar, six total pieces of Ferrero Rocher. Three cocoanut and the other three chocolate. On the middle was a divider that separated the candy from the two sticks of sweet dangos. Itachi had a faint smile.

"Thank you" he thanked me closing the lid. I smiled back. I got Sasori's present it, was thin and long. He opened it up. It was a sketch pad that had measurements specifically for puppet making. Next to it was a thick book of 'Puppets around the world, Old Age to Modern era'. Sasori had a faint smile.

"Thanks". There was only one box left. I tossed it to Ana and Linda.

"Both of your presents are in there." They both fought on who was going to rip the wrapping paper.

After doing that, I had given Ana a $30 iTunes card, and to Linda I gave her a cute stuffed pig with a blue bow on its left ear. My parents already exchanged present with Ana's mom and my brother and myself. I bought myself a present too but shhh.

"Here, it's from me and Mommy" Linda handed Ana a medium sized box.

"Thanks" she said slowly as if there were a bomb in the box. Once she opened it her expression changed. "Holy shit" she spoke out. It was a $100 iTunes card with some new Nike shoes and a sweater also headphones. I grew pissed.

"It's so you don't nag us of your stupid cards!" Linda lectured her. I felt my eye twitch.

"Holy crap, this is so much better than Max's present…no offense."

"Taking offense" I muttered coldly.

This can't happen I'm the best of the best I won't be beat by such a child.

"Max are you alright" I heard Konan's voice. I jumped from where I was sitting.

"I will not lose to such child" I yelled.

"And what are you going to do" Pein asked. I stood there, suddenly an evil idea came.

"I'll be killing two birds with one stone" I may have looked insane.

I slowly sat down resting my arms on the arm rest. I straightened my back and crossed my legs. Finally I said it those words that shook everything. That brought the present. My win.

* * *

 _ **After Hours:**_

"What" Max muttered feeling small.

"I forgot about that stupid incident" Pein said glaring at the black haired girl, the one with hazel eyes.

"Oh…"

"I forgot about that thing that I wanted to kill you for" Deidara slowly said.

"Let's just move on!" Kisame said getting excited again.

Hidan cleared his throat. "Special Guest. Really?"

"Shut up!" Max whimpered.


	30. Special Guest

**Max: So what if I messed up a little. You can't blame me if I'm competitive. It's something you have to deal with.**

 **Linda: I didn't even see it as a competition.**

 **Max: Whatever, it's in the past now.**

 **Ana:…**

 **Max: Ahhh! Yes, she's Broken at the moment.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Ana**

I sat there like if I was paralyzed. I stared not believing what I was witnessing. As if my eyes were lying because there stood my supposed present. Yes this present beats anything that I'll get in forever. I've been asking Max to see if she could get him. But she 'sarcastic comment' the Akatsuki. And that's why it wouldn't work.

Max stood up keeping that snarky grin on her face. She took off her present bow and put it on Sasuke. Then she stood on her tippy toes and gave Sasuke a kiss on the cheek and returned to her seat.

At least he wasn't wearing the Akatsuki cloak.

"What have you done?" Pein asked slowly scary and cold. But he already knew what she did.

"Max" Konan had this scary mother tone. Max ignored them.

"Welcome, you are probably very, very confused. Which I don't blame you" Sasuke slightly trembled realizing that the people who should be dead are alive. Especially Deidara and Itachi. Sasuke slowly reached for his sword.

"I don't recommend that" Max spoke already ahead of the situation. "Man I should have bet on this. And I don't recommend you guys either" She addressed the Akatsuki. Max cleared her throat and stood up. "Hello, let's get straight to the point, you already know this but still" she shrugged. "This is Pein, leader of Akatsuki, this is Konan pretty much like another leader I don't know, that's Zetsu, that's Tobi, that's Itachi which you know of course, that's Kisame which you should remember, that's Deidara which you know, Sasori, that's Hidan, and Kakuzu." Max looked over at us. "The younger smaller looking one is Linda, and that one is Ana." She pointed to me. Sasuke looked over I looked away so he wouldn't see me blush. Max introduced her parents. Who were far from happy.

"And you can call me Max" she winked.

"Isn't that a boy's name?" Sasuke asked, speaking for the first time. Max's eye twitched. She pulled a chair out and had Sasuke sit. Max tried explaining the situation. How he wasn't real and how he was from an anime show. And also why everything looks different and more modern. I didn't want to participate.

"So any questions? Today's Christmas, want something to drink" Sasuke stared at her like if she was insane, which she is.

"Max" I said getting up and walking to them. "I don't think it's appropriate to offer him a drink at this time" Max just rolled her eyes. "Well it doesn't matter at the moment. So what now?" I asked looking around.

Everyone kept quiet, not knowing how to deal with this mess. So for Pein to think better, he has us all go to the dinning table for a meeting. I think that's why he likes Max's house better. Yup, it's the long table. Pein was at the end with Konan, while the rest of the Akatsuki sat by their partners. Well, Max sat between the two Uchiha's, which made things slightly awkward or a lot.

"Okay, it seems that Max acted childish after being beaten at not getting someone the best present. Then wished Sasuke here."

"Wait…you wished me?" Sasuke asked wide eye.

"She wished is too" Sasori muttered.

"No I didn't!" Here we go. "I wished Sasuke, but you guys were a sarcastic comment."

"Shut it!" The entire Akatsuki yelled. Max pouted in her seat.

"So now what do we do? Even then what use is a plan gonna do." Konan stated looking around at everyone.

"I just wished Max would have introduced Ana better. Something like;

"Hey Sasuke, this is Ana she's also your-"  
I smacked my hand over Linda's mouth as hard as I could. "Shut it." Was all I said in her ear. She tried screaming for help, but it got muffled with my hand. "You say something, I tell Sasuke that you have feelings for his brother."

"You're mean!" Linda cried out pushing my hand away.

"Hey, Max it's almost twelve" Hidan said. Max looked over at the clock and nodded. She stood up and started walking towards the door with Hidan.

"Where are you going?" I asked Max frowning.

"Don't worry about it" she said giving me a smirk. "We'll be right back…" she walked out the door with Hidan following behind. I stared. Her eyes looked different than usual.

I've seen her evil looked before, but this one was crying out 'Kill'. Whatever, I know she has everything wrong with her. But common sense. And you're sitting there not believing me. But it's because the Akatsuki are a bad influence.  
I shrugged and sat back down. I looked forward and tensed up. Well, I think I just found an explanation on what awkward is.

* * *

 _ **After Hours:**_

"Ah! So glad you could join us!" Max happily said.

The Akatsuki turned to stare at Sasuke who was sitting at the end of the table. Well Deidara was glaring at Sasuke.

"Oh" the waitress stopped and stared. "Would you like me to add in an order?"

"Yeah, let's just start him off with water." Linda suggested ordering for Sasuke.

How could one forget, the Akatsuki (and Sasuke, and the three fangirls) do after hours in a restaurant. In a diner. In the middle of nowhere. But great food!

Hidan cleared his throat. "Partners in Crime.…"

"What?" Kisame asked staring at Max.

"Let's just go to the story."

"Oh I remember this story" Ana tapped her chin. "Max got it."

"Well let's not waste time." Itachi said.


	31. Partners in Crime

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Linda**

Man, isn't that such an awkward position. You're sitting next to the man who killed your family, then kill him. And suddenly he did all that with the intention to protect you.

Remember how Max was sitting between Sasuke and Itachi? Yeah, now that she's not there it's just an empty seat between them. Which makes things _way_ more awkward than it has to be. I'm just saying.

Kisame read the situation and took that empty seat between the two.

"Why'd you take the seat?" Deidara asked, looking suspicious.

"Um duh Deidara." I said. "It's obvious, it got really awkward."

"Your a lot cockier than usual" Kakuzu noted raising an eyebrow. I shrugged.

"I made some hot chocolate" Max's mother called out. "Would you like me to put it in your knew mug…Pein?"

"Yes, thank you"

"It's funny how you tried to sound manly about that" Zetsu snorted. Pein glared at him and turned his attention back to the hot chocolate.

I carefully sipped the hot beverage. I looked over and saw Sasuke staring at the cup. Where's Max when you need her to make that hot chocolate speech. On cue, the front door swung open and slam shut. I jumped (startled) when I heard a dish crash to the floor.

I gasped and stared wide eye. Hidan and Max came through the door panting. But not only panting but…they were covered…in _blood_. Yup, you're still reading the same story. They're covered in blood. Oh, could this day get any better?

"Maxine Chavez, what the hell is the meaning of this" Ana yelled jumping up from her seat. I followed after staring at the bloody pair who sat down.

"Nothing, nothing, why do you ask such a question?" Max waved her off. I shook my head side to side in disappointment.

"You have three to explain!" Max's mom screamed fast walking to Hidan and Max. Ana and I moved to the side to not hear this part.

Max's parent went all out on lecturing Max. Even her brother ("it was only a matter of time before you did something as deranged and crazy, like them"). I continued staring at Max who still seemed unphased. I wonder if she knows that she just ruin a nice white sweater. I sat down next to them to hear their side of the story.

"Look, to be honest, I didn't kill anyone" Max clarified. "Hidan just so happen to kill some people near me and their blood stained me."

"What about that one guy?" Hidan asked "Or that screaming bitch, the bitch was screaming too much. Or what about that-?"

"Okay! So I killed some people, whatever! So what did we miss?"

"Just hot chocolate" Kisame informed them. "And a new obsession that Pein has _on_ hot chocolate."

"It was only a matter of time" I said.

"So let me get this straight." Kakuzu tried getting everyone's attention and trying to figure out what happened. "Your Christmas present to Hidan was…?"

"A killing spree."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Yup you guys were right, they're both mental." Kakuzu stated losing hope, well not like he ever had hope.

"That's why your my best friend, _and_ partner in crime" Hidan smirked.

We all slowly started calming down, with both incidents. The Sasuke and killing spree. Speaking of Sasuke, I was getting bored, so why not let the man know that Ana liked him. I mean Itachi knew that I was a fangirl, why couldn't Sasuke know.

"Kisame grab her!" I yelled at Kisame to grab Ana. He shrugged and did as I told him. I skipped over to Sasuke with Ana yelling in the background. "Hey Sasuke, you actually have your very own fangirl here. My sister Ana she's so crazy about you that she-"

"OUCH!" I looked over to see Ana stomping over to me. "Kisame why'd you let go?!"

"She bit me!" I ran to the door (my only escape) but Hidan yelled that it wasn't a good idea.

After swinging the door open I screamed. There was a dead body laying there, all dead. To make matters worse, Ana tackled me and I face planted in a pool of blood and corpse. I screamed again…and threw up with the smell. This is probably one of _the_ worst Christmas ever.

* * *

 _ **After Hours:**_

"Short but interesting" Kisame nodded. "And how did I forget that you bit me?"

"I don't know?" Ana shrugged. "How did I forge what Linda did?"

"Can I just get the tomato salad?" Sasuke ordered. The waitress nodded and went to go get that in.

"So how exactly was that your favorite?" Pein asked Hidan about his favorite present.

"There's one that topped this. But no spoilers."

"Well I'll read" Linda cleared her throat. "Netflix and Chill… your weird."


	32. Whore

**AN: Sorry for not being here, this week has been busy and just a big deal. I'm in speech club (readers theater, acting) and this week we had a district competition and then Tuesday practice,**

 **Thursday rehearsal, Friday Home show.**

 **Well anyways, I just wanted to clarifi why I haven't posted. Oh and I do realize that we skipped Max's perspective, I'm aware of that. The chapter I planned was too stupid and wasn't working out. So I skipped straight to Ana's. PS. WE'RE (I'm) GOING TO STATE!**

 **Well I'll leave you all to the interesting story.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Ana**

You guys should know something about our dear Max, that makes her as perverted as she is now. So let's start from the beginning. What happens when you're a sick minded fangirl, and you decide to explore the world of anime? You meet new characters. And who is apart of that group? Sexy. Anime. Boys! Like what the fuck (this is where I rant…kinda), every good looking boy that Max sees in a show, ends up on her list.

So when you have a big group of 'anime boyfriends' what do you do? You grab a notebook and write a whole list, and that list keeps growing. Max has like 25! I robbed her notebook, let me read you all the boys she has on the list.

 _Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, Madara, Neji, some filler Hottie, Utakata, Yagura, Tonari [Naruto],Sebastian M, Ciel P [Black Butler], Tsubaki, Azusa [Brothers Conflict], Rin [Free!] some random people, Lucifer [The Devil Is A Part Timer], Tokiya I. [Uta No Prince-Sama]._

And that's all I know. You see this came up in a conversation the three of us had with the Akatsuki. Anything weird comes up in a conversation with the Akatsuki.

"Man, I'm telling you that's a long list of teas you like" Konan said raising her eyebrow. Linda made a list of teas she liked, hoping that one of the members would make her some, since they drink tea in Naruto. And sake, tea and sake 24/7.

"My list is still bigger" Max said peeking over.

"Why do you take everything like it's a competition?" Hidan asked looking over at her. "You sound like a dude comparing his dick with every one, mines bigger." Max looked away pouting.

"But she is correct" I defended. "She has a long list of what her anime boyfriends are or lovers."

"So there's more than the three of us?" Deidara asked looking astonished. "It seems so" Sasori sighed.

"Oh yeah!" Max laughed. "You know what Ana? I'm gonna let you have the honors of explaining something."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." I cleared my throat. "Well you guys know Max watches her programs." The Akatsuki nodded their heads understanding. "Well in almost every anime or manga, when we're out looking at books. She has someone to add to her list. Itachi Sasori and Deidara, you guys are her fake de- fake anime boyfriends." I was barely able to cover up the dead part. "And everyone else is a lover, someone she wants to claims."

The Akatsuki and Sasuke (he came back from the bathroom) turned and stared at Max. Max nodded her head in an approving way.

"Good job Ana, you didn't mess up!" Linda congratulated me, I think that's a first. Usually when she does congratulate me, she's being sarcastic.

"Wow! Tobi thinks Max-chan is kind of a whore" Tobi pointed out.

I let out a short snort of laughter. I looked over at Max who had her mouth hanging open.

"Tobi?"

"Yes?"

"I'll have you know, I am not a whore" Max said trying to hold back the urge to scream.

"Mmm? I beg to differ." Tobi is really pushing it. Max was about to charge at him before Kisame spoke up.

"Hey, leave the little guy alone whore." Kisame bit on his lip, trying not to smile (in which he's failing at). Tobi let out a lot of giggles.

"Did I miss something?"

I looked over at Sasuke who had pulled a chair out and took a seat next to us.

"Don't worry about it" Max interrupted.

"See don't worry about it" Hidan nodded at Max. "It's okay to be a whore!" Max eye twitched.

I couldn't help but laugh. I looked over at Deidara who seemed deep in thought. "What's up with you?" I asked him.

"So, the three of us are fake wanna be boyfriends?" I nodded "while the rest of the 20 something is just Max not wanting another woman to look at them." I nodded some more. Deidara continued staring at me.

"Is it just her or do you two have a list?" Zetsu asked the both of us.

"Max has a problem, we don't do that." Linda answered.

"I don't have a problem" Max mumbled. "At least they're fake and I'm not really dating them. Well except you three." She pointed to her trio. "You three watch out." She said smirking.

"See!" Tobi yelled. "I told you she was a whore…whatever whore mean…"

Max suddenly jumped over the couch and dived at Tobi trying to hurt him. But when she tried to punch him he did the jutsu where you go through his body. And Max ended up hitting the floor, hurting herself.

Ignoring that I looked back over at the t.v. Linda connect the phone to the t.v, so now we're all watching _Boys over Flowers,_ or _flowers over boys?_ I don't know, 'cause I don't care. It's a Korean dramas that Max got Linda into. God they're so weird.

* * *

 **Max:... … I am not okay.**

 **Ana: She lost… she's broken.**

 **Linda: It was sad… but Max is just a hot mess.**

 **AN: Sorry it's short**


	33. MLK Day

**Linda: It's February!**

 **Max: This month is the only month where I** **hate** **it, and** **love** **it.**

 **Ana: Why?**

 **Max: The Super Bowl (love) and Valentine's Day (hate).**

 **Linda: Is it because you're single?**

 **Ana: No it's because one Valentine's Day she tried telling her crush that she liked him. And it ended badly, for her.**

 **Max:… fuck you guys.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. By the way, the story/chapter is a little behind than real time. And the Akatsuki don't talk much. Thank You! the wind in the eaves for liking my story! Thank You! bitdiddle for reviewing and liking my story!**

* * *

 **Linda**

I'm not as dumb as you think I am. Well, this chapter doesn't really help my case does it?

 **1 hour earlier**

"I hate my homework" Ana complained the minute we walked in Max's house.

"Why? What do you have to do?" Max asked setting her book down.

"This Monday, the day we don't have school, I have to _try_ to be nice for the whole day."

"Wait, why?" I asked Ana, taking a seat next to Itachi and Max.

"'Cause Monday is Martin Luther King Jr. Day."

I slowly nodded. I already know Ana's gonna fail. She's so mean to me, always gets mad, and has bad manners. The only way to get her to act 'good' is to bribe her or take her iPod away. And that trick only last for about 30 minutes.

"Okay? I don't see a problem, being good is so easy." Max said not understanding why Ana's homework was 'hard'.

"It's hard for me!" Max rolled her eyes.

The Akatsuki looked back and forward at us confused. "We're talking about American history." I informed them. "I'll tell you guys later."

"Do _you_ even know what MLK day is about?" Max asked, looking skeptically at me. I nodded. "Okay, what is it?"

"Um?" -I hesitated- "Martin Luther saved the black people from the white people."

"Well, that's kinda true" Ana gave me a weird glance. "What went down?"

"There were secret messages in a song"

"That's for slavery" Max corrected me. Oh yeah. "Ana what do you think happened?"

"Shit happened man" Max faced palmed herself. I don't think this is going as planned.

"Why do you think he was so memorable to have a day?" Max asked looking at the both of us.

"Because he saved the black people from the white people!" I exclaimed.

"I have no idea what you three are talking about. But that answer sounds wrong" Pein said.

"And the Mexicans" Ana added.

"He did not help the Mexicans" I corrected Ana. "That was Cesar Chavez!"

Max gave out a heavy sighed and turned to look at the Akatsuki and Sasuke. "Ignore them. MLK day is a celebration for a civil rights leader, Martin Luther King, who peacefully protested against inequality among White and Black Americans. Like Linda said, not all white people were racist (not all black people wanted a change, for fearing of getting hurt), but a majority were."

"Like President Kennedy!" Ana shouted.

"Who's that ?" I asked her.

"The one that got shot" Ana said, Max's eye twitched.

"I don't know any presidents… only one"

"Is it Obama?" Ana guessed. I nodded my head.

"What about George Washington?" Max asked me, not looking so mad.

"Isn't the he on the dollar?" I asked remembering that some presidents were on the dollar bills. She nodded.

"Do you know Abraham Lincoln?" I nodded. "Bill Clinton?" I shook my head to the sides.

"Donald Trump?" Ana asked. "Shut the Fuck Up!" Max yelled. "You seriously didn't learn this?!"

"Yeah… I just forgot" I mumbled.

"Okay! Who is Martin Luther King?"

"… was he a president?" I asked.

"No…. Martin Luther King… was not a president. I JUST TOLD THE AKATSUKI!" Max yelled at me.

"Was his father a president?"

"His father was a doctor!" Ana corrected me.

"His Father was a PASTOR!" Max corrected Ana.

"oh fuck" Ana muttered. "Well do you know his famous speech?'

"Uh?"

"The 'I have a dream'"

"Oh yeah!" I said happily. " The I have a dream, I have a dream to have Tacos!"

The Akatsuki and Sasuke and Ana and Max stared at me.

"How old are you?" Sasuke asked me.

"I'm 12!" Sasuke looked over at Ana. "Don't look at me I don't know what went wrong. We all learned this in the third grade" Ana answered.

After staring at me for a good five minutes they all gradually went back to what they were doing.

"You know you're one of the biggest dumbassess I know right?" Hidan asked me.

"Hey!" Kisame yelled. "My Little Guppy might be a dumbass, but you have more respect.

"Yeah!" -then I realized something- "I am not you little guppy!"

"You are now!"

"I don't want to!" I whined.

"To bad" Kisame snorted and leaned back in his chair. I slightly whimpered and slouched in the couch.

"But I was right. He did save the black people from the white people."

"Oh Shut The Fuck Up!" Max yelled throwing her book at me.

"OW!"

* * *

 _ **After Hours:**_

"Wow, you were such a dumbass" Kakuzu pointed out. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Hey!" Linda called out in offense. "Ana!"

"After that I am not you sister" Ana casually took a drink.

"Holy shit!" Max called out. "I for got, in two chapters, it's when-"

"Shut it!" Tobi yelled. "Don't Spoiler; Don't skip." Tobi held his finger to Max's lips. "Shhhhhhh…."

"That's not weird" Deidara eyed them weirdly.


	34. Peanut Butter Jelly Time!

**Linda: Hahahahaha! Max was babysitting, and she thought that the baby could crawl, haha! And the baby landed on its face!**

 **Don't worry, it was on a bed. It was just so funny, you had to be there!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. Thank you! , for following this story.**

* * *

 **Max**

It was April 2, 2016. The weather was warming up, no clouds in the sky. The temperature was around high sixties. A good day, lots of things happening on this date. National Peanut Butter and Jelly day, Hidan's birthday, and the day we dig a box up. That box was dug into the ground two years ago. Left with letters to our future selves. Today's the day to get it out. Let's go!

I was currently focused on making peanut butter sandwiches, ten of them and four extras. I'm not dumb like Linda, I gave everyone a sample before I got to work. The only people who didn't like it was Kakuzu, Sasuke, and Deidara. Whatever, their loss. I slammed the last bread on the bottom one.

"Done!" I called out.

"Sweet! Let's have a bite of this bad girl!" Kisame said coming into the kitchen.

"Stop!" I yelled "We're all going to eat the sandwiches when we get to Ana's house!"

"Why my house?" Ana asked looking up from playing go fish with Deidara.

"Today is the day that we dig up the box! I told you yesterday!" I yelled at her. She nodded her head remembering.

"Fuck, why are you guys yelling!" Hidan asked groaning and sitting up. "Plans" I called out.

I finished putting each sandwich in their own bag. I looked around the house trying to find something to put the bags in, to carry. After a few minutes I just gave up and put them in a Walmart bag. I walked into the living room and sat next to Hidan. "Happy Birthday!" I congratulated him.

"You're still doing that?" Zetsu asked me. I've been celebrating the Akatsuki's birthdays. Konan (February) and last month I gave Kisame some sushi.

"Yes I am!" I announced to everyone, they all groaned.

"Let's go, I wanna eat!" Tobi whined. "Fine" I muttered.

I told everyone that I wanted us to walk over there. It's such a nice day for a picnic. But everyone was lazy and they _left_ me at the house. After walking for about ten minutes, maybe less, I made it to Ana's house. I found the Akatsuki and Sasuke circling around Ana and Linda as they were digging.

I left the bag on the steps and walked over to them.

"So how was your walk?" Tobi asked me, rocking back and forward on his feet.

"Shut it!" I snapped. I made my way over to the girls where the hole was.

It didn't take us that long to dig up the pink and white box. We left it on the ground and took a sandwich. Hidan sat next to me and leaned in close to my ear.

"Do I get a present?" He whispered. I have a feeling he's talking about the present I gave him on Christmas.

"Sorry Hidan, it's only that sandwich."

"So…why are we eating this today?" Itachi asked.

"Because it's National Peanut Butter and Jelly day!" I laughed.

That's when I noticed that Itachi had a little jelly stain on his lip. I gulped. I wonder what chance I have of being killed by him and Linda if I walked up to him, and licked it off him. I slowly got up only to see… that it was gone! I stared blinking.

"Are you a mind reader?" I asked, Itachi shrugged. I huffed and sat down.

Why are you looking at me like that? I'm not weird. So what I was about to do something that sounds kinky. I have Itachi (Sasori and Deidara) all here…forever!

"So are you ready to open this up?" Linda asked me. I nodded and grabbed my letter. Let's see.

 _Dear Max_

 _Sup girl! I don't know what to write. I just finished reading a good fanfiction on Itachi. Man, that guy is the love of my life.-_

So does this take place before I knew about Sasori and Deidara?

 _I forgot that Sasuke had an older brother. Itachi._

I read a couple more lines. It was just me describing my liking to the bad boy. But I stopped, wide eyed at the sentence after that. It was something that I had forgotten.

"What's up with you?" I looked over at Sasuke and jumped. Fuck!

"Ohhh, you know. The Max life!" I uncomfortably laughed. The topic I forgot was about him!

"I know that face!" Kisame yelled "you're hiding something!"

Everyone turned and stared at me. Hidan smirked and made his way over to me. He quickly tried snatching the paper, but without thinking I shoved the letter, in my pants. I prayed hoping that Hidan or any other member wasn't weird or creepy enough to go through my pants. Hidan blinked.

"What?" I asked him.

"I didn't think you would shove it in your pants."

"I don't think any of us would have imagined that" Sasori said.

"I did!" Linda called out raising her hand. "I already know how weird she can get!"

I gave Linda a long stare, squinting up. I don't know how long I stayed liked that. But I stopped when Ana's mom came in with the car.

"What is that hole?!" She asked, alarmed.

"Um…" Ana slowly shook her head in 'confusion'.

"We chased away someone!" Linda blurted out. We all turned to her, jaws hanging open.

"Who?"

"Uh…" Linda slightly hesitated. "Orochimaru!"

"…Orochimaru?" Susan asked confused, more than before.

"Yeah! He suddenly came out of nowhere like; "Give me Sasuke!" And Ana was like, no I want Sasuke! And Max said to stay away you pedophile! Then the Akatsuki walked in, and Pein was like; "I thought I got rid of you, you child molester! So we chased Orochimaru outside, where he became a snake and dug his way into the ground. And, that's where we are. And why there's a hole."

Ana's mom stared at Linda, and slowly looked over at me. I just _had_ to be the oldest.

"What's in your pants?" She asked me trying to keep her cool. I reached down and pulled the letter our.

"A paper…"

"Why is it in your pants?"

"…to…keep it warm" I said at the last minute. Susan slowly blinked and walked into her house. Probably wondering what went wrong.

I looked back over at the Akatsuki and Sasuke, and the girls. See! This is why I didn't want to bring Sasuke. I was able to say, the Akatsuki and Ana and Linda, now it just sounds weird.

"Well then, so how-"

"FIX IT!" Susan screamed at us before slamming the door. I slightly jumped.

"Why?" Pein asked

"Because we made a mess" Kakuzu answered.

"No, the story."

"Oh…then no"

"Linda? Where did you get that idea?" Konan asked her.

"I don't know" Linda shrugged.

"I didn't see that coming" Sasuke muttered.

"Oh we all did!" Deidara, Kisame and Zetsu all called out.

"True" I nodded my head.

* * *

 **AN: Thanks for reading, I'll see you guys Friday!**

 **Man, next chapter…will fuck you guys up. Bye!**


	35. Not On My Watch!

**Pretty Long Author's Note -**

 **AN: Can I just like, warn you guys about something. So this chapter is when the good shit (main idea-plot) happens. And where the title starts to make sense. From this chapter on, things get less and less realistic. Not like this story was ever realistic (and it's a pretty long chapter, just saying).**

 **So ladies and gentleman, I present you. The extreme things, a fangirl will do.**

* * *

 **Ana**

It was June 2, 2016. Now _this_ date, is far more memorable than what Max said, or wrote. Today starts like any other day since the arrival of the Akatsuki. I got up earlier than usual, from the time school was out for summer break. I made breakfast and sat on the couch playing Xbox. Naruto of course. That's when my phone ringed.

 **8:15 am**

"Yo"

"My house now!" I heard Max's voice through the speaker.

"Why?" I slightly whined. "I just started playing Naruto!"

"Here! Now!" And she hanged up.

I frowned staring at my phone. Sighing I called up the trio and Kakuzu.

"Wait" I said as we were about to leave. I walked back to my moms room. "Linda get up! I've been yelling at you for the past 15 minutes!"

"But why?!" She whined throwing the covers over her head. "It's summer break! It's like six in the morning!"

"We have to go! Are you going to get up, or do I have to spank you?!"

"You're going to have to come spank me!"

I grabbed one of the slippers and jumped on the bed. Linda began screaming, yelling abuse and saying that she was going to get up. I grabbed the covers and threw it off the bed, and grabbed the clothes Linda wore yesterday and threw it at her. After dragging her out the room, all six of us left to Max's house.

 **8:32 am**

Pein had summoned the Akatsuki, and Sasuke, to a meeting at Max's house.

"Why does Pein call meetings at your house?" I asked, leaning over to Max. She shrugged.

"I think it's because of the long dining table."

"Akatsuki, and… Sasuke. It has come to my fullest attention that we have been here for almost a year.-"

"Wait, What the fuck?!" Deidara yelled taking a double take.

"Yes" Pein said glaring at Deidara for interrupting him. "We arrived early August, by the fault of _someone_ …" Everyone turned and stared at Max, including me.

"It. Was. A. Sarcastic. Comment!" She yelled.

"That's not important. But we've wasted to much time here. I suggest on getting back. So, I've made rough drafts of a jutsu to get back-"

"What!" Max yelled. "You're planning on leaving!"

"Maybe if you'd all let me finish the meeting, you understand better." Pein said irritated.

"But you can't!" Max yelled, looking hurt. "You just got here!"

"Woman!" Kakuzu called. "We came like a year ago!"

"Whatever! That barely even makes a story. Time flies!"

I sighed and slapped my hand over Max's mouth to keep her quiet. Pein cleared his throat and continued.

"Thank you, as I was saying. I've made some rough drafts of jutsus that we can try, to help us get back home. Another idea I had was to get Max to wish us back. Only flaw there is that she won't mean it."

"When did you get the time to think of all this?" Linda asked sitting up in the stool she was slouching in.

"The time you guys were in that place you call school" I held back a chuckle. That place you call school, good one Pein.

Max suddenly broke from my grasp (not like it was much of a grasp or anything) and ran to Pein's side.

"Let me help you!" She yelled pleading.

"How?" Pein asked. Not so much in a thankful or questionable way. In a sense of, you?

"Yeah, you're always talking about how the Akatsuki needs funds! I can help you!"

"How do you know that?" Kakuzu asked.

"She's an Akatsuki fangirl, did you seriously asked that?" Linda explained raising an eyebrow. We all stared at her surprised, she shrugged.

I went to the cabinets and got a cup of water to help with my slight sore throat.

"Okay, so how are _you_ going to help us make money?" Konan asked.

"I'd actually like to hear this." Sasori said, slightly showing a wicked smile.

"Um… I'll just…" Max began looking around. "We'll be… drug dealers"

I coughed and spat the water that I dranked. My throat burned as I continued coughing.

"Drug dealers?" Kisame asked slowly looking away from me. Max nodded.

"And how do you suppose we do that, smart one" Deidara asked mocking her.

"Take me with you!" Max cried out.

Silence.

Suddenly the Akatsuki and Linda and I bursted out laughing. I even forgot that I was dying three seconds ago.

"Oh yeah, we just take you three. Your parents would totally accept the fact that a criminal group took you" Zetsu snorted. But Max's facial expression slowly made us calm down and stop laughing.

"I have nothing to lose" Max said keeping a straight face.

"We're not taking you to our world-"

"Who said anything about going to your world" Max said cutting Hidan off his sentence.

"And what if we do take you serious? What would be your plan?" Itachi asked, as him and Sasuke were the only ones who didn't laugh.

"Hanging with my friends or having the chance to awol with my favorite characters. I think I choose the, once in a lifetime, never gonna happen. As for going with you guys. We'll just use a mind erasing jutsu on my parents. You know, one that only lets them forget that I existed." Max looked around as she described her plan.

Not gonna lie. I really want Pein to say yes. Think about it, this entire situation is one of the last things to happen. And yet, here we are living it. Plus, I also have nothing to lose, sorry mama.

"Plus" Max added. She leaned over to whisper to Pein.

"I see" was all Pein said. After a couple minutes of silence Pein spoke up again. "I say… yes."

"WHAT!" The Akatsuki yelled, going into a fit of yelling, one after another.

"SILENCE!" Pein shut them up.

"Um, Pein? I think we should talk this over together" Konan suggest. Pein just leaned and whispered in her ear. Konan's eyes widden.

"Well" she started. "Everyone, start working on a mind erasing jutsu" Konan ordered getting up.

"I'm gonna regret this later" I said getting the attention. I raised my hand "I'm in"

"Me too!" Linda called out.

 **8:51am**

Pein and Konan left us alone with the Akatsuki and Sasuke. The Akatsuki tried thinking of how Max got all of them into a mess that's ready to happen, and a mind erasing jutsu. And by them, mostly Itachi did the work.

"I still don't know how you got Pein to agree to this?" Sasori said, with disgust slipping out.

"Tobi thinks drug dealing is not such a good boy thing to do" Tobi said in a slight scared voice.

"What did you even say?" Deidara asked.

"Well, I just told Pein an estimate of how much drug dealing can make." Max said putting on a cocky smile.

"How much _do_ they make?" Kisame asked.

"Well it depends, some people have people distributed around making them $10,000 a week. But there are rumors, that some make 500k a night"

"Damn" Kakuzu whistled.

"Done" We all looked over at Itachi as he held a scroll.

"So, how do we test it?" I asked him trying to see if I could see the writing.

"That's already been dealt with"

"How?" Sasuke asked frowning.

"That's why I'm proud to be your partner!" Kisame laughed throwing an arm around Itachi, which he gave Kisame a glare for.

 **9:06 am**

Max had taken Pein to go do some behind the scenes work. While I had to stay and babysit the Akatsuki. With Konan and Linda of course.

"I'm bored!" Hidan yelled.

"You're always a pain" Kakuzu muttered.

"Pein" Linda and I automatically said.

"What?"

"Oh, every time someone mentions the word pain, we follow up with the name Pein" I explained. "Like when Max ran into a doorknob one day. "MOTHER FUCKER, OH GOD I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN, pein, HELP ME I'M DYING!"

"Based on a true story" Linda said returning to her stupid self.

"Speaking of Max, what is she doing with Pein?" Zetsu asked.

"She's getting a place to stay, and a workplace" Konan said looking up from her origami.

"But where is she gonna get the money?" Sasori asked frowning. I shrugged.

"Oh, and Max said she had to go talk to someone" Linda added.

"Is it that so called best friend?" Hidan scowled.

"Shut Up!" We all yelled.

"And Max had Pein mind erase the state of Iowa, for people who met us in the past." I added. "Also they're getting rid of our stuff from my house. I gave Max a list to tell her what to destroy and what's coming with us."

"Wait!" Tobi yelled. "Are we seriously doing this now?!"

"…oh…shit! Kid's right"

 **12:36 pm**

Max and Pein walked through the door with different facial expressions. Pein had his calm, menacing leader look. But Max looks like she just lost the love of her life and she's still in shock.

"What's up with you?" Deidara asked swallowing down some Chinese take out.

"She…knew" Max's voice shook.

"Who knew what?" I asked slurping my Lo mein. I had Chinese food delivered to us for lunch.

"My friend…she knew something was going on. And the day we were playing out in the snow, she was visiting a family friend. She saw us playing in the snow from the backyard."

"But wasn't that months ago?" Kakuzu pointed out.

"I know" Max said. "But she never mentioned it. And when she did, I asked Pein to use the mind erasing jutsu."

"Did it work?" Linda asked. Max nodded.

"Do you need a hug?" Tobi asked her, spreading his arms out. Max nodded.

"But not by you, trio?"she asked. They didn't answer.

"Here" I said handing her an extra box of Lo mein and chopsticks. "Food heals"

"Besides that" Pein waved the subject off. "We did find places to work and live. For great deals, we got great places."

"So when are we leaving?" Itachi asked placing his box in the trash bag. It was the bag that they delivered our food in.

"When their parents are here, and Max's brother." We all nodded.

"Am I terrible friend?" Max asked muttering.

"Yes" Hidan said, "but a great partner in crime" Max glared at him for smiling.

 **3:58 pm**

"So what's the reason for calling the four of us to sit?" Max's dad asked. We all had a plan that the Akatsuki would fake that they are leaving, so when they preform the jutsu to leave. Itachi is actually doing the mind erasing jutsu.

"We were just saying that we were on our way to leaving. So thank you for your hospitality." Blah, Itachi and his formal words. I looked over and noticed Linda fidgeting around, slightly pacing.

"Well, it was… interesting to have you" Max's mom said uncomfortably.

"I CAN'T KEEP IT IN!" Linda yelled. "Mom they're trying to mind erase your-" Suddenly Tobi ran and tackled Linda to the ground shutting her up.

"GO! GO! GO!" Tobi screamed at Itachi.

"Mind erase Jutsu!" There was a white flash and I felt someone slap their hand on my eyes.

After my eyes adjusted itself, I saw my mom and Max's parents and brother out cold on the couch. I slowly looked over at Linda who was sniffling on the ground. I felt slightly bad…

"So how long does this jutsu last?" Sasuke asked taking a look at the scroll.

"I gave us two hours" Itachi explained keeping his face cool.

"I could've done that" Deidara muttered.

"But you didn't" I told him and pulled Max to her room.

I helped her back all her books and clothes. And some stuff from her childhood that she wanted to keep in a box. She also brought other random stuff along.

"Okay!" Max announced as we were all outside.

"Okay, Deidara" Pein called. "Be useful for once and make a clay something to carry us and all this."

"Try making a clay plane!" I suggest.

"The fuck is a plane?!" Max showed him a couple pictures from the internet. "Fine. But I better get something good in return." Deidara scowled.

It took him about five minutes to sculpt a plane to withstand us and our crap. We all went to an open field (carrying our stuff in one of Sasori's puppets) to place the little sculpture. Deidara held two fingers up, blowing it up to full size. I grabbed Linda by the hand and pulled her in. She went and sat in a corner knees up and face down. I sighed, when suddenly I remembered something.

"YOU BETTER NOT BLOW THIS UP!" I screamed at Deidara.

"Damn It!"

* * *

 **AN: Phew, that was a long chapter. I was still finishing it up, that's why it's posted at this hour. I just want to say that I'm not gonna be able to post until Monday or Tuesday. I just don't have enough time to work on a chapter this weekend. I'm busy with state, and**

 **Super Bowl Sunday!**

 **So I'll catch you guys later.**


	36. Adjustments

**Max: The Super Bowl was good. Half time show could have been better if it was** _ **just**_ **Coldplay.**

 **Ana: Puppy…monkey…baby?**

 **Linda:…**

 **Ana: Why?**

 **Linda: I don't know I didn't make the commercials. Max?**

 **Max: I don't know man, I was negotiating with Ana the whole time. But we did record it, so I'll get to see the parts that I missed.**

 **Linda: Okay, now stop talking, it's my perspective chapter.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. Thank you, Jahariah, PaulinhaEyva, Mythical-laf, Sofia27. For favoriting and following the story.**

* * *

 **Linda**

I sighed and turned to my left side. I've been holding that position since I got on the 'plane.' My legs and back hurt, and my neck kind of hurts.

"Are we there yet?" Ana asked.

"Max?" Deidara asked looking over at Max.

"By my calculations, we should be there already or very soon" Max said holding a map, high up. I huffed and turned back around.

I was trying to get some sleep, when suddenly the entire clay model began shaking.

"What's that?" I asked scared.

"We're about to land!" Max called out. "So grab on to something…" Max trailed off when she realized that there was nothing really to grab onto. "Or someone."

Screaming, I ran and jumped on Konan's lap. I feel so safe when I'm with her.

"There was no reason for you to scream" Kisame pointed out. I shrugged.

The clay plane slid on the grass until it completely stopped.

"Good job Deidara!" Max congratulated Deidara.

"Okay, now what do I get in return?" Deidara asked looking at Pein and the rest of us.

"We could make out?" Max suggested playing with her eyebrows.

"Hard pass" Deidara said getting up and squeezed his way out his clay. Max pouted and followed after. I got off Konan and followed Ana out the 'plane.'

I stretched all my aching muscles.

"Where are we?" Zetsu asked looking around. I shrugged, Max never told us where we were going.

"We…are in California!" Max yelled waving her hands around.

"Cal- cal-, California?!" Ana yelled, finally spitting out her sentence.

"Follow up question" Tobi raised his hand. "Where is the place we're gonna stay?"

"Yeah, where are we going to sleep and eat?" Hidan asked.

"Just follow me guys" Max turned around and started walking.

We all sighed and followed Max.

"So how far is the house" I asked.

"Well, since we're walking. I would say about 1 mile"

After dragging our butts out of a field, we finally saw the edge of a city. I don't know which one, so don't ask me. I dragged myself for what seemed like _hours._ I huffed and pulled on Max's shirt.

"WHEN ARE WE GONNA GET THERE!" I yelled devastated.

"We have like five minutes more of walking" Max said. "So do you think you can stop acting like a baby for a couple more minutes?" I stopped walking and stared at Max for a while.

"If I get a piggy back ride"

"Okay, Ana give-"

"No" I interrupted Max. "I want you to give me a piggy back ride."

Max stood still before letting out a big breath and crouching in front of me. I jumped on her back holding onto her shoulders. "On go peasant!" I yelled.

"Don't get too comfortable" Max said in a grouchy tone.

* * *

"Holy shit" Ana said looking up at the building.

"Is this really necessary?" Deidara asked. His voice slightly shaking.

"I mean, it's more space than what we need but. But I got a great deal!" Max explained our work place.

It was a five story work place. Why? I don't know, I don't know anything.

"C'mon I'll show you in" Max said leading the way in.

"How much did this cost?" I heard Kakuzu asked from the back.

"It wasn't from our budget" was all Pein said.

The doors slid open revealing a desk and a little hallway behind it. The ceilings were high and the floors were made of granite. I walked behind the desk and stood in front of a door.

"Oh, behind that door is an office" Max said walking beside me. "But whatever Pein and I can get into more detail later. For now let's start heading to our new home!" I sighed and followed the group.

* * *

I stared wide eyed and jaw hanging open. Our 'house' was wide and big. There was a tree that stood to the side as the building curved around it. But not too close. The glass door slid open as we walked in, passing our inside mailbox. Max smack the button beside the elevator.

Going up, the doors opened making me gasp. In front of us was a railing with stairs to the side, and a couch leaning on the railing facing us. Going down the stairs was the living room. _HIGH_ ceiling and such big room. A long purple couch stretched across the room with two brown coffee tables. Behind the couch was a window (with patterns) that reach up to the ceiling. Standing on the steps to the left was a big _ass_ t.v, flat screen.

The dining room was right next door, no door. The 'doorway' was tall and wide. It had a very long dining table with 13 chairs. To the right was a wall the cover up the cooking area of the kitchen. But a wide rectangular hole was visible sitting at the table. To see through the kitchen. There was also a big t.v connected to the wall. Not as big as the one in the living room, but close.

Going back up stairs. There were two hallways, left and right, from the elevator. They were our rooms, four rooms in each hallway. My room is next to Ana's (of course) and across from Konan's. Kisame, Kakuzu, Tobi and Zetsu were staying in the other four rooms. And Pein' room was _obviously_ next to Konan's.

"Wait what about the rest of us?" Sasuke asked looking back over at Max, who was helping me push my box of stuff in my room.

"Our rooms are upstairs, third floor." Max took them all up to the third floor where there was about six more rooms.

The rooms where a soft green color that had a buzzer next to it (cuz knocking is so 2015). The door opens towards the hallway, inside is a small lit hall with wooden floor and two doors. The door on the right (which is really close to the green door) is the actual bedroom, which is small. Or cozy as Max said. The other door, stained glass, was the bathroom. It has a long sink, toilet, a shower, and a big deep bathtub beside it! Like damn Max! You went all in!

We all slowly adjusted to our new surroundings. It was a little hard for me because I missed my mommy. But it's all for the Akatsuki! Max was the only one who struggled when it came to the first work day.

Ana was making eggs and bacon. She just gave me yogurt with juice and eggs. I don't like milk, and I refuse to hurt the piggys!

"Max! Hurry the fuck up!" Ana screamed up the stairs.

"Hey" Deidara called out to Ana. "Your cooking is pretty good."

"He's right" Pein agreed. "You'll be in charge of breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

"What?!" Ana exclaimed not looking amused. She let out a low growl when the rest of the Akatsuki, and Sasuke, nodded.

"WHOSE BRIGHT IDEA WAS IT TO WAKE UP SO EARLY?!" I heard Max scream down the stairs.

"That would be you" Sasori answered slightly looking up from the newspaper. Max glared at everyone and took a seat next to Tobi.

During breakfast we sit wherever we'd like. It's dinner time when Pein likes to keep things in check. At the office (I call it that because the building we own now was used for an office) I was to help Konan and Pein with stock and records. I'm on the fifth floor. Ana's on the first with Sasuke. Max is on the second floor with Hidan and Kakuzu.

I don't get why Max is even working with money. She hates math, but she does love money. So that leaves Sasori and Deidara on the third floor and Itachi and Kisame on the fourth. Tobi and Zetsu are in the basement monitoring our, 'cooks.' You know the people who make smiles. Make homemade snow. And make herbs.

~We have been so busy and distracted with all this, that Max threw a fit because she forgot Itachi's birthday. But what can you do? I'm slightly glad that Max forgot. I don't want to risk a chance of her getting a point from Itachi. Yeah! I know about the points! Remember people, I'm a fangirl of Itachi. MUST PROTECT!

* * *

 **AN: Sorry for not posting when I said I would. I was sick and I got a bad case of writer's block. That's why this chapter seems plain.**

 **I wish I could get out of this funk. I don't know when I'll be posting (sorry). So for now I bid a farewell.**

* * *

 _ **After Hours**_ **:**

 _Slurp Slurp._

"Hey guys what's up?" Max asked walking down the stairs. She stood in front of her two favorite people.

"We're having tea" Deidara said taking another sip.

"So what do you guys think of the house so far?"

"It's really nice" Sasori said. "But tell me, how did you get money to start off?"

"Well I just paid the money we had now, and when we make _more_ money I'll just pay all of it. Interest." Max said nodding at her 'smart' plan of doing interest with the bank.

"Okay, so where did you get the money to start off?" Deidara asked setting his cup down.

"Uh, well…"

* _Max's Flash Back*_

"You come here often?"

Meow

"I see" Max nodded. Pein walked over and flicked Max on the forehead. "Stop messing around and pick him up."

Huffing, Max grabbed the gray cat and followed Pein out the alley way.

"Tell me, why are we doing this?" Pein asked looking a little off. He was holding three cats.

"I told you already, these cats are recent cases of lost animals of _filthy_ rich people. So that white cat you're holding, that cat cost around $100,000." Max pointed at the white kitten with a red collar. Pein's face paled as he stared at the cat.

"Tell anyone that I'm helping cats, and I'll make _sure_ you regret coming with me."

* _End of Max's Flash Back*_

"We, robbed a rich person's mansion…" Sasori and Deidara frowned on why it had taken Max a while to answer.

"Alright." They said at last. Max just nodded and walked back upstairs.

"She does know we just saw her flashback? Right?" Deidara asked looking over at Sasori.

"No, but let's not tell her." Sasori looked down and continued reading.


	37. The Actress, The Religious Whore, Kakuzu

**Ana: They just had to have a second season, just had to.**

 **Linda: Isn't it great! A second season of** _ **Boys over flowers,**_ **I can't wait! I just want Max to finish so I can spoil it.**

 **Ana: Well if she did see all of it, you wouldn't really be spoiling anything.**

 **Linda: Whatever! I just want to gossip with someone about it. Now do me a favor and shut up!**

 **Ana: God you're so-rude!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. And thank you, Cheyenne761, for following and favoriting this story.**

* * *

 **Max**

"You're joking right? You're just fucking with us?" I asked standing in front of Pein.

"You're just fucking with us right? Fucking us hard?" Pein glared at Hidan for using strong words towards the almighty, 'God.'

"Look if you don't like what I have planned then you can all go get a straw and suck it up, because I don't care what you think" Pein's voice boomed. "Now go and complete your mission. And if I find out that you didn't do it. So be it I will personally get Konan's paper and cut you."

"What the hell did I do to deserve a threat? Those two were the ones complaining." Kakuzu asked looking over at Hidan and I.

Pein sighed and rubbed his temples. "It's just a warning. Now go, I have other matters to attend to." Pein said waving us off.

"Would that be Konan-?" Hidan sneered, but immediately stopped when Pein continued glaring at him.

I walked Hidan out the office before he got the three of us killed.

"We'll be back in a bit" I called out to Linda.

"Okay" she answered. "Just be back by lunchtime." I gave a thumbs up as I hit the button next to elevator to make it open.

"Let's hurry and get this over with." Kakuzu said to the both of us as we walked in the elevator.

"Why do we have to hurry?"

"Because if we just go from point A to point B back to point A in a quick time, to me that's less time with the both of you."

Hidan smirked. "C'mon don't you like me? I mean I understand why you wouldn't like Max. I mean dude, she took your money."

"Hidan! What the fuck?!" I yelled glaring at Hidan. "I thought we were partners in crime?! If I go down you go down with me. So if he doesn't like me, you hanging out with me makes him hate you too!" I snapped.

Hidan slowly nodded his head in consideration. "I see your point."

"Don't talk like I'm not here." Kakuzu hissed at us. "Now let's go."

As we walked out of the building I yawned and stretched my body. I swing myself side to side to see if I could crack my back. After I couldn't I skipped up next to the two.

"Okay" I said "I know what the plan is, but I just have one simple question"

"And that is?" I slightly cleared my throat.

"WHY THE HELL AM I HERE?!"

"Because you would go around acting all hard and stuff."

"Really?" I asked looking at Hidan in surprise.

"We're just fucking with you. You call yourself an actress, so we need your help with something in this trade." Kakuzu said.

"Okay…" I mumbled. I was flattered that they called me an actress.

"So it's the actress, the religious whore, and me."

"Yeah!" Hidan cheered with Kakuzu. "Wait…THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN KAKUZU?!" Hidan yelled glaring at Kakuzu.

"You're too loud, and don't yell at me that was Max's nickname for you."

I slowly looked over at Kakuzu with my mouth hanging open. "You talk too much for an old man." I looked over at Hidan and sheepishly smiled. "All good vibes" I awkwardly smiled at Hidan, patting him on the back.

* * *

We rolled up to a pretty shady taco restaurant. Their sign looked like it would break any minute, and they also had some outside seating that was between two buildings in an alley.

"So, what am I doing?" I asked looking around. I was pretty skeptical that this was the place that we needed to do our trade.

"You walk in there like any other customer, and you give the cashier this note, out loud I want you to say that you want carry out. After five minutes of walking in, Hidan and I will follow you were the trade is."

"Wait" I said stopping him, "how will you know where I'm going?"

"Ah" Hidan said. "Here, just swallow this pill. It has my chakra so Kakuzu can track you, since you're not a ninja."

"I don't want to swallow your chakra" I muttered my voice shaking.

"Why the hell not!"

"Because what if I become immortal. I don't want to pray to Jashin." I protest. I let out a slight whimpering cry.

"She does make a good point" Hidan muttered. "BUT WE DON'T HAVE TIME! SO SWALLOW THE PILL WOMAN!"

I uneasily stared at the white pill. The shape of it reminded me of a seed. I can already hear them laughing at me for thinking it was a pill, when it really was a seed. But their faces didn't show anything other than seriousness. Well, Hidan looked impatient. So I took a deep breath and shoved the pill in my mouth. I prayed that it wouldn't make me into another Jashinist.

"Okay what now?" I asked feeling the pill go uncomfortably down my throat. I didn't have any water so my mouth felt dry for that reason.

"Okay, when the cashier takes you to where ever you need to go, you get the money and hand them this package." Kakuzu pulled out a box with our logo, which was my idea. 曉 Corporation. "After the trade we swoop in and kill everyone-"

"WAIT!" I stopped him. "That doesn't make any sense, WHAT THE HELL!"

"We were asked to get rid of low life wanna be from a higher man." Hidan explained. "Now go! We don't have time!"

I slowly made myself out the dark alleyway, putting my hand up to block out the sun. I looked both ways before crossing the street. When I walked in it was empty with only a couple people. Some teenagers, an old couple, and a guy in the back reading the newspaper. I walked up to the cashier with a friendly smile.

"Welcome! What can I get you?" The cashier was a girl with short red hair and wide smile.

"Yeah, can I get a water cup first?"

"Sure!" She grabbed a cup and filled it up. When she handed it to me I gulped it down like a fish out of water. I handed her the note. "I'd like carry out" I said between gulps.

"Okay" she looked at the note and scribbled something down before handing it back. "We'll be right on it!"

I walked over to throw my cup in a trash bin, reading the note.

 **Eat the note and meet me in the bathroom…**

I looked both side before shoving the note in my mouth. I casually threw the cup in the bin and headed to the bathroom. I opened the door letting it close behind me.

"So you came to see him?" I jumped when I heard her voice as she walked in the bathroom. Her voice was a lot colder than awile ago.

"Yeah."

"Follow me" and she walked out leading me to a door down the hall.

After a long moment of awkward silence and walking down the stairs, I looked over and her let a dry laugh out. "So what's your name?" She gave me an odd look. "Okay" I mumbled.

"It's 55552 (fifty five-fifty five-two)"

"What is?"

"My code name. Don't you have code names?"

"Uh-yeah" I let a fake short laugh out. "It's navy blue"

"colors? Interesting, oh we're right here." The red head knocked on the door, opening it and letting me in I saw three people in a gray room.

"Sir this is the 10:00 trade"

"mmm?" The man in a suit got up. "So you're doing the trade, whatever. Tony give her the money, 55552 get the package."

I raised my hand to give the package when suddenly I heard bang and laughter. I realized that it was Hidan and Kakuzu (such a cool entrance).

"Alright, Who The Fuck Are You Guys?!"

"SEXY!" Hidan laughed. "okay, okay playtime is over. Now we have a message that you're are going to die."

"From who?!" The man in gray asked.

"From Cap, don't ask cuz we don't even know" Kakuzu mutter.

The man in the gray suit suddenly looked like he was about throw a tantrum, by the way his face got red.

"ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT DADDY SENT TO KILL ME! AHHHHH!" I placed my hands to my ears. Now that I'm seeing better and hearing. This guy might be the same age as Deidara.

"Yeah" Hidan said awkwardly. "Daddy don't want you. Daddy don't want you. Daddy don't like you. Daddy-"

"Shut up" Kakuzu said annoyed.

"WHAT THE FUCK! GOD DAMN IT!" Suddenly the dude pulled a pistol out and pointed to the three of us. "WELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, SO I'LL JUST KILL EVERYONE HERE!"

"Is it me or does that guy seem unstable" I whisper to Hidan and Kakuzu.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" The dude suddenly grabbed a grenade and took of the ring. "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE IN THIS SHIT HOLE!"

I let out a scream and darted back up the stairs. As I reach the top I screamed for everyone to get out and I ran out into the street past alleys and other stray cats. Suddenly a huge bang was heard with the ground shaking. The sound ringed in my ears and I stayed on the floor where the energy had thrown me.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!" I looked up to see Hidan standing beside me. "Whatever, we barely saved the money and got out."

"I'm surprised" Kakuzu said. "This almost looks likes Deidara's work, only smaller."

I slowly raised myself to start running off, but I heard a click and I felt something on the back of my head. On one knee I slowly looked behind me to see a cop with their gun pointed at me.

"Don't move." He order. I faced forward seeing a group of police officers pointing their guns at Hidan and Kakuzu and I.

Well shit…

* * *

 **Max: Slightly irrelevant, but i just can't get over what I said.**

" **You come here often?"**

 **Meow**

" **I see"**

 **I just found that so cute and fun. Whatever that's all I had to say. Bye!**


	38. Robert Rodrigez

**To Kris Awesomeness:**

 **AN: Thank you, I love you, thank you so much for the reviews.**

 **Max: Look it's not that we** _ **hate**_ **Tobi., or dislike him.**

 **Ana: We like goofball Tobi he has some funny things to say;**

 _Look Deidara, I'm a school girl in love with her senpai._

 **Linda: WE'RE JUST SCARED OF OBITO!**

 **Max: Spoilers…. But she's right. We are going to cry if Obito comes out.**

 **Ana: So yeah hope that answered your question. And hopefully other people who thought the same thing.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Ana**

Man I'm bored. All I do is type on a computer. And that only makes up about a third of my work time. I need to do something fun.

 _Ding_

"Asshole" I looked up to see Max coming out of the elevator with Hidan and Kakuzu.

"Where are you guys heading?" I asked putting away the binder I was looking at.

"We have to go to a mission, I already told Linda that we'd be back by lunch time."

"Alright" I said letting them go.

Just as the doors closed the phone ringed. I stared at the land line for about a minute. This was the first time I got a call outside of the office. Usually Linda would call me and start talking nonsense. Like one day she called me and started talking about how she felt sick because everything smelled like milk. And I told her to go out and get some fresh air, or open the window. But all she did was stay at her desk because she was 'tired.'

Well whatever, I picked the phone up and put it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Tommy?!"

"Uh, no."

" _Sure_ " she sassed. "Who is this anyways?"

"Um…" I didn't know if I should say my real name or make some name up. "I'm…boo…boo?"

"What?" She said not hearing me clearly. Thank god.

"I said I'm Barbara!" I blurted out.

"Barbra! I knew it. You fucking slut I knew he was cheating on me with you!"

"Uh, ma'am I don't think I'm who you think I am" I said trying to get the woman to listen.

"NO FUCK YOU! YOU CAN KEEP HIM!" And she hanged up. But I heard her say something about five years of marriage for nothing…. Guys I think I just ruined a marriage.

* * *

After gossiping to Kisame about that, Pein had Linda and I go get lunch. I hate going around asking people what they want. I like the days when we all go home and I make lunch. And _some_ days I'll just bring lunch. But today I have to go out, order lunch, then pay, then come back and hand everyone their food. And you know what it's a lot of work.

I dragged my feet across the pavement of the sidewalk with Linda falling behind because she keeps getting distracted with candy stores and pet stores that have clear windows. I sighed trying to keep myself from getting annoyed with her. I looked to my right so see Linda skipping beside me. "What are you doing?" I asked her.

"I'm skipping." She pointed out.

"I know that" I said through my teeth. "Why?" She shrugged and continued skipping.

I walked into our favorite chinese restaurant and walked up to the clerk slapping the paper in front of him.

"Usual?" he asked examining the paper. This 'man' takes our order all the time. I put quotes around man because he calls himself a man, but he's really around 16 years old.

"Yup, and hurry we're busy today." I rushed him.

"Of course, we have meal ready at usual time." he said bowing. I gave him a thumbs up and walked over to sit and wait. I saw Linda standing on a chair looking at the top of the fish tank.

"You know they can jump up and bite you, right?" I told her taking a seat next to her.

She glared at me and stuck her tongue out before taking her seat. I grabbed one of the nearby magazines to entertain myself. The door opened showing two female customers coming in.

"Wecome" the guy greeted them, his accent being heavy.

"Hi, we'll both have the number four. Thank you." The woman gave an awkward smile. The meal for her and her crying friend. I immediately remembered what I said to Max awhile back.

 _Food heals_

"Okay we get that for you." The clerk rushed over to the kitchen making sure there order would come fast.

I frowned and looked over at the two girls. I raised the magazine to hide my face as I overheard their conversation. So what I'm being nosy. I have to wait for my food and stay seated next to Linda, let me entertain myself!

"I just can't believe that he cheated on me with some, bitch." The woman who was crying, wailed clinging onto her friend.

"It's okay, he wasn't worth it anyways. That Barbra bitch can go fuck herself!" the friend patted the crying woman on the back.

I froze feeling myself tense up. Oh fuck…

"Yeah, only thing is she'll be fucking my man!" The girl began crying fresh tears.

"What's wrong with you?" Linda asked peering at me over the magazine.

"What! Nothing" I said telling her off.

"You're terrible at lying you know?" I glared at Linda until the clerk came up to me saying that my carry out was ready.

I jumped up, slapped the money in his hand I thanked him and left, tugging Linda along until we got back to the office.

Back in the office (after handing everyone their lunch) I told Kisame what happened.

"That's odd for something like that to happen" Itachi said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well what do I expect, everything is going to happen to us." I just had to be a main character.

"Wait, why?" Linda innocently asked. I just glared at her before turning my attention to the rest of the group. "So I was thinking on doing something fun today."

"Like what?" Deidara asked.

"I don't know" I shrugged.

"Wait" Linda said bring the attention back to her. "Hidan, Kakuzu, and Max havn't arrived yet."

"That's right, they said they would be back by lunchtime" I thought out loud. I looked over staring at three untouched food containers.

"Max isn't here to call dibs, and neither is Hidan." Sasori said in a creepy like tone, like he was the one who killed them and didn't care if everyone else knows or finds out.

"Well, ignoring that problem. What did you have in find mind for something we can do Ana?" Konan asked me.

"I don't know, we could go to a museum" I suggested.

"That might not be so bad" Zetsu agreed. " **Only problem there is, is those two artist are going to damaged everything they don't agree with.** " Black zetsu pointed out.

"That's Deidara that destroys things. I just don't care to see another artist's perspective." Sasori clarified keeping his nose high. He seems brattier than usual.

"Tobi likes that idea!" Tobi yelled clapping his hands together.

"What, the part of going to the museum or the idea of Deidara blowing things up?" Pein asked. Tobi thought for a moment.

"Both!" Tobi announced happily.

I'm not saying that I agree with Tobi or anything. But I kinda want to see that too.

* * *

And that's exactly what we did. After work and dinner I took the 11 of us to a nearby art museum. I bought bracelets for us to go in and look around. By this point I hoped Sasori or Deidara (or both!) don't break or destroy anything.

"Pablo… Picasso?" Sasuke sounded out.

"Yeah, I don't know much about him" Linda said rubbing her chin, squinting at the painting.

"Do you?" I began blushing when Sasuke turned and asked me. I shook my head no.

"Ugh, disgusting" Deidara said walking up to me.

"Are you going to hate on every painting and sculpture we see?"

"No, I was talking about you blushing to Emo boy over there." My eyes widen staring at Deidara. "But now that you mention it" He leaned in examining the painting. "Disgusting…"

"Can you at least use a different word?" Sasori asked rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Fine, revolting."

"I think that's a little too harsh." Linda said giving her opinion.

I slowly made my way out of that conversation. I walked over to see Konan staring at a sculpture of a woman holding a limp flower. A white sheet spreading itself on the lap of the crying woman.

"Such beautiful art work" Konan said in awe. I smiled.

"Yeah, it really is." My mind immediately went to Max. I can already hear her saying that art is something private. Delicate and the only reason to keep your mistakes close.

Damn-now I really want to know what their mission was. I bet they had to go infiltrate some place and steal some money or something. Or maybe they had to go do a trade that could go wrong if even a little mistake was made-probably something badass. I stared at a glass panel that had a girl and a boy dancing.

"So how much money can I get off this?" Kisame asked.

"You sound like Kakuzu-have you been thinking about that for the past hour?" I asked incredulously as Kisame. He shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, if you want to get technical-"

 _ **Boom!**_

There was suddenly a gigantic explosion-people screaming, floor shaking, water shooting out. I ran with Kisame all the way back to the only person who would even dare blow up a priceless museum.

"DEIDARA! WHAT THE FUCK?!" I screamed at him pulling his hair.

"DAMN IT WOMAN, WHY DO YOU THINK IT WAS ME?!" Deidara asked screaming back.

"Was it?"

"Okay it was…" Deidara shyly muttered.

I began running, having the Akatsuki follow me. I made sharp turns in the hallways and tried to get us all out with such a huge crowd of people. I ran out having a chilly breeze smack me. I turned and grabbed Linda by the hand pulling her through a big ass crowd. Running all the way back home, I noticed that the police lights and fire was still very noticeable.

I fast walked-the doors sliding open, making myself to the elevator. I pushed the button carrying all of us up the stairs. I scurried down to the living room and turned around to see the Akatsuki (exclude Hidan and Kakuzu) and Sasuke casually walking down the stairs!

"How can you just walk?!" I yelled at them.

"It's not that hard, one foot in front of the other." Tobi said in a sarcastic voice. "C'mon left foot, right foot."

"Tobi, I don't think that's what she meant." Zetsu softly explained.

"What's the big deal?" Kisame laid back turning on the tv ignoring what I just said, and witnessed. Kinda. "You'll get use to it."

"Yeah" Deidara added walking into the living room with a glass of water. "What? I sometimes get thirsty blowing things up."

I felt my eye twitch. I was about to scream at them again until the elevator door opened up again.

"MOTHER FUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD! I DON'T KNOW WHO TO KILL, YOU OR THE POLICE OFFICER!" I looked up to see Max screaming her heart out at Hidan as they both, with Kakuzu, scurried down the stairs.

"Max!" Linda jumped up in excitement. "Where were you? What happened?"

"We went to jail" Kakuzu answered. "And we aren't going in there anytime soon."

"What do you mean you went to jail?!" I asked in disbelief.

 _Breaking New:_

We all turned our attention to the tv as it automatically switched to the news.

"We have a tragic case of terrorist attack in a museum." Some woman in a red suit began talking. "We how our journalist Robert Rodriguez on the case. Robert?"

"Yes Maria-I am standing outside of the scene where the attack acurred. Witness say that it was a blonde young female woman and a younger red hair man. Maybe lovers in crime?" Deidara suddenly spat out his water and in anger accidently broke the cup in his hand. "But I'll inform you when we have more information. This has been, Robert-Rodriguez. Maria?"

"Thank you Robert for that. Now, reasons to never give Red Bull to a pig-"

I dropped to the ground laughing my ass off! Not only did the news anchor sound funny, but they accused Deidara of being a woman and being a couple with Sasori! Can life get any better? Max and Linda had also joined me on the floor laughing.

"Woman" Deidara said through his tightened teeth.

"Lover" Sasori said disgusted.

"Because it was. Robert Rodriguez!" The three of us all laughed together with some other members.

"This isn't funny" Deidara snapped examining his bloody hand.

"I know. It's hilarious!" Hidan exclaimed.

I think Max and Linda and me, just found our new favorite person. Robert Rodriguez!

"I'm sorry baby" Max laughed. "But that's some funny shit. Let me take a look at your hand."

"Fuck You!" Deidara yelled walking out.

"I am going to murder him" Sasori said coldly. His eyes flashing dangerously.

"Awww" I whined. "Don't ruin the fun!"

"Shut It!" Sasori snapped.

"Yes sir" I shut up. I just quietly snickered to to Max and Linda.

* * *

 **AN: This has been BlueBeauty99**. **Till next time**!


	39. Party for 2

**Linda: Sup, nothing much. I'm just chilling here with my new** _ **gold**_ **iPod *sniffs* whatever, it's not a big deal.**

 **Ana: I hate you…**

 **Linda: You're just jealous.**

 **Ana: Whatever. Where's Max? I havn't seen here in awhile.**

 **Linda:…. isn't that her cue?**

 **Ana: The fuck, where is she?! She was suppose to say something.**

 **Linda: I don't know!**

 **Ana: Hey you, author. Where's Max?**

 **AN: *Shrugs***

 **Ana: What do you mean you don't know?!**

 **Linda: Aww Chucks! Who is going to give the important notice?!**

 **Max: [emo voice] alcohol… *walks away***

 **Ana: Hey! GET BACK HERE AND FINISH YOUR JOB!**

 **Linda: …. she's gone…**

 **AN: Well then. I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Ana: Apparently you don't since you didn't know where Max was.**

 **AN: *Glares***

* * *

 **Linda**

"Happy Birthday!" Max cheered-clapping her hands together.

"You're still doing this?" Zetsu asked boredly.

Max nodded her head. "Yup!"

We were all in the kitchen eating dinner when Max suddenly jumped up from her seat and took Sasuke in a crushing hug. "We Leo's need to stick together. And how could I forget, _Zetsu._ " Max took a glare at Zetsu before continuing. "We have the same birthday-kind of- I'm the 24th, while you're the 23rd."

"Is that the reason why she memorized Sasuke's birthday?" Kisame asked, whispering to me.

I shrugged. "I think so"

I honestly don't know. But it would be _hilarious_ if she did it in a romantic way! The drama, Ana would get so pissed. I mean-look at her! She's getting annoyed because Max still has her arm around Sasuke! Classic!

And it's better if she stays away from Itachi...

"My point is that it should be big" Max explained taking a seat. "I love big parties, and since you guys won't forget about it, it'll be more special! C'mon Sasuke!"

"Tobi's confused?" Tobi said scratching his head.

"Max wants to celebrate both birthdays, don't know why she hates sharing the spotlight, but Sasuke doesn't want to." Ana explained, she was in the kitchen washing dishes.

"Why don't you want to celebrate your birthday?" Deidara asked. Only to stick his tongue out at Sasuke after we all stared at him for asking and sounding like he cared...

"I just don't" Sasuke said ignoring Deidara. Max let out a frustrated groan.

"Don't be such a party pooper Sasuke!"

"Well if the kid doesn't want a party then the kid doesn't want a party." Kakuzu said not looking up from his money counting. "Besides" he added, "we'll be saving money."

"True" Pein said, siding with Kakuzu.

"Yeah Max, just have your own party. You've been so nice on celebrating ours." Konan smiled showing Max that she was on board.

"What kind of cake will there be?!" I asked jumping up and down in my seat.

"Yeah" Ana said coming back over to the dining area, "there better be velvet."

"Oh hell yeah! A medium sized vanilla cake, and a small velvet cake. Both white frosting" Max said moving her eyebrows. "I love frosting. I mean I wouldn't eat it straight from the tub, unless it's buttermilk."

"I love buttermilk!" I exclaimed.

Everyone agreed that they would at least get or do something for Max, even if it's something simple and petty, like opening the door. And we all (except for Ana) forced Sasuke to at _least_ go with Max to stall her until we got the cake and food (pasta her favorite food). And her favorite thing, alcohol... God damn it Max…

* * *

 _The next day…._

"Can you hand me the bacon Itachi?" Hidan asked shoving another mouthful of pancakes in his mouth.

Itachi handed Hidan the plate with a look of disgust as the Jashinist was shoving his face full of breakfast.

"Why the hell are you looking at me like that?!" Hidan ask showing the food that was in his mouth.

"Because you're talking with your mouth full and your eating like a pig" Itachi said, furrowing his brow.

"You didn't seem bothered by this when we were at the hideout!"

"Because we never sat together at the hideout!"

"WELL WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SITTING HERE THEN?!"

"Because you literally grabbed a chair and dragged it over here, sitting next to me! I'm sitting at the corner!" Itachi said through tightened teeth as he tried not losing his cool.

It just got real *snap* *snap*

"Hey guys I have some…" Kisame trailed off looking at the heat between Hidan and Itachi as they were still glaring at each other. "...bad news." Kisame finished his sentence and took a seat next to me. "Max has a high fever."

"How did that happen?" Sasori asked not understanding the logic of it.

Neither do I, Max yesterday was looking healthy and fresh. Hell, she was running around screaming with laughter.

"I don't know." Kisame shrugged.

"So that means no going out…?" Sasuke asked awkwardly (he doesn't talk much at the table, that's why) trying not to sound happy.

Kisame suddenly began laughing.

"What" Sasuke asked not understanding. But Kisame just continued laughing.

"Itachi, your little brother is so cute!" Kisame laughed. Itachi ignored him as he was still in a glaring contest with Hidan. "You seriously don't know Max."

"I know Max!" I raised my hand up. "But could you explain why you're laughing?" I asked confused.

Kisame sighed. "Max could be dying of cancer or AIDS and she would still come out to have fun!"

"Does that mean that Sasuke still has to go?" Deidara asked, again he stuck his tongue out at Sasuke (followed by a middle finger) when we all stare at Deidara for asking, and sounding like he cared.

"Yeah!"

"Why can't someone else go with Max?" Sasuke mutter. "Like Sasori or Deidara…. or Itachi?"

Itachi slowly looked over at Sasuke. Sasuke narrowed his eyes-looking down at his plate shyly.

"Nope!" Everyone said at once (except for Ana).

"It's okay Sasuke sweetie we'll have fun…"

We jump up staring at Max who was standing behind Sasuke.

"How The Hell Did You Do That?!" Sasori asked not believing that Max snuck up behind him also.

"I taught her that" Hidan said proudly forgetting that he was in a glaring contest with Itachi. Itachi went back to his emotionless self. Which wasn't very emotionless today.

"Off we go Sasuke!" Max yelled running off with Sasuke.

"Wait, what about breakfast?!" Ana yelled trying to stall them.

"No time!"

"ahh, Stop Pulling!"

And they left with the elevator dinging behind them.

"I hate her…" Ana muttered to herself.

"Why does Tobi think that scene looks like it could be in a movie where two lovers run off." Tobi giggle to himself when Ana grew mad, her face getting red.

"Tobi shut up you sound like an idiot." Sasori ordered.

"Why does Sasori-senpai care?"

"I don't, your just annoying. I'd rather have you not speak at all when I'm around." Sasori stated going back to reading the newspaper.

"Damn Sasori my man, the hell happen to you?" Deidara chuckled.

"You too brat."

"WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?!"

"Shut it you're giving me a headache."

"YOU DON'T EVEN GET HEADACHES! YOU'RE A PUPPET!"

"That reminds me…" Hidan thought to himself. "Could you scoot down Itachi?"

Itachi slowly looked up from his food and slowly looked over at Hidan, glaring at him. "Mangekyou Sharingan." Itachi's eye went from black to red.

Hidan blinked. "What?"

Itachi sat there eyes widened staring at an unaffected man. Unexpectedly, Itachi shot up from his seat dragging Hidan all the way over to the living room where yelling and punching was heard.

"Well that's new" Kisame said.

I stared at the doorway and looked over at Pein. He just shrugged and continued drinking his hot chocolate. Or God chocolate as Ana and I renamed it.

* * *

"It's perfect" I whisper staring at the vanilla and velvet cake.

"Perfect?! It's chocolate frosting instead of vanilla!" Deidara yelled. "Max is going to kill us…actually no she won't she's not that strong."

"I wouldn't jinx that. Hidan has been hanging out with Max in private lately." Deidara nodded considering the chance. "Besides, Max likes chocolate, what's the problem?"

"That the flavor won't go together" Konan called out putting some origami owls on the shelf by the tv.

We put up some decorations. White and red roses in a vase. Two of them for both coffee tables. We had Deidara and Konan put owl stuff around since Max's favorite animal is an owl. We just made sure that the clays weren't explosive.

The rest of us waited sitting at the couch holding a little something for Max.

"I can't believe we had to go get something for Max" Kakuzu said in disgust.

"I bought this!" Hidan yelled (he was still icing his face) "one pair got Max a present!"

"Still" Kakuzu pouted.

"That reminds me, what should we get?" Itachi asked looking over at Kisame. "In my opinion I already gave her Sasuke…"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN BY THAT!" Ana yelled.

"I just meant for the day."

"Don't worry guys" Kisame got up standing beside Itachi and Ana. "I got the present taken care of."

"What is it?" I asked. Kisame snickered.

"That's between Max and I."

I stared at Kisame in a disgusting way. "That sounds nasty…"

 _Ding_

"Mama's home!" Max yelled running down the chairs with Sasuke following behind. "No, that doesn't make sense I don't want kids when I'm older…Maxine is home!" She reintroduced herself.

I noticed that she was grabbing Sasuke by the hand. Is Ana looking? She is! I love drama!

"Why the hell is the frosting chocolate?" Max asked looking down at the cake. "Doesn't matter" she said after we didn't answer, "I like chocolate. The flavor just isn't going to blend well together."

"See!" Konan yelled. Her handed pointing at Max.

"Ohhh, owls. Sasuke what's your favorite animal?"

"Leaving…" Sasuke muttered.

"You know you could at least lighten up." Max said getting annoyed.

"You know, maybe you should have listen. I didn't want to celebrate my birthday and yet you dragged me into this." Sasuke said, he broke his hand from Max's grasp and glared at her.

"Well sorry for trying to lighten the mood with all of us mister Debbie downer!"

Sasuke let out a fake chuckle. "And you didn't seem to get it through your head when to stop. I don't even think you sick!"

"Actually," Kisame intervened. "When I checked her temperature, I thought she bathed herself in lava the night before. It was hot!"

"Why were you taking her temperature?" Deidara asked leaning forward.

"It's part of my careers."

"So you're a member of an evil organization, and a swordsman, plus a doctor?" Itachi asked.

"I also play cupid on some days" Kisame added.

Hidan walked over to the pair holding two shots of what I assume is tequila. "First round!"

"Why?!"

"Because I wanted to be nice!" Max yelled, she grabbed one of the shots and downed it slamming it on the table with a loud bang.

Sasuke growled and took the other shot gulping it down. "WHY ME!" Sasuke said with a twisted face.

"Well this is interesting" Zetsu said looking at the both of them in surprise.

"Tobi feels left out…" Tobi muttered, his face suddenly lit up. "Deidara senpai. I don't like you!"

"Ha, great!" Deidara laughed.

"Because I like Sasori-senpai's views on art better."

Deidara stopped laughing. "YOU'RE DEAD!" He jumped up from the couch and tackled Tobi beating him up.

"Well then, I guess that didn't go as plan." Zetsu stated. "Almost like Ana's cooking."

Ana walked over to Zetsu giving him a murderous look. "What did you say plant boy?"

"Plant Boy? Well that's not very nice." Zetsu said with a look of hurt.

"THAT'S NOT NICE?!"

Soon someone was arguing with someone.

Max was arguing with Sasuke. Ana was arguing with Zetsu, Itachi was unamused that Hidan was still serving Sasuke alcohol. Sasori was yelling with Kakuzu. Deidara was still kicking Tobi's ass. Pein and Konan just sounded like a dysfunctional marriage. And Kisame and I were talking about his other careers, he's a good therapist.

"ENOUGH EVERYONE SHUT UP OR I SWEAR TO MYSELF! I WILL GRAB YOU ALL BY THE THROATS AND HANG YOU WITH THREAD USED FOR FISHING!"

"Fuck you Pein!"

We all shut up and stare at Zetsu who slowly grew pale when he realized that it got quiet. "Sorry Leader I didn't mean it…"

Pein rubbed his temples and sighed. "Why are we all even arguing in the first place?" We all pointed at Max and Sasuke.

They were sitting across from each other sipping some tequila.

Sasuke slightly hiccuped. "See! Mister macho, you're already drunk!" Max shouted. Sasuke shook his head. He had his hand on his face leaning on the table to hide his rosy cheeks. To be honest they were both already drunk.

"Hidan?" Itachi asked.

"Yo."

"How many shots have they taken?"

"Well the one they're sipping at the moment is…" Hidan tilted his head trying to remember. "...eight…"

We stared at the pair as now they were slightly giggling.

"I… I'm going to bed" Ana announced getting up and heading to the stairs.

"But it's only six" I said looking at my iPod.

"I Don't Care!"

"Yeah I'm leaving also" Sasori got up and followed after.

"Me three" Deidara said getting up.

"TOBI CAN'T FEEL HIS TOBINESS!

I watched everyone leave except Kisame (who Itachi made sure to stay to watch over the two), Hidan and I.

I walked over and took the bottle from them. "I think that's enough" I said after an hour. "It's seven, why don't you go to bed so you can rest up a bit." I smiled at them. The bottle was empty. It was a big bottle, and they finished it between the two.

"Awww, but it's * _hic*_ my birthday" Max slurred.

"Yeah" Sasuke added.

I looked over at Kisame and Hidan for some help.

"Oh this is fun" Hidan snickered eating some grapes.

"C'mon, up we go" I began talking to them like they were five.

Sasuke and Max slowly raised up, but only taking the first step they both fell to the ground on top of each other.

I stared…

Max was on top of Sasuke…snuggling up against his chest. As Sasuke had an arm around her.

I blinked…

"Don't just stand there" Kisame whispered loudly. "Take pictures and use them to blackmail her. My other career was blackmailing." Kisame sniffed proudly.

As fast as I could go. I pulled out my iPod taking pictures of them. Three clear pictures in total.

Now, what do I want that Max can give me..?

* * *

 **AN: DAMN! Linda can be evil. That Kisame is not the best influence. Then again none of the Akatsuki are. And don't forget to review.**

* * *

 _ **After Hours:**_

"How you feeling?" Kisame asked walking down the stairs.

"I feel like shit" Max winced feeling as if her head would explode.

"So did you see your present?" Kisame asked sitting beside her on the couch.

"Yeah, but what did you give me?" Max asked looking around making sure that she didn't' miss one.

"Over here" Kisame got up and grabbed a small envelope behind the tv. "Enjoy…"

Max stared at the "present" Kisame was giving her. She took it and slowly opened it. There were six pictures in them.

"Oh. My. God." Max sounded out, "you didn't."

"Oh but I did" Kisame smirked.

"Kisame? Have I ever told you that I love you?"

Kisame thought for a moment. "No."

"Kisame I love you and your present."

"Hey, one of my careers was being great at giving presents."

"Oh, how did that go?" Max asked putting the pictures safely back in the envelope.

"I gave someone a pig's head."

"Was it Linda?"

"Yeah!"

"Nice!"


	40. Champagne and Wine

**Max: Deal with it…**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Man it's been a while since I wrote that (feels like it).**

* * *

 **Max**

"Tie…check. Suit…check"

"Is this really necessary" Ana asked fixing her pant leg. She didn't want to wear a dress. Actually Konan and I are the only ones wearing dresses. I was checking off the Akatsuki to make sure they were sharp and ready.

Linda also wasn't wearing a dress, because she didn't want to and she's a little sick. I was wearing a mid thigh black dress with very short boots. I just had Ana and Linda wear pants and a nice shirt. We were all headed to a black clothes theme host party. At that party one of our clients was supposed to meet us up there near a bar. Of course only one of us was going to talk to him, while the rest just "mingled" to not raise suspicion. Suspicion of what? Pein gives the weirdest orders.

"Okay let's go" I said walking towards the elevator.

As we got there we were greeted by the host herself.

"Hello and welcome, thank you for coming" the woman greeted us. She had straight brown hair and green eyes that were slightly covered with her bangs. She was wearing a long black dress with silver jewelry.

"I'm Charlotte"

"I'm Max and this is" I started from the beginning of the line to the end. "Parker, Kalel, Keith" I used the fake names from a while back (and of course the Akatsuki swore to never use _that_ jutsu again). You never know who's an anime fan these days. "Hunter, Dean, Shane, Ian, Kyle, Ana, Linda and."

 _Fuck,_ I thought to myself. The last one was Sasuke and I completely forgot to give him a fake name, which is bad cuz he looks confused as hell. Pepe? No. Ana would kill me, or just annoy me with her yelling. I turned to face the woman again with a smile. "And this is, Skyler"

"Such a pleasure to meet you all" but she seem to be busy staring at, Hidan and Kakuzu. "Well I must get going I have to greet other guest, but please have some wine or champagne." Charlotte pulled two butlers with a tray of drinks.

Now that each of us had our drinks we split up to find the bar. I looked down at my cup and sighed. It was the last cup, and it had to be wine I don't like wine. I continued looking around. The place was very nice. Well lit with chandeliers, and everything was made of marble. Floors, ceiling, random pillars. I stopped and looked around, this place was big no doubt about it. Maybe even _too_ big. That's what she said.

"Quite lonely to be a alone."

I looked up to see a guy around my age with slick black hair. "And that makes sense" I asked him chuckling. Well he did have to mingle so I can't blame him. And I guess I do too if I don't find the bar first.

Take that out of context and I sound like an alcoholic.

"Well there are no other methods of trying to start a conversation without it being awkward." He explained giving me a confident smile.

"Of course" I smiled back. I spaced him out trying to find the bar.

Suddenly a fat man moved out of the way and I caught sight of the bar. I held my gasp as I finally found what I've, and the others, have been looking for.

Without letting the guy noticed I reached for my earring that had a microphone with connections to everyone. "Shall I go to the bar?" I asked for Pein's permission.

"Hm?" the guy looked down at me confused.

"I was just saying that I'm going to the bar for a drink." I slowly turned away, heading to the bar.

"Let me just call one of the butlers" He replied back, determined to stay with me.

Damn it. "Oh"-I said uneasily-"Yeah sure…"

"Hey?" I heard Hidan through the earpiece, "where the hell is it?"

"THIS PLACE IS SO BIG!" Tobi screamed into the microphone.

I winced as a high pitch ringed through my ear.

"Damn it Tobi Stop Yelling!" Deidara yelled back.

"Yeah, cuz he's the one yelling now" Sasori replied in his sarcastic tone.

"FUCK YOU SASORI!" Deidara yelled into the piece.

"Fuck" I winced holding my ear.

"Is something the matter?" The guy asked me.

"Yeah. No! It's just my earring pinched me but it's fine." I smiled reassuringly.

"Who are you talking to?" Linda asked. Her voice sounded a little muffled.

"Little guppy, where the hell are you?" Kisame asked coming into the conversation.

"...um, not eating chocolate if that's what you're wondering."

"You're by the dessert table aren't you?" Kisame asked sounding less worried, and a little done that Linda just said where she was so stupidly.

I let out a sigh of frustration. "Hey, I'm going to the bathroom" I said walking away.

"Oh… Okay!"

I pushed past people trying to get to the bar. Surprisingly there weren't a lot of people sitting, only some old guy, and a woman drinking her pain away (heh Pein). How did I know she was drinking in depression. Well she had runny mascara and kept saying, "keep them coming" in a slurred like tone.

I took a seat far away from her and sat at the end of the table. Casually, I reached up to my ear pressing on a the earing. "Guys I'm at the bar waiting for our client to arrive" I whispered.

"Good" Pein replied, "just call us if something goes wrong."

"Sure."

"Excuse me but is this seat taken?" I looked over to see, dear Christ a fine specimen.

"Um Yeah, NO! I mean… seats open." I mumbled blushing.

"Thanks" He chuckled taking a seat next to me.

I turned my head feeling my face get even redder. Great Max way to sound awkward, why don't you just have him buy you a drink while you're at it. Nah, he's not that dumb to buy a minor alcohol.

"Yeah, I'd like a glass of brandy, for two" He looked over and gave me a wink.

I felt my eyes go wide, my cheeks felt hotter. Well then, I sometimes forget I have black magic. I gulped and sat straighter. Act natural!

"Thank you" I thanked the bartender as he handed our drinks. "So what exactly is your name?" I asked trying to keep my butterflies in control.

"I'm Jason, and what lovely name belongs to you?" Jason asked smiling, such… gorgeous smile. I almost feel bad sharing my boyish name.

"I'm Max" I muttered embarrassingly. "And before you ask, yes it is a boy name it's just a shorten version of my name." I answered before he asked, taking a sip of brandy.

"Well, I'm guessing you have to deal with that a lot when meeting new people?" He asked taking a sip from his cup.

"You have no idea."

"Chears" Jason held his cup out to me. I clinked mine with his.

"So, what exactly are you doing at this party?" I asked feeling a little more comfortable.

"Oh it's my birthday party. I'm actually waiting for someone, this party's boring" He took another sip. "I'm actually going to "relax" myself with a little something, if you know what I mean?"

"How old are you?" I asked for the sake of selling… and how far our ages were.

"I'm turning 20 today."

Five years apart.

"Ah, and what's the name of the person you're meeting? Or should I say the company name?"

"A local place, something… oh what was it called? Oh, Akatsuki Corporation? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the name."

I suddenly began laughing. "Wanna know something funny?"

"I have an idea but tell me" Jason smiled.

"Hi, I'm Max. I work for Akatsuki Corporation. It seems you're my appointment."

Jason's smile suddenly went into a smirk. "How about we go talk somewhere private then." He grabbed my hand and began leading me through a pack of people.

After wandering around through a mass group of invites and being led through sharp turns in hallways, we arrived at an office.

"Please take a seat" Jason gestured to the couch at the other side of the room. He closed the door and began raiding though a glass case full of alcoholic drinks. "So? You're the one who's going to sell me the, "goods?"

"Is there a problem?" I asked suddenly feeling bad.

"Nah, couldn't have asked for anyone better" I felt happy again.

Jason took a seat next to me handing me a drink. "So, how old are _you_?"

"It's rude to ask a lady her age" I said playing hard to get. And mainly because I'm underage and I didn't want him to find out.

"Well first things first. Did you bring the package with you?"

I nodded and opened up my purse. I grabbed a brown wrapping with the logo, 曉 Corporation. Jason pulled his wallet out and handed me the cash, I grabbed the money and handed the package over.

"Nice doing buisness" I smiled-setting the cup down I got up to leave before I felt Jason pull me back down.

"What's the rush, don't want to look suspicious for leaving too soon. Why don't we stay and talk a little longer?" He asked me, now fully turning his charm on.

"Well…" I took a deep breath calming myself. Use your acting idiot! "Please, let's keep this professional" I pressed.

"Five more minutes" Jason try negotiating.

I know I shouldn't stay, but I should also keep our clients happy. AND HE'S HOT! I let a sigh of defeat out. "I suppose five more minutes wouldn't hurt. But! Only five more minutes" I answered sternly.

Jason and I sat down, _much_ closer than before, our knees touching. "Why are you in this business?" He asked more innocently.

Annnnnnnnd. he's a fuckboy. Damnit it, why can't I find a charming guy who's nice. I Maxine will not fall for an asshole, I shall marry someone nice, worthy, even if it means my friends don't like him!

"Well I did it for money nothing else" I stated the truth. Man I sound like Kakuzu.

"Mmmm? Money?" Jason stayed silent thinking to himself. "How much money do you consider yourself?"

I stared not believing my ears. WAS HE ASKING HOW MUCH WAS ENOUGH TO GET INTO MY PANTS!? "Um? I think I should head out." I got up and turned to leave only to get grabbed again.

Jason pulled me close to him, his breath on my face. "Stay will you, let's have fun together…"

Without thinking I kneed him in the gut and ran out the room closing it. I heard him yell security and something out to me, but I didn't quite catch what he called me. I ran through people and tables. Fuck! Where are they? I grew a little light headed with the drink and the head turning as I search for the Akatsuki. Anyone. I let out a gasp as I ran into someone, falling on top of him.

"Ow… found her"

I looked up to see Sasuke groaning underneath me. "Sasuke!" I exclaimed in relief. I hugged him before getting up and helping him up too.

"Good Job kid!" I heard the famous Kisame say.

"Itachi! Kisame! You have _no idea_ how much I missed you guys!" I wrapped Kisame into a quick hug before giving Itachi a longer, nicer hug. "By the way I recommend we leave ASAP!"

"Why?" Sasuke asked rubbing his forehead.

"Um… well long story short, our client offended me by asking how much I think I was worth, money wise, for having sex. So, I kneed him in the gut."

"Why?" Itachi asked.

"Itachi!" I yelled in surprised. "He ask how much was to have sex with me, how COULD I NOT KICK HIM!"

Itachi sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I understand that it was self defense."

"Good job by the way" Kisame added.

"I just asked why we need to leave immediately?"

Red lights began flashing and alarms sounded through the room. "That's why" I pointed out.

"He Got Security On You!" Sasuke yelled at me.

"Yeah, he doesn't take rejection, does he?"

"Did you seriously just ask!" Sasuke asked yelling through the sirens.

Everyone began going crazy, screaming and running. A big group of guards began heading toward us.

"Any ideas?" I asked inching behind Kisame and Itachi.

"Run!"

I let out scream and ran behind the three. We pushed through people and took sharp turns avoiding new group of cops. "I hate to say this but where are the rest of you guys?" I asked panting.

"We don't know" Itachi called back, "but right now our main priority is getting away from them.

"Damn it" Kisame called back to us. I ran into his back when we stopped running.

"Hey why Did You Stop?!" I asked urgently.

"Look."

Were were surrounded by a big circle of cops. Jason came out of the circle, a woman walked up to him with a worried expression.

"Hey!"-I yelled at the two- "You're the host!"

"WHY ARE YOU RUINING MY SON'S BIRTHDAY PARTY?!" The woman, Jessica? No, Charlotte! Charlotte yelled at us.

"Son! Boy has been drinking all day!" I yelled tattling on him.

"What?!"

"Bitch! Get Them!" Jason screamed.

The guards ran closing in on us. Itachi swiftly grabbed me carrying me in his arms, bridal style. "What Are YOU DOING?!" I asked feeling my cheeks redden.

"We have to get out." Itachi said cooly.

Man he's so cool and hot. I noticed we were headed in the direction of a big glass window.

"Kisame" Itachi called out.

"I know I know."

Kisame pulled a scroll out of his suit jacket. Lifting two fingers his sword came out. "Oh Samehada, I missed you! I'll never seal you again okay girl!"

I felt goosebumps when Samehada purred back at him.

Kisame ran up fast, swinging his sword back he broke the window. The glass shattered and landed on the floor and outside. I gripped harder around Itachi burying my face in his neck as we suddenly jumped out. I felt my stomach tighten as we jumped out a BUILDING! After safely landing we continued running until we stopped at a crosswalk.

(Real talk girls, despite the situation. I was still thinking dirty when Itachi did that. Like, don't blame me I'm a fangirl. Also me burying my face into his neck is the most I'll ever get with him.)

I very slowly lifted my head. My hair was sticking to my face as the hot weather began making me sticky. "Where… where are we?"

"I don't know?" Sasuke answered. "Hey? Is that…?"

"IDIOT I BET IT WAS YOU!"

"FUCKING BITCH QUIT PULLING MY HAIR! I DIDN'T BLOW UP THE BUILDING!"

I soon realized that those two voices belonged to Deidara and Ana. I slowly turned my head to the left to see the rest of the group.

"Then it _MUST_ HAVE BEEN YOU _HIDAN!"_ Ana yelled reaching over and pulling Hidan's ear.

"STOP IT! FUCKING BITCH!"

"Little Guppy!" Kisame exclaimed walking over to Linda.

"Having fun there?" Konan asked referring to Itachi holding me.

"Well Itachi, yes. Why we bailed, no." I said referring to Jason.

Ana and Linda were too busy to greet me. Ana was still screaming at Hidan and Deidara, while Kisame missed his little guppy. Itachi gently set me down. I tensed up feeling all the blood rush up to my face when his hand brushed the back of my thigh.

"What's up with you?" Sasori asked walking alongside Pein.

"Can, can we go-go home?" I asked terribly stuttering.

* * *

 _Ding_

We all dragged ourselves into the house. Oh how beautiful the AC felt. Throwing ourselves on the couch Tobi switched the tv on. Surprisingly he didn't leave it on that weird "child" channel. I swear those channels are brainwashing children, that's why our generation is in danger. I laid across the couch putting my legs on Sasori's lap and my head on Itachi's lap.

"Really?" They asked in unison. I nodded my head.

"You guys are the only boys I want to deal with for now" this was addressed for the entire Akatsuki.

"Why what happened?" Ana asked.

"Pervert."

"And she handled the situation _perfectly_ " Kisame bragged, giving me a wink.

The tv suddenly flashed to the news network.

"We have breaking news on the new information about the terrorist attack. We have Robert Rodriguez on the scene. Robert?"

"Yes Maria, this is Robert Rodriguez live where a cop showdown happened at a host party. Some witness claimed that the "lovers" of terror were at the scene. Here is a picture of the duo that an artist drew for us."

A drawing of a really girly Deidara showed up, next to "her" was a younger looking Sasori.

"This is all the information we have. This has been, Robert Rodriguez. Maria?"

"Thank you for that and now, a woman grew rocks with teeth…!"

"THAT ASSHOLE YOU SHALL DIE BY THE HANDS OF ART!" Deidara screamed at the tv squishing a ball of clay.

I didn't want to deal with anymore yelling or drama. So I got more comfortable and went to sleep (gotta catch them Z's). Hopefully Itachi or Sasori will carry me up to my room like my parents use to do. Ahh childhood…

zzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ


	41. Sexual Sport

**Max: Yesss!**

 **Linda: What's up with her?**

 **Ana: She found out that National Tequila day is on the same day as her birthday.**

 **Max: *Runs around in a circle***

 **Linda: July 24?**

 **Ana: Yeah…**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. This chapter is short but there are a lot of good chapters coming out. I'm excited for what I have planned! And it's so cool to have one of my characters birthdays the same day as there favorite thing (including the trio).**

* * *

 **Ana**

"Please tell me more" I sarcastically said to Tobi.

"Really?" Tobi asked in surprise.

"No."

I was making breakfast and Tobi had come along to talk to me. The conversation was more one-sided.

"BREAKFAST!" I screamed.

Like zombies, the Akatsuki slowly filled up the table. Linda, Max and Sasuke were the last to enter. Taking their seats I began to serve everyone their plate.

"Yay…French toast" Linda said depressingly.

"You know just what to make…" Kisame followed after.

I frowned and took my seat. "What the hell is up with all of you?" I asked noticing that the only one that was in an upbeat mood was Tobi. Shocker.

"Let's start with me" Hidan began. "Not only did I not sleep well, but my back hurts."

"Cuz you're always bringing in girls…" Max mumbled, telling the reason why he lacked sleep.

"Still, bitch could have let me sleep."

"Okay?" I said weirdly. "Anyone else want to explain why they're in a sad mood?"

"I can tell you why they're all in a bad mood."

I looked over at Sasuke. "Why?"

"We were in the living room and everyone was playing on the console. After an hour or so, they finally beat the second to last level that took all of their hard work."

"That doesn't really explain why-"

"The game broke" Sasuke interrupted-finishing up. "Just as they were saving, the game froze, then turned black, then broke."

I slowly nodded my head, I understand now. I know how it feels to put hard work into a game only to have _someone_ mess it up.

"I tried so hard to fix it…" Max whispered in pain.

"I was the reason why we were able to move on. I found the key, man" Kisame shook is head.

"Money was wasted on that damn game" Kakuzu hatefully muttered.

"So close, yet…so far…" Deidara stared into the distance.

"Wait, who was playing last night?" I asked, looking around the table.

Everyone except Pein Konan, and Tobi raised their hand. I looked over at Tobi and raised an eyebrow.

"Tobi wasn't allowed near the game" Tobi answered before I asked.

"Linda?" I asked in surprise, "you played last night? You don't even like video games."

"That game was really addicting."

"Too addicting" Zetsu added.

I raised an eyebrow. "Did you two also play?" I asked looking at Itachi and Sasori.

"I slightly guided one of them through the 18th level." Sasori shrugged nonchalantly.

"I was the one who defeated the last boss, before the ultimate boss" Itachi stated. "They snatched the controller, Deidara, and tried to save but everyone started jumping around.-and well-you know the rest."

I sighed and put the last piece of French toast in my mouth. "So what are _all_ of you going to do today? Since it's a day off."

They shrugged.

"Max?" I asked for ideas.

"We can go out and play something" she suggested with a shrug.

"Like what?"

"I don't know…baseball, basketball. A sport." Max said. "I mean, it's something that we'd be able to distract ourselves with. It's really nice out."

"I guess it would be a good way to get you all out?" Pein considered the option. "You've all been crowding around that stupid game."

"We can see the flowers" Zetsu noted.

"Okay? But do _you_ even know how to play?" I asked Max.

"Did you really forget who you're talking to? I'm Max, the man of the house. Of course I know how to play sports."

"Stereotypical? Interesting…" Konan smiled.

I sighed again. "I guess if you're up to the challenge of being a coach. Then by all means, go ahead."

* * *

"Is this really necessary?" Hidan asked, stretching the collar of the jersey.

"Max?" I said looking over at her.

"Oh… I just-I can't answer that question" Max turned away avoiding my question.

The Akatsuki and Sasuke and Max were all wearing baseball jerseys. So was Linda and I. Honestly, I felt like an idiot. But Sasuke, he looked good…

"Why do I get the feeling that she's been prepared for this moment?" Kisame asked suspiciously.

"Well, I have to admit" Deidara said narcissistically, tugging on the baseball cap. "I do look good."

"Hell yeah you do."

We all slowly stared at Max.

"I mean, I um-fuck you don't judge me!" Max turned away again.

"Well get started, show us how to do this thing" Hidan said staring weirdly at the bat.

Max walked over and grabbed her bat and walked back to home base. "Okay, first things first. You can't swing a bat like you swing a sword, Sasuke Kisame Itachi Hidan. I'll teach you all how to swing when it's your turn up here." Max explained. She turned forward and pointed up ahead to a machine. "Don't touch that, only I can. That thing is to shoot baseballs at us. Because honestly I don't want to be in front of any of you." Max walked over to me and handed me a controller. "Press that when I tell you to okay?"

"Yeah whatever."

Max walked back over and held her bat like a player. "Okay, press the button."

I press the red button. The machine made some loud noises, it shot out a baseball really fast. As if she was a professional, Max hit the ball letting it fly up high.

"That doesn't look so complicated" Pein said from the sidelines. Him and Konan were sitting on a bench watching us.

"Trust me, it is."

"Aren't you going to play?" Linda asked, tying her shoes.

"No, we/I said that it would be a good idea to get _you_ guys outside."

"Can Tobi go first?" Tobi asked walking over to Max.

She shrugged. "Sure."

Tobi grabbed the bat and held it like he had seen Max do it. After adjusting some little mistakes, Max stepped back and grabbed the remote I was holding.

"You ready Tobi?" Max asked staying behind Kakuzu.

"YES!"

The machine made the same loud thumping noise before shooting a ball. Tobi swung-missed, and the bat flew back nearly hitting me. I screamed and ducked down.

"TOBI WHAT THE FUCK!?" I screamed at the masked man.

"TOBI IS SORRY, TOBI'S HANDS ARE SLIPPERY?"

"THEN TAKE THOSE DAMN GLOVES OFF!"

"Tobi doesn't want to" Tobi held his hands away from me.

"Why the HELL NOT!?" I hissed.

"Because Tobi likes his gloves" Tobi caressed his mask with his hands.

"I don't like you…" I muttered before getting up.

"But I like you Ana-chan" I glared at Tobi.

I noticed that Deidara was on the ground laughing.

"What the hell are you laughing at?!" I yelled walking over to him.

Deidara got up from the floor. "You, I'm laughing at YOU! Ha. Ha. Ha." he laughed in my face.

"Why you little…"

Deidara jumped back before I had time to kick him. He walked over and picked the bat up before walking to Max. "Let me show you how a real man plays." Deidara addressed Tobi.

"Okay? Senpai."

Max took her time showing Deidara on how to hold it. She adjusted his arms, shoulders, legs. She even wrapped an arm around to "level the bat" and fix his posture. I frowned, but decided to ignore it.

"Alright Deidara, I trust that your aim is good." Max stated taking steps back.

Max pressed the button and the ball shot out. Deidara swung the bat, it hit right under the ball, making it go high up. But it fell right back to where Deidara hit it. I began laughing and walked over to him.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE _YOU_ LAUGHING AT?!" Deidara snapped.

"I'm laughing at YOU! HA. HA. HA." I yelled at him.

"Okay I'd like to see you try" Deidara shoved the bat in my hands.

I held up the bat like how I was taught. We did baseball as one of our units in P.E. Max just fixed my posture. I was scared that the ball was going to hit me.

"Ready Ana?" Max called out.

"Yeah…" No.

The machine began making those noises again. The ball shot out-I screamed and swung the bat. Hit. The ball went to where the pitcher is meant to stands.

"Haha, Take That Goldilocks!" I stuck my tongue out at Deidara. "My ball went farther than yours, BITCH!"

"AHH, Sasori! Go Avenge Me!" Deidara snapped.

"Why would I-"

"NOW!"

"You're such a brat" Sasori muttered walking over to Max.

Again, taking her time she slowly showed Sasori on how to handle the bat. I suddenly realized something. Max + Someone in her trio + showing them how to hold a baseball = grabbing. And because it's Max, grabbing = groping. OH MY GOD! MAX IS _Sexualy,_ touching her trio (not really). I walked over to Max and slightly pulled her away.

"You nasty" I said getting to the point.

"How the hell am I nasty?"

"I know exactly why you wanted to play baseball, you nasty."

"Why?" Max asked not understanding what I mean.

"You secretly want to grope your trio-nasty" I crossed my arms.

"Why the hell would you think I would do that?"

"Like I said, you nasty" I repeated.

She rolled her eyes at me. "You know I'm right" I whisper.

To save you the trouble of being repetitive, everyone was able to get the hang of it after Sasori, well except Zetsu, he was distracted with some plants. And of course my Sasuke was able to master it. Max now wanted to play a fun-safe-game of baseball. Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, and Max were one team. Sasori, Deidara, Tobi, Linda and I were another team.

"Okidoki Sasuke!" Max called. "Which team?"

"It doesn't matter" Sasuke shrugged.

"Great!" I called out. "We could use you, Linda is basicly no player since she so bad at playing."

"Hey!" Linda ran up and kicked me before hiding behind Sasuke.

"Little-!"

"I'm pitcher!" Hidan called.

And so we all parted to different sides of the field.

"Why the hell do you want to be pitcher?" Kakuzu asked.

"Because I called it!"

"Hurry Up" I yelled, "go argue some other time."

Hidan pulled his arm back getting ready to throw it.

"Go easy, they're kids" Max called out, smirking at Linda and I.

"Shut Up!" We both snapped.

I held the bat up. Hidan threw the ball-and I barely was able to hit it. I ran to first base.

"Safe!" I yelled.

"Damn it…" Max muttered under breath as she stood beside me.

Kisame tossed the ball out to Hidan. "Don't die little guppy!" Kisame teasingly called.

"Shut up!" Linda snapped, almost whining.

Hidan throw the ball. "Fuck it slipped!" The ball went a little higher than it should have, and instead of hitting the bat it ended up hitting Linda in the forehead. Her eyes rolled back and she fell to the ground.

"OH MY GOD!" Max screamed running over to an unconscious Linda.

"Linda!" I yelled sliding next beside my sister.

I shook her body trying to wake her up. Fuck man. "Is she OKAY!" I asked panicking.

"I don't know, she GOT HIT WITH A BASEBALL-BALL! THEY'RE LIKE ROCKS, WHAT DO YOU THINK!?" Max screamed at me.

"One job little guppy, you had one job" Kisame said throwing his hands in the air.

"It's not so bad, my fingers slipped so I didn't throw it _that_ hard." Hidan tried explaining.

Konan kneel down placing her hand on her forehead. "The only one that knew medical ninjutsu in the Akatsuki was Orochimaru."

"Ewww" Max said in disgusted, "pedophile."

"What about Sasori?" Tobi asked. "How else would he be a puppet if he didn't know at least a little bit of medical ninjutsu, actually… the world may never know."

"That was actually a really smart thing to say Tobi" Pein noted.

"Tobi?" Sasori glared.

"Yes?"

"What did we talk about?"

"...never talk when Sasori senpai is around because Tobi annoys him…?"

"And what did you just do?"

"Talk when Sasori senpai was around…" Tobi mumble in shame.

"Glad we had this talk" Sasori said.

I continued staring at Linda before looking up at Sasori. "Please!" I pressed on, "won't take that long."

"Why would I? Just take her to the doctor" Sasori said, keeping up his stubborn act.

"We made a name for ourselves honey" Max stated. "We got to keep low."

"One guy isn't really making a name" Sasuke said.

"Sweety, he was rich."

"Linda hasn't annoyed you, yet" I added ignoring Sasuke and Max's conversation.

Sasori let out a breath and walked over to Linda. He kneeled down placing his hand on her forehead. GUYS THE GREEN CHAKRA IS COOLER IN PERSON!

"He got that from his grandmother" Max whispered to me.

"Obviously" I whispered back, agreeing.

"So hot" Max muttered.

"You know I can hear you two right?" Sasori asked.

"I think he had hear us-?" Max whispered to me.

Sasori rolled his eyes and continued ignoring us.

* * *

 **AN: Hehehe, oh Linda. What are we going to do with you?**

 **Max: She's knocked out remember?**

 **Ana: Yeah, you just wrote it.**

 **AN: Hey shut up. We can't talk remember? Anyways I didn't write all spring break because, Spring Break.**

 **But now I'm at school :( So Work time for me. I'm working on the next chapter, oh I love it.**


	42. Lullaby: Devil of Oz

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO (Or the Wizard of Oz), ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Linda**

My head hurts. My forehead, the back of my head, it all hurts. I groaned and slowly opened my eyes. The blurriness made it hard to see. I saw a blue skinned man staring back at me.

"Where am I?" I asked sitting up.

"You are in the land of the Devil of Oz" The man answered.

I frowned. "You mean Wizard of Oz?"

"Wizard of what?"

"Wizard of Oz.."

"Oz of what?"

"Wizard of Oz!" I said louder, getting slightly annoyed.

"Devil of what?"

"WIZARD OF OZ!" I snapped.

"...kid's high…"

"Look" I said getting impatient, "I don't know where I am, and I'd like to get home."

The man shrugged and got up. He reached down and pulled me up. "I guess I can help you. I can take you with someone that can help you. Names Kisame, I'm the guy who shows up when you need him."

I shook Kisame's hand. "I'm Linda, and I have no idea why I'm in a dress."

"Alright!" Kisame said, "all we have to do is follow that yellow brick road." Kisame pointed at the road beneath our feet.

"Why the yellow road? Isn't there any other roads?" I asked looking around. But I couldn't see much. We were surrounded by corn.

"What! You being racist to yellow things?" Kisame asked, getting offended.

"No it's not like that!"

"Nah I'm just kidding" Kisame laughed. "But it's the only road there is." He began walking away.

I sighed. I have no other choice but to follow him. "Wait up!" I called jogging up and beside him.

After a couple minutes of silence we reached a little fence. "What's that-"

"Who goes there?!" A man with slit face jumped out.

I screamed and hid behind Kisame.

"Who the hell are _you_?" Kisame asked looking as if he was judging the way the plant man looked.

"I am Zetsu. Now answer! Who goes there?" Zetsu asked again glaring at the two of us.

"Names Kisame" Kisame smiled holding his hand up. "And the little one is Linda."

"What are you two doing here?" Zetsu asked, looking suspiciously at us.

"We need to cross so I can go home" I answered in a small voice.

Zetsu began laughing-only to stop. " _You_ , pass? No! No one ever passes."

"W-why not?" I asked again.

Zetsu remained silent. "...I… don't know…?"

"Well if you don't know then why are you not letting us pass?" Kisame asked.

"I-I don't really know. Huh? I guess you can pass..." Zetsu walked away pushing past some corn, getting off the road.

Kisame and I stared at each other and shrugged. I pushed the fence open and continued walking down the yellow road. It didn't take us long before reaching a little down. Children were running down the street. Old people sitting on benches. But what caught my attention was a group of people with signs running past us, near the direction of yelling.

"What's going on? Why are there people running with signs and yelling?" I asked looking up at Kisame.

"..."

"Kisame?"

"OH. MY. GOD! ITS TODAY, THE MAYOR SPEECH IS TODAY!" Kisame grabbed my hand and ran dragging me through the streets.

We finally stopped-right in front of a big crowd and a white building.

"I can't wait for the mayor!" Two girls in front of me squeaked.

"It's starting, IT'S STARTING!" Kisame jumped up and down in excitement.

He suddenly ripped his shirt off, only to expose a white t shirt with a orange haired man on the front. I looked up to see two people walk out. A woman with blueish purple hair. And a man with orange hair with _too many_ piercings. The crowded was already screaming and fainting before he had a chance to talk. I really hope that this doesn't take too long…

"And so town. We have all done a good job with maintaining such peace. Thank you." The crowd clapped and cheered as the pierced man and the pretty woman left.

"Kisame…?"

"Yeah!" Kisame asked. His eyes shining just like a child.

"I want to go home! I thought you were going to help me?" I asked impatiently. "We've been standing for half in hour!"

"Yeah, and this is our first step."

The towns people slowly went back to what they were doing. Kisame and I walked up the steps of the mayor's office.

"He's so cool. Men want to be him. Girls want to be like Konan."

"Konan?" I raised an eyebrow.

"The woman next to him. She's around him like 24/7."

"Ah" I said nodding my head.

After getting through security (which took a while because of Kisame's blue skin) we were led down a long hallway where a brown desk was sitting. It was a simple office.

"Can I help you?" Konan asked looking up at us.

"Names Kisame, and this is Linda. We need the mayor's help because this child needs to get home. And I don't know about you, but I can tell she isn't from here."

"Okay? What does this have to do with the mayor?" Konan asked.

"We're going to visit-" Kisame turned his head side to side making sure that no one else was listening. "The _Devil_ of Oz."

Konan nodded her head. "I understand, come on" she led us through two brown doors. "Pein you have some visitors you ought to take."

The orange haired man turned away from the window and stared at us. "Who are you?" He asked us.

"Names Kisame" Kisame held his hand up. He began giggling like a schoolgirl.

"They say that they're going to help her-Linda-get home...by visiting…The _Devil_ of Oz." Konan explained standing beside Pein.

He nodded and took a seat at his desk. Pein gestured for us to sit. "You'll be needing these items before going and asking anything from The Devil of Oz" Pein pulled a list out of his desk.

"Wait"- I paused them-"why don't you guys just say devil?"

"Because it's The Devil of Oz, not Hell." Kisame explained.

"So… there different?"

He nodded his head.

"The Devil of Oz has been a acting little iffy lately. So just spoil the Devil and you should be good" Pein handed the list to Kisame. "The first thing you'll need to do is go there."

"The first thing on the list" Konan clarified.

"Wait! You just said Devil, I though you had to say The Devil of Oz?" I sassed at Pein.

"Not unless you already mentioned the name earlier in the sentence" Pein glared at me.

"How dare a nobody like you insult the great mayor" Kisame said offended.

"Hey!"

Konan cleared her throat. "Don't you two have somewhere to be?"

"Right!" I exclaimed

* * *

"Pretty shady place if you ask me" Kisame whispered down to me. I nodded.

"Can I help you?" A man with black hair asked. Next to him was a younger looking lad with slick silver hair, who was flirting with a girl.

"We need some things, we're going on a journey" Kisme said slipping the paper to the man.

I leaned in to see his name tag. "Ka-kakzu?"

"It's Kakuzu" Kakuzu glared at me. "Hidan."

"What?!" The man with slick hair who is named Hidan asked.

"Get _the_ safe."

"Wait… _the_ safe. What kind of idiot would go on a trip-" Hidan stopped and stared at us. "I'm getting the safe."

"HEY!" Kisame called out offended.

A couple seconds pass before Hidan emerged with a giant safe in his hands. Kakuzu pulled a key out of his pocket and slipped it in. Turning it he began turning the big dial on the front. Kakuzu popped the safe open and pulled two thick envelopes out. _Apprentice- The Devil of Oz_

"What are those for?" I asked staring at the different labeled envelopes.

"You're gonna need to sweet talk whoever is in charge at the time of your arrival" Hidan explained. "If the apprentice is there then you obviously give him/her the apprentice labeled envelope and vice versa."

Kisame payed Kakuzu and we walked out holding the envelopes tight. As we walked outside again and I looked up at Kisame and said. "How will we know which to give?"

Kisame shrugged.

"You've never seen The Devil of Oz?"

"No one has, no one knows anything. Not even the gender. The closest thing is a rumor that says that The Devil of Oz has long black hair and crimson red eyes."

I nodded trying to think of how this person (or thing) might look. But it was hard. I'm not very good at imagining things.

"Damn it!"

I looked over to see a black haired girl standing in front of a little shop.

"Is something wrong?" I asked walking over to her.

"It's nothing too big. I owe this cookbook shop and a couple of teenagers have been running around egging peoples shops. Mine just had to be one of them. I've been cleaning for an hour already but one of these _little bastards_ just won't come off." The girl began scraping the egg off the window.

"Wait? Cookbook shop? So you just sell cookbooks?" Kisame asked raising an eyebrow.

"Cool, I know" I girl pushed her glasses up and continued scraping. "What are you guys doing here? I've never seen you around."

"Oh we're on an adventure to see The Devil of Oz." I answered smiling.

The girl stopped scraping and turned around staring at us. "The Devil of Oz?"

"Yeah?"

"Can _I_ come?!"

"Why do you want to come?" Kisame asked, skeptically looking at her.

She shrugged. "I have nothing better to do, and I really don't feel like cleaning."

Kisame and I looked at each other and shrugged. "Sure."

"Great! I'm Ana."

"I'm Linda" I reached out and shook Ana's hand.

"Names Kisame, I'm the guy who shows up when you need him." Kisame introduced himself holding his hand up.

So the three of us began the more complicated part of the journey. We continued following the yellow road, it was really glossy for it to be concrete. Our next stop was going to a little library, I'm guessing the apprentice or The Devil of Oz likes to read. I don't know...

We arrived at a purple house with a sign on the top that said, _Stop Staring and Just Buy._ I don't know what it means? The house maybe? Ana walked up and pushed the long brown door open. It creek telling us just how old it was.

"Ah man, I really hope we don't have to deal with any creeper" Ana said with an uncomfortable look on her face.

I nodded. "I don't want to deal with an ugly bookkeeper who has warts, and red bulging eyes."

"Or a long nose and stupid looking face."

I can almost see the his nasty self.

"What if he wears a mask?" Kisame asked.

"Why do you say that?" Ana asked trying to avoid a thick spider web.

Kisame shrugged. "I've seen a lot of guys that wear masks to hide their ugliness."

We kept dodging tall stacks of books on the floor and ladders that were laying around without a care… because they're ladders.

"Who goes there?"

I squinted looking at a pair of dark figures. "We can't see you?" I called out. That came out more casual than I expected it to be.

One of them reached up and pulled a string. A light bulb lit above two people. I stared. My mouth hanging open-I kept blinking because I couldn't believe my eyes. I was WRONG! SO WRONG! I have never seen such majestic and beautiful and sexy thing in my ENTIRE life! I now understand what the sign outside meant.

"So… pretty" Ana said slightly drooling.

"Names Kisame, I'm the guy who shows up when you need him. Those two are Ana and Linda. Their ovaries just exploded." Kisame smirked.

The two frowned not understanding.

"So stoic…" I noted.

"So hot" Ana mumbled.

"So stoic and hot."

"So hot and stoic."

"What's your name?" I asked winking at the sexy one. Or, tried to. I can't wink.

"I'm Sasuke…"

"NO, the other one" I snapped.

"I like your name" Ana winked at Sasuke. Or tried to-she can't wink either.

"I'm… Itachi…"

"Hell yeah you are."

"That doesn't even make sense!" Kisame stood between the four of us. "Look, we need a book to take to The Devil of Oz. Do you have this book?"

Itachi jumped down from the ladder and walked over to Kisame reading the note. Sasuke got up from a rocking chair and took a look at the list. "I know where that book is. It's on the ninth level. In the erotic section." Sasuke pointed past us.

"It's a what kind of book?" Ana asked looking confused.

"An erotic book."

I nodded trying to end the topic. Itachi walked to the back and placed a ladder on the bookshelf. Climbing near the top he scanned around. He reached up and pulled a thick purple covered book with golden letters on the front. Itachi got down and walked back to us. "That will be ten." Kisame reached in his pocket and handed Itachi some money.

"You owe me" Kisame whispered to me.

Itachi and Sasuke went back to what they were doing before. Ana and I continued drooling.

"Lets go girls we have a mission-not really-to complete." Kisame began pushing us out the library house.

"I'm gonna miss such beautiful face" Ana sighed.

"I love that face" I mumbled ad I remembered Itachi.

"Let's Go! I want to find out which of the two likes erotic books."

Sadly we left. I really wanted to continue staring at Itachi's face but we were already coming to our destination. And I wanted to go home.

The "supposed" building for The Devil of Oz was right there. It was tall and it was slightly changing colors. Like a mood ring or something of that sort. I gulped and followed after Kisame and Ana. The three of us slowly walked up a stepping stone path with dead grass around it. Kisame reached up and ringed the bell. It was really silent… until a raggy old man answered.

"Hi…" I said in a small voice.

The old man didn't say anything. He just opened the door to us and let us in. He began leading us to some double doors straight ahead.

I felt goosebumps up my arms. "Is he levitating or is it just me?" I asked in a whisper voice.

"I see it too…" Ana whispered back.

The old man opened the two doors. Suddenly he was flung forward and fell into the hands of red head. "Do you need something?" The redhead asked. Glaring at us.

We were in a wide big room with a railing up high. There was a big chair way in front of an altar. With paintings and golds.

"We're here to see The Devil of Oz" I said trying my best to sound confident.

"DEIDARA!" A voice snapped, echoing through the halls.

"What?!"

I looked over to see a man-woman walk out a curtain looking annoyed.

"Do the thing."

"What-...fine!" Deidara scowled. He walked over to a wall and pressed a red button.

The chair that was up at the altar began turning. Until we saw the person who yelled. "Sasori what do they need?"

"Why did you ask? You know what they want, that's why turned your chair." Sasori also scowled looking very annoyed.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU LOOK NOTHING LIKE THE RUMORS!" Kisame exclaimed. "I mean you have long hair. But 1) you're a girl 2) Your hair maybe long, but it's wavy and black. Plus! Number three, you have brown eyes not red!"

"Hey!" What I assume is The Devil of Oz snapped. "I have hazel eyes, it's just hard to see from where you are standing."

"I'm sorry, I can't get over the fact that that guy was levitating off the floor" I whispered.

"He's a puppet" Sasori answered me.

"..."

"Look" Ana said, "Linda here, the small one, is trying to get home. So could you help us?" She asked as she was the only one who wasn't phased. "We brought goodies."

"Hmmm? I guess I can help. All right! First things first, I'm Max-and fuck you in advance if you say anything about my name! Sasori go get the shoe box, Deidara get the pen. And-" Max cleared her throat. "TOBI!"

"YYYYEESSSS! My lady?"

We all looked up to see a masked person leaning on a railing holding a stack of books.

"Go get me the _Home_ book" Max ordered.

Soon all three of them returned with the items they were assigned to get. "Okay" Max began reading off the book. "Linda I want you to wear the shoes that are in this box. I want you to then write down the place you want to go to on your palm."

Sasori handed me the box and pen. In exchange we handed him both envelopes and the erotic book. I opened the lid to see a pair of glittery black converse. I slipped them on and clicked the pen and wrote home on the inside of my palm. "Now what?" I asked.

"Well you snap three times and say I want to go home. And off you should go." Max explained, closing the book.

"It was fun hanging out with you" Ana said patting my back.

"Take care little one" Kisame smiled down at me.

I nodded.

"What The hell is going on here?!"

I snapped my attention forward to see someone standing behind Max. "YOU'RE MADARA!" I yell pointing to him.

"You know this guy?!" Kisame asked. "Wait a minute… you make more sense to be The Devil of Oz. Long hair, crimson eyes. Knew it." Kisame said happily, like he just solved a mystery case. "Then that makes _you_ his-"

"Apprentice" Max snapped. "And I would have gotte away with it, if it weren't have been for you meddling kids!"

"Get out my chair" Madara said annoyed.

"And this is where I leave" Ana announced.

"Um, I'm leaving!" I began snapping and chanting. "I want to go home-I want to go home! Damn it I can't snap!" I yelled getting frustrated with myself.

"Linda?"

"SHUT IT I CAN DO IT KISAME!"

"Linda…?"

"I want to go home."

"Linda?"

"What!"

"Well damn, that's not how you thank someone for healing you."

I looked around to see that I was surrounded by the Akatsuki. Max, Ana and Sasori were kneeling down beside me. "W-what happened?"

"Hidan messed his aim up and hit you with the baseball ball. And you got knocked out" Max informed me.

"It didn't happen that way. My hand slip and- you know what I don't care." Hidan said shaking his head.

I slowly sat up and looked around me. "I had a weird dream…" I muttered.

"C'mon, we better go. Before the cops show up" Itachi recommended.

"Why are the cops coming?"

"Well" Ana began explaining, "Max was bored so she tried getting some from Deidara because he looked "hot" in a uniform. One thing led to another and Deidara blew some shit up. Literally, he tried getting Max away from him and blew stuff up."

"Behind us is pure destruction" Hidan said.

Konan and Ana slowly helped me get up. "That was a Max thing to do."

"Of course it was" Deidara scowled.

* * *

 **AN: … because they're ladders…**

* * *

 _ **After Hours…**_

"So what was your dream anyways?" Kisame asked looking down at Linda.

"It was weird, all of you were there. I was trying to get home, and I was in this weird parallel universe of _The Wizard of Oz._ First was Kisame, he tried helping get home, then Zetsu tried blocking us off. Pein, you were mayor and Konan was the secretary of a town-"

"Of course I'd be the secretary" Konan muttered.

"-And then Hidan and Kakuzu were… I don't know what you guys were. But you helped us. Then Ana was an owner of a cookbook shop-"

"I can see that" Ana said rubbing her chin.

"So now the three of us were on a journey, and we met up with some book keepers. That was you Itachi and Sasuke. And we finally reached The Devil of Oz's building. And Tobi, Deidara and Sasori worked there. And guess who was the devil?" Linda asked looking around at everyone.

"Max" Everyone said together, including Max.

"Or so we thought, just as I was about to go home. But then Madara showed up. HE WAS THE DEVIL OF OZ!" Linda said all excited.

"Hey, you stay away from my Madara!" Max snapped.

"I don't even like Madara."

"Still! _HES MINE_!"

"Wow" Kisame said surprised. "Remind me to never ask little guppy about her dream every again."


	43. SMACK!

**Max: NO! Unacceptable.**

 **Ana: I believe it. I love it.**

 **Linda… I'm so confused.**

 **Max: NO! There will be NO sasodei.**

 **Ana:I don't know… I'd like to see that….**

 **Linda: Author?**

 **Max: NO!** _ **I**_ **believe in Sasori x Max, and Deidara x Max, and Itachi x Max.**

 **Linda: NO!**

 **Max: and Madara x Max…. and Neji x Max… and… Utakata x Max**

 **Ana: Just skip, this is going to take a while.**

 **Max: And Tonari x Max, and Koji x Max…**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. This is a pretty short chapter.**

 **Max: And Sebastian M. x Max, and Ciel x Max….**

* * *

 **Max**

I continued staring at the box Hidan was stretching out to me.

You know what? Let's take a couple steps back shall we. I feel as though I suddenly start in the middle of something so let me tell you what happened yeah? I woke up, changed. Went down stairs to get breakfast only to see the Akatsuki smirking at Ana and Linda. I noticed that there was a small table with tradical japanese plates and utensils. And of course being curious, I asked Pein what the deal was.

"The Akatsuki and I have been talking and we wanted to do something we would find entertaining."

"And what's that?" Ana asked skeptically.

"First take this" Hidan handed Linda and Ana a box.

I continued staring at the box. "Why?"

"No questions, Konan will help you" Kisame said through his smirk.

This was scaring me. Doing something that the Akatsuki might like or find entertaining?

xXx

"I don't know how to feel about his" Ana said pushing her glasses up as she stared in the mirror.

The three of us were forced into different colored kimonos. Linda's was a light blue with white fishies swimming around. I'm going to make a guess and say that Kisame that. Ana's was purple with lighter shades of purple flowers. Mine was navy blue (my favorite color) with white cranes on it. I still had some mixed feelings. They weren't comfortable but they were also comfortable. You get what I mean?

"So can you tell us why we're in this?" Linda asked examining her long sleeves.

"We all decided to teach you some things" Konan smiled at us.

Which made me uncomfortable.

"Let us start. Take a seat" Deidara gestured at the table.

I looked over at the girls and shrugged. I took a "seat" at the table. I kneeled down-careful on not messing the kimono up. "What now?" I asked feeling awkward.

"Pick the tea cup up and take a sip" Itachi directed us.

I gulped and took the teacup in my hands. Thank God I watch a lot of animes and Japanese dramas.

"Ew. I'm not drinking tea" Ana scowled.

In a sudden instant, Pein took a step forward and swung something. But I looked over at Ana as she held her now red hand.

"Pein what the fuck did you-" I yelped as I got hit on the back. It stung so bad.

Pein looked over at Linda. She began drinking the tea-fearing that she would get hit.

"Um. Why did you hit us?" I politely asked Pein.

"And what did you hit us with?" Ana followed.

"Well we wanted to strictly teach you how to properly behave in a situation like this. And with what? A fan…." Pein paused, "with chakra flowing…."

"When are we _ever_ going to use this-" Linda nearly dropped her cup when Pein hit her hand.

"Any more questions?'

I shook my head no. I really don't want to get hit.

Sasori set some food in front of us.

Hidan smirked at us as he opened and closed the fan. "Eat with your chopsticks now."

I sighed and took my chopsticks. I took a plate and reached for my food. I soflty blew on the piece of meat and put it in my mouth. "WHAT THE FUCK HIDAN!" I yelled as he smacked my hand.

"You forgot to say your grace!"

"YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE- OW!" My hand already has two cuts on them. Some blood was coming out.

"Idiot" Ana snorted. "OW FUCK!"

"I love this" Hidan smiled.

"Do you two even learn?" Linda asked. "Ow!"

Linda looked over at Kisame after getting hit on her back by Pein. "Kisame!"

"Sorry little guppy" Kisame laughed.

"You're hurting" I called out.

"What?"

"It secretly hurts that your little guppy is getting hit."

Kisame glared at me. "Hidan hit her."

"Ow!" I turned around glaring at Hidan. "WHY THE FU-!" Hidan smack my hand again.

I bit the inside of my lip trying hard not to scream at Hidan. I hate them I hate everyone.

xXx

"Now Ana, try drinking the tea again" Deidara said trying really hard not to mock her.

Ana,glaring, took the cup in her hands. She slowly brought it up to her lips. She slurped it, only to spit it out. "EWW! It taste like shit! FUCK!"

Sasori had smacked down on her hand. "Hey!" I called out. "The only person you're gonna smack is ME…." I slightly trailed off.

Sasori dropped the fan. "I'm done" he walked away exciting the kitchen.

"How long was that?" Deidara asked looking at the timer Kakuzu was holding.

"10 minutes and 28 seconds."

I raised an eyebrow.

"We were wondering how long it would take for you to make a kinky comment" Deidara answered.

I stared. They were betting...without me?

"Tobi's bored now."

"Yeah I'm getting bored to."

"Let's go" Hidan called walking out.

I stared as the Akatsuki walked out leaving us.

"Clean up" Pein ordered. He walked away heading back up to his office.

"I hate them" I muttered.

"Fucking assholes" Ana followed after.

"My back hurts" Linda mumbled.

"Pretty smart idea though."

"Interesting way to give pain" Ana raised an eyebrow.

"Pein" Linda muttered.

* * *

 **AN: I told you it was short. The next one is longer though. So how was your guys's day. Mine was funny...and a good reason to go to church. But yeah, I just wrote some really funny idea. I laughed at my idea way to long…. Ps there's an after hour.**

* * *

 _ **After hour**_

"Ow! Sasuke be more gentle!" Max hissed glaring at the other teenager.

"Maybe if you'd stop moving around it wouldn't hurt as much!" Sasuke equally snapped.

Max scowled and narrowed her eyes. Sasuke continued. He gently dabbed the cotton ball in alcohol making sure that it didn't overflow and softly dabbed it on the back of Max's hand.

"How long are you going to stay mad?" Kisame asked-begging for forgiveness.

"Until my cuts heal!" Linda snapped-while pouting.

"It wasn't like that little guppy!" Kisame whined wrapping bandages around Linda's hand. Remember, his other career was being a doctor.

"I am NOT your little guppy anymore!"

Kisame's jaw dropped. "Oh now you didn't."

Ana slightly squirmed as Konan adjusted the Kimono.

"Konan can I ask you a question?" Ana asked looking over at Max and Sasuke.

"What's that?" Konan asked putting the first aid away.

"Do you think something's going on between those two?"  
Konan chuckled. "No, I think that Max is just trying to include Sasuke into the craziness. Mainly because he can't escape it. Max just thinks of Sasuke as a best friend. In a unhealthy way."

"Why do you say that?"

"Thank you Sasuke, could you bandage my back?" Max ask turning her back to Sasuke.

"But that would require you to take the kimono off."

Max stayed silent. "Okay…?"

Sasuke dragged his hand down his face in slight frustration.

"I see it now" Ana sighed. "God damn it Max."


	44. El Chapo

**AN: Well this is awkward….I wrote this around October. Just-Just imagine that he wasn't caught….just act like nothing happened and you don't know nothing on the news.**

 **I'm keeping this chapter because I like it.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Linda**

Today we were all called into the meeting room. Because that's where you hold meetings right. Pein had called us in to think of other ways of getting money. So far all we've done is sit in our seats with a blank projector. Looking stupidly at each other.

"We can sell some shit" Deidara spoke first.

"And what would we sell?" Pein asked. He rested his forehead on his hand, can't really say he's in a pleasant mood today.

"Well I don't know, at least I fucking suggested something" Deidara yelled getting pissed off.

"We can sell cookies?" Ana joked.

"Girl Scouts" I couldn't help myself.

"You" we all looked to where Pein was looking at.

At the end of the table Max was typing on a computer ignoring us.

"What do you have there?" Pein asked slowly, which made me a little uncomfortable.

"A computer" Max said not even looking up.

"Are you typing stuff?" Kisame asked using the same tone Pein was using.

"Uh-huh"

"Whatcha, looking at?" Ana joined in.

Max sighed and looked up from the screen. "I'm looking up ways of making money. Wasn't that the whole reason we're here?" Max continued typing.

"And do you have a solution?" Kakuzu asked, not really believing her.

believe it….sorry…

"Yes, yes I do" She announced proudly.

"What is it?" I couldn't help but asked.

Max stood up and connected the computer with a cord from the monitor. She turned on a PowerPoint. "What I thought would be a good way of getting money would slightly be traitorous. The helping way, the selfish way…the Max way" Max smiled at us.

"Go on" Hidan said slowly, cheering her on.

"Well, we can use each one of your ninja abilities to look for missing people/pets that have money rewards. But we can do one that will be worth billions." Max pressed to the next slide.

"Hey El Chapo" Ana called out.

"Correct Ana, the authorities want him. And he has an estimate of $2 billion dollars on him"

 **(like I said, forget the news…)**

"Well done Max" Pein said.

"And who exactly is…this man?" Itachi asked-using a short pause.

"El Chapo Is a highly wanted drug lord that has escaped prison twice."

"And what exactly are we going to do?" Konan asked.

"We find him, kidnap him, give him to the authorities get money, done!"

"Easier said than done" Sasuke muttered.

I looked down for a moment wondering if there are other solutions. Trying to infiltrate a highly wanted drug lord scared me. Hey shut up I'm 12 I have the right to be scared. I'm not hardcore like the others.

"Linda you're quiet, do you have any other idea" Pein asked me.

I looked around. "No" I said quietly.

"Well I've divided up the work" Max said.

"Ugh!" Most of us groaned including me.

"Yeah you have to work" Max said in a sarcastic tone.

After the work being handed out the Akatsuki went back to whatever they do. Max, Ana and I stayed.

"Really?" I asked looking over at Max.

"What? It's a good idea" Max defended herself.

"Well" Ana started, "good idea that's just willing to go bad."

Max rolled her eyes and got up from her seat. "Trust me on this."

"That's where I'm worried" I whispered to Ana.

* * *

Finally the day arrived, I was really scared and nervous my palms were sweaty, I had an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach. Max tucked in a pistol under her shirt.

"What's that?" I asked-my voice was slightly shaky.

"Nothing-nothing" Max brushed my question off. "Just some safety precautions that should be enforced."

I stared not really liking the idea of going in a shooting battle or war.

"Let's go" Max and Pein ordered.

We flew on one of Deidara's clay birds. It lasted about three hours. Some how we located him. I fell asleep probably because I was stressed out. And I ate ramen for breakfast which makes me sleepy. As Ana woke me up I noticed the location was very nice. In the mountains to be more specific. We were on a vegetation that had really nice grass and some wild horses.

"All right do you all remember the plan?" Pein asked. Him Konan, Kakuzu, Itachi, and Max we're going inside to kidnap him and keep watch for their group. While Deidara would be keeping watch from the sky. Ana, Sasuke, Hidan, Sasori, Kisame, Zetsu, Tobi, and I were spread around to keep watch.

I was keeping watch with Kisame(Ana had Kakuzu), I was kinda bored, and everything was quiet. Well that must be good news that things are going smoothly. Right? I continued looking at the horses. They were running around, their hair blowing in the wind. Man that sounds weird. I almost sound like Orochimary.

"Linda" Kisame said seriously.

"What?" I ask looking up at Kisame.

Kisame slowly and subtly reached for Samehada. I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I gasped as I suddenly got hit my something. That's how I got knocked out...again.

I felt something hard and cold against my cheek and the right side of my body. I slowly opened my eyes. I realized that I had been laying on the floor.

"Ya se despertó la niña" some man said.

I slowly raised myself to sit up. My head pounded inside my skull. I need to get rid of my problem of getting knocked out before it turns into a habit. I looked around, all 14 of us were here. We were being circled in by Mexican men with guns. After looking past some people my eyes fell upon the great man, the whole reason we're in this mess. There stood El Chapo Guzmán. Oh God.

"Porque están aquí, oh mejor, porque enteraron a robar me carbones?!" I may or may not feel like crying.

Max slowly spoke trying keep everyone and the hit man calm so he wouldn't kill us. I slightly rocked myself. I looked up at Ana, her lips barely moving. She was probably telling Itachi something, because he nodded his head ever so slightly.

"Akatsuki" They turned to look at Itachi. But the men all pointed their guns in his direction. I flinched, there was a lump in my throat, I bit the inside of my lip to keep myself from crying. The Akatsuki turned forward.

"Linda" Konan said not looking at me.

"Max" Hidan said.

"Ana" Kakuzu said.

I was really confused and it wasn't helping my nerves.

"Scout" Pein said.

"Scout? Who's Scout-what the hell?!" In a blink of an eye, I was suddenly on the lower level of the room, hiding behind metals and other stuff. The men were shooting over the railing above us. Konan still had her arm around me. "How did you guys know?!" I yelled through the loud noise.

"Well I asked Itachi if he could pull the Akatsuki in a genjutsu to tell them a plan that I had. Each Akatsuki member should grab, you me and Max!" Ana yelled out.

I stared, I suddenly felt like throwing up. Tell me, do you guys feel like throwing up when you get into a gun fight with drug dealers?

"Akatsuki! Move out to that side" Max screamed trying to be louder than the guns. She pulled her pistol out and began shooting too. I really felt sick. I put my hands in my ears and tried to block the noise out.

"Why does this remind me of GTA, heat code Akatsuki?!" Ana yelled.

"#Relatable" Max jokingly yelled back.

I just wanted to go home. The only comfort I had was Konan's arm was still around me.

"All Right You Guys, You Half Go Into The Hall Way With A Door That Leads Outside, Then We Go!" Max yelled.

"Why do they go first" Deidara whined. He was sitting next to Max, well more like cowering behind her.

"Because I have a gun" Max pointed out like it was obvious. "Now!"

It felt like everything went in slow motion. Like in the movies, only this was real-and not as cool (sad face). As we made it to the hallway I turned around to see the other group was coming over. Konan kept pulling me. Guns fired, but one made me stop. A shiver was sent down my spine. Slowly I turned around. Max stood there shocked, her skin paled. I gasped, I looked all over her, she didn't seem hurt. Max took a side step and turned around. Deidara stood shock, he looked down at his stomach. A redness spread out on his shirt.

I screamed. And when I screamed everything went back to its fast normal pace. Konan pulled me running behind her. I looked back again. But I didn't see where Max and Deidara had gone. To take cover I assume. We ran outside I ran trying to run as fast as my legs could carry.

"We need to get Max and Deidara" I stopped to tell them.

"I have an idea" Itachi said. Sexy.

"Kisame" Kisame looked over and nodded.

The pair took a step and did hands signs.

"Fire Style: Fire Ball Jutsu"

"Water Style: Water Bullet Jutsu" Itachi and Kisame announced at the same time.

Both jutsus shot out. But before it hit the building, they hit each other creating a huge thick misty smoke.

"Way to go jackasses, you missed" Hidan said clearly not afraid of them.

"We purposely did that so we could make a big smoke screen that would last quite a while" Itachi explained glaring at Hidan.

"Well done, Itachi Kisame" Pein congratulated them. He turned to the rest of us. "Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, go after Max and Deidara. We'll unite soon."

All three left.

We continued running. Konan was carrying me on her back. Kisame was carrying Ana.  
"They hurt senpai…they hurt Deidara-senpai" Tobi wailed.

"Shut up" Kisame and Ana yelled. We slowed down into a jog.

"Pein."

I turned around. Max was on Hidan. And Kakuzu and Sasori struggled with Deidara.

"Good."

We all entered the forest to hide better. Sasori threw Deidara in a puppet to make things easier. And there were quite a lot of no, no words.

"A shed" Sasuke pointed.

We all cautiously entered it. The shed seemed bigger than it looked, it could fit all of us in and some extra space. Are you sure this isn't an abandoned barn Sasuke? Sasori opened his puppet out and Hidan and Kakuzu helped lay Deidara down.

"Sasori you bastard!" Deidara yelled, but flinched.

"I could've kept you there" Sasori replied nonchalantly.

Deidara was about to yell something but yelled in pain instead.

"Okay everyone stay calm!" Max yelled.

"Speak for yourself" Hidan muttered.

"You're going to need to take the bullet out, fix his organ or whatever, clean him sew him up and your good" Max smiled.

Sasori rolled his eyes and opened a scroll pouch that had knifes and scrapes. They removed Deidara's shirt and had him bite into it. They used his cloak as a pillow for him to lay his head on. I looked at Deidara with concern-then at Max, only to give her a are-you-serious face. It was the _way_ she was staring at Deidara.

"What…you'd stare of you were in my position."

I walked away I didn't plan on watching. Although I wasn't watching I was still able to hear _everything_. The knife cutting into the sticky flesh, the room began to smell like metal, the groans. I covered my ears, I grew sick. I ran and swung the only window open for fresh air.

After an hour of sitting they were done.

"Kakuzu" Sasori said, which sounded more like an order.

Kakuzu stitched and bandages Deidara up. I was sitting with my knees up and my back against the wall. On the right side was Pein, Konan, Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, Sasori, and Tobi. Next to me was Ana laying down trying to sleep. In one left corner Hidan was sleeping, in the other Max and Sasuke were having a quiet conversation. Which was weird since they've been arguing all week.

I scanned the room again. I noticed something that I did realize before.

"Hey" I spoke slowly. "Where's Zetsu?"

Everyone stopped what they were doing. And looked around.

"Yeah where is that shit?" Kisame asked.

Suddenly the floor opened and Zetsu slowly came out. "Heeeeeellloooo there" he laughed. Which was scary. There was some blood and flesh on his mouth and lips.

I grew nauseous again and ran to the window. I threw up like a waterfall. I'm never doing this again understand. I hate this. You all disgust me.  
The End.

* * *

 ***VERY IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE***

 **Let's get the funny thing out the way. I put the Spanish sentence in google translate. Hahahahahahah! Man was it funny!**

 **Don't look it up, that was Spanish slang from Mexico. It's not even close. Ask your Mexican friend or something.**

 **Now to the "serious" stuff, not really.**

 **I was looking back at my other chapters and...god damn are they cringe worthy. Like so cheesy or just-cringing. So I though to myself and I said I would go back and clean up...like a lot of my chapters. Mostly the first ones. The problem was that I couldn't fix them because I had gotten rid of the documents to conserve space, but thank the gods that I was able to restore them.**

 **I did this so to any "new" comers to the story, so I wouldn't bore them. I might get rid of a chapter or two, the ones that have nothing to do with friend ship development and are just plain unnecessary. I'm also going to make them longer so yeah.**

 **So in the mean time, PLEASE DON'T REREAD THE FIRST COUPLE OF CHAPTERS! I'M BEGGING YOU! Also I don't know if I'll be able to post at the end of the week, probably should. I'm just saying I'll be busy doing, _spring cleaning_...**

 **No...okay.**


	45. Cracking

**Linda: Okay places everyone!**

 **Max: What's up with her?**

 **Ana: No clue.**

 **Linda: I have been waiting for this day to come. You don't understand just how long I've waited for this.**

 **Max: Is it ice cream day?**

 **Ana: Is it suddenly your birthday? Because I don't remember.**

 **Linda: Nothing of the sort. Let's not waste time, shall we?**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Max: Whoa, she sounded formal just now.**

* * *

 **Max**

"OMG! You are so annoying!"

" _I'm annoying_ , you should look at yourself."

"Yes. _You_ are, you constantly start all the fights!" I snapped at Sasuke.

Everyone in the Akatsuki slammed their heads against something because of how much they were getting annoyed right now.

"How long?" Hidan asked through the pillow that he was stuffing his face in.

"Three minutes and nine seconds" Kisame said looking at the stop watch in his hand. "That's the time it took for them to start another fight."

"You see what you did?! Now the Akatsuki are recording our _discussions_ " I emphasized discussion for Kisame to show him that we weren't fighting-just having a loud conversation.

"ME!? I didn't do anything!" Sasuke yelled back at me.

"You are so lucky you're good looking or I would have already punched you in the face! And because I'm trying to get with your brother" I added.

"ITACHI!" Everyone screamed simultaneously.

"Get your girlfriend wanna be and your idiot brother! They're annoying!" Deidara yelled. He was laying on the couch opposite of Hidan.

For those of you who care. Deidara has been doing well, the healing is going smoothly since he got shot. I was the one who brought him out to socialize. I think he's regretting ever listening to me.

Itachi poked his head in the living room before fully entering. He stood a good distance from Sasuke and I. "What are they fighting about this time?"

"We don't know" Linda answered holding a notebook open. "They argued so much that I lost count of the reason on why they were yelling." I noticed that Linda was playing a game of tic-tac-toe with herself.

"I see" Itachi mumble. He slowly backed away-inching back into the kitchen.

The elevator dinged and Pein stepped out with Konan behind him. "Okay little fuckers" Pein called all of us out. I think he's mad by the way he called us. "We have to go out to a trade that is pretty far away, all of us. We'll be leaving in an hour. The only problem is that we'll be one man down because Deidara's acting like a little girl."

"I GOT SHOT IN IN MY STOMACH BY SOMETHING THAT I'VE NEVER DEALT WITH!" Deidara yelled defending himself.

"Whatever" Pein said. "Where's Ana?"

There was an awkward pause before we heard yelling.

"Get your hands off me Uchiha!...I don't care! I'm not going out there with those two being more annoying than ever!" Itachi walked in again with Ana slung over his shoulder. He set her down and Ana looked over at me pointing. "Fuck you!"

"I didn't do anything?!"

"Just fuck you" She continued yelling.

Konan stepped forward calming us down. "Look, I know today we all seem to be on different pages-"

"More like different Chapter" Zetsu pointed out.

"But we need to leave our discussions a side and go on this mission. We're going to be doing a lot of negotiating."

When Konan finished we all nodded and kept silent.

"We can handle that" I playfully punched Sasuke's arm.

"I can" He snorted.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"Nothing" Sasuke shook his head.

"They're gonna do it again" Kakuzu muttered glaring at us.

"No tell me" I urged him.

Sasuke glared at me, "I just said that I'm able to handle that, but I'm not so sure you can."

"What the fuck Sasuke! See?! There you go again starting all the fights, and then you try to pin them on me!" I yelled at him.

"You asked for it, literally!"

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" The entire Akatsuki yelled.

* * *

The fourteen of us stood on the subway platform waiting for the train to arrive. We had to figure out another way to get to our destination since we didn't have Deidara with us. So I just looked up directions for us to go on the subway. After that we'd have to walk a little bit to get to our destination. And by a little I mean a lot.

"Train 2324 is approaching the station."

The train slowly came-screeching to a stop. All of us walked through the doors. It was surprisingly empty. I think it's because people are busy this time in the house or in the office. Or whatever people do.

"Okay Pein, lay it down" I said waiting to hear the plan.

"We have to go do a plan with an old client, I'm sure you Hidan and Kakuzu would remember who it is."

"I don't know" Hidan gave up without thinking too hard.

Pein sighed. "It's the father who asked to kill his sissy son."

"Oh" Kakuzu said remembering. "Was it Mr. Shady taco place?"

Hidan and I shuddered. "We're not going to prison…"

The train stopped and two more people got on ignoring our big group.

"What exactly happen?" Sasori asked me.

I leaned back in my seat recalling back to what happened two months ago. "Well, let's just say that I never intended to see live action yaoi."

"Yaoi?" Sasori asked confused.

"You see Sasori, when a man loves a man they-"

"Okay we get it!" Hidan cut me off. I think he's remembering the incident and the time he read the fanfiction out loud.

"Wait that doesn't make sense?" Konan said.

"Well trust me, I didn't know how men had sex either but then I met-"

"Not that" Konan cut me off. "How did you get into the men's prison if you're a girl?"

"Oh, well let's just say names confuse people."

"Yeah they do" Sasuke snorted.

"Fight me Sasuke, fight me" I said looking over to Sasori's left.

"Tobi thinks the both of you should calm down. Violence won't solve anything" Tobi said looking at the both of us.

There was quick moment where we all stared at Tobi.

"You can't say that Tobi. You're in the Akatsuki, so shut the fuck up" Hidan pointed out shutting Tobi up.

The train stopped and we all got up exiting-pushing past the group of new passengers. I led everyone out the station and back onto the upper level. I grabbed a map and began examining it. The road we were looking for was going to lead us to the countryside. Where it's all sandy and dirt and shit.

"Okay!" I called for the Akatsuki's and the girls attention. "All we have to do is follow this road and we _should_ get there."

"Who made you leader?" Ana asked me.

"Well… I can read a map fuck you!" I turned and began walking through alleys to get to the other side of the street.

We took a bus as far away from the city as we could go. Stepping off I noticed an interesting sign. With graffiti written over it.

 _Bill Nye the Science Guy!_

"I'm just going to ignore that" I muttered to myself.

xXx

"And you're sure this is the place?" Hidan asked looking skeptically at the bricked building ahead of us.

"Yes I'm sure" Pein confirmed.

We walked up to the building and stood by the front entrance.

"Do we knock or is there a doorbell?" Linda sarcastically asked examining the entrance.

"Or should we have called?" Itachi asked. I didn't think he was able to make sarcastic comments.

Kisame shrugged and banged on the door. I'm telling you this now. We got a treat the minute the door open.

"What? Who goes there?!" A dark skinned man came jumping at us.

"Um we're from Akatsuki Corporation" I slowly spoke to the man, trying hard not to stare at the white powder on his nose.

"What'cha names?" The man asked.

"Uh...I'm…" I paused for a moment. "I'm navy blue" I blurted out.

"You did not" Hidan called out.

The man walked out showing his full body. He was wearing baggy clothes and carrying a gold pistol. "Name Craig" Craig introduced himself. "What are your friends names?" He asked taking a sniff.

"This is orange (Pein), that's Purple (Konan), he's black (Itachi), blue (Kisame), red (Sasori), silver (Hidan), green (Kakuzu), mask boy (Tobi), plant man (Zetsu), baby blue, he's emo (Sasuke), and that's sprinkles (Ana)." I introduced the rest. Sasuke gave me a hard glare.

Craig suddenly swung his gun around yelling, "MAN I _LOVE_ ME SOME SPRINKLES!"

"I think Craig is on crack" Linda whisperd.

"Come on in" Craig opened the door for us to come in. "Love me some sprinkled, sprinkles are fucking awesome man!" He gave a loud sniff again.

Kisame snorted. "Craig the crack head."

The building looked just like it did in the movies. A lot of space-sketchy as hell, and a lot of junk in unnecessary places. I suddenly winced as Sasuke gripped my arm.

"Really?" He asked glaring at me.

Clapping echoed-so it cut me off. Rude.

"I have to thank you. If it weren't for you guys, or who ever did it, I would still have a bitch of a son that isn't mine."

The blonde haired man stopped in front of us. He tucked his hands in his pocket smiling evilly at us. "Tucker, call me Tucker. And to whom do I owe such thank you?" Tucker asked.

Hidan slowly raised his right hand and with his left he pointed at Kakuzu. "Us. And let's not forget navy blue." Hidan chuckled and jerked his thumb in my direction.

Tucker looked over in my direction and gave Sasuke and I a weird look. When he was talking we both argued quietly. I had my hand around Sasuke's collar and he was gripping both my arms probably ready to strangle me. We let go of each other and straighten up.

"Yes I am also the reason why he went...insane."

Tucker let out a laugh. "Okay let's get down to business."

"Wait" Craig the crack head intervened. "What'cha mean insane?"

"Oh yeah? Dude was like; "I'M GOING TO BLOW THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLACE!" You had to be there" I laughed.

Craig the crack head startled laughing. "That sounds like him!" He began laughing carelessly swinging the pistol around.

"Okay" Sasori said dodging Craig the crack head's moves.

Tucker frowned at us. "What do you mean? So you didn't kill him?"

"Well" I truthfully replied. "I didn't personally kill him. He flipped out and pulled a grenade or bomb whatever. And blew the place up."

"So I could've pissed him off to the point that he'd kill himself?"

I nodded.

"So are you telling me I wasted money-not only to pay for you guys to kill, but also the bail money?!"

"No refunds" Kakuzu said.

"So I could have gotten rid of that bull shit of a kid as easy as doing it over the phone?!"

I slowly inched behind Sasuke. "Y-yes."

Tucker suddenly pulled a gun out of his pants (like in the movies) and pointed at me. "Don't worry about the money, I have other ways of getting paid back." He put two fingers in his mouth and whistled. Other men began coming in.

The fourteen of us inched closer together.

"Way to go maybe you should have been more useful and shut your mouth up" Sasuke mumbled to me.

"Maybe you shouldn't be such an asshole, huh!" I began yelling at Sasuke.

"Are you seriously going to fight now?!" Pein asked glaring back at us.

"It's love I tell you" Kisame smiled at the both of us.

"NO!" Sasuke, Ana and I yelled.

"Why do you say that?" Linda asked. Kisame leaned down and whispered something because Linda pulled her iPod out. "Oh that thing...I agree."

Okay so maybe it wasn't the time to argue with Sasuke. But I have to figure out how to leave. We could use the unnecessary junk to our advantage.

"Looks like we're going to have to push our way through" Itachi noted.

"We got to push-on-through!" I jumped up and down.

Sasuke gave me a weird look. "Do you sexualize everything?"

I shrugged. "Do you have to make everything all pitiful?"

"That's it I'm killing you when we're out of here" Sasuke threw his hands up.

"Guys" Linda called us.

"See the Akatsuki already made it to the other side!"

"Yeah how did they do that?" Sasuke asked getting off topic.

"Weird…" I muttered.

"We don't have time for this" Sasuke grabbed onto my wrist.

Just as Sasuke and I were about to run we heard weird metallic noises. Chains and links clinking together. Suddenly a chain came slinging around Sasuke and I. You know Spiderman and his web shooting? Just imagine that but with chains.

"Ah, they're trap" Tobi exclaimed.

"...Well see ya" Hidan broke the nearest window and jumped out with the rest of the following members. Konan grabbed onto Linda and turned into paper fleeing.

"Peace" Ana called out before diving out the window. Literally, it looked like she was a swimmer (even her hands were formed like a swimmer) and just dived out!

"Ana you fucking bitch! COME BACK HERE AND HELP US!"

Tucker walked over and hit me against the head with his gun.

* * *

"Ow" I groaned. I blinked multiple times trying to adjust to the darkness. "What happen?"

"We were thrown into a closet" Sasuke answered me tiredly. "Pretty big, it can fit the both of us comfortably with extra room."

"So…" I paused for a moment. "It's just you and me, in a closet tied up." I stated.

"Yes?" Sasuke said not really understanding it.

"Never mind. Do you think you can get us out of these chains?"

"I could try, but we'd both have to work together."

I nodded-Sasuke probably didn't see it. "Okay so how do we get out?"

There was a short pause as Sasuke thought to himself. I stayed silent sitting on the floor. For some reason my heart was beating harder than ever. And my hands felt a little sweaty.

"Max."

"Huh-yeah?"

"I think I have an idea, but it'll be kind of hard to do" Sasuke began shuffling around trying to turn himself. We were back to back so that made it a little harder.

"Ow, so are you going to tell me your plan or what?" I asked trying not to get in Sasuke's way.

"I feel like I shouldn't. So just stay put" Sasuke demanded. He continued moving around.

Sasuke stopped right when he faced my back. I felt heat growing on my on my cheek. "Okay you're going to…" he slightly trailed off. "You're going to sit on my lap" he muttered awkwardly.

"Well that escalated quickly."

"Shut up and do as I say!" Sasuke snapped in a whisper voice.

I shrugged and ignored the butterflies in my stomach. I tried getting on Sasuke's lap but the chain began digging on my hip. Sasuke reached out holding onto the chain pushing it away from me-barely touching me.

Lighting zapped through the metal and broke. I face palmed coming to realize that we could have chidori the men. I got off Sasuke and placed my hands around trying to feel my way out.

"It seems they sealed the place off" I nodded agreeing with Sasuke. "Also, could we not tell people what we did to get out?"

"My lips are sealed" I reenacted the mouth zipper action. _Like that other thing,_ I thought to myself.

"I think I can use a fireball to get us out" Sasuke frowned examining the walls. "Shouldn't be hard."

An odd thought came into my head.

" _He's just being mean to you because he like's you. I mean why else would he go out of his way to be with you" My five year old self smirked._

I slid down sitting on floor hugging my knees. Talk about role reverse.

"You know Sasuke, some people are forced into a closet to talk things out" I let out a dry laugh.

"Really?" He asked, not really caring. Sasuke sat down next to me looking around.

"Yeah. So let's Dr. Phil this. Why do you think we fight so much?" I asked placing my hand on Sasuke's shoulder.

"Maybe you like to argue with me and annoy me?"

"Hey! It's out of love" I smiled. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at me. "Not that kind-more like tough love, with your friends."

"Right" Sasuke nodded not believing me.

"Which reminds me, how are we going to get revenge on those son's of bitches?" But just as the question left my mouth I was already smiling evilly. I had the _perfect_ plan. "Nevermind, I got this."

"What about you? Why do you think we argue so much?" Sasuke asked me.

I let out a short laugh. _Looks like things might come earlier._ "This line keeps playing in my head from when I was five. I use to say that if a boy was mean to you than he liked you" I shrugged.

Sasuke slowly turned his head facing me. "D-do you like me?"

"W-w-what?!" I exclaimed. "Why would you say that I wouldn't-"

"You're blushing" Sasuke pointed out. Stupid Uchiha eyes!

"I AM NOT!" I pouted. "...why?" I asked after a pause. "What would you do _if_ I did like you?"

"First it wouldn't really be logical since you yell and insult me, second you have a long list of anime "boyfriends/lovers" so I'm guessing it's nothing special" Sasuke shrugged. "But there is that little sense that people have that by being mean they'll trick themselves into thinking they don't like a particular person."

I slowly lifted my eyes off the floor looking at Sasuke. "What if it's a special case?" Sasuke didn't reply.

I gulped feeling my just how dry my throat was. I slowly leaned in making the distance shorter. I reached up-gently placing my hand on Sasuke's cheek. Sasuke stared surprised at me but motionless.

"I think I love you."

* * *

 **Linda: That's it! That's what I've been waiting for! Drama I love it!**


	46. Oh Hell NO!

**Linda:(sings) I love drama, it's so awesome and stupid.**

 **Hello! Come on children gather around. We must continue with the show. Intermission is over.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **I put two chapters together. You'll see**

* * *

 **Ana**

I stopped running. I pushed through the doors and slammed my hand against the button. I walked in with the rest of Akatsuki. When the elevators opened we got out and walked down the stairs to the living room.

"Back already?" Deidara asked us. "I was _just_ getting comfortable" he sighed.

"Shut up Deidara you had about half an hour of alone time!" I snatched the control from his hands.

"Plus I'm sure you had _plenty_ of time to get off" Kisame added.

"I wasn't- I didn't do anything like that!"

"What are you doing?" I asked as the Akatsuki took a seat on the couch. "We have to go back to get Sasuke and Max."

"Wait" Deidara began, "you guys forgot Sasuke and Max?"

"Not exactly."

Deidara suddenly began laughing throwing his head back. "Y-you forgot emo kid and girlfriend wanna be?! Hahaha" He continued laughing almost falling off the couch. "You glaring at me makes it so much funnier!"

I continued glaring at Deidara as he wiped a tear away.

"Okay-okay, what happen this time?"

"Well Max and Sasuke were arguing again and distracted themselves so they got caught, idiots" Kisame explained shaking his head in disappointment.

"Whatever we can get them later" Sasori shrugged taking the control from my hands. He flipped through the channels looking for something to watch.

I frowned. "What do you mean later?"

The Akatsuki exchanged awkward looks.  
"We just think this is a good thing that they're captured for a couple minutes" Pein said.

"I mean-we get some quiet arguing free time" Konan pointed out. "We can get them in five minutes."

"Itachi?" I asked looking over to see what Itachi had to say about this. He just lifted his book up covering his face. "Itachi?!"

"Come on Ana we doubt anything is going to happen to them. Plus we won't know when we'll have another peaceful time" Linda tried persuading me. "So you need to like-relax. Because you're ruining my vibes."

I crossed my arms and sat on the couch. "Fine."

"Yay! Tobi can finally have some peace!" Tobi threw his hands up in celebration.

* * *

I rolled my eyes. "Are you still going to act like a brat?" I asked looking over at Deidara, who was sitting in front of me.

"You know what? YES, I AM!" Deidara yelled back at me. He turned forward guiding his bird again. "First I get shot, then I have to deal with the two annoying little kids. Now this!" Deidara continued complaining.

"Deidara, shut the fuck up and stop complaining like a little girl!" Hidan yelled over to us, getting annoyed.

"Hi Ana!" Linda yelled waving her hand around from a different bird. "I'm on a clay bird!" she laughed like a little high person.

"Yeah I know" I growled.

"I'm going to blow your bird up!" Deidara threatened.

"What the fuck! I'm on here too" Kisame called out reminding Deidara that he was also there.

"Fuck you, and fuck you too!" Deidara yelled.

Itachi looked up from his book and stared at Deidara. "But I haven't said anything?"

"I think I'm going to blow all the birds up."

"No balls!" Hidan called out. Only to turn his attention to Kakuzu when he was told to shut up.

"THAT'S UNNECESSARY!" I yelled remembering the Sasuke vs. Deidara fight. "No reason to blow us up, or yourself" I added.

"Deidara-senpai Look!" Tobi yelled from a different bird. "This reminds me of our old fun riding days!"

"…HAHAHAHAHA!" All of us began rolling in laughter.

"That has got to be the gayest thing ever!" Hidan yelled taking short pauses in his laughter.

"Tobi YOU LITTLE!" Deidara dug in his pouch grabbing some clay. He swung his arm up ready to throw the clay-

"Throw that clay in my direction and we'll see who lands first" Sasori threatened staring straight ahead.

All of us stopped laughing and kept quiet.

 _Bill Nye the science guy_. I thought to myself. I hadn't notice that sign before. I looked down to see just how far up we were. Let me tell you that we are pretty high up.

"You okay?" Kakuzu asked.

I gulped. "We sure are high up."

"Y-yeah, I didn't think we were that high up?" Linda pointed out.

The Akatsuki slowly began landing one-by-one. As Deidara landed I slid off the clay bird and walked beside Linda and Kisame. We were only about less than a mile away from the building.

"Wow, this place is…" Deidara trailed off. "Creepy."

I nodded. "C'mon."

Pein stopped and looked back at us. "Okay. Does anyone have a plan?" he asked us looking around.

The ground suddenly rumbled-and the building ahead of us exploded. Yes, it just exploded. No fire. It just exploded for no reason. We all stared dumbfounded at the explosion. It wasn't that close or big, but enough to explode the entire building.

"W-w-what just happened?" Linda asked as her hair flopped around.

"I believe the building exploded" Kakuzu answered her.

"And tell Tobi" Tobi started-"where is Sasuke and Max?"

We remained silent looking around to see any sign of life. But we stopped when we realized that no one can survive an explosion. Well isn't this awkward.

"What's that?" Zetsu asked pointing in the direction of the building.

There was a hazy figure slowly becoming bigger. Tobi let out a squeal and began chanting "Sasuke and Max" while jumping up and down. Sasuke slowly came to a stop in front of us. He slowly set down Max from carrying her. She stood up straighter still standing close to Sasuke.

I suddenly heard the sound of glassing shattering in my ear-my eye twitched. I stared at their hands as their fingers were entwined.

"So…" I said. "What do we have here?" I asked trying not to jump to the conclusion.

"W-well" Max started. She glanced up at Sasuke before continuing. "Sasuke and I are…"

"Are?"

"Are…"

"Are you? What-what is it?" Hidan urged her.

"Dating."

...What did she say? Did she just say that Sasuke and her, were dating?

"How the fuck does that make sense?" Hidan asked-equally confused.

"I told you guys it was love" Kisame smiled. "I was totally on the case for Sasuke x Max! Right little guppy?"

"Uh, sure" Linda muttered looking over at me. She backed away to avoid getting hurt.

3...2...1…

"WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE DATING SASUKE!" I snapped. "GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF HIM!" I stomped over to Max only to be stopped by Kisame. He picked me up and tried soothing me.

"Shhh. You have to let love be" Kisame shushed me. The other members remained silent or didn't give any shit. I thrashed around in Kisame's arms.

"Wait. Emo boy and girlfriend wanna be are dating?" Deidara asked confused. "Oh. You guys were acting like assholes because you two were secretly in love with each other. Typical" Deidara smiled proudly to himself as he figured it out.

"As long as they stay away from my money I don't give any care in the world" Kakuzu informed us.

"We weren't going to take your money" Sasuke said.

"Good."

"AHHH!" I screamed out of frustrations.

"He isn't any of our members so I don't care" Pein also added.

"I think it's cute" Konan shrugged. "But I also don't care."

I glared over at Itachi waiting for him to reply.

Itachi looked around awkwardly. "Pass."

"ITACHI YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU BETTER START ACTING LIKE A BROTHER AND START KICKING SOME ASS!" I screamed.

"Tobi thinks it's weird… but Tobi likes it!" Tobi cheered-giving an approval thumbs up.

"It doesn't affect us" Zetsu shrugged.

Linda slowly walked over to Max and Sasuke placing a hand on each of their shoulders. "I ship it" was all she said before walking back-to stand next to Kisame.

"Hey! You can't take my parnter in crime!" Hidan yelled. "I choose which asshole get's to go past me! Not that I really care actually-I think it just might be fun" Hidan gave a secret laugh.

"Hidan you're an idiot" Sasori called.

"Either way I don't care what you guys think" Max said confidently. She slowly stood on her tippytoes reaching up to Sasuke. She pressed her lips ever so slightly giving a very small peck on the lips.

Before I could scream and swing around again Max dropped to the ground laughing-holding her sides. I stared dumbfounded at her. Huh?

"Oh-oh my-hahaha!" Max couldn't even produce a simple sentence as she was laughing on the ground in waves of laughter. "Sasuke that deserves a high five!" She yelled out in laughter. Sasuke rolled his eyes and helped Max up on her feet. "You've ever considered acting, Sasuke?" Max asked. With her right hand she shook Sasuke's hand and with her left she brushed a tear off.

"Wait I'm confused" Kisame said like if he missed most of what happened.

"Did you _honestly_ think Sasuke and I were dating-no offense-?! We are _so_ incompatible! This is revenge for leaving me behind! Ana!" Max yelled glaring at me.

"WHY YOU SON OF BITCH WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU'RE DEAD!" I screamed at Max.

"You too" Max pointed over at Hidan.

"What did I-oh yeah" Hidan remembered.

"Well now that we have the whole group together, and that's over, we can go" Pein ordered.

The Akatsuki and the four of us turned and headed to Deidara's clay birds.

"I'm guessing that Max thought of that revenge" Sasori looked over at Sasuke. The two nodded.

"You know" Deidara smiled. "I'd actually like to see the the day when someone genuinely likes Max enough that the whole Akatsuki knows. But we all know that won't happen." Deidara smirk, but his smile immediately faded as Max punched him in the stomach. "FUCKING BITCH!" He coughed out.

"That reminds me. How were you able to blush?" Sasuke asked Max.

"To be honest I _was_ really surprised when you said I was blushing. I guess I really am getting sick. My stomach feels are jittery my palms are sweaty and my face is flushed. Must be getting a fever" Max shrugged holding her hand to her forehead.

"You can drink some medicine when you get home" Konan said.

"So you thought of the entire thing?" I asked looking over at Max.

"The revenge? Yes. But I have plans for other people" Max laughed- "But I do have to give credit to some of you. Thanks to being trapped in a closet, Sasuke and I were able to become buddies."

" _Right…_ " I said still not believing her. "C'mon I have to go make dinner."

"What are we having?" Sasuke asked me.

"Asparagus."

"NOOOOO!" Max cried out in horror.

* * *

 _One week later…_

I stared intensely at the first and new pot of coffee brewing. I continued holding my breath as the black liquid poured in the pot. You don't understand just how important this is to me. I finally got time and money (which I've had for a while) to go buy myself a coffee machine on the floor that I worked on. And now I just have to wait until it beeps which is going to happen any second.

The liquid became more slow and smaller. _Beep_. "Yes!" I exclaimed. I snatched a mug and poured myself some coffee. I added French vanilla creamer and sugar.

"Come to mama" I happily smiled at the coffee cup. I gently blew on the coffee to try and cool it a bit. I took a sip-slightly burning my tongue, but I didn't care it was really good.

 _Ring Ring_

I walked back over to my desk to answer the phone. I set the cup down to answer the phone. "Hello?"

"Ana I need you to make sure that the lady that's looking for me doesn't come up. Because I'm not here…" Pein's voice was in a whisper, afraid that someone was going to hear him.

"Um. Okay" I said a bit awkwardly.

"Good."

I slowly hung the phone up. Well that was interesting.

I opened the drawer and took out a pencil to begin to schedule meetings within the Akatsuki and other people. I stopped when my cup caught my eye. The coffee inside the cup was slightly moving. I frowned but decided to ignore it. But I couldn't cuz it continued moving. I slowly got up staring suspiciously at the cup.

"You feel that too right?"

I slightly jumped at Sasuke's voice. "Yeah? We should probably investigate it." Just as I said that the alarms began blaring throughout the office and outside. Sasuke and I both ran out-to see other people running outside to take cover.

"What's going on?" Hidan and Kakuzu asked jogging beside us.

"I think it's an earthquake" I answered back. I stopped running when we made it a good distance from most buildings.

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!" Tobi and Linda both simultaneously screamed. Zetsu rubbed his temples trying hard to ignore them. Pein and Konan came down like a boss from the sky.

The building continued swaying. The ground violently shook making it very hard to stand. Until it finally couldn't hold itself together-the building collaps. I gasp, staring wide eyed at the building. One of the Akatsuki members covered me up so I couldn't see but I was a least somewhat safe. Just as everything started…it stopped.

"Thanks Kakuzu."

"You owe me" was all Kakuzu said before walking toward the collapsed building.

"Of course I do" I mumbled. I followed after him to check the building out. But then it struck me. "M-m-m-MY COFFEE MACHINE!" I screamed. I coughed as the air was thick. Thankfully there was wind out going in the opposite direction.

In the middle of the destruction objects were thrown and pushed out. Kisame, Itachi, and Max stood in the middle completely fine.

"See! If you hadn't gotten your damn candy we wouldn't be stuck in the middle of this crap!" Kisame yelled pointing at Itachi. Itachi shrugged and continued munching on the chocolate candy bar.

Max had her hands over her eyes, shaking her head and muttering under her breath.

"What the hell?!"

I looked over to see Deidara and Sasori approach us. "I leave for a couple minutes and this happens."

Kisame and Itachi continued arguing-even though it was more one sided. Linda and I both walked over to Max as she continued covering her eyes.

"Come on Max you already know what happened just open your eyes." I said trying to pry her hands off her face.

Max slowly looked around taking in all the destruction. "My office. My beautiful, beautiful office."

"Oh Saint Francis!"

I turned around to see a woman with long legs and a big body…

"Oh dear are you okay?!" She cried out-glomping herself to Pein. "I hope you're okay!"

"Get off me!" Pein tried pushing the woman off him without hurting her.

She ignored him."I just came around to thank you again for helping me with my...kitty problem." The woman pouted her lips to Pein.

"Kitty problem" Konan repeated raising an eyebrow. Her facial expression said one thing-but her eyes said _another._

"Well I must go now-sadly-I have to help a friend out. I'll be coming around cutie" The woman walked off, but not without giving Pein an air kiss.

"Pein?" I asked.

"What?" Pein glared over at me, showing that he was _clearly_ not in the mood.

"Was that the woman who you didn't want to come today?"

"Why didn't you want her to come over?" Konan asked Pein.

"Because she's annoying and constantly likes to attach to me."

"Oh, and yet you helped her with her kitty problem" Konan replied cooly.

The Akatsuki oohed. Shots have just fired!

"We don't have time to "ooh" at their relationship" Max yelled at us. "My office building, my beautiful office building."

" _Your_ office building?" Pein asked looking over at Max.

"Yes _my_ office building it's to _my_ name. I just made you boss" Max snapped. "But let's not get into that we have other things to talk about" Max quickly added before Pein had a chance to kill her.

Kisame kicked some material around trying to get Max, Itachi and himself unstuck. "We're going home, Itachi has to go and think about what he-WHAT THE HELL ITACHI HOW MUCH SUGAR HAVE YOU EATEN?!" Itachi stopped mid way to eating a dango-he shrugged.

* * *

I took a seat beside Linda before Pein began talking. We were sitting at the dinner table eating some lunch I made them. It was sandwiches and fruit.

"Lets begin. The building that we work in has collapsed due to an earthquake. We already have some people working out blueprints to begin fixing our office. So the question is, what are going to do in the meantime?"

Max raised her hand. "Since we have no reason to stay here-other than the office-we probably have to go back to Iowa."

Everyone froze and stared back at Max.

"Say what now" I said.

"Yeah. I have an extra house for all of us to stay in" Max continued. "We can lay low there. Shall I remind you all what our job is?"

"So you were thinking ahead and got another house back to where we came from-or where you three came from?" Sasuke asked passing the orange juice that Linda was stretching out for.

Max nodded. "Absolutely, do you think I won't be prepare? I live with the Akatsuki. You always need a backup plan."

"Wait" Pein stopped her, "why wasn't I informed about this?"

"Because I did this a month ago."

"We came here three-almost four-months ago" Pein pointed out.

"Man does time fly" Max smiled, Pein rolled his eyes. "We should start packing after lunch, there's no doubt in my mind that the cops will investigate our building only to realize that we were behind the criminal cases."

"Robert Rodriguez" I snorted.

"HEY SHUT UP!" Deidara yelled at me. Sasori just stuck will glaring at me.

The tv in the kitchen began playing the news.

"We just experienced a big earthquake. We have Robert Rodriguez on the story. Robert?"

Well speak of the devil.

"Yes Maria, I am standing in front of some old houses that were completely destroyed. The only thing that can compare to this destruction is the lovers in crime case…"

"That's it!" Deidara yelled throwing his chair back. He stomped up the stairs with Sasori behind him.

"Where are you guys going?" Max asked, they ignored her. Max shrugged. "Sasuke can you hand me the orange juice?" He nodded and passed the carton over.

I continued eating my sandwich while listening to the news.

"That's the number on the Richter scale…hey who are you?"

Deidara and Sasori suddenly came up kicking down Robert and punching him. They were jumping him. The camera shook violently before cutting off.

I stared at the tv. I shrugged. "Hey Max hand me the orange juice."

XxX

I sat on top of the suitcase trying to get my clothes to fit. "Linda!" I called out. A few seconds later Linda poked her head in. "Can you zip up the suitcase?" She nodded and kneeled down helping.

"Done" She announced smiling.

"Thanks" I got up and grabbed the box on the bed. "Where's the tape?"

"Right here" Linda pulled the tape out from her back pocket.

I took the tape and taped the lids of the box closed. I didn't bring that much stuff, unlike someone _cough_ Max _cough cough_.

I grabbed the box and handed it to Linda while I took the suitcase. I walked out the room towards Kakuzu as he was the one in charge of sealing our stuff in scrolls.

"Here you go" I said handing it off to Kakuzu. "Where are the others?"

"Everyone is outside, except Max she's looking around to make sure nothing too important gets left behind." Kakuzu raised his fingers up. The rest of the objects glowed before getting sealed in.

I walked outside to see the other Akatsuki members chatting to one another.

"How many?" Kisame asked crossing his arms.

"I don't see why it matters" Itachi asked keeping his face blank.

"Itachi…"

"Two candy bars and I was on my third dango" Itachi recited back, glaring at Kisame.

"I just don't understand" Kisame shook his head.

"It's an Itachi thing" I patted Kisame's shoulder.

"He could can go on a year diet of just sweets. And Itachi would still look and feel fabulous from the inside out" Linda added.

Itachi resisted the urge to roll his eyes at us. Kisame's inner doctor was slowly dying.

"Okay that's all of the things. I just needed to grab some paper work. So let's go!" Max smiled at us.

Deidara walked up with Sasori towards us. "On time. I love the sound of bones breaking" Deidara smiled. He led us out walking down the street. We had to cross a few streets before using a back road to get us away from the town. We walked some more until we were out of people's sights.

Deidara stopped (forcing us to stop) and made some clay figures. "I'm making birds. It's easier to handle" he told us.

"We don't care" Hidan called from the back.

Deidara glared at Hidan trying to resist the urge to yell at him. Deidara took a breath and threw the clay figurines into the air. He raised two fingers and the clay birds went to full size.

"Two on one" Deidara said back at us. He jumped on a clay, Sasori followed after, taking a spot behind Deidara.

The Akatsuki members went with their assigned partners. Linda forced me to stay with her. Leaving Sasuke with Max.

"I trust you that you won't fuck up" Max said to Sasuke as she got on the bird.

"Let's go, we don't have a lot of time left" Pein called out to us.

"We're going to die" Linda whispered in my ear.

I slowly glared at her. I knew I should've went with a Ninja.

* * *

 **There is an After Hours. Just wait.**

 **Part 1 over. Next chapter is part 2. I guess that's how the story is laid out.**

 **PS. I got a Twitter account for myself (as an author). You can see the stupid or weird things that I come across when I type. Or the interesting things I find when I do research for my story(ies). Not like I ever do.**

 **BlueBeauty99 or BlueBeauty99fic**

* * *

 _ **After Hours**_

The girl slammed her fist in the white van. "Damn it" she cursed under her breath.

"Uh…ma'am?" A scrawny boy with brown hair and snot issues asked. "It seems that we got a report from back up that they fled from the house also."

The girl slowly removed her hand from the vehicle. She rubbed her knuckles and took deep breaths trying to calm herself down.

"Are there any witnesses?" She asked as she slowly opened her eyes.

"I-I'm afraid not" the boy stuttered. He knew _exactly_ how scary she is.

"No witness!" The girl yelled grabbing onto the boy's collar. "Not even a damn surveillance camera?!"

"Detective Jade Brooklyn?" A tall black man asked. His badge showed Ryan on it.

"Yes that's me" the girl answered. Jade let go of Stan's collar and stood up straight. "Is there anything you need sir?"

"We got permission for you to investigate outside the state" Officer Ryan said. He handed the red head a piece of paper. Certifying the permission of the judge.

Jade took the piece of paper reading through it. She looked back up at the destruction.

Staring hatefully she muttered, "I'll get you." She looked down at the paper before looking back up again. "Akatsuki Corporation."


	47. Cabin In The Field

**Max: Sup. It's been awhile since I've seen you guys.**

 **Ana: Not really.**

 **Linda: I wonder how many Akatsuki members I can fit in a big jar…?**

 **Ana:…**

 **Max:…**

 **Linda: I also have to think about height.**

 **Max: Don't forget if they have weapons or not.**

 **Ana: Also don't forget how stupid you are.**

 **Linda: Oh yeah tha- HEY!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Let us begin Part 2- Cabin ark.**

* * *

 **Linda**

I dragged myself, trying to keep close to Kisame.

"Oh come on it's not that big of a deal. I'll just buy you another one" Deidara continued talking, clearly not understanding my feelings.

"You don't understand!" I snapped.

"Oh wah-wah, grow up it was just a stupid stuffed animal."

"HE WAS MY BEST FRIEND!" I screamed at Deidara. "He wasn't just _some_ pig. He was _my_ pig-stuffed pig."

"Deidara you're buying Linda another stuffed pig" Pein ordered. Having Pein on your side has a lot of benefits.

"I just can't see why I have to buy her some dumb toy" Deidara continued acting insensitive.

"Did you seriously forget what you did?" Sasori asked. "Other than dropping the pig you crashed the birds. _Crashed._ Only you would be able to mess up like that."

Deidara glared at Sasori, because Sasori was correct. All fourteen of us were walking around in ripped clothes, scratches and bruises. Deidara was messing around and in the process he tipped the bird Ana and I were in. My piggy was in my hands-and when I grabbed for _dear life_ , I dropped my pig.

So as I was screaming at him-him to me. We may have collided causing a big crash-and-boom causing other birds to crash with us. Which is weird, only my bird and Deidara's exploded. Which is why we look more messed up.

"Ah come on it isn't all my fault right, Max?" Deidara asked giving puppy dog eyes to Max.

"I mean-if you think about it, we started it" Max said showing just how captivated Deidara had her.

"Max" Hidan called her out.

"But Deidara you said you were a big boy so you must take responsibility for your actions" Max crossed her arms trying to sound authoritative. Deidara's expression changed to glaring at Max.

We landed in Iowa about ten minutes ago. The rest of the time we were forced to walk. Which really emphasises the phrase "walk it off" after having an accident. Max was in the front leading us to where our new house would be.

"So are we getting close or what?" Zetsu asked.

"Yeah we should be getting closer by now" Max said looking around. We continued following Max hoping that she wasn't leading us in the wrong direction.

We remained silent, which made things a little awkward. Ana continued pulling grass out of her hair. Unfortunately there was a big pile on the back over head (which I wasn't going to tell her about). She slightly winced as she continued pulling grass out. I pushed a piece of hair back as it constantly fell on my face.

"My back hurts" Hidan said rubbing his back. He turned side to side trying to crack it.

"My wrist kinda hurts" Kisame added, he rubbed his left wrist.

"My heart hurts" I threw out there.

"Oh my god get over it" Deidara said tiredly. He continued getting shit by Sasori. Sasori was annoying Deidara out of boredom.

"Max how far is the house?" Pein asked trying to avoid another stupid argument. Which I'm sorry to say Pein, but this war isn't over.

"It should be showing up any second now" Max said taking a diagonal right.

We continued walking. Me being me-I got bored so I started listening to other people's conversation.

"I just think this is the first time I ever thought about that. So tell me, do you get the feelings of the people you take hearts out?"-This is obviously Hidan.

Kakuzu remained silent, trying to ignore Hidan's stupid question.

"This is against my practice" Kisame shook his head in disappointment

"You aren't really a doctor, Kisame" Itachi replied, feeling childish for continuing with Kisame's dumb career joke.

"I wonder how Linda tastes?" Zetsu muttered to himself.

I stopped walking and stood for a moment wondering if I really heard that. After agreeing that I did hear correctly and I wasn't going insane from the accident I ran over to walk beside Pein. I feel safe when I'm with people who'll actually try and protect me. For instance if I walked along side Kakuzu-he'd do absolutely nothing unless I paid him. And I don't have that kind of money. Speaking of Kakuzu-Hidan would probably just laugh at my suffering.

"Max do you even know where you're going?" Ana asked, getting tired of walking around blindly.

"Yeah" Max forced a laugh. She stopped walking and examined her surrounding. Max looked left and right hesitantly. "You see that little dot over there?" Max asked-looking back over at us. She closed one eye pointing over the fields.

The rest of us followed where Max was looking at. In the middle of a hill was a house that stood alone. We shrugged and continued walking.

"So what can we expect from this house?" I asked Max.

"Well you can continue walking and wait until we get there" Max replied in a grouchy tone. She was probably having an internal battle with her hair.

We finally reached the house. But now that I'm seeing it up close, it looks more like a big cabin. Like the ones you see for camping or in the movies where you have the dumb teens go to for spring break. Cabin in the woods _cough._ It was brown and had a porch in front of it. The front door was a dark chocolate color with stained glass on the top half. Single.

"The house is pretty nice" Deidara complimented. He examined the stained glass.

"Alright Max open it up" Pein order, moving to the side to let Max open it. She walked up to the front door and stood in front of it. "Well?" Pein urged her.

Max let out an awkward laugh. "I _may_ have forgotten the key…"

Silence.

"You idiot!" Ana yelled hitting Max over the head. "Now how are we going to get in?"

She rubbed her head. "Don't worry" Max calmed all of us down. "I always have a backup plan. Hidan I need your rosary."

Hidan slowly took his rosary off and handed it to Max. Max inched closer to the house. In a swift movement she threw the rosary through the window letting it shatter-open.

"Bitch what the fuck?!" Hidan yelled.

"What?"

"I thought you wanted my rosary because you made a secret lock specifically for it!"

Max let out a snort. "Why would I do that? Come on in" She said inviting us in. Max stepped on the windowsill and jumped through, entering the house. We followed after being careful on not getting cut. "Welcome to the house/cabin. Enjoy your stay."

The house was a lot nicer inside than out. It was very modern looking. Starting from the front door, there was a space to take shoes and coats off (with a coat rack). There was only one step to get to the same level. The floor was made of wood.

"The floor is oak" Max said trying to impress us.

The living room was close by. With three couches (two seat, three seat, six seat) and a fireplace. Above the mantel was the flat screen tv. Behind the biggest couch was the space between the living room and kitchen. It was snugged together, the kitchen. Behind the fridge was a wall that connected to main wall. There was an open doorway that led to the dining room. Across the front door-or the spot-was a wall with a door and staircase that started left to right, going upstairs on it's side. The door was a bathroom. And there was another door that was under the exposed staircase. It was a library. On the far left of the bathroom was the laundry room.

Upstairs was just for rooms. That's it. Just rooms.

"The only thing left is assigning rooms" Max said as she finished giving us a tour. "There are fourteen of us and seven rooms."

Pein spoke first. "We can evenly split two to one room, and since we already come in pairs each team will share a room." Everyone nodded.

"That leaves Ana and I" I added. This so going to be so fun. I mean, Ana and I already had to share her room when the Akatsuki came over. You know-when we were sane back then.

Sasuke and Max slowly looked at each other realizing what just happened. "Oh no!" Both of them said together.

"I know we made up but I'm not sharing a room with Sasuke" Max protested.

"Too bad" Pein said not wanting to hear more.

"Looks like one of us will be sleeping on the couch" Max challenged Sasuke.

"Didn't you say there were two beds in each room."

"Tch, fine but I'm taking the right side" Max crossed her arms pouting.

"But I want the right side…"

Max and Sasuke both stared at each other before breaking into a run. They pushed and shoved trying to see who'd get on the stairs. Max ran up but didn't get far as Sasuke grabbed onto her ankle making her face plant. Sasuke ran up and jumped over her, Max grabbed onto Sasuke's belt running up with him. Sounds of pushing and yelling were heard as they were upstairs fighting. Footsteps slowly died down.

"DAMN IT!" One of them yelled.

The Akatsuki and I looked over at Itachi. He pulled the book over his face to ignore the weird stares he was getting. Kakuzu pulled the scroll out that had our stuff in. He pressed his hand over the words and all of our personal stuff poofed out.

* * *

Ana and I both walked in the room that we both shared. All the rooms look similar.

There were two full beds on each side of the room. A nightstand sat between the two beds. There was also a full bathroom on the right side of the room. A closet and a dresser for the both of us to share.

"Which bed do you want?" Ana asked me.

"I want the bed on the right."

"Cool" Ana grabbed her stuff and threw it on her bed.

I grabbed my box and suitcase and placed them on my bed. Which was really hard considering that it was heavy and I'm pretty weak. I grabbed all my clothes and began putting them on the left side of the closet and the bottom two drawers on the dresser. I took all my stuffed animals and personal items and placed them on my bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked as Ana was putting a hole in the wall. Well, she was putting a nail in to hang something.

"I'm going to put a calendar up" She said hitting the nail one last time. Ana hung the calendar up-putting it on September. Wow, my birthday is in a month. Awesome!

"Hey I'm going to see how Max and Sasuke are doing, want to come?" I asked looking over at Ana. She shrugged and followed me.

We passed Sasori and Deidara's room before getting to Max and Sasuke's. Which was on the right side of the hall way. The hallway and rooms were set up differently. When you go up the stairs you have a choice of continuing forward until you're forced to go left (wall) or you can go take a left turn. If you do take the first left then you'll see two doors on each side of the wall-left and right. First left door is our room, the second is Sasori and Deidara's. The first right is Hidan and Kakuzu's and the second right is Sasuke and Max's. Up ahead is another door, that's where Kisame and Itachi are staying. Turning right is only two doors to the left-or right depending if you take the second left. The first door-or second-is Tobi and Zetsu's room. The last one is Pein and Konan's.

I knocked on the door and walked in before they answered. "Sup" I greeted the two.

Max was sitting criss-cross on the right bed while Sasuke was laying down on his back on his bed.

"Hey" both of them greeted looking up at us.

"So, Max won" Ana said surprised.

"No" Sasuke answered. "I won, but after some negotiating and begging she took the spot."

"Haha-you had to beg!" I laughed at Max. She flipped the bird at me.

"What did you try?"

"I said that I'd hide Itachi's candy and any sugary item-which cause Itachi go to destruction-rage mode." Max smiled. "You should never take someone's candy-much less if it's Itachi."

"That something I don't want to witness" Sasuke muttered. "We just moved in. There's no reason to destroy the house."

We all shuddered knowing the capability that Itachi has.

"What are you doing?" I asked Sasuke.

"Cross word puzzle."

The three of us continued talking until we heard Pein's voice echoing through the walls. The Akatsuki and the four of us made ourselves back down stairs. Pein stood with his back to us as he looked at the window. It's still broken.

Pein turned around staring at all of us. Konan walked out of the dining room, and took her place next to Pein.

"We have two issues. First one, Max you broke the window, so that means we have an open-broken window. Second, Ana we don't have any food. Unless you got some."

"I packed some bread and a jar of peanut butter." There were some yes in the group.

Pein nodded. "Max and Linda, you go help Ana make some sandwiches. And Hidan-" Pein threw Hidan his rosary.

"Thanks, that's where that went. I would have had it around my neck but someone threw it out a window" Hidan said looking over at Max.

The three of us walked into the kitchen make sandwiches for the Akatsuki. Which sucks for Deidara, Sasuke, and Kakuzu. They'll just have to swallow it down. Which reminds, why doesn't Deidara like peanut butter? The dude shoves clay in his mouth!

xXx

"Crap" Max said as she threw the last bit of glass that she broomed up in the trash. "Max go and clean your mess" Max mimicked Pein.

"Well you were the one who threw Hidan's rosary out the window" Ana reminded Max.

She let out a laugh. "Be honest, that was pretty funny."

I nodded.

"Tobi want's some water" Tobi whined dragging himself to us.

"That's right" Max muttered. "Well Tobi you're just going to have to stick you head in the sink and drink from the tap. We don't have gallon water right now. Sucks-to-suck."

"Where are you even getting them!" Kisame yelled. I turned around to see Kisame yelling at Itachi. "Just how much room do you have in your cloak for candy?!" Itachi shrugged.

I looked back over at Max and Ana. "The real Akatsuki mystery; How much room does Itachi Uchiha have in his cloak? Just what does he keep in there? This has been Linda with the Akatsuki news."

"My little guppy is following in my career footsteps!" Kisame exclaimed happily.

* * *

 **Don't forget to review!**


	48. Tobi Time

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Max**

I turned to my other side as I continued to try and fall asleep. After a couple tries I gave up on the idea of trying to fall asleep again. I woke up, I just have to deal with that kind of hard truth. I sat up and realized that Sasuke already left. Rude, leaving me behind...actually that's really nice of him that he didn't wake me up.

I groaned and pulled the covers off me. I put my slippers on and walked out the door heading downstairs. Every other step creaked as I walked down the stairs. I noticed that the living room and kitchen was empty. That's not suspicious at all (I'm quite sarcastic today). I grabbed a cup from the cabinet and went to the fridge, only to see a water button.

"I guess Tobi didn't have to stick his head in the sink," I muttered to myself. I pushed the button and filled my glass up with water. I had planned on walking back upstairs to bed, but a very familiar yell caught my attention.

I walked past the stairs and slightly ducked under to reach the door. I pushed it open and entered the library to see everyone chilling-sitting around.

"Max, glad you could join us" Hidan said all happily. Which slightly scared me.

"Hey Max" some of the members greeted. Okay I'm certain that Ana doesn't know how to make weed brownies.

I closed the door behind me and walked in the library. "What are all of you doing in here?" I asked, taking a seat on the desk at the front of the room.

"Pein and Konan are busy doing important things about the company and our organization," Kisame answered me. "Plus Pein found your secret office and he's trying it out."

"Damn it!" I cursed under my breath. There's a little switch under the blackboard that slides one of the nearest bookcases open. I wanted to keep it a secret but it seems that Pein is just too smart. You win this round Pein...I'll get you one day….

"Want a sandwich?" Ana asked handing me a peanut butter sandwich.

"Sure" I said taking the sandwich. I bit into it, feeling the rich texture and soft bread. "So what have you guys been doing?" I asked as I continued eating my sandwich.

"Nothing much" Deidara shrugged. He was sitting in the rocking chair playing with his clay.

I sighed and leaned on my right hand. What can we do that won't bored us? We _are_ surrounded by books, maybe we can tell stories.

"Hey" I called-trying to get everyone's attention. "I have an idea."

The Akatsuki stopped talking and turned their attention to me. Sasuke, Ana, and Linda also gave me their attention. "Come my children as I have a request" I smiled at them. I scoot back and crossed my legs on the desk. Everyone took a seat near me. Deidara stayed on the rocking chair, Sasori remained seated in the chair across the rocking chair. Itachi and Kakuzu both stayed in the chairs that were by the windows.

"I have a fun storytime idea. We all put sentences together to try and make a story." Everyone looked around and shrugged-agreeing with me. "Okay I'll start. _There was a boy named Timmy who was on his way to the store._ "

Tobi shot his hand up. " _On his way he saw a weird looking fairy._ "

I held back a laugh. "Okay who's going next?" I asked looking around.

" _The fairy just so happen to be spreading the word of Lord Jashin_ " Hidan smirked. Of course he'd say that.

Kisame laughed. " _Timmy continued walking, hoping that the fairy would ignore him._ "

" _Hey kid? The fairy called_ " Linda added.

After everyone added their own sentences, we came up with a story in around five minutes. This is what we created:

 _There was a boy named Timmy who was on his way to the store. On his way he saw a weird looking fairy. The fairy just so happen to be spreading the word of Lord Jashin. Timmy continued walking hoping that the fairy would ignore him._

" _Hey kid?" The fairy called. "You want some Jashin drugs?" (Ana)_ ["Jashin drugs aren't a thing!" Hidan yelled. "Shut up it's for the story!" Ana yelled back.]

 _Timmy stared at the fairy wondering if he heard correctly (Zetsu). "I probably shouldn't" Timmy muttered (Sasuke)._

" _All the kids are doing it" The fairy pressed (Deidara). Timmy backed away feeling a little creeped out (Kakuzu). "There's no reason to be scared little boy." (Sasori)_ ["Jesus Christ that's creepy" I said giving Sasori an uncomfortable look.]

 _Timmy backed away knowing just how creepy this was getting, for some reason he felt a familiar presence (Me). The fairy ripped off the mask he was wearing (Tobi). Under that mask was the only person who could have been after children (Hidan)! It was the one and only (Kisame), Orochimary! (Linda)_ ["Why do you call Orochimaru like that?" Sasori asked. Linda shrugged. "Why do you play with puppets?"

Sasori glared at her. "Touché…"

"I haven't gone, can I add something?" Itachi asked raising his hand.]

 _Timmy couldn't believe it, until Naruto jump out of a tree yelling BELIEVE IT (surprisingly Itachi)! The End (Ana)._

I looked up from reading the paper that I wrote on and stared at everyone and their little creative minds.

"Well that was an interesting ending" Kisame pointed out. "Didn't think you had it in you, Itachi." We all nodded agreeing with Kisame.

Tobi raised his hand, swinging it around trying to get my attention.

"Yes, Tobi?"

"Can Tobi tell a story?! Please!" Tobi asked, nearly losing his balance as he swung his arm around.

I shrugged. "Sure, hop on kid" I got off the desk letting Tobi sit. I sat next to Kisame. "Sup Kisame!"

"Hello Max" Kisame said to me.

"Ahem" Tobi cleared his throat. He crossed his legs and placed a hand under his chin trying to think of something to tell a story on. "Tobi has a story!" Tobi finally said.

"Okay Tobi tell us" Linda said getting interested.

"Okay! _Once upon a time-_ "

"Ew" Itachi threw out. "-Sorry continue."

" _There was a big tall handsome man on the quest of saving…_ "

"Why do I get the feeling that he's talking about himself" Deidara wondered. He's not the only narcissistic person here.

" _The world. His name was Hidan._ "

"I don't know whether to be creeped out or not?" Hidan asked himself.

" _On one of his journeys, Hidan just so happened to be walking past a castle. He realized just how hungry-and lonely-he was. So for a two for one deal Hidan decided to check the place out._

 _Hidan walked in without a care. He was a brave immortal man, so who cares what happens to him. Hidan went straight to the kitchen. After eating almost everything in the room he decided to go upstairs to quench his loneliness._

 _Hidan opened the door and found a sleeping girl-_ "

I'm getting a bad feeling on how this is going to end. I'm silently praying that there's no rape in this story.

" _She had soft pale skin with black wavy hair. Hidan shrugged and leaned over the bed to look closer at the princess._

 _The princess's eyes open and she stared surprised at Hidan. "Who are you?!"_

" _I am Hidan" Hidan replied._

" _Hidan…?"_

" _Just Hidan."_

" _Nothing? Are you a knight or-"_

" _I'm Hidan, just a dude saving the world."_

 _There was an awkward moment before the princess spoke up. "Well, Hidan, since you woke me up from my slumber I would normally hurt you. But you're just so hot-let me give you a kiss._ "

"Well that escalated quickly" I said in disgust. I hate fairy tales. They make woman all stupid and act like they need a man to live. Why isn't there a story where a boy needs saving from the dragon. Or when a princess says, 'hey fuck you I don't need no man or woman (why aren't there gay fairy tales?). And if I do want to get married I'll get to know them for at _least_ , least two-three years.' Come on people!

"Let Tobi finish!" Tobi shushed me. "Where was I-oh yeah. _Hidan pulled back from the kiss with a smirk on his face. "You're pretty hot yourself. So what's your name?"_

 _The princess giggled in embarrassment. "Max-"_

WHAT THE FUCK! Wait why did I say that to myself. "WHAT THE FUCK!" I screamed at Tobi.

"What?"

"What do you mean what, why did you put me in the story!?"

Tobi shrugged. "Because Tobi thinks you and Hidan like each other-duh." Tobi answered like it was the most obvious thing.

"We don't like each other-in that way!" I corrected myself. I looked over at Hidan to see what he thought of this. And I find him sitting without a care. "WHY AREN'T YOU PHASED BY THIS!?" I screamed at Hidan.

He shrugged. "It could have been worst. I could have been paired by Deidara, or Uchiha, or worst! Kakuzu!" I dragged my hand down my face. He's not seeing the point.

"Tobi, you are probably the only person in here who thinks Hidan and I like each other-in a romantic way."

"Ana does" Linda blurted out. I looked over at Ana with a murderous look. She looked up at me from writing in a small yellow covered notebook.

"What? No I don't" Ana said all awkward. She pushed the notebook behind her so I wouldn't see it. I continued glaring at her. Ana is one of the worst liars, and right now she's lying so bad I can't even tell if she's trying. "Well what about Linda?" Linda shrugged.

Before I could go and hit Ana, the shelf slid open and Pein walked out with Konan behind him.

"Could one of you explain why there's yelling?" Pein asked giving all of us a cold glare.

"Tobi was just telling a story. But it seems to have offended Max-chan because she started yelling at Tobi" Tobi explained sounding as if _he_ was the victim.

" **Max is being a little butthurt that we think she and Hidan like each other more than whatever relationship they have** " Zetsu said, well black Zetsu. "I think they're partners in crime?"

" **Did I ask for your opinion?** "

"Well you don't have to be so rude."

" **Shut up, you're my bitch."**

"Zetsu can you go and argue with yourself somewhere else" Deidara asked getting weirded out like the rest of us. I guess this is why black Zetsu doesn't talk. Could I call this domestic violence? Or does it have to be physical?

Pein grabbed all of our attention by scraping a nail or a piece of metal on the blackboard. I held onto my ears as the sound made me cringe. Pein began giving all of us directions. He had called some people to fix our window and wanted the Akatsuki on their best behavior. Pein also told Ana, Linda, Deidara, Hidan and I that we would go to the grocery store to stock up on food.

"Why the hell do I have to go?!" Hidan asked.

"Because I said so" Pein replied. "And if you want to remain immortal then I suggest that you don't ask questions and keep your mouth shut." Hidan clicked his tongue.

"Here, take this to pay for the groceries," Konan handed me a yellow card. This card was the "all" card. We only use it for groceries and when we damage or break something. For example the window.

I let out a breath. "We're about to go to a very dangerous place. Where weirdos hang out, and where memes come from." I looked into the distance.

"Walmart."

* * *

 **Please review. It motivates me.**


	49. Sale

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Ana**

"Walmart."

I stared at Max. Man she can be dumb. I wasn't going to tell her, not this time at least. I sighed and got up. I turned back around and helped Linda up from the ground.

"Let me go and change out of my pajamas then we can head out," Max called as she exit the library. As Max went to go do that, I ripped a piece of paper out of the notebook and wrote 'grocery list.'

"Do you guys specifically need something-that isn't ramen." I said before Linda had a chance to ask me. The guys (and gal) shook their heads, no. I shrugged and walked to the kitchen to see what-and how much-we needed to get.

After writing what we needed Max walked down the stairs changed from her pajamas. Hidan and Deidara walked out, heading to the front door. Linda was already outside waiting for us.

"So I assume we're going on Deidara's bird" Max said pulling her leather jacket on. "I don't think I can do this."

"Do what?" I asked looking over at her.

" _This_! We need to get a car or something. A fucking van I don't care!" Max said a little over dramatic. She walked over to the bird that was blown up. I rolled my eyes and followed after her.

My hair blew around as the bird went about 70-80 mph. And Deidara said he was going "slow." The sky wasn't exactly pretty today. It was grey and gloomy, I doubt it was going to rain but it looked like it was going to. I dug my hands deeper in the clay.

"Maybe I could by an old van that could fit all of us. Maybe a truck?" Max continued on the car topic.

"You can try a white van!" Linda suggested yelling over the wind. She began choking on air...yeah, air. After laughing at her "joke."

"Like a pedophile van?"

"I don't know car's" Linda shrugged.

Before Max could have a chance to answer, Deidara pulled the birds down-as close as we could get them. We got off and began walking towards Walmart. Max was in the back lecturing Deidara and Hidan to not do anything that would end up in the news. She was going off that she would be turned into a meme, and how she very much didn't want to be a meme.

I grabbed the cart and went to the back of the store. I start from there and would work my way down so the vegetables won't get squished. We needed milk, Max and I are heavy milk drinkers. A glass twice a day. I placed four gallons. I walked around and grabbed five cartons of egg and a big box of yogurt. Now that I'm looking at the amount that I am grabbing-we should have gone to _CostCo_.

I continued grabbing food items. I looked at the clock at my ipod and realized that we were going to take a while.

"Max?"

"What" She asked stopping mid-way in a sentence.

"Go grab a cart or a basket and get all the hygiene protects that we need." I ordered her. She nodded and headed in a different direction leaving Deidara with me...great.

I continued looking through the aisle, I stopped at the cereals to find which one we'd all like. I grabbed a bag of cocoa dyno bites and cinnamon toast crunch. That should be enough. Hardly anyone eats that much ceal-excluding Max. Remember? Comes in your house and steals your cereal? No, okay.

"What else are we getting?" Deidara asked as he walked alongside me. We were looking at pastas. The Akatsuki _really_ like pasta.

"I just need to grab more dinner related things. Fruits and vegetables. Also some meat product…" I searched through my mind to see if I was missing anything else. "I think that's it. Oh-and ramen. Max and Linda are going to throw an unnecessary tantrum if I don't get ramen."

"Right" Deidara nodded trying to get passed the fact that Max and Linda are willing to throw a tantrum over food. But let me tell you Deidara that Max and Linda will. Always. Be. Hungry.

xXx

I walked down the aisles ignoring Deidara's talking. I looked left and right trying to find the three shit-heads. I was about to turn back around when I saw Linda and Max leaning in staring at something.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked the both of them.

"We can't decided which razor to use" Max replied without looking at me. She continued staring at the shaving cream and razors. I walked over to the two and stared with them. I reached and grabbed a packet of purple color razor that had four. I threw two packets in the other cart.

"Alright where's, Hidan?"

"Somewhere around here," Linda shrugged. I sighed and looked over at Deidara and asked him if he could go and look for Hidan while the three of us continued grocery shopping. And to make sure that nothing terrible happens I sent Linda with him.

"What else do we need?" I asked Max. After a couple seconds of silence I turned around to see her staring down the long aisle. "What are you staring at?"

"You don't see that?!" She said hysterical. "Why do they have Christmas decorations on sale when it hasn't even been Thanksgiving. Halloween hasn't even passed. We're in SEPTEMBER!"

I sighed. "Who cares Max, that doesn't even affect you."

"For your information, it does."

"How?"

"It throws my game off. Now how am I supposed to get great decorations when sales are going on at this time. I haven't even gotten Halloween decorations!" Max walked passed me with her arms crossed. I rolled my eyes and followed her.

"Let's hurry I want to check something out."

"Fine," I muttered.

The two of us continued walking up and down the aisle grabbing all the things we needed. We made a U-Turn once we reached the fishing sections. Suddenly Linda came running to us screaming. She hid behind Max for protection. Hidan and Deidara walked towards us laughing holding a small white tub. When the both of them came closer I realized it was a tub of worms. Oh how mature.

"Keep that away from me!" Linda shrieked.

"It's just a worm," Hidan taunted, "he just wants to say hi."

"Really?" Linda asked as she slowly poked her head out from Max.

"To Eat You!" Deidara snapped. He began laughing as Linda hid behind Max.

I face palmed. "Linda! You have played with worms before, I don't know why you're freaking out."

"Yeah but they're all slimy and spazzy."

"I don't know," Max shrugged, "I'd spaz out if I was kept in a small tub with other weirdos."

Hidan closed the tub and tossed it on one of the shelfs. "So?" He asked wiping his hand on his cloak, "we finished or what?"

I nodded.

After paying we walked out with two full carts of crap. We were heading out to the back of the building when Max stopped us.

"Wait, you see that building right there? That's a car dealership, we can buy a car instead of going on a bird-no offense, Deidara."

"None taken. I don't even have anymore clay left," Deidara said.

I slowly looked over at him. "Let me get this straight. We now _have_ to buy a car that's big enough for everyone because you ran out of clay?"

"Yes."

"Fuck you guys."

After Hidan and Deidara sealed the groceries up in scrolls we walked over to the dealership. I was surprised by how many cars and people were out despite the chance of it going to rain today. The parking lot was filled with a types of cars. Vans, trucks, sports cars, and some batmobile looking cars.

"How do you do?" A man in khaki pants asked us.

"Good," Max answered-"we're in a search of a car that can hold about 14 people comfortably."

"Well let's come over here to the vans and longer cars. By the way my name is Jeremy," Jeremy smiled at us. He led the four of us to the other side of the parking lot.

Jeremy began telling all of us the different cars and prices. What model each one came from, and the pro's and con's. I was following along trying to see what was the best choice. Max stopped and stared….

"Um...Jeremy?" Max called Jeremy without taking her eyes off the car.

"Yes?"

"That car, show me all of that car,"

She pointed her finger out to a van. It was white on the top and a lemonade pink for the color.

"Well this is a-"

"I know what it is. It's a 1960's Volkswagen van, how much is it?" Max asked, she was practically bouncing.

"Well," Jeremy hesitated. "I should tell you more about this bus-van in particular. You see, in the back, a row is seated for four people. And usually there's only two rows of four, but this vehicle has three rows of four. So that makes fourteen seats."

"Perfect!" Max exclaimed. "And I see there's a lot of widows, also perfect."

Jeremy shrugged and said that Max could get inside. Hidan took a seat up front, leaving Linda, Deidara, and I in the back. Max grabbed the keys and turned the car on.

"Wow, such beautiful engine," she said in surprise. The windshield was two windows that could open. I continued looking around of the inside of the car.

"Is-is that a stick shift?" Max asked in a whisper voice.

"Yes ma'am."

She nodded. "I'd like to talk in private with my group." Max rolled the windows up and looked back over at the us.

"I like it, seems perfect to fit all of us," Deidara said.

"Have to agree with Goldilocks," Hidan also said.

"I just don't like the color" Linda added.

"Yeah but there's just one problem."

"What's that?" I asked her.

"I don't know how to drive a stick shift…" Max mumbled depressingly. The four of us remained quiet. "Well I'll just have to wing it," Max said bringing her up beat mood back.

"Please don't," I begged her.

Max rolled the windows down and looked back over a Jeremy.

"Well what do you say?" He asked us.

* * *

Crap...oh, damn it.

"Max you are terrible at winging it with a stick shift." I yelled.

"Shut up, I'm starting to get a hang of it!" Max looked down at her lap to read more.

Max had Linda run back into Walmart and buy- stick shift for dummies. I think it's doing a good job on not making us die.

"Well at least we're close to the house," Deidara pointed out. Deidara was leaning on his knees to look out the windshield.

"Oh shit." I muttered.

Max looked up to see Pein standing outside on the porch with Kakuzu beside him. She slowly came to a stop, shutting the engine off, all five of us got out.

"Why did you take so long?" Pein asked us as we got closer to him. "And why are you in a…"

"Car."

"...Car."

"Well," Max sheepishly laughed. "I just think that it was a hassle to have to use Deidara's birds all the time. So I decided to buy a van. But before you yell at me. He did run out of clay."

"How much was it?" Kakuzu asked.

"Well we got a pretty good deal for a 1967 Volkswagen. It was…25,000 dollars." Max slightly trailed the last part off. "We bought stuff to make hot chocolate."

"Well okay then," Pein said before he walked back into the house.

Kakuzu stared surprised at the door. He looked back at us five-glaring. "You paid that much money for something so useless." Kakuzu turned back around and walked into the house.

I followed after heading to the kitchen to start putting things away.

After nearly half an hour, I (with Max and Linda) managed to put the groceries away.

"Max-chan?" Tobi called.

"What is it Tobi?"

"Now that you bought one of those transportation, does that mean Tobi has to go into the trunk?" Tobi asked.

"No. Everyone should fit comfortably, there's fourteen seats," Max answered Tobi's question, and the others.

"Done!" Deidara exclaimed as he held a giant blob of clay in his hands.

"Deidara that looks like shit," I said bluntly.

"Deidara that looks like shit, no," Deidara mocked me, "I just made enough clay to last me this week, maybe more."

Just then Max's phone ringed. She walked over to the kitchen where she left it and answered it. "Hello?" She waited a moment. "Hello. Fucking kids."

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Nobody, as in nobody answered."

We both shrugged and walked in the living room to sit with some of the Akatsuki members.

"Hey, we should play that one killing game," Hidan suggested as he pointed his finger at the Xbox.

"You mean _Grand Theft Auto_?" Max asked.

"Sure."

"First player!" Max yelled as she dove for the controller.

"I'm with Max!" Hidan yelled after.

I let out a snort, "of course you are."

The two looked back over at me.

"I mean...is it cold in here or is it just me?"

* * *

 **After Hours…**

"Well…?"

"I think I have a better idea on where they are," Stan stammered. He wiped his nose with the closest tissue and adjusted his glasses.

"Good," Jade nodded. "That's what I like to hear. Nice work." Jade turned around from looking at the computer and headed towards the door.

"Thank you," Stan hesitated.

"But if you're wrong...you know what happens."

"Yes ma'am!" Stan shrieked in fear.


	50. Tips On Living With Hidan

**Linda: Happy Late Mother's Day!**

 **Max: I hope you gave your mama a nice great big hug.**

 **Ana: Or grandmother.**

 **Max: SO SHOW THAT WOMAN YOU LOVE HER. SHE GAVE UP HER SEXY BODY FOR YOU! YOU PEED INSIDE HER WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT-AND HER ORGANS WERE PUSHED ALL THE WAY UP!**

 **Ana: Max just wants you to be grateful for your mom.**

 **Linda: She's crazy. Max-not your mom...I hope.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **REVIEW FOR DEAR GOD!**

* * *

 **Linda**

Hi I'm Linda. But you might know me as...Linda. I've lived with the Akatsuki for a while now and obviously each member has their own personality. So if one day you have to deal with one of them, here are some tips on living with them.

Today I'll be talking about the religious psychopath Hidan.

 **Tip Number 1: Don't ever-ever get up in the middle of the night if it's avoidable.**

Waking up in the middle of the night will cause trauma. Is Hidan doing a prayer? No. I know we haven't mentioned it or talked about it, but during the first month that we were in the other house, Max got prostitutes for Hidan. He wanted Jashin sacrifices, but he also likes to get his "jam" on. So it's more of a, sex-and-kill. Max, Ana, and I never spoke or mentioned it because it's ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING! _Ahem_. Let me tell you a story.

 _I continued sneezing. I opened my eyes and looked around. Being sick sucks, you lack sleep, it's hard to breath, and I start hearing things. Wait...no I don't._

 _I got up from my bed and walked out the room. I walked towards the elevator to get in. Once I was upstairs the moving and mumbling sounds were a little more louder._

" _What's that noise?" I asked myself. I passed almost everyone's room. I was about to leave until I heard Hidan's voice, followed up from a woman voice. I slowly walked over to his door and looked through the little crack._

 _Me being me I couldn't see. So did I stop there? No, I opened the door and peeked through the second door._

" _What are you going to do to me now?" The woman asked. She was laying on the bed with only a bra and underwear on._

" _Let me show you the world of Jahsin."_

" _Who's Jashin?" The woman asked confused._

 _Hidan suddenly ripped his clothes off, and with a smirk he answered, "my dick."_

 _I stared with my eyes wide open and my mouth hanging out. I slowly backed away. When I made it to my room I layed down trying to not think about what I witnessed. I saw someone's...well-Hidan's… special place._

….well...let's continue.

 **Tip Number 2: When Hidan gives you a nickname, he'll stick to that "nickname," because he knows it'll annoy you.**

So Hidan gave you a nickname and you don't like it. Too bad. He'll use that nickname no matter how old or annoying it gets. This tip is for future references that will come sooner than expected. Just wait.

 **Tip Number 3: Food.**

Hidan is a big guy, so of course he's going to eat. Just be mindful of how much money you have and the amount of food you have.

Oh and he really likes sandwiches. Story time.

 _Ana had me putting away the dishes that she washed. Hidan was sitting by the island watching me._

" _Hey Linda, I'm hungry," Hidan stated._

" _Okay."_

" _Make me something to eat,"_

" _Um...do you want a sandwich?" I asked Hidan._

" _A sandwich? Just one little sandwich?" Hidan asked. He sounded as if he was offended. "Do I look like some little child who needs one sandwich."_

" _You're acting like one."_

Another time…

 _I had just finished making MYSELF a sandwich when Hidan sauntered into the kitchen. I felt some heat rise to my cheeks as a sudden memory returned._

" _Hey, kid," Hidan yawned as he took a seat by the island. "You're up early."_

" _H-Hidan?"_

" _What?"_

 _I paused for a moment before continuing. "Why are you naked?"_

" _I'm not really naked, I have underwear," He justified himself._

 _I sighed and turned around to grab a glass to pour myself some orange juice. I turned around._

" _HEY!" I yelled._

 _Hidan looked up from biting into MY sandwich. "What?"_

" _That's mine!"_

" _Not anymore."_

He'll pay for my sandwich….

Let's continue.

 **Tip Number 4: Let him take the trash!**

If Hidan EVER, and I mean EVER, suggest to take the trash out, let him! If Hidan is all calm and casual-maybe suspicious-let him take the trash out. But if he's pissed and keeps cursing, then that just means he was forced to take it out.

Going back to the sex-and-kill. Hidan has Jashin sacrifice, and he get's rid of them but it just happens to be in a trash bag. There is no story, maybe later. Hidan just warned us.

Just be careful when handling Hidan and his prayers, ya'll have a nice night.

Bye, bye.

PS. Hidan's a psycho.


	51. To The Party We Go

**AN: Just six more days until I'm out of hell. Then I can sleep and work on my story(ies).**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Max**

It's been a week and a half since we came. The Akatsuki and four of us were eating breakfast, no particular order in our seating. I was sitting at the end of the table, Sasuke was to my left and Ana to my right, those two sitting across from each other. Pein was sitting all the way to the other end of the table, with Konan next to him. We were all eating together, excluding one missing member.

"WHERE THE HELL IS IT!?"

There he is.

"Where is IT?!" Deidara yelled as he entered the dining room. He scanned the room before his eyes landed on me. He walked over and pulled my chair out, placing both hands on the chair he gave me a hard stare. It took every ounce of power to try and not blush.

"Where is it?" Deidara repeated himself.

All you have to do is say that you don't know. "You wanna make out?" FUCK!

"What? You're fucking weird," Deidara said in a more quiet voice. He pushed my chair back and stepped on the table. He slowly walked on the table giving glares to everyone.

Pein sighed and placed his mug down on the table, he grabbed a napkin and wiped the extra chocolate on his upper lip. "Deidara why are you yelling? And get off the table."

"Where is it?" Deidara asked again. He surprisingly hasn't stepped on anyone's food despite not looking where he's going.

"You're being nonspecific right now," Sasori said. He was looking up from reading this week's newspaper, front cover was Robert Rodriguez in the hospital.

"You seem in a good mood," I pointed out to Sasori as I adjusted my chair. "You're talking in the morning." Sasori nodded. Sasori doesn't talk to anyone in the morning, he's really quiet and uncaring until around ten-eleven in the morning. That's the time he starts talking, all day he's uncaring.

"I bet you took it," Deidara muttered, glaring at Tobi he jumped down from the table.

"I didn't take it…" Tobi paused, "what didn't I take?"

Deidara let out a stressed out breath, he ran his hand through his hair. "One of you took my other pouch!" He yelled as he opened his cloak to show us the missing pouch.

"That's it?" Ana asked, "why do you even need it? Just sit down and eat breakfast, it's already cold."

"Ana's right," Pein agreed. "You're not going to need them, you have another pouch."

"You can look for it after breakfast," Konan suggest. She grabbed Deidara's plate and shoved it in his grasp.

Deidara let out a groan. "Fine, but I'm just warning you guys that I'm getting a bad vibe. Almost as if something drastic is going to happen."

"Is it because I suggested we make out?" I ask feeling embarrassed. "Because that just came out."

Ana let out a forced laugh. "Hidan you should try that!" She stopped her laughter and looked back and forth at us.

"We. Don't. Like. Each Other!" I snapped at Ana. This feels like I've done this before.

She shrugged and continued eating. After breakfast Linda and I helped clean up and wash the dishes. I walked up stairs to the room I shared with Sasuke to grab my phone. I open the second right door and walked in. My phone was sitting on the nightstand charging.

"Let's have a look," I whispered to myself as I checked any notifications.

"What's with the face?" Hidan asked me as I walked back down stairs. I took a seat next Sasuke and looked up at Hidan.

"Just a weird thing, there was an invitation to a house party. Seems like a big deal if nearly everyone in town got an invitation." I looked down at my phone.

I got an email that there was this big house party and nearly everyone was going. The dude who sent it has a friend in California who likes Akatsuki Corporation, making us instant guest. Seems like the dude throwing the party was leaving so he wanted to throw one last party. But the only problem is taking the Akatsuki to a house party. It's going to be like the one's in the movies, only thing is that I'm taking anime characters instead of beer. Speaking of Akatsuki, I hope everyones drunk enough to not be Naruto fans. And if they are then I hope they're really drunk to not remember anything.

"Zetsu! I bet you ate it!" Deidara yelled pointing his finger at Zetsu, trying to accuse him.

"Why would I eat your clay? That wouldn't be very nice of me." Zetsu defended himself. " **And why would we eat some dirty clay that's going to explode?** "

"I've got my eyes on you, and all of you," Deidara said as did the "I see you" motion. He slowly backed away into the hallway.

"Drake," I snorted. Get it? I've got my eyes on you...no...ok.

"So are we going to this party or what?" Hidan asked referring to what we were talking about.

"Ooh party," Kisame smiled at us. "What are we celebrating?"

"Well-"

"Party? What party?" Pein asked as he walked towards us. He was holding his third cup of hot chocolate. "Who said anything of a party, damn it Max I thought I told you no more parties!"

"Okay damn!" I snapped at them, "I just got an invitation for a party that we got invited to. Some dude has a friend that likes the way we do business and told us to come. But it's just for partying-no business."

The Akatsuki thought to themselves.

"YES!" "NO!"

I looked between the ones who wanted to go and those who do not. Kisame, Hidan, Linda, Tobi wanted to go. Pein, Sasuke, Sasori, Deidara, Ana, and Kakuzu don't want to go. Zetsu didn't say anything because he has to go with what Pein says, same goes for Konan. As for Itachi and I, we didn't know.

"It's six against four, so no party."

"Wait," Deidara cut in, "This is for not going to the party?" He looked around and took two long strides to the other group.

"You're dead to us," Sasori muttered as he glared at Deidara.

"What do you two think?" Pein asked Itachi and I. We looked at each other and shrugged.

"I think I do want to go and party, because I like partying. But the no side has members that will kill me when the yes side gets drunk. But I do like partying."

I rubbed my chin as I thought long and hard…for like two seconds. "I'm going yes."

"Okay, it's five- five."

Itachi looked around as everyone stared at him, waiting to what the Uchiha had to say. His eyes found Kisame's and they stared at each other for about minute before Itachi spoke.

"Yes."

Pein's eye twitched. "That was enough to get you to agree?!"

Kisame looked over at Pein surprised. "How did you know what I said to him?"

"I have chakra rods, I got your little chakra messages."

"What did you tell Itachi, Kisame?" Linda asked.

Kisame leaned down to whisper to her, I leaned to my right to also hear what Kisame said to Itachi to make him go.

"He'd get candy."

"That makes a lot of sense," I said.

Pein let out a sigh, "fine, we're going to this party. We just arrive late."

With that said Pein walked out the room with his hot chocolate. I should probably cut some of his hot chocolate consuming, he drinks more than any of us. And I hate it more because he can't gain weight...asshole.

* * *

A little before ten, I walked up to my room to start getting ready. Sasuke and Linda were both in the room doing crossword puzzles. I ignored the two and walked over to the bathroom to fix my hair up. I pulled my curling wand out and plugged it into an outlet to let it heat up. As I let it heat up I applied heat protection.

"What are you doing?" I heard Linda's voice from the room.

"I'm fixing my hair," I answered back.

"Okay."

I grabbed the wand and began fixing-and making-my waves that my hair already had. After twenty minutes of making my hair nice, and having a loud conversation with Sasuke and Linda, I walked back into the room to change. My only problem was that it's pretty cold outside, but the party is going to be hot because of everyone dancing and hanging.

I looked through the closet until I pulled out some black skinny jeans that were pre ripped at the knees, and a nice white t shirt. I walked back into the bathroom to change.

"Well aren't you looking all dressed up," Linda complimented me as I walked out again.

"Nice outfit," Sasuke said without looking up from his cards. He and Linda had switched to playing cards.

"You aren't even looking at me!"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes!"

Sasuke looked at me up and down before looking back down at his cards.

"Like I said, nice outfit." Sasuke said before placing a card down. "Hit me."

Linda gave him a blank look before smacking his forehead. I bit down on my lip.

"What was that?!" Sasuke snapped as he got mad.

"You said to hit you!" Linda yelled back in confusion.

"I-" Sasuke sighed and rubbed between his eyes. "I'm done playing with you," Sasuke muttered as he got off the bed.

"Good, now you can get ready," I said. I grabbed the blue bag from the closet and tossed it to Sasuke. I reached under the bed and took out a big box. "C'mon Linda, let's go dress the others while Sasuke gets ready," I called.

Linda opened and closed the door for me as I walked out and into the hallway screaming for the Akatsuki. All ten of them slowly walked out of their rooms, and others from downstairs. Ana walked out to see what the deal was. I dropped the box on the floor and kicked it open.

"Boom!" I yelled, I began tossing clothes at the Akatsuki at random. "Go change out of your cloaks and into these, you have fifteen minutes."

After shooing the Akatsuki away Ana walked over to me with a questionable face.

"Explain," she demanded.

"There is no explanation, I just don't want the Akatsuki in their cloaks. We are going to a party aren't' we?"

Ana opened her mouth but closed it. Sasuke walked of the room.

"Nice outfit," I said as I kept my eyes on Ana.

"You didn't even look."

"Do you want me to?"

"Tch."

I looked over at Sasuke, I looked up and down eying him. "Nice outfit," I smirked.

He walked away rolling his eyes. "You're welcome," I said to Sasuke and Ana.

I walked down stairs to the front door to put my gray boots on. I looked up to see the Akatsuki walk down. "Heyyy…" I said with a smile. "God damn, lookin fine," I muttered through my teeth.

"We heard you," Kakuzu said with his glare.

"And I'm not taking it back," I laughed. "Hey, Hidan. Where is the key to the cabinet?"

"Under the couch cushion," Hidan said. He walked over to the smallest couch and lifted the cushion grabbing the key. He tossed the key to me and I went to a cabinet next to the fridge.

I pulled out a bottle of tequila and a shot. I poured for one and took the shot, letting the liquid burn down my throat.

"Is that safe?" Ana asked me.

"It's the only thing I'll be drinking tonight."

"Why is that?" Kisame asked me as we started walking out the front door.

"Trust me, I want to drink as much as you guys. But I'm the only one who knows how to drive, I'm not an idiot...most of the time. Driving after drinking is never safe, especially how I get," I said. I slipped in the driver's seat and pushed the key in the ignition.

Hidan took the passenger seat while the rest went to the back. I started the car up and began driving. Don't worry. I've been practicing.

* * *

After driving for about twenty minutes, I slowed the Volkswagen to a stop in front of a big house. I managed to get a parking space that was close, and even then we were still far from the house. I turned the car off and got out letting the cool air touch my face. It was now that I realized that I forgot to grab a jacket.

I walked up the sidewalk with the Akatsuki and other three following. I opened the front door, it looked exactly how I imagined it. There were people dancing, strangers making out, alcohol and laughter. Now this is my kind of night. We all walked with no one staring at us. The house was enormous, two giant stair cases going up and opposite directions. The floor seemed new, but that wasn't to important. What was important was some of these babes, god damn.

I turned around to the Akatsuki and said, "See ya, we'll check up on each other in an hour. We'll meet up at the front door in three hours!" I screamed over the music. The others nodded.

Giving them a thumbs up, I walked away. First thing firsts, I need to locate non-alcoholic beverages. Trying to push through groups of people I found the kitchen. I opened the fridge up and saw nothing but beer. I sighed and grabbed a plastic cup. Pushing the water button, I silently prayed that it wasn't vodka. After sniffing it, I could tell it was plain water.

Bodies were rubbing and pushing each other. Music blared and people laughed. I was walking around when I saw Hidan was already flirting with a big group of girls. I couldn't help but smile, he's already getting it on. Good for Hidan, bad for the girls, they just might get to know Lord Jashin by the end of the night. I continued walking. I really need to make friends, my social life is shit.

I walked along minding my own business, sipping my water. I had stopped dancing after about twenty-thirty minutes. I wandered off and found Tobi dancing around to, _Don't stop the party by Pitbull_. I ignored him and continued wandering around until I found the back porch. It was filled with people.

I raised the cup to lips only to see that I was out of water.

"Sup dude!"

I turned around to see an stereotypical frat boy. He was wearing shorts and old tennis shoes, his shirt was rainbow color dye and he was wearing a _NASCAR_ hat that cover his long dirty-blond hair.

"Hey," I awkwardly greeted.

"Enjoying the party? Names Todd by the way," He stretched his hand out to me.

Oh god. "Max," I answered while shaking his hand. "Yeah great party."

"Seems you're out of fuel," Todd said noticing my empty cup. He reached in a nearby cooler and handed me a canned beer. "Here you go, bro."

I stared at the cold can in my hands. It's okay to drink one, I've been drinking water this entire time. I opened the beer up and took a sip letting the flavor sink in before I could start drinking it.

"So what's up dude, having the time of your life or what!" Todd exclaimed with a lot of excitement. His voice sounded as if he'd just smoked weed, and his face.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"What's so funny?" Todd asked.

"Drunk people make me laugh," I said through my laughter.

"I'm not drunk," He said in dential, but started smiling. "I'm the soberest one here, no drinks no drugs."

I raised an eyebrow at the beer in his hands. "Right."

"I'm serious bro, totally sober," Todd said again, only smiling harder. "...okay maybe you're the sober one here."

I nodded and accepted the beer he handed me.

"So where you from?"

"Just on the outskirts of town," I answered truthfully.

He nodded and said, "nice. I live here."

"Wait, you're the one throwing the party?" I said in surprise. I tipped the can a little farther to get more from the drink.

"Yeah, man," Todd grabbed another two beers. "I'm moving with my friend."

I slightly frowned. "If you don't mind me asking, but why are you moving?"

"We're actually cat therapist, believe it or not."

I finished the previous beer before opening the one I just got. "Huh? I don't believe you."

"Believe it my dude. I can feel the cat's energy, and that's how we speak. I guess it's more telepathic." Todd explained. I barely tipped the can back as it was just opened.

"So you're going to follow your dreams to be a cat therapist?" I asked him.

Todd nodded his head, "That's right bro, it's what I've been asked to do by the heavens. Tequila?"

I stopped mid drink and stared at Todd. He reach from the cooler and pulled out a _Tradicional_. I subconsciously gulped feeling the hair on my body stand. It all felt like time was flying.

"Here you go my dude," Todd laughed as he set four shots of tequila in front of the both of us. He linked his arm with mine as we took a shot. "Whoo!"

I let out a laugh. "Todd my man, you know what tequila is," I complimented him. He bowed and we took another shot.

I grasped my hands around the now warm beer can. Todd continued talking and I just nodded and laughed-and that's where I remember.

Seriously. That's as far as my memory goes. But I'm pretty sure I didn't drive the Akatsuki back because I think we stay at the house, furniture were arranged differently so that must be what happened.


	52. Cuffed By Rings

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORY LINE.**

 **So close! Summer break is getting closer! AHHHHHHHHH!**

* * *

 **Ana**

My heartbeat pulsed through my head, giving me the worst headache ever. My mouth felt dry and sticky. I slowly-very slowly opened my eyes, letting them wander around. This is odd, this isn't my room. I sighed and closed my eyes again, if I wasn't getting yelled at then I can continued sleeping.

For a second I thought I heard a scream, but it must have been in my head because I laid stiff and nothing happened. I flopped to the left side-bad thing is that I bumped into someone. Probably Linda, she'll sometimes get into bed with me when I'm sleeping.

I re-opened my eyes to see if I could push her a little to give me some space...but my stomach dropped. This was _definitely_ not Linda.

"Ahh!" I scream, nearly falling off the bed.

"What happen?" He asked as he sat up. That's when Sasuke realized our situation. "Wait...did..anything happen?"

I gave a heavy shrug, "I don't know! I don't think so, we're both still clothed and I was the only one under the covers!" I yelled and stuttered feeling heat rise to my cheeks.

"This isn't even my room," Sasuke noted.

"It's not mine," I stuttered. I opened my mouth to ask him if he remembered anything, but that's when another scream echoed through the house.

Sasuke and I took a glance at each other before running out the room. I was thrown into some confusion, this was our house. We both ran down the stairs and into the living room. Linda and Hidan were panting and staring horrifically at each other from across the room.

"What happened?!" I asked Linda.

"HE RAPED ME!" She screamed.

"What? I did not!" Hidan snapped back.

She stuck her tongue out at him, "you men are the same!" Linda's expression changed when she looked back over at me.

"What's that on your hand?" She asked.

My heart got faster, ringing through my ears. I slowly looked down, to see a ring...on my left hand.

"What's that?" Linda asked Sasuke. He looked down and his eyes widen. "And that!" She yelled over at Hidan.

Hidan slowly looked down at his left hand. "OH WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?" Hidan continued yelling.

"Ana..." Linda said in a soft voice. "I have one too." She muttered so low that I barely heard her.

"Maybe they're friendship rings," I forced a laugh to try and calm everyone.

"They're marriage rings," Sasuke said in a monotone voice, with some tiredness. He was looking at a beige folder with some paper inside. "I found it on top of the fridge." Sasuke said as if he read my mind.

"We don't know who we're married to," Hidan said as he began freaking out.

"We're married," Sasuke stated.

"Ew, why did I marry Uchiha's younger brother," Hidan said in disgust.

"We're not married," Sasuke snapped, "Ana and I are married, you got married to Linda." annoyance attached to his voice.

Everything grew silent. I got married...to Sasuke, I'm married to, Sasuke. Sasuke search through some papers and stopped, his eyes widen.

"Someone else got married," Sasuke rushed through his sentence, "and it's the worst couple."

"Who-who is it?" I stuttered in fear, "how bad is it?"

Sasuke sighed and brought his hand to his face. "Think...Kakuzu and Pein, kind of bad couple."

"PEIN AND KAKUZU GOT MARRIED!" Linda screamed in surprised.

"No you, idiot, I said it's as bad of a couple as Kakuzu and Pein."

Another scream echoed through the house. My palms grew sweaty as every person living here was going through my head. Was it Tobi and Konan, maybe Deidara and Itachi-I don't know I've read stories like that, they're not too bad. Zetsu and Pein, Kisame and Kakuzu. DAMN IT WHO WAS IT!

Foots steps were running down the stairs, giving hard thumps.

"ALL OF YOU!" A snap was sent through. "WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE GODDAMN RINGS?! AND WHY AM I HANDCUFFED!?" Max screamed.

"Get These Handcuffs Of Us! I don't want to be attached to her!" Sasori snapped. He looked around the room glaring at us.

Max might be a fan girl, but she and Sasori are quite hard to make a couple out of. Followed by Sasuke and her. The two shook with anger. Max stomped over to Sasuke hauling Sasori and shook him by collar.

"Help us!" She yelled.

"You two are married," Sasuke blurted out. He tensed once Max didn't let go-but she stopped.

I couldn't hold it in anymore, I burst out laughing. Linda also began laughing finding it funnier.

"HAHAHA, you-you got- AHAHAHAHA! You-Hahaha!" Linda's laughter grew louder and she began rolling on the couch trying hard to breath.

"I'm sorry but this is-hahah!" _I_ couldn't even get a sentence out.

"What-what's so funny?" Max asked with her face getting redder with anger and embarrassment.

I pound the couch as I laughed harder, my abs were burning and my eyes watered. I sucked in some breaths but I continued laughing, tears running down my face. I wiped them off and sat up letting little bits of chuckles out. Max and Sasori stay tensed, glaring at us they threw pillows.

Pein walked down the steps with some of his member. Konan walked down and looked at everyone before giggling.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Max snapped. "DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!?"

Konan stopped her giggling at stook with glaring at Max. Itachi and Kisame walked down the stairs to investigate what happened. Once they saw;

"Shit they're awake," Kisame said before walking back up the steps.

"Stop right there," Pein stopped them. "You two, tell us what you know. Were you two the only sober ones?"

"Yeah I thought you were going to drink, Kisame?" Linda asked him.

"I did but then something occurred, that made Itachi and I leave."

Sasori raised an eyebrow. "And that was…"

Kisame and Itachi glanced at each other before shrugging. Itachi activated his Makgekyō Sharingan and slipped all of us into his memories. I looked around to see the rest of us looking at a projection of Itachi's memories last night. The events were going fast forward, like how you do it to a DVD player.

He and Kisame were talking a bit, now they walked out the house and were walking down the street. The two reached a stand and bought something, and were walking again. Itachi stopped and played his memories from there.

" _Just looking at the amount of candy you plan to consume makes me sick," Kisame said with a sour look on his face._

" _As long as it's for me then I'm okay," Itachi shrugged._

" _Wait..." Kisame stopped on the sidewalk and squinted his eyes through the dark. "Is that..?"_

 _Itachi looked over to see a group of drunk people. The two crossed the street to get a better look at the drunk anime characters and three girls._

"I didn't even drink," I yelled.

 _"What's good Itachi, Kisame?" Max slurred. "This is my buddy Todd, Todd say hi."_

" _Sup dude," Todd smiled at the taller guys._

" _Todd had the best idea. Join us," Max said as she grabbed the two by the hands and led them to the direction to where they had just came from._

 _After about five minutes of walking, Max stopped the whole group in front of a church._

" _Let's go guys," She laughed out._

"First I marry a child, now it turns out that I got married at a church!" Hidan yelled, pissed.

 _A tired priest walked out and stared at the group. "What is the meaning of this?"_

" _We want to get married!" Max yelled. The rest in the back were cheering._

 _The priest looked at the group as if they were insane, which I don't blame him._

" _I'm not going to marry two drunk people," the priest declined._

 _Max shoved loads of money in his pocket, "what about now?"_

" _Come and let me wed you," the priest smiled at everyone._

 _Itachi took a glance at Kisame before the two followed the group._

" _Should we stop them?" Itachi asked._

" _If leader tries to get married then yes, other than that I want to see this."_

 _Itachi watch as the group tried to see who would get married. They giggle and laugh, Max suddenly bounced up and down._

 _She raised her hand up, "Ana, I haven't been a very nice person, so how about I get you married to my boy, Sasuke?"_

 _I shrugged, then hiccupped._

" _Um, Max?" Itachi spoke._

" _Done!" Linda and Hidan screamed before Itachi had a chance to speak._

" _What did you do?" Kisame asked the two._

" _We got married."_

" _Why!"_

" _I don't know," Linda shrugged her shoulders. Tobi ran up to her and jump around, screaming that he was happy for her. Kisame face palmed._

 _He turned and glare at Hidan, "you try anything on my little guppy and I'll give Jashin something to sacrifice," Kisame hissed._

 _"Awe, Sasuke is all grown up," Konan said happily._

 _Max turned and looked over at the three men. "So sexy trio, Deidara, you want to get married?"_

" _I might be drunk but I'm not an idiot, not this time at least," Deidara muttered the last part._

" _Itachi?"_

" _I'm fine, thank you," Itachi politely turned her down._

 _Max let out a sigh, she looked over at Sasori. A smirk played on her lips. "Sasori want to be my husband?"_

 _Sasori remained silent with his eyes narrowed down. He reminded me of a doll from every horror movie._

" _If Sasori is quiet then we get married. Sasori you want to get married?" Max whisper. Sasori remain quiet and motionless. "Alrighty then!"_

 _Max grabbed Sasori by the hand and lead him to the alter. Itachi walked over to Pein and Kakuzu-who had a camera out._

" _Leader, are you sure it's okay to let them do this?" Itachi asked._

 _Pein shrugged with a smile, "let them take this as a life lesson."_

" _What's with the camera?"_

" _Black mail," Kakuzu answered without looking over at Itachi._

" _Congratulations, husband," Max said as she threw her arms around Sasuke._

" _Um...Max, your husband is a redhead," Linda said._

 _Max's eyes widen. "Oh my god you're right." She looked over at the limp Sasori as he sat on the pew. "Hi sweetie! Aww, now that I'm married to Sasori, that means Deidara and Itachi and single."_

"Hey," Max called us, "I didn't know you kept water in here, Itachi."

I looked over and noticed a giant gallon of water that had the water dispenser. Holy shit, I walked over to it and pulled a paper cup. I poured myself water and took some sips. Well this is an odd thing to have in a genjutsu.

 _Max (from the memory) suddenly smirk and began giggling to herself. "Kisame," she call out a little more seductive than necessary. "Come here."_

 _Kisame cautiously walked over to Max to see what she had to say. She leaned up and cupped her mouth to whisper to him._

 _Kisame looked down at her when she finished whispering. "I don't think that's a good idea."_

 _Max shooed him and walked over to the altar to grab something. She walked back and looked over at Deidara. He sighed and signed the paper. She walked over to Itachi with a smile._

" _Itachi I need you to sign this, it's super important, you're a witness to all marriages."_

 _Itachi sighed and signed the paper. Before he had a chance to read, Max snatched it and screamed and ran through the group with Kisame. After some seconds Kisame came back with his eyes wide open._

" _What happened?" Itachi asked, suspicion in his voice._

" _Um...you might want to take a look."_

 _Itachi took the paper and read through it._

Max (this max) and I took a drink.

 _Itachi took the paper and read it. Blah, blah, marriage to...Deidara….and Itachi Uchiha._

Max and I spat some water out, choking.

 _Kisame stared as the black haired man looked up at him. Kisame ran and grabbed Max and Sasori, throwing them on his shoulders. "I actually kind of like you!" He yelled at Max. Kisame kicked the doors open and ran out._

 _The paper in Itachi's hands burned with amatarasu, of course the paper was just a copy from the original._ Itachi stopped the memory and we all stood silent in the jutsu.

"You!" Deidara snapped-breaking the silence-as he looked over at Max. "You tricked me into getting married, to-" Deidara paused and looked over at Itachi, " _HIM_ of all people!"

Max trembled as not only Deidara was out to murder her, but dark chakra was floating around Sasori as he grew extremely pissed.

"Who disrupted the chakra flow in my body?" Sasori asked, his voice low and murderous.

"Not me."

"Not me."

"Definitely not Tobi!" Tobi said a little too loud. Sasori eyes burned into Tobi's soul. He roughly raised his left hand to get a puppet, but failed that he was handcuffed to Max. She was pulled a little too hard and fell forward taking Sasori along.

"CAN ANYONE GET THESE DAMN HANDCUFFS OFF US!?" The two snapped.

Sasuke walked over to them and wrapped his finger on the chain. With lightning style he broke the chain off them. Deidara took this opportunity to get Max alone as Sasori scaringly walked over to Tobi.

"You're dead," Deidara threatened as he raised his fist up. Max let out a scream hoping that someone would save her.

Deidara swung but face planted onto the floor as he completely missed Max. We were out of the genjutsu. Max jumped and ran over to Itachi grasping onto him.

"I'LL GET YOU MORE CANDY! MONEY TO BUY MORE CANDY! COUPONS! JUST DON'T LET DEIDARA HURT ME!" Max yelled out in hysteria. "I WAS DRUNK I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS DOING!" She continued pleading.

Deidara jumped up from the ground pointed over at Itachi. "You better not sell me out over candy, husband!"

I let out a long snort. "Where's the camera?"

"Right here," Kakuzu answered as got the three in the shot. Deidara's face redden.

"Wait, where are their rings?" Hidan asked.

"I have them, Max gave me the paper and rings," Kisame pulled out the paper and rings from his cloak. He tossed them to Deidara and Itachi.

"I will not be married to him!" Deidara yelled. He tossed the ring up with his clay and yelled his, Katsu thing. Kakuzu grabbed the ring before it had a chance to get blown up.

"What the hell!" Deidara yelled.

"You idiot, don't you know that we can sell the rings when you guys get a divorce!" Kakuzu snapped at Deidara.

"I call Itachi's ring then," Max yelled calling dibs. "We each take one of the married couples." She tried compromising with Kakuzu.

He let out a sigh, "fine."

"Max may you let go of me?" Itachi asked.

"But Sasori and Deidara!"

"You know that you also tricked Itachi into getting married," I reminded her. She froze and looked up at Itachi. She screamed and ran wrapping her arms around Sasuke and Konan.

"Help Me!"

Pein sighed and banged on the wall to get everyone's attention. "Listen you whiny brats," he announced. "Let me tell you what you all have to do, and what the plan is.

"Yes, Max and Sasori are married, Ana and Sasuke, Linda and Hidan and Deidara and Itachi also got married. I am aware of that, but today we will eat breakfast like any other day. After breakfast we will go and find out how fast we can divorce you guys. Until then you will keep the rings on, and the documents stay with either Max or Ana. Do I make myself clear?"

We all now nodded and kept silent.

"Good," Pein retreated more peaceful.

I walked to the kitchen to start making breakfast. I wonder if I can to take the ring off just to cook and shower, hope Pein doesn't mind.

* * *

 _ **After Hours...**_

Todd leaned to the left, drool coming out his mouth. He was nudged awake and slightly spaz as he woke up.

"W-what happened?"

"You're in a church my son," the priest softly spoke.

"Weird…" Todd shrugged, "I've had weirder nights."

The priest help Todd up, "you must leave, and I have seven o'clock mass soon."

Todd slightly frowned. "I thought that it was Saturday?"

"That was yesterday. You're friends left you here after getting married," the priest continued explaining.

"Huh? I don't remember going to a wedding," Todd thought out loud. He shrugged. "Whatever, see ya bro."


	53. Wifey

**Ana: A little birdy told us that some of you guys are already out of school (college maybe), while some of you are almost out.**

 **Max: And if you're one of the schools who had a terrible winter and have to make up school days-**

 **Linda: Our thoughts and heart and prayers are with you. Just BELIVE IT! In yourself...believe in yourself.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **OH MY GOD! I ONLY HAVE TOMORROW UNTIL I'M OUT OF HELL!**

 **School is almost over (where I live) and I'm so excited to just relax and be lazy, and let's not forget-that I'll have more time to type. Seriously, I got a planner to help with my writing. I'll be spending most of my time writing and drawing.**

 **With the free time I'll be working on this story and other stories and one-shots that I want to post.**

 **But who cares, let's just get on with the chapter.**

 **It's short...sorry.**

* * *

 **Linda**

I helped Max with setting food on the table and passing out forks and cups. The Akatsuki slowly entered the room sitting around the table, awkwardly trying to avoid the people they legally married. But I somehow still ended up sitting next to Hidan. Thankfully Pein was sitting next to me.

"Sasuke can you hand me the syrup," Max asked in a whisper. Sasuke grabbed the syrup and placed it in front of her. "Thanks."

I cleared my throat, adjusting my shirt. The house was a little warmer than usual. The heater was set on low for the cold September morning. Winter in Iowa doesn't really start until the end of November or the start of December, it depends when the snow decides to hang out with us. The breakfast was all quiet and awkward. That's when Deidara suddenly jumped out of his seat with his finger pointer at us, and his eyes hard.

"I told you guys didn't I!?" Deidara yelled.

"Tell us what?" I asked him all confused

"When I was looking for my pouch you guys said I wouldn't need it, but then I said that I had a bad feeling, like something drastic was going to happen!" Deidara said.

"Deidara, I doubt this was the bad feeling you got," Max said. "You would have avoided going with us and would have not gotten drunk."

Deidara's eye twitch and darken as Max was right.

"Tch, whatever. I still feel something bad is going to happen…" Deidara muttered, he sat back down in his seat.

We continued eating in silence. I felt really uncomfortable just hearing my fork and plate move loudly as the others were eating quietly. Halfway through breakfast Hidan poked me on the shoulder. I slowly looked back and stared at him.

"Wifey-"

"Wifey?" I held my hand up to stop him. "Did you just called me Wifey?" I asked Hidan with disgust in my voice.

He smirked. "Well with that attitude I'm going to say yes." Hidan let out an evil chuckle. "Why? Don't like your nickname?"

I frowned and replied, "I don't like it."

He sighed, "that doesn't matter."

I turned around again and continued eating until I was called again.

"Hey, Wifey. Make me a sandwich I'm still hungry."

"WHOA!" Max called out from the end of the table. "Hidan what the hell? That was fucking sexist."

"I don't see it," Hidan arched an eyebrow. Max shook her head side to side.

"That reminds me, who would be the alpha in these relationships if Max is too independent for labels?" Ana asked herself out loud.

"But Sasori is just as dominate as Max," Konan added.

Max let out a snort, "Ana and Sasuke are just as submissive."

"NO I'M NOT!" The two of them snapped.

"And Hidan likes to take advantage," Kisame muttered as he stared at Hidan with murderous eyes. Hidan took a scoot closer to me.

Kakuzu slowly brought the camera out and secretly pointed at Itachi and Deidara. "Well what about Uchiha and Goldilocks?"

The two looked at each other, and looked back at us. "Me!"

They looked back at each other again. "NO ME!"

Ana smacked her hand around her mouth. I didn't have to ask, I already know what she was think about in the nasty little mind of hers. Fanfiction, Itachi x Deidara.

"I would believe Deidara if he's the alpha of the relationship, if he just wasn't with Itachi right now." Hidan pointed out. He scoot closer to me when he saw Deidara's eye twitch and reach for a knife.

"I have the definition of an alpha male if you want?" Max asked. She looked down at her iPod and read the following, " _A man tending to assume a dominant or domineering role in social or professional situations._ "

Everyone began laughing and pointing at Itachi.

"That's so Itachi!" Tobi yelled.

"You aren't' the alpha male at all, Deidara!" Kisame barked a laugh.

"SHUT THE HELL UP! I'M GOING TO BLOW EVERYONE UP, AND THEN I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU, ITACHI!" Deidara yelled at us with his face red from getting pissed off.

"That's enough, quit bullying your team member," Pein said.

The fourteen of us finished up our breakfast and walked into the living room to watch some tv. I grabbed the remote and flipped through the channel. I left it on the _Animal Planet_. They were airing _Too Cute_.

"Wifey, can you turned the volume up a little?" Hidan asked.

My eye twitched on it's own. I slowly looked over at Hidan trying not to strangle him. "My name isn't Wifey, I will never be your Wifey...emotionally." I corrected myself.

Hidan shrugged, "you're Wifey either way."

"But when _Can_ we get a divorce!?" Deidara complained to Pein as they both walked into the room.

Pein sighed and rubbed between his eyes. His patience with Deidara recently was very low.

"Fine we'll see if Max can drive us to where ever we need to go to get a divorce," Pein said. "Max, drive us!"

"After this episode, man" Max called out without taking her eyes off the tv.

"YOU ARE GOING TO DRIVE US WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!" Deidara yelled. "UNLIKE YOU WHO WANTS TO STAY WITH SASORI, I DON'T WANT TO STAY WITH UCHIHA!"

Max's jaw dropped, "like I would want to stay married."

"Then let's got."

"Fine!" She yelled. Max stomped off walking past me to the front door. She swung it open but remained standing, frozen.

"Akatsuki corporation?" A woman with long wavy red hair asked, her brown eyes meeting Max's hazel ones.

"..."

"You are all under arrest."


	54. Detective Jade Broklyn

**Max: School's out!**

 **Ana: I can taste the freedom!**

 **Max: I can see the freedom!**

 **Ana: I can feel the freedom!**

 **Linda: I can see you two idiots.**

 ***M & A glare***

 **Linda: You're weird.**

 **Max: You're weird.**

 **Linda: Stop mocking me.**

 **Max: Deja vu…**

 **Ana: *eye roll* you're both weird.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Summer is here-kinda. My break...oh how I needed a break.**

 **I'm SOOOOO SORRY! I got in some author funk, I feel so guilty-kinda. At first I didn't but my ideas began returning so now I feel a bit more guilty.**

 **HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY ITACHI!**

* * *

 **Max**

I continuously pulled on the only thing that is keeping me from running away, and from getting boys. The handcuffs were keeping me and this bench very close. Being the last one I have to be handcuffed to a bench and Sasori. Pein is also handcuffed to the bench, and sadly to Tobi. I feel slightly bad for him.

"Great, I get out of handcuffs, only to get into another pair of handcuffs." I sighed.

Jade gave me a quick glare. She turned back around and continued filling out a report. Jade-a detective I think (I wasn't paying attention)- was the woman who came in to arrest the fourteen of us. It didn't go well at first when we were being shoved into a van, getting our rights read to us. I'll tell you that I said a lot of stuff.

I suddenly jumped when I felt a needle go into my hand. I looked over to see Sasori grab my hand.

"If you wanted to hold hands than tell me. You could at least be more gentle." I quietly hissed at Sasori.

"No you moron," He snapped back. "We're passing on a chakra point to hear everyone's story. We're all going to have to add information and lie." Sasori explained.

I slowly nodded, "that's a pretty good idea."

"We _are_ the Akatsuki after all."

Jade looked over at us with a strong hateful look. She walked closer to the fourteen of us. "Do you have any idea how long it took to track all of you?"

"I don't know, two...hours?" Deidara answered.

"Three months, I've always had an eye on you guys," Jade hissed.

"I've had had an eye on you too," Hidan said scanning her up and down.

"I'll fight you if I have too."

"Yeah, you can fight me with your mouth," Hidan winked. Jade's eye twitched.

"Really?" Linda asked looking over at him.

"Quiet Wifey."

I let out an amusing sigh. "Look lady, can we just get this over with I have important things to do."

"Oh yeah what's that?" Jade asked looking over at me. Her ponytail brushed against her back as she walked towards me.

"Well first I'm hungry so I was planning on eating my lunch." I explained.

"You had breakfast?" Sasori pointed out.

"Hungry. I was also planning on doing some exercise."

"Exercise?"

"Exercise," I repeated myself to Sasori.

Jade looked back and forward at Sasori and I. "What are you guys? Partners?"

"Wife…"

"And Husband."

"Alright miss confident. I guess we'll interrogate you first." Jade said. She walked over to me and took the handcuff that Sasori and I were sharing and cuffed both of my wrist.

I was lead down a long hallway of other interrogation rooms. Jade stopped me near the middle and unlocked the door. I was sat on a metal chair and my hands were let go from the metal chains.

"Why don't we start with your name." Jade began.

"Max, short for Max." I said with a smile.

"Last name?"

"Smith."

"Smith?"

"Yes."

Jade frowned. "So your full name is Max Smith."

I nodded.

"So tell me Max, what is the purpose of Akatsuki Corporation?" Jade leaned back in the chair across from me with her pencil ready.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "I mean we sell homestyle stuff but we don't have a purpose."

"...you sell drugs. You have Akatsuki Corporation printed on your packets."

"That's what we call copyright filth. These drug dealers are using our name without meaning to. We already called the big man to fix it." I explained.

"And why haven't you "fixed" it?" Jade asked.

"We're just the bridge of the company to help bring it over to America."

Jade slowly nodded. "Okay then how do you explain these photos on a attack. It happened during a big birthday banquet."

"Anyone could have done it," I said bluntly.

"Are you saying that anyone can pull of a terrorist attack?"

"It's a sad truth."

Jade grit her teeth together and continued glaring at me. "Time's up," she snapped. Her grip was a lot harder on me than before. We walked down the same hallway. I was pushed on to the bench where I was handcuffed back to Sasori.

"You're next," Jade pointed out to Kakuzu. She unhandcuffed him and lead Kakuzu down the same hallway that I went.

"Good job Max," Deidara complimented me.

"You're so terrible," Konan said.

I let out a chuckle. "Yeah, but now she's playing in our hands."

* * *

TWO DAMN HOURS! How long does it take to integrate fourteen people?! I slumped down the floor. We were moved to a room that is currently being guarded by a police officer. I sighed and began rubbing my tummy and patting my head out of boredom. The door opened and Deidara stepped into the room.

"Alright, last one."

Hidan smirked and got up. "Saving the best for last I see."

Jade gagged before walking out with Hidan.

I crossed my legs and tapped my chin to think. An idea suddenly came to me. I looked over at Konan with a smile.

"What?" She asked uncomfortably.

"I need to borrow a sheet of paper."

"Why?" she asked pulling a small paper out.

"I'm bored," I stated taking the paper. I pulled out the pencil that I always keep in my back pocket.

I began scribbling down the idea I had. It's crucial that my handwriting is illegible. I stood up and walked back over to Konan.

"Here," I said handing it. "I wrote you a poem."

"Oh, thank you." Konan said awkwardly as she received my note.

The door swung open just as the note left my hand. Hidan walked in with a big smirk and a red handprint on his cheek. Jade walked in pissed.

"Yay! Do we get to go home?" Tobi asked jumping up from his seat.

"No!"

"Aww…" Tobi slowly sank back into his seat.

I let out a frustrated groan. "If I give you evidence that we aren't guilty will you let us go?" I asked.

Jade raised an eyebrow at me. "I might."

Challenge accepted. "We did know about the banquet. But only because we got an email from a young lad-Jason. He wanted enough platters to serve his party."

"What's this kids email?"

I walked over and wrote down the email on Jade's pad. She walked out screaming the name Stan. After about ten minutes Jade and a boy that I could only assume is stan, walked back in.

"So?"

"You're free to go." Stan said. He opened the door and unhandcuffed us one by one.

I stepped down the stairs putting on some sunglasses. Some officer returned my wallet phone and the keys to the Volkswagen. They brought it in to help with the investigation. Sasori took passenger seat. I shoved the key in the ignition and turned it on, hearing the beautiful engine roar. Man do I feel badass today.

"Let's go home," Ana sighed.

I stopped mid way from touching the stick. My mind went into mush. "T-T-T-TOKYO!"

"Don't tell me?"

"TOKYO GHOUL!" I cried out.

"Here we go…" Linda sighed.

* * *

 _ **After Hours…**_

"Waitress!?"

"She's right there," Sasuke said annoyed.

"Oh...right," Max muttered. "I'd like to add a plate of fries to my order, with a large chocolate milkshake."

The waitress sighed and wrote down the order on her pad. Once she left the Akatsuki's eye found their way to the end of the table where Max was sitting.

"Alright, now that, that's out of the way," Pein said.

"How exactly did you get us out anyway?" Itachi asked.

"It was quite simple. I wrote down some instructions to our loyal sellers to make a fake email-from there I had Konan send it out. She sunk the paper into Hidan's clothes, and once he was out she blew the paper outside." Max nodded her head feeling all smart.

"How did you possible think of that?" Ana asked.

Max shrugged, "I thought of it while I took that ten minute nap."

"What was in the email?" Pein asked as he reach for the rolls.

"It said that Jason wanted platters for the party."

"Since when did we call our drugs platters?" Kisame asked.

"We do now!" Max laughed.

* * *

 **My heart goes out to the victims of the Orlando shooting. Especially to the LGBTQ community. It's terrible that assholes in this world would do such a terrible thing for something that shouldn't even be their business. It's sad that now-2016-some people have to be afraid of who they are or who they love. Once I heard that the shooting happened in Pulse, I felt a piece break in my heart because I've always stood on the side for equality and diversity.**

 **I just want everyone to stay safe and to just love-don't hate.**


	55. IDIOT!

**Max: I hope we continue making your day great.**

 **Ana: Because it's two chapters!**

 **Linda: Two for the price of one.**

 **Max: And we're not just saying that because we've been gone for...nearly three weeks….**

 **Ana:...we're terrible people…**

 **Linda: On the brightside...you're smart because you can read….**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Ana**

"I REFUSE!" Linda yelled in protest.

I dragged my hand down my face. "I don't see the difference, so stop with the diva show, and DRINK IT!"

"THERE'S NOTHING IN IT!"

I swear, I'm coming real close to strangling Linda. Max came around to the other side of the counter.

"You still at it?" She asked.

"Yeah," I sighed and leaned back.

"I got this," She said. "Linda…?" Max called out softly.

"Yeah?" Linda gazed up.

"You better drink your milk! OR I SWEAR I'LL SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!" Max snapped.

"YOU'RE MEAN!"

"Whoah! What's all the yelling for?"

I looked over and saw Kakuzu and Hidan coming down the stairs, walking towards us. Hidan stopped in front of the three of us as Kakuzu continued walking towards the dining room. I called for breakfast not too long ago.

"So what's the problem?" Hidan asked again.

"They're trying to get me to drink milk-without chocolate!" Linda shrieked.

"Okay…? What, you don't like milk?" Hidan questioned, feeling a little more confused than before.

"I. Do. Not!" Linda demanded.

Hidan seemed a little taken back. "I thought most nine year olds liked milk."

"I'm turning thirteen soon!"

"Could have fooled me," Hidan shrugged and followed after Kakuzu.

Linda's mouth dropped completely. I began laughing and pointing at her. "He called you a nine year old!"

"SHUT UP!"

I walked into the dining room as most of the Akatsuki came down. I took my seat next to Kakuzu and Linda. Max walked in backwards trying to change the channel from back here. I picked my knife and fork up and began slicing through the stack of pancakes.

"Max, what are you doing?" Pein asked setting his mug down.

"Hold on...there!" She said happily. "Sorry, just because I live with Hidan doesn't mean I can't get a dose of aggressive fourth graders." Max took a seat down and watched the tv.

I turned around to see that South Park was on. Makes sense.

' _Shut the fuck up, Cartman! You oversized bag of fat fuck!'_

I looked over and saw Hidan mid way through cutting his last pancake.

"Did you say fourth graders?" He asked.

"Yes!" Max laughed.

Pein sighed. "They have such a colorful and dirty mouth."

I agreed with Pein and continued eating.

"So? Do we have anything planned for today?" Zetsu asked.

Pein and Konan looked at each other and shrugged. "Maybe a relax day?" Pein suggested.

Deidara jumped up and slammed his hand on the table. Making the liquids in our cups move. "Wrong answer, Pein!"

Pein looked up and over at Deidara with a raised eyebrow. "What?"

"You said that we would go to the court house. But we couldn't cuz we got arrested." Deidara snapped. "There will be no relax day, we are going to start the divorce!"

"Glad I didn't marry him," Max muttered. "Am I right, Sasori?"

"Hm," Sasori nodded.

"Glad I didn't marry him!" Deidara mocked back. "We're going after we finish eating."

"Um excuse me? We have something important today." I called out to everyone.

"What now?!" Linda asked annoyed.

"It's Saturday."

"Yeah and tomorrow is Sunday, what's your point?" Kakuzu asked.

"You never sass me," I said feeling offended, but I continued. "We need to clean. When was the last time we all cleaned the house?"

The Akatsuki began thinking back in their heads.

"Since we moved in," Sasuke answered for them.

"That's nearly three weeks," I scrunched my nose.

Tobi stood up and nodded. "I really need to clean the closet. Make sure there are no monsters living in there. Am I right, Linda?" Tobi stated.

Linda frowned. "Why would you say that?"

"Well I thought nine year olds were still afraid of monsters in closets?"

"I'm turning thirteen soon!" Linda yelled.

Tobi shrugged. "Could have fooled me."

"Right!" Hidan said.

"YOU GUYS ARE BULLIES!" Linda yelled at everyone.

"Oh yeah that reminds me," Max said, her eyes still focused on the tv. "Did you drink your milk?"

"...no…."

Max's gaze dropped and moved to where Linda was sitting. "Pull your pants down."

Linda's eyes widen and she ran out the room screaming.

"I TOLD YOU I'D SHOVE THE MILK UP YOUR ASS IF YOU DIDN'T DRINK IT!" Max screamed as she chase Linda out.

I slowly looked over at the Akatsuki. "So I'll clean the kitchen first."

They nodded and got up to start cleaning.

* * *

 _Itsuadatte ima datte bokura wa chanto mi o musunde, ima datte tobitatteyuku…_

I continued humming to _Diver_ as I finished cleaning up the kitchen. I just had to give the counters one last wipe and I'm good. As I was about to finish when my eye caught a piece of paper on the table. I walked over and picked it up. It was a receipt for gas.

It struck me when I placed the paper in the trash. Where was the folder? The folder that had all the marriage papers was gone. It was sitting on top of the fridge a minute ago.

"Pein is going to kill me," I muttered to myself as I frantically began searching for it. I opened up the fridge to see if it was in there. I doubt it would be.

"Looking for something?"

I turned around to see Deidara holding the folder. "Uh, yeah." The tone in Deidara's voice sent goosebumps down my arm. It was slow and cynical.

"Max and Sasori," Deidara said as he began taking the papers out, one by one. "You and Sasuke. Linda and Hidan. Oh look-" He said with a short pause. "My name and Uchiha's."

"Deidara…?"

"We could have been at the courthouse right now. But no, Ana had to clean the house." Deidara said.

My eyes widen as the paper dust slowly settled. I numbly walked over to where Deidara had left two and two together.

"You IDIOT!" I screamed as I hit Deidara on his forehead.

"What the hell was that for?!" He rubbed his head.

"You just ripped your marriage paper!" I shrieked. Panic began flowing through me.

"You know, you don't want me to get a divorce because of that stupid fanfiction stuff you like to read. But I'm on to you." Deidara gave me a side glare.

"If you don't have the marriage paper, you can't get a divorce! Or it makes it harder!"

"Wait…."

"You can't get a divorce now!" I screamed. I ran my hands through my hair. This was bad, this was really bad. Not only is Pein going to be upset, but Itachi. What would Itachi do?

"Ana?"

Deidara and I gave each other a glance as we heard Itachi coming down the stairs. Deidara threw the papers into the folder and shoved it to me. I barely tossed the folder aside just as Itachi walked in.

"Yeah!" My voice cracked.

Itachi frowned at us. "Here is all the trash from up stairs." Itachi held up a big trash bag.

"I'll have Deidara take it out," I said. Itachi gave the both of us a last glance before letting out a sigh and going back upstairs.

I let out a stressed sigh. "You are so fucked!" Was all I said to Deidara.

* * *

Max tapped the pen on the table as she hummed softly to herself. "When is he getting here?"

Hidan shrugged. "The guy at the front desk said he'd come in about five minutes."

The brown door to the office opened up. An older man with white hair walked in. His suit seemed a little loose on him.

"What can I do for you?" He asked as he took a seat at the desk.

"We need a divorce!" Max burst out.

"Well you're straight forward," the man chuckled. "But what really brought you guys here?"

"Look man, I got married to some nine year old-"

"Almost thirteen," Linda corrected Hidan.

"-In a place that my religion isn't apart of. So you better get this moving, and you better get this done fast." The man trembled at Hidan.

Pein spoke out. "I'd like this divorce to happen in about a month, or you will see a side of me that'll leave you not only in tears. But you'll wake up in cold sweat, always feeling a movement in the air as-"

"The point is we want a quick divorce!" Max cut in. Pein gave her a glare for interrupting him.

The man, who later showed us his plaque, read through the papers. "Okay, so the only people who aren't minors are those two young men over there?"

I nodded my head.

"I don't know where to begin, oh how about the fact that some people under 18 got married!" Jeffrey snapped.

"So are you going to help us or what?" Sasuke asked.

Jeffrey tensed up once Pein looked at him. "I can try and see what can be done."

We nodded and the building. I raise my hand up to cover the sun. It was shining brighter today than usual.

"Deidara?" Itachi called.

Deidara slowly looked over in fear. "Y-yes?"

"I just like to inform you that someone has ruined our marriage paper, making it difficult for us to get a divorce."

"Oh, well that's too bad."

A dark power began blooming out of Itachi. "I guess I'm going to have to teach them a lesson on reality and their own fantasy."

Deidara began trembling. "...thank you…."

Sasori frowned not understanding. I walked over and patted Deidara's shoulder for good luck. Boy was he going to need it.

* * *

 **Thanks for waiting. I hope two chapters is a good present of my apology. I was also having technical difficulties on uploading the chapters. Don't forget to review...please.**

* * *

 _ **After Hours…**_

Zetsu tossed and turn, trying really hard to fall asleep. He sighed. His eyes closed but snapped open when a sound came from his door.

"Tobi?" Zetsu asked. Tobi responded with a snore and a giggle as a response to his dream.

Zetsu sighed again and got up. He opened the door, looked both ways, but didn't find anything. "Weird?" He muttered.

Zetsu was about to re enter his room but stopped when a creepy figure appeared. He slowly back away.

"Z-z-zetsu…"

Zetsu slowly began freaking out.

"Zetsu...the…."

Zetsu's eyes widen as he realized who was standing in front of him.

"Dinosaur."

"AHHH!" Zetsu screamed and ran down the hall and into the living room.

"ZETSU THE DINOSAUR!" Linda began singing at the top of her lungs. She chased Zetsu into a corner. "Zetsu the dinosaur."

Zetsu stared in horror at the costume in the twelve year old's hand.


	56. ME! ME! ME!

**Linda: Me! Me! Me! Me!**

 **It's** _ **my**_ **birthday. A day where everyone bows down to me. Ahahahah! But on a more serious note…there isn't. I'm queen Today!**

 **Ana: Linda I think you-**

 **Linda: Shut it, peasant!**

 **Ana:…You'll pay.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Sorry I've been gone, you see I was moving houses on the 25th [June] and we didn't have WIFI installed until the 20th. So I couldn't really use my computer.**

 **But now I'm here so enjoy two chapters of Akatsuki Corporation.**

 **By the way, thank you CombustionNation, FailingErin, and Jahariah. For favoriting, following (me and the story) and reviewing.**

 **Mm, I love Reviews.**

 **Also happy birthday to Max, July 24th!**

* * *

 **Linda**

Don't you think life is interesting. A day where life is pushed out of a woman, but I don't know specifically, that's a Max problem. A time where you can't be messed with, a day called…Birthday. Yes everyone today is my birthday, and I hope I get a good cake. Because now that I live with the Akatsuki, and after witnessing Max's birthday, I know now that something bad is going to happen. So let's find out what it is before it becomes worse. Let's Go!

I quietly tip-toed to the kitchen. "Psss…," I called out to Ana as she scribbled something on a piece of paper. She looked up and over to the fridge.

"What do you want?" Ana said with a scowl as she gave me a sideways glare.

"I just want to know what you're doing," I answered back. "So what are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm fixing some problems that the Akatsuki left. Why?" She asked.

"Nothing…" I said, trying to act "natural." I bet Ana is designing my cake.

"Ana!" Deidara called out as he made his way down the steps. "We have a problem, what are you doing?" He stopped and looked over to see what she was writing. He looked over at me and gave a small nod. _I knew it!_

I sauntered over and leaned my elbow on the counter. "So what do you need, Deidara?"

"Oh, I just needed Ana's help with my marriage paper problem," Deidara nodded and began leading my sister to the library.

I stared as the two left, and chuckled to myself. First, I know that Deidara was the one who ripped, his and Itachi's marriage paper (I was watching from the laundry room). Second, they also probably wanted a private place to talk about my birthday. I mean, why else would Ana take her paper.

I made my way up the stairs, taking the first left. I nearly bumped into the gorgeous Itachi.

"Hi!" I chirped.

"Hello," Itachi stared down at me.

"So what are you doing? What's in the box?" I asked.

Itachi looked down at the small pink box with a purple ribbon around both sides. "Something," he said.

I gave a slow nodded. "Something?" It's totally my birthday present.

There was an awkward moment as the two of us were standing in the middle of the hallway.

"Bye," Itachi said as he walked passed me.

I watched as he walked down the hall towards the stairs. I shrugged and made my way over to Max and Sasuke's room. The door was wide open, so I walked in making knocking noises.

"Oh hey, Little Guppy!"

"Kisame? What are you doing here?" I asked him.

He pointed his head over to the lumps under Max and Sasuke's bed sheets.

"What's up with those two?" I pointed at the bed, "and why are you wearing a lab coat, Kisame?"

"That's Dr. Kisame Hoshigaki to you!" He snapped, "and Max got Sasuke sick so they're both staying bed. By the way, you should probably wear this." Kisame handed me an extra mask.

"If I have to wear this then shouldn't you close the door?"

Kisame remained quiet. "Oh look a breeze," he said walking over and closing the door.

"So what's wrong with them?" I asked putting my mask on.

"Some stomach ache and fever," Kisame sighed.

I nodded and hanged around for a bit. Afterwards I said bye and walked out once one of them was going to hurl.

"Can I come in?" I asked as I stood outside Hidan and Kakuzu's room.

"Ahh, fine!" Hidan groaned. "What do you want, Wifey?" He asked as I walked into the room.

I stopped, "could you please stop calling me that."

"Does it annoy you?"

"Yes!"

"Then No!" He laughed.

I let out a groan and closed the door behind me. "Where is Kakuzu?"

"He's talking to Pein about stuff," Hidan began flipping through his Jashin book.

"Ah, so they're talking about stuff. You and I are talking about stuff," I added.

"Deidara and Sasori talk about stuff."

"Ana and I talk about stuff."

"Max and I talk about dirty stuff."

"I like stuff."

"What are we doing?" Hidan asked.

I shrugged, "talking about stuff."

Hidan sighed and tossed his book to the side. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I…don't know," I frowned to myself. "Well I guess I'm off, bye!"

"See ya, kid."

I paused. "Don't you have something else to say?"

"Close the door on your way out?"

I crossed my arms as I closed Hidan's door. I thought he was going to say happy birthday. That's when it struck me.

"Not only are they going to throw a birthday party, but they're also faking that they forgot my birthday!" I shook my head chuckling. "Those guys." I skipped my way to the next room.

* * *

After helping Ana set the table, the Akatsuki and I sat to eat.

"Where are Max and Sasuke?" Pein asked. He likes keeping tabs on everyone and organizing them.

"Fucking!"

"Sick."

Kisame and Deidara stared at each other as the two of them shouted complete opposites.

Ana's eyebrows twitched. "So how did they get sick?"

"Well," Kisame began, "I believe that it began with a stomach ache and increased to a fever."

"You are not a doctor!" Itachi snapped.

"I have multiple careers, Itachi!" Kisame yelled. "You just don't understand my life!" Itachi sighed and rubbed his eyes.

"So," I began, "what other fun things have you all done on this, eighth of October?"

The Akatsuki stared at me. Konan was the first to speak.

"Why did you say it like that?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No reason," I said with a quiet chuckle.

"You just felt like saying it in that way?" Pein asked me. I can feel the judging. I nodded my head.

Everyone continued staring at me. Any minute now, they'll crack.

"Okay," just as Kakuzu said that everyone went back to talking among themselves.

I see the game they're playing, for their benefit of keeping my party a secret they're all acting like they don't know it's my birthday. Man, these Akatsuki members are good.

I got up from the table once I had finished my food. "Well if you don't mind me I'll be in my _room_ doing _Linda_ things."

"Okay?" Deidara said awkwardly. "You can leave."

"Are okay, Little Guppy?" Kisame gave me an odd look.

"Ugh!" Hidan whined, "can't you care somewhere else?!" He gagged to himself.

Kisame looked over at Hidan before saying, "Sasuke has just informed me that Max's fever raised but she has cold sweat."

"I can't let my partner in crime die! Who else will tolerate me?!" Hidan jumped up from his chair and over the table, running out the dining room.

"Bitch…" Kisame muttered. "FUCK!" He yelled as a shurikan dug its way into his back.

"Bitch," Hidan said as he walked away from the doorway.

Kisame snatched the weapon from his back and twirled in on his finger. He got up and chased Hidan up the stairs.

"BITCH!" Kisame yelled.

"Ah, FUCK YOU, KISAME!" Hidan screamed.

I looked back over at the Akatsuki. "I'll be going now."

* * *

I mischievously giggled to myself as I slipped into bed. ' _Any time now, all thirteen of them are going to come and surprise me,_ ' I thought to myself.

"Turn the light off," Ana mumbled as she was the first to go to bed

I reached over my body and turned the lamp off with my left hand. I slumped in my covers and mentally chuckled to myself. I continued waiting patiently, it was only ten o'clock at night, so anytime now they should be coming.

My smile slowly faded as minutes turned into an hour. That's when I snapped, I turned the light on and stomped out the room. As loud as I could muster my voice I yelled, "AKATSUKI! EVERYONE! YOU'RE ALL ASSHOLES!"

Ana screamed and fell to the floor. I looked back and saw her struggle to get back up, as the covers were tangled around her legs.

"Why are you screaming!?" Ana yelled at me.

"AKATSUKI!" I screamed again, completely ignoring Ana.

A door swung open and Max walked out looking extremely tired and mad. "Which one of you cock suckers is screaming at this hour!?"

I pouted my mouth and glared at her. "Where are the Akatsuki?! Why aren't they coming out?"

"Because they only answer when I scream," Max said.

"Why do you have to be the only one they listen to?" Ana asked as she kicked her bed sheets away. She walked over to join us out in the hall.

"Pfft, cuz they listen to me, that's just how the system is," Max shrugged. "Plus I sound like a military mom, watch. AKATSUKI! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE BEFORE I BURN MONEY, BREAK LIQUOR, AND JOIN ANOTHER RELIGION!"

Suddenly, the house rumbled as nearly everyone (except Sasuke) ran out their rooms and over to where we were standing.

"How dare you strive farther away from Jashinism!" Hidan yelled.

"You better have not touched my Sake!" Kisame warned.

"Why are you making such a ruckus?" Pein asked, casually brushing "dust" of his shoulder.

Max shrugged. "I was just proving a point."

"I don't why _you're_ the leader/one to be listened to," Ana scowled.

"Don't question the system, man." Max placed her hand on Ana's shoulder and sympathetically nodded her head.

"You two can discuss that later!" I yelled, "I was calling everyone out so I could yell at you!"

"And why would you do that?" Kakuzu questioned me.

My lip quivered. "You guys forgot that today was my birthday…"

The Akatsuki slightly tensed up as they came to realization of why I was going to release hell on them.

"What are you talking about?" Max awkwardly chuckled, "we just wanted to give you a night party."

I raised my eyebrow, deep down I knew she was probably lying, but I'm willing to hear how this is going to play out. "Night party? As in wait until I sleep then surprise me?"

"Exactly, so let's just go to the kitchen to celebrate!"

I nodded and headed over to the stairs.

"You forgot didn't you?" Hidan whispered. Max elbowed him in the gut.

"See!" She said as she pulled the box Itachi had earlier out the fridge. "We even got you a cake," Max smiled.

"My cake…" Itachi muttered.

"Yes!" Max stiffened up. "His cake that he and Kisame got for you. Here blow your candles out."

After Max placed ten candles, she lit them up and pushed the cake over to me. Max explained that there weren't enough candles. I closed my eyes and thought long and hard of what I wanted. _'I wish that an animal will be living in the house soon._ ' I _really_ want a piggy.

"Okay on a serious note," I said looking up at the group, "how did you guys forget my birthday? I kept chanting it all week."

"Girl, we don't even remember our birthdays sometimes," Zetsu grumbled.

"And the person who _does_ remind us of birthdays is Max, and she was sick all day," Hidan added.

"Speaking of sick," I looked over at Max. "Why aren't you in bed I thought you were sick all day?"

Max laughed. "Everyone knows, or should know, that I only get sick for about six hours!"

"I just wish you guys would be a little more considerate."

"Tobi is truly sorry!" Tobi bowed down in shame.

"What do you mean," Ana asked as she dipped her finger in the frosting.

I smacked her hand away, "I mean, you all can't go one day of being nice to others, or doing something nice to others."

Pein sighed, "No we can not-"

"-What kind of insult is that?!" Max exclaimed, "we can do something nice."

I snorted, "yeah like what?"

"Just you wait, Linda. All of us will do something for the greater good!"

Deidara sighed and took a seat next to her. "Max you have done many bad things, I doubt you can think of something so soon to help others."

She sighed, "you underestimate me, Deidara honey."

"I have a bad feeling about this…" Sasori muttered.

* * *

 **AN: *Chain smoker voice* Hey there cuties. I got another gift for you….**


	57. Charity

**Max: Did you all miss me, yeah you did.**

 **Ana: Why do you answer your own questions?**

 **Max: I don't know, I just do sometimes.**

 **But that doesn't matter, what matters is that you enjoy this chapter. And the author said that she planned out her chapters far so that should help with moving the plot smoother.**

 **Ana: Well that's good. We don't want anymore shitty-cringe worthy chapters.**

 **AN: Excuse me?**

…

 **AN: *sigh* I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE. Enjoy another chapter. Hopefully this friday I can come out with another chapter, if not then next Tuesday. Just so I can ease back into routine.**

* * *

 **Max**

I pulled my left arm over my body and stretched it out, I repeated it with my other arm.

"I can't believe you're making us do this."

I reached down and began touching my toes. "Well I did warn you guys," I stood up straight and grabbed my ankle to stretch my leg out.

"But it's seven in the morning!" Hidan whined, "couldn't you have proven Linda wrong another time?!"

"Oh come on," I looked over at Hidan and glared at him as if he was a child. "All of you are ninjas, running is the least of your problems!"

"Tobi likes to run!" Tobi giggled as he jumped around.

"See, nothing to worry," I went back to pulling and stretching, trying not to get a cramp is my second priority.

The Akatsuki, Sasuke, Ana, and Linda continued pouting and moping about us running. I entered us into a marathon to raise money for the children's hospital. I did this after Linda said I-or the Akatsuki-couldn't do something nice for others. Guess who's proving her wrong. The Akatsuki continued sighing and mumbling amongst themselves. Tobi was messing around with the sticker that had his number and name.

I adjusted my sweater and leggings as the woman who organized this, said we'd be running any minute. She had that typical soccer mom vibe. I got on one knee and began adjusting the laces to my shoes. A shadow looming over me caused me to stop. I looked up and saw that a man in his mid-twenties with light hair and broad shoulders was squeezing by the crowd. I stretched my head out as he began walking away.

"That ass," I whispered to myself.

"Stop being so perverted," Sasori said as he hit me over the head.

I rubbed the back of my head. "I didn't think you were the jealous type, Sasori?"

Sasori scoffed and looked away, "you wish."

I stood up and laughed, "don't worry you're still my husband."

He rolled his eyes, I reached over and patted his cheek softly. Hidan walked over with a smirk. I slightly jumped when he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

"You know, I kinda take back what I said about you taking us running."

"Why's that?"

"The girls here...well lets say I like leggings now," He snickered.

I elbowed his side and shrugged his arm off me. An old man stood to the front with a athletic gun pointing up. "Let the angels run!" and the shot fired. Everyone began walking, which turned into a light jog, my kind of running.

"This is child's play," Pein said as he jogged diagonal to me.

I nodded, "I told you, nothing to worry about."

"Worry," Ana said in the back with her hand raised. "How long is this going to take?"

"It should only take about… half an hour-maybe a full hour."

"Are you serious?!"

I nodded, "I don't know why you're complaining, you are fully capable of running long distances."

Ana grumbled, "I still don't like it."

"Why's that?" Itachi asked us.

"As kid she was forced to participate in running and marathons. Let's just say Susan had some problems in early mom years," I stated truthfully, which caused me to get a glare from Ana.

"Where exactly is the children's hospital?" Konan spoke up, trying to change the topic.

"It's on the outside of downtown, it's just a big section of the hospital." I also explained to the Akatsuki how we had the best medical practices in the country.

The place we were running at was a sidewalk trail that wrapped around a big man-made lake. The distances is about four miles long. Should take the big group about forty minutes, but there's no rush so who knows.

"Can I ask you a question?"

I looked over to my left to see Sasuke jogging beside me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Is there another reason why you're making us run in a charity race?" Sasuke questions anything nice I do, which I don't blame him.

I sighed in confession, "you got me…" I smiled and looked back up at him. "At the sign up table did you see Detective Jade?"

"Yeah?" He raised his brow not understanding where I was heading with this.

"Well, I found out that she was volunteering as a security here. So what perfect chance to show her that little lie I told."

"The one about us being good?" Sasuke asked.

I nodded, "exactly."

He nodded, slightly impressed of my plan. "I guess you do think ahead?"

"Of course, honey! Oh sorry, Sasori gets jealous if I call someone else honey. OW!" I turned around, rubbing my head, and looked over at Sasori. "Why did you hit me?"

"I can hear you, you know?" He scowled.

After five minutes I noticed a little stand with children sitting behind. There were two of them, and they were giving water out. "Hm?" I guess I can go for a water. I turned around to the other members. "You guys want water or later?"

Linda pushed through and clinged onto me. "For the love of whatever god we've mentioned! Please stop for water!"

"Okay! You and I can stop," I said, trying hard to get Linda off me. I had to personally unwrap her fingers from my sweater.

Taking Linda by the hand I lead the two of us carely over the left side. "Hey, kid," I greeted the kids as we got to the table.

"Hi ma'am!" The boy chirped, "would you like some water?"

"YES!" Linda exclaimed. She snatched the water and downed it. But because this is Linda and she's downing her water, she began choking (big surprise). "Keep it real kids," She tossed a quarter to them and threw the cup in the trash. I drank mine and tossed it in the bin.

"You scared or what?"

I pulled Linda and I to the Akatsuki. "What's going on?"

"He's at it again," Kakuzu grumbled, referring to Deidara.

"Deidara, there will never be a time where I will fear you," Itachi said truthfully.

"That's a burn son," Zetsu laughed.

Deidara's face redden in anger, "well then, race me!"

Itachi let a sigh out as Deidara was acting quite childish. "If I race you, will you stop bothering me?"

Deidara nodded his head rapidly like a two year old. "Okay!"

"That's a splendid idea," an older man said.

"Who are you?" Pein asked, looking up and down at him.

"I'm Fred, but that doesn't matter, if you two race than we'll get a bigger amount of money for having more than one person finish early." Fred explained.

"What do you mean?" this time Konan asked.

"Well if the time to finish is short, than we earn more money. But we don't want to rush too much because we have to be considerate of older people like me."

I turned around to see a lot of elders near the back. I shrugged and looked over at Itachi and Deidara, "are you two okay with this?"

They shrugged, "sure."

Itachi and Deidara quicken their speed to the front of the line so once they reached a specific mark, they can go off.

"I have my money on, Uchiha," Kakuzu began.

"I don't know, Deidara might bomb him," Hidan said, considering the option.

"That is why neither of you will use your chakra, you'll just be using your energy to run," Pein stated firmly. "Plus we don't want to attract attention."

"I think that's a good idea, Leader," Kisame laughed, but trailed off once Pein glared at him.

Itachi and Deidara glanced at each other just as they were ready to race. Pein raised his hand up high, I stared as we came to a small tree.

"GO!" Fred exclaimed.

Itachi and Deidara ran, it was interesting to see them go at a normal human speed, instead of zipping through the area. Well, I think once the rest of us are finished, we'll see who won.

* * *

I continued patting Deidara's shoulder, "It's okay buddy."

"I WAS SO CLOSE!"

I backed away realizing that I shouldn't get close to Deidara as he's throwing a fit. I made my way so I'd be walking alongside Itachi.

"Hey, Itachi," I called as I looked up at him, "couldn't you just have let Deidara won?"

Itachi let out a soft sigh, "I did consider letting him win, but I realized that I'd never hear the end of it if I lost."

"I guess I understand."

Ana and Linda walked over to the both of us with annoyed or angry faces.

"We are never going running!" Linda snapped.

"Well at least you prove that you can do something nice for others, but you end up tiring others," Ana said, she walked around us and left with Linda.

Hidan and Kisame laughed as they walked towards us.

"What are on your arms?" I asked reaching and lifting up both their forearms.

"We got numbers," the two snickered.

Itachi rolled his eyes, "we can talk about this later, for now let's go home…" Itachi trailed off realizing his mistake.

"Home...Hide!" I cried out. "He WAS SO YOUNG!"

"Knock it off!" Hidan yelled hitting me on the head.

"Let's go, we have business to attend to in the afternoon," Pein called out to us.

' _That's right_ ," I thought to myself. We were going back to the courthouse to see about the divorces and its process. I'm curious about Itachi and Deidara's. I wonder who ripped their paper?"

* * *

 _ **After Hours…**_

"THIS NEVER HAPPEND!" Max exclaimed.

"Agree," Sasuke nodded his head.

"We shall never speak of what happen do you understand?" Max looked over at Sasuke and nodded, she continued wiping her mouth.

* * *

 **AN: I'm not sure I'll post Friday, but who knows.**

 **Catch ya later!**


	58. Halloween Candy

**Linda: Sup, (sips hot chocolate) I see you came for more…that's nice.**

 **Max: Why are you talking like that?**

 **Linda: Because something freaky/dramatic happens when I address the public like this.**

 **Max: No you…do you?**

 **Linda: (nods)**

 **Ana: Awwwwww, come on! I was hoping something normal and totally not uncomfortable was going to happen this chapter.**

 **Max: (snorts) As if. Remember, our friends are the Akatsuki. So good luck on that, Ana.**

 **Linda: (sips Loudly) Well, we should get started.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **You should hear the song,** _ **Halloween Candy**_ **by Oliver [Vocaloid].**

* * *

 **Ana**

I slowly drizzle oil on the pan to begin making the next egg. I completely ignored Max, who was in the living room putting the finishing touches of the Halloween decorations. There were fake spider webs, some black and white spiders. Thanks to Deidara's non-explosive clay. A skeleton on the front door with a scarf, and a pumpkin with a black top hat and a drawn mustache. Which yours truly suggested.

"Phew!" Max exclaimed loudly, "it's finally perfect," she smiled.

"What's with the lipstick?" I half-heartedly asked, as I flipped the egg on the other side.

"Well I do love Halloween," she smiled. Black pants, red boots, white sweatshirt with a black cat. And dark lipstick.

"Hm," I nodded. I grabbed another plate before raising the egg off the pan. "Max, start getting everyone down for breakfast. I already have the waffles and hot chocolate set, and I just have one egg left to make." I ordered.

Max nodded and skipped up the stairs yelling that there was hot chocolate and she'd drink all of it, if no one came out on time. She skipped back down and plopped a seat at the counter.

"Done," she reported.

I placed the last egg on the plate and began taking the smaller plates to the dining room with Max. The Akatsuki slowly began filling in on their usual seats.

"Oh, Pein won't be coming down, he has to finish a jutsu," Konan said giving me the heads up.

"Wait…Pein won't be coming down?" Max asked, poking her head into the dining room.

"Um…no."

At a blink of an eye she ran towards the end of the table tackling the seat Pein usually sat in. Struggling, Max got up taking a seat.

"Look at me," she addressed all of us, "I am the captain now."

I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. I place a waffle, eggs and hot chocolate in front of Max.

"Can you get me the whipped cream?" She smiled looking up at me with one of her "innocent" faces.

"Let me just give Konan, Pein's food," I called out as I walked back in the kitchen. I placed Pein's food on a tray and handed it to Konan.

"He should be down for dinner," Konan said walking up the stairs.

I nodded and snatched the whip cream for Max.

"Lord Max," Max repeated.

Hidan grunted and rubbed his temples. "Lord Max…what do you have planned today since this is one of your favorite holidays?" I took my seat handing Max the can. She grabbed it and sprayed a mountain load on her waffles and hot chocolate.

She sighed, "Nothing."

Tobi laughed, "that's funny, but seriously what are we doing."

"I was serious."

We all stared in confusion at Max.

"Um…ok, but honestly. What are you planning, so we can prepare, not only our pride, but ourselves?" Deidara asked.

"I already said that I have nothing planned," Max repeated, taking a piece of egg.

Linda jumped from her seat, "Who are you, and what have you done with Max!?"

Kisame gasped, "I bet it's that Orochimaru guy!"

I stared wide eyed at Max. She smirked and licked her lips. I shuddered feeling uncomfortable.

"I'm not Orochimaru, I was just fucking with you guys!" Max laughed, "of course we'll be doing something!"

Zetsu sighed, "will Pein let you?" " **Like that'll stop her…** "

"Well," I said changing the topic, "why don't we do a nice good old storytelling?"

Tobi shot his hand up waving it around. "Oh! Can Tobi go?"

Max rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Just don't ship me and Hidan again."

"But it's cute," Tobi giggled. "I mean if you really observe them-"

"Can you get on with it?" Itachi rushed.

"Right," Tobi nodded his head…

" _...The boy's screams bounced against the newly blood coated wall. The looming man shot his hand into the boy's open stomach, grabbing a burning candle and blistering the child."_

All our jaws hanged in disgust as Tobi continued telling his horrendous story. My mouth soundlessly moved as I tried saying something.

Deidara spoke up first, "um, why?"

Tobi cocked his head in confusion. "Why, what?"

"The story!" I yelled, "how did you come up with something so graphic and disgusting?!"

"I was eating breakfast, man!" Linda whined.

"At least I wasn't shipped," Hidan muttered into his cup. Tobi shrugged.

I pushed my plate back and looked over at Max who stared into her cup. "So?" I asked, "when are you asking Pein for permission?"

"I think after breakfast, after a cup of nice hot chocolate. I'll get what I want."

* * *

"BUT PEIN!"

"No," Pein said raising his voice, "I already told you girls that I will not have my members acting like complete weirdos."

"Acting?" I sarcastically mumbled. Pein glared at me, I shrunk, "okay, shit. I didn't say anything."

"I'm willing to negotiate," Max continued.

"Do you ever take no for an answer?"

"No," Konan answered Pein. Which he glared at her for.

"All I want is a little team to go trick or treating with me," Max begged.

Linda laughed, "you're fifteen and you're still going out to trick or treat!"

Max looked back to glare at Linda. "You're still thirteen and you can't grow-"

"Alright!" I interfered, "why don't you just show us who you want on your team."

"Follow me!" Max swung the door open and headed towards the living room. Pein and Konan glanced at each other before following. I went with Linda to see who was on her "team."

"Akatsuki, we're having a quick meeting!" Max announced.

"Then why aren't we in the library?" Kisame asked.

"Because it's quick."

"Oh."

Max clasped her hands together and smirk at us. "I'll need a team to help collect the most candy tonight. Ana, Linda, Itachi, Sasori, and Sasuke. I believe that you five can help me."

Deidara raised an eyebrow, "I understand Itachi. But Sasori and Sasuke?"

"Well, Sasori has that young look that can be hard to read in the dark. As for Sasuke," Max smirked harder, "well, trust me, he'll be useful."

Kisame stood up. "I don't think you all should go alone. You need an adult."

Max groaned, "Kisame don't be the mom of the group!"

"Kisame, I'm 21 years old," Itachi said. "Quit babying me."

Kisame pinched Itachi's cheek. "I remember when you first joined the Akatsuki."

I blinked and saw Kisame on the floor spazzing with Itachi glaring down at him. I put my hand over my eyes and looked over at Itachi. "Mangekyou?"

"Yup."

I nodded my head and carefully walked away without bumping into anything.

"So is everyone ready..?" Max trailed off, "right, we need costumes. Well, Itachi can be an Itachi cosplayer, same goes for Kisame, Sasori and Sasuke. Um-" Max scanned the room looking for something to use. "Hidan hand me you're headband."

"Why?" Hidan asked suspiciously. Last time he gave something to Max she threw it at the window.

"Just give me the headband, it's not like you like your village."

Hidan grumbled something under his breath and handed Max the headband. She took it and loosely wrapped it around her neck.

"What are you doing?" I asked as Max pulled a sharpie out and began drawing on my face. I looked down at the reflection of the headband. "Really?" I question staring unamusingly at the whiskers and a black triangle on my nose.

"You're a cat now!"

"Can I be a cat?"

"Choose something else!" I called back to Linda.

Linda crosses her arms and pouts. Her face quickly brightened up as an idea comes to mind. She races over to the hallway heading over to the laundry room. Linda emerged back with a white apron, she opened the door to the fridge. She began spreading strawberry syrup to represent blood.

"I just washed that," I mumbled.

"I will be a crazy chef killer!" Linda exclaimed happily.

Max laughed, "alright! Let's get going team! Plus, Kisame the mom of the group…"

"Hey!"

* * *

"Trick or Treat!"

"My what cute little children!" An older woman said with a toothy grin.

I continued watching other kids get candy as Linda and I sat on a nearby bench. "What's taking so long?" I asked referring to Max.

"Sup!"

I jumped getting startled. I looked up at Max, I opened my mouth but Max beat me.

"Don't worry we only have four houses left. We're about to go to the one on the top of the hill."

 _Gasp!_

I turned around to see who gasped. Three kids stopped walking and stared at us.

"You can't go up there!" One of them yells.

"Why not?" Itachi frowned.

"Because no one is able to make it through all the obstacles that Old Man Frank has!" A kid in a blue hoody panics, " _if_ you can go through all of them, man, you get a boat load of candy!"

"But like we've been saying-" the third one pipes in, "no one has passed all of them!"

I looked to see Max is already smirking. "Well, I guess Old Man Frank hasn't met me and my partner," she said looking up at Itachi.

The kids walked away muttering a good luck. "So are you and Itachi going now?" I asked.

"Yes, but I want to do something first. Oh, Sasuke!" Max sing.

Sasuke turned around, scowling at her. "What!" He snapped.

"It's time for you to do your part," Max smirked. She took Sasuke by the hand and yanked him to a bench where she pushed him down. She adjusted some things here and there.

"There," Max smiled, "just one last thing." Max grabbed onto Sasuke's zipper, pulling it down showing his chest.

"WHAT ARE-"

"Step right up ladies and feel such sexy man for a small amount of candy!" Max yelled through her cupped hands.

"Are you suggesting that I put my body out for candy!?" Sasuke yelled flicking Max on the forehead.

"Yes," she said while rubbing her head. A girl slowly walked up staring at the two.

Max smiled, "mm? Two fun size snickers."

The girl looked through her bag pulling the price that Max wanted. Sasuke stiffly sat with his lips parted as it was hard to wrap around what Max was making him do. The girl slowly raised her arm, leaning her finger forward. A silence swept as her fingertips touched his chest. I watched as her face quickly reddened and she shrieked running away.

"So little-for so much," Max amusingly smiled as she stared at the two pieces of candy. She opened the pillowcase and dropped them with the rest of the cavities.

"Is that the reason you wanted Sasuke?" I asked.

She smiled and nodded making her way to the back of the bench. Max wrapped her arms around Sasuke's neck while simultaneously keeping him down. "I don't know why you're acting so self conscious. You've worn stripper close before," she stated pulling the fabric back, exposing more skin.

Sasuke opened his mouth to retort-when suddenly a swarm of females surrounded them, all throwing candy and themselves at the two. I watch a little longer before pushing through the crowd.

"Get me an anonymous feel," I said holding a King size Kit-Kat bar.

Max's eyes widen. "Now you are speaking my language!" She crouched down pulling me with her. We pushed through some legs before Max stopped. "All you have to do is reach your hand out and touch. Meanwhile, Itachi and I will be leaving for the house, also I don't want to be here when Sasuke breaks through."

She lifted her hand in a salute and back away. I gulped extending my hand out. The build up was too much as my palm was looking for what I wanted. My eyes widen as I suddenly felt something warm, I slid my hand down the soft skin.

Blood gushed out my nose and I fell back fainting.

I sniffed and lightly dabbed my nose with a tissue as I walked with Sasori and Linda on the outskirts of the neighborhood. It was a plain land that was covered in dead corn leaves and other plants.

"Just how long do they plan on taking?" Sasori groan impatiently.

Linda sighed, "I don't know."

We continued walking in silence. At this point Sasori walked away saying that he was going to check something out, which I'm assuming is going to kill someone into a puppet. A white van slowly came to a stop behind Linda and I. I really didn't think much of it and continued walking.

"You wanna trade in Max's room, or have her come to our room?" I looked over at Linda.

"To our room," Linda suggested, "so we don't have to worry about any else taking our candy."

I nodded, "that's smart."

"Excuse me," a hush raspy voice called. I turned around to see a man holding a pamphlet. "I'm lost, could you help me? I have a map but I don't know where I am."

I snorted and answered before stopping myself, "same."

"Are you lost?" The man smiled.

Do...do you see how suspicious and uncomfortable this looks? There is a white van parked, a grown man in a trench coat with a thick mustache.

I frowned and reached down for Linda's hand, which she surprisingly didn't pull back. "My apologies, but we must get going," I said backing away.

"Wait!" he said walking towards us, "it won't take long."

I looked around, _Where the hell is Sasori?_ "Look, I think…it's getting late. Why don't you ask a police officer?"

His speed increase, "you and I both know that's impossible," he said, his voice dangerously low.

My eyes widen and I quickly backed away, which was difficult as I kept tripping over Linda.

"Now- hold on you two!" He yelled reaching his arm out. I gasped and squeezed my eyes shut, my body shutting down.

…there was a small thud, causing me to opened my eyes.

"Kisame!" I said feeling happy and relief.

"What?"

"You're here!" Linda said in a grateful tone.

"Okay? Anyways, Max and Itachi easily got through the obstacles and got the giant candy bag. Which Max asked if Itachi and Pein could look through it with their Sharingan and Rinnegan. Making sure that there isn't any hidden razors." Kisame continued talking, completely oblivious to what he was standing on.

"Kisame!" Linda finally snapped.

Kisame looked down. "Oh my bad!" He said helping the man up, "didn't see you there, man"

The mustache-trench coat man smoothed the hair around his bald head.

"Kisame!" This time I screamed. "He's a pedophile!"

Kisame looked back to see the man holding a gun. In a swift movement Kisame knocked the weapon out of his hand and kicked him! Sending him flying through the windshield of the van.

"What happened here?"

I looked over to see Sasori walking towards the us.

"Now you show up!" I said throwing my hands up in the air. Sasori frowned but walked away without a care, like usual.

We headed back to the bench that we all met up by. I saw Itachi and Max gazing at a giant bag. Sasuke was sitting looking unamused.

"All done!" Max said happily.

"That's good," I sighed.

"It's funny," she continued, "we're suppose to eat one candy per day and it'll last us more than two years. But knowing all of us and the other Akatsuki- _cough Itachi_ -we'll eat it all in two months."

The seven of us started heading back to the Volkswagen. I reached in my bag taking a small chocolate. I looked up at Kisame as it was smacked out my hand!

"What the hell!?"

"After what happened, and you still want to put me on edge!" Kisame snapped.

Max groaned, "are you really acting like the mom of the group?" She questioned, "what got in your underwear? Stranger danger!?"

I internally groaned. If only you knew.


	59. Tips On Living With Pein

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **I just got back from getting my schedule and I only have study hall second tri… shm. How am I going to work then?**

 **Oh well, enjoy your summer while it last. And I wish you a good year of nice grades for those who are already at school.**

* * *

 **Linda**

Hi I'm Linda. But you might know me as...Linda. Because if you're this far then you should know who I am by now. Unless your friend is showing you the middle of a fanfiction story...then this is awkward for the both of us…. Anyways, I've lived with the Akatsuki for a while now and obviously each member has their own personality. So if one day if you have to deal with one of them, here are some tips on living with some of them. Today I'll be talking about the infamous leader, who started it all. Pein.

 **Tip Number 1: Threats are threats for a reason.**

When Pein threatens you to do something-or to stop doing something, he means business. He isn't afraid of murdering you, or give you a near death experience. I mean, it's in his name!

Here are some things that he usually starts his threats with.

 _If you don't…_

 _If you don't (stop)..._

 _If you don't (start)_

 _Keep doing that and I'll…_

 _If you do…_

 _I will…_

 _I will (personally)..._

Man, Pein sounds like a strict parent that always wants you to do stuff. Hm?

But let's continue!

 **Tip Number 2: Don't ask, don't speak.**

If you ever think about questing Pein, just know the following will probably happen. He'll completely ignore you and continued doing what he was previously doing, or telling you what to do. Another thing is glaring at you. Works like a charm.

Speaking, unless he's speaking, Pein is okay with all of us talking. But trust me, if you can avoid interrupting him, then do.

 **Tip Number 3: Food**.

C'mon, every Akatsuki member eats. Except Sasori, he doesn't.

Hot chocolate is what Pein has been obsessing over. We're talking three cups a day. I wouldn't be shock if he suddenly gets sick for consuming too much sweets. Which makes me question Itachi's candy problem.

Another thing is that you always must serve Pein as if he's royalty. It could be something simple as a grilled cheese sandwich, but you need silverware beside his plate. And like two cups or something! With one of those fancy napkins at restaurants.

 **Tip Number 4: You're going to die...**

Okay not really, but you might want to watch your mouth until you figure out what mood Pein is in. Usually he's moody and rude, but be careful, good mood is making others suffer…

So you never win with Pein… awkward….

Well thank you for joining me again! Bye, bye!

PS. Pein really needs girlfriend. - _cough, Konan, cough_ -


	60. Wood to Skin, Plus Fur

**Max: Talk about dick tales, Whoo~**

 **Ana: What is wrong with you?**

 **Max: I need Tums! I've got heartburn!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Man, that title sounds a little perverted.**

 **Thank you, Badwolf432, Akatsuki74 and nuage. buio** **(I know there isn't a space but it was the only way the file would let me get your name in) for favoriting/following the story. And thank you for the review! Even if it was a little hard to understand… But hey, at least I know that you're thinking about the story.**

* * *

 **Max**

"15, 15-15! What about 20? Can I get a 20? 20? Going once, twice...sold, 15! To the youngsters in leather jackets!"

"Yes!" I cheered, secretly throwing my fist out in celebration.

"Nice job," Sasori congratulated looking a little surprised.

I nodded and lead us to the old man beside the rocking chair. Sasori and I were in an auction looking for something to entertain us. That's when I saw the rocking chair that seemed in good quality. It just needed to be repainted and smoothed out a little, and it should be perfect! My idea was to use it as a reading chair, kick back and relax, you know?

"15 dollars, ma'am."

I reached into my jacket and handed him a crumpled up ten and five. He walked away leaving me to examine the treasure. It had sewed on cushions.

"C'mon, let's get this in the van," I called back to Sasori.

We placed the chair on the front porch. I looked over at Sasori, "So? Do you want to help me?"

He shrugged, "I've got nothing better to do," he said walking inside for his wood tools, and the paint we bought at Menards. Sasori soon returned with a pouch, some brushes, and the dark brown paint. He zipped the bag open showing the sandpaper and carving tools and tiny brushes he had. And in the process he changed out the clothes I gave him, and went back into his Akatsuki cloak.

"Wow, you sure are prepared," I examined one of the carving tools. It was bent to get hard to reach places. Sasori grabbed a thick scrap of wood and wrapped a sand paper around it. He began smoothing the armrest, I grabbed one and did the same thing he did and began rubbing the other armrest.

"Someone made it with wood they chopped down," Sasori noted taking a good look at the chair.

"Man, how old do you think it is?" I looked up from sanding.

"Around ten years."

I released a slow whistle, "they must have really taken care of the chair."

Sasori shrugged, "they probably sold it to make a little side money." That made me smile. Side money, something we don't have to do...yet.

We continued working in silence, which was kinda nice. The weather was cold with the sun out. But I don't care, I like the cold much better than the heat. I'm not much of a summer person despice my birth month.

"You don't talk much do you?" I said.

Sasori sighed and looked up, "and you have something interesting to talk about?"

I glowered at him, "fine be like that."

Sasori rolled his eyes and continued working on his side.

"What are you two doing?" Hidan asked walking out with a breakfast burrito that Ana had made earlier today.

"We're fixing up an old rocking chair."

"Why?"

"Because I want a place to read…"

"Nerd," Hidan snorted and walked back into the house.

"I'm not a nerd…" I mumbled standing up. In fact he's the nerd, he reads more than I do, in that stupid Jashin book.

Sasori ordered me to begin the top of the chair as he'd quickly do the bottom, and soon meet me up there.

"Oh Hidan was right," I looked over to see Ana, Deidara, and Itachi standing outside the doorway.

"What do you three want?" Sasori glared.

"We got curious," Deidara chuckled, his expression suddenly changed and snapped his head over to Itachi. "They hang out together! You make the worst husband ever!"

Itachi uncaringly looked over at Deidara, "you'd make the worst one out of the two."

"Nuh-uh."

"Okay, then," Itachi said fully turning to face the blond, "when is my birthday?"

Deidara remained quiet, "um…," He turned his head a little trying to think of something. "June… ?"

Itachi nodded, "what day?"

"Uhhh," Deidara stared at Itachi, "the eigh-"

"-Ninth," Ana.

"Ninth, of June," Deidara smiled proudly.

"Okay, you definitely are a good husband," sarcasm slipped, "because that incident definitely wasn't your fault."

…... Deidara jumped over the railing and began running like his life depended on it.

"What?" Itachi asked, "I was just mentioning when he moved my bag of candy-after I told him not to-so when Tobi came down he tripped hitting the counter, causing a knife to stab Hidan making him bleed on the floor that I had just finished mopping."

I watched as Ana sighed in relief. I don't know why. "Right," I said.

"I'm gonna go finished cleaning upstairs," Ana called out walking into the house.

I reached over and grabbed the painting so I could start adding color and have it dry before the sun went down.

"So Itachi have you...where did he go?" I looked around to see Itachi had already left.

"Max," Sasori called, "start painting, I'm gonna carve something if you don't mind."

I shook my head, "go ahead, I'll wait if I reach you."

"Doubt it."

I rolled my eyes and began spreading paint on the armrest. It took me about 15-20 minutes to reach Sasori.

"Are you done-Holy Shit!" I exclaimed. I put the paint down and kneeled beside Sasori, "you free styled this?!"

Sasori nodded, "yeah and?"

"Well gee it makes my art look like chump. It's so beautiful," I looked over at Sasori, "really beautiful…" I trailed off.

Sasori stared at me before looking back at the chair, "you don't think I just sit at my desk for nothing?"

I handed the paint to Sasori so he could be the one to finish. I got up and stretched my body out, my shirt lifting a bit. _Man, I got money to pay for a rocking chair…_ I snapped out my thought.

"Sasori we need to go somewhere!" I ran back inside and grabbed the keys to the Volkswagen that were hanging on a hook behind the naked coat rack.

"Where are we going?" Sasori called out as I ran towards the car.

"What I should've done long ago!"

* * *

 **Ana**

Taking on the whole second floor was very tiring. My left shoulder hurts as it's my wiping and vacuuming arm. To make matters worse Deidara and Zetsu were annoying me as they were playing _Need For Speed._

"Could you possibly be any louder?" I hissed to Goldilocks.

"Sure," he replied turning the volume up. I glared at him-but not for long as Itachi walked down the stairs and headed towards us.

"Why do you have the volume at 52?" Itachi irritably asked.

"Well Ana told me so ask her, Uchiha," Deidara replied uncaringly.

Itachi glanced at me. "I was just being sarcastic with him," I said looking up from my magazine. He shook his head and went to the library for some peace, and to get away from Deidara, which I don't blame him.

"Hey, Deidara?" I asked tossing the article on the coffee table.

"What?" He was swinging the controller, thinking that it might help his driving.

"Today-why have you been acting gay towards Itachi?"

Deidara nearly swerved off, he paused the game and looked over mortified-causing me to smile a bit. "EXCUSE ME!" I remained quiet. "But I will never! Never! Never ever, come close to liking Itachi, or even acknowledging him-okay that last one was a lie," Deidara muttered. He sat still for a moment before speaking again, "I lost my train of thought, what were we talking about?"

I rolled my eyes and got up from the couch. "Wait, that doesn't explain about earlier?"

He chuckled, "I was just messing with him, which I wonder why he hasn't tried to kill me?" He noticed and began looking around.

"Itachi was talking about another incident, you're still in the clear," I informed the blonde.

"What incident?" Zetsu asked.

Deidara jumped, "I forgot you were still here."

" **It happens all the time when you hang around a pussy,** " Black Zetsu stated.

I answered with, "I thought he was Cocksucker?"

" **That too.** " I nodded. " **Are you going to answer?** "

"How rude," White Zetsu.

" **Shut it, cocksucker!"**

I shooed the two off, "don't worry about it, he just did something that would really anger Itachi if he ever found out." I put my hands behind my head and walked back towards the couch.

" **You must have been on it too if you're covering for Deidara?** " Zetsu subtly added-or tried.

I stopped walking and squinted a glare down at Deidara. "I still hate you," we both simultaneously said. Throwing myself back on the couch I picked up a different magazine, surprisingly it wasn't a cooking type.

Thirty seconds haven't even passed before the peace was sadly disrupted. The front door was kicked open (which scared the hell out of me) and a pair of feet blindly walked in holding a big bag and a small cushion. They dropped it and I soon recognized the red hair.

"What's with-"

"Ask her!" Sasori angrily cut Deidara off before stomping away. A couple seconds later Max emerged-cooing at her hands.

I jumped up, "you got a cat?!" I yelled.

She shushed me, "don't yell!" Max quietly hissed, "he's sleeping."

Itachi poked his head into the living room, "what is it this time?"

"She got a cat," I answered.

Itachi closed his eyes and took a deep breath before reopening them. "Max, why did you get a cat?"

"I had the money and I've waited for so long. But, isn't he the cutest," she said walking towards the Uchiha.

"Yes, he's adorable and innocent-" Itachi stroked the cat, "but you should have told us before hand."

"Why are you all yelling? KITTY!" Tobi screamed.

We all shushed. Once I noticed what I was doing I stopped.

"So when do you plan on telling Pein?" Tobi asked stroking the small animal.

"Soon I hope," Max muttered.

"Good cuz he's coming down the stairs now!"

"What!"

Soon enough Pein came into view-but of course with Konan. Tobi had screamed for the other members even after Max told him to shut up and to stop with the yelling.

"Why does she get a cat and I can't get a pig?!" Linda asked Pein, with a slight whine to her voice.

"Because I'm responsible to take care of a living thing and all it's needs-Stop Laughing Hidan!" Max glared over at the Jashinist.

Kakuzu raised his hand, "just so we're, clear it was your money, correct?"

She nodded.

"I have a cat as a roommate," Sasuke grumbled.

"I thought you liked cats, Suskey?" Max pouted at the younger Uchiha.

Sasuke grunted, "I do-just make sure he stays on your side got it!"

Max clapped (or tried), "I'm glad that you all are some what okay with this."

"So what's the little fellers name?" Deidara asked as he gently scratched the bridge of the cat's nose. The gray (minus the stomach, it was bright white) cat had woken up around the time that Kisame was voicing his "licensed Vet" advice. To which Itachi hit his blue friend in the head for.

"He's named from one of my top favorite characters."

Linda opened her mouth-

"No one from Naruto!" she closed it, "his name is Juuzou, like from Tokyo Ghoul," Max gently smiled.

"But I thought that character had white hair?" White Zetsu asked.

"He does."

Pein frowned, "then why did you name him that?"

Max "threw her hands" in the air, "I just wanted my first cat to be Juuzou, can I not name my first cat?" The cat suddenly let a meow out.

"Oh Juuzou woke up?" Sasori said walking over to Max. He slightly leaned to to make eye contact with the animal. "The milk for first month kittens is in the smaller bag."

"Oh yeah, it was nice for that lady to give me a book on kitten care-your first one," Max dramatically recited.

I frowned as I watched the two look down at the small living thing in Max's hands. There was something off about this picture, they seem relatively close? I looked over once Sasuke poked my shoulder.

"Is it me, or do they actually look like a married couple with their first child?" Sasuke asked as he uncomfortably watched the two.

My eyes widen, "that's what that is!"

* * *

 **I DID IT! You don't know why I'm happy so I'll tell you now! I added two slow chapters into one, because it seemed boring. But the rest of the chapters are actually good! For the second part at least-spoiler. BUT WHATEVER HAPPENS! EVEN IF I LOSE INSPIRATION I'LL ALWAYS GET IT BACK! Because I truly hate (and it straight up pisses me off) when authors leave stories unfinished. So don't even think I'd do that, some chapters may take longer than others, and that's okay, I'm human too.**

 **Last note...I finally introduced a new "character." Everyone say a big welcome to;**

 **Juuzou the Cat**

 **(yes that's his full name)**


	61. Turning Tables

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **The internet broke with the "iPhone" situation. And I'm over here like, "hey, you like the Akatsuki…? You like stories…? I might have something for you."**

 **Self promoting at its finest, my friends.**

 ***I'm sick at home, that's why it's posted at this hour.***

* * *

 **Linda**

Today was most likely our last day that we could stay outside for a long period of time. This week the weather was to start dropping down to 40's and 30's. So for the last day (sixty degrees), I made lemonade for the entire Akatsuki and put lawn chairs out. Entertainment? Watching Max fix the Volkswagen while teaching a thing or two, to Hidan (who couldn't care less).

Sipping on the lemonade through a straw, I very gently played a game of footsies with Juuzou as he was jumping around on the leafs and the others legs. Although I have to be careful with my tights so he doesn't ruin them, and my loose skirt.

"What _do_ you even write in there?" Deidara asked taking a peek over Ana's shoulder.

"Things," Ana stated, closing the yellow hardcover–non spiral notebook. I gave it to her about one or two years ago. She never used it since she didn't have a purpose for it. But now she suddenly does?

"I'm guessing shipping material?" I bit and grind my teeth on the edge of the straw.

Ana stood up, "I'm going in the kitchen to see what kind of food I have, to work with."

Deidara and I watched as Ana walked to the house. He took the empty seat next to me and grumbled. "Now I'm really curious," he murmured.

"I told you it was most likely shipping material."

"Yeah but do you actually–100%–know what's inside," Deidara side glanced at me.

"No…," I trailed off. Ana hasn't let me seen what she has in there. Every time I asked she'd brush it off or told me to go somewhere else.

Deidara sighed, "I think we have to do the obvious and team up to see what is in the journal."

"You're that curious?" I asked in surprise.

He shrugged, "nothing else to do."

I looked over at Juuzou. He had stopped digging his claw in my leg and began purring on my other. "Okay, I'm in," I shrugged.

* * *

Deidara silently stared up the wall, examining the window in which the my room was located. We've been standing outside for the past five minutes without saying anything.

"Alright," Deidara finally spoke up, "I'll climb up and see where she keeps the journal so we can grab it later."

"You can't go up!"

He frowned at me, "Why not!?"

I pointed above his head, "your hair will make it obvious. I think I should go up."

Deidara subconsciously touched the top of his hair. "Well I'll have you know that I'll be using chakra–Ha!"

"So just lift me up, Mr. Chakra man!"

Near the end of our argument we both decided that Deidara would piggy back me up the wall and close to the window. But we have to be quick and sneaky, make sure Ana doesn't see us. Deidara's right hand spat out a long string of clay and attached itself on the roof. Almost like Spiderman. He crouched down to help me get on. I stare awkwardly at him for a couple seconds before I got on.

Carefully, I brought my face up to the window and peeked in. Unfortunately the blinds were closed.

"See anything?" Deidara tried keeping his balance.

"I'm not that heavy…" I muttered feeling self-conscious.

"What?"

"Nothing. Um, the curtains are closed so I can't really see– Oh crap the door is opening!" I ducked down so I wouldn't be seen.

"Hey, careful with the string!" Deidara and I gasped as we watch the clay snap in half. Making us free fall 14ft off the ground. The impact hurt more my left side then my right. "Do you think they heard us?" Deidara mumbled in pain.

My head snapped over to him as I remember something. "DEIDARA!" I screamed and ran jumping on him, grabbing by the collar of his cloak. "YOU PIECE OF CRAP! YOU NEVER GAVE ME MY PIG!"

He sat up with ease. "Are you kidding me! You're still on about that?!" Deidara grabbed the inside of my right elbow and pulled it away from him, while grabbing that back of my left hand away from his neck. "It was a stupid fucking toy! It's been months, What the fuck!...What's up with your face?" He raised his eyebrow. I felt my face flush and my hands tremble a bit.

"Little Guppy!" Kisame's voice came around the corner of the house. He stopped and stared at the position Deidara and I were in. A dark chakra aura began flowing out of him. "Deidara…"

Deidara pushed me off him and began running for his life. Kisame ran past me with his sword up yelling. It took a couple seconds of shock before I got up. I dizzly made my way back to the front of the house (not even remembering there was a back door), and walked in. Sasuke, Itachi, Pein, and Kakuzu were sitting on the couch. Hidan was standing with his hands on his hips glaring at the kitchen. He looked towards my direction and stomped over.

"You!" He yelled, "do something about you're damn sister! She's making vegetables!" Hidan demanded in disgust.

"I told you no matter how much you whined I'm still going to serve you!" Ana called from the stove.

Hidan clicked his tongue and glared back over at me. He frowned and peered down at my face. "What's up with you?" He leaned back looking weired out, "why are you blushing?"

I touched my cheek, "huh?"

"Linda!" Ana called out. I jumped and looked over in slight feer. "Here. Now." she raised her voice.

I dragged my legs making my way towards her. "What do you want?" I whispered.

"Who did it this time?" she sighed.

I averted my eyes and muttered, "Deidara…."

Ana made a face and grabbed my left arm pulling down the sleeve, exposing my light pink hand. She lead me to the sink and sprayed it with cold water.

"Stay there for a couple seconds." I awkwardly chuckled.

After cooling off, I shut off the water and drying my hands. I glanced over and noticed that Ana had her hair in a small ponytail.

"It's gotten longer," I teased and poked at the hair tie.

"I've been busy, haven't had much time to cut it," Ana justified.

The front door swung open and Max dramatically walked in, hands out. "Well hello fellow human species!" She greeted everyone in the room, "I have some fun news to share."

The few akatsuki members groaned, "what is it this time?" said the money man, Kakuzu.

"Jeez you don't have to act so depressing," Max answered back. "Anyways, I got accepted to a community theater group! I'm so happy!"

"Since when do you act?" Pein looked up from the scroll he was reading.

Max stood speechless for a moment before proceeding to yell. "Are you serious!? I've talk non stop that I'm going to be an actress in the future!" She waved her arms around.

"Have you?" Hidan seemed a little skeptical.

She paused, "well…I'm sure I have."

"Please don't start," Pein muttered.

"Guess I'll just have to talk about it more."

"Me damn it…"

I giggled out loud.

* * *

After dinner I grabbed my empty basket from the laundry room and headed upstairs. I wasn't in any rush to get to my room. On the contrary. I like to walk slow and see what the others are talking about sometimes. For instance, Kisame asked Itachi where the soap was. And just now Hidan cursed about how his towel is all bloody. Akatsuki talks are fun.

Without knocking (because it's my room) I swung the bedroom door.

"Linda!" Ana said in a panic as she quickly threw a blanket over something.

"What?" I dropped the basket next to my bed and walked over to the board that Ana was standing in front of. "What's that?"

"What's what?"

"That."

Ana turned around, "oh how did that get there…?"

I crossed my arms and stared at her. She looked back over at me. "You didn't even cover it right–only half of it is covered. Might as well tell me what it is."

Ana sighed took the rest of the cover off showing the entire board. It had papers layered on each other. Writing, notes, sketches, all held together with thumbtacks. A line of string was everywhere like in the cop shows.

"Um, what is all this?" I leaned in to see what was written. I noticed the yellow notebook at the bottom.

"My shipping board. I add evidence or things that go well with my shipping," Ana explained. I knew it!

"Like Max and Hidan?"

"Yeah."

I laughed a bit, "I wonder how Max would feel about this."

Ana glared at me, "you better not!"

I sprinted towards the door and ran down the hall. I swung the second door on the right, "Max!–" My jaw dropped. Ana ran to me… her jaw dropped as well...

Max and Sasori stared at us. Sasori had Max pinned to the ground by the wrist with his knee sinking in her stomach. His scowl returned and glared down at Max.

"I'll deal with you later," Sasori got up and walked passed the two of us.

Max sat up and looked back and forth between us. "If you keep your mouths open a fly will get in," she said casually.

Ana manually had to close my jaw. My eyes were still widen though. "Well it seems that we must get going," I waved by and pulled Ana and I back to our room. When we arrived I closed the door and looked back as my sister slowly came to a stop.

"You saw what I saw right?"

I nodded my head. She walked over and picked a tiny notebook off the easel where the shipping board was sitting on.

"What's that?" I asked.

She only replied with, "point—Sasori."

* * *

 ***Me damn it = God damn it. for Pein.**

 **This is bullshit! I fucking** **HATE** **my school's new schedule! (late for ranting) It falls right in the middle of the day-it takes up the whole day! It starts at 8:50-4:00! Plus add like an hour or two of homework (when I get h/w), so 5-6:00, let's not forget dinner time. I go to sleep around 10:30-11. This fucking shit doesn't give me time for activities and for story writing!**

 **IT'S BULLSHIT!**

 **YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO DO!? You know what I'm going to do…?! You know what I'm going to do…?! You know what I'm going to do…?!**

 **You know what I'm going to do…?!**

… **I'm going to cry.**


	62. Me, Myself, and Him

**Linda: Who is pumped up for October! I know I am!**

 **Max: Hell fucking yeah!**

 **Linda: We got Halloween!**

 **Max: Yeah!**

 **Linda:And!**

 **Max: Yeah?!**

 **Linda: …**

 **Max: …**

 **Linda: … Yeah!**

 **Max: Alright!**

 **Ana: What the hell is wrong with you two?**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Thank you, juanhenrique1012, for following and favoriting me and the story.**

* * *

 **Max**

I rubbed my wrist, "what's up with those two?" I mumble.

 _Flashback_

 _I kneeled beside Juuzou, who was sleeping on his new bed. He is so adorable, I thought. The door swung open and naturally I thought it was Sasuke._

" _I'm done with laundry you can go next."_

" _You…" I looked over to see Sasori standing at the doorway glaring at me._

" _Me?"_

" _I know you took it, where is it?" He hissed._

 _I looked around feeling really lost. "Um, what?" Sasori walked towards me ready to strangle the answers right out of me. Which I wouldn't be surprised if he's done it to someone before he came here. "Why are you glaring at me like_ – _" I gasped as I was suddenly knocked to the floor. A pain came through my stomach._

" _I lost a very special scroll, top secret. I've nearly asked everyone and they supposedly haven't seen anything." Sasori continued, "which leaves me to the second person who would have taken it."_

 _My eyes stared right at him, "do you mean me?" I watched as Sasori's eye twitched._

 _I soon noticed why my stomach began hurting. He had his knee sinking into it. I couldn't move my hands, he had a death grip on my wrist._

" _Max_ – _!"_

 _I looked over to see Linda's mouth drop, followed by Ana. Sasori scowled and glared back down at me saying that he'd deal with me later._

It's later so I don't know where he is. Than again that was only four minutes ago. I quietly made my way out the room, careful to not wake Juuzou up. I went downstairs to see Pein was in the living room. Minus Zetsu eating, which is best not to question as I see a red liquid from his mouth.

"Hiya Pein!" That came out chirpier than I intended.

"What did you do?"

"You noticed the extra ethysism too?"

Pein rolled his eyes and continued reading the scroll that he had open. I took some peeks here and there. Zetsu had finished eating and decided to join the party.

"What was it?" I asked.

"Snack."

"No, was it female or male?"

" **Child,** " Black Zetsu creepingly whispered.

I looked blankly at him. "Male…? Or female…?"

"Male," white Zetsu said, looking a bit embarrassed.

I sighed, "man or woman?"

" **Child** ," he happily chanted. I nodded my head and reached for the remote to see what was on the news.

" _Train crash causes huge traffic jam. Fireman and Policeman are at the scene doing their best to control the situation."_

"Max," Pein called out.

"Mh?" I surfed through the channels making my way to comedy central.

"Your phone has been vibrating for the last minute," Pein threw my phone at me and got up heading to the kitchen. I'm assuming to make hot chocolate. But he didn't have to be so aggressive.

I redialed the number and waited.

"Jeez, Max, how long are you going to ignore me I'm in a hurry." the voice answered.

"Oh hey, Jo–"

"Anyway's I was just wondering when you'll be arriving."

I frowned, "what do you mean?"

"The party," she said annoyed.

"What party?"

"NO!" I jumped at the booming voice of Pein. Zetsu looked at the two of us and sunk into the ground to hide.

"What was that?" The voice asked.

Pein glared at me, "what did we say about parties."

I put my finger to my lips to shush him. "Nothing. What party?" I asked.

Sigh, "the celebration on a new season for acting, dummy."

"No." (Pein).

"Shut it," I hissed to Pein. "What time?" I said through the speaker.

"Around seven."

"Cool, sea ya."

"Bye."

I hanged up and glared at Pein. "It better be just for you," he snapped, "I already told you that parties are prohibited. Especially after what happened last time."

I grumbled and fingered the ring on my left hand. "It wasn't that bad… okay maybe a little." I corrected, "but, don't worry, I was only invited. It's a celebration of a new season in acting."

Pein sighed and stopped stirring the mug. "Just make sure you leave quietly so you don't tempt the others."

I gave a thumbs up and made my way up the stairs. The party didn't start in two hours. Which gives me an hour before I have to get ready.

"Psss…"

I turned around. Tobi was hiding behind the wall looking scared. I think, it's hard to tell with the mask on.

"What you what, Tobi?" Tobi pulled me down to his level.

"Max–chan–"

"Told you not to call me that."

"–Tobi has a problem," ignored. "I accidently put explosives in Deidara–senpai's room."

I frowned, "how do you _accidently_ put explosives in someone's room?" Which now that I think about it, I'm not letting Tobi anywhere near my room.

"Well senpai kicked me out, which cause the explosives to fall out of my cloak. It's only a matter of time before they go off!"

"Katsu– hey!" Tobi and I turned around and saw Deidara standing behind us. "Move out the way," he said to me throwing his hand to the side. I got up and took some big steps away from them. "Good… KATSU!"

Suddenly, little explosives began popping under Tobi. Sending him running down the hall. I crossed my arms and stared at Deidara. "Way to go, you burned the wall, jackass."

"Whatever, as long as Pein didn't–"

"DEIDARA!" Pein's voice angrily came up the floor.

"Hear…" Deidara threw some clay at me and ran down, "it's all on you now!"

Ew, the clay is all wet and cold. Some parts are warm which is really gross. Probably because it's recently been in his mouth–hands. I made my way to my room to clean up the uncomfortable material. Opening the door I spot Sasuke and Linda sitting, with two open crossword books. Why are those two always here when I have to get ready?

"Hey, Max," Linda greets me without looking up. "Sasuke what did you get for six down?"

"Haven't gotten anything? But I do have seven down, got ten across?" Sasuke asked clicking his pen.

"It's Owl," Linda answers.

"Kangaru." Sasuke glanced up at me, immediately doing a double–take. "What are you covered in?" Linda turned around and begins to giggle.

"Well our good friend Deidara threw some of his clay at me," I pulled a piece off and rolled it up. "It feels really weird and–"

"So what about six down?" They continue with their crosswords, ignoring me. I glare at them for a bit and make my way towards the bathroom. A hot shower should get it off, I think to myself as I slam and lock the door shut.

After showering and drying myself off, I grab another towel for my hair. "I look like a wet dog," I mutter to the mirror. I open the door and step out. "Could you guys leave so I can get ready?"

Suddenly, I crashed to the floor with a huge thud. Fuck, my head!

"It's later," I hear Sasori's voice. I snap my eyes open. They slowly widen in horror as the towel slips undone. Sasori's scowl is blank, and looks me up and down. "Impressive," he raises an eyebrow.

I push him off with a slap and retie the towel. "PERVERT!" I scream.

He rubbed his cheek, "well isn't that forceful."

The door burst opened, "I hear screaming and I'd like to join!" Hidan dropped his arms to his side, "oh it's just you two," he walked out disappointed.

"LEAVE!" I screamed. Sasori get's up and makes his way out. But before the door closes I hear a snicker. The door reopened and Sasuke walks in.

"Oh I didn't know…" he looks away uncertain of what to do.

"I just need some clothes," I'm shaking and I feel my cheeks redden. I open my closet and grab whatever my hand feels first.

* * *

"What's wrong with you?"

I lift my head up from the table and gave a gloomy look. "I've been traumatized from showering."

My club mate (the one on the phone from earlier) holds her nose indicating disgust. "That's not good." She laughs it off and pushes me to sit up. "Don't act so sad! Sit up straight and have fun, plus, I think that boy has been checking you out this whole time." She gets up and goes to mingle with the other actors.

I casually and slowly turn my head over my shoulder and glance around the room. My eyes stop at a guy with dirty blonde hair. He's wearing a dark green flannel over a black shirt, wearing a ripped old NASCAR hat. His hair barely touching his shoulders, kinda like Chris Hemsworth. Mystery guy laughs at a joke his friend tells and makes eye contact with me. We stare for a couple seconds before he looks back at his friend. Sigh. Well, he's cute, I'm bored. I get up, grab a can of soda and head over to him.

As I make my way towards him I noticed Mystery guys' friend leave. "Max," I say once I'm near. I hold my hand out and wait.

He shakes it, "Daniel." He slightly smiles. "I've never seen you around, you new?"

"If that's how I'm getting addressed then might as well tattoo it on my forehead." I joke.

"Well why would we ruin such a good face?" he smiles again only a little more playful. He's good.

We continue talking for most of the time that we're both here.

"Yeah but we also have to think about how dumb it would be if we continue living on our own." Daniel pops a peanut in his mouth and chews.

"That might be true but we shouldn't be to dependent of our state. Cuz we have to do what isn't the norm." I smirked and took a handful of peanuts putting them one by one in my mouth.

"True, what would the world do without us actors." At this Daniel and I clink cans and drink. Most of the guest have already left. I look at the clock on my phone.

"Oh shit it's eleven," I didn't think I spent so much time here.

"Oh crap I've got to head back. Let me walk you to your car," he suggest. I shrug and nod, letting him take the empty can and throwing it near a recycling bin. I put my coat on and head out.

"When do you suppose it's gonna snow?" I ask once we're outside.

"Possibly a week," Daniel stares up at the sky, which is full of stars tonight. The walk wasn't that long or talkative. I parked fairly close.

Daniel stops and hands me a card. "What's this?" I ask taking it.

"My number, can't be enemies if we're gonna work together so much," he justified. I nodded and slipped the card in my coat pocket.

"Well then, I guess I make the first text," I winked.

I don't know if I've made a friend, or a potential boyfriend.

* * *

 _ **After Hours…**_

"Mmmm?" Linda tapped her chin with the end of her pen.

"We've finished the whole booklet but we can't seem to get page 18, six down," Sasuke said frustrated. Itachi walked in and noticed the focus the two youngsters had.

"What are you two doing?" He asked making his way towards the couch.

"We can't seem to figure out the last question. An animal without legs or nasal smell!"

Itachi, as casual as he could go, reached into his cloak and pulled a hand mirror out. He faced it towards Sasuke.

The younger Uchiha frowned, "I don't get–"

"It fits," Linda cut off.

"What?"

She lifted the book up showing the word that perfectly fit: Snake. Itachi put the mirror back and calmly walked away.

Sasuke grumbled, "snake my–"

"Sasuke!" Linda gasp, "you shouldn't say such things to your brother!"

"Oh, shut it!" He snapped and started on a new booklet.


	63. Mistletoe

**Thought you wouldn't see me so soon huh? Well I'm happy that's all. I did a lot of shit (assignments) and test this week. Whoo! But I feel refreshed, I turned things in early (kinda) so I could be free as much as I could.**

 **So enjoy the chapter.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Or Michael Bublé's Christmas album**

* * *

 **Ana**

Well this is awkward. I would like to start off saying that I _intentionally_ skipped Thanksgiving. Why? Well, all I can say is… Chaos.

 _Fields burning with Amaterasu. Pein constantly Almighty Pushed, screams shrilled the sky! Linda tackled Goldilocks, Zetsu emotionally harassed himself? Kisame and Kakuzu wouldn't stop stabbing Hidan, Sasori and Konan did a rematch. And Max sat staring at an asparagus, considering to eat it!_

I left before getting the chance to see them calm down and act completely normal the next day. As far as normal as they can get. Plus, Tobi ran around with a turkey stuck on his head. And Goldilocks wouldn't stop eating gravy with his mouth–hands! Ew, I shudder to this day. The only person who didn't do anything, not including myself, was Sasuke. He just stood and watched the chaos with me.

"Okay, gang," Max started. She stepped down from the stool and smiled at us. "I finished putting the last touch on the christmas tree." she smiled widely.

"I still think mine was better," Hidan annoyingly grouched.

Pein rubbed his temples. "Throwing glitter and lights on Zetsu, doesn't count as a christmas tree."

"We were _All_ thinking it!"

Everyone shook their heads and disagreed. I brought over the last tray of hot chocolate and handed the mugs to Pein, Konan, Itachi, and myself.

"So are we actually doing something tomorrow, or are you all going to go into a mental breakdown?" I ask. At once everyone began saying that they don't know what I'm talking about, and I'm making things up. They're _so_ in denial. It's cute… not.

"We should just eat and open presents!" Linda smiled.

Kakuzu snorted, "what presents?"

Linda's smile stiffened. She looked over at the bottom of the tree. It was empty. "Why don't we have presents?"

"Sorry, bud, budget cuts," Max apologetically shrugged.

"Liar," Kisame coughed.

She glared at him, "did you want something for christmas, _Kisame_?" Max said through her teeth.

"Just watching out for Little Guppy," he laughed.

"So do you guys want something?" Max looked around the room.

"No. Don't go spending our money on things we don't need," Kakuzu hissed. "Unless you plan on using your own money."

"Of course." Once Kakuzu turned around Max mouthed a 'no' and shook her head. I personally don't want anything. Other than the usual iTunes card, but nothing if you don't include that.

"Well, I'd like something," Pein said standing up. He scribbled something on a sheet of paper and handed it to Max. She stared, and looked up at him.

"Either, you're getting crafty, bad at fixing things, or just feeling down right feeling kinky," she questioned.

His eye twitched, "I need it to make sure something stays sealed."

Sigh, "alright I'll talk to Santa and see what I can do."

Pein rolled his eyes and made his way out the room. Once I was sure he was out of earshot I whispered, "what did he write down?"

Max flipped the paper towards me, "just a roll of duct tape."

"It makes sense, why you'd say that," Goldilocks chuckled.

"I have a feeling I know what he wants to seal," Itachi murmured to himself.

I continued sipping the hot chocolate hearing everyone's ideas of why Pein would need to use duct tape. If you asked me I think he just broke something and is just being cheap. Kinda like what Kakuzu would do. Kisame continued scribbling down everyone's predictions. Man they can be so loud.

"Hey, keep it down I'm trying to–" what am I doing. Has it snowed yet? I got up from the couch and walked to the windows. Linda followed, eager to know what I was doing. I opened the blinds and shield my eyes from the sun. "Hey, there's about four inches of snow right now!" I called back.

"NO!" the Akatsuki immediately snapped at Max.

"What?" she asked completely confused as to why they were already denying something before she requested it. _If_ she planned to request something.

"We aren't going outside to play that dumb game of snowball fight," Sasori sternly explained.

"I don't know why you're calling it stupid, all of you enjoyed it."

"Yeah," the Akatsuki guilty admitted.

Kisame raised his hand, "we just don't want to be kept up all night hearing the sneezing and coughing."

Linda slumped onto the couch window, "I still don't know how _we_ got sick…"

"Yeah, you guys just had a cloak and sandals on," I muttered, "we carefully covered ourselves."

Max stood up, "doesn't matter, do what you want," she waved her hand, "I'm going to go outside and step on fresh new snow. Join me if you want to!" she yelled putting her shoes and coat on before walking out. No one followed.

I headed back to my seat to continue sipping on the hot chocolate. Mmmm… still warm. The whipped cream has melted though.

"My marshmallows got melted into a big one," Goldilocks noted pushing it around the liquid.

"Tobi likes the fire," Tobi–who's been surprisingly quiet this entire time. Put his hands out to warm them. In my head I was wondering, what would happen if he caught fire right now? As we speak. Whatever, I'm just going to pay attention to my hot liquid.

* * *

Christmas Eve is more important than Christmas. Think about it. Everyone goes to dinner, laughs, drinks and sings from what? Six–seven at night to three in the morning. Nine hours. Christmas Day is morning to afternoon. Starting at ten or eleven because everyone is hungover at this point. You don't really care because you already opened your presents.

I pushed the raw cookies into the oven, careful not to burn myself. Most of the main food was done. All that's left is dessert.

"Fuck, it smells good!" I looked up at Hidan as he sniffed the air.

"Well I'm now starting on desserts, so obviously." That came out more sarcastic than what it needed to be.

Linda jumped down the steps, skipping in her long sleeved, over the knee, red dress, with black tights. "Christmas is my favorite holiday!" she happily clapped.

"Finally!" Max laughed in triumph, "I've connected it at last!" She pushed play on her ipod and Michael Bublé's Christmas album began to play.

"Nice touch," Hidan compliment. Note to self: Add that to the shipping board. Max said a quick bye, that she had to get ready. As for me, I need to finish the sweets.

"Mmm… what's that smell?" Kisame asked delighted. He and Itachi walked down the stairs towards the three of us.

"Desserts," Linda answered for me, "cookies, hot brownies with vanilla ice cream on them, and a chocolate cake with chocolate moose in the middle." She shivered in delight at the thought of all the goodies she planned on eating.

"That does sound appealing," Itachi said amazed. "By the way what are we listening to?"

"Michael Bublé's Christmas album," I said as I put the brownies in. I began making the cream cheese frosting for the cake. One by one everyone came down to help set the food and table. Max came down to help serve while I changed. She was in a long sleeved, red lace dress.

Finally settling into our seats Kisame suddenly burst out laughing. "The three of you are matching!" he teased.

I was wearing a nice red sweatshirt and black jeans. "Well you all are wearing the same cloak," Max sassed.

Kisame glowered at us, "touché."

We passed the food around making sure everyone got their fair share. _Holly Jolly Christmas,_ began to play. It was nice to watch everyone (not Sasori, and Zetsu) eat and talk.

"I wish I had a Santa Baby," Max joked to the song that was playing. She raised her eyebrows at her trio. Which, not surprisingly, they declined.

"It's sad to call you my partner," Hidan depressingly sighed, "I can easily get one… look at yourself. So sad." He shook his head, "I could _almost_ feel sorry."

"Whatever, the only difference is that I'm not whoring out," Max said under her breath.

"What the hell are you saying?!"

"If the condom fits, wear it…" she paused and whispered, "that sounded better in my head."

"It was okay," Kisame shrugged.

Tobi suddenly jumped from his seat. "When can we get dessert!" I checked the timer and got up from my seat. I left the oven on low so it could be a little chewy by the time we finished eating. I called everyone out to make it easier. I put the pastries on a plate, Max put a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the hot brownies, and Linda would put a fork to eat with.

"What should we do until we open presents at twelve?" Konan asked. We all cozily sat near the fireplace (yes it's real) eating our dessert. Except those who don't eat, and Sasuke since he doesn't like sweets.

"A game?" Zetsu suggested. We looked at Max, she shrugged.

"I don't know don't look at me…" I looked over at Linda, "sike!" Max yelled, "I do have an idea, totally got you guys!"

Silence.

"Ahem. How about a game of truth or dare?" Max pulled out a green covered book with the words _Truth Or Dare_ , written on the front. "Who's first?"

"Try me," Hidan smirked.

"Okay," she flipped randomly to a page. "Truth or Dare?"

"Let's start off with a good old Truth."

"What has been the most annoying habit that an ex girlfriend has done?" Max looked up at Hidan.

Hidan tapped his chin thinking back to the good old days. "There was this one time that my first girlfriend tried forbidding me to not talk to anyone but her." Not much of a habit but okay.

"Like other girls?" Linda asked.

"Boys and girls."

Goldilocks slightly smiled, "I'm guessing you killed her later?"

Hidan gave him a stupid look, "I was twelve… so yes later when I was sixteen I killed her."

We went clockwise. Next was Goldilocks. "Truth or Dare?" Max asked.

"I think I would do a Truth?" he shrugged.

"When was the last time you tossed cookies…?"

"... is that some code phrase for masterbating or actual cookie tossing?" Goldilocks frowned.

Max shrugged, "I have never heard that phrase before, take it however you like."

He glanced around the room, "so what's the dare?"

"Do a cartwheel."

"That's easy," Goldilocks went behind the big couch to avoid crashing into anything. He did it without a problem. Which is sad for me. Next up was Kisame.

"I'll do… dare," Kisame gave a toothy grin.

Max froze mid reading, and suddenly began laughing. "Give an _intimate_ back massage to someone of the _same_ sex!"

Kisame's smile dropped fast. "Don't even think about it?" Itachi said before taking steps away from his partner. Kisame grumbled and looked around the room.

"Tobi come here," he dreadfully asked.

Tobi walked over to the blue man. "Tobi doesn't want–"

"To bad!" Kisame snapped. He turned tobi around and harshly rubbed his back.

"THIS IS MORE PAINFUL THAN INTIMATE!" Tobi whined, causing me to almost spit my food out. Kisame pushd Tobi to the floor and looked over at Max.

"That's good enough," she tried saying, but kept laughing too hard. "Okay, Konan you're next."

"Truth," she answered quickly.

"What is the best prank you've ever pulled?"

Konan thought for a moment, "I don't think I've pranked anyone…" Linda, Max, and I dreamingly sighed, 'such an angel.'

Which Zetsu asked if we still remember that she's part of a highly notorious criminal group. We don't care. Max handed the book to Itachi and chose Truth.

"What is the stupidest thing you have done because someone else dared you?"

Max crossed her arms and thought hard. "Oh! When I was in the third grade my brother dared me to shove a metal fork near the power box next door because we hated our old neighbor. And we thought it would make him lose his power… Needless to say it didn't, and I got shocked."

"Which brother?" Pein asked.

"Lucas, he was in the eighth grade. But man can he be dumb," she amusingly smiled. "Itachi you're turn."

He shrugged, "truth."

"What is the most embarrassing thing that your parents have seen you do?" Sasuke raised his eyebrows, equally interested.

"What's the dare?"

"That bad!" Hidan laughed, "did they catch you masterbating or dancing or perhaps midway of you killing the clan?" No chill.

Max spat out laughing, "I'm sorry that's not funny… _Ahem_. It's, tell us what makes you laugh?"

"Watching all you suffer…"

Everything grew silent. That went down hill _way_ too fast. The silence was quickly broken by Tobi announcing that he wanted a dare.

"You have to chose another player and show them an area of your body in a different room."

Tobi tapped his mask and innocently looked around. "I choose…. Kakuzu–senpai!" Kakuzu's eye began to twitch a lot. He followed Tobi into the library. It was silent and hard to hear. They came back a couple minutes later.

"How'd it go?" I asked.

"He just took his glove off and showed me his fucking hand," Kakuzu rolled his eyes in annoyance. Him and his old people problems.

"Sasori you're next Truth or Dare?"

"Truth, I rather not have a chance of physically touching any of you," he grumbled.

"Harsh," Linda muttered.

"Okay," Max flipped through the pages. "If you could kiss anyone in the world, who would it be?"

Sasori kept quiet staring straight ahead. Which was the coffee table. He looked up and opened his mouth, "–

"Twelve a clock! Present Time!" Linda jumped up and ran to the tree. Tobi ran after and kneeled beside my sister.

Pein stood up and held his hands up, "before we begin I must ask, did you get what I wanted?" he asked looking at Max.

She nodded, "it's the small box on the very top." Pein nodded and grabbed his present, unwrapping the christmas themed wrapping paper. He took the protective plastic off the duct tape and made his way over to Max.

"Stand up," he ordered.

Max hesitated, "I don't think I want to…" Pein continued looking down at her with a hard face. Not really giving her a choose. She stood up looking really uneasy. Pein ripped a piece off and slapped it on her mouth. Max's fear changed into annoyance. Pein, with a single tap, black liquid stretched itself all over her mouth.

That's when hell broke a little loose…

Max touched the duct tape. "HMMMMHMMMMHMHM!?"

"Yes," Pein said hiding his amusement.

"Hmy?!"

"Because I needed to be sure that you don't cause another–" he stopped and glanced over at Sasuke, "issue like last year."

Max put her hands to her hips. "HMMHMHMMMMHMMMHMMMMMMMHMHMHMM!"

Pein pushed her face away and walked back to his seat. "You can hand presents out if you want to."

I walked over to the tree to help Tobi and Linda pass presents out. Earlier Max told me that she added a nice surprise, so I'm wondering what it is. I grabbed Kisame's and tossed it to him. Next I grabbed Itachi's. I stood up and walked beside the couch that was closest to the door.

"Here, from Max," I said handing him the medium sized box.

"Thank you," Itachi shook it a bit to see if there was any candy inside. There was no sound so I'm guessing he got something else.

"HMMMMHMMM?!"

I looked over at Max and fowned, "what?"

"HMMMMHMMM?!"

"What?"

"She said, how could you do this to her?" Pein helped me.

I fowned, "do what?" I asked confused. She pointed at the ceiling above my head. I look up… and there staring into my soul hanging… was a mistletoe. Itachi and I stared at each other. "Oh hell no," I jumped up snatching it and threw it in the fireplace. I didn't even care that I burned myself when opening the gate.

Max sighed and set Juuzou on the ground before throwing herself on the couch. She laid her head on Sasori's shoulder. He couldn't move because of Goldilocks sitting next to him. Smirking. Recently Linda and I have been very observant of Sasori and Max. I don't ship it…but I am intrigued. Juuzou ran ripping and rolling in the wrapping paper.

"Check that out," Konan got up and went to peer out the window. We all got up and followed after. Max put a coat on and walked out completely ignoring the fact she was in a dress.

It was cold, dry, and windless. "Hmm," Max "said." I looked up at the sky. The stars were clear and bright. It looked really amazing, especially with the snow.

"A shooting star," Sasuke pointed right.

"Make a wish," Tobi giggled.

"I wish to finally have a pig," Linda clasped her hands together.

"It won't come true because you said it out loud," Kisame reminded her. I rubbed the bridge of my nose and shook my head.

"Hmmmhmhm," Max nodded happily.

"What did you wish?" Sasori asked not really caring.

"Hmmhm," she shook her head and stayed standing by Sasori.

Please, those two together? As if…. Right? C'mon just because their "married" doesn't mean anything… right? Well, whatever, I don't really find it amusing. But I still need to ask Linda.

"AHHHH!" Tobi ran around the field with his back in flames.

Huh, I guess I got to seem him on fire. That's a nice present. Next is Goldilocks.

* * *

 **So I did a Truth or Dare silumator to help me. And I genially didn't know what, "tossing cookies" meant.**

 **I looked it up this morning and found out it means to throw up or vomit... so that's fun!**


	64. They were the worst of times

**Max: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SASORI!**

 **Ana (mutters): birthday Sasori…**

 **Max: Man, I gotta love that guy.**

 **Linda: Too bad it's on a Tuesday.**

 **Max: Better than a Monday!**

 **Ana: Excuse me**

 **Max: …**

 **Linda: Love ya…**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Linda**

Achoo! Cough, Cough!

"I am never, and I mean NEVER listening to you again!" Kisame yelled. Everyone cringed at their splitting headaches.

"Why do we still listen?!" Deidara questioned throwing his arms around; causing used tissues to fly everywhere. "We Know it's going to end bad!"

Konan and I coughed at the same time. Kakuzu blew his nose and Hidan shivered in the corner. Even though he's the closest to the fireplace. We all continued glaring at Max.

"Worth it…" she muttered into the pillow.

 _Yesterday_

"Okay, gang!" Max called to us as she made her way to the front of the room.

"Why are you calling us like?" Kakuzu scowled looking up from counting his money.

"Yeah! What are we, a crappy cartoon?!" Hidan yelled.

She stared back at him, "you don't have to yell, I'm standing right here."

I raised my hand up, "um, does it involve us going somewhere dangerous?"

Max shook her head, "no. But we are going somewhere magical…"

"Cut to the chase!" Deidara yelled.

"Fine, I want to have a good time with all of you in the jacuzzi."

"…we have a jacuzzi?" Ana asked.

"Wait!" Tobi yelled, "so that circle thing that I've been tripping on…is that the jacuzzi?"

"Yeah…"

"Why didn't you tell us earlier!?" Kisame's annoyance was agreed with the others.

Max shrugged, "I forgot. So, do you guys want to go in?"

We all looked around nodding. Kakuzu answers for us, "okay."

Max smiled widely. Which now that I look back, was a very mischievous look. "Go change while I set it up. It's very quick."

Itachi raised his hand, "may I ask where it is?"

"Well…"

"…"

"It's…"

"…"

"…outside."

I frowned, "you know it's the middle of winter, right?"

The rest of us remained silent. Pein spoke up first. "We are not going outside in the freezing cold just for your amusement." With that said everyone began walking towards the stairs.

"I'll pay each of you with my payment," Max negotiated. "Plus, how can you let go of a way of showing your…manliness?"

The thirteen of us stopped short.

"Money?" Kakuzu drooled.

"Manliness?" Hidan questioned.

"Being better than Uchiha!" Deidara said crazy eye. Itachi and Sasuke rolled their eyes.

"Okay!"

* * *

I held my freezing arms closer to myself as I walked towards the large hot tub. I climbed the three store stool and slowly entered. For a moment I thought I heard my skin sizzle, but it must have been in my head.

"It's so toasty underwater, but so cold…" Deidara's teeth chattered. For a moment I thought they would break off.

"Why aren't you getting in, Sasori?" I asked politely.

"I'm a puppet. Unless you want the run to fill with poison?" Sasori hissed.

I slumped deeper in the water. You didn't have to be so rude. I looked around seeing that we were all nearly dunking our heads in.

"Every time I lift myself, even for a little bit, I feel the cold

biting me," Ana shivered and lowered her head deeper.

"This is stupid," Kakuzu admitted for all of us.

"Okay, okay," Max got up wrapping a towel robe around her body before slowly making her way to the back door.

"H–Hurry up!" I whined.

Max slowly turned around with her hand on the door knob. "My hand is frozen, guys."

Hidan gave the ultimate facepalm. "Just how retarded can you get." He jumped out the hot tub and made his way over to Max. After a few silent minted Hidan turned around. "It's also fucking locked."

Kisame stood up, "Dr. Kisame Hoshigaki here!"

He stood up and walked over to the back door. Hidan ran back over to the warm water and jumped in. Unfortunately this caused a rather big splash, throwing water on our hair. This just got worse.

"You imbecile!" Deidara snapped grabbing Hidan by the throat and attempting to drown him. Of course he wasn't going down alone.

"PEIN!" Max happily gasped. "Open the door!" I smiled as Pein's face showed up at the window. He stared back at us before walking away.

"P–PEIN! G–Get back here!" Max yelled.

"What do we do?" I asked. My hands were numb the water was cooling by the outside temperature.

"I'll break the door down even with Max on it still," Konan said getting up. Her paper began floating everywhere. It slowly formed a big spear. "Max, would you so kindly not move."

"O–okay…" she whimpered.

The spear flew knocked the door down sending Max to the flood. "Ow." All of us ran out the tub and into the house.

Pein was sitting near the fireplace drinking hot chocolate. I threw myself towards the small flame. My body was very tired. I noticed everyone was on the floor laying around like hangover alcoholics. Which isn't that far from what they normally look like.

Kakuzu blew his nose, "how the hell did he not get sick!"

"He's majestic," Max and I dreamingly sighed.

Itachi looked up from reading. "Immediately showered and put rubbing alcohol afterwards."

Deidara stuck his tongue out and began mocking him. But soon went into a coughing fit.

"You know, it's not as worth it…" Max mumbled looking at the bandages on her hand.

"Can we forbid you from ever thinking of an idea?" Kisame asked in a serious voice.

"Maybe later," Pein said, "for now just work on not looking so pitiful." Classic Pein, so thoughtful.

"I should band myself," Max whispered. Juuzou me meowed and licked the tea from the mug that sat on the floor. Konan and I coughed at the same time. Kakuzu blew his nose and Hidan shivered in the corner. Even though he's the closest to the fireplace.

I hope we didn't really damage ourselves this time.

* * *

 **Sorry for the short stupid chapter. And late…**

 **im officially disappointed in Iowa.**


	65. Pizza Party!

**Linda: I can't seem to find where Ana is?**

 **Max (mutters) : Not this again.**

 **Linda: What?**

 **Max: Nothing… it's just that you always ask where Ana could be, but you know that she's hiding in the bathtub reading or watching anime.**

 **Ana: Do you ever shut up?**

 **Linda (shrug): Well I guess, but I thought she was smart enough to go hide somewhere else.**

 **Max(snorts): Yeah sure!**

 **Ana: Excuse me?**

 **Linda: You are excused.**

 **Max: Hahahahaha!**

 **Ana: *facepalms***

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **(Or spice girls)**

 **I totally forgot to mention this. But it's that time of the year! Speach! Which means fun, and posting late (time** – **not days). I get out around five so it's not too bad. I actually have practice Tuesday's and Fridays… the days I post.**

 **Hahah.**

 **What are the odds. Whatever, enjoy this chapter that I like. I hope it makes up for last chapter, I might delete it or do some big fixes. *Shrug* I don't know.**

* * *

 **Max**

I looked over at Linda and nodded my head. She returned the nod and looked straight ahead. I put my fingers up and silently counted down from 5.

3… 2… 1…

~"So tell me what you want what you really, really want!"~

~"I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!"~

~"I want!"~

~"I want"~

~"I want!"~  
"I want the two of you to shut the fuck up!" Ana snapped. She slammed the pan down on the stove and glared back between Linda and I.

"Why so grumpy," I poked at her cheek. Which began getting redder and redder with anger.

"I was peacefully cooking alone until the two of you showed," she hissed.

Linda gave out a big gasp and stepped back. She glanced left and right before leaning in to whisper. "Is it that time of the month?"

Ana glared at her, but kept silent. This time _I_ gasped. "Linda we have to flee! We've angered the angry period lady!" I snatched her hand and scurried towards the living room and hid in front of the couch.

Linda poked her head up, "wait, if it's your birthday why are you cooking?"

I shushed her. Ana is the only one who cooks. I clean, but… so does she. Whatever, I still did things on my birthday, I think… I can't really remember much.

Ana turned the stove off and walked towards us untying the apron. "Here," she said to me. She tossed the apron at me and made her way to the stairs.

"Way to go, Linda," I scowled, "who's going to make breakfast? She only got to one egg."

Linda shrugged, "why can't you? Make a simple egg." She suggested.

I grumbled and slipped the apron on over my head. I don't like making eggs, I have bad memories. Either someone gets food poisoning (me), someone burns themselves (Lucas), or spill a shit ton of salt for being clumsy (Diego).

"I'll just put waffles in the toaster, make hot chocolate, cut fresh fruit–in November." I pulled out what I needed and got to work.

"Eek!" five minutes into making breakfast I heard Linda shriek and turned around. She covered her face with her hands.

"You live with ten men, get use to it," Hidan scowled. But looked slightly amused.

"What's up?" I questioned noticing that the Jashinist was in just a towel.

"Why isn't the hot water working?!"

"Morning prayer?"

"Uh–yeah," Hidan answered like if it was the most obvious thing.

I put the knife down and walked towards Hidan. "Let's use some common sense, okay."

He nodded.

"The pipes are frozen and we need to fix them," I followed with, "or someone showered and used up all the hot water–"

At that exact moment Deidara walked down the stairs with his hair damped holding a towel. Hidan turned around with his face hard, facing the 19 year old.

"What the fuck!"

"What?" Deidara asked not understanding what was happening.

"Why the fuck did you use all the hot water?!" Hidan screamed in outrage.

"Um, no one showers in the morning," Deidara shrugged.

Hidan jumped out ready to strangle Deidara. But he moved at the last second. Deidara spat a spear clay–penetrating Hidan in the neck. Linda screamed in horror at the sight of of blood gushing out. I made a face–pretty graphic if you ask me. Hidan pulled the clay out and held onto his neck.

"Holy shit it works!" Deidara began rolling on the floor laughing. Hidan flipped him the bird, he can't speak with a throat filled with blood you know.

"Deidara quit messing around and clean this mess up, Linda stop screaming he's immortal, Hidan go shower–NO TOBI YOU CAN'T HAVE A COOKIE!" I screamed turning around. Tobi paused with his hand in the cookie jar that was located on the fridge. I stomped over and hauled him off the fridge before returning to making breakfast. The fruits are the last thing that needs taking care of.

Itachi, Pein, and Konan soon made their way down to the living room.

"You're just in time!" I cheered.

"What are you doing, Max?" Pein suspiciously looked at me and all the food.

"I finished making breakfast."

"Why?"

"Ana didn't want to since it's her birthday."

Itachi looked back at the calendar near the front door. "Monday – January 16."

I snorted, "Monday kid."

"Whatever," Pein continued, "just serve the food already." And he left with a scowl on his face. Konan followed after him, thanking me for making food.

"Hey, Itachi do you know where the pizza coupons that I saved are?" I asked taking a couple plates in my hand and arm.

"I believe you put them in the desk drawer in the library."

"Thanks." Itachi nodded and walked away, but ripped off a piece of waffle on his way out. "At least I know which one to give to him."

* * *

"Hmhm…" I continued humming as I brushed Juuzou's fur. All my chores were done, and soon I'd have to set the party up. (You thought I would've stopped by now, you. Although I did miss Sasori's birthday–but a death threat was what kept me in check.)

1\. Cleaning the kitchen

2\. Ironing clothes

3\. Cleaning the litter box

4\. Fighting with Sasuke

You know, the usual.

"What are you planning?" Sasuke asked looking through my desk for a pen.

Shrug, "just order some pizza and hang."

He stopped, "And?"

"And what?"

Sasuke turned putting a hand and pen on his hip. "Please, you can't throw a simple party. It's just not in your nature to do that."

I put Juuzou on the floor and stood up frowning, "Well I'll have you know that it isn't my fault that the Akatsuki are like that."

"No, but it is your fault that they're here–and me."

I put my fingers in my ears, "la la la–can't hear you! I have a pizza to call," I snatched my phone and the paper filled with pizza coupons. "Your brother helped me find coupons. He's nice, why aren't you?" I stuck my tongue out and stomped out our room.

Sasuke snorted, "right, nice."

I re-entered and scooped Juuzou up in my hand. "I'm taking my cat!" Juuzou squirmed in my grip. Unexpectedly, he jumped off and darted down the hall. I ran after him, I gasp as he ran towards the stairs.

"Juuzou!"I said sternly. He stopped and turned his head to the side. "Don't go any further."

Juuzou lifted his paw, hovering it over the steps.

"You have three to come back here."

He lowered it.

"3…"

He lowered it a bit more.

"2…"

(Deja vu)

"1…" Juuzou darted down the stairs. I yelled running after him. _How_ dare he disobey his mother! He continued running before taking a sharp turn towards the living room. As I continued running after I didn't notice someone standing where Juuzou ran passed. So I hit–so called someone and fell on them.

"Ouch," I mumbled raising myself. I was basically sitting on top of stranger. I looked to see Sasori on his elbows looking unamused. "Hello there."

"Get off."

I normally would have said something witty and deni getting up. But I was getting a phone call. I got off and stepped to the side. Unfortunately for Sasori, he had to stay put as Juuzou was jumping on him. And if he hurts my little baby I'll murder him. I don't care if he's a criminal terrorist feared by all!

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, Max!"

"Oh–hey Daniel what's up?" What am I a loser? What's up?

"Good. Just wanted to see if you were busy?"

"Like… now?"

"No–this weekend," he paused, "but if you're free now that would be awesome."

I felt my blood rush, "And do what do I owe such occasion?" And do what do I owe such occasion? Who am I, Martha Stewart?

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to… go see a movie or something. Just the two of us?"

My hand began to freeze and my face warmed, "Um, s–sure. I'll see you Saturday around five?"

"Yeah, see you later."

"Bye."

I bit my lip and hanged up. Sasori raised an eyebrow at me from the floor.

"What are you looking at? I have a pizza to order!" I snapped, waving the coupon's around.

* * *

"This is stupid," Ana said tired.

"C'mon, don't be such a party pooper," Linda smiled giving a good hearty slap on the back. Ana opened her eyes and observed the little party I gave her. Five large pizzas were displayed on the table, side of bread sticks. Balloons, and a passed out Tobi next to the helium tank from inhaling too much.

"What do you think?" I smiled confidently.

She raised her eyebrow, "not bad."

"Hurry the fuck up I'm fucking hungry!" Hidan yelled.

The three of us glared at him but walked to our seats. Linda helped me pass the plates and slices of pizza that each member wanted.

"So you're what? 15?" Kisame asked. A string of cheese dangled from his mouth. Ana nodded.

Tobi coughed and stumbled into a seat. "I thought Ana–chan was a year younger than Max–chan?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm turning 16 this July, moron."

Zetsu strolled in the dining room growling; hunger in his eyes. I stood up to grab him a slice. CHOMP. Zetsu bit down on the table, causing drool to spread. Itachi lifted his plate up in disgust. He growed like a dog with his jaw clamped on the table.

"Down Boy!" Hidan mocked.

Zetsu spit the side of the table. " **We aren't a dog, nip slip.** "

"Don't you need a shirt to have a nip slip?" Deidara pointed out to us.

Linda shivered, "let's not talk about that."

"BOOBS ARE AWESOME!"

"Max were talking about niples," Ana corrected.

"#FreeTheNiple!" I took my seat and glanced over at Ana writing something. "Nipslip? Cockblocker?"

"Yeah, they're nicknames. Cocksucker is what Black Zetsu calls White Zetsu."

I frowned, "what are you talking about Zetsu has never said that."

Ana looked up in complete shock. "What do you mean! He's always called him that!"

"No he hasn't! Zetsu?"

"Grrr…"

"See!"

Ana scowled, "he didn't even say anything!"

"You're just mad cuz you're wrong–" I blinked. I slowly reached up touching my cheek. I looked at my fingers to see I had marinara sauce. She… just slapped me with a pizza.

I reached for my slice and threw it at her. She dodged last minute and it ended up hitting Hidan in the face.

"What the fuck, bitch!"

Hidan threw his slice and I barely ducked. It of course hit Kakuzu in the face. He grabbed his but it slipped and hit Kisame.

"Hm? Pizza's hard to throw," Kakuzu noted. Linda chuckled and gently slapped Kisame with a pizza. He grabbed his plate full of pizza and nearly hit Linda. She pushed her chair out and Deidara got hit instead. The blond stood up and threw his coke. Which hit Sasuke, as Itachi swiftly moved out the way. Soon a brawl broke out. Everyone began to hit everyone with food. Jutsu's were even thrown in!

SMACK

My stomach dropped… all of us stepped back. Pein reached up and touched the alfredo sauce running down his cheek. He pushed his chair back and stood up glaring at everyone.

"Five…"

We winced.

"Four…"

Hidan threw the table and we all began fleeing out the dining room for cover. I pushed out to the kitchen. "Ana come quick!" Ana turned around to face me. And right there I smacked a small cake in her face. The Akatsuki paused and began laughing. I snorted and chuckled.

"Three…"

We returned to panic. Itachi went into crow mode and fled. Sasori went into Hiruko and walked out, followed by Deidara and his bird. Konan went into paper and fled. The other ran out using chakra to flee. I ran up stairs towards my room.

I grabbed Juuzou and hid in the tub in the bathroom.

Wish me dear god– luck!


	66. Lullaby: Road To Deal

**DO NOT SKIP - IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE AHEAD!:**

In honor of a year - November 25

I wanted to celebrate a year since I started Akatsuki Corporation. So my treat to all of you is that every day for this week I'll be posting a new chapter.

I just haven't decided if I want to end on the 25th or 26?

So thank you so much for those who have stayed for so long, and reviewed and followed/favorited.

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Thank you, Fire Maiden Zera, for following and favoriting the story!**

 **REVIEW!**

* * *

 **Ana**

A blonde boy pushed me closer and closer towards the big tall brown doors. Our footsteps echoed down the enormous marble hallway.

'Could this be…"

Two men in suits opened the doors up. Long rows of pews, chandeliers chimering. It was breathtaking. A giant crowd raised as the song, _Here Comes The Bride,_ began to play. This is weird.

I finally reached the altar when the blond boy let me go. I stared beside him, a boy with black hair stared back at me. Kinda eyes and a loving smile.

"Thank you, Naruto," he spoke, his voice smooth and hot. "For bringing my wife."

"Your What?" I choked.

"Hm, ok–my soon to be wife," he chuckled.

Naruto threw his arm over my–soon to be husband. "Anything for you, Sasuke."

The priest cleared his throat, forcing us to shut up. Everyone took a seat, Naruto gave a hearty slap on Sasuke's back before taking a seat.

"Ladies and Gentleman, we are gathered here for Sasuke and Ana," the priest smiled at the both of us. He looked at me and leaned forward. "Do you have your papers?"

"My what?"

"Your papers–to be able to marry an anime character."

"Um, no."

A harmonized gasp sounded through the church. Some woman fainted and fell to the floor. I looked around, I don't understand what the fuss is about.

Naruto walked over to us, "what are you going to do?"

I shrugged, "just go get the papers done."

"It's not that easy!" Sasuke crossed his arms in frustration.

In the corner of my eye I saw figure move closer and closer. "I think I can help," a small voice called out.

"How?" I asked–no emotion attached.

"Hi, I'm Linda," she handed the three of us business cards. "I'm a problem solver–may I assist you?" she pushed her glasses up.

I fingered the card. Well, I don't have a plan so I really have nothing to lose.

"Sure why not." Her face lit up, "so what's the plan."

Sasuke cut in, "why don't you two go while I keep everyone else busy," he smiled, "don't want them to miss out on something magical." I nodded.

"I think I know where to go to get help," Linda said with a wide smile. She began walking down the altar towards the doors. I looked back before following the kid.

Outside, Linda had already hailed a taxi and was waiting in the back seat. I walked over and slid next to her.

"So we're heading off to the building I work in to help you," she typed some keys into a tech pad and waited. I looked out the window beside me. There were a lot of street vendors and personal business. But nothing out of the ordinary.

"We're here."

Stepping out, I was faced with a giant large building with floors going–who knows how high up. Linda led me inside to the lobby. Everything was transparent and glass. I was afraid that the floor would break beneath us. We went straight towards the elevator and up to the 100th floor.

"My boss is the only one who can help you in such a short amount of time." She stopped in front of a door and knocked. After a couple minutes passed the door opened up by itself.

"Welcome!" A man in a bright orange mask yelled. He stood up and ran towards me shaking my hand violently. "It's nice to see you. Here at good boys and girls, we'll do anything to help you." He and Linda both chanting the slogan.

"Um, thanks," I answered feeling weirded out. I looked at the plaque sitting on the man's desk. _Tobi–a good boy_.

"So what can Tobi help you with?"

"I need a paper to allow me to marry someone."

"Hm? What kind and who?" Tobi crossed his arms and stared intently at me. Or I assume that's what he's doing.

"Well to marry an anime character–Sasuke." I could hear the gasp in my head.

Tobi remained silent… he slowly leaned back in his chair. Frozen and stiff.

"Um?"

"When?"

"In an hour."

He threw his hands in the air, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME! THAT TAKES A YEAR TO ACQUIRE!"

"Sorry," I muttered, I don't really understand what the big deal is.

Tobi stood up and walked towards a shelf near the far end of the room. He pulled a long tube out from the side and walked back to his desk. "I don't ever recommend this but… I know one way that could get you what you want."

He pulled out a long a rolled paper. Tobi spread it out, causing Linda to gasp. I'm guessing this is a big deal.

"Rumor has it that you can make a… special deal with a certain someone."

I thought for a moment, how bad can this get? "Okay."

Tobi nodded. "Alright. Linda, you'll be in charge of guiding Ana where she needs to go. I'll send you the map.

"Got it boss!"

Well, it seems that our quest begins.

* * *

I sighed and continued walking down the dirt road. "Are you sure you know where you're going?"

Linda looked back at me, "of course," she pushed her glasses up. "I've made the correct calculation. The map never lies."

"Okay…"

We continued on the path down a hill. Just near the base was a small little hut with smoke coming out the chimney. "This is the first stop," Linda whispered making it towards the front door. With a couple knocks, the door swung open.

"Can I know why I'm being interrupted!" a blonde hair person snapped. He took a drag from a cigarette and dropped in on the floor by our feet.

"Ah, you must be Deidara," Linda smiled not getting the hint that he wanted us to leave. "You can help us."

"Who is it?" a voice inside called out.

Linda looked both ways before leaning in. "Potato."

Deidara frowned, "what?"

"Sorry–Plato."

Deidara continued staring at her before grumbling something under his breath and opening the door wider. "Come in."

"Code words," Linda whispered.

Inside was a small room that crammed a kitchen, a small table, some chairs, and a bookshelf. The voice from earlier was sitting at the table with a cigarette in his hand and whiskey in another. He was wearing similar clothes as Deidara–dress pants and wrinkled button down. His eyes followed me as I took a seat.

"So what's the deal?" he asked.

Deidara sighed, "I'll figure it out in a bit, Kisame." Deidara took a seat and looked between Linda and I. "So what's the big deal, what's so important."

I shrugged, "I need marriage papers to an anime character."

"When?"

"In about 40 minutes."

Kisame and Deidara's jaw dropped. "In such a short time!"

Linda sighed, "yeah… can you just help us?"

Deidara grumbled again, "fine, here." He got up and took a folded paper from the bookshelf and tossed it to me. "That's where you need to go next. After that you should start heading… down."

Linda and I both walked out continuing down the path we were going on. She continued rambling on about how she wants to do better in her job, but not enough people are giving her chances. And how thankful she was for me letting her help me out.

"Yeah, yeah just make sure you're making us go the right way," I could feel myself get more annoyed by the minute.

"Don't worry, we're already here."

I examined our surroundings. There were grass as long as three feet, but nothing put a picnic was near. "What are you talking about? The only people here besides you and I are those three at the table."

Linda nodded, "just follow my lead." she walked over began talking. "Hello fellow Citizens, I am Linda."

The group stared at her before introducing each other. "Pein," the orange haired boy said.

"Konan," the blue head said.

"Sasori," announced the last one.

"Such nice names," Linda continued, "well we need help, here," she handed Pein the folded paper. He opened it, scanned it, then threw it to the side.

"What idiot would ever go do a deal with them?" he asked.

"Look, I just need mariage papers to marry an anime character." I stated.

Sasori snorted, "must really love them if you're using this method."

"When do you need it?" Konan asked.

I narrowed my eyes, "27 minutes."

Pein rolled his eyes. "Whatever, you only have 15 minutes to go in and out. Deal."

Linda and I both nodded. Pein reached under the table and pulled a small lever. Slowly, the ground beneath us began shaking and slitting. A hole opened up with stairs leading down. I gulped and slowly walked down, Linda hid herself behind me. When we reached the bottom a desk stood in front of a large door.

"Are we in the right place?" I whispered.

Linda looked at her tablet. "I think so… just ask that guy," she pointed at a man staring at us.

I cleared my throat, "um we're here to talk to someone."

He extended his hand. "A little something to slip you in."

I groaned at the man–which his name tag said Kakuzu. I slapped ten bucks on the desk and pushed through the door not waiting for him to open it. Linda apologized before walking close to me. A loud organ played, followed with a skeleton playing the guitar. A demon with bat wings banged on the drums. It all came together to one big metal song.

I pulled Linda over to a bench in the back to wait. The song sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite place where I've heard it. Soon, it came to an end. I clapped and all the members disappeared.

"That's weird," Linda mumbled.

A door in the far corner in the right opened and two figures of different sizes walked out.

"Welcome To The Underworld. I'm Max and Hidan!"

I stared as the two stood back to back with an arm extended and wide smiles.

"Um… hey," I awkwardly put my hand up.

"What can we help you with?" Max smiled at me. I got up pulling Linda with me to the two.

"We need you to do your deal thing," Linda whispered.

Hidan chuckled. "Come into our office," he led us towards the open door. It was small and crammed a desk with two chairs.

"So what can we help you with," Max eagerly pulled notes out and pens.

"We need marriage papers so Ana–her, can get married to Sasuke–an anime character." Linda said.

Hidan and Max nodded. They turned around and whispered before looking back at me.

"Okay, all you have to do is make a deal with us," Hidan pulled a black piece of paper out.

I frowned, "wait… what kind of deal is this?"

"Uh, you sell half your soul… and get something to take care of."

I stared back and forward. "Okay!" I cut the tip of my ring finger to draw blood and placed it on the paper.

As soon as the blood touched the paper it changed into marriage papers. Linda clapped happily and Hidan slipped the papers into an envelope.

Max cleared her throat. "Okay, one last thing. You just have to take care of Zetsu for the rest of your days."

"Who's Zetsu."

Hidan put his fingers in his mouth and whistled. A plant like guy walked into the room bored. "You just need to give him a body every week." Max whispered.

* * *

After talking a bit about the deal. Max and Hidan sent us straight back to the church. Nice of them considering that they're a pair in the underworld.

"You're back," Sasuke smiled. I walked up the altar and handed the priest the papers. He scanned through them before nodding.

"The wedding will continue," everyone clapped, minus the group of fangirls in the back that were crying. "Do you Sasuke, take Ana to be your wife?"

"I do."

The priest nodded, "and do you Ana?"

"Yes."

"Ana?"

"I said yes."

"Ana"

"What?"

"Ana"

"Ana!"

"WHAT!?"

"I'm hungry!" I opened my eyes to find Hidan looking down with a scowl on his face.

"Did I fall asleep on the couch?" I yawned looking around.

"Yeah, we sent Itachi to wake you up," Hidan looked back at the couch far back. "But clearly that didn't work."

Itachi looked up from reading, "you'd think she would wake up to my ominous feeling."

I rolled my eyes and got up to start working. Better distract myself to forget such a weird dream.

* * *

 **Day 1: First day of our celebration!**

 **PS. The "metal" song in the underworld was Hidan's theme song. Listen, its good.**


	67. Uchihacest

**Day 2: Celebrate!**

 **I went to Kohl's and Walmart, and it was like… the time of my life.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **I know it's short… but, my god I couldn't resist :)**

* * *

 **Linda**

Juuzou wrapped himself onto the cushioned mouse toy. He digged and bit trying his best to make sure I couldn't get it. But he keeps forgetting that I have a string to easily pull it away. Max asked me if I could watch him for a bit while Ana and her would talk about some files. Pretty boring.

"Man, I could go for some water," I got up and picked Juuzou up from the ground. Max would get upset if I left him alone while he's awake. He's been going awol recently.

I walked out the room and made my way down the stairs. I was just about to stepped down when two whispered caught my attention. I retreated and listened intently. "Shhh," I whispered to Juuzou to make sure he doesn't make any noise.

"It's been awhile," I heard Max mumble.

"I haven't read in a long time, but this is just weird to find that kind of fanfiction opened on a window." Ana sounded disgusted. The two walked past not noticing me from the stairs and went to the laundry room.

Very quickly I went to the library to find out what they were talking about. The first thing I noticed was Ana's old tablet on the desk. I picked it up and swipe to unlock. A window poped up with a fanfiction story.

"What's this?" I whispered to myself with the tablet in one hand and Juuzou in the other. I scrolled a bit, scanning the whole page. My jaw dropped in shock and my eyes widen x3 bigger.

* * *

Deidara squinted down at the cards on his hand before looking back up at the rest of us. "Queen of Diamonds?"

I shook my head, "go fish."

He grumbled and dragged another card into his hand. Kisame and Kakuzu laughed at his failure. Done with their chores, Ana and Max walked to the couches where the rest of the Akatsuki were being lazy.

"Anything new?" I questioned.

Ana shrugged. Max chuckled, "we found Ana's old tablet." she sighed remembering the good old times.

"Oh yeah, I noticed you left it on a Uchihacest fanfiction."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the three of us. "Uchiha… cest?" Pein frowned in confusion.

I nodded and rushed, "It's a story where the two–

 **(Only time I have to censor - or else the Uchiha brothers kill me)**

"–* **bleep***. And they touch and lick each other's ***bleep*** and they thrust ***bleep*** in ***bleep***. And Itachi's all like, _I'll show you big brother_ -"

Ana smacked her hand to my mouth forcing me to shut it. I bit my tongue though…

The entire Akatsuki looked ready to vomit. Itachi and Sasuke looked completely pale… or paler than usual.

"S-she's joking!" Max quickly lied. But the damage was already done. And there was no going back, RIP me.

* * *

I'm grounded. Grounded for two weeks. Ana wanted to do a month but Max decided that I didn't really know what I was talking about so they lessen the punishment. I kinda understand some of it, but on the other hand I don't. Part of my punishment is more chores, not allowed to touch things without permission, no IPod. Plus, I can't look or talk to Itachi and Sasuke. Which is a bummer considering that Sasuke and I are crossword puzzle buddies.

Hmmm? I guess a quick life lesson is… Don't go deeper into the fanfiction weirdness. The Akatsuki have already been scarred for life.

Or Forever for Hidan.

* * *

 **She can be so innocent and cute sometimes. :)**


	68. Papers

**Day 3: Only three more days until a full year. Also, I didn't get lazy. I just really needed that last chapter as a solo.**

 **Max: Put that thing back where it came from or so help!**

 **Linda: (bum, bum, bum)**

 **Max: So help, so help, and CUT!**

 **Ana: Monsters Inc. Really?**

 **Max: Do you mean, Greatest movie of all Time!?**

 **Ana: …**

 **Linda: …**

 **Max: Because Yes!**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Review! C'mon it's been almost a year be a little nice. It's almost thanksgiving be nice!**

* * *

 **Max**

"Akatsuki," Pein announced for our attention. "It seems the day finally arrived for six people." he looked at Linda and Hidan, Sasuke and Ana, Deidara and Itachi, and finally Sasori and me. "The nice man got what we wanted and is going to finally release all of you from those rings."

Kakuzu pointed and glared at me. "Don't forget that you and I have a deal to keep."

Crap I don't remember what our deal was! "Yes, but to make sure we're on the same page, why don't you explain."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes, "remember, idiot, we split the rings to get money from the gold."

"Right I knew that."

Linda put her hand up, "in all honestly I forgot that I was married to Hidan."

"Really?" Sasuke asked not believing her. "The constant Wifey jokes didn't make you remember?"

Hidan snorted, "I actually forgot that nickname… but thanks for the reminder." Linda groaned not amused that she has to deal with the Wifey jokes until this afternoon.

"Actually, I think everyone forgot that they were engaged," Ana admitted, "except for the ring on our fingers. But beside that, it's not really important."

Deidara grumbled, "you're acting like you _don't_ want a divorce. However, I would gladly get one. Right, Itachi?" Itachi nodded and continued sipping his hot chocolate.

"Look," Konan began, "all we have to do is go in, sign some stuff, and maybe go out to eat. Does that sound good?"

I nodded my head like a little dog. "Let's go to an italian restaurant that I've been meaning to go!"

Ana sighed, "pasta?"

"YEAH!"

"How about we go to a bar?" Hidan suggest.

"I like that idea," Kisame smiled.

My face dropped, "okay…wait. We can't enter we're underage."

Pein snorted, "since when has age ever stopped us?" I nodded.

Sasuke sighed, "just don't drink to much or we'll just end up marrying someone different."

Deidara laughed, "please, I'll be drinking with joy once I get to remove this ring."

It took a while, but we're finally able to get a divorce. Although it was fun making husband jokes with Sasori. But hey, I can do that with someone else!

* * *

Linda spinned in the chair while we all waited for Jeffery to get in. He's the guy that is divorcing us. I gripped the chair handle forcing myself to keep my eyes open. Itachi and I are doing a staring contest and I know what you're thinking. I won't win cuz he has the sharingan, but it's all about believing in yourself.

"Damn it!" I brushed the tear down my face. Itachi snickered and continued reading going back to his emotionless self.

The door open and a man with a white beard and lose suit walked in. "Oh… it's the group," he gulped.

All of us smirked and waved. "Hello~" He walked briskly to his desk and sat down pulling his glasses on and reading our file. "S–so who's first?"

Hidan pulled Linda off the chair in the corner and sat her down on the chairs up front. "That would be us–hurry the fuck up!"

Jeffrey shivered and scribbled a couple things before handing the two a piece of paper. Linda carefully traced her name before handing it off to Hidan who scribbled it on. "Well, you two are officially divorced. Next?"

Ana and Sasuke went. After that I got up from the couch and made Sasori sit by me. "Good thing we won't be legally together, or else I'd be cheating," I joked.

Sasori frowned not understanding my joke.

"I've said too much." Ana and Linda giggled in the background perfectly understanding what I meant. Sasori rolled his eyes and signed his name to get rid of me faster. I signed and got up letting Deidara sit.

"Okay, so now the one with the ripped marriage paper," Jeffery noted as he held the taped up paper that Tobi tried fixing. "I did my best and the only way to help you if you resign a marriage paper so I can properly divorce the two of you."

Both Itachi and Deidara's eye twitched. They shook in anger but had no other choice. They signed and glared at one another with so much hatred.

"Do you think they'll fall in love cuz they're married?" Kisame whispered.

"This isn't some fanfiction, Kisame," Linda rolled her eyes. Sasuke however shivered in disgust.

* * *

"You know?" Deidara slammed the third shot glass on the counter. "I was going to drink in happiness."

"Now you're drinking the pain away," Kakuzu snorted in delight.

I shook my head and turned my back away from him. "So Konan, you were saying."

"I was just saying that I didn't know you had a boyfriend," she looked down at her cup.

I shrugged, "I'm not exactly going to tell the whole Akatsuki."

"That's what surprises me."

Linda laughed and patted her head, "I think what you mean is how anyone is able to date Max."

"Watch it, don't speak so freely," I reminded Linda. Her smile dropped and she sunk in her seat giving me a grumpy look.

Sasori continued pouring more alcohol into Deidara's cup. "What are you doing?" Ana asked.

"I'm hoping he'll pass out and stop whining."

She stared at him before turning around, "It's dangerous but there aren't any witnesses to save him."

Kisame leaned over the booth from the table over. "Remind me to show more respect to Pein."

"Why?" I asked.

He nod his head towards the counter where Pein was peacefully sipping his drink with three random people bowing at his feet, and the bartender shivering in the corner. "That."

"Cheers to Pein," I held my glass up, he was the one who got us in.

"And to being divorced," Hidan called.

"Money," Kakuzu added with his cup up. Mostly every held their drinks up. Of course there were two who didn't.

"Fuck you!" Deidara slurred. Itachi didn't say anything, he just glared at everyone secretly plotting our deaths.

* * *

 **I think I know how to make those awesome anime amv**

 **I watched two sped up Bee movie videos. Um… Why?**


	69. Are You Serious!

**Day 4: Tomorrow! A full year!**

 **Max: Hey… it's chapter… 69.**

 **Ana: Students… turn to page… 69**

 **Max: What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold onto your nuts this ain't no ordinary blowjob.**

 **Hidan: 69% of people find something dirty in a sentence.**

 **Max: …**

 **Ana !**

 **Max: Oh my god!**

 **Ana: Oh my god how did you get here!?**

 **Hidan: wha– Oh Jashin how the hell did I get here!?**

 **Linda: You aren't allowed here, only OC's!**

 **Max: Oh God!**

 **Ana: Oh God!**

 **Hidan: Jashin!**

 **Linda: OH MY!**

 **Max: AHHHH!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Little childish. Hope you enjoy.**

 **PS. Forgot to mention it but last chapter was the end of the Cabin Ark.**

 **Part 3: Mansion Ark.**

* * *

 **Ana**

 _I hate him. I Hate Deidara. I hate Deidara so much. I hate Goldilocks that I'm prepared to kill him. Not only did he do the only thing he wasn't allowed to do. But he woke me up. HE woke ME up! I am the first person to wake up so I can begin breakfast. I hate him. I HATE DEIDARA!_

I threw the covers off me and swung my legs over the edge of the bed to get up. I walked out and followed the screaming and cursing from downstairs. Nearly everyone was already up by the volume of yelling and talking. I turned left at the end of the stairs and felt my entire weight go to my feet. Kisame, the closest to me, looked down and raised an eyebrow.

"What is it?" he answered to my mental call.

"Where is our living room?"

"Exploded."

"H–How?" my teeth chattered as I grew colder.

"Who do you think," Kisame growled.

To the side Pein trembled with anger as Deidara cowered in front with a sheepish smile.

"It isn't _that_ bad…"

Pein put his hand out to prepare his almighty push. "Not that bad? Not only did you blow the living room, and dining room up. But you damaged most of the rooms!"

I huffed and stomped over to the brat, grabbing him by the ear. "You are going to pay for this."

Max walked over and grabbed Goldilocks by the collar. "You broke the only rule you had to follow!"

"Not Blowing Things Up!" Everyone recited.

"Oh fuck you," he hissed.

Max sighed and let him go. "Well, that doesn't matter right now."

"You are aware that we're standing outside in the middle of Winter right?" Kakuzu asked giving her a dirty look.

Max gave a chuckle from her throat before continuing. "Well… we do have a place to stay…"

Tobi gasped, "are we going back to the first house?"

She shook her head, "no, but there is another."

I tilted my head and released Goldilocks' ear. "Do you mean we're moving into another house?" Max nodded her head. Pein sighed and call for all of us to circle around for a very quick meeting.

"Due to some… inconvenience. We are all forced to move out as it will be cheaper than repairing damages. We will pack up and follow Max to where our new house is. Ana, just bring as much food so you can make breakfast at the other house." I nodded my head. "Kakuzu, I want you be in charge of sealing the boxes and suit cases. Everyone else, help pack and bring it back down here. Dismiss."

A loud 'yes leader' echoed as everyone began to go straight to what they were ordered to do. I glared at Goldilocks one last time before going to the storage room to grab some boxes. I head back to the kitchen to start getting the food and dishes.

* * *

"That's all of it," I groaned dropping the box at Kakuzu's feet. He tossed it on the scroll allowing it to suck it up. Pein walked over rolling a scroll and slipping it in his cloak.

"If everyone ready?" He scanned at all of us. "Max, for once, lead the way."

She laughed and wrapped her scarf around her neck. "This isn't the first time I've led the way." Max walked to the Volkswagen and started the engine. I got in after Linda taking my usual seat. The rest slipped in, complaining as to why Sasori is in the front. Max plugged her iPod in and put it on shuffle.

" _Don't wanna be an American idiot. Don't want a nation under the new media…"_

"On word, Akatsuki," Linda chanted. Max put the van in drive and began heading towards the white unknown land. I sighed and slouched in my seat. I just hope the kitchen is a good size.

After about ten minutes of driving Max announced that we should be very close to seeing the house. She asked us to keep our eyes open as the house can blend in well. I looked around feeling a little anxious, when Kisame called out:

"Is it that right there?" At once we all looked to the left, mouths dropping in shock. This… isn't a house. This is a mansion!

Max pulled to the front and stopped, unlocking the van to let us out. The mansion itself was wide and tall. It had two large pillars on the side of the doors. Dead cold bushes were aligned across the walls, two fancy lights on the side of the four long windows. Max walked to the front door and turned around with a sheepish smile.

"I need to tell you guys something." we kept quiet and listened. "Truth is that this was suppose to be our second house, and the cabin was suppose to be the third one."

"What?!" Sasuke yelled, "I shared a room with you!" The akatsuki members groaned and began booing.

"Yeah…" she rubbed the back of her neck. "Sorry about that. The cabin was smaller for a punishment if we destroyed the mansion. Hehe sorry." Max laughed softly.

"Your sense of direction is terrible," Itachi stated.

"Agree," Zetsu said in disappointment.

I rolled my eyes and hit her on the forehead. "Just open up it's cold."

"Right," Max got a key out and unlocked the front door.

Inside was a big space, everything was white minus the furniture and the bedroom doors. The living room only a couple steps away. Facing towards us was a long beige couch, to the right was another couch that sat four people, to the left was a couch for one. Both were a soft blue white color. In the middle was a wooden coffee table and a stand that held a big flat screen. Still standing at the front door–to the left was a wall that had two doors far apart. The first door was white, I walked towards it and pushed the Bi–swing door open. My eyes widen and my heart fluttered. It was the kitchen… the most beautiful kitchen that I've ever seen. The countertops were marble, there was a double deck oven, and a fridge with a lot of space. It was gray and that was perfectly okay.

Linda dragged me to the small double hinged door to where it led to the dining room. Which I'm guessing is the second door after the kitchen. The dining room had a long wide table with enough space for seats and personal space. In the very back was a glass shelf that had fancy alcohol and cups to serve. My mouth moved soundlessly as Max smirked in amusement.

"Tobi wants to see his bedroom!" Tobi jumped in excitement.

"Yeah, it's almost praying time," Hidan rushed.

"Okay, Okay, let me just show you guys something first," Max skipped happily out letting having the rest of us follow.

The stairs were wide, and the higher it got the length shortened before joining into the second floor. It was very open, the walls stopped once reaching the railing of the floor. Once on the top, there were navy blue doors on the wall upfront. However, instead of a straight hallway, it curved. (Kinda like the Hokage office in Naruto). The doors were very separated. All of them looked the same minus the door that Max was standing in front of. This one had a gold door knob with a long backplate.

Max opened it revealing a truly breath taking view. From the start it had metal floating (not literally) stairways that would circle down to the floor. All of it was glossy wood, the shelves, the floor, even the long ceiling fans. There were paintings on the other side, and four black table desk underneath. This whole big room was a circle.

"What are the shelves for?" Linda looked around.

"Kakuzu can you open the book scroll?" Max asked.

He grumbled to himself but complied. Once the scroll opened all the books flew out and placed themselves onto the shelves. Including the ninja scrolls that Pein and the rest of the Akatsuki use.

After that show, we all went to pick our rooms. Each room had their very own bathroom. Which is relieving since Linda hates to clean, I hope this forces her to. To the right of the library room is Pein's room, then Konan's, mine, Linda, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi, Zetsu, Goldilocks, Sasori, Max, Itachi, finally Kisame.

* * *

"Remind me to never question you with our money," I say over my shoulder to Max as I stir the hot chocolate in the pot.

Kakuzu stomped in with a scowl. "Remind me to never let you touch our money."

"Loosen up, Kakuzu," Linda gave him a pat on the back. Which she immediately regretted as he shot her a dirty look, making her feel small. Well, smaller than usual.

"Just let yourself be spoiled," Max smiled. He growled before walking out the kitchen. Soon Pein walked in with Konan following behind.

"Max, I must say that you've impressed all of us." he politely acknowledged.

"Yes, especially the structure and library," Konan smiled.

"Stop…" Max blushed, "okay keep going."

"No."

Pein walked out with Konan following, but not with out yelling at me that his hot chocolate better be done in five minutes. I mumbled under my breath but stopped. At least I can spend more time in this lovely room.

"Hey, Ana?" Linda shyly called.

"What?"

"If I pay you, will you clean my room?"

"NO."

"Aw barnacles," she mumbled in disappointment.

"Shit," Max said, "if it's money I'd gladly clean it!"

"Great!"

"No," I glared at the two. They huffed and sunk in the two stools by the counter.

* * *

 **I'm thinking about watching Pinocchio after this. I hope it's on netflix.**

 **By the way…I hope that everyone reviews. Oooh put a dirty/69 joke in the Reviews! I'd love to read them!**


	70. Come clean

**Tomorrow! 25th!**

 **Happy Thanksgiving!**

 **Max: Happy Thanksgiving!**

 **Linda: What are you thankful for. I'm thankful for Pein who forced Deidara to buy me a new pig.**

 **Max: …**

 **Ana: I guess I'm thankful for my friends. They provide entertainment.**

 **Max: And a kitchen.**

 **Ana: Yes. A kitchen.**

 **Max: Hmmm? The Internet. You find the whole world in such fun** _ **and**_ **disappointing ways!**

 **Linda: Not exactly how it works…But okay!**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **This year will actually be better than last year's thanksgiving.**

* * *

 **Linda**

Sasuke continued scribbling answers in the crossword booklet. Hoping it'll pass time.

"Sasuke," I yawn rubbing my eye. "Are you sleepy like I am?"

He looked up and frowned at me. "It's four in the afternoon."

I shrugged, "I'm sleepy for some reason. Hey, Kisame?"

Kisame looked up from reading the newspaper on a different couch. "What is it?"

"I'm sleepy," I repeated.

He folded the newspaper in half. "Well, you can take your shoes off and nap on the couch. Or–go to that place called a room where you–sleep." He rolled his eyes and went back to reading.

I sighed and leaned back on the couch. "I'm done," Sasuke said handing me his booklet. I open the last page and scanned through it.

"You only missed number five," I said handing it back to him. Sasuke and I have a routine of when we finish we check each other's work. We mostly get all of them correct but if we do get some wrong it's only one or two.

"I was hoping Max would take me to the store to buy some more crossword problems." I tossed the finished three on the coffee table.

"You know–" I turned around to find Sasori standing by the couch. "Despite you being pretty dumb, because face it you are a lot of times. You're quite intelligent when it comes to these kinds of things."

"And _just_ these puzzles," Sasuke stressed.

I glared at him, which went unaffected, before looking back up at Sasori. "Thank you, but I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"I'm sleepy."

Sasori walked away feeling he's had enough of me. I frown, "that's weird, Kisame. Sasori went to the kitchen?"

Kisame sighed not looking up, "and how is that weird?"

"He's in the kitchen and he doesn't eat." He set the paper down in confusion.

In the background, a loud stomping of footsteps grew closer. "Linda!"

I jumped startled and looked up at Max. She was in a long sleeve maroon dress with black tights. "What is it?"

"Have you seen a car or heard a knock by any chance!" She panted.

I shook my head. "Why?" Kisame asked curiously.

Max twirled her hair a bit. "I thought I was running late for a date."

Now that she mentions it, I might have a chance to see him. I've never seen this Daniel boy. An idea blooms. "Max, what if you invite Daniel for dinner?!" My excitement makes my sleepiness fade.

Kisame and her glanced at each other before going into a laughing fit. "Why would I _ever_ bring a boy near the Akatsuki!?" Max laughed holding her sides.

I pouted, "c'mon we should see him, we're all friends."

"How about–no."

The doorbell ringed and Max quickly walked over, putting on the boots she had with her. I held my breath as the door opened. A boy with long blonde hair that barely reached shoulders loomed in the doorways. What a handsome young lad.

"Why don't you come on in," I called. He peeked in, noticing me.

"You must be one of Max's friends," he smiled. I got up and shook his hand.

"Yes!" Now to begin, "why don't you stay for dinner?"

Daniel looked a bit surprised at the sudden request, before looking at Max. "If it's alright with you?"

She shrugged, "it's up to you."

Daniel shrugged and smiled, "why not."

"Many reasons," Max mumbled to herself.

I smiled, "good. I bet Ana can make something real nice."

"What?"

I looked towards the top of the stairs where Ana is standing holding an open cook book. "Come and greet our guest," I called out. She closed the book with loud snap and got down, graceful walking to us.

"Ana," she stated with her hand out.

"Daniel." It took Ana a second before it registered who he was.

I gesture towards the big couch, "have seat please!"

As the two sat down, that's when it happened:

"This fucking towel is shit!"

I stiffened up. "Um, I'll be gone for a bit. By the way that's Kisame and Sasuke." I sprinted up the stairs making my way on the right. If I'd gone faster I wouldn't have stopped myself from face planting into Hidan. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back towards his room.

"What are you doing?" he asked taking his arm back.

"Inside," I order as I push him from the back. I closed the door to his room and look back at him. "Go shower, get rid of as much blood as you can."

Hidan crossed his arms and stared down at me. "What the hell are you doing thinking you can order me?"

I gave him an impatient look. "Please! We have a very special guest downstairs and it's best if we don't scare him away."

"Who is it?" Hidan asked as he began unbuttoning his cloak off.

I giggled, "Max's boyfriends."

Hidan smirked, "the boyfriend huh?" He sat at the end of his bed and began taking his shoes off.

"Don't you dare try anything," I warned making my way to him.

Hidan laughed and leaned back, "trust me, If I wanted to something then I would have done it." He got quiet, "although I could ask Itachi to do some psychological torturing."

"NO!"

"Alright," he pushed my face away and got up. "I'll go wipe the blood off."

I smiled and walked out. "Oh, I might sneak some ribs in if you behave." I whispered.

"You better!" Hidan called from the bathroom. I walked out and made my way to Kakuzu's room. I gave two big loud knocks before pecking my lips in.

"Kakuzu we have guest so could you be on your best behavior. Please and thank you."

I closed the door and walked towards the library. I closed the door behind me and yelled, "hey, Pein, Konan!" I waved to them. Walking down the spiral staircase, I jumped the last three steps and waved at the two again. "How are you–good! That's nice! Look we have a special guest I would appreciate it if you would be on your best behavior and are ready to lie at any moment."

Konan snickered, "okay."

Pein's eyebrows dipped, "what do you mean, special guest?"

I rubbed the back of my neck. "It's Max's boyfriend, I may have invited him over for dinner."

Pein rubbed the bridge of his nose while Konan smiled wider. "I've always wanted to see who this boy was."

Pein grumbled and stood up. "We'll finish this meeting later Konan," he walked away towards the stairs.

Konan and I giggled to ourselves.

* * *

"Why would you do that?" Deidara shook his head and moved one of his pawns.

I shrugged, and rubbed my knees from kneeling down for so long. "I don't know I just wanted to finally meet the boy."

"I'm sure Max had perfectly good reason for not introducing us to him," Itachi reasoned as he moved one of his own pawns. The three of us were kneeling down on Itachi's floor playing a game of chess. Well, those two were, I'm just watching.

"Whatever, just make sure that you're on your best behavior–so no blowing him or things up," I glared at Deidara.

"Shut up," he hissed quietly.

"By the way," I pointed at the piece of paper on the floor. "What's that?"

Itachi's lip tugged up, "just a little plan."

I made a face, "if you two are planning revenge than Pein is going to get even more mad."

Deidara and Itachi slowly turned their heads to me sending shivers down my back. "Who says we haven't already got revenge. And no one has noticed.

I blinked, "anyways, just be good." I got up and turned the doorknob, "Oh yeah don't–" My eyes widen. "W–where did they go?" I ran out in fear and reached the top of the stairway noticing that everyone was downstairs talking.

I cleared my throat and quickly walked down and hid behind Ana. She turned her head and raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"What are we having for dinner?" my words muffled into Ana's shirt.

"Pasta, come on I have to make sure they don't burn."

I followed Ana into the kitchen and took a seat. I watched as she took the pot off the stove and drained the water into a pasta strainer. "So what's with the long look?"

"I think Deidara and Itachi are plotting something evil."

"Why do you say that?"

I screamed and turned around to find Kisame standing behind me. "Don't Scare Me!"

He waved it off, "whatever, come out to the living room things are starting to get awkward."

I saluted Kisame, "I'm good in awkward situations!"

Ana snorted, "right."

I glared at her, "what is that supposed to mean."

"Linda, you threw up once cuz it got so awkward between you and Max once when–"

"Okay!" I yelled, "I get it I threw up and now I'm not good at awkward situations!" I jumped off the stool and marched out into the livingroom. Mostly everyone's eyes turned toward me.

"It's Linda–chan!" Tobi waved happily at me. "What was I saying–oh right. So Mr. Snuffles was the cutest squirrel… until he got blown up by someone…"

"How about we go into the dinning room, food should be close to done," I suggested leading everyone. Everyone was entering when Zetsu, Hidan, and Deidara stopped me.

"So what's the plan?"

"We go lie in the direction that Max is lying in."

They nodded and pushed me into the dinning room, taking their seats. Ana came in with the last four plates and set them down in front of Pein, Konan, Max and Daniel.

"Smells good," Daniel sniffed the plate. Ana replied a thank you and sat down to eat.

At first it was quiet, but soon I began talking to those around me. Ana and Sasori. "That cat was just the fatest, but the puppy still beat it in the fat competition."

"Speaking of cats," Daniel said to Max, "how is yours?"

"Juuzou? He's doing better."

"When did Juuzou get sick?!" I asked loudly.

"Around two days ago."

I gave her a sympathetic nod. "I would have noticed but we've been having a to deal with quite a handful." I looked down the table near Itachi.

"Fuck you," Deidara said with the cup covering his mouth. "All of you can burn in–"

"Senpai!" Tobi gapsed.

"You shouldn't talk like that at the dinner table with guest," white Zetsu lectured. Black Zetsu snorted. " **Shut it, Cocksuker, you eat people at the table.** "

"Um," Daniel said uncomfortable.

Konan quickly reacted with, "he has split personality disorder, don't worry about it too much."

Ana intensely pointed her finger at Zetsu. "See, Max, black Zetsu does call white Zetsu a cocksuker!"

Max looked up from her pasta confused, "what I didn't hear anything." which caused Ana to growl and continue eating.

"So," Kisame spoke, "do you have a job?"

"Yes," Daniel nodded.

"What are your religious beliefs?"

"What do you think of teddy bears."

"What is your definition of art."

"What do you think of pain?"

"What do you think of Pein?"

"Do you cook?"

"Have you ever tried eating a person?"

"What is your opinion on dangos."

"Do you think crossword puzzles are hard?" I asked.

"Have you ever tried adult crossword puzzles?" Sasuke ended with.

Max dragged her hand down her face in embarrassment and slumped farther down her chair. Daniel looked at everyone in surprise and began to laugh. "That sure is a lot of questions. Let's see; Atheist–"

"Heathen," Hidan side commented.

"Cute, acting, hurtful, don't know the difference from the previous question. Some of the times, no, don't know what that is, no, yes–only if we're talking about the perverted ones." Daniel smirked.

Everyone nodded, content that they at least got their questions answered. After dinner Max and Daniel left to go catch a movie, leaving us with the dishes.

"I like him, he seems nice," I blew on the rim of the mug before siping it. "Daniel seems like a pretty decent match for Max as the two have similar attitudes."

The Akatsuki stared at me like I was some weird exhibit.

"That is a very smart thing of you to say?" Ana raised her eyebrow. I pushed her–careful not to spill any hot chocolate.

"Whatever, as long as he isn't a rude dick I'm fine," Hidan shrugged. The others nodded and agreed with his statement.

That's right, I need to find a way to get some ribs for Hidan. Who said I _need_ to sneak them in. "Ana can I add ribs to the menu next week?"

She frowned down at me. "I thought you didn't like pig product.?"

"Yeah–way to be discreet?" Hidan rolled his eyes. I shrugged, he gets ribs in the end so it's shouldn't matter.

* * *

 **Enjoy your holiday. So get off this site and go hang with family and friends you little dang–a lang. Hehe.**


	71. Caller ID

**It's been a whole year since I started Akatsuki Corporation!**

 **It seems like not that long ago I was sitting in my old, smaller room freaking out cuz I actually posted a story. Man I'm such a weenie.**

 **I want to thank those who've favorited this story, or are following along. And thank you to those who have reviewed. (Really appreciate more. I'm a greedy Review person). I hope you continue following my characters with the Akatsuki (even if there have been bad chapters).**

 **Again, Thank you so much. I'm very grateful**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

There was once a man–a God. He was known for knowing all. Or he should know everything, he runs the most notorious feared group. So _if_ he's so powerful, than he muster never make a mistake correct?

* * *

 **Max**

I whistled a happy tune as I walked through the the front door of the house. "Hey," I greeted Ana who was sitting with a deck of cards.

"Where were you?" She asked putting some cards down.

I turned and closed the door tight. "I went to my art class."

"What!?" Deidara was holding a cup of water. The expression he had looked as if I just told him I happily killed his puppy. "How could you go out and have someone else teach you their pathetic views when you have a God artist right here!"

"Wait, Deidara," I called out as he stomped back into the kitchen. My phone began vibrating in my pocket.

"Want to play?" Ana asked holding the cards up.

I nodded and grabbed my phone pressing the answer button. "Hello?"

"Maxine Chavez Where Have You Been Young Lady!?"

I felt all the blood in my body drain. Leaving me cold and shivering, my mouth moving soundlessly. "Are you okay?" Ana asked concerned.

My throat began closing. I hanged up and threw my phone towards the couch–leaving my hands shaking.

The door up stairs opened and Pein walked out. "Akatsuki, I need to call an emergency meeting that is very important!"

"YOU!" I screamed at Pein. "You messed with it, didn't you?!"

Pein stopped at the staircase and stared at me. "So you know, but how?"

"I got a FUCKING phone call!"

Linda walked down with Kisame, both holding stuffed animal. "What's going on?" her voice shaked.

"Why would you mess with that jutsu!?" I hissed at Pein. Everyone looked between Pein and I in confusion.

"What's happening?" Ana asked again.

"Pein here, messed with the jutsu that makes our parents forget we exist!"

Everything grew quiet as the Akatsuki began to slowly panic.

"Why?" Konan asked looking over at Pein.

He narrowed his eyes a bit. "I was looking through some scrolls when I came across that one. As I read through it I thought Itachi accidently mis used a symbol, when I "corrected" it, it self destructed."

"Heh, leader messed up," Kisame chuckled to himself.

I raked my hands through my hair. "SINCE WHEN DOES ITACHI MAKE A MISTAKE?!"

"I can see that now! So stop yelling." Pein snapped.

"Oh no!" Tobi sobbed, "I don't want Max–chan, Linda–chan, and Ana–chan to leave!"

"What do we do?" Deidara asked frantically. At that moment Ana's phone began to vibrate on the coffee table. I watched as she gulped and slowly made her way over.

"H–hello?" she winced and pulled the phone away from her ear. After a minute she said okay and hanged up. "It was my mom."

"What did she say?" Sasuke asked.

"She demands that we be home this instant."

I rubbed my hands and walked around. Think, think! "Okay I have a plan. We have to go over, do the jutsu again and come back. Deidara, you're going to have to make chakra birds to get us there as fast as we can. It'll take an hour in the Volkswagen."

"We're only an hour away from our old house?" Linda said in surprise.

"I'll use my summoning hawk so Deidara can use more chakra to go faster," Sasuke suggested.

"Good idea, let me say bye to Juuzou and fill his bowls, grab some coats, before we leave." I said walking to the bedrooms.

I made it back outside to find that everyone was already on a bird.

Sasuke put his hand down to me, "come on, it's a tight squeeze but my hawk can manage." I took his hand and uncomfortably sat next to him. I continued squirming around holding on to Sasuke.

"Quit climbing on top of me," He snapped.

"She's afraid of birds," Ana called out, "real birds."

"Are you kidding me," Sasuke looked down at me.

"No," Linda shook her head, "big, small, old, young. Max is afraid of all of them," she said adding fuel to the fire.

Sasuke sighed and put an arm over my shoulders. "Just stop climbing on top of me!"

"N–no promises," I shivered at the way the eyes on the bird looked.

Deidara stood up and pointed ahead. "Let's go!"

* * *

"Please for the love of God, Pain, Jashin, get me down!" I shouted in a panic. I tried hard to sit in Sasuke's lap but he'd push me off because of my nail digging.

"Sasuke just pick her up or something!" Kakuzu said annoyed at my whining. He continued his argument with Hidan about something–I don't care!

Sasuke scowled and swooped down carrying me bridal style. I clinged onto him as if it was my life. Because it is!

"Why can't you just switch with Ana?" he mumbled.

"That wouldn't do." Linda and Ana's bird came to the side of ours. "Because a bird chasing you wouldn't help her."

"We're landing very soon," Deidara called over his shoulder.

As we landed and got off I glared back at Sasuke. "Get rid of it."

"Cawww!" the bird cawed loudly next to me. I shrieked and threw myself onto Pein.

I lifted my head up once Sasuke released the jutsu. My house, it looked exactly how I left it. I looked back over at Itachi. "Go find somewhere you can focus so you can make another scroll, we'll just have to stall."

Ana, Linda, and I slowly walked up the steps with the Akatsuki following behind. Ana shook a bit as she turned the doorknob and entered the house. I scanned the living room and my eyes fell upon the kitchen. My heart began to beat so fast I almost couldn't hear anything.

"Maxine Chavez," an all too familiar voice snapped. "Where have you, Ana, and Linda been?!" Her eyes scanned the background at the people behind me.

I was too lost at words to say anything.

"It was Orochimaru!" Linda snapped, "he came back and tried to kill the Akatsuki so we chased him away down a field where they began to battle to the death killing the dude and saving Sasuke once again from the pedophile!" she gasped. Why does she keep blaming Orochimaru?

Susan stood up from the table and slowly walked over. Her heels clicked the floor below creating tension. "Are you lying?" she said looming over Linda.

"NO."

"So you're telling me the truth?"

"Y–yes ma'am."

Susan walked back to where my parents were standing. Walking down the stairs, Diego looked at all of us. "Jeez, you've been gone for two hours."

"Two… hours?" I repeated.

Pein stepped closer. "My apologies to any inconvenience, I can assure the three of you that this won't happen again." he bowed and looked them straight in the eyes.

The three of them didn't say anything as they know somehow that Pein was of a much higher rank. "Let's just make something to eat," My father suggest walking back into the kitchen.

"Oh," my mother half turned and glared at me, "we'll finish this later, Maxine."

Man, she must really be mad at me! Hidan snickered and whispered to the three, "you're such a little bitch." We flicked him off. The front door swung open giving me hope. Yes, Itachi must be done–

"My family, it's nice to see you again!" the voice cheered.

I snapped my head towards the entrance. "Lucas?!"

"Max!"

"Lucas!?"

"Diego!"

"Lucas!?"

"The parent's!"

Father heavily sighed, "what are you doing here, you were here three weeks ago for winter break?"

Lucas chuckled running a hand through his hair, "I just needed a break… again." He threw his bag on the floor and walked over to me. "So what's new?"

"She's in trouble," Diego smiled, "poor… Maxine."

Lucas laughed and threw an arm over my shoulder. "That bad?" he laughed and finally looked at the Akatsuki. "Ah, the boyfriends."

Linda laughed, "but that would be cheating!"

"Don't get it, but I can see it's funny!"

"I can see the Chavez kids are back," Ana said in amusement. I glared at her and took a seat on the couch. What a bad day this is.

"So, has anything fishy happened to old man Johnson," Lucas glowered in distaste. He's the next door neighbor that Lucas hates, and Johnson hates Lucas back.

I leaned and whispered to Diego, "he does know old man Johnson died last year right?"

"I wouldn't tell him that now."

"Hey, dad," Lucas called. "What been going on with old man Johnson."

"Hates you as usual."

Lucas dreamingly sighed, "I hate him too." I rolled my eyes.

After dinner, I was asked by my mother to join her and my father to their room. I gave a salute to the Akatsuki before walking up the stairs. The two were sitting on a couch waiting. I closed the door and looked back at the two.

"Max, I've been doing some research on your friends," she began, "tell me the truth, are they terrorist back in "their" world?"

I dragged the tip of my shoes on the floor. "I prefer to call them criminals, or main villains. Missing nin can also work."

Mother stood up, "Max, these people are dangerous, they've been living here for a long time! Who knows what can happen."

"Hey, they're my friends I don't think they'll do anything."

"You just disappeared for two hours, what that is, is kidnapping! I don't want these people here anymore!"

"What?!"

"Max," My father warned my tone and volume.

"But that's not fair they're my friends, Mom!" the word rolled off feeling foreign to my mouth.

"Well I want _my child_ safe. You live under my roof!" she snapped.

I growled, "I'd rather go with them then–!"

I felt the hairs on my body stand. My first reaction was to touch my face, but I went against it.

"I'm sorry, but I couldn't allow you to talk more nonsense." My mother's expression slowly soften. "Max," she put her her hand on my shoulders, "I just want you to be safe. I don't want anything to happen to you, weather we know them or not." she caressed my sore cheek. Mother pulled me into a hug kissing the top of my head. "Please, don't go running off like that…"

"I'm sorry…" I mumbled softly.

My father pulled me into a hug and whispered, "just helped them get back home okay?"

I closed the door behind me and walked down the hallway. I stopped and stared at a photo hidden in the corner where only the shadow touched it. "Max…"

I put my coat on and walked out. "Hey," I said surprised to find Ana and Linda sitting outside. I sat between them and stared straight ahead.

We remained quiet until Ana spoke up, "lectures suck."

I laughed, "yeah…I know why I'm so good at manipulating people. My mom can sure guilt trip… why so quiet?" I teased Linda.

"Do you guys even want to do the jutsu again?" We didn't say anything.

"We've had some good times with the Akatsuki," Ana smiled.

Itachi walked over with a scroll in his hand. "It's ready."

The girls turned back to look at me, waiting for me to make the call. I stood feeling a sense of determination. "We're going to continue having good moments with the Akatsuki! I didn't raise an empire/corporation for nothing!" I stomped back into the living room calling everyone down.

"What is it?" Susan asked taking a seat.

"Hit it Itachi!" I laughed.

"She's going mental again," Sasori muttered.

Itachi did multiple hand signs. "Mind Erase Jutsu." I tint of white and pink light blasted through the house. I closed my eyes with my hands...

"I'm going to take a taxi," I called walking outside. "I'm not going anywhere near a bird!"

"But it's an hour drive," Linda tried persuading me.

"I don't care!" I gasped as Hidan picked me up and handed me off to Itachi.

"Do that gay crow thing you always do!" he demanded in excitement.

I began pleading at Itachi, "please don't do it!" I cried, "I'll, I'll…" I took a deep breath and stared directly into Itachi's beautiful orbs. "I'll make you feel good."

He dropped me to the ground and walked away. Ouch, I got up and began heading to the clay birds. Sasuke decided not to summon his bird as we didn't need to. I stopped and looked back at the house feeling my heart warm.

"Bye.."

* * *

 **Sorry for the late post!**

 **I'm sick… I think I'm going to bed. Night, Night.**


	72. The Antique Shop

**Max: I'm so sad… we've been gone for what, two weeks? Sigh.**

 **Ana: Yeah.**

 **Linda: Oh well.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE (I don't like this chapter… but then again, I do).**

 **Thank you , SolLunaTerrax1 and VierasXx, for following and favoriting the story. (slip a review… *wink wink*)**

 **Let's get less realistic.**

 **Let's get** –

 **Weirder!**

* * *

 **Ana**

Sasori picked up another figurine before setting it down, creating the cycle of touching but not buying. Tobi hugged himself doing his best not to touch or break anything. Or else he'll really get it.

"You… come here often?" Max smirked.

"Meow."

"Don't cats know when their owner have been associating with other animals?" Linda said a bit worried. Max stepped away from the shop keepers cat and headed over to me.

"I'm not cheating," was all she said before walking to where Goldilocks and Itachi were arguing over some board game.

The owners grandchild walked over to me. "Miss?"

I looked down at him. "What?" he blushed and pointed at the trio, "yeah?"

"Who are they?" he asked still staring at Itachi, Goldilocks, and Max. "Do they always fight?"

"Yes, yes they do."

The owner walked up to me. "It's sad to see friends fight."

I snorted, "yeah sure."

The old lady tapped her chin before raising her hand up. The ring on her pinky finger began to glow. "Don't you think people begin to understand each other when they live in their shoes?"

I tensed up as a glitter substance began to surround her hand. It shot out heading to the direction of the three. Last minute without knowing, Max stepped between Goldilocks and Itachi, happily showing them a snowglobe with a cat inside. The glitter striked hitting her and Itachi….the two blinked. The snow globe fell to the ground shattering into millions of pieces. Max and Itachi followed, they wobbled before falling to the ground.

Goldilocks caught Max just before she fell on the glass shards, of course he let didn't bother with Itachi and just let him fall like a pancake.

"What did you do?" Pein walked out from one of the hidden shelves by the back. "He's the only member that does what I say." Kisame, Hidan, and Goldilocks flipped him off.

"I tried getting the boy but the girl stepped in the way," the lady carelessly shrugged, "oh well, I recommend that you go home before they wake up."

I looked over at an unconscious Itachi and Max. It's best to leave before we make matters worse and begin a brawl.

"Let's go," I say turning my heel and heading toward the shop door.

"We'll come back and deal with you personally," Konan gave the old lady her signature glare. She took Max from Goldilocks exciting out.

Linda let a slow whistle out. "She's so cool!"

"Duh, everyone knows that," Kisame gave a snide remark.

"Just like that we're leaving?" Hidan genuinely question.

Sasori sighed and shrugged, "it appears so."

Kisame reached down and pulled Itachi up and on his shoulders. "Let's go candy addict." he laughed and walked out the store.

As I was the last one out, the door slammed putting the close sign on. My breath was showing in the cold air. Man this is going to be a drag.

"Deidara," Pein snapped, "get a bird, we obviously can't get in that thing… unless." He looked back over at me.

I shook my head and chuckled a bit. "Trust me, she wouldn't even let me get near the driver's seat."

He nodded and looked back over at Goldilocks. "Well, that stupid clay isn't going to make itself." Goldilocks glowed at him before shoving his hands into his pockets.

* * *

I slipped the key in and turned the doorknob letting everyone inside. Konan and Kisame set the two down head to head on the bigger couch. Hidan began bouncing up and down.

"Let's draw on their faces!"

Kisame looked from Itachi to Hidan. "Um… don't you remember when Tobi tried?"

Tobi shivered, "I don't want to remember…"

Linda walked over and peered down at them. "They look so peaceful," she smiled at them. "We should dump water on them," she looked back at us.

Before we made a decision, two pair of long lashed eyes opened up. Max and Itachi slowly woke up, blinking and staring straight ahead.

"Welcome to the year 2050," I greeted them.

Linda looked over her shoulder, "but it's 2017?"

I rubbed the bridge of my nose and ignored her. "You two okay?" I asked moving to the couch.

The two sat up rubbing their heads. "My body hurts," Itachi muttered. Max didn't say anything and remained quiet.

"Well Itachi, you did fall straight to the ground," Kisame joked.

Itachi lifted his head from his hands looking at us. "What?"

I gulped, "to be honest Goldilocks was the one who let you fall!"

"No, why did you call me Itachi?"

We remained silent before Black Zetsu spoke up. " **What, you want us to call you third leader?** " He sassed.

Max looked over at Itachi… he looked back at her. The two stared in horror before jumping to their feet.

"WHAT!?" They screamed, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BODY!?" they grabbed onto each other in hysteria.

"Who else is confused?" We all raised our hands to Kakuzu's question.

Max and Itachi or Itachi–Max, continued babbling and pointing at each other. It wasn't until Pein that they finally calmed down.

"That witch," Itachi hissed with Max's mouth. This is just weird to explain.

"Let me get this straight," I began, "you two switched bodies correct?"

They nodded. Hidan and I glanced at each other and began laughing. "It's not funny," Max snapped, it seems she's mastering Itachi's glare. Well, she already has a strong glare so I'm not that surprised.

Pein rubbed his temples and paced around. "Okay, we'll go see that witch to fix this."

"I want my body back!"

"I know, Itachi!"

Glare.

"… Max."

Itachi stood up and grabbed Max pulling her from away from us. He went up on his tiptoes and whispered. Max nodded, laughed, but soon trailed of in terror.

"Oh, honey, no," she said sadly.

"Don't say that!" Goldilocks put his hands to his ears. "That sounds so wrong for Uchiha to say, it's disgusting."

Max turned back to Itachi and took a deep breath putting her hands to his shoulder. (or his hands on her shoulder?) "I'm here to help you, even in such terrible time."

"Hey!" Linda snapped, "get his hands off your body!" she froze wondering if that made sense.

"Actually," Max looked back over at me. "Ana can help you while I go out and not pay for anything cuz I'm an attractive man."

Hidan laughed, "you know what's up!"

Itachi snatched his own wrist and glared at her. "It's your body, take responsibility!"

I walked over wondering what the two were arguing. "What is it now–"

"He has to be pee and it's that time." Max pulled me close. I shuddered feeling uncomfortable that Itachi's voice was the one saying these things.

"First, TMI. Second, you can deal with that yourself okay," I said walking away to the kitchen.

"C'mon! The babes are generous around this time!"

I grabbed the pillow and threw it at her… him? "Shut up and go… be Itachi or something."

She rolled her eyes and walked away following Itachi up the stairs. One of the bedroom doors opened and Sasuke walked out rubbing his eyes.

"Sup Sasgay," Max passed him and went into Itachi's room.

Sasuke stopped halfway down the staircase and looked back at them, then looked back down at me. "Explain."

I tiredly sighed, "we went early to this store that Max wanted to go and…"

"We met a witch," Linda smiled, "then she zapped Itachi and Max, and now they're in each others body."

Hidan and I snorted at the comment. "God you're so oblivious."

Sasuke stared at us, "this is too early for this."

I looked at the clock on my phone. Eight. I should probably make breakfast, but these people won't let me.

* * *

"No."

"But I could control people!"

"That's why I'm not telling you."

Itachi continued trying his best to read and ignore Max's pleads to showing her how to activate his sharingans.

"Will you knock it off, you're making me hate Itachi more than I could," Deidara growled, but stopped to think. "Hm, didn't think that was possible."

I rolled my eyes at his stupidity and placed a domino down. Linda tapped her chin and set a two and three side domino down. Sasori analyzed her move and placed his set.

"Plus," I said, "even if Itachi did tell you, I doubt you'd be able to actually activate it on your own."

She slumped in her seat boredly and began to pat her head and rub her belly. I returned my attention back to the game where Sasori was taking the lead. Pein walked down tossing a couple scroll to the empty seat.

"So, I've looked into all the jutsu that I know, and I know a lot," He bragged, "but I don't think any of them will work."

Itachi put his book away and got up. "So we're stuck like this?"

Deidara clamped his hand to his mouth trying his best to hold back his laughter. He still finds it funny that Itachi Uchiha is stuck in a 15 year old girl's body.

"Wait, why haven't we tried going back to the store?" Linda asked, she took a peak over at Sasori's pieces.

"Yeah!" Max got up.

Pein pointed to the smaller couch. "Where do you think Kisame and Konan have been?"

I looked over to see a black cloak and a blue balloon attached. "Tobi what are you doing?" I asked noticing the string was right behind the couch.

Tobi jumped up stomping his feet. "You don't know what I do, stop assuming!" He screamed and stomped away looking really pissed.

"Way to go, now the balloon is all the way up to the ceiling."

The front door opened and Konan and Kisame walked in.

"So?" Pein asked.

"This is just only for 24 hours," Kisame sat where balloon Kisame was.

"So until tomorrow, you're stuck like this," Konan broke the news to them. Itachi put his head into a pillow, Max just glared at the two.

"Just great, how can this possibly–" Max was interrupted by a phone ringing. Itachi got up and pulled it out of his pocket handing it to Max. She glanced at it and shrieked. "It's Daniel!"

"Then answer."

"Yes, let me answer my boyfriend with a deep sexy voice and not get asked if I'm cheating on him." Max glared at me. She watched it ring before tossing it to Itachi. "Repeat what I say."

"No."

"Do it!"

"I don't– Hello." Itachi answered last minute. Max held her ear to the phone, Itachi pushed her away and pressed speaker.

"Didn't think you'd answer anytime soon," Daniels voice chuckled through the speaker.

"Tell him that I was rehearsing my lines," Max whispered.

"I… was rehearsing." Itachi repeated into the phone.

"Put more enthusiasms!"

"You too, huh?" Daniel said a bit stressed. "Why don't we practice together?"

"I–I can't." Itachi awkwardly watched as Max shook her head like a wet dog.

"Why not?"

She frantically pointed at Linda. "Because…Linda is sick," Itachi recited. "That's bad…" pause, "why don't you just let one of your friends take care of her?"

I noticed that Hidan was now standing next to after being in the kitchen. "What are we babysitters?"

I shushed him and looked back over at Itachi struggling to read Max's words.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Okay, bye." He hanged up and handed the phone back.

"Just great."

"This will wear off soon," Konan reassure. "In the meantime just try to remain calm and not do anything."

Itachi nodded, "I have to agree with Konan–what are you doing?" Itachi stopped talking and turned his attention to Max who was doing a small dance.

"I have to use the bathroom."

Sasuke snorted, "doesn't that suck."

"Hold it," Itachi glared at her.

"No," she glared at him. Slowly a evil smile began to spread on her face like the grinch. "But I am curious to see what's between my legs."

Itachi's cheeks burned up (or Max's cheeks). "Keep your hands to yourself," he smacked her hand as she reached for the waistband of his pants.

Max skipped away happily. "I've always wanted to do something if I ever was a boy."

Itachi's eye twitched, "and that is?"

Max ripped the cloak off tossing it to the side and grabbed the sides of Itachi's shirt. "Walk around shirtless."

Linda coughed and held her nose. "Aren't you taking this a bit too far?" White Zetsu looked wearily at Linda.

"Plus," Hidan called, "girls can also go shirtless."

"But we need to be at least 18, in our house, and no bra," Max grumbled. "You men and your privileges."

"But if you want to continue than that's fine," Linda blushed.

"Pervert," Sasuke teased her, making Linda's face redder.

I decided to walk away and go into the kitchen. It's my quiet time.

After making some grilled chicken salad, and having the Akatsuki gorge themselves. It came for the hard part.

"Okay," Max began from the beginning. "I'm Max, that's my room over there. But I'm in Itachi's body, so should I sleep in Itachi's bed cuz it's his body, or?"

"Just go to bed," Linda yawned. She looked very tired at just wanted to go to bed.

"Okay but you're being vague right now. Do I go in my room or Itachi's?"

Oh my god, "just go to Itachi's bed then!" I snapped.

"But that's my room," Itachi said stubbornly.

"Then go to Max's!"

"But that's her room."

"That is my room."

I threw my hands up finally losing my patience. "Do as you please I'm going to bed. I crankly made my way to my room and locked the door. After brushing my teeth and hair and slipped into the covers to sleep. Those two can handle it I'm tired.

It was around the middle of the night when I heard screaming. I snapped my eyes open and jumped up running out. As I made it to the source of yelling, I noticed Linda was already standing outside the door. I soon realized that this was Itachi's room.

We swung the door open and saw Max and Itachi unconscious across the room. I ran over to Itachi and kneeled down shaking his body. "Max are you okay."

I turned as Itachi began to cough.

"Are you okay, Itachi?" LInda asked making her way over.

"What?" He frowned and looked down. "I'M BACK!" Max jumped up and hugged herself.

"That means…" I looked down noticing Itachi slowly waking up. He got up thanking me for helping him.

"We're back to our own bodies!" Max ran and glomped onto Itachi. "Yes!" Her laughter quickly trailed off and Itachi's body shaked a bit.

"What's up?" Max squeaked.

Itachi's eye twitched, "what was that about running around shirtless?"

Max awkwardly laughed, "you see that's–" she sprinted out the room in terror. Itachi slowly followed after, he stopped at the doorway and glared at Linda and I with his Sharingan.

I casually put my hands up in surrender. He turned and walked out.

"Well," Linda said walking out also, "we have to have sleep for a busy day."

I frowned, "what do you mean?"

"Well, this _is_ the Akatsuki, they probably want to go back and deal with that Witch Lady."

I nodded, "true. I wonder what I'm going to make for breakfast?"

Linda's face brightened, "can we have french toast?!" she bounced around.

I shrugged and okay. When I went back to my room, I slept the rest of the night peacefully and quietly. Minus the yells from Max every now and then…. But peaceful.

* * *

 **So Sorry! I ended the chapter abruptly, I'm packing for vacation and I'm suppose to be cleaning OMG! Sorry, no revising.**

 **I needed to post, I haven't cuz of packing and school work.**

 **Anyways, I'm hoping I can post once a week while I'm gone. So happy Holidays.**

 **BYE!**


	73. Sexy For Sale

**Max: We Wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!**

 **Ana: We?**

 **Max: Yeah, those are the lyrics.**

 **Linda: I mean we celebrate Christmas but we aren't believers.**

 **Max: *mutters* believe it.**

 **Ana: What?**

 **Max: Nothing-nothing.**

 **Ana: So fix the lyrics… plus we also have a aggressive Jashinist, and Pein a "god".**

 **Max: *sighs and sadly sings* I wish you a Merry Christmas, I wish you a Merry, Christmas, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy New Year…**

 **Linda: Plus you're a bit late.**

 **Max: I KNOW!**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Thankyou, Konety and Ashkey321, for following and favoriting the story.**

 **Also, first chapter of the year!**

* * *

 **Linda**

Hidan and I dragged our feet on the pavement slowly following the others. We were back in town walking away from the Antique Store (interesting name). Itachi had sent Kisame to go "handle" the lady that made him switch bodies with Max yesterday. But it seems that Kisame was too lazy and sent Deidara at night to go blow the place up or something. But failed to realize that he hadn't been paying attention and blew the wrong store up. Pein found out–and sent all of us here. Now you're caught up.

"What's the big deal?" Sasuke shrugged, "just pay it off like you always do." He looked back over at Max–because he knows her very well.

Max rubbed her arms in a cold manner, she chewed her lip thinking. "Yeah, but we can't spend our money a lot, may I remind you we haven't been working." Kakuzu's cheap self agreed 100%.

As all thirteen continued talking about our money situation, I slowly grew distracted by a candy shop. It was small and had a poster with _some_ of the _many_ candies that were available. Sadly, it doesn't open until eight, it just now turned to seven in the morning. I continued walking–but a flyer caught my eye. It was small and stapled to the city bulletin board.

"Sexy Charity Auction," I read out loud. Sounds fancy. "Want to use your looks for the good? Come to the charity this Friday–Today–call this number for further details."

"Hey!" I looked over, Kisame and Ana had stopped and been waiting for me. I glanced back at the poster. What the heck, and I ripped one of the slips off running back to the group.

"What's that?" Ana asked taking the slip of paper from me.

"Apparently there's going to be an auction for sexy people."

"And how does that help us?" Kisame asked.

I shrugged, "ask Max or Kakuzu, I'm sure they'll manipulate it for our benefit." Ana and Kisame glanced at each other and nodded, knowing fully well that it was true.

Ana gave Max the paper and filled her in on the details.

"I don't know….Kakuzu?" Max looked up at him.

"Sorry, you lost me charity," Kakuzu said boredly.

Hidan took the piece of paper and hit Max on the back of her head. "Idiot, you're answer is right in front of you."

She rubbed her head and glared at him, "what do you suggest?"

Hidan sighed impatiently, "we are the charity dumb fuck, we call and tell them that we're a Children's hospital or something! People eat that shit up all the time."

Now that's just evil, I wonder how many charities are real while the others are like ours–fake. I slowly felt a guilt begin to form inside me.

"Okay…" Max didn't look very sure.

Tobi jumped up holding a paper, "Tobi ran back and grabbed the flyer!"

Deidara took the paper and pointed something to Max. She leaned in, trying not to trip.

"Males Fridays, Women Saturday…. What does that mean?" she rubbed her chin.

Everyone face palmed.

"Max," Ana began, "what do you always call the Akatsuki?"

"Cool."

"Keep going."

"Badass."

"Yeah."

"Strong."

"..."

"Sex–" Max came to a stop as everything began to click. "OH MY GOD THE AKATSUKI ARE SEXY!" All of her energy began to shoot out.

Kisame flicked her head for being so slow. "Moron."

"We can enter you guys into this for money!" She bounced around.

"Count me out," Itachi and Sasori awkwardly glanced at each other and continue walking.

"Same goes for me," Sasuke walked away.

Max latched onto his arm, "come on Sasgay, you'll bring in the bonus," she winked at him still clinging onto his arm despite him asking for her to let go.

"Let's tell Leader first then we'll call," Zetsu suggested. We all nodded agreeing and continued walking back to the Volkswagen.

Pein looked up from reading the newspaper. We patiently waited in the library waiting for him to pay attention to us.

"You want to do what?" His eyes grew harder.

Konan sighed and placed the hot chocolate on the desk and turned back to us. "Do you think this will work?" she stopped herself and sighed again, "nevermind do what you want. All of you will do it whether or not you get permission from us. Just be safe." She knows us very well.

"What?" Pein stood up glaring at Konan, "I'm in charge I say whether or not they go."

She glared over her shoulder at Pein. "Well I'm also in charge, let's not forget that."

We took a step back as the two glared at each other, fire coming out of their eyes. The library door opened and Max skipped down the spiral stairs.

"I have the information, apparently rich ladies pay to get a date with a sexy man and the money goes to the charity!" she smiled, which faded as she saw the glaring competition between Konan and Pein. "What's with those two?"

I shrugged.

Itachi stepped forward clearing his throat. "Leader, Konan, if you like I can handle this while…" he trailed off not knowing what to say about their situation. "You two work."

Konan gave a scarey fake smile and placed her hand on Itachi's shoulder, "exactly, Itachi has been a great member to this organization he _definitely_ should handle this."

Itachi awkwardly removed Konan's hand off him and followed us as we ran out the library. Max and Ana closed the door quickly just in case.

"What are they, a married couple now," Hidan put his hands behind his head.

Sasori looked back at Max, Ana, and I. "Okay, we got permission (or whatever that was), what now?"

Max looked over the flyer. "I think we should dress nice, and show up. I already registered all eight of you."

" **You're a smart bitch,** " Black Zetsu complimented.

"I don't exactly want to be half eaten while I sleep," Max mumbled.

Sasuke stood up from the couch and scowled, "wait… did you registered me in? You did!" he snapped as Max slumped into her seat.

Ana stood in the middle of the living room grabbing our attention. "Listen, we get cleaned up, go to the place, have you guys get dates."

"How will we get the money?" Tobi cocked his head to the side.

"They'll most likely be using cash, but if they use debit cards then we have them put money into our account without knowing," Kakuzu explained.

Max gave a strong pat, "you're getting the hang of this."

"Alright, we'll ready ourselves in the afternoon," Ana sent us to get cleaned up for breakfast.

Later in the afternoon, all twelve of us came down the stairs.

"This the second time that we've used these suits," Kisame adjusted his tie. Max was wearing a navy blue laced sleeveless dress and flats. Ana doesn't wear dresses and just wore a blue blouse with black jeans, but surprisingly she wore boots.

I think I look cute. I'm wearing a red sleeveless dress with gold glitter. I jumped around careful not to bump into anyone. In the end Pein and Konan decided to come along.

Max drove us to the banquet while Itachi gave us the plan of what's going down. He made _sure_ that we wouldn't misbehave. He–he showed us his sharingan.

Upon entering, a woman greeted us giving each a sticker to write our names and gave us a table number. I stuck the sticker on my chest and followed the group inside the ballroom. A stage was set up with a white backdrop. High ceiling, nude color walls, and white cloths on the table. Our table was close to the front.

"So when do we go up?" Hidan asked opening the champagne bottle.

Max reviewed the paper she was given. "There are three groups–you guys are group two."

Just as the cork popped off the bottle, the lights dimmed and a host walked out.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for coming to this charity event." The hostess earned all of the applause in the room. She put her hands up to quiet down everyone. "Our first group of men will be coming up. Remember ladies, this is an auction, but don't forget to have fun."

A choir of women began to cheer. A women representing group one came up standing in a line. All ten of them looking straight.

"Man," I whistled looking at how handsome they were. Times like these I wish I was older. Kisame glared at me for looking at the boys so… intensely.

After the last man was sold off for $4oo dollars (the highest), the host walked up to introduce the next group. "Mary Phantomhive."

Ana looked over at Max unamused. "Really? Phantomhive?"

"Oh shut it, I couldn't think of anything and I was looking at my Black Butler body pillar." She got up walking on stage making it her own. "Hi," she greeted the crowd. "I'd like to say thank you for helping out our own charity."

In chorsu, our whole table let out a huge 'HuH?' Tears were fastly streaking down Max's faces. "My younger brother died of a disease… so I don't want anyone else to feel the same way."

Sasuke grit his teeth and looked away. "Her acting is good."

Pein rubbed his temples, "too good."

Mags wiped the fake tears and brightly smiled. "Let's get this show on the roll!" She called each member up by their fake names. Parker, Shane, Dean, Kyle, Toby, Skyler, Hunter and Ian. (Pein, Sasori, Deidara, Kisame, Tobi, Sasuke, Hidan, and Itachi).

The crowned was quiet minus the murmurs. Everyone stares in awe at group two, some were whistling and fanning themselves. I don't blame them, some were quite attractive.

The host walked on stage again, her red gown following behind. "Let's begin with you," she pointed at Pein. Max stepped to the sidelines to watch with a light smirk. "Hmm? $50-$100?" Three hands raised up. "Can I get $150? $200?" Finally, after having five hands up and only three of them staying, Pein was sold off for $370.

I clapped my hands, "go Pein," I cheered happily for him. He got off stage with a blank look before pulling his seat. Just as he was about to sit, the black haired woman who paid for him came and tugged him over to her table. Pein looked back at us as, Konan waved a goodbye to him.

"Alright, onto the next male," the hostess looked Sasori up and down before looking at the crowd with a number in mind. "Let's start off with $100." Five hands shot up in the sky. After five minutes of the price rising and hands going down, Sasori was sold off for $400 to a black woman in what has to be the most prettiest dress I've seen tonight.

For about another ten minutes, Deidara was sold to a woman with short red hair who paid for $4oo. Thanks to Max changing his hair style to show his whole face. Kisame was sold for $370 and got a wink from his buyer.

"Next is Toby," the hostess read off her card. "Um… could you take the mask off."

Tobi stopped waving and jumping to us and the crowd, and grabbed onto his face in horror. Unfortunately he didn't sense Hidan, who grabbed his arms from behind and ripped the mask off. The room grew quiet excluding the loud crash of the wine bottle that Deidara dropped. Ana and I looked at each other in shock, and at Max who seemed also in a surprise. You see… this was Tobi. It wasn't "Madara" or Obito, or even the Zetsu thing named Tobi… or whatever that thing was called (maybe just all of them are named Zetsu? Minus Black Zetsu).

He had short black hair, pouty soft lips, sharp jaw, black eyes that were close to tearing up from the humiliation. He also had long lashes similar to Itachi's, pale skin and a cute nose. Tobi's cheeks were reddening more and more as the longer the room remained silent.

"I'm starting off with $200," the hostess finally spoke. Ten women raised their hands eagerly. "... $500, going once, twice, sold." She pointed at a happy blonde with long straight hair and bangs.

Tobi quickly got off stage putting his mask on and sitting at our table crossing his arms mad. I looked over and patted his hand getting his attention.

"Good job, Tobi," I tried cheering him up. "You did really good, you even got more money than Deidara."

This seem to have brighten him up more than I thought. "I got more than senpai!" Deidara didn't say anything as he was still in shock from finally seeing what was under Tobi's mask. And it just happened to be a handsome lad.

Konan's face was a bit red as she still stared at Tobi in shock. No one blames her.

"Ladies more," the hostess began getting the crowd excited. Sasuke's bidding had already began. Before walking into the banquet Max told Ana to not even think about trying to get a date with Sasuke Uchiha. And that she sould wouldn't try on her trio. So far, with only Itachi left, Max hasn't even peeped a word.

"I'll do $450!"

"I'll do $490!"

"$600." I looked over at the table next to us. "Cash," an old sweet lady innocently smiled. She chuckled, "he reminds me of my grandchild who is so serious."

Kisame snorted, "either she's a sweet old lady or she's into weird incest." this earned a giggle from his buyer.

(Just to get the names of who, "bought" who.

Pein–he wasn't at the table so I don't know.

Kisame–Chloe a short black haired woman, who seems a bit ditsy.

Sasori–Helen, she's really funny and has a puppy at home!

Deidara–Maddie

Tobi–Claudia)

The hostess looked over at Sasuke, he shrugged. "Sold," the woman smiled. The old lady walked over, with what I assume is a butler or body guard, to the stairs where she met Sasuke.

He bowed, "ma'am."

The lady chuckled, "please, call me Nancy." He nodded and gestured to our table. I pulled up two chairs for the two of them, surprisingly we all fit.

"That was quick, $600." I looked over at Konan wondering what she meant. Hidan came down with a smirk.

"Vanessa," the woman smiled at him.

"Your name matches you… hot and sexy."

I rolled my eyes and pulled another chair for Hidan's little buyer to sit in. The hostess stood next to Itachi smiling. "And last but certainly not least–Ian." A lot of woman raised their hands up and began suggesting offers.

"$300."

"$350"

The host seemed very surprised at the sudden outburst of request. Itachi remained nonchalant at the whole ordeal.

"$1,000" A woman shouted.

"$1,500," another shouts.

The hostess looked around and began doing her thing. "Going once…?"

Deidara growled and stood up staring hatefully at the table. He looked up on stage with a glare. "Itachi!" he snapped, earning the attention of the Uchiha.

"Going twice…?"

Deidara gulped his pride down before continuing. "...Smile."

Itachi stared back at Deidara, slowly raising his gaze to the crowd. My heart leaped out of my chest, my cheeks flushed. Itachi soften his face before giving his famous smile, when he was with a child version of Sasuke.

The whole room went silent before going into a massive craze. Almost all the woman jumped from their seats and ran to the stage throwing money and screaming that they were willing to use credit cards or if they just wait for daddy.

"$10,000." quite a sexy voice boomed. Everyone turned to looked at a curvy women with long wavy auburn hair. She was wearing a grey strapless gown with a slit running down her left leg, showing off her white heels. Matching with her short white gloves. She walked towards the stage, a butler following close behind. "Cash," the butler held the briefcase up for show.

The hostess looked at Itachi, he gave a simple nod of approval. Max ran across the stage throwing her arms around Itachi with a wide grin.

"I'm so proud of you!" she looked down at us, "I'm proud of all of you!" I smiled and couldn't help myself. I jump running to the stairs and up the stage throwing my hands around Itachi. Surprisingly, Ana also came into the group hug. Itachi looked at us with his usual blank face. Max released him so he could talk to this mystery women.

Itachi walked down giving a small bow. "Itachi Uchiha," he replied annoyed with the fake names. In the back Max was pouting but that didn't matter.

The women raised an eyebrow and nodded putting her right hand out. "Alexa Wilson, pleasure to meet you."

"Pleasure is mine."

"I'd love to stay and chat, really, but I'm busy and could only be here for the second group." she paused giving a soft chuckle, "which was good a thing in the end. Well, I guess I'll be seeing you very soon," Alexa leaned in giving Itachi a kiss on the cheek before walking away with her butler and two body guards.

"Hm?" Itachi looked at me and Max. Our eyes were twitching by the such affection that _women_ gave him.

"C'mon," Kisame laughed, "let's enjoy ourselves until it ends."

All of us sat down at our round table, including a few extra friends.

"Wait," Ana said causing most of us to turn. "Where _is_ Kakuzu?"

Max snickered, "he's just doing the behind the scenes work…" she let out a cackle causing people around us to give odd stares.

"Right." Ana said turning her body to ignore her. I giggled and returned my attention back to Helen. She is so funny!

* * *

 **Sorry I couldn't post yesterday I was sick. I still am but feeling a bit better. Just a sore throat.**

* * *

 _ **After Hours…**_

"I should just call the cops," the old man growled still very much cranky from being woken up at almost eleven at night.

Max fumed with anger, "listen you little rat, we got you the money to repair your shitty shop. Calling the police would cost money, so would getting a lawyer and a case for a Judge to deal with. So how about you take it and keep your ugly old man ass shut!" She snapped.

The old man growled and slammed his shop door, but not without muttering a bitch to Max.

"Cunt!" Max cursed before turning on her heels and stomping off still cursing under her breath.

The Akatsuki slowly followed her down the sidewalk in the direction where she left the Volkswagen.

"You were happy ten minutes ago," Sasuke frowned.

Max grit her teeth, "yeah but that old hag got me in a bad mood, also I was in Uchiha's body yesterday and I didn't get sleep (cuz somebody chased me). Plus, I was woken up early!"

Hidan groaned, "stop bitching and start thinking about money or something!"

"By the way, how much money did we make?" Linda asked.

"Thanks to Deidara's idea of having Itachi smile, which greatly helped. We got a total of $13,240." Pein answered the little one's question.

"Plus the three hundred Tobi got off the floor when the ladies went crazy," Tobi jumped excited.

"$13,540, minus the 2,000 from the old man, leaves us to 11,540 dollars." Kakuzu added.

"We should celebrate with pizza," Ana suggest, "I have great coupons saved in a drawer."

Everyone chatter agreeing that they wanted pizza. They all looked at Pein for the final decision.

"Pizza sounds fine, just don't forget my hot chocolate."

Max laughed, "late night pizza is the best pizza!"


	74. Genderbent Mirror

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **I have a really HUGE favor to ask! Like super huge! Okay, my mind seems to be running out on creativity juice and I can't seem to find inspiration for this (not the story), but could you guys (as readers) help me make a dream for Max.**

 **I did one for Linda (Devil of Oz) and one for Ana (Road To Deal). But I can't find anything for Max (and I like this for just the three of them), so what better way than to get perspectives from other people. So I really need you guys to be active and tell me an idea you just might have.**

 **You can leave your ideas in the reviews or in a private message.**

 **Of course I will give you credit.**

 **But please help me with this! The chapter is only 9 chapters away (roughly about 5 weeks)**

 **So please help me out, ask other people too!**

 **PLEASE AND THANK YOU!**

* * *

 **Max**

I drummed my fingers on the front desk. This was so annoying, the _Witch_ (the owner of The Antique Shop) continued staring at me.

"Well?" She waited.

I glared at her, "why do I have to pay!"

"You dropped my snow globe."

"Because you shot me with your powers or whatever!"

She didn't say anything and continued staring at me. After a while she sighed and leaned on the palm of her hand. "I'll tell you what. I won't charge you anything, but you take that mirror."

I looked over at an elegant shape with a thick cloth covering it. Well, I get a free mirror and I don't have to pay anything.

"Fine."

I drove back home with the big thing in the back. As I was parking the Volkswagen I noticed in the rearview mirror that there were a lot of cars coming up. I got out closing the door and opened the back to grab the damn mirror. A total of seven cars pulled up to the mansion. I stayed by my van leaning on it, observing such beautiful automobiles. I soon realized who were in these cars.

"Bye," the women with short black hair waved to Kisame as he got out the red 1954–5 convertible. She drove off making the line move.

The last one out was Sasuke. Nancy gave him a candy and waved as the car drove. All seven, Hidan, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Pein, Sasuke, and Tobi walked in front of me.

"So, how'd the dates go?" I smiled at them. They walked past me to the house muttering okay's and meh. I laughed looking back over watching a limo pull up. Wiping the smile off my face.

The driver stopped, opening his door and running to the back door to open it. Itachi got out thanking the man. Alexa–the one who paid 10,000 dollars for a date–walked out. I gulped. She was in light denim jeans, heels, a white blazer covering her pink lemonade blouse. Also the sunglasses with gold rim. It's a pretty warm day in mid February.

I watch as she was saying something to him handing a card before giving a kiss on both of his cheeks. She looked over and waved noticing me. I gave an awkward wave back.

It's awkward because we're in similar outfits. Well, I was wearing white converse, black jeans, white t shirt and a navy blue blazer.

Oh my god I'm the darker version of her! I too have wavy hair–but it's black.

The limo drove off and Itachi walked passed me not saying anything. "How are you, Max? Oh I'm fine thank you guys for asking." I scowled and walked into the house taking the heavy mirror with me. I shoved the door open putting the thing down beside the TV.

"What's that?" Ana asked sitting up from slouching on the couch.

"It's a mirror, it was the only thing to pay off the snow globe that broke." I grabbed the fabric ripping it off. The mirror had an elegant design of dark oak wood.

Hidan sighed and looked over at Linda before smirking. Noticing that I was looking at him he winked and walked over to her. "Hey, kid, you got something on your forehead."

Linda touched her head and turned to the mirror.

"You're the first one to use it," I joked. Linda got closer wondering what was on her forehead. Hidan came around and grabbed the back of her head pushing it forward. I imagine that she'd hit her head yell at him while he laughed his ass. And I'm sure Hidan was imagining that too.

My eyes widen and I looked from Hidan to the mirror to Ana.

"D–did that mirror just eat my sister?" Ana point her finger accusing at the inanimate object.

"Not exactly," I replied tensely. I pushed my finger through making the glass ripple. I pulled back feeling weird. "Hidan go in."

"What?!" He pulled back from shock to glare at me. "Why the hell do I have to go?!"

"Because you were the one to push her," Kakuzu pointed out the obvious.

Tobi ran over in terror. "THE MIRROR IS EATING US! DON'T FEAR LINDA I'LL HELP!" and he jumped in.

Pein got up from his seat with a scowl. "I can't have _one_ relaxing day…" He muttered. "Okay, Akatsuki, we need to investigate this portal… thing." He made his way over, first shoving Hidan in before going inside himself.

I think Pein is now completely through with the three of us (maybe with me more) that he's just going with the flow. I watched as each member went in with an uncomfortable look. Ana and I stared at each other before she went in. I took a deep breath and slipped in. Before understanding what was happening I flew over and crashing on a concrete floor.

"Get off me!" I screamed at who ever landed on me. It was completely pitch black. After Sasuke apologized I got up taking out the lighter in my back pocket. Flicking it on and slowly began making my way around to not let the fire out. "Hi Itachi," I walked passed him watching his red glowing eyes follow me. Finally I stop at Linda.

"Hmmmm," she tried talking but couldn't because of Hidan's hand squishing her face into a door.

"Hi," I greeted pushing them off to open the door. Light spilled in as I opened the door wider for the Akatsuki, and we headed down a hallways. After a minute I decided to let Pein lead just in case someone came out to try and kill us.

"I hear voices," Deidara pointed out. "They seem faint and womanly."

"Don't get a boner," Hidan snickered earning him a glare from Deidara. Pein stopped in front of a door that was slightly open.

"Itachi and Kisame, I want the both of you first," he whispered. The pair made their way to the front standing in front of the door. With a swift kick Kisame kicked the door open exposing the people inside and us.

"Yeah because using a door knob is so mainstream," I snorted.

Pein pushed through telling them that if anyone moves someone dies. But before finishing his sentence a row of shurikens were thrown at us. Itachi easily blocked them with his kunai. Or as I like to call it, The Greatest Kunai ever made. I got this after watching the Sasuke Vs. Itachi fight, and Sasuke threw that big ass shuriken and Itachi blocked it with that single kunai even with lightning. Of course it does depend on the wielder, but shit that kunai just did not break. Sorry I'm off topic.

I pushed through to see why everyone was so silent. Sasori didn't move so I peeked from behind his back. My jaw dropped not believing what I was seeing with my own two eyes. It was if looking at a portrait of the Akatsuki… except as woman.

"Who are you," a woman (who looked like Sasori) asked holding her hand up. From the back I heard a puppet move. She tensed up when Sasori's own puppet slowly crept behind them from the shadow. Silently saying, 'move your puppet and I kill you.'

"I'd like to ask the same question," Konan eyed the man with blue hair glaring back. The two of them slowly raised their jutsu papers but not daring to move.

"Akatsuki," both Pein and… lady Pein said telling their members to drop the weapons. It took a while but everyone relax putting away their weapons.

"I'm surprised Hidan hasn't done anything," Ana whispered to me.

I rolled my eyes, "he's just too busy checking himself out."

"Let us talk and sort this out–"

A door fastly swung open cutting Pein off. "I brought cookies and…" the boy trailed off looking between our Akatsuki and his Akatsuki. That's when it clicked.

I stepped out of our group standing between the show down staring at the boy. He had short smooth wavy hair, hazel eyes, and soft fair skin. My heart began pumping faster making blood rush through my head. My cheeks redden as I stopped in front of him.

"Um…" he raised an eyebrow. "I didn't think I had a fangirl so committed to me that she snuck in a criminal organization."

I slapped his forehead. "Idiot, I'm you not a fucking fangirl."

He scoffed, "please you wish you were me."

"You have two small scars on the right of your stomach and we both have a hating passion for asparagus."

His jaw dropped as he scanned my face. I scowled and turned around walking away. "Ahhh!" I fell straight to the ground as my boy self tackled me to the ground flipping me over to stare at me.

"It's like meeting a long lost sister, but not," he whispered incredulously. He sat me up still straddling on me, he stripped the blazer off tossing it to the side.

"H–hey! What do you think you're–"

Touch

My face redden and my jaw dropped. "Wow, I really have boobs!" he yelled in excitement putting his hands on my breast. "Smaller than what I go for–"

I pulled my arm back and punch him across the face sending the pervert to the ground. I huffed loudly and stomped away in anger grabbing the blazer and putting it back on. He can't be me, _I_ know how to treat women with respect.

"What a punch…" he jumped up and walked down examining the Akatsuki. "Why don't we sit down so we can get to know each other more?"

* * *

This is a Genderbent mirror, that's all. Each Akatsuki member and myself included have the same personalities… even names.

"You have a weird name."

"My name is normal… just on a girl."

Yup, boy names for us are girl names here, and vice versa. So if I have a masculine nickname then guess who got a feminine name.

"So Maxine where are your friends… Ana and Linda?" He stopped pouting and shrugged, "how should I know."

Lady Hidan (we decided since both Akatsuki have the same names, I suggested to put Lady in front of the woman's name) let out a laughter. She and Hidan continued sharing sacrifice stories.

Maxine walked over with a smirk on his face. "Do you want to see Ana and Linda?"

I looked over at… my Ana and Linda. They shrugged not caring.

"Good," he smiled, "since only gender change I think you'll like what you see, or not." Maxine turned on his heels and walked away.

The three of us got up following my male self. "See ya Pein," the three of us waved.

"Stop," he ordered. "Where are you four going?"

"Off to see the world…"

"Just be back before dinner." Sir Konan let us leave.

Maxine walked passed Sasuke and stopped, backtracking. "You want to come." Sasuke got up without saying anything and followed us.

For ten minutes Maxine explained the people of this town. And his life with the Akatsuki. We stopped at a huge bush that was behind a small dango shop.

"Where are we?" Linda looked around.

Maxine sighed, "I thought they'd be here."

Sasuke frowned, "why?"

"Because of that." He smirked pointing at the bush. Sasuke walked over pushing some leaves aside taking a look. I saw that his eyes widen, making me take a look at what he might be seeing.

Over to the right in the last table was a female Sasuke sitting with her squad. I took steps back in disbelief. I laughed and patted Sasuke's shoulder. "Man, you make a very attractive women!" Every stared at me as I continued laughed.

"Hey, Max," Linda pointed above my head.

I wiped a tear, "what…" I turned around my smile dropping as Lady Jugo hovered over me. "What a lovely day we're having."

"HAAAA!"

The four of us looked up to see a female version of Suigetsu. Sasuke pulled me just in time for the sword to hit the ground. We ran, it's best if we don't fight in another dimension.

"Show me your face!" Lady Sasuke yelled following us.

"SASUKE!"

We all turned around and saw Naruto (female–obviously) pointing her finger and Lady Sasuke. "I've come to take you back!" she demanded with the help of male Sakura and female Sai.

This is getting confusing…

Maxine quietly pulled us to the side of the road into a huge pile of leaves, hay, and bushes. Team Taka ran off being pursued by team 7.

"That was a close one," Ana huffed.

"Is anyone else confused?" Linda frowned.

I shrugged, "c'mon let's get back to the hideout." I got up brushing dirt off me. "Hey, Maxine let's–IS NOW THE TIME TO BE FLIRTING!" I screamed at him as he had his arm around some random girl.

He sighed, "I'll see you around," he waved goodbye and turned back to scowl at me. "You're ruining my vibe."

"Oh shut it womanizer."

Maxine stared at me for a while. "Okay… tell me something I don't know." Ana pushed to start walking in the direction of the hideout.

Thankfully we made it back without any other problems. Ninja problems. Other problems… we tried kicking fangirls away and held Sasuke back from trying to kill my male self.

"Back so soon?" Kisame asked us.

"Yeah we had some problems," Linda sighed taking a seat next to him. She looked over and noticed a boy staring at her. The two continued staring at each other until they grew embarrassed and looked away. Ana and another boy look at each other with neutral facial expressions. Adjusting their glasses and studying each other.

"His facial expressions remind me of Kyouya from Ouran High school." I whispered to Ana. She gave me a side glance raising her eyebrow. "I'm not saying you act like Kyouya…" She began to glare at me.

Lady Deidara and Kisame walked out handing out bowls of ramen to the rest of us. I licked my lips and broke the chopsticks getting ready to eat such beautiful delicacy.

"Hey, Max, after dinner is it okay if I can ask questions and see what's it like to be a girl?"

I shrugged, "I guess…. To be honest I've also wondered what it's like to have something between your legs."

The entire room went silent as everyone stared at Maxine and I. "Okay that's our que to leave." Pein got up making the rest of The Akatsuki members get up. Hidan walked over swooping down and carrying me over his shoulder.

"My ramen…" I teared up. I waved goodbye to the bowl and the female Akatsuki. "Bye Maxine. Bye Lady Pein, Sir Konan, Lady Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi, Zetsu, Sir Ana and Linda!"

Maxine waved, "Bye Max, Sir Pein, Lady Konan, Sir Itachi, Kisame, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi, Zetsu, Lady Ana and Linda!" The two awkwardly waved back.

"I hope we see each other–AHHH!" Hidan threw into the reflection where the mirror was sitting. I flew across the living room hitting my knee and landing on the couch. Fuck! I held onto my knee as each member came in, with last one being Pein. He grabbed the mirror and pushed it forward breaking it into big and small pieces.

"Why didn't you just throw a rock?" Deidara crossed his arms. Pein didn't answer and continued staring at the boy until he understood his stupid question.

"Max, Ana, Linda, clean this up." Pein ordered walking away. The three of us glared at him.

"Meow." I swooped down grabbing Juuzou just before he walked in the pile of glass. That would have been bad. I grabbed my phone from my back pocket feeling it vibrate.

"Hello?" I asked already knowing who it was from the special ring tone. (Shelter by Porter R.).

"Hey, babe what's up?" Daniel asked.

I slightly chuckled, "I had a pretty crazy day."

"Why's that?"

I glanced at the Akatsuki who were all lounging on the couches watching TV. "Just a crazy dream that's all."

Daniel laughed through the speaker, "well nap dreams are the weirdest. Don't worry it was only a dream."

I smirked, "yeah…"

* * *

 **Sorry it's late at night but I was out celebrating my bro's birthday. And I still had to finish the chapter.**

 **My bad…**

 **Also for a better vision–the well known fanart of the genderbent Akatsuki helped. The one where Deidara has pigtails, and Itachi blowing kisses, while Zetsu's looking awkward.**

 **Yeah that one. (If you're going to giggle it then it's the second photo.** _ **Should**_ **be)**


	75. A Little Goes A Long Way

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Thank you, Mahinota for favoriting and following the story.**

 **Sorry for not posting.**

* * *

 **Ana**

I scribbled more numbers on the white note pad. I was giving the kitchen a thorough cleaning and I decided to count plates, silverware, and cooking utensils. So far there are way more lids than containers in the cabinets.

Hidan walked in wiping some blood off his face with a towel. "What are you doing?" he lift a pot up and set it down getting bored and grabbing a soda out the fridge.

"Just cleaning up," I began putting things back in their place.

"Where's the brat?"

I frowned turning around. "Linda? Or Max?"

"Max."

"She went with Sasori to the Antique shop. Something about getting back at the witch." I shrugged and put the dry dishes away.

"They don't ever learn," Hidan shook his head and walked away grabbing an apple on his way out.

"Ana," Linda called walking in the kitchen from the dining room. "I counted the good china."

I nodded and said thank you, returning back to putting dishes away. The front door opened, I heard Max laughing with foot steps behind her the door closing. Linda and I migrated to the living room in which we saw Max holding a thick smooth stick and Sasori carrying a scroll.

"What the hell is that?" Goldilocks sat up putting the game on pause. Max bounced around happily ready to explode with news. But Sasori beat her to it.

"Leader asked me if I could get rid of the Witch. As I was about to kill her I decided that maybe she could be turned into a puppet."

Linda made a face pointing at the scroll in his hands. "Is she in there?" Sasori nodded.

"But guess what I got?" Max held her palms up showing us the long thick stick. "It was her wand, cool huh!"

I frowned, "I didn't know she had a wand. She used her hand with you and Itachi." Max shrugged poking and prodding the weapon more. Goldilocks came around and snatched it taking a look at it. He put it eye level taking a good look at the crafting.

"Where's Leader," he put the wand down looking at me.

"He's in the dining room drinking a cup of hot chocolate. Said he was going to call a meeting soon."

Goldilocks smirked at our little circle, "looks like the meeting is starting early." He walked away heading over to the dining room. Max went after him in protest.

"Hey that's mine," she whined all the way into the room. Pein and Konan looked up from reading scrolls, raising their eyebrows. Sasori walked over putting his scroll and the wand in front of them.

"What's this?" Pein picked up the wand, as Konan picked the scroll up, both examining them. Max walked over leaning over Pein's shoulder.

"It's the witch's wand," Max grabbed it turning it on all its sides. "I like how it feels and looks."

Pein didn't say anything at first. "Linda, go get everyone for a quick meeting." Linda left to go do what she was told."

"Max stop waving it around," I said a bit uneasy. Who knows if that thing is still active. And honestly, I don't want to find out.

Soon the dining room filled up with the rest of the Akatsuki members. Tobi got closer to the wand wondering how it worked of course Max didn't let him and the two began fighting over it.

"So you're adding a witch to your puppet collection," Goldilocks repeated.

Sasori nodded, "she's powerful for disrupting the Akatsuki, she seems honorable to go on my wall."

"You should show us the finished product," Hidan laughed like the sadistic man he is.

Linda scrunched her nose, "please don't."

"Damn it, Tobi, quit screwing around!" Max snapped.

"Ahh!"

Itachi finished reading the scroll handing it over to someone else. He didn't say anything and simply nodded.

"Isn't going to be harder since she doesn't have any chakra?" Sasuke asked pushing the scroll to me. I immediately passed it back to Sasori.

"Yes, but I am a puppet master," Sasori's eyes harden a bit, "I think I can manage."

I glanced Linda who also noticed the bitter atmosphere rising. We turned around hearing Max snap at Tobi… one last time.

"Damn it, Tobi quit screwing around you're going to break–" Max tripped backwards, the wand coming out of the boy's hand. She barely caught herself, unfortunately it was the hand that the wand was in. Max grabbed the table, making the wand snap in half exploding a lot of glitter. It shot out on all the Akatsuki, with the exception on Kisame and I. (Tobi didn't get any because he activated his jutsu, letting the glitter go through instead of on him). But most of it getting on Max and Pein.

I pressed my hand against my mouth in shock, but also to prevent myself from laughing at this moment. Pein slowly go up from his seat the glitter falling onto the floor but staying on his cloak. Making him into a criminal figure skater. Max slowly blinked back to reality, giving Tobi a nasty death glare.

"Hi…" he uncomfortably backed away trembling in fear. Max opened her mouth ready to scream at him.

"Meow."

Goldilocks eyes widen, "did she just meow."

"No, moron," Max snapped turning to look at Juuzou; who jumped back avoiding glitter on his fur. Which would be a good thing in the future. "Juuzou honey, mommy can't help you right now because she has to go _murder_ someone." she glared back at Tobi, he shrieked and cowered down.

"Meow."

Max's face paled in horror and stepped back away from Juuzou. "Meow." She pointed her finger at him and scaredly retreated all the way to the table. "Meow…"

Max jumped up on the table screaming grabbing onto Pein for protection. "What are you doing?" He scowled glaring at her through the corner of his eye.

Her mouth opened and close not finding the right words.

"Spit it out," I called out.

"Juuzou!" Max finally tried talking, "I–I can understand him!"

Kisame did the hardest eye roll ever. "Yeah we can all understand that he's meowing."

"N–no! I can verbally understand him! Like, how I'm talking to you, his meows translate into words like how we're talking!" she screeched.

Everyone said nothing and awkwardly looked from Juuzou to Max. Pein sighed, he forced Max off him and looked over at the Akatsuki.

"It seems that this substance may affect those who've touched it. So if anything differnt begins to happen, please inform me and I'll see what to do from then on. As for you, Tobi." Pein glared at the mask man without turning his head. Making it more scarier. "I want this place cleaned up, I don't want to see a single spec of glitter. Am I understood!"

Tobi shakingly nodded cowering in the corner of the dining room. Kisame pulled me to him letting Pein walked by, with Konan behind him. Keeping as much distance between them and the glitter. Those two are scary when angry. I looked back over at the Akatsuki finally letting my laughter out. They glared at me but I didn't care this was really funny. Kisame and I didn't move until all of them left and Tobi cleaned up after them. All the way up to the stairs and hallway to where they showered and cleaned up.

So if Max can finally understand Juuzou, than what will the others have?

"Do you think the quantity matters?" Kisame asked as he sat across from me in the kitchen.

"I don't know, we need to wait and see. Maybe those with less glitter will have a softer reaction?" I mumbled in thought.

He shrugged, "who knows."

* * *

 **Sasori**

Sasori put the scroll on his desk to save for later. He touched the back of his neck feeling warm. Which was alarming because in this puppet body of his temperature wasn't a problem. He felt almost… sensually warm.

Sasori shook his head putting that thought out and got out his room making his way to the living room. But stopped as he felt something heating around his legs. The door opened and he realized that this was Max's room. Ana walked out and stopped just before running into him.

"Oh hey," the girl replied cooly. He nodded not wanting to say anything. "You okay?"

"Yeah…" he stretched his word out wondering if he should ask or not. "Have you found out if anyone has began to feel weird?"

Ana shook her head, "not that I know of. Why, is it getting to you now?"

He scowled at her but sighed. "What of it?"  
"Well tell Pein. What's different?"

"I feel warm… awkwardly warm."

Ana nodded before it finally clicked to her. Or what she thought she understood. "Oh," was all she could say at first. "I think I know something that can help."

Ana walked back into Max's empty room grabbing something under her bed before returning back to the redhead's side.

"Max had this saved just in case Tobi got _curious_." she pushed the box to Sasori pushing him by the shoulders back to his room.

Sasori raised an eyebrow as she closed the door leaving him alone in his own room. He walked over to his desk opened the top up. Sasori's mouth open in disbelief at what he was seeing. There was a bottle of lotion, a box of tissues, _magazines_ , and a tablet with a video downloaded. He stared back almost insulted.

Sasori stomped over to his door grabbing the doorknob. But before he left, a certain sound began to project from the speaker of the tablet. A certain female sound. Sasori looked over his shoulder and looked back at the door knob. With a small grumble he locked the door and headed back to the desk.

* * *

 **Itachi**

Linda, Sasuke and Ana sat around the coffee table playing a small game of cards. Calmly playing around when suddenly Linda was tackled by arms wrapping around her. She shrieked and turned wondering who it was.

"I–Itachi!"

Sasuke and Ana jaws dropped.

Itachi nuzzled the top of the girls head. "So adorable…" Linda's face flush in embarrassment.

Itachi raised his eyes looking at the other two. Swiftly before Ana and Sasuke could protest, Itachi grabbed them, forcing a big hug. He gently caressed his cheek on the teens heads. Ana's face was pure horror, Sasuke looked confused, and Linda was redder than a tomato.

"Maybe I should tell Leader," Deidara said to himself, as he was making his way around the couch.

Itachi snapped his eyes open looking at the blonde. He let the teens go, jumping up tackling Deidara to the ground. Trying his best to cuddle.

"Ahh! Get Uchiha off me!" He squirmed around to escape. Deidara's cheeks slowly and softly redden as Itachi hugged him harder.

Itachi nuzzled his head on his shoulder sending shivers of disgust down the other boy's back.

"Quit laughing, brat!" He snapped at Ana who was already laughing at him. Sasuke and Linda glanced at each other, but decided to not say anything.

* * *

 **Konan**

Konan sighed taking a seat in one of the desk in the library. Now was the only break she had for some peace and quiet. She slouched in the chair opening the book she'd been reading for some time. The door opened and Hidan walked down the stair putting a scroll in front of her.

Konan raised her eyebrow, "can I help you?"

"That's the scroll you wanted." _Hidan answered boredly in his hot voice._

Konan frowned but put it off to the side. "The one I asked a week ago." He nodded.

Konan sighed, "alright thank you I guess. You can go now."

Hidan walked away, "cool." he replied, _his words grazing his soft sexy lips._

Konan got up from her chair, eyes widen in horror. Was anyone hearing this too, she thought. Activating her paper jutsu, Konan searched the entire room wondering if someone else was in there. The results were negative. She shook her head and took the book heading back up stairs. She opened the door just as Itachi was walking in.

"Oh, Konan, Leader is looking for you," the _Uchiha's breath tickling her lips._

Konan pushed past him hurrying down the hallway. Making Itachi frowned in confusion, but dropped the subject. Konan continued walking not paying attention to where she was going. Pein caught her by the shoulders right before they crash into each other.

"Konan, look out," Pein muttered, _not wanting his love to get hurt_. "I was wonder where last missions paper went." _His deep husky voice echoing in her head._

Konan pushed past him running to her room. She locked herself in not coming out for the rest of the day.

* * *

 **Deidara**

Max stared back at Juuzou as he ate his food. She's been laying down looking at him for the past ten minutes. Wondering when he'd say something. Max looked up as the kitchen door opened.

"Oh hello, Deidara–!"

Deidara pointed at the girl, with a flowering in his mouth. "I want and need you." he declared.

Max's eyes widen, "excuse me."

"I said I want you, and I need you to love."

"I have a boyfriend."

Deidara snorted, "so like I care," and he reach over to snatch a kiss. But failed and got kicked in the chest.

"Look, man this is not the time," Max's voice quivered.

Linda walked into the kitchen wondering what all the yelling was about. Deidara ran to her throwing his arms around the girl's shoulders. "I want you...to be with me! I want to be in you."

Linda screamed and kicked him right between the legs making an escape to the living room. Hidan walked in and stared down at Deidara who was still rolling around on the ground. Deidara looked up making eye contact with the Jashinist. He jumped up throwing his arms around Hidan's neck.

"Will you let me love you?"

Hidan stared back with a blank expression and looked back over at Max. "Is this the part where I smash his face?"

Max quickly walked over prying Deidara's arms and pushed him towards the living room for safety. Deidara looked at her puzzled and stopped in his tracks.

Sitting on the couch, was a younger beautiful Uchiha. Deidara ran over kneeling in front of Sasuke, his eyes sparklingly. "Will you marry me?!" Sasuke stared at the nineteen year old before pulling his arm back and punching him across the face.

* * *

 **Tobi**

Kakuzu put the first pile of money down, and picked up the next one to count. The front door swung open causing Kakuzu to look up from counting. A man in dark jeans, biker boots, white t shirt, leather jacket, and a black cap cover his eyes, walked in.

Kakuzu awkwardly glanced around not sure how to handle this situation. "Who the hell are you?"

The man scowled at him leaning down to glare. "What do you think, old man?" Kakuzu's eye twitched profusely. The man leaned back crossing his arms. "Tobi, idiot."

Kakuzu blinked not sure if what he was seeing was true. "Tobi…?"

Sasori made his way down the stairs. "Who's at the door?"

"Tobi."

"Tobi…?" Sasori frowned looking the man up and down. "That's not Tobi."

Kakuzu glowered over his shoulder, "well then who is it? Linda," he called to the girl hiding behind the staircase railing. "Go up stairs and look for brat."

Tobi scoffed, "I'm telling you three that I am Tobi."

Linda nodded, "his room is empty this is Tobi. Our Tobi."

The three stared in shock at Tobi who pulled a pack of cigarettes out and lit one up in the house. Linda hesitantly raised her hand, "um, there's no smoking in the house."

Tobi turned around, "yeah, and who's going to stop me?" he pushed the kitchen door open letting it close behind him. Linda stepped back not liking the way he back talked to her.

"What a jerk," she muttered. That's when it clicked. "I get it now!" she gasped in excitement. "The glitter is making Tobi opposite. Since he's always a good boy, this thing, _is_ turning him into a bad boy!"

Kakuzu nodded, "yeah I'll go tell Pein."

Sasori looked back over at Linda, "go stall him until we get back. Can you handle that?"

Linda nodded saluting Sasori. He nodded and left without another word. Linda took a deep breath and entered the kitchen forcing a smile on. Which wasn't that hard to do at all. Tobi looked up from reading a cookbook and walked over looming over the younger girl.

"So," she began, "how are you?" He didn't say anything and continued staring down at her. "I'm fine thank you for asking."

"I didn't ask."

"Well, I did."

Tobi pulled the cigarette out his mouth and blew the smoke all over her face. Linda stepped back and sneezed, feeling the tickles the smoke gave her, remain in her nostrils.

"That wasn't very nice."

"Well, that's a hint that I don't like you." Tobi took some of her hair and began twirling it.

Linda blinked, "but I like you." Tobi's face blanked. "You're a good friend if we start thinking about it. You're funny and you seem to _really_ care about your senpai."

Pein walked into the kitchen holding Tobi's mask. "Oh I see it now," he said to himself. He walked towards the two pushing them away from each other. "Here put it on."

Tobi raised his eyebrow, "Pein, why the hell do I need to–" Pein aggressively put the mask on, not liking the way he was questioned or back talked.

"Hello, Leader–san, Linda–chan!" Tobi happily waved at them and skipped out the kitchen.

Pein was making his way out, but not without messing with the younger one first. "Linda?"

"Yes."

"You aren't allowed to be alone with boys."

Linda's face redden. "I it–it wasn't like that!" She pouted, _you're welcome,_ she stuck her tongue out.

* * *

The next day after breakfast, Pein called a meeting in the livingroom.

"So it seems that after 24 hours, all the symtoms went away."

Max raised her hand, "wait, what about you, Konan, Kakuzu, and Hidan? I saw you four with glitter on."

"Kakuzu and Hidan's were less noticeable. Kakuzu's patience was higher, and Hidan didn't run his mouth." this earned Pein the finger from so called Hidan.

Max nodded, "that makes a lot of sense now."

I shook my head, "some of them were very uncomfortable." I looked over at Itachi and Deidara. Sasuke rubbed his forehead remembering it too.

Kisame sighed, "well I'm glad that's over."

I snorted, "yeah, especially now that Tobi is done throwing a fit not believing us that if he takes his mask off he becomes a bad boy."

Tobi shaked his head holding onto his mask. " _TobiisagoodboyTobiisagoodboy_

 _Tobiisagoodboy!_ "

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm trying to get use to this whole talk to cats thing," Max mumbled uncomfortably.

"At least you didn't get punch in the face," Goldilocks glared at Sasuke with all the hatred he had for him.

Linda put the TV. "why don't we just take the day off and not fight." The other shrugged and began watching a movie…

For only ten minutes before they all fought over the remote and what to watch later.

* * *

 **I wanted this up earlier but I procrastinated by watching dank memes. Haha.**


	76. Tips on Living with Itachi

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Linda**

Hi, I'm Linda. But you might know me as… Linda. Because if you don't well then you my friend have long term and short term memory loss. Which would just be memory loss, and you should probably get that checked…. _Ahem_ … Anyways, I have lived with the Akatsuki for a very long time now and obviously no two Akatsuki members are the same. So if you happen to survive this long, and meet them, I have some tips. Today I'll be talking about my favorite member. Hes' charming, cool, pretty…oh, sorry.

Itachi Uchiha.

 **Tip Number 1: He doesn't talk much. But if he does, have an ice pack ready.**

Itachi isn't a talker. He doesn't talk unless it's necessary, which is always a treat to hear such beautiful voice. But when you annoy Itachi (or if he dislikes you) and force him to speak, prepare to be annihilated with his words. They could be simple comebacks, but when he says it. It's a whole new experience.

 **Tip Number 2: Don't Touch The Candy.**

Itachi is a candy addict. He can consume up to four pounds of candy a day if he wanted to. Which I'm sure he's tried. Do not take the man's candy! It's in a specific safe. Even the slightest touch (even _thinking_ about it)! Will get you on his bad side, no one wants to be on Itachi's bad side.

So let him buy his candy and walk away.

 _Bonus:_ You may–sometimes–bribe Itachi with candy or dangos. Just in case.

 **Tip Number 3: Be understanding about his personal storage.**

No I'm not talking about having his own room. Which is a good thing–side note; if he's going to share make sure it's with Kisame. No, I'm talking about his cloak, yes his cloak. The best example I can give is Mary Poppins. His cloak, is like her purse.

So try to not be so surprised (it's hard) when you see random objects like books

I hope you learned a little something about the majestic man. He's a quiet, flexible, responsible (pretty much a third leader) man. So you shouldn't have a problem.

Until next time! Bye!


	77. Chapter 77

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **I think it's a short chapter, but enough to cover important details and "plots." (not really). Also I don't like how I wrote this chapter, I did the best I could with details and figuring it out. But I couldn't make it better, it rubbed me the wrong way. But I need this chapter to advance. So sorry.**

 **Also, don't forget to help me out with Max's dream! I'm waiting in the reviews and in private messages. Open 24/7.** **Not really but I am free most of the time.**

 **(Six chapters until the dream)**

* * *

 **Max**

Seconds turned into minutes, each passing time his lips pressed harder on mine. But I didn't mind, I returned his affection by not stopping for a break. Daniel moved his hands farther down my back, gently guiding themselves on me. I ran my hand through his soft dirty blonde hair. My lungs tingled begging me to take a short break, but with his tongue lightly grazing my lips, I couldn't back down.

"You sure do have a lot of air."

My soul nearly jumped out my body as Pein stood behind the couch glowering at the two of us. Daniel cleared his throat awkwardly staring down at his legs. Pein stayed in the same spot before heading to the kitchen without saying anything else to us. We laughed breaking the awkward tension. Daniel reached into his pocket answering his phone. I took the time to fix my shirt and the cushions.

"I'll see your there," he muttered into the speaker. I raised my eyebrow. "I have to go, my roommate needs my help."

"Oh, okay," I got up meeting him to the door. "I guess I'll see you later."

Daniel sighed leaning against the door frame. "Don't give me that look," he caressed my cheek."

"What look?"

"That disappointed look," he gave a soft laugh, "I'll see you soon okay. Don't forget what I told you."

I nodded again. Daniel gently lifted my chin up pulling me so our lips would touch. I kissed him back before pulling away so he could leave.

"Text me," I called out as he turned the engine of his car on. I closed the door and faced the living room.

"MAX AND DANIEL SITTING IN A TREE! K–I–S–S–I–N–G!" Tobi screamed at the top of his lungs, running around in circles.

"Why you–," I grabbed a cushion throwing it and nailing Tobi square in the face. Sticking my tongue out I mocked him for mocking me. I stopped, seeing Pein exit the kitchen with a mug of hot chocolate. Tobi got up holding his head.

"Um, Pein," I called out still feeling a bit weirded out that he caught us… making out.

He turned around giving me a blank look. "What?"

I rocked back and forth on my heels chewing on my lip. "Well the thing is… I know it's last minute but Daniel asked me if I wanted to go with him to see a concert…."

Pein fully turned to look at me raising his eyebrow. "Ok."

"But the thing is, it's far away so I'm going to be gone for… two days."

"No."

This time _I_ raised my eyebrows. "Well, why not?" I began getting annoyed.

"You said two days?"

"Yeah," I followed along.

"That's one night, correct?" Pein continued.

I nodded.

"Do the math," he snapped walking up the stairs and into the library. I crossed my arms pouting.

What's his problem. It's two days, one night… alone. Oh. I blushed now understanding what Pein meant. Deidara walked down the stairs causing me to snap out of thoughts.

"What's up with you?" He asked jumping over the couch and setting up the console to play..

I walked back to the couch taking a seat. "Well, If I ask you a question will you try to be honest?" He shrugged. "As a nineteen year old, if you had a girlfriend and had to spend the night in a hotel. Would you take advantage of that opportunity to…"

"Have sex?" Deidara finished my sentence. He gave me a smug look and turned back to the TV. "Yeah, why? Also I'm never going to a hotel with you."

I punched him on the arm. "No, it's because I'm going on a small trip with Daniel and were staying one night in a hotel."

"Protection," Deidara snickered. I punched him again and got up to pack my bag.

Linda came into my room not long after I was finishing up. "So, the rumors are true." she muttered depressingly.

I raised an eyebrow, setting my book down. "What rumor?"

"That you're running away with your boyfriend."

"Who said that?!"

"Deidara!"

"Dei…" I pinched the bridge of my nose. That boy really is going to get it. I looked over at my phone hearing it vibrate from a text message.

"Wait, then where are you going?" Linda poked and prodded my bag.

"Daniel invited me to go to a concert, I'll only be gone for two days."

She nodded understanding that Deidara lied, and I wasn't eloping with my boyfriend.

* * *

Thursday rolled around. I put the phone back in the cup holder, looking for the next exit. Daniel tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the music playing on the radio.

"The exit after this one is the one we need to take," I pointed at to sign for the way to go home.

Daniel winked at me, gently placing his hand on my thigh. I looked out the window biting my cheek feeling my face flush. I thought about last night.

 _Flashback_

" _Wow, what a view?" I called out._

 _Daniel came over taking a look. "We're facing a wall," he said pushing the curtains more._

" _Exactly, what a view!"_

 _Daniel chuckled putting his hands on my waist getting closer. "And no one to watch us."_

 _I slipped out of his hold and peered through the window sticking my head out. "There is plenty to see. Look, a homeless person eating out a dumpster…"_

 _Daniel pulled me away from the window sill. "Don't want to bother him, he might yell at us and throw food." I nodded. He looked down at me, his smirk returning back onto his face. "Now let's continue where we left off."_

 _I grew a big rigid and shy, "I'm pretty tired why not next time?!" I smiled, "or now!" I shrieked as Daniel pulled me to him and towards the bed._

The car rolled up in front of the house coming to a stop. Daniel put the car on park and got out with me to grab my bag.

"Thanks," I took the bag swinging it over my shoulder. "I'll text or call you later."

Daniel nodded, "goodbye," he swooped down giving me a brief kiss before taking off. I watched the dirt kick up from the tires and walked to the house. Entering quietly I headed straight to my room.

The next morning Ana woke us all up to the beautiful smell of breakfast. Breakfast Pizza. She had four large pizzas sitting on the table accompanied by cups filled with orange juice.

"There are many forms of this food isn't there?" Pein pulled the chair at the end of the table and sat down examining his breakfast.

"Tobi likes pizza a lot!" Tobi jumped around the dining room before settling in his seat.

"So how did it go with Daniel?" Linda innocently asked as she drank from her cup.

Deidara smirked at me, "was it fun? Painful?"

I glared at him feeling my cheeks redden. "The concert was great thank you for asking, Deidara," I growled through my teeth. He only laughed to this.

"So really like this boy," Konan peared at my face.

"I guess…" I mumbled feeling shy again.

Hidan began laughing, "I think she really, really likes him."

Linda gasp, "do you love him!"

I didn't answer until everyone calmed down letting me speak. "Well, I can't say love… seems a bit much, but…" I fidgeted with the crust of my pizza. "I really like him," I finally admitted out loud.

"Cool story," Ana said without a care. "It's your turn to get groceries."

I shrugged, "sure, I have to go out anyways. I forgot my wallet in Daniel's car so might as well go get it after I'm done."

Ana got up to get me the list she wrote down.

"Does anyone have anything they want me to get?" I looked around the room but no one said anything.

Ana came back giving me the list and the "all" card. (All card–we use it for groceries and when we break something. Like the window in the cabin house). I walked out the dining room and headed to the front door grabbing my keys. Opening the door I ran out to the Volkswagen.

* * *

 **I had a pretty hard time writing this chapter. I knew what the beginning, middle and end was, I think I couldn't write it because I know what's happening next. Like, I got bad vibes when I wrote this, as if I don't want to acknowledge what the next big thing is. I don't know.**

 **Heh, sorry for spoilers.**

 **Also, if I'm not putting chapters out, I apologize in advance. I got the book** _ **It**_ **by Stephen King for a project. And I need to be in the zone so I can get far in one month. Also Sorry for not posting earlier this week I needed to focus more on my school work.**

 **So, I apologize for any inconveniences.**


	78. Poor Maxine

**Linda: *sips hot chocolate* Hehe. You know by this point what it means when I sip hot chocolate.**

 **Enjoy**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS AND STORYLINE.**

 **Don't forget to leave any ideas on Max's dream–you can drop it at the PM or reviews.**

 **(Five chapters until the dream)**

* * *

 **Ana**

The Akatsuki helped put dishes in the sink finally thanking me for the food. It's about time that I got some recognition around here. I clean and cook, whatever, I least no one annoys me while doing it.

"Wait, did we include grapes on the grocery list?" Hidan asked before walking out the dining room.

"Yes, you were there when I was making it," I reminded him. He walked out satisfied that he was getting his damn grapes.

I rolled my eyes and continued washing the dishes. After that I went to the living room hearing a lot of yelling. Some of the Akatsuki members were playing a new racing game I bought on my Xbox. Which I think they forget that it's mine and I should have the rights of being not only first player but being able to play–period. Goldilocks grabbed the controller from Kisame and took his spot on the couch, Tobi grabbed one from Hidan getting ready to play with his senpai. They chose the setting and type of car they wanted to race in, the members around them placing bets. And in all honesty I may dislike him, but I think Goldilocks will win. He's recently been playing on the Xbox for quite a long time now. Kakuzu placed his money on the table with the rest, all of them stacked next to each other.

"Who's betting for Tobi?" Tobi asked getting more comfortable in his seat. He glanced around waiting for someone to say something but everyone kept silent. He slouched depressingly in his seat. Linda got up putting a paper clip on the coffee table patting his shoulder. That didn't really cheer him up.

"Get ready!" the TV blared, causing me to lower the volume down a bit. "3… 2… 1!"

Goldilocks and Tobi raced out pressing buttons and moving the sticks to make their cars go as fast as the could possibly make them go. Surprisingly, Tobi was able to keep close, fairly close. Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu yelled at Goldilocks that if he lost and made them lose money they'll personally rip him apart. The two jumped around making the last lap. Neck to neck they grew closer to the flag.

"I'm going to murder you… you. Achoo!" Goldilocks sneezed last minute making him swerv a bit. But he was able to quickly regain his control, just not quick enough...

I raised my hand up covering my mouth in disbelief. The three men blinked not believing the outcome. Their eyes darkened looking over at Linda with the intent to kill. She back away in fear.

"Yay! Tobi won!" Tobi jumped around dancing in celebration at his win.

Goldilocks trembled in anger his face getting red. He looked over at Linda and Tobi. "I'm going to murder the both of you!" he fumed.

"Not if we kill him first!" Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu jumped out at Tobi. He screamed pushing Linda to the side and ran away with the three chasing after him.

Linda backed away from the angry Akatsuki member taking a seat far away from him. I sighed taking the controller putting it on another level.

"Wanna play or do you need time to control your sneezing?"

Goldilocks snatched the other controller, "fuck you," he growled. Linda kneeled down getting eye level with the money.

"So is this mine?"

"Yes," he sulked.

She looked over all the bills counting under her breath. "$5oo."

I blew a whistle out, "any idea on what to use it on?"

She didn't say anything at first. But a smile crept on her facing telling me that she had an idea. Linda knee walked over to Goldilocks handing him a twenty. "Here's money," he raised an eyebrow. "For you to go and buy me that pig that you destroyed. Remember that? I sure do."

He growled getting in her face, "I will NEVER BUY YOU A FUCKING STUFFED PIG!"

"YOU OWN ME, MONSTER!"

She ran off getting away just in time before Goldilocks strangled her neck with his hands.

"We playing or what?" I distracted the boy from killing my sister. He growled and took his seat.

"Ana," I heard Pein make his way to the couch. Goldilocks and I were on our third round, I have to get another win to tie with him. "Did you clean the couch like I asked you?"

"Yeah, I did that yesterday," I didn't looked at him so I could keep my on one the prize. "Why exactly did you want me to clean it, it didn't look dirty."

"Oh it was dirty all right…" I heard Pein grumbled under his breath. He took a seat on the chair opening up a newspaper.

"Who's winning?" Linda made her way back to us taking a seat on the other couch, creating a triangle between the four of us.

"If I win this then we'll have to play another one."

"But if I win this one then I win all of them," Goldilocks said.

We reached the last lap, the music went faster trying to make those playing this game freak out. But I already know this trick. Goldilocks moved around trying to distract me, playing dirty, I put my arms out doing the same.

"Winner!" The host screamed at us. Why did we choose the gothic town? The announcer always screams at us as if he's in a screamo band.

"Damn it," I heard Goldilocks curse.

"I win," I glanced over at him giving a dirty smirk. "It's your turn to choose the place."

The front door burst open startling most of us–except Pein. A figure sprinted past us at the speed of lightening running up the stairs, whimpering as it went. The four of us didn't say anything awkwardly looking at each other. Linda got up hesitantly heading towards the door taking a peek outside.

"Well?" Pein lead her on.

"It's… the Volkswagen?"

"Max?"

Goldilocks scoffed, "please, that can't be Max."

I raised my eyebrow, "and why not, is that some random lady?"

"Well, she doesn't have any groceries and Max can't cry." He stated crossing his arms in a cocky manner.

Linda and I looked at one another ready to drop facts on this boy. "Have you ever seen Max watch anime, especially Naruto?"

He shook his head.

"She basically cries when her favorite dies," Linda shook her head depressingly.

"Oh," Goldilocks began, "did she cry when I died?" He asked flattering himself.

"No," I said bluntly, "but she did fangirl when you ripped your shirt off."

"Ripped my shirt off–huh!" he grew excited.

I squinted my eyes glaring at him, "you're being really narcissistic today, douchebag."

"Well you're a bitch!"

"Douchebag!"

"Bitch!"

"Dick!"

"Whore!"

"Ass wipe!"

"Hey!" Pein snapped looming over us. Goldilocks and I shut up not wanting to make him angrier–we looked up at him as if we were children in trouble, and he was the supreme father.

"Go up stairs with Linda," he said to me, "and find out what's wrong with Max."

I nodded getting up and pulling Linda along before she questioned him, which could result in him getting more annoyed. Konan walked out the library just as we were passing by.

"Hey, Konan, want to join us?" My sister invited.

Konan closed the door behind her looking at us suspiciously. "Join you where?"

"To see what's wrong with Max."

Konan didn't say anything and followed us to the other girl's room. I leaned my ear close to the door putting my finger to my lips so Konan and Linda wouldn't make a sound.

I closed my eyes concentrating on all the sounds in her room. On the other side of the door I heard a hiccuped breathing being muffled by something. I put my hand to the doorknob gently pushing on the handle.

 _Locked_

"Max?" I knocked on the door. The muffling stopped, making the room silent. "Are you okay?"

"Go away…" a voice croaked, whispering back at me. This grabbed the attention of Linda and Konan.

"Max let us in," Linda pushed on the door. Her pupils quivered–absorbing the sad energy that was radiating everywhere. Her eyes watering a bit. "Please tell us! We don't like it when you cry." She continued insisting.

"I said GO AWAY!" Max yelled causing the three of us to step back. " _Goawaygoawaygoaway!"_ She began crying again, "leave me ALONE!"

Konan gestured us back to the living room. We quietly walked down heading back to Pein who went back to reading the newspaper. I blew a breath out taking a seat. I didn't realize that I'd been holding my breath in.

"Well?" Pein asked flipping the paper to a new section.

"It seems that whatever happened really made Max upset," Konan muttered somberly.

"Perhaps she got in a fight with Daniel, she said that she was going over there." Goldilocks stated as he played by himself. I shrugged, looking down at my phone. It was close to lunchtime, perhaps I'll try again later.

* * *

Linda kneeled down in front of Max's door while I remained standing.

"C'mon," she pleaded, "Max talk to us, I don't like it when you cry."

I put my hand on the door getting closer to it, my voice lowering. "What happened?"

"I GOT CHEATED ON!" she screamed at us. "HUH! THAT'S WHAT YOU WANTED TO KNOW! I GOT CHEATED ON, DANIEL CHEATED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. DOING IT UNDER MY NOSE!"

Linda and I looked at each other not believing a single word she was yelling at us. I stepped even closer to the door, "what?"

"Leave… leave me alone," she began crying, I could tell she was trying her best to hold it back by all the muffling. "Just… leave…" she whispered in defeat.

I looked down motioning my head to Linda that it's best to leave. I took her hand walking back over to the stairs.

"Meow," I stopped in front of the library. Opening the door Juuzou walked out from his nap and headed towards Max's room. I watched as he scratched and meowed at her door.

"Go away, Juuzou," I heard her whisper, "I want to be left alone."

I quickly walked over picking Juuzou up so he wouldn't get her mad. At first he squirmed in my arms, but stopped, accepting his fate.

The Akatsuki were still sitting in the dinning room after dinner waiting for the two of us so Pein could start the meeting.

"Well, Akatsuki, we have a fellow person/friend who is heartbroken." he began. "I will allow Linda and Ana to explain better." Pein handed the attention to us

"So, did you find out what happened?" Goldilocks asked taking a forkful of Itachi's cake. The Uchiha glared at him but didn't say anything. By now everyone was caught up from what happened before dinner. Goldilocks explained as we pulled in the groceries.

"Well… the thing is…." Linda shuffled her feet around.

"Max… Daniel cheated on Max," I said to them.

Everyone began speaking at once.

"To think!" one yelled out, "I thought he was a good guy," Kisame shaked his head.

"How dare he do that to my partner in crime," Hidan shook his head.

"What a dick." Sasori stated bluntly.

"Actors…" Sasuke muttered under his breath.

"Poor girl," White Zetsu muttered. " **Does that mean we have permission to eat the little shit?** "

Pein narrows his eyes in a deathly glare. "On my couch…"

What's up with Pein and the damn couch?

"Disgusting."

Everyone trailed off and looked in my direction. I looked over at Linda who had her hands clenched. "If you don't like someone, or if you're going to cheat, then break up!"

Kakuzu snorted, "who broke up with you, snowflake?"

She pouted crossing her arms, "I'm just saying that…It can create lots of problems in the future." This caused me to squirm uncomfortably.

"Well the only thing we can do is give Max some space," I advised everyone.

"And being there for her," Itachi pointed out to Linda and I. We nodded.

Pein dismissed everyone from the meeting letting us go back to what we were doing. Linda had told me that she was going to take a nap and since Juuzou stayed in Max's room he'd stay with her.

"Yeah, but can we talk first?" I asked following her to the room.

"Sure," Linda opened the door letting me in her room. I grabbed the chair by the desk and pulled it to the edge of the bed meeting Linda.

"I just wanted to talk to you about cheating," I said awkwardly. I have to be the one telling her things.

"I know, I know. It's not good and never cheat."

"Unless?"

"Unless you betted with Kakuzu or your life is on the line."

I laughed ruffling Linda's hair. "But seriously, it can do some serious damage, especially what you said about the future." She nodded following every word I said. "So be careful if you ever date someone, and try to take things slow to really get to know them and who they really are. But don't get so paranoid." She nodded again.

I got up, "alright, I'll let you take a nap. Have fun with another nap, Juuzou." he meowed at me and jumped on Linda's bed taking the empty spot beside her.

"Ana?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you," Linda got up and leaned up giving me a kiss on the cheek. Which threw me a bit off guard as she hasn't done that in years.

"Sure," I closed the door behind me.

My fist clenched getting mad at this cheating thing, that guy came here and played the part of a good boyfriend. ' _What an asshole thing to do,'_ I thought, _'_ … _and yet… a cheater will get loved some how in the end…'_

I took a deep breath relaxing myself, walking down the stairs. "Hey, Goldilocks, I bet I can beat you at another round."


	79. Stanger No Danger If Itachi Says So

**Ana: To be or not to be** **–**

 **Linda: What's that?**

 **Ana: Oh it's Hamlet, I found the book in the library.**

 **Linda: What's it about?**

 **Ana: Some guy** **–**

 **Linda: Yeah real specific!**

 **Ana: Maybe if you'd let me finish. He's a guy named Hamlet who's father died and his mom got married to his uncle.**

 **Linda: Eww!**

 **Ana: They aren't siblings so it's not as bad. Hamlet sees a ghost of his father saying that his uncle kills him for the throne.**

 **Linda: is that what happened?**

 **Ana *shrug*: no idea I haven't gotten far yet.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **Thank you, Corsair175, Rei–Nao, and Tenryu-Yoko for favoriting and following the story and me.**

 **Don't forget to help me with Max's dream!**

 **And don't forget to review!**

* * *

 **Linda**

I wiggled my toes, yawning from my sleep. "What time is it…" I mumbled grabbing my iPod and taking a look. "it's only eight–thirty."

After making my bed I went into the bathroom to shower. The door opened as Juuzou pushed his way in ignoring my privacy.

"Meow."

"Juuzou… I am showering, and you are in the bathroom." I said, "do you know what privacy means?" I waited but didn't hear anything. I pushed the curtain back wondering if he left, but Juuzou remained, sitting on the sink licking his paws and fur.

"Don't you ever get tired of cleaning yourself," that's when it hit me. An idea, not Juuzou.

I shut the water off after rinsing the conditioner out of my hair and putting the cover on the drainer filling the tub up. I got out–shivering–and walked to the sink grabbing the bubbles (bubble gum scented). I filled the cap three times draining it on the tub to make as many bubbles as possible.

"Alright Juuzou, time for a bath." He got up and began backing away knowing exactly what a bath was. I closed the door locking it before letting the cat out. I swooped Juuzou up and got in the bath with him so we could get clean.

"Meow," he hissed digging his claws in me.

"Ow," I tossed and turned fighting with him. "Juuzou you need to get clean!"

After about an hour of fighting and cleaning, Juuzou and I got out squeaky clean. I wrapped a towel around him drying him off the best I could. After getting dressed I pulled the blow dryer out drying Juuzou to the point his fur was standing directly up. I laughed at him smoothing the fur back down.

"Hey, Linda, it's time for breakfast," Kisame called from outside.

The two of us walked out heading to the kitchen for breakfast. Juuzou ran ahead of me going directly to his food dish. He sat down looked as each member pass, waiting for someone to serve him. Ana filled his bowl setting the bag to the side and putting more plates out.

"Did she eat?" Pein asked taking his seat at the end of the table.

"But Juuzou's a boy?" I said.

"I didn't mean the cat," Pein snapped, "I meant Maxine. Did you leave a plate of food at her door?" He asked my sister.

Ana set the milk and orange juice on the table sitting down next to me. "Yeah," she sighed, "but she hasn't eaten since Friday."

"That's two–day," Pein sounded irritated.

"Wait," Kisame stopped him. "Today?"

"No, he meant Two days," Deidara clarified.

Tobi put his hand up, "he said today, he never put an S at the end."

"I meant!" Pein raised his voice at everyone. "That that girl hasn't eaten in two dayS!"

Everyone nodded saying, "oh" at the misinterpretation.

"So why does that concern us?" Kakuzu raised his coffee cup up looking bored.

Konan cleared her throat and stood up to speak with us. "Well, she is a friend." we continued staring making Konan sigh. "Because there's a prize included. What if we make a small competition? The first one to get Max out of her room wins something." She looked down at Kakuzu, "including money."

He sighed, "that's my weakness, women."

"What if you don't like money?" Hidan asked, "can I just get a sacrifice?"

Konan shrugged, "whatever you want?"

"A human?"

"Sure."

"Clay?"

"Why not?"

"Money?"

"We'll negotiate the amount."

"Candy?"

"Okay…"

I gasped, "can I get a pet pig?!"

Konan shrugged, "can you get Max out of her room?"

Pein sighed rubbing the side of his head. "Do what you please." Giving us the permission, everyone jumped from their seats running up stairs. The Akatsuki and I trampled over each other getting to Max's room first. Itachi calmly walked by after us, Sasuke following along out of curiosity.

"First," Hidan smirked. He pulled his scythe out and knocked on the girl's door. "If you don't come out I'm coming in to kill you."

"Go ahead…" she muffled back.

Kisame rubbed the back of his head. "That's just sad… My turn!" He pushed Hidan to the side and swung his leg aiming and smashing it next to the door knob. But surprisingly, it didn't break, it probably didn't even move!

"Ow, ow, ow. What the hell is that door made of?!" Kisame hopped around on one foot grabbing onto the other.

"Pathetic," Deidara said walking over to the door. "I got this…" he unbuttoned his cloak loudly, leaning to the crease of the door. "If you come out, I'll let you see me strip."

Ana walked over hitting Deidara on the forehead. "Really? Whoring out was your plan?" She pushed him back to his place letting someone else go.

"It's no use," Sasuke stated.

I frowned, "but you didn't ever try."

"I went to go see if I could get in through the window and control her with the Sharingan. But I couldn't break in."

"The windows are bulletproof," Ana stated. "She's really paranoid."

"About an attack?"

"No about birds. She doesn't want to relive what happened to her in the third grade. A bird came in fast, breaking her window and flapping around her room." I retold. She freaked out and screamed her way down the street before her dad got hold of the bird letting it out. Ana and I found her an hour later hiding in the dumpster.

Ana pushed her glasses up, "maybe that's what triggered her to get Ornithophobia." she shrugged and headed back to the stairway. We followed along back to Pein who was sitting on the couch reading a book.

"So?" he asked already aware of what happened. "Did you succeed?" Konan looked up from doing origami.

"No," Kakuzu said.

"She wouldn't say anything either," I sighed taking a seat next to Pein. "It's depressing."

"Well, Kakuzu, Sasori, and Itachi haven't tried yet," Ana said.

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow, "and make a fool of myself," he said directing it at Kisame.

Sasori sat down picking up a magazine to read. "I have to agree with Kakuzu."

I puffed my cheeks out resting my head in my hands. I really want a pet pig. How can I get Max out of her room? "Wait!" I jumped up getting everyone's attention. "Itachi? You haven't gone yet, why don't you give it a try?!"

Itachi looked up from reading his small hand sized book. "You want me to try now?" he gave us a blank look.

"Yeah," Konan said, "that's kinda the whole idea."

He sighed taking the house phone and exiting out going into the kitchen. Ana frowned, "what's he doing… in my kitchen?"

"Since when as that been _your_ kitchen?" Deidara asked.

"Since ever," she glared at him, "I'm the only one who cooks, even before Akatsuki Corporation."

"Pft. Nonsense."

Ana's eye twitched, "you think you can cook?"

Deidara laughed, "it's not that hard."

Kisame snorted, "of course he needs to know how to cook. He needs to feed his husband… Itachi."

"HEY! SHUT UP WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT!"

Itachi came back from the kitchen putting the phone away. "My… plan should begin in about ten minutes maybe twenty."

I frowned, "don't tell me you just ordered Chinese take out?"

He shook his head.

For ten minutes the Akatsuki played a board game I got out. _Risk: the board game of pretty much being a dictator and betraying those around you when you've slowly build your empire._ Right now my allies are Kisame, Tobi, and Deidara. But total the players was Kisame, Itachi, Deidara, Tobi, Zetsu, and I.

" **If you don't give me your land I'll eat you in your sleep, Tobi,** " Black Zetsu threatened.

"Ahh!"

"That's not fair," White Zetsu said looking guilty. " **Oh shut it, cocksucker.** "

"If only Max could see what I meant," Ana said frustratingly. She's still trying to get Max to believe her that Zetsu, in fact, does say that insulting nickname.

The doorbell ringed (which hasn't ranged in a while) making all of us stop what we were doing. It ranged again, we just all awkwardly looked at each other waiting to see who could go up first. Itachi got up heading to the door.

"Wait," I whispered loudly. "We have to see who it is."

"Yeah, no one really knows where we live. Other than the girls," Kisame referred to the auction awhile back.

"And the other person is–"

"Him," Pein stated darkly, interrupting Sasuke. I gulped, looking back over at the door. Itachi turned the doorknob opening the door up. But no one was standing directly at the door.

"Thank you for coming," Itachi greeted. He stepped to the side opening the door wider.

To my surprise, a stranger walked in pulling their sunglasses up. "No problem," Stranger laughed. "Hm," they looked over noticing the rest of us. The stranger turns their body towards us. "Where are my manners…. I'm Josie."

* * *

I examined the person standing at the door. She had slim long legs, a pink lemonade skirt with a tucked in white long sleeve shirt. She wore gray flats and a purse matching her skirt.

Pein got up making me snap back to reality. He walked over to where Itachi was pulling him to the side. "What's the meaning of this," he whispered.

Itachi shrugged, "just winning the competition."

"It's a pleasure to me you," Josie held her hand out waiting for Pein to shake it.

Hesitantly he introduces himself. "Pein."

Konan stood up introducing herself, "Konan."

Josie gawked a bit, "you have such beautiful hair. Earlier this year I was thinking of dyeing my hair around that color, but didn't think I could pull it off!"

Konan pushed a piece of hair back seeming a bit embarrassed. "Thank you."

Josie went around getting to know the other members before heading up to Max's room. She stopped at me peering at my face. I slightly blushed feeling a bit awkward.

"I can tell that you're Linda, you look the youngest." she smiled. Getting up close I noticed that she had soft green eyes and a beauty mark on her cheek bone. There was a faint speck of freckles lightly places around her nose. She stood up and made it back to where Itachi was.

Hidan got up giving a light smirk. "Hidan," he immediately began flirting.

"I can tell, with Max's descriptions it's easy to point you out."

"Really, and what exactly are these descriptions?"

She smiled, "you look like an asshole with a loud mouth."

Kakuzu snorted, "wow, so accurate."

Josie stepped closer to him, "but you're also the sexiest one."

Hidan raised an eyebrow, "she said that?"

"No, those are my words." Josie brushed past him heading up the stairs. "I'll see what I can do!" she called waving to us.

Hidan smirked, "she's hot."

I rolled my eyes and leaned back into the couch. If she get's Max out of her room does that mean Itachi wins, or Josie? On the plus side, Max will be out socializing with us. But on the downside, I lose. If Itachi's plan doesn't work then I have to use the perfect plan to get her out. (I really want a pig).

"Hey, Ana," I leaned over to my sister. "I think I have a plan."

"What is it?"

I lowered my voice so no one could hear me. "We can make a huge plate of pasta and lure her out of her room."

"Like fishing?"

"Maybe." I giggled and got up clapping my hands. I pulled Ana to the kitchen to get started.

"Where are you two going?" Sasuke asked.

I giggled turning around. "Just Plan B!" I ran to the kitchen to begin boiling the water.

* * *

 **AN: I apologize for neglecting the story and everyone. I was drowning in a sea of homework/school. But excuses aside I was also a bit lazy.**

 **Sorry**

 **Anyways, I'm trying my best to put as many chapters as I can. (Plus its spring break so that's AMAZING)**

 **Don't forget to review, even if it's to yell at me.**

 **Also if you couldn't tell. I finished Hamlet two weeks ago so.**

 **And I haven't been on Twitter a lot, but HOLY HELL released an official app! It's fairly easy and well done. I haven't seen any ads and it doesn't crash (for me). The only downside is when you "download" a story you can't read offline. But it's pretty good, kinda useless if you think about it. (same as the website). Let me know what you think.**

 **PS. If you say it's to read better on mobile. Safari has a small button on the top left corner that blows the page up for mobile devices. Just in case no one knew…**


	80. Papa Pein

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **I apologize I really want to post but I'm honestly a mess. I wanted to work during spring break but I ended up working on another story.**

 **Anyways, enjoy.**

* * *

 **Max**

 _I put the car in park shutting the engine off and getting out. I shouldn't take too long, I'll just grab my wallet and leave._

 _I made my way up the last steps and turning to the right I stopped in front of Daniel's apartment. I waited a bit after knocking wondering if he or his roommate was even home._

" _Maybe I should come back another time," I mumbled. I got startled by the door swinging open._

" _Yeah?" a guy leaned against the doorframe._

" _Oh, um…I was wondering if Dan_ _–"_

" _Who's at the door?"_

 _I looked past the guy to see a woman in only underwear and a long t–shirt. I slightly redden feeling as if I was interrupting something personal. "Oh, I didn't know I was interrupting something?"_

" _Who's at the door." My face brightens hearing Daniels voice from the back._

 _The woman turned back and called, "probably your roommate's girlfriend, babe!"_

 _My smile slowly dissolved feeling something pang in my heart. I pushed past the guy at the door making my way to the hallway. Once I entered the room I thought that he'd be fumbling to make his room nice. That he would babble on talking about how he messed up, how he was sorry. Telling me that he cared about me and he was stupid but… When I entered he just sat there, staring at me with almost cold eyes._

" _What are you doing here," he sighed reaching for a lighter and cigarette._

 _I shivered. This person, I don't know this person. "Why?" I spat out._

 _He walked over to me taking a drag. "Cuz you're boring. Well, you're interesting but sexually boring." He puffed the smoke onto my face peering at it._

 _I wanted to punch him so hard. Scratch, kick, bite! But I remained frozen, just trembling with anger._

" _Congrats, you are the only girl who I couldn't get to sleep with me."_

 _My eyes widen, "did you only date me to…"_

 _Daniel smirked, "just to sleep with you, yeah…but that failed," he grumbled. I stepped back not believing a single word he was saying. The room and hallway began spinning getting me dizzy. He turned around walking back in. Daniel glanced over his shoulder at me. "Leave."_

 _I slowly turned, heading back to the kitchen seeing my wallet on the counter. I reached for it briefly checking if everything was still inside. (It was)._

" _I steal hearts not money," Daniel sighed as he leaned against the wall._

 _I glared at him through my hair. "Burn in hell!" I spat stomping out of the apartment. My blood was boiling, I felt furious, depressed, manipulated, humiliated. But as I ran down the stairs everything grew blurry, my memory. Except for his laugh ringing in my head._

 _The good laugh that we shared, and the bad one that he left me with._

"Knock, Knock!"

I snapped my eyes open staring at the white ceiling above me. The fan slowly spinning taking its time on cooling me. My door knocks again.

"Go away!" I snapped.

The door opened making me sit up. "I said–!" I stopped. My scowl dropping. "Josie?"

She returned a sly smile. "That's me!" She closed the door taking a seat beside me. "How have you been?"

I snorted, "perfectly fine."

"I see we're sarcastic. It's not surprising."

My eyebrow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Josie sighed rubbing her forehead. She stared at the wall for a bit before looking at me. "Well because I knew that Daniel is a player."

My eyes widen, "what!?"

She nodded, "whether I like it or not he's my step–cousin. My step uncle's son."

"So why would let me date him!"

She got closer putting her finger up to silence me. "I didn't. I was talking about another guy but you, unfortunately, met Daniel at the theater party."

"So why, why did you let me date him!? Why did you not stop me?!"

Josie got closer to my face, "because you wouldn't have believed me."

I open my mouth to retort, "yes I–"

"No, you wouldn't." She whispered making me calm down a bit.

I slumped back on the pillows narrowing my eyes in shame. Josie lifted my chin smiling at me. "Don't be like that. Hm?" She glanced over her shoulder before looking back at me. "It seems we have a visitor!" She grinned.

Josie got up from my bed opening my door. Juuzou came running in jumping on my bed and nuzzles his way towards me sniffing me.

I held him close as he tried licking me. "I'm sorry," I muttered. "For neglecting you and being selfish." I closed my eyes and inhaled. They snapped open frowning. "Why do you smell like bubble gum?"

"Ahem!" I looked up to see Josie standing at the doorway holding her hand out. "I think it's time for you to say hello."

I sighed, there's no use I can't stay in my room forever. Although that does sound very pleasing. I got up dragging my gross self towards the stairs. My hair was tangled and dirty, my sweater stained and wrinkles. I was in loose sweatpants and mix match socks that had a tear near the heel.

"Alright, plan B is finished!" Linda stopped in her tracks. Her smile still frozen on her face as she looked down at the plate of chicken pasta. "Nevermind."

I snatch the plate taking it with me as I threw myself on the couch. I realized that there was no fork, but did that stop me? I grabbed the noodles with my hand letting the sauce run down my fingers.

"That's nasty," I glared up at Linda, she steps back intimated. "You look lovely. Dirty hands always add flavor."

I continue eating with my hand feeling everyone's eyes on me. I slumped down feeling even more awkward. "What!" I finally snapped at all thirteen of them.

"She's so heartbroken that she's looking disgusting in front of her trio," Sasuke comments which earned him a middle finger from me. I set the plate on the coffee table and leaned back hugging one of the cushions wiping my hand on my sweatshirt.

Josie reached over pulling on my right cheek. "What do you mean? She looks great!"

Deidara snorted, "yeah, sauce face looks real attractive." he said in the most sarcastic tone. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. A load of sauce came off but I licked it off.

This caused Josie to sigh and shake her head. "Alright, come one I'm getting you cleaned up," she pulls me from the couch and pushes me to the direction of my room.

"Why don't we get you some fresh air," Pein suggested.

"We can get ice cream!" Linda suggested.

Kisame rubbed his chin, "that doesn't sound too bad, Little Guppy."

I sighed as the two of us make it to my room. Josie turned the shower on putting it on warm, as I finish showering Josie handed me a towel. But before I could stop her she turned the knob on cold.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" I slammed my hand down on the handle shutting it off.

"It's to wake you up!" she laughed closing the door behind her. I shiver as I dry myself off and get out. On the bed is a pair of black ripped jeans and white t–shirt. After getting on my undergarments I put my clothes on and sat at my vanity. Josie pulled some makeup out and curling iron.

"Ow!"

"Sorry, but your hair is really tangled," Josie took her time combing my hair and getting the knots out. She blow dried and curled it.

After about half an hour she steps back clapping. "Wow! I'm good." She tossed me my leather jacket and we walked back to the living room. I sighed running my hand through my hair.

"The new and improved Max!" Josie called walking down. I stared down at my feet walking past the Akatsuki and go over beside the girls.

"Good job," Konan came over and smiled at me. "You look wonderful."

I muttered thanks and pushed a piece of hair back. Linda oohed and hurried us for ice cream.

"I know this ice cream shop where it looks like a bar and there's a bartender who gives dessert," Josie suggested. "It's quite fun."

The Akatsuki glanced around nodding that it was ok. We all got outside in the somewhat cold weather. I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to see Ana holding the keys to the Volkswagen to me. I smile and take it.

"Just follow me," Josie waved off getting into her car. I deeply sighed and entered the driver's seat. I ran a hand through my hair and waited till everyone was inside the car.

Truth be told I just wanted to get out the car and go back inside. I sighed one last time and turned the engine on.

* * *

 **Third**

Linda tapped her chin thinking what to get. There was so much on the menu it was impossible. "I just don't know!"

"Well hurry up he's waiting for you," Ana grumbled leaning her arms on the counter.

The man laughed, "why don't I just start you off with something simple like a small chocolate milkshake?"

"Strawberry please," Linda requested. He walked to the back to grab the ingredients for almost everyone's dessert.

Max sipped the only thing she ordered, a lemonade. "I just don't understand why I'm here."

"Because you're butthurt," Sasuke said over his shoulder. Which resulted in him getting another middle finger.

"Fresh air," Itachi said more sympathetically.

Josie nudged Max, "and that. Hotties four o'clock."

Max slowly turned her head towards the door as a group of four boys made their way inside chatting to themselves. They quickly noticed the full counter which seats nine. Max looked at the "leader" he glanced around at everyone, his eyes passing and looking back at Max's. They stared at one another for a bit before Max looked down at her drink acting as if it was the most important thing in the world.

"I got you," Josie winked and got off her chair. "So, Itachi tell me more about dangos." The two walked over to the table where Sasuke was sitting at. Next to Kakuzu and Sasori's table.

Max felt vulnerable sitting by herself. She felt something brush against her, taking a chance, Max looked to see the boy sitting next to her. He flashed a smile.

"Hey."

Max looked down at the drink before looking back up at him. "Hey…" she said a bit awkward. Just barely, she felt something brushed her left side where Itachi was sitting. She sneaked a glance seeing another boy sitting.

"Keith."

"Max."

"Tim."

Max to her left and nodded, "Max," she repeated. Oh boy.

"That's a really interesting name," Keith smiled, "is it short for something?" Max nodded.

"Is it short of Maximilian?" Tim asked with a lot of enthusiasm. Max stared at him wondering if he was serious or just joking.

"It's short for Maxine," Max whipped her head in surprise as Keith jinxed her. "How…"

He gave a short laugh, "I have a classmate with the same name. It's a pretty one."

Max shrunken a bit feeling herself blush. "Just as pretty as you," she heard Tim muttered making her blush a bit harder. She didn't know how to feel or react with two boys hitting on her. Part of her wanted to enjoy the free compliments and conversation. But her most powerful and sadder part thought they just wanted to get her happy. Lure her to them so they could just sleep with her, take turns and watch.

Max coughed a bit pushing that thought out of her mind. She wants to be open minded but her trust in everyone… seemed to have been destroyed along with her heart. (Man that's cheesy, she thought.)

"So–"

"Max."

The three stiffened up a bit hearing a low cold voice behind them. They slowly turned around seeing Pein looming over them, a shadowing cast over his face. "How are you gentleman doing this evening."

Max lowered her head feeling more embarrassed! Just what is Pein doing?!

Keith cleared his throat a bit feeling intimidated by this scary pierced man. "We're doing fine this evening."

"And you?" Tim squeaked like a scared little mouse.

Pein simply nodded, "I'm doing well. But–"

"But…" the two boys shook a bit seeing his eyes darken.

"I don't think I like how you're trying to seduce her."

Keith and Tim looked at each other and looked back at Pein. "Sorry, we didn't know you two were dating."

Pein's scary shadow and aura disappeared as he just stared at them. "Ew, no."

"There goes my self–esteem," Max calmly whispered to herself.

"But do continue trying to exit the situation," Pein sounded almost amused. Almost.

The two guys looked at each other and slowly got off the chairs muttering a bye and quickly going with their other two friends. Pein took Keith's seat grabbing a cup of tea he was just handed. Max stared incredulously at him.

"I don't want you talking to boys. They are perverted freaks." He sipped his tea acting as if what he said was normal.

Max stared at him finally snapping. Her cheeks were now red with humiliation and anger. "Excuse me!"

Her yelling brought the attention of the other members. Pein raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"What do you mean what?! You can't just pull a stunt like that off and then tell me what to do!"

"Last time I checked I can." He said trying to keep his voice down.

Max wasn't, "we'll check again!" She got up from her chair resulting in Pein getting up towering over her.

The other members watch from the sides. "You know, Leader has been acting quite strange," Kisame said.

"I can handle myself, you didn't have to be so rude to those guys they meant well!" Max continued raising her voice.

"Did they?"

She opened her mouth but didn't have anything to say. She too thought they had other intentions.

"Do you think this has to do with that wand?" Sasuke asked.

Ana shrugged, "Konan, you know him better than we do. Can you tell us." She looked behind the group at Konan. Konan, however, looked away acting as if the ceiling fans were more important. "Konan?"

The Akatsuki looked back at Max and Pein as they got more mad at each other.

"And then going out like that." Pein shook his head.

"This is _my_ body. I can wear makeup if I want you to, I can wear heels if I damn feel like it!"

"You are 15 years old."

"You can't boss me!"

"Yes, I can, because I'm the adult and leader."

Max threw her hands up. "Of the Akatsuki! I'm not an Akatsuki member!"

Hidan suddenly began laughing earning strange looks from his comrades.

"What's so funny?" Sasori looked to his left.

"You guys think Pein has a thing for Max. Why else would he get jealous?"

Ana opened her mouth to retort but couldn't find anything to support her claim.

"No," Linda said rubbing her chin thinking very hard. "He's jealous yes I'll agree with you on that, Hidan. But not because he likes her. It's something!" The girl tapped her foot trying to figure out what it was!

Just then a man who looked a bit tipsy came from the back. He stood next to the fight

"That _hiccup_ is a big fight. Why don't a pretty girl like you come into my _safety_ ," he slurred at the blonde hair individual.

Deidara's eye twitched profusely from the drunk man's insult. "I am a man."

"Sure babe, c'mon sweetie!"

Deidara grabbed the drunk man around his neck glaring at him. "If you haven't noticed, I have a really deep voice!" Deidara snapped. "Fine. I'll prove it!" This was to the man and the insults from the Akatsuki.

Deidara ripped his cloak off setting it to the side. He lifted the end of his shirt biting down on it to keep it from falling.

"What are you–" Itachi cut himself off as Deidara grabbed his waistband of both pants and underwear.

Kisame nearly dived to Linda slapping his hand over her eyes. Kakuzu covered Ana's eyes. Deidara pulled both clothing items down exposing his… manly area.

Pein covered Max's eyes but was half a second too late. Her face reddens as she caught a glimpse of one of her trio's more… intimate…place.

"Look at this glory," Deidara smirked at everyone.

"Pull. Your. Damn. Pants. Up!" Sasori snapped. Deidara simply nodded and pulled them up.

Max moved Pein's hand away from her eyes feeling a bit disappointed. "Why did you cover my face…"

Pein glared at her, "for a very obvious reason."

"What if I wanted to see it. You've never cared about what I've watched," she frowned.

Pein crossed his arms, "well maybe you should start being careful on what you watch."

"Stop bossing me around!"

"Deal with it!"

Linda jumped up and down making Kisame and Ana stare concerningly at her. "It's on the tip of my tongue!" she said referring to the word she was still trying to figure out.

"You don't have any right to boss me around!" Linda gasped as it finally came to her. Just as Max yelled it out. "Who do you think you are, my father?!" Pein opened his mouth but closed it again.

"THAT'S IT! The magic from the wand! Since, Max, Tobi, and Pein got most of the glitter so it's more "permanent." Max can understand cats! Tobi turns into a bad boy when his mask is off!–"

"Tobi doesn't know what you're talking about," Tobi crossed his arms in denial.

Linda smiled growing more enthusiastic. " and Pein. Haha! Pein has father like feelings for Max! He's…Papa Pein!" The girl pointed accusingly at the two.

Everyone in the ice cream shop remained quiet staring at the young girl panting from yelling. They just stared at her.

"That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard," Kakuzu spoke up after a pause of silence. "And I'm partnered with Hidan."

"Shut the hell, Kakuzu!"

"Konan?" Ana asked. The woman just smiled.

The Akatsuki looked back at their leader. Pein stared back, his eyes flashing dangerously.

"Is that true, Leader?" Deidara was brave enough to ask.

Pein walked over wrapping his hand around the boy's neck. Deidara whimpered and stiffened in fear. "If you or anyone ask me that again. I will chop you up and throw you into that blender and feed it to everyone in this fucking shop. Do I make myself clear?" Everyone in the shop, not just the Akatsuki, nodded terrified.

He walked over taking a sip of tea that he ordered. "Let's go home then."

He walked out, the bell ringing above the door. Konan followed letting him think that the Akatsuki were obeying.

The criminals looked back down at Linda.

"How did you come to that conclusion?" Itachi asked quite impressed her her analysts.

"Well, the first sign was when Pein glared at them when he found Max and Daniel making out. I went to the library for a pencil and saw the whole thing!" Linda said.

Ana frowned a bit, "is that why he asked me to clean the couch."

Her sister nodded. "Second, if you didn't notice, Pein was the maddest or annoyed when Daniel cheated on Max. Just like a father would be. And lastly–" Linda smiled, "he got annoyed when boys were flirting with Max!" She hummed with confidence.

Kisame pursed his lips, "that's really good. You might qualify as an Akatsuki member."

"Really?!" Linda's eyes sparkled.

"Yeah…when you're older and get taller," Kisame laughed walking out with a pouting Linda behind him.

The Akatsuki walked so Pein wouldn't think they disobeyed him. And frankly, they don't want to become a chunky smoothie my of flesh.

Max walked alongside Josie. Josie looked down with a serious face. "He's so scared…" which broke into a grin. "I like him."

This caused Ana and Linda to stop walking. "She'll fit right in," Ana said before walking off. Linda continued staring at the 18–year–old before jogging to catch up to her sister.

"Well, I _really_ would like to stay. But I'm gonna head out to visit my grandmother." Josie said starting to head the other direction.

"But it was so much fun hanging out with you," Hidan smirked.

Josie returned the smirk, "then perhaps I should come back and visit." She turned around walking to her car. Swaying a bit. Hidan licked his lips watching an area lower than the girls back.

Ana snapped her fingers to his face. "Come on, Pervert."

"Come on, pervert," he mocked back heading towards the car like the rest of Akatsuki.

* * *

 **Max**

I walked through the front door slowly making my way inside. Deidara, Ana, and Hidan went straight to the Xbox. Itachi sat down to read while Kakuzu counted money. Sasori sat on the couch watching with Konan. Kisame and Linda sat waiting for their turn while Tobi sat at the coffee table drawing. And Zetsu said something about eating. I'm staying out of his way.

I hugged myself walking past them and heading toward the library. I don't want to be in my room right now.

I was sliding my fingers across end the spine of books when a pair of footsteps came behind me. I turned around seeing Pein walking down the stairs.

"Hey," I smiled. I pulled a blue book out walking toward the couch.

"You…are you alright?" He awkwardly muttered. I can tell that these whole dad feelings are uncomfortable.

I sighed, "I'm not," I answered truthfully. "I realized that I won't be fine for a while. It's been two days since…" I trailed off not wanting to say it. "And I want to be okay, and you guys tried making me happy and getting me out my room." Pein nodded but he looked a bit unsure of that. "But I can't continue bottling my feelings up, what's that gonna do?"

I felt a tear slide down my cheek. And I really wanted to wipe it off but. That's the truth. I'm hurt!

Pein gave a simple nod. "Whatever you need to do," was all he said.

I laughed a bit, "so _Papa Pein_ , do I get a hug?"

He glared at me, "no," and turned on his heels heading back upstairs returning to the grumpy Pein that we all know and only the girls and I love.

I chuckled again taking a seat on the couch. I wrapped a blanket around me curling up with the book. I don't know how long I read, but I know that I dozed off dreaming. Ironically, my dream was about my dad.


	81. Happy

**AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **I'm going to try and push as many chapters out. This one and the next one are fun but they're really short.**

* * *

 **Ana**

I know that when you're hurt you can't have it bottled up. And you need to find ways of trying to cope with the hurt. But maybe, maybe this is just a tad bit too much. I sighed leaning my arms on the back of the couch.

"Max?" I called out, "what are you doing?"

She blew her nose with the closest tissue and continued eating out of the carton of ice cream. "I'm just crying my heart out."

"By…"

"By watching movies."

I sighed again looking at Sasori and Itachi. They're personal cushions as Max had her legs on Sasori while she rested her head on the Uchiha's lap. Both equally uncomfortable. "Max, people usually watch romance movies. Can I ask you something?"

"What?" her voice wavered.

"Why are you watching the Teletubbies?"

Max turned around facing me. The tip of her nose was red like her puffy eyes. "Because they remind me of little satanist. I wanted to watch a horror movie but I realized we don't have any in this house." She shoved another spoonful of mint chocolate ice cream in her mouth.

I shook my head and went to the wall turning the lights on by the door. She flinched glaring at me. I cupped my mouth yelling for the Akatsuki to come down.

"Is it dinner already?" Hidan asked walking behind Kakuzu down the stairs.

"No, that's not for another hour. I called a quick meeting," I pushed some books down taking a seat on the coffee table. Max sat up making Itachi and Sasori fast walk away from her so they wouldn't get stuck with her.

"What's the meeting for?" Goldilocks took a seat beside Max.

"Well, I think we should try and help her. You know, Max. I understand that you shouldn't bottle your feelings, but don't you think it's time to slowly move on?" I asked her softly to keep her calm.

She fidgeted with the bottom of her sweater. "I guess…but I can't find anything to cheer me up."

Linda abruptly stood up looking at everyone before looking back at Pein and Konan. "Wait, is this part two for the competition?"

Pein and Konan looked at each other and shrugged, "I guess…" Konan seemed a bit unsure. However, the other Akatsuki members smirked thinking about what they want as their prize.

"Where's Juuzou?" Linda asked taking her iPod out while searching for the cat. He came out of the dining room looking curiously at the fourteen of us. Linda ran to him chasing him up the stairs and around the house before snatching him.

"If you excuse me I have…things to do," she quickly slipped out through the front door. I looked back at the others to see who was next.

"Do you want a hug?" Tobi giggled opening his arms out.

Max glared at him, "it's like you want me to punch you." She carefully eyed all of us, "why do you all care?"

We all tensed a bit not wanting her to know that there's a prize. "Because you're a friend," Kisame said walking towards her, "and friends help each other out when they're sad."

Max looked down at her ice cream. "I suppose–"

"Great! Tell us who ever made you happier at the end," Hidan said.

"Oh boy…" Pein grumbled.

Goldilocks got up spitting clay out of his left hand. Pressing his palms together for a few seconds, he pulled them apart revealing small figurines of a cat, flowers, and an owl. He handed them to Max letting her have them.

"Thanks… I like… your spit," she put them to the side wiping her hands.

"Loser," Kisame pushed him to the side. "As all of you know, I have multiple careers and one of those was giving good presents." Itachi facepalmed not believing that Kisame was still doing the career joke. Kisame turned his back to Max secretly putting something together. He looked back at her presenting her with a balloon hat.

"Thanks… ecstatic hair," she smoothed her hair down setting the hat on the floor. I smirked at their failures and got up. I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a jar from the pantry to the left and walked back to Max.

"Here, have a Ferrero Rocher chocolate," I took a seat tossing her a chocolate.

"My favorite," she gasped.

I nodded… I looked over seeing Itachi staring at me. "Would you like one?" He nodded making me feel awkward as I handed him the entire jar.

"Thanks for getting all of us one," Max smiled missing my entire point.

"Are you sure you don't want a hug?" Tobi re–opened his arms.

"I swear to god I'm gonna punch you," She threatened, making Tobi retreat behind Zetsu.

Kakuzu cleared his throat, "hey, stop being so fucking sad."

Max stared at him. She inhaled deepening, "yup, you did it, Kakuzu. Just like that, you were able to get rid of months worth of trust that got broken. You, my friend, are the man!" she sarcastically clapped glaring at him.

Sasori didn't try because he doesn't care, Itachi was too busy eating the chocolates, and Sasuke wasn't part of the first competition.

Zetsu got up thinking for a bit. "Would you like more ice cream? **Or do you want me to eat you?** "

Kisame shoved the plant man to the side. "So who made you happy?" Kisame asked wanting to beat the others.

"You like chocolates," I smiled at her.

The front door opened and shut making the Akatsuki look at Linda. She was panting a bit with a grin on her face. And a smudge of dirt (I hope it's dirt) on her cheek.

"I did it," she released Juuzou from her arms. He dashed away from her running up the stairs. Linda walked over to Max handing her, her iPod. "I took pictures of Juuzou outside. This picture is him standing on grass." Linda swiped, "and this one he's sniffing a plant."

Max's eyes watered a bit making me frown. "He's just too precious… I love Juuzou."

Goldilocks got up from the couch turning to Max. "Okay, I'm gonna be honest and ignore the competition for a second. I thought you were Max."

"I am…"

"Really, cuz the Max I know wouldn't be so depressed, she'd get back up and laugh at life. The Max we know wouldn't let a person bring her down, she's a strong independent woman who doesn't need a man." He flashed her a smile.

Something flipped inside of me, making me take extra notice of this Akatsuki member. His face was lit up… and his blue eyes sparkling as he gazed… almost lovingly.

I looked down not understanding why I was thinking such things.

"Plus, I should apologize for being heartless earlier when you were hurt," he smiled warmly.

"Lame!" Everyone looked over at Hidan who was leaning back with his hands behind his head. "Okay, Goldilocks let me show you how it's done." Hidan walked over to Max smirking down at her. "Why don't you go and change into dark colors.

She frowned, "why?"

"Because you and I are going to go fuck that bastard who shall not be named car up. And make it look like an accident."

Max raised her eyebrows, "we can do that? We can make it look like an accident?"

"Are you in or out?"

Max rubbed her chin and looked up at Hidan giving a sinister smirk. "Now that sounds appealing," she chuckled darkly bringing back the old Max. She got up to go to her room. She stopped by Goldilocks and patted his cheek. "Thank, Dei." she smiled and continued walking.

"Well that didn't go as plan," he grumbled.

"You weren't sincere at all," Sasori stated.

"NOPE!" Goldilocks looked over at me raising an eyebrow. "What are you looking at?"

I shook my head and stared at my feet. Linda poked my cheek getting my attention. "You okay, are you sick? Your cheeks are a red and you feel warm." I shook my head again and got up. I better start dinner.

But no matter what I did, I couldn't get that image of Deidara smiling out of my head.

* * *

 _ **After Hours…**_

Max smiled looking at the tree Hidan had cut down and placed on the car. She picked her metal bat up feeling prideful. The car was destroyed. Windows smashed, tires slashed, hood jacked up. She even rearranged wires in the motar and brakes. The two went back to the many ion where Pein and Konan were waiting.

"I win," Hidan said the moment he saw the two leaders. They looked at each other and tossed a woman ducked taped around her wrist and ankles at Hidan.

He smirked tossing the woman over his shoulder. Max stared not understanding what was going on. She just closed the door and went to go find what was for dinner.


	82. The New Ship

**Max: I always wonder what the weather is like around the world. It's spring but it doesn't really feel like it. Actually, it won't feel like it until April, around the beginning or middle. But at least, April showers bring May flowers. Hehe.**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **I trying to put as many chapters out. Sorry if they're short... and crappy**

* * *

 **Linda**

Things have been very fishy. And by things I mean Ana, she's been in deep thought lately and she's been nice to Deidara. Like this morning when we were talking about the money I won a while back from Hidan, Kisame, and Kakuzu.

"I just don't know what to do with it," I slumped in the stool.

"Why don't you just save it for now?" Ana suggested as she washed pans from breakfast. I shrugged.

Deidara walked into the kitchen opening one of the cabinets grabbing a cup. "What are you two doing?" he asked filling the glass with water.

"Talking about the bet you lost," I smiled innocently at him. He grumbled under his breath sticking his tongue out.

"Bye," He walked out.

"Bye, Deidara."

I stared at the door thinking if I heard correctly. "Um, Ana?"

"Hm?"

"Did you call Deidara–Deidara!?" I asked astonished at my sister. She shrugged and continued washing the dishes. I walked out of the kitchen heading over to the couches. Sasuke was working on a crossword. As I was heading closer to sit, the front door knocked making me go and answer the door.

"Hello."

"Well hello, Linda," Josie smiled at me. "How are you doing today?"

I shrugged, "I'm fine, do you want to come in?"

"That was the plan." I smiled (I like her) letting her inside. She walked over saying hi to Sasuke. She was wearing a black turtleneck with a long thick wine colored skirt going to her shins. A pair of black laced boots peaked out.

"Nice outfit," I complimented.

"Thank you, I'm trying to better understand the character that I've been wanting to audition as."

"And that is?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"My character is the daughter of a farmer trying to live life with economic and weather problems," Josie sighed, "but a typical story sadly."

"Hey, Josie," I turned around seeing Max walk down the stairs making her way to the three of us. "What's up?"

"Just came to say hello before heading off to the theater group. Which reminds me." She crossed her arms looking at the younger girl, "when do you plan on coming back?"

Max shrugged, "soon I hope."

I excused myself telling them that I needed to go talk with Kisame. It's very important. I feel as though I need his perspective on this new thing that I've been observing. I knocked on the door waiting for it to open.

When it did, Kisame looked down at me letting a smile break. "Sup, Little Guppy, need anything?"

"Kinda," I took a seat on his bed sitting crisscross in front of him. "I need your view/idea on what I'm about to tell you."

"I'm all ears."

I cleared my throat to start. "What does it mean when a girl starts acting differently. She used to hate this one person, but recently she's been a bit… awkward or nice to him." I watched as Kisame thought long and hard about this.

"From what I'm hearing, this girl likes the man she used to hate." Kisame smirked, "those are my favorite relationships to watch." I nodded and thanked him as I got off the bed to leave. "Why did you ask, Little Guppy?"

I froze just as I was leaving the door. I didn't want to tell Kisame the truth. "My book… it can be a bit confusing!" I laughed rushing out.

I walked down the hallway trying to think if what Kisame said is true. But it can't be! Ana can't have feelings for Deidara… Right? I mean, she _is_ acting different and being… awkward. I sighed not understanding anything anymore.

As I walked down I saw Hidan smirking at Josie. "So when are are we going to see each other alone?"

Josie reached for one of Max's strawberries, "get to know me and we'll see if you still like me." she shoved the fruit in his mouth making her way to the kitchen.

I smile looking at Hidan, "is this your first rejection?"

"Shut Up! This isn't over."

I watched as he walked away before looking down at Max. "What's his deal?"

She shook her head, "I don't know, let him try. It's funny."

I went to the kitchen to see what Ana was doing. To my surprise, Deidara was in there laughing with Josie. Ana stared at the two blankly, which was still odd for me.

"I like you," Deidara smiled finding a new friend.

Friendship.

"You're cool too, Deidara," Josie smiled.

I noticed that Ana was staring, almost glaring a bit at Deidara…

Wait…

Gasp, don't tell me I'm right? She _does_ like Deidara!

Not knowing what to do with this important information I ran out the kitchen. I went to the library to see if I can find anything on this topic.

* * *

Deidara had come down after dinner, curious to see what I've been doing all day. Piles of books were sitting on the desk I was using. Some of them were useful while others were pure fiction.

I put them back in their correct place walking out with Deidara. He told me that Max was making cupcakes and asked if I wanted some. "Can I ask you something, Deidara?"

"Hm?"

"This is to help understand my book," I continued the lie I told Kisame earlier.

We walked into the kitchen chatting.

"Help!"

We stopped walking and looked at each other. "Max?" Deidara called out.

"...Yeah."

The two of us go all the way to the left to where the pantry was open. My eyes widen. "Max!" She was stuck on the shelves, as some of them were broken, so she was also holding them in place.

Deidara began laughing at her, "how?" was all he could say.

"I–I grabbed the sprinkles on the very top shelf. But I was too lazy to get a chair so I pretty much climbed up and… yeah. I need help." I started giggling before fully laughing.

"Deidara go help her!" I held my sides finding this funny. Deidara chuckled walking to Max.

"Jump and I'll catch you."

"No."

I laughed again. Deidara glared at her, "then you can stay up there."

"I meant… I want you to take my phone out my back pocket. I don't want to risk it getting cracked."

Deidara sighed and walked over to her to get the phone. He paused just as he was reaching for it looking hesitant. He realized that by grabbing the phone would mean in touching her rear. He looked over at me. I shrugged. Deidara carefully took it out awkwardly setting it to the side.

"He touched the butt," I whispered to myself.

Deidara pushed his hair to the side, "when I say go you ju– AHH!" He fell to the ground as Max threw herself on him.

"Idiot," I smiled looking down at the two clumsy people. Max groaned and got up sitting on Deidara's lap her legs wrapped around him.

"Sorry about that, Deidara. Thanks for catching and breaking my fall," she patted his head. Deidara looked up leaning on his elbows. He stuck his tongue out glaring at her. Slowly the two of them laughed at their clumsiness.

"Hey, Linda have you seen–" I whipped around seeing Ana stop in her tracks staring at Max and Deidara in well… a fairly close and awkward position. She turned around quickly walking out the kitchen.

"What's with her?" Max asked not knowing anything. I ran out the kitchen making my way to Ana's room.

I began feeling terrible. I swung the door open expecting her to be sad sitting on her bed. But instead, she was scribbling something on a bulletin board above her desk.

"What are you doing?" I asked slowly walking towards her.

"Shipping material."

I frowned, "excuse me. Did you just say shipping material."

Ana grabbed a hold of my shoulders smiling, "yes, did you not see how they were." She turned back to the board writing. There was a paper titled Max X Deidara.

Wait… "So you don't like DEIDARA?!"

"Ew, no."

I inhaled sharply and walked over to Ana's bed grabbing one of her pillows, screaming into it. I set it back down adjusting myself heading back over to Ana.

"So you really like this dumb ship?"

She stopped writing and looked down at me, "what did you just say?"

"Deidara?"

She crossed her arms, "who do you think makes a better ship?"

I smiled, "Sasori X Max all the way!"

Ana rolled her eyes. "You're just saying that because they use to be married. Besides, Sasori has no emotions how is that going to work."

I stuck my fingers in my ears, "I can't hear you over my amazing ship!"

"Max and Deidara."

"Sasori and Max."

"Max and Deidara!"

"Sasori and Max!" I stomped my foot down.

"MAX X DEIDARA!"

"SASORI X MAX!"

"Hey!" We stopped yelling and looked fearfully at the doorway where Pein stood. "Stop yelling," he said slowly glaring at us. We nod and he continued walking down the hallway.

"Sasori and Max," I whispered.

"Max and Deidara!" Ana whispered back.

"Do you want me to come back!" Pein threatened. For the sake of our future, I walked away to leave.

"This isn't over," I pointed at her

Ana snorted, "Please, come back when you get a _real_ ship."

"As real as Deidara's manhood?" I slammed her door feeling proud of my witty comment.

"Who's slamming doors!?" Pein growled. I froze, I better hide before he finds me. Papa Pein is a scary man.

* * *

 _ **After Hours...**_

Linda kneeled by the coffee table alone counting a deck of cards she found. Tobi walked through the front door making the girl look up. It also made her wonder when Tobi left... and why he has flowers.

"Hey, Tobi," Linda greeted, "how are you?"

"I'm doing good."

"So what's with the flowers?" Linda got up to look at them. She gently touched them taking in the scent.

"They're for Max–chan!" Tobi smiled (behind the mask).

"That's great, Tobi. But there's just one problem," Linda said looking at the flowers.

"What?"

"You don't have a name on here, write a small card for her," Linda smiled liking the idea that she was helping. Tobi gasped realizing that he didn't have a card.

"What are you two doing?" Deidara asked making his way to the couch.

"Tobi will be back!" Tobi shoved the flowers into Deidara's hands before running off to his room.

Deidara looked at Linda wanting an explanation, "they're for Max," was all Linda said. Just as the Akatsuki member was about to ask where she was, the front door opened with Max stepping in yawning.

"Hey guys, just came back from acting and I'm tired." She stated, walking over to the two noticing the bouquet of flowers. "Who are the flowers for?"

Deidara awkwardly glanced at Linda before answering, "they're for you." Max stared at him slowly looking down at the flowers smiling and blushing. She sniffed them admiring the pastel colors.

"Thank you," Max took the flowers and leaned up kissing Deidara on the cheek. She walked over to the kitchen to put the flowers in water.

When she was gone Deidara and Linda looked at each other wondering if the misunderstanding really happened. "Tobi is back," Tobi said holding a small short card. "where are the flowers?"

"Max. She already has them," Linda said a bit taken back. Tobi shrugged happily that he made someone happy. But he didn't understand why his friend and senpai were so awkward?


	83. Lullaby: Fairy Tale

**AN: the title has nothing to do with the anime.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE. PS. if you haven't noticed I added an After Hours to the last chapter since I forgot I wanted to add one.**

 **Hehe, my bad.**

* * *

 **Max**

I walked passed the same house for the sixteenth time today. Actually, I've passed this house for the last ten minutes. Just a big cycle of feeling geographically stupid. My gut was telling me to just go and see what the deal was with this house. But I _knew_ something my gut didn't… I have absolutely no memory of what or why I'm walking.

Finally, after a long discussion with myself, I decided to go and investigate what this house was about. What made it's dark crooked–yet fancy–self stand out. I cleared my throat and knocked loudly waiting for an answer. I rocked back and forth on my heels waiting. I checked the watch I didn't have on my wrist wondering how long I was going to be kept waiting.

After knocking again… or banging. The door swung open.

' _Please let this be a whore house?'_ I crossed my fingers staring at the sexy man standing at the door.

"Hello?" He asked getting a bit impatient.

I closed my mouth before I began drooling. "Um… I'm lost I was wondering if I could come in?"

"Who's at the door?"

A woman taller than me pushed the man aside glancing me up and down. She stepped out taking a closer look. "Can I help you?" She was a lot nicer than the red head.

I nodded, "I'm lost and I have nowhere to go. Do you mind if I stay here for one night?"

The woman didn't say anything at first but soon smiled at me. "I don't see why not!" She pulled me into the house.

I glanced around. There were staircases right up front. Upstairs was a kitchen where I was given food and a living room. Going up more stairs there were roughly about ten doors and four bathrooms.

"You sure do have a lot of rooms, ma'am," I said.

She nodded, "I do. And please, call me Konan." I nodded.

Konan showed me another floor which was basically a second living room. There were some portraits, I didn't have time to really look at them because Konan called me to a small door. I walked over to her seeing that she had opened it. I peeked inside to see it was almost like a closet, except a ladder was going up.

"Up the ladder is an attic that we use for a spare bedroom, you can use it to sleep."

I bowed thanking her greatly. "Thank you so much. All of you are so kind!"

* * *

 _6 months later…_

"I hate all of you and I hope you all burn in hell," I growled looking at the eight of them.

" **Shut up and get me another blood soda** ," Black Zetsu demanded shaking his empty can. I stomped over snatching it and heading to the kitchen.

I wish that I could have my memory back so I can go home. But of course I don't remember, and that's constantly put against me. You see, six months ago I found this house only wanting to stay for one night. But one day turned into weeks. Konan told me that until I regained my memory that I should stay with her and her roommates, the Akatsuki. All I have to do is clean the house up a bit as a sort of rent.

One of the biggest mistakes I've done. Let me give you an idea of who we're talking about.

Pein a.k.a Leader– I've never met this man. All I know is that he walked out on everyone years ago leaving Konan heartbroken and delusional that he'd be back. There's a portrait that I've seen of him in a fancy suit in the second living room. It's hung in the corner where it gets no sunlight. Kinda weird.

Konan– The best way to describe her is the one who takes care of the brats. And she's a fucking bitch.

Itachi–… I hate him… he's hot and narcissistic. Actually, all of them are the same, they're all hot and narcissistic and I hate them! Kisame is sexist, Sasori is perverted, Deidara is insane (Bombs!), Hidan religious freak, Kakuzu is scary and greedy, Tobi is a bad man, and Zetsu eats people!

I walked back into the living room giving Zetsu his drink. Itachi gasped making a face as I walked by.

"Ew," he said looking at my reflection in his mirror, "you're tainting my beauty go taint it somewhere else," he glared at me.

"At least I don't wear red contacts," I mumbled to myself heading to the other side of the room. Hidan burped and threw his can to the ground making some of the liquid spill.

"Um… pick it up," he said looking back at the tv.

I trembled wanting to strangle him. I went to go get the wet rag to clean Hidan's mess. The TV flashed for a breaking news.

"Hello and welcome to this breaking news, I'm your anchor Robert Rodriguez, and today the king is about to give a speech. King?"

The camera went live to the king standing at the podium. "My fellow citizens, I bring news today that everyone must hear. Tonight I will be hosting a ball for one of my children who will look for a potential spouse. All guest are welcome and I hope to see plenty here around nine." The camera went back to the anchor who said some other unimportant news about a five–legged cow.

I heard footsteps heavily run down the stairs. Konan ran to the Akatsuki grinning, "did you hear the news, the princess is going to be married to whoever she meets and loves."

"What's your point?" Deidara asked in the corner as he was making another bomb. Thankfully he's just starting so there's no harm… yet.

"We're talking about royalty, idiot, and what do royals have?" Konan paused for an answer. After no one answered she sighed rubbing her forehead, "they have money, you uneducated morons."

Kakuzu immediately looked up as she hit a trigger word. "Money? As in a boat load of it if you marry one of them?" Konan smiled nodding her head, "where the hell do I sign up?"

Kisame shook his head, "the king just said that all candidates must attend the ball."

"What are we waiting for?" Tobi darkly chuckled rubbing his hands together. I made a face not liking where his mind was heading.

"I just want to examine the princess," Sasori smirked earning snickers from the others.

Konan walked off back to the room, "Max, can I have a word with you," she asked (not really) making her upstairs.

"Yeah," I mumbled getting up from the ground. I put the rag back in the sink before heading up to Konan's office. It's the first door on the right. I knocked waiting to be called in. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Konan," she corrected me. She thinks that when I call her ma'am it makes her feel old. "Max I need you to go and get me a couple of things." She handed me a list naming off what I needed to get from memory. "After you're done cleaning and arranging the limo I need you to go pick up suits for the boys."

I nodded, "so can I come along?"

"Why would I let a tragedy like that happen?"

"I just want to go outside and talk to people."

Konan frowned walking to me. She snatched my face staring intently at it. "You're not planning something now are you?" I shook my head–or at least tried to.

"I just want some dessert that's all," I forced a smile so she could let me go. Konan sighed pushed me away from her. She told me that I could as long as the house was clean before they left.

I went back downstairs needing the measurements of the boys. I pulled a pencil and paper out making my way back to the living room. "I need your guy's sizes."

"Six inches–soft," Hidan smirked winking at me.

I frowned, "shoe size?"

"No, the space between my legs."

My eyes widen realizing what body part he was talking about. "I meant! That I need measurements for your suits. Do you not want a rich wife?"

They nodded agreeing for once and finally gave me what I needed to know.

* * *

I threw myself onto the bed feeling my entire body just shut down after doing so many errands. "Max!" Konan called, I groaned and sat up.

"Yes?"

"Did you get everything I asked you?" I nodded smashing my face in a cushion. Konan snatched the popsicles wanting one at the moment.

"The suits for the Akatsuki are on the chair."

She glared at me, "stepbrothers."

I returned the glare, "they are not my stepbrothers. I will never call them stepbrothers."

Konan walked over snatching my face squeezing my chin tightly. "You will call them whatever and however I tell you to call them." She smiled again walking with a popsicle tossing me the box. I rolled my eyes.

"Ak–brothers," I tightened my teeth.

"Yeah call us brothers," Tobi pushed me going to the suits. I glared at all of them. I secretly grabbed a bag which had a dress that I bought for myself.

"Don't forget to thoroughly clean yourself," I called out to them. By the time they finished handing suits out I'd already be cleaned. The skirt of my dress was a maroon color while the top was black.

It took a full hour for all nine of them to be ready. I hate them, they're such drama queens. One of them wanted me to fix their suit, the other wanted me to tie his shoe as if he was five. Sasori tried slipping a hand up my dress, Itachi wouldn't hurry because he'd keep staring at himself in the mirror, Zetsu almost ate me! Kisame made sexist comments telling me that it's my duty as a woman to help the man dress. Followed with a bit of slut shaming for my short dress.

I walked down the empty second living room stopping at the famous portrait. I looked up at the Leader sighing. "I am the only one who knows why you walked out." I shook my head and quickly went down the stairs before the limo left.

I went up front with the driver wanting a boring experience instead of being harassed by the Akatsuki. He made small talk, wanting to be nice I talked with him.

Soon enough we arrived at the castle where thousands of people were driving or walking up the stairs. Press were taking pictures so there was a small pattern of lights flashing. I walked out looking at everything in awe. I followed the Akatsuki up the big staircase making my way inside. The ballroom was gigantic with a small stage where the king and princess are going to speak with TV's hanging up so people in the back can see.

"This is amazing," I smiled.

"It's almost a great place to show my ultimate art." I noticed Deidara's psychotic grin and that he was trembling. I stepped away getting away from him.

"Konan, I'm going to go to the dessert table."

" **Fatass** ," Black Zetsu called me as he passed by.

"Sure whatever," Konan shooed me off.

I walked to the table pushing through the crowd of people. I excused myself pushing harder. I nearly fell to the ground as I tripped over someone's foot. I rammed into someone's back.

"I'm so sorry!" I apologized.

The man turned around smiling at me, "are you okay?" I nodded, "good. You look very lovely today. Are you alone?"

I shook my head, "thank you. I'm here with… my "step brothers." He frowned. "The woman I live with is psycho."

He simply nodded, "well as long as you have a fun time. The night is still young." he winked making me smile.

The man smiled past me, "why don't you meet my friends." I turned around seeing three girls walk closer to us. "This is Josie, Ana, and Linda."

I put my hand out shaking their hands. "I'm Max, it's a pleasure to meet you."

We joked around and talked until Konan stomped over to me pull me up front to the Akatsuki. "What are you doing I hissed at her while smiling and waving at the new people I met.

"I need you to make sure your step brothers look well for the princess." I rolled my eyes feeling like Cinderella. I sighed and walked over getting ready to be insulted.

"Hello?" a voice spoke through a microphone. "Can I have everyone's attention." I turned around as I was adjusting Kakuzu's tie. "A word from our king." I turned around feeling my shoulder being poked. I saw Josie, Ana, and Linda smiled and wave at me, I returned the gesture.

Everyone–including me–bowed to the king as he walked to the front. "Ladies and Gentleman, I'm glad to announce this special evening for my child. Tonight I hope that they find love with someone in this crowd. I wish everyone good luck and to enjoy the night. But before I send all of you off a word from my son, the Prince! The one you've been waiting for!"

Everyone in the room clapped and cheered. Whistling with excitement.

"Wait," Hidan stopped us from clapping. "Did they just say, prince?"

The king moved aside letting the handsome prince take the stage. All the young girls sighed in unison–some of them fainting. I soon realized that the prince was the guy I was joking with earlier.

"Akatsuki," Konan snapped, "let's go!" she led us away from the group.

I looked back at the girls, "if you excuse me I have to go. A bunch of bitches are calling," I murmured to them not wanting the Akatsuki to hear me.

"Just hurry back, dessert will be eaten up," Ana said waving me goodbye.

"And you have to try the cupcakes," Linda jumped a bit.

I followed the Akatsuki down a long corridor. Konan stopped in front of a door pushing it aside. I felt uneasy unsure if we're allowed to wander off. I noticed that the wall material changed into pure dry concrete. We walked down a cold crowded stairwell, it slowly opened up exposing an old broken dungeon. I walked down noticing that a huge part of the floor was broken. I couldn't see how far up we were because it was so dark minus the torches on the wall. But I can tell that it would hurt to reach the bottom.

"What are we going to do now?!" Konan paced.

"I thought the princess was getting married," Kakuzu growled.

"What now?" Sasori asked.

 _What if I push them off… would that end them for good?_ I gave a crazy eye to the ledge.

"You're gonna make that boy gay so he can date you," Konan snaped.

"Why don't you just do it you're a girl," I frowned looking back at Konan.

"Because I'm with Pein that would be cheating."

"He's not coming back!"

She roughly pulled me by the collar bone. "Why you…" she took a deep breath calming herself. "That reminds me, we don't have a reason to have you around. And we can't let you go because you're a witness."

"Do I have the honors to?" Kisame asked making his way to me. With Konan nodding, Kisame swung his leg kicking me with such brute force.

I coughed out, but it was enough to make me go over the ledge. I watch myself fall in slow motion, my left hand extending for someone to grab me. Knowing my fate I closed my eyes shut.

For a moment everything was lost until I felt something around my waist. It slowed me down coming to a stop. I grabbed onto it feeling afraid it would let go of me. A second passed and it swung.

"You drop when I tell you to," A voice echoed. Before I could question the legitimacy he yelled for me to drop. I let go of the rope feeling my legs touch the ledge on the other side. A pair of arms wrapped themselves around me making sure I didn't fall.

"Thank you!" I said looking up at who saved me. "Woah… you're hotter than my step brothers," I trailed off. The teen frowned. "They aren't really brothers at all they're pretty much roommates who are complete brats."

He laughed, "so what is a pretty girl like you doing falling?"

"Said brats pushed me," I blushed realizing that he called me pretty. He wasn't bad himself, in fact, he's sexier than the Akatsuki. He has fair skin and black eyes and well put hair.

"What's on your mind," he smirked when I spaced out by staring at him.

"I want to kiss you," I blushed heavily not believing what I just said.

He raised his eyebrow, "You get straight to the point." The teen put both hands beside my head pushing himself on me against the wall. "I'll tell you what, if you give me your name I'll let you kiss me."

I returned his smirk, "only if I get your name?" He nodded. I leaned up to our lips almost touching, "Max," I stated.

Just as we kissed he answered me back, "Sasuke." I inhaled sharply kissing Sasuke a bit rougher than I expected, but it made it hotter. _He's so hot…_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed sitting up.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I panted feeling my heart accelerate. I noticed that I had been laying on the couch. "WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING, TOBI?!"

"WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING!"

"I'M SCREAMING BECAUSE OF MY DREAM!"

"I'M SCREAMING BECAUSE YOU SCREAMED AND IT SCARED ME!" He tilted his head to the side, "what was your dream?" he asked already calmed down.

I got up feeling my legs tremble, "this never happened, Tobi!" I pointed at him, "I haven't seen you and you haven't seen me!" I ran off to my room not wanting to see anyone for the rest of the afternoon. Especially Sasuke.


	84. Chapter 84

**Ana: If there are five fishes and two die, one drowns, and the other swims away. How many are in the tank?**

 **Linda: five.**

 **Max: five.**

 **Ana: oh, I didn't think you two would get that correct.**

 **Max: where would the fish go?**

 **Linda: fish heaven.**

 **Ana:**

 **Max:**

 **Linda:…is that where Kisame's going to go?**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **Thank you, Tobirama Senju 2, for favoriting the story and I.**

* * *

 **Ana**

Pein walked by me stopping to stare at the door again. He continued pacing trying his best not to look concern. The front door opened making him stop walking. Max laughed walking in with Josie.

"Where have you been?" Pein asked crossing his arms.

"He's in Papa Pein mode," I warned.

"Shut it!" he snapped at me. "Where were you?"

"Relax, Pein. Josie and I just went to an audition," Max made her way over taking a seat on the chair. "Funny, we auditioned for the same part."

I finished dusting and looked back at the two. "What part is that?"

"It's about a girl who is accused of robbing a convenience store. So there's drama and romance, and angst. It's crazy," Josie chuckled.

Pein shook his head and looked over at me. "What are you doing standing around? Make me a hot chocolate," he walked off in the direction of the library.

I muttered insults under my breath watching him leave. Linda skipped over to the three of us holding a snowglobe out to us.

"I have an idea," she sang, "we need to do go out and have fun!"

"Don't you remember the last time we all went out?" Josie frowned.

She thought for a moment, "we got to meet new people?"

I rubbed my forehead, "the Akatsuki always act up in public, we can't take them anywhere–wait." I stopped myself and looked at Josie. "Do you know… them?"

She just smiled at me. "Well, who said anything about being in public?" Linda smiled.

Max frowned, "then what do you have in mind?"

* * *

"You do realize the last time we played this game Hidan knocked you out." Goldilocks adjusted the baseball cap.

Linda sniffed the air, "but it's really nice out. Plus, I can just hide behind Pein and Konan." Max shook her head and continued wiping the dirt of her metal bat.

"So," I said walking to her, "is that what you used to destroy the bastard who shall not be named car?"

"Yes, and we did a very nice job," I walked away as she began cackling like a maniac.

"So what are the teams?" Itachi asked moving the plants away from us to prevent breaking the pots.

"Should we do it like last time?"

The Akatsuki, Sasuke, Linda and I stared at Max. "You realize the last time we played this was in the summer," Kakuzu reminded her that no one bothered to remember teams.

"Plus, there's an extra beautiful person," Hidan winked at Josie and got turned down as she rolled her eyes.

Max rubbed her chin counting everyone and setting up teams in her head. Pein, Konan, and Zetsu didn't plan on playing with us. "Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, Kakuzu, and I. The other team was Sasori, Deidara, Tobi, Linda, Ana, and Sasuke."

"That's five to six," Itachi said.

"Well, that means you have to join my team," Hidan smirked.

Josie smiled walking up to him, "it seems that way. Just keep up with my athleticism." she winked lightly pushing him out her way to Max.

"Can you guys flirt some other time we're trying to play a game," I called out. Hidan glared at me and walked to his group.

Linda and I huddled with our team. After making up a plan we walked out to start batting. Max handed us her bat and went to pitch. Hidan isn't allowed anymore for obvious reasons. And if he is going to then Linda can't bat.

"You ready?" She asked me.

I nodded digging my foot into the ground keeping my eye on the ball. Max smirked wiggling her eyebrows to try and distract me. She leaned back on one foot throwing the ball as hard as she could. I watched as the ball came exactly where I wanted it. You see, my plan isn't to hit the ball far away, not yet. I need it to at least get away from first base so I don't run too much and use most of my energy.

The ball bounced back on the metal bat flying more towards the middle of second and third base, I ran trying to get to first. I slid a bit barely making it as Kisame nearly got me out.

It took ten minutes to three strikes. Max walked up to the bat smiling at it. We felt that it was appropriate to have Goldilocks pitching because he's used to throwing and having good aim.

"Clay is hard to throw," he told us after he was announced, pitcher.

"Don't hit her," I glared at him not wanting my ship to be ruined.

"Hit her!" Linda yelled at Goldilocks, "so Sasori can take care of her!"

Sasori looked over frowning at her. "Hey, Shut up!" I yelled at her, "Sasori don't lay a finger on her!"

"Then Deidara can't hang with Max!" Linda yelled stomping over to me.

"Goldilocks can do whatever he wants with her!" I yelled getting in her face.

"Shouldn't you two focus," Sasuke whispered loudly at us.

"That's nasty, you don't know where Deidara's hands have been!"

Pein cleared his throat snapping at us, "apparently giving them a go since Max is already at home."

"Huh?" We looked over seeing Max skip to home smiling at us.

"You should really focus on the game."

Josie walked up grabbing the bat, "I'm ready, Deidara," she smiled adjusting her cap and putting the bat up. Goldilocks pulled his arm back sending the ball flying towards her. She crouched down eyeing it. She swung hitting the ball. My eyes widen at the loud ringing, plus the ball went flying over us going so far that I didn't see where it landed. Linda and I looked back at the girl who casually tossed the bat to the side taking her time walking.

"I believe that's a home run," Konan said as she was in charge of keeping track of scores.

"How?" Kakuzu asked.

Josie laughed, "my four years of high school I played for the girl's softball team," she passed Sasuke on first base greeting him. "I didn't want to do volleyball cuz that was so typical, and basketball isn't for me too aggressive." She smiled at Tobi on second base. "I'd rather be outside instead of a sweaty gym." Josie smiled at Linda who was suppose to be on third. "I'm quite the player." She stops, standing on the home base.

"I'm so going to get some," Hidan stated now fully wanting Josie.

Itachi took some steps away feeling quite uncomfortable. "Kisame it's your turn."

Kisame went up to the base, "are _you_ guys ready?" He smirked.

"I'm ready!" Linda gave a thumbs up making it back to third. Goldilocks scrunched his eyes wanting to make the ball curve so it'd be harder for Kisame to hit it. He pulled back throwing the ball with a lot of force. But it didn't cross Goldilocks' mind that he was a swordsman who deals with moving objects or opponents.

Kisame hit the ball sending it flying fast like a bullet. It went far out hitting a tree. But without warning, with so much force the ball bounced back flying back towards us. Linda gasped and it shot right at her. Last minute Tobi tackled her just as the ball when to their direction. Unfortunately, it hit and broke the back window.

"Holy shit are you okay?" Max asked jogging over to them.

"Thank you, Tobi you saved me." Linda graciously thanked the boy.

"Um, well… it wasn't anything!" Tobi bashfully rubbed the back of his head. Pein calmly walked over getting a better look at the house.

"What a shame, we'll have to repair the window."

"I'm fine thank you, Pein," she replied sarcastically.

Kisame walked over and picked Tobi up from the back of his cloak. His arms and legs dangling. "Thanks, Tobi. Little Guppy would have gotten hit if it weren't for you."

Tobi stuttered embarrassed not knowing what to say. "Wow, for once I'm being praised." He got back on his feet dusting himself off.

I helped Linda up letting her dust herself. "How about we go in for some snacks?"

The Akatsuki nodded liking that idea. "That sounds about good right now."

"I want an orange," Max smiled. "Water, we have to hydrate ourselves."

"Dangos."

"Rice."

"Crackers."

We all head in grabbing the bat on the way in.

* * *

 _ **After Hours…**_

Max whistled as she cleaned up the glass from the broken window. "Ok I think that's it," she threw them in the trash and went to grab the baseball. Without realizing that it hadn't been touched yet, Max grabbed it forcefully getting a surprise.

"Fuck…" she groaned looking at the cut it left on the end of her palm. Blood began to come out dripping down her arm. "That doesn't look too good."

Sasuke walked out into the hallway hearing someone talk. "Max? What happened to you?" He walked over seeing that she was bleeding.

"I was just being careless." she put her right hand under making sure none of the blood would get on the floor. Sasuke shook his head a bit disappointed at her carelessness and helped her to the kitchen. He searched through the drawers looking for gloves. After finding them he grabbed a pair of small tweezers cleaning them off.

"Fuck, Sasuke!" Max snapped punching his arm.

"What?!"

"At least tell me when you're going to pull it out!" She winced gripping the counter.

"I almost had it out until you moved. There's a piece for me to grab and take it out." Sasuke eyed the small glass. Swiftly before Max had a chance to yell at him as he took it out earning another punch on the arm.

"Thanks, Sasuke," Max examined the bandaged wound. "I should probably go and clean the ball up."

"I'll do that," he said, "you clearly can not." Max glared at the Uchiha's back as he walked out.

"What happened to you?" Deidara asked throwing the core of an apple away.

"I just cut myself while cleaning."

Deidara picked her wrist up taking a look at it. He flashed a smile, "you'll live." He walked back into the dining room leaving Max a bit puzzled.

Sasuke walked in annoyed.

"That fast?"

"Shut it," he snapped putting his bloody finger over the sink.

Max began laughing, "what was that about how I can't clean up?"

"Shut it!"


	85. Josie

**Linda: *sips hot chocolate* You know what it means.**

 **AN:**

 **I AM VERY SORRY FOR NOT POSTING IN ABOUT WHAT? 3 MONTHS OH MY GOD I HAVE FELT TERRIBLE.**

 **I hadn't been posting because I was so caught up with school and trying to raise my grades (I barely got a 3.05). I just needed to focus on school and not stress out so much. But I'm off school and I MISS TYPING. FOR THE FANDOM AND PRIVATELY. I started this chapter about three months ago, it's time to finish it.**

 **Anyways I have a question but I'm going to leave that the bottom author's note.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **Thank you, TegamiBachi25, psulrd, abbydobbie, and YveltalFan for favoriting and following the story. And thank you, Laffy50, for the review.**

 **Don't for get to review please.**

* * *

 **Linda**

I looked up hearing something crash on the floor. Ana and I stopped walking up the library stairs to listen. Faintly, we heard yelling outside. We glanced at each other before we continued up to see what was going on. We were in the library looking at romance books to give us ideas about our ships. More Akatsuki members came out of their rooms checking what all the fuss was about. Deidara had his arms out in front of Josie who looks calm and almost bored. Sasori and Sasuke were holding Max back to keep her from gouging eyes out.

"You didn't even want to go to the audition! If it weren't for me you wouldn't have gotten it!" Max yelled trying to pry the two boys arms off her.

"Are you done being a sore loser?" Josie asked raising her eyebrows.

Max pouted and stood up straight crossing her arms. "Meanie."

"Are you–"

"Backstabber!"

"Are–"

"Traitor!" Max whispered loudly.

"..."

Josie waited to see if Max was done when she knew it was okay to talk she started. "Look, I know you wanted that part more than I did. But it isn't my fault they chose me. And you out of everyone know that that I just can't decline." Max pouted more. "So are you done being a sore loser?"

"Give me five," she turned around towards my direction and pouted tapping her finger on her arm. She grumbled something under her breath turning back around. "Congratulations!" Max threw her arms around Josie, "I've always admired your work."

Josie smiled and pulled her cheek, "just respect your elders."

"Yes, ma'am," Max stepped back and rubbed her cheek.

I stared at them, "what's going on?" I tilted my head a bit.

Josie laughed looking in our direction, "remember the audition we went to last week? Yesterday was a callback and today I got a call saying I got the part."

I clapped my hands, "congratulations!"

Ana nodded, "good job. Sucks, Max."

"So where exactly do people film?" Pein asked as he approached the girls.

"Well, this tv show is going to have some parts in Colorado, but it's mostly going to be in California."

I looked over seeing Kisame walk up to me. "When are you leaving?"

Josie counted on her fingers, "tomorrow."

"WHAT!?" Hidan and Max yelled at the same time. "But–but!"

"The plane leaves at eight in the morning," Josie's eye widen a bit, "dear I should tell my grandmother, I don't want to leave her alone."

Hidan smirked walking up to her, "so when are we going to be alone?"

Josie returned the smirk leaning in. "When you get to know me, and still like me."

Hidan chuckled, "please, I've dealt with a lot of women, I can deal with you."

"Oh, Hidan. A lot of men have said that to me. And where are they now?"

Hidan leaned closer lowering his voice, "I'm not like other men."

"Sexual!" Deidara coughed.

Josie pat his cheek a bit, "I hope not." she turned and grabbed her purse heading towards the door. "I like you too," she winked. "I'll see you all tonight," Josie waved closing the door.

"What a nice lady," Tobi said waving his hand.

I skipped over to Hidan smiling at him, "you like someone." I poked his side wanting a reaction from him.

Hidan glared down at me, "at least I don't fall head over heels when I get touched." My eyes widen. He grabbed the back of my hand glaring at me.

Ana grumbled in the back, "way to go, jackass. Not only did you know but you had to do it."

Kisame frowned, "do what?"

"Nothing."

Hidan flopped himself on the couch, "like I've said, I like my women like my sacrifices."

"Dead and bloodless," Deidara snorted. "Necrophilic."

"No! Hard to get, freak!"

"You hate it when your sacrifices run and hide," Kakuzu reminded the Jashinist.

Hidan growled at the older man, "shut the fuck up, Kakuzu!"

My legs slightly trembled as my cheeks flushed. I didn't know what was going on as I was too focused on not letting my emotions get the best of me. Ana sighed and took my hand leading me to the kitchen. Inside, she did the routine of shaking her head, sighing, and washing the back of my hand.

* * *

True to her word. Josie came back around nine at night saying that her grandmother had slept an hour later than usual. I like grandmas they help out and make you laugh. Very loving people.

Max had arranged a domino tournament between all of us. One by one someone got kicked off. Surprisingly the first round Pein got out. But we were so afraid of him we just said that it was a practice round and that it didn't count. So technically the first one out was Zetsu. He did that on purpose because he wanted to go out and eat. After many rounds, Konan, Kakuzu, Josie, and Hidan were left.

Max passed the bowl of popcorn to me. "This is more intense than I had imagined."

Deidara shoved his hand in staring intently at the people playing. "Real intense." he shoved the handful in his mouth.

I grabbed the bowl and ate slowly, too distracted to the end of the game.

"Done!" Konan exclaimed, she was the first person to get rid of the playing pieces. The other three revealed what they had left.

"Damn it," Josie said scooting back, "I lost." I handed her the bowl as a prize for making it that far playing against Kakuzu. She set it on her lap so Hidan, Josie and I could eat off it for a while. Hidan stared at his pieces shoving for the popcorn grabbing a handful.

"Pss." Itachi softly whispered, "pass the bowl to the other side." I gently grabbed the bowl from Josie's lap not wanted to distract the players and handed it to Itachi and the others.

Hidan grumbled and reached out. What should have been the popcorn, he grabbed something else.

"Hey!" Josie smacked his hand away, "at least buy me dinner first." she carefully eyed him but didn't look all that bothered.

Hidan, on the other hand, looked completely horrified. He remained frozen not believing what he did. But that wasn't exactly the case.

Josie's facial expression changed as if something clicked. "Did you feel…" she trailed off as Hidan stood up looking a bit angry. "I believe you did."

Konan leaned over the coffee table, "I don't get it? Shouldn't he be happy or making perverted remarks."

"Who the hell–what kind of sick trap freak are you?!" He yelled.

"Shit," Max muttered knowing what was happening. I'm still very confused, and I'm sure you are too. She got up joining Josie as she dusted off crumbs.

"Hidan, why are you making a ruckus?" Pein asked looking annoyed.

"Cuz I touched a fucking dick!" He yelled.

"I thought you called Girls Bitches?" Kisame called out laughing at his own joke.

Hidan's face redden a bit, "I meant I touched a fucking dick, cock, penis! Call it what you want it's the same." Josie didn't say anything as Hidan continued, "I don't mess around with traps or drags, _man_!"

"Hey!" Max snapped getting mad for Josie, who still wasn't giving a reaction. "There is a difference between drag and transgender."

"You're transgender?" Ana asked looking quite surprised.

"And proud," Josie smiled back at us.

"What a nice lady," Tobi seemed happy as he felt her smile radiating.

I really don't know what's going on. I hope by now you understand. If you do, would you mind explaining to me? Everything is going quite fast.

"What's… that?" Deidara asked not knowing how to say it.

" _denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex,"_ Ana looked up at her phone. "That's what Google says."

Josie shrugged, "pretty much."

Hidan grumbled, "either way I don't go for guys!"

"Well, that's nice but _she's_ a _girl_ ," Max emphasized.

"Shut up!" He snapped.

"You shut up!"

"Shut up!"

"Shut up!"

"Shut up!"

"Shut up!"

"Shut up…"

The two slowly trailed off as Pein stood over them glaring. His eyes screamed murder, not willing to tolerate more of the yelling and childish fighting. "If you two don't shut your mouths. I will personally rip your tongues out, stretch them out until they're long enough for me to tie around your necks and strangle you two until you die of suffocation." He paused, "and I'll watch with delight as I drink a cup of hot chocolate."

Hidan and Max stepped back fearing the leader's gruesome detailed threat. "I'm out of here," Hidan stomped off to his room.

"Me too!" Max stomped off to the kitchen.

We remained quiet for a bit wondering what to say next. "So…" Sasuke began.

I raised my hand, "I'm still confused, would you mind explaining more."

Josie smiled and took a seat, "I don't mind explaining. Where would you like me to start?"

"How you knew?" Kisame awkwardly answered. "And what it is?" Everyone in the Akatsuki (plus Sasuke) seemed awkward and a bit tense.

"I've always know that I was a girl, I wanted to wear dresses and talk to girls about boy crushes when I was younger. It wasn't till I was 16 that I couldn't take it anymore, so I told my parents." She paused thinking for a bit, "I live with my grandmother so you can imagine how my parents reacted. I moved four states over so I wouldn't have to deal with anyone being an ass to me. Actually, Hidan is in my top five nicest bad reactions."

"What do you mean by that?" Konan asked a bit confused.

"Well, his reaction was negative, but it was nicer than what I've gotten in the past."

Tobi raised his hand, "who's the first nicest–bad reaction?"

Josie smiled, "my grandmother, she was confused and didn't like it. But after an hour she just asked if that's how I felt and said that she loved me, but now as a granddaughter." Like I said, grandmas can be nice.

"So what's the worst?" Deidara asked.

"I was sent to the hospital."

"That's intense," Sasori stated.

"But it's tied with my dad's reaction."

"What was his reaction, I'm guessing bad?" Pein said.

Josie nodded, "I was almost sent to the hospital, even though I should have." she sighed, "what a dick."

"Wait," Ana frowned, "aren't there sex change surgeries? I remember reading a news article about it."

Sasori looked at her, "you took my newspaper?"

"That doesn't matter," my sister shushed him.

Josie snorted, "of course. But like any other surgery, it cost a lot of money. Even if you do have a good insurance. Plus, it isn't one surgery its multiple."

Kisame slightly chuckled to himself. "I know this is terrible but I guess you can say that Hidan got… cock blocked." he snorted.

Some of the members hid the smiles they got. Josie pinched the bridge of her nose but cracked a smile. Zetsu came through the ground wiping his mouth with a napkin.

"What did I miss?" he asked.

Tobi laughed, "what didn't you miss, Mr. Zetsu."

" **That's why I asked dumbfuck. Don't answer my question with another question,** " Black Zetsu snapped. "Hey, don't say that Tobi is just being a nice boy." White Zetsu frowned, " **shut it, cock sucker!** "

Ana sighed, "every time she's gone he says it."

Deidara got up, "well thanks for that awkward argument, Zetsu. But I'm going to bed."

"It's only ten," Kakuzu said looking at the clock by the front door.

"Ten!" Josie yelled, "I have to be in bed. We need to leave around 2:30 in the morning!" She jumped from her seat and quickly went to the kitchen to retrieve Max.

I looked over at Ana, "I think it's time for us to go to bed also." She nodded and got up with me.

"Night guys," I waved to them, "night, Papa Pein."

"Night," he grumbled glaring at me.

As I was walking to my room I noticed a familiar gray figure. "Hi Juuzou," I bend down to pet the cat. He purred into my hand. I walked into my room and changed into my pajamas. I yawned and turned the lights off to sleep.

* * *

"No," I mumbled in my pillow feeling Ana tug on my arm.

"Come on you told me to wake you up before Josie and Max left," Ana huffed and continued pulling.

"Because I didn't think I'd actually have to wake up."

I sensed Ana's eye roll. She yanked me out off bed hauling me out the room. I flinched at the light in the living room. Everyone was already downstairs making me the last to arrive. The Akatsuki stood in front of Max and Josie saying their farewells. Hidan looked like a complete brat with his arms crossed and pouting face.

"Goodbye, Josie," I said giving her a hug, "it was a pleasure. Come and visit when you can." I looked and returned the smile she's giving me.

"It was a pleasure to meet all of you," Josie looked at the end of the line. She let go of me and smirked walking over to hidan. "Why so quiet?"

"Because."

"Because I was right?"

Hidan frowned a bit, "what do you mean…" he trailed off realizing what Josie had been saying this entire time. ' _Get to know me, and see if you still like me.'_ "I mean, we won't be doing _much_ ," he shrugged, "but I have nothing to lose."

"Pride," Zetsu snorted. Hidan glared at the plant man.

Josie smiled, "well, the next time we see each other we'll decide." She leaned up giving him a kiss on the cheek before walking to Max.

"We have to leave now. I'll see you guys around ten," Max grabbed the keys and one of Josie's bags. The two waved and closed the front door.

The Akatsuki remained quiet.

"I'm going to bed," I yawned.

Sasuke picked Juuzou up who nuzzled in his chest, "yeah me too."

We all said good night (even though it was two in the morning) and went back to our rooms to sleep.

* * *

 **AN: so my question is based off what I noticed. I didn't realize this until midway through Akatsuki Corporation. I've always planned on having Josie, but my question is.**

 **How many other Naruto Fanfictions have an LGBTQ+ character.**

 **I didn't notice or ask myself this until I started the chapter. Which is good cuz they're normal people like everyone else so it shouldn't be questioned. But, I hope I'm not the only story to have a transgender or gay or whatever. But, if I am then… cool, I guess. I'd like to read stories if there are any.**

 **And between you and I, reader. I have a future story (way into the future) that'll have a gay character who brings in a lot of humor. Well, the story itself is funny so it's not that special. Hehe.**

 **Another thing, I won't post Tuesday and Friday's. I'll just post at random when a chapter is finished and polished to it's best. I have no school and work is on the weekends so I'll have plenty of writing time.**

 **K bye.**


	86. Gentleman

**Linda: Hi!**

 **Ana: Hey.**

 **Max: Hello~**

 **AN: abracadabra! I'm here…sorry.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **Thank you, Pongsathorn, for favoriting and following the story. Slip a review, wink wink.**

* * *

 **Max**

The door closed on its own. I dragged my legs to the couch throwing myself on it. To my surprise, no one was around despite it being almost ten in the morning. My eyes grew heavier, I don't have the energy to go to my room to sleep. I cuddled with the nearest pillow and fell asleep.

I was awakened by the sound of a soft laughter. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to wake myself. I rolled onto my stomach and looked up to see Deidara watching TV.

"Hm? Or you're awake," he looked over at me.

"What time is it?"

"Twelve in the afternoon. You really passed out," he laughed and patted my head.

I frowned as he turned the TV off and got up. "Where are you going?" I followed him with my eyes as he walked to the back.

"I'm going to blow some shit up. Want to join?"

I shrugged. I know I won't be able to go back to sleep. I got up and followed him. Deidara opened the door to the back door and led me to the middle of the field.

"So what kind of stuff are you blowing up?"

He put a blueprint to my face showing it off like a child would show off to their mother. The smaller drawings were his usual explosives, in the middle of the of the page was a giant bird with two heads and long slender wings. I raised an eyebrow.

"Is that new?"

"Yeah, I'm testing it out here. My plan is to see if I can–. You know? Even if I explain my explosives, you still won't understand it. It's ninja stuff."

I glared at him, "you calling me stupid." I sighed and looked around more. "Hey, Deidara–"

 **BOOM.**

An explosion went off right next to me. I crouched down feeling my ears ring and head spin.

"Did not mean to do that," Deidara held back his laughter.

"Fuck you, Deidara!" I screamed at him. I punched his arm and held onto my head. Slowly, everything began to settle down.

After Deidara tested all of his clay like he usually does, he began setting traps. He wanted it to a be phase one of an ambush. Around the trees, wires were tied together in a zigzag. I was told to not move because of the clay in the ground. And to top it off, a medium size bird is going to be falling from the sky. He's pretty… what's the word? Excessive.

"Good," Deidara walked back and stood next to me. "All we need is a test dummy. So go on out there, Max!" I stared at him. "I'm joking relax." Deidara did a hand sign and a clone of him appeared. The clone ran over to the trees. "Ok, let's get this show on the road." Deidara famously smirked and raised two fingers up.

… nothing.

"That's weird–"

Suddenly, what should have been bombs going off one at a time, all traps went off together creating a gigantic explosion, smoke covering the entire estate. As the ground rumbled, I felt the explosions coming closer and closer. Deidara pulled me to the ground using his body to cover me as a blanket of heat covered us. When it finally cleared away, Deidara got up and stared blankly at the scene he caused.

"Well that was unexpected," He looked back at me with a cheeky smile.

I huffed and got up dusting myself off. "I was hoping for a calm day, but looks like I'm not getting that either."

"What do you mean?"

"Didn't get the part, didn't get to relax today."

Deidara wiped dirt off his nose, causing it to smear on his cheek. "Why, are you so fixated on acting and theater?"

I threw my hands up, "it's my dream to be an actress!" How, does Deidara not know this?! Do I not talk about this? "Ever since I watched soap operas as a kid, I've always wanted to be an actress. I always believed that I could do a better job than some celebrity hot–shot."

Deidara smiled down at me, "is that so? You really think you got what it takes?"

"I don't think, I know!"

Deidara nodded, "alright, let's bet on it. If you become an actress, a famous well know actress, I'll give you twenty dollars. If you don't, then you give me twenty dollars. Deal?"

I smirked, "easiest bet I'll ever make." We shook hands.

We laughed. Deidara and I walked towards the back doors for dinner. Voices inside grew louder the closer we got to the living room.

"Hey," I waved as I hadn't seen anyone since last night. "What are you guys up to?"

Kisame grinned, "watching COPS!"

I looked over at Ana. She was sitting on the couch looking at her phone.

"Is dinner ready?"

She peeled her eyes from the screen frowning. "We already ate dinner."

"You what?!" Deidara snapped, "why didn't anyone call us? I'm starving…." he held onto his stomach.

"The two of you were running around like idiots," Pein shrugged. He chuckled as a man ran away from the cops. The hooded man climbed down the tree trying to outrun a dog but tripped over a rock.

I crossed my arms and pouted, "fine. C'mon Deidara, get fancied up so we can go eat!" I turned on my heels and walked up the stairs. They don't want to call us to eat? We'll just eat to a four–star restaurant. See how Kakuzu likes the thought us spending a lot of money in one night.

After showering and getting ready I grabbed my purse and headed out my room. "I'll be back, Juuzou," I smiled as the cat opened one sleepy eye and meowed. I walked down the stairs looking at the group wondering if Deidara was already done?

"What's the occasion?"

I turned to see Sasuke standing behind me holding a crossword booklet. "I'm getting dinner," I smiled twirling in my dress. It was a soft yellow with long sleeves and a black collar. "Deidara and I missed dinner so we're going to a FOUR STAR RESTAURANT!" I said loud enough for Kakuzu to hear. "Don't get jealous," I winked at Sasuke.

He rolled his eyes, "I'm not the one who should be jealous." he walked away to sit next to Linda, who showed him her book.

I turned around to see Deidara coming down the last steps of the elegant stairway. I blushed, "DEIDARA!" I gushed at him, "you look amazing!" Deidara looked up from adjusting his sleeve. He was wearing a suit! He also let his hair down and tied it in a low ponytail, not including the signature hair over the eye.

"Thanks," he mumbled standing in front of me. There wasn't much of the height change from my black low heels.

"If you look like that, we might now be able to return," I smiled.

"Oh really?" Hidan smirked.

I glared at him, "I meant that a lot of girls will be circling around him. Wait, maybe we could use your looks to our advantage!" A discount or having a shorter waiting time. I pulled Deidara to the door so we could hurry. I threw my coat on and turned back to the group, "we'll be back."

Ana chuckled, "have fun on your date."

Deidara and I glanced at each other but immediately looked away as we head towards the Volkswagen.

* * *

"Wow!"

The host already sat the two of us at a table in the middle back. Handing us menus, she smiled saying our waiter would be with us.

"This is really unnecessary," Deidara glanced around before looking down at the menu. "You weren't kidding!"

I laughed, "initially, I was just going to have us dress up and get pizza. Trick the Akatsuki into thinking we were at a nice restaurant. But once I saw you, I knew I just had to stroll you through the town!"

Deidara redden a bit, "I am quite the gentleman," he ran a hand through the lock of hair. The waiter came over and pulled his notebook out. He looked up and stared at me, he slowly grinned.

"What can I start the pretty lady tonight?"

I lightly smiled, "I'd like a limeade please."

He smiled, "anything you like." His name tag read Justin. As he continued examining me, Deidara coughed out loud.

"Hi, I'd like water," he snapped. The waiter sighed and looked at him.

"Sure." He looked back at me and smirked, "I'll bring those out and get _your_ order."

I pursed my lips together and looked back at Deidara, "nice guy…"

Deidara glared at me, "really nice."

After deciding on what to get the gossip rolled in.

"Really? But why would you take a long way?" Deidara frowned as I told him my ride back home.

I sighed, "I just needed to think. Watching Josie walk through the security made me think of… you know?" I lowered my voice, "the bastard who shall not be named." Deidara nodded, "I guess I'm back to just hanging with you guys."

"Sorry if we aren't cool enough for you anymore," Deidara rolled his eyes. I narrowed my eyes feeling a bit of shame from saying that.

"Sorry," I mumbled, "on the bright side, I'm all yours tonight," I smiled. Deidara stared in awe at me.

"Sup," Justin pulled his notepad again. "So, what can I get you tonight?" His eyes and smiled were curved in a flirtatious manner. I couldn't help but feel as if _he_ wanted to be the one having dinner with me.

"Yeah, I'd like alfredo pasta with chicken please."

"Of course, and you?"

Deidara's eye twitched, "I'll have a steak, medium rare, everything on it," he glared. Justin also gave him a disgusted look before walking to place our orders to the chef.

I sighed, the tension began to feel suffocating. Deidara grumbled under his breath and looked back at me. "Seriously, fuck that guy. His attitude is shit and his flirting sucks." I looked away as Deidara continued. "I'll be a gentleman and not blow him up."

As the food arrived, I had been trying to keep Deidara in check. It didn't help when Justin continued talking and flirting with me as Deidara continued to ask for more water. Finally, once he left to go get what I asked, Deidara and I were left alone to eat.

"I'm going to say something."

"Can we at least eat our food?" I pleaded.

"Is there a problem with the food?" Justin held the pitcher of water. For the first time, he looked genuinely concerned for our service.

Deidara got up and glared at him. I hid my face behind my hands feeling embarrassed. "Yeah asshole, your attitude is so bad it's tainting the food. Not only that but you're hitting on my date… for the night."

Justin smirked, "I don't know what you're talking about?"

"C'mon even the old couple over there knows!"

I turned to see an older couple turn their heads away from us. "How long have have they been watching us?" Deidara grabbed my hand and pulled me so we could walk away.

Justin sighed, "women are so scary."

Looks like the police will have to investigate a murder in a four–star restaurant. Deidara turned, smiling at the waiter. I shivered, that can't be a good sign. He let go of my hand and walked towards the dark haired boy.

"Yeah they are," bringing chakra out, Deidara punched Justin sending him flying through a couple tables. "Sadly, you got punched by a male ninja." he turned to me, "run!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the whole restaurant.

A security guard tried grabbing us but Deidara tripped him with the velvet ropes that are used for the line. As we headed outside, I noticed Deidara smiling in delight at the scene he was causing. My shock was replaced with anger. I snatched my hand back and ran to the driver's side of the Volkswagen. I shoved the key into the lock to open the doors. We slipped in and I turned it on letting the engine give a soft roar. I shift the gears quickly to make a fast escape.

"Remind me to never complain about you taking the time to reverse," Deidara laughed as he looked behind us.

I gripped the steering wheel, my knuckles turning white. "I can not believe you did that?!" I snapped, "Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to try a high–class pasta!?" My anger was being fueled by my hunger and Deidara's stupid idea.

I slammed the brakes and purposely took a sharp right. Deidara slammed his head into the door.

"What the fuck, Max!" He glared at him.

I pulled up to a pizzeria and got out leaving the car on. I stomped into the empty restaurant, the cashier jumped in fear. "Do you have pizzas that never got picked up?"

"Y–yeah, we have a large vegetable pizza and a large Hawaiian." She stammered.

"I'll take both!" I dug through my purse for change. The bell above the door dinged. "How much are both pizzas?"

"That'll be ten dollars and thirty–two cents."

"What about with this?" A hand slammed a bottle of coke down in front of me. I looked up to see Deidara glaring at the bottle.

"What are you doing?"

"I got thirsty," he glared at me.

My eye harden, "I had two fives to make up for the pizzas, you better have money!"

"I do!"

The cashier looked petrified with our yelling. She took our money and ran to go warm the pizzas up in the oven. I glared at Deidara, "What are you doing here I left the Volkswagen on," I didn't want anyone taking it.

"Please, no one is stealing something old," Deidara rolled his eyes and drank his coke.

I scoffed, "it's in good quality for your information." I crossed my arms and turned away. The cashier came back placing the two boxes of pizza on the counter. "Hey, did it get a big darker?"

"Yeah, someone with headlights on left," the cashier pointed out the window. My stomach churned as I looked to see the empty parking lot. I ran out swinging the door open. The Volkswagen was gone, it was a bad part of the city. I slowly turned to Deidara who was standing behind me with the boxes.

"… oops…."

"I'M GOING TO MURDER YOU!"

* * *

I slammed the front door and stomped inside.

"Bad date?" Kisame smirked.

"Fuck You, Kisame!" I snapped feeling my rage boiling over.

"What did I do?"

The front door opened, Deidara slammed the door shut and stomped over glaring at me. "What the fuck is your deal?!"

"What's my deal!? You got us kicked out and most likely banned from the restaurant and you got the Volkswagen stolen. I had to walk!"

Deidara's scowl deepened, "You have no reason to be mad about the restaurant! The fucking waiter was treating you like a god, I got the shitty end of the service."

"You didn't have to make a scene!" I screamed.

Pein stood over us and glared, "if you two don't stop screaming," he muttered quietly, "I will cut Deidara's tie in half and gag the both of you." I gulped.

"He started it…" I mumbled.

Deidara rolled his eyes, "the waiter fucking started it." He was right, Justin did start it.

"You couldn't have stayed in the damn car, no you needed a drink!"

"I offered you a ride."

"Birds make me uncomfortable!"

"You're terrified of them just admit it," Sasuke called out. I glared at him.

"Deidara, apologize for the Volkswagen. Max, apologize for yelling," Pein ordered.

"But–"

"If you don't do what I asked, I'll grab Max's heels and shove them up your–"

"I think they get it," Konan interrupted Pein. Pein nodded his head sternly and walked back to his seat.

Deidara and I looked at each other but turned away. We didn't say anything at first but sighed and finally muttered an apology to each other.

"Finally," Ana rubbed her head, "they kissed and made out."

Deidara frowned, "you mean kiss and made up?"

"Yeah…."

Linda glared at her sister and turned to Sasori. "Get in a fight with Max so you two can make up later."

"You two are weird." I sat next to Sasuke feeling the pizza in my tummy. We ate on the side of the road and gave the leftovers to a homeless man sleeping on a corner. My eye lids drooped as the food and running away began to take effect.

"Why don't you just go to bed," Sasuke asked as he was doing a crossword puzzle.

"Because I'm already asleep," I muttered, feeling my consciousness slipping away.


	87. Shipping Wars

**Max: And they all live happily ever after.**

 **Linda: Did they… did they really?**

 **Max: Yes, now go to bed child.**

 **Linda: No… I want another story!**

 **Max: Well how about this new chapter?**

 **AN: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **Short. Sorry.**

* * *

 **Ana**

It was early afternoon, lunch was over and everyone returned to their chores. I was waiting for the dryer to end so I could return the cushions back on the couch. While I waited, I watched the news give a report on about how there's been a drop in drug activity in the past six months. I wonder if that had to do with Akatsuki Corporation going on a break since the earthquake. I shrugged the idea away as the dryer beeped. I put the pillows and towels in a basket and walked out to the living room to put them back in place.

"What's going on here?" My brow raised. Max was sitting stiffly as she read her book. The book trembled in her hands as she couldn't stop blushing. Itachi and Sasori were resting their heads on Max's lap, instead of the other way around.

"Payback," Sasori put it simply as he read a scroll.

"Payback," Itachi read his own book.

"Okay…" I set the basket on the coffee table and pulled the cushion out setting them nicely on the couch.

"What's up?" Hidan asked as he walked out the kitchen with Kakuzu.

"Nothing," I shrugged. He noticed the two on Max and looked back at me. "Payback."

Itachi looked up from his book, "It's more comfortable than what I thought."

Hidan looked amazed, "really? Let me try," he sat down on the floor and rested his head and back on Max's leg. "It's probably more comfortable up there, but this is also really nice."

A part of me got a bit curious and wanted to see for myself, but I ignored it and began folding towels. "Is this the first time anyone has complimented your legs like that?" I smirked.

Max held the book closer to her face. "No…."

Sasori frowned, "that's weird," he got up and closed the scroll.

"Ok guys," Kisame called as he walked down the steps towards us. "The library is clean." He let a tired sigh out and laid where Sasori was. Leg dangling off the couch due to his height. Kakuzu didn't say much of this and began counting some money.

The dining room door swung open and Linda skipped out smiling. She hummed making her way to the couch.

"Hey," she pouted to Kisame, "Sasori was there."

I rolled my eyes and turned to her so she could be the only one to hear what I had to say. "Goldilocks and Max's date doesn't compare to Sasori laying on her. Plus, it was only for payback."

She puffed her cheeks out, "you'll see. I'll find something way better than a stupid "date," Ana." She put air quotes around date.

"The only thing better than a date is them actually being together," I snorted sarcastically. "Let me remind you that Sasori has no feelings, no emotion."

Linda and I glared at each other. I just knew deep down that Goldilocks liked Max. And Max was a fangirl how could she pass up a rare opportunity. There was no way Sasori was capable of feeling emotion. I stopped glaring at Linda and smiled.

"Hm?" She titled her head as I patted it.

"So clueless."

I walked to the kitchen to see how Hidan and Kakuzu left my special room.

* * *

 **Sasori**

Sasori looked through a box labeled small tools. He was going to put small needles in his female puppet fingertips. The poison bubbled letting him know that he could take the needles out.

"SASORI!" His door banged. Sasori's eye twitched not liking that someone came to bother him. He sighed and got up to see who it was. He doubted they'd leave anytime soon.

"What?"

"Hi," Linda smiled at him. "So, Sasori, I was wondering if you–"

"No," and he slammed the door in her face.

Linda blinked not believing he actually did that. She frowned and crossed her arms. Why wouldn't he listen? All she wanted was for Max and Sasori to get married…again. Maybe that was too much. She smiled and knocked on the redhead's door again. He answered scowling down at her.

"I need you to follow me as we talk. It's important," she smiled. Reluctantly, Sasori followed her, eyeing the girl suspiciously.

"So, you've probably heard that Deidara and Max went on a "date" recently," Linda laughed, "so I need you to intervene."

Sasori raised a brow, "Why would I want to get into something that has nothing to do with me?"

"Think about it… think. Deidara is your partner, if he starts a relationship then wouldn't that affect your partnership. Plus, now he'd be blabbering on about a girlfriend AND art." Sasori rolled his eyes imagining the blond going on about his incorrect art. Every mission they went on Sasori prayed that Deidara would distract himself with his clay and leave the redhead alone.

"And how do you plan on making that happen?"

Linda tapped her chin, "not sure but whatever you do, just make it seem natural." she patted his shoulder, earning a scowl, and skipped down the hallway to the stairs. Linda smiled to herself, she could trust the redhead, right?

Later that day Sasori walked out his room to see if Max had come back. She left to get some bathroom supplies at the store and Sasori had her pass by the art store for him. He needed some simple sandpaper for an arm, he didn't notice he ran out. Sasori sighed seeing the brat and two girls talking at once, probably about something stupid.

"Right, Goldilocks?!"

"Stop calling me that?" Deidara snapped. He rolled his eyes and looked over seeing Sasori heading towards them. "Sup."

Linda looked up and smiled, "well if isn't my favorite Akatsuki member!"

"Where's Itachi?" Sasori frowned.

"I meant you silly."

The three stared at Linda blankly. Her smile faded as the redhead didn't appreciate her forced kindness. Deidara and Ana returned to their argument on proper etiquette. The redhead glared at their yelling and looked at Linda.

"Where's Max, she's taking long."

Deidara raised a brow, "impatient much?"

Linda smiled wide, "caring much?" She blushed in excitement at the thought of Sasori caring for the fangirl. She giggled and turned to Ana.

Ana scowled and rolled her eyes. "Look, I'm sure Deidara cares as well!"

"Stop shipping me!" Deidara turned to Sasori who raised an eyebrow. "Linda ships you and Max while four eyes over here wants me with her."

Sasori looked over at Linda who fiddled with her shirt. "To be fair you two were married." Shortly, everyone began speaking at once. Deidara and Sasori arguing together against the girls or at each other. The sister fighting over their ships and trying to justify their intentions to the Akatsuki members. The front door opened making them pause.

"I'm back," Max held a brown bag full of items up. Ana, Linda, and Deidara ran over to her and spoke at once.

"Max, who's your favorite Akatsuki member?" Linda stared at her with wide honey brown eyes.

Max shrugged, "I'm not sure. I like them all."

"Bullshit," Ana muttered, "what about your trio?"

The girl nodded, "yeah I guess so. But, I don't have _one specific_ Akatsuki member that is my favorite. Why?"

Sasori sighed, couldn't she hand him the sandpaper already. The redhead was and is known for being the most impatient. Wanting things done quickly and efficiently. His eye twitched in annoyance as Max held the bag closed. If the three continued talking at once and asking questions he'd never finish his puppet. And he'd be forced to stay with them longer. Sasori tapped his foot wondering how to shut them all up so he could just grab the sandpaper.

"Jeez, what's with all of you?" Max frowned as the three talked at once, asking questions. "Do you want something to drink? I got juice boxes." She opened the bag hoping that them sucking on something would shut them up. "That reminds me, Sasori I–"

Before she could finish her sentence, Sasori grabbed what he asked for. He leaned in and gave her a peck on the cheek, thanking her before walking away. The thick silence ate the room up. Ana, Linda, Deidara, and Max's mouths hanged in shock.

"Hm? What?" The redhead glared at their staring. He rolled his eyes before making his way upstairs to finish what he started.

"Did–" Linda.

"He–" Ana.

"Kiss–" Deidara.

"Me?" Max finished. She gently touched her cheek feeling embarrassed.

"Yes!" Linda yelled loudly, "yes yes yes! Sasori X Max is starting off well!" The young one ran around squealing feeling proud as if she had planned it from the start. Deidara looked horrified at what his partner did, while Ana glared at her sister.

Sasori finished his puppet later that night. He sighed as he heard the sisters arguing down the hall. When will they give up this stupid idea? The man didn't mind what anyone else did in the Akatsuki, as long as it had nothing to do with him.

* * *

 **After Hours…**

Kisame let out a hearty laugh, "Sasori, you added fuel to the flame!"

Sasori frowned and rolled a scroll up, "I got my sandpaper so I don't care."

"Yeah, but these are fangirls. Is it really over?"

"Still don't care."

"Cold as always."

Sasori looked the Akatsuki member up and down, "fishy as always."

"You're a dick."

"You're a shark."

Kisame glared at the redhead, "fuck you, Sasori!"

"Can't I'm a puppet," the puppet stated bluntly.

"You're a real asshole you know that."

Sasori sighed, "I _am_ an Akatsuki member, aren't I?"

Kisame nodded and shrugged a bit, "yeah I guess you're right."


	88. Oh Boy

**AN: You might have to go back some chapters to see my foreshadow of this chapter. Heeheehee… :) enjoy.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **This one is actually (really) short. Sorry.**

* * *

 **Linda**

Sasuke was out with some Akatsuki members and Ana to go get food. So it's only me in the living room working on a crossword puzzle. Today's booklet is Holidays. Yesterday, was Hidan's birthday, that's a personal Holiday. It was fun, there were party games and Tobi made balloons. We had ribs (sorry piggy) and cake. I had to go to bed early because Konan said the rest of the night would be for adults. I didn't argue, I was pretty tired either way.

I hummed and wrote down Turkey for the Thanksgiving section. "Hello," I smiled as Max walked past me.

"Hey," she glanced around looking for something. "Have you seen my iPod? I wanted to listen to music."

I shook my head, "no. Do you want to use mine, I hardly use it." I pulled the device out my pocket and smiled handing it to Max.

"Thanks," she smiled, "what do you have anyway." She looked through telling me what I had. Apps, games, pictures of Juuzou. He's so cute when he's outside. "Linda…"

"Yes?" I looked up from the booklet. My face faltered as she was glaring at me, jaw clenched. "What…?"

"Can you explain this?" She turned the screen so I could see what she was looking at.

My eyes widen completely forgetting the photos I took. It was Max on her 15th birthday. The one Kisame told me to save for blackmail, but I never used it, and I forgot. Max and Sasuke had gotten drunk on accident and cuddled.

I uncomfortably chuckled as I looked up at Max. "It's a funny story really." I'm so getting punished.

Jinxing myself, Max punished me by making me do a lot of heavy chores. From dusting all the shelves in the library to wiping the roof gutters. The last one was washing the dishes. I let a loud sigh out, this isn't fair. Kisame was the one who suggested it at the time, plus I never actually used it. It doesn't matter now the photos are deleted. I continued scrubbing, purposely ignoring the kitchen door opening. I peeked through my hair to see who it was. My body relaxed knowing it was just Tobi.

"Hey, Tobi," I smiled, "how are you?"

"Hey, Linda!" he yelled as if he was scared. He fidgeted with his fingers.

"What did you do this time?" I turned the water off finishing the dishes. I walked over and stood in front of the masked man.

He hastily rubbed the back of his head, "no… Tobi didn't do anything."

"Well that's good," I smiled. At least one of us isn't grounded for two weeks.

"Tobi came in to tell you something!" He looked shaky and scared. I nodded to let him continue. "Uhh, Tobi… Tobi is a good boy, and likes to make friends! But Tobi doesn't want you to be my friend! Sorry!"

My mouth parted in shock. I know I've never been the biggest fan or considered Tobi my favorite Akatsuki member. But recently we've been getting along I thought we were friends. I looked down feeling rejected.

"Because!" Tobi screamed, he bowed heavily and began to stutter. "Tobi likes you more than a friend!" My cheeks redden, my eyes wide. Tobi stood up and wrapped his arms around me pulling me close to him. "T–Tobi likes you more than senpai!" he muttered to me.

I could feel his heart beating against his chest. The sound pulsing through my ear. Or… was that my own heart racing. That's when it finally clicked in my head.

"AHHHHHHH!" I let a piercing scream out pushing Tobi off me. I ran out the kitchen and saw the Akatsuki in the living room. I continued screaming loudly until I jumped into Papa Pein's laps.

He sighed and put the newspaper to the side, "What?"

Tobi burst out the kitchen, "LINDA!"

"Stay Away From Me!" I shrieked.

He grabbed a fistful of cloak by his heart, "so cruel."

Ana raised her hand, "I'm confused."

"Me too," Max raised an eyebrow.

I began stuttering trying to get what I wanted to say out. But Tobi beat me to it. He walked in front of the TV. Taking a deep breath he began. "Tobi has confessed his romantic feelings to Linda one minute ago!" He declared.

I let another scream out, "you're weird!" Tobi gasped looking hurt.

"Congratulations, Tobi," White Zetsu smiled, " **maybe you can find someone to deal with your annoying bullshit!** " Black Zetsu stated, aggressive as always.

"Woah," Deidara looked back and forth, "now that's news."

"I thought he was gay," Kakuzu looked surprised.

Itachi frowned, "why?"

"He only had eyes for Deidara." Everyone in the Akatsuki nodded understanding how Kakuzu could think that.

Tobi giggled, "Tobi has eyes for someone else." I cringed.

Konan stifled a laugh, "I know this is worse than what we think. But I can't help think this is cute."

"Should I fuck with Tobi about me being the (legal) ex–husband?" Hidan smirked at me.

"Shut up. Hm?"

Pein picked me up before gently setting me down on the couch. He got up and walked over to Tobi, looming over the boy. I almost felt bad for him. Pein's dark aura coming out as he glared at the masked man.

"Tobi, do you know what I do to boys trying to get to the girls?"

"You hug them... "

Kisame stood up and cracked his knuckles, "guess again. It's my duty to protect the innocence of my Little Guppy."

Pein shook his head, "I grab them by–" Pein was interrupted by the front door shutting. "What was that?"

"Sasuke and Max," Sasori said boldly, "they were so weirded out that they left. And I'm regretting not going with them." the puppet looked the three up and down.

I buried my face in my knees that I had pulled up. I felt confused, weirded out, and shaken. I looked over at Itachi. "Please calm things down before something or someone gets broken." But right as the words left me, the first of many things got broken. "Nevermind…" I groaned.

Send Help.

* * *

 **To be continued...kinda.**


	89. Kisame The Therapist

**AN: I have waited so long to make this chapter! I'm going to try my best. I hope you enjoy.**

 **Also, careful not to get burned, cuz today we're spilling tea.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **And thank you, Galaxies In Your Heart, for favoriting and following the story.**

 **Slip a little…review why don't you?**

 **Wink wink**

* * *

 **Max**

A pair of chickens ran past as Sasuke and I walked through the park eating ice cream. Things were just getting weird at the house. First, shippings, then Tobi confessing. Not only that but Pein's father instincts and Itachi's excessive candy eating. Well, that's not new but I needed something to add to the weirdness. I sighed and sat down on a bench.

"Things are getting out of hand," Sasuke mumbled taking a seat beside me. We didn't say much, just looking at the joggers' jog and dogs bark.

"Sasuke how do you…" I trailed off. Sasuke seemed to see my face pale and looked down the sidewalk as a couple walked in our direction. "Oh... my... god."

"Who is it?"

I gulped getting flashbacks to that morning when I caught Daniel cheating on me. His roommate had opened the door looking bored as if he'd open the door up to heartbroken woman all the time. Which I guess he did.

"That's the bastard who shall not be named roommate." My mind began racing. Everyone knows that if you see your ex's friend then you gotta look happy. Can't have them going to your ex and saying how unhappy you look and are probably missing them.

"Really?! Sasuke looked back at me with wide eyes. I nodded.

"Quick, Sasuke! Act like we're dating!" I whispered. I moved closer into Sasuke smiling up at him. He stared at me looking a bit awkward. The roommate walked by taking a short glance at me, most likely recognizing me he turned his head and continued walking.

I continued looking at Sasuke's soft face until he was gone. I sighed and leaned my head in my palms. "Do you still having feelings for him?" Sasuke asked as he finished the ice cone I bought.

"No… but it still doesn't feel too good to be reminded," I mumbled. "C'mon we should probably head back, don't want to give Papa Pein a heart attack." I giggled leading the two of us out the park.

Sasuke stopped walking once he opened the door causing me to run into his back. I peeked over his shoulder wondering what the matter was. The couches were turned upside down, the coffee table was on the stairs. The tv was sitting on the floor untouched, but the shelf destroyed in pieces. We looked at each other and back at the crime scene.

"Wanna go get Ice cream again, Sasuke?" I managed to get out as I continued looking at the destroyed mansion.

Sasori poked his head from behind the couch, "you two are staying and dealing with this like the rest of us."

I stepped in and closed the door walking to where the couch was. Kisame poked his head and turned the couch right side up. "Okay… so Pein is having a hot chocolate break, thankfully."

Tobi came out the broken shelf wobbling and tripping as he walked. "Tobi can't feel his Tobiness." the boy fell backward onto the ground.

I helped Kisame fix the living room up the best we could before Pein walked in. "Akatsuki, I'd like to call a meeting." Soon the rest of the Akatsuki came out of hiding and settled in the living room.

"Uh, Leader," Kisame raised his hand up. The blue man got up and stood tall by the sitting (older) Uchiha. "It has come to our attention that a lot of things are happening. So I thought, as a therapist, to guide everyone."

"Kisame," Itachi looked and sounded annoyed with his partner. "You are not a therapist. You will never be a therapist you work for the Akatsuki. Enough with the career playing."

Kisame smirked at the younger man, "oh really?" He opened his cloak a bit and pulled a large stack of packets in a beige folder. He dropped it on the Uchihas lap. Itachi scanned the contents slowly getting angry with what he was reading.

"I hate you," Itachi stated shoving the folder back at Kisame.

"What does it say?" Linda asked.

"Those are legal certificates that he is a therapist, detective, party planner, love handler, etc," Itachi grumbled taking a lollipop out of his cloak. Linda smiled at her friend happy that he was legally eligible to be able to do his careers.

"Like I was saying. I think we should hold an Akatsuki therapy session. Express our feelings and stuff like that." Kisame took a notepad and fake glasses out.

Ana scoffed, "why would we do that?"

Kisame smirked, "you'll see. So who wants to go first?" he glanced at the quiet group. "Tobi thanks for volunteering!"

"But Tobi didn't say anything."

"You're starting!" the blue man snapped.

Tobi grumbled, "you don't even know what volunteer means. Okay, I am Tobi!" He waved as he was happy again, "I confessed my feelings to the very nice and pretty Linda," he dreamingly sighed. Cringing, Linda turned her head away.

Kisame nodded, "and how did you know you had feelings for my Little Guppy?"

"She was so nice to Tobi."

I put my hand up to stop him, "you like her…just because she was nice to you?"

Tobi vigorously nodded his head. "She was also respectful."

Kisame smiled, "thank you for sharing with us. Alright, Deidara you're next."

Deidara was slouching in a chair playing with his hair. "What?" he frowned.

"Your turn to confess."

"Confess what? I've done nothing at all, fishy!" He grumbled not liking that he was being accused. Ignoring the insult Kisame smirked harder. Zetsu walked in holding a tray full of water bottles.

"Here."

"Thanks, every therapy session needs water."

Kakuzu frowned, "I thought they needed tissues?"

"That too." Kisame looked back at the blond, "so do you want me to confess for you or are you going to do it?"

Deidara glared at his older comrade, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Sure you do, last week you were talking to me about how you've developed feelings for–

"SHUT UP!" Deidara jumped out of his seat and glared lighting out of his eyes. "I told you that in confidence! Actually, you forced me to say it! SO KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTH SHUT!"

Tobi gasped, "is it Itachi?!"

"What?! NO!" Deidara glared.

"Sorry, it's because you two are married I'd assume one of you would develop feelings." Tobi shrugged. Deidara grabbed a water bottle and threw it, smacking the masked man in the face. He fell backward laying on the ground again.

"I thought I would do it," Itachi glared down on the ground.

"It's not Itachi. It's Max!" Kisame smiled.

That makes more sense. I really doubt Itachi and–Wait. I looked over at Deidara as he glanced at me. His cheeks growing redder by the second. I gulped feeling my throat dry out.

"Woah," Hidan glanced at us. "That's…that's not surprising I already suspected," he shrugged. The rest of the Akatsuki nodded already having their own suspicion. But, I was clueless.

"Yes!" Ana cheered.

"Nice, well poor Deidara is about to get a reality check, so is Ana." Kisame flipped through a new sheet of paper. "Max, would you like to go next?"

Everyone's eyes made their way to me. I shifted uncomfortably under their gaze. "What do you mean?"

"Where were you just now?"

I frowned, "Sasuke and I went to the park. Which was weird because two chickens ran by us."

Sasuke sighed, "we were by a dog park I don't know why there were chickens."

Kisame snickered and walked behind the couch I was sitting on. "Max, why did you go with Sasuke?"

"Cuz he was next to me."

"So was Sasori?"

I turned around staring at the smug shark. "Is this therapy or an interrogation?"

"Uh, don't worry about it." He cleared his throat and walked in front of where the TV was. "What I'm getting at is that Max isn't really interested in her trio anymore. Which kinda happened when she dated the bastard who shall not be named. But even now don't you think she'd go back to being that crazy fangirl."

Pein sighed, "Kisame if you don't get to the point, I'm burning your papers."

Kisame made a face, "fine. My point is that Max… has a crush on the young Uchiha."

Not a second went by and everyone erupted in laughter. Even Itachi, he turned his head away to hide a tiny smile growing. Kakuzu told Kisame that Sasuke and I have already pulled this dumb prank before. The mission we got trapped in a closet.

Kisame glared at everyone, "ok you can laugh but let me just say something. And if Max reacts that means I'm right." he looked back at me. The laughter had died down but I could hear some members snickering. "Hey, Max? Tobi wasn't the only one who heard you wake up from your dream."

At the moment my stomach dropped and my eyes subconsciously widen. Kisame scribbled something on his paper before continuing.

"Also you talk loud in your room when you panic."

Everything was quiet. Minus my heart beating through my ears, and heat rising on my cheeks. I gulped, Deidara looked confused, however, Ana was glaring at me. Linda looked lost and Sasuke… was blushing a bit. I squirmed in my seat not liking the stares I was receiving. They poked and prodded my skin.

Pein tapped his foot, "do I have to threaten him?" he thought out loud.

Konan shook her head, "no, because Sasuke's not the one who likes her… right?"

"Right?" Deidara threatened through his teeth. The cap of the water bottle he was squeezing popped off flying through the air. "Fucking Uchihas..." I grabbed a bottle of my own and chugged down some water.

"The energy has gotten really thick…" Linda mumbled into her water. Ana looked back over at me, her dark brown eyes sizzling onto my skin.

"Is that all Kisame," White Zetsu looked bored. " **You just summarized what we know blue man.** " Kisame glared at them but didn't answer.

"Is that all?" Sasori looked bored as always.

"Yeah."

The redhead rolled his eyes, "you make a terrible therapist."

"Well this was fun," Hidan got up to stretch, "but I've got to go pray."

While he walked into the kitchen for something to eat, the others didn't move. I stared down at my feet. I don't exactly know what to feel. I mean… it's not entirely true. Well, a crush is a small romantic emotion towards somebody. So yeah… I do have a crush on Sasuke. And this time, it isn't some prank. That sounds weird to me. I, Max Chavez, a crush on Sasuke Uchiha. (I haven't exactly admitted until now). I sighed and reached for my water bottle… but my phone rings. I took it out my pocket, I was hoping it was Josie, but it was a number out of state.

"Hello?" I got up and answered. The man on the phone spoke over a large fan. I paced the living room listening and nodding. Occasionally saying yes. After five minutes I hung up and looked at the Akatsuki.

"Okay! Who the fuck ate my grapes!?" Hidan burst through the kitchen door. "And who the fuck puts an empty container in the fucking fridge?!"

I whipped around and smiled at Hidan. "We're going back to California!"

"Why?" Kakuzu frowned.

"The Akatsuki Corporation building is done. Everything is fixed, we can go back!" I smiled.

Tobi clapped, "excellent!"

"That is some interesting news," Konan smiled.

"Meow."

I looked down as Juuzou walked by, "we're going to California."

"Meow."

"Because the building is fixed. You'll get to meet our first home."

"Meow."

I sighed, "I know you want food but can't you at least try and be happy." I smiled back at the Akatsuki, then Pein. "What do you say?"

Everyone looked at the leader to see what he had to say about this. Pein had his eyes closed and arms crossed. He tapped his foot letting himself think. As the seconds felt like hours he sighed and opened his eyes.

"I suppose."

To my surprise, we all cheered and ran to our rooms to pack. I heard some members talking about how they were going to miss the place but grew excited to get some action. I walked into the dining room to give Juuzou his food. As I walked back to my room I remembered the first day we were out of work. It seems like forever since we've done any deliveries. So much has happened, to me, to the others. I love the mansion, but we need to start rolling in money.

"This shit won't pack itself," I mumbled as I put my hair in a ponytail.

* * *

 **AN: Ending of the Mansion ark**

 **Damn, shit takes a while when you procrastinate. Man, I love this chapter and Kisame's dumb careers. I'll catch you guys soon hopefully.**


	90. Again

**AN: Hooray! We just finished the mansion ark. So it's time to do the last Ark of the story. Oooh… scary.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! WHY DID I GO 4 MONTHS WITHOUT POSTING! UGH I'M THE WORST.**

 **My apologies, I'd been busy with play rehearsals (the play itself was really good). I also had many essays and quizzes. Reading 200 pages a week. Work, dealing with life in general. Life is good… yay sarcasm.**

 **Also… it's been two fucking years! I really need to finish this story. So I can move on to other things. I hate writing out of stress and not joy.**

 **Also, thank you, KLili58 and TimeLightning, for favoriting and following the story.**

* * *

 **Ana**

I know that there's always a big time frame for every time we pack. But, now it's just starting to annoy me. Kakuzu was putting our things in scrolls, he's always been in charge of doing that. Overall we're close to packing up our stuff. Max said that we didn't have to worry about other necessities as the house came with it. So the next morning at seven we all stood outside the mansion as Goldilocks made his clay birds. Linda continued yawning and bugging the blond about the last time we flew to a house.

"Seriously, that was like four months ago, let it go!" He snapped.

"I still remember the day you took my innocence," She glared at him.

"You what?!" Kisame choked, he made his way over seeming bigger as he went.

"S–she didn't mean it like that," he tried explaining. Fumbling on about the stuffed pig incident.

"Hey! Leave Tobi's girlfriend alone!" Tobi glared at his senpai.

"I'm not your girlfriend!"

"So cruel…"

I rolled my eyes and helped Itachi put the scrolls in place so the Akatsuki could hide them in their cloaks. I'm telling you, their cloaks remind me of the Mary Poppins bag. Everything fits in there and you can't even tell. We chatted about what I'd be making for dinner tonight. Maybe something light like a salad with grilled chicken or soup.

Pein whistled getting everyone's attention. Kisame paused in the middle of choking Goldilocks. The blonde staring helplessly at his Leader in hopes for some backup.

"Akatsuki, and other four," he referred to Max, Linda, Sasuke and I, "it's time for us to depart," he announced formally. "Deidara?"

Goldilocks sighed and pushed his hand through his pouch after Kisame set him back on the ground. Grabbing and chewing some clay, two giant birds appeared. Instead of his usual four, two birds for seven of us. Linda and I went on the bird that Pein was on. It's always better to stick with the leader.

"Alright gang," Max stuttered looking very uncomfortable with the birds. "Let's head out."

I looked back at the mansion before sitting behind Konan. Well, time for our next adventure. Wonder what crazy shit will happen this time?

* * *

My eyes opened when I felt a rush of wind hit me. More than usual, it felt like we were falling straight to the ground. And from the sound of arguing and yelling, I determined that we _were_ falling straight to the ground.

"It's not my fault! If you hadn't run through a military base they wouldn't have shot us down in the air, now we're falling out the sky! And I'm using a shit ton of chakra to keep shit together!" Goldilocks snapped at what I'm assuming is Tobi or Hidan.

"Tobi just wanted to say hi!"

Yup, it's Tobi. I sat up and glared at everyone for waking me up. "Way to ruin everything, Romeo!" I snapped.

"But I'm Tobi?"

"She means that you acting all lovey–dovey reminds her of Romeo from Shakespeare's play," Max sighed. She didn't look phased at all about plummeting to her death. And yet she freaks out over a couple of small birds. Or two big ones if you count Goldilocks'.

Konan grumbled under her breath and stood up. "Deidara release the birds."

I squirmed, "Konan what are you doing," I was alarmed at the impact this would cause.

Deidara glanced at everyone and undid the birds. For a second we didn't move like we paused in mid–air. But after that single second, I heard multiple screams, including my own. I threw my hands in front of me waiting for my body to explode from excessive force. Suddenly, a group of paper stacked up and slipped underneath me. The falling slowed down and I was gently placed on the ground. I looked over to see Konan had done the same to everyone. But of course, Pein looked the least bit phased.

"Thanks, Konan," the three of us smiled up at her. I glanced around at the empty field. "Where are we?"

Kakuzu smoothed his cloak out, "we're about half an hour away from our destination, on the bird." he grumbled.

Pein sighed, "All of us will walk in the meantime until Deidara regains his chakra."

Linda gasped, "in the meantime. Why don't we tell each other stories?"

We all stared at Linda. I sighed and started walking down the trail. The Akatsuki followed we aren't getting back to the house if we don't start walking. Kisame and Linda rambled stories in the background.

We arrived at the Akatsuki Corporation building three hours later. After four stories and twenty arguments later we finally arrived at our destination. Max let out a breath and turned to smile at us.

"Wow, it's been a while. First things first, because constructing a building is expensive as fuck. I had to make some changes to pay it off."

Pein's eyebrows furrowed, "what kind of changes."

Max rubbed the back of her neck, "as you can see the building isn't as tall. So Tobi and Zetsu will still be in the basement and Sasuke and Ana will be on the first floor. But, two pairs will be on each floor. Hidan, Kakuzu, Sasori, and Deidara will be on the second floor. Pein, Konan, Itachi, and Kisame will be on the top floor."

"Okay, whatever," Sasori didn't seem to care.

"Can we go to the house yet?" Goldilocks whined. He began heading towards the bus stop. "I'm tired from walking, doing jutsu, and Tobi won't stop talking to me!" We all shrugged at once and followed him.

"Actually another thing…" Max nervously laughed.

Pein sighed, "what now?"

As we all rode the bus to the first house. Max shook her legs more and more. Just what did she do this time? I sighed and looked over at the members. They all chatted on about their own things. Hidan obviously arguing with Kakuzu about his god Jashin. Linda kept hiding behind Kisame to get away from Tobi. The bus slowly came to a stop just a block away from the house. We got off letting Max pay for us. She ran in front of us to stall.

"Okay, so the thing about the house is that–"

Pein pushed her to the side and started heading to the doors.

"The house isn't–" Max was cut off by a little girl yelling. We turned around to see a black limo parked out.

"KEVIN!" A girl with brown hair pulled in pigtails screamed. She glared at us with red cheeks. She wore leggings with her denim dress. "KEVIN!" The girl snapped again.

A man with a suit came rushing to her side. "Yes, my lady?" he slightly quivered in fear.

"What are these people doing at my house! Is Daddy having another game over!" she crossed her arms.

"Bitch," Hidan stared at her for a moment, "Who the fuck are _you_ to yell at _us_?"

Kakuzu grumbled in agreement, "this is ours, little girl."

Kevin, who I'm assuming is a butler or driver looked back and forward at us in terror. The little girl didn't look the least bit afraid. In fact, through her scowl, it looked like she was smirking a cocky smile.

"Guys!" Max yelled quietly at us. "To pay for the building… I sold the house…"

Pein slowly turned around, his eye flashing dangerously at her. "You what?"

"Ah," Max hid behind Itachi, "I sold… the house to pay for the building."

Kisame scoffed, "way to go, now where are we going to stay?"

Max shrugged, "let me see if I can get it back." Max cleared her throat and slowly walked towards the girl. "Um, do you know when your Daddy is going to be home?"

The girl wiggled her eyebrows as she thought to herself. "I'm not sure, maybe four hours maybe tomorrow," she smirked at us.

"Maybe now!" Kevin shrieked. A shiny red car stopped in front of us. The tires screeching as the driver hit the breaks. A man stepped out, his eyes sharp, jaw sharp. His coat flapping as the wind began picking up.

"Daddy indeed," Max whistled. Deidara glared and flicked her head.

"Melanie!"

"Daddy!" Melanie ran and jumped into her father's arms. He looked at us and smiled.

"Can I do anything for you?"

Pein sighed, "I think we should speak in private for this."

The man nodded and set the girl down. He led us back into what was our house when we first started out. The same glass door slid open for us. A sense of familiarity washed over me. The elevator rode up before opening its doors to show us the balcony that overlooked the couches and living room. Stepping past the green couch and down the stairs, a butler came through my - ahem - the kitchen. Forgot that _someone_ sold the house.

"So what can I do to help such fine gentleman?" The father took his seat on the couch with Melani on his lap glaring at us.

Max cleared her throat, "Well, my name is Max. And I don't know if you remember, it's been months so I don't blame you. But I was the one who sold you this house?"

The man raised his brow curiously, "Is that so?" He gently took his daughter off his lap setting her on the couch. He got up making his way to us with a questionable look. "What exactly did all of you come for?"

"We want to buy the house back," Pein stated. He didn't seem worried whether or not the father would accept our statement. But knowing Papa Pein, he'll get the house whether they like it or not.

The father nod taking in what he'd just said. He glanced at his daughter, then to his butler, before looking back at us. He began slowly pacing around humming a bit as if he was talking to himself. I sighed, just how long is he going to take? Finally, after going around in circles and Hidan threatening him to speak, the man looked up at us.

"Yeah sure, why not?"

Max stared at him, blinking back as it still hadn't really clicked in her mind. "Did...I hear that right?" She whispered to Sasori who was standing right next to her.

"Yes."

"Oh…" Max looked over at the man as it was his turn to wait for a response. "Um...wow was not expecting a… whatever." Max stopped talking before he'd change his mind. "So let's get started on signing papers!"

"STOP!" Melani called getting off the couch and stomping towards to us. Her father turned and crouched down to listen. "I don't want you to sell the house. I live here more than you do."

"Yes, but you only come here on the weekends," he paused, "once a month. I don't think you need it."

"But I love this house, Daddy," Melani pouted. She sat down on the ground and crossed her arms in anger. Her father sighed looking down at the girl.

"But we have other houses, honey. These people need somewhere to live. Remember what I said? Help the hobos." The dad smiled until Melanie sighed and got up.

"Who the fuck are you calling–" Kakuzu shoved a wad of napkins from his cloak and into Hidan's mouth to shut it. Like I said, Mary Poppins cloak.

"Fine!" Melanie huffed sticking her tongue out. She got up and walked over to Goldilocks where she kicked him in the shin before running off. The driver freaked and began apologizing for her behavior as Goldilocks was nearly ready to kill the girl on the spot. Max held her hand over his mouth and smiled at the father.

"Let's get started!"

* * *

The living room was quiet with the air off and lights dimmed as the sun was starting to set. The Akatsuki were sitting on the couch waiting for Pein and Max to finish the first part of the paperwork and paying.

Linda leaned over to me as she continued looking at Melanie glaring at us. "Um...how much longer do we have until they're done." She lightly flinched as Melanie pushed her chin out a bit as a way to intimidate us. I simply arched my brow.

"I'm not sure. I just hope we can make this our house again. Don't exactly want to deal with the little girl," I whispered. But I guess I wasn't quiet enough.

"Who you calling little?!" The girl got up from her chair and placed her hands on her hips.

"You," Kisame stared at her, "the last little girl I've seen is sitting over there." I snorted as Linda frowned.

"Rude…"

The elevator dinged and the four walked out. The father brought in a lawyer for the two. They made their way downstairs laughing (minus Pein) and looking very friendly.

"I'll see you tomorrow to finish. Melanie let's go home." The girl shot us one last glare before taking her father's hand and heading out with the driver, lawyer, and butler.

Once they left Konan spoke up asking how everything went.

"We made great progress and the house will be officially ours tomorrow."

Goldilocks frowned, "so what was all the laughing about?"

Max smiled, "Well, it's a good social strategy to loosen up the client. Add some jokes….maybe distract him to lower the price of how much the house is actually worth."

I rolled my eyes and walked over to _my_ kitchen to start dinner. It feels good to be here. I just hope we won't have to do any more packing.

"I don't know," Kakuzu grumbled, "I have a feeling it won't be the last time."

I glared at him, "shhh, I don't want to think about the idea of moving again. So much work."

Linda walked over to help me as I started unpacking the spices and food. Maybe today I'll make pasta, seems like Max deserves it for getting the house back.

"Ah, Sasuke… I found your booklet of crosswords."

Sasuke turned around looking over at Max as she gently smiled up at him. "Thanks." He took it from her and awkwardly returned the smile before walking away making her blush.

My right eye twitched...guess I'll be making steamed asparagus for dinner.

* * *

 **AN: Just in case you forgot, asparagus is Max's least favorite food.**

 **Anyway, I'm really glad that I've gotten in the mood to write….Kinda. But better than nothing.**

 **I'll see if I can see y'all soon. But I do have some work to catch up on in school.**


	91. House

**Linda: I'm trying to hide from Tobi**

 **Ana: I would tell you to toughen up and get out the cabinet. But then again this is Tobi, so I can't really blame you.**

 **AN: Back again, trying to throw chapters out. Let's get it!**

* * *

 **Linda**

It was weird to sleep in the house again. Getting used to the layout of the room. It was small, starting from the door which opened to a small hallway. Going straightforward was the bathroom, first door on the right was the small bedroom that only had a desk, dresser, small nightstand, and twin bed. But I liked it overall the natural lighting really brightened up the mood. Of course today wasn't how I'd imagine waking up on our first day back. The radio on my clock began to wake me as I preferred random stations over repetitive songs for my alarm. As I reach over to turn it off and open my eyes, I was greeted with a pair of dark brown eyes close to my face.

"Ah," I leaned back startled at the stranger in front of me. Their scowl making my eyebrows furrow wondering why I was being glared at.

"Sleeping in my room," Melanie clicked her tongue in a pitiful manner. Shaking her head she reaches over grabbing my stuffed bunny by the ear. "I'll be taking this. And don't try to say anything cuz my Daddy still owns the house!" she called out slamming the front door.

I blinked slowly feeling my lips gently purse into a pout. She took my bunny. What a rude kid. I grumbled under my breath before getting my slippers on and hurrying after Melanie so she wouldn't do any harm to Sir Forkman. (I gave him that name because of the sophisticated tie around his neck.) I paced my way down the hall and carefully running down the stairs. The living room was empty–meaning everyone is in the kitchen having breakfast. Also cuz an annoying little voice was echoing from the room. I walked in seeing the majority of the Akatsuki at the dinner table looking very grumpy. Ana was cooking pancakes by the smell of the food. And Tobi spun around in a chair that was around the corner.

"Morning, Little Guppy!" Kisame greets me as he stopped mid–air from crashing Samehada on the little girl. He quickly hid it behind him as she glared over her shoulder as to why he was standing so close to her.

"Morning….Hey, can I have Sir– my bunny back," I looked down not wanting anyone to know Sir Forkman's name. I wouldn't hear the end of it.

"Sorry, but we're busy at the moment."

I opened my mouth to retort but Tobi ran over to me putting distance between the two of us. "Morning, Linda! How did you sleep?! I slept great, I would have slept better if you would have circled yes, but maybe you were just tired!"

Last night Tobi slipped a note across the counter to me. It was the typical middle school stuff when you want to ask your crush out. 'Do you like me? Circle yes or no.' Obviously I put no, however, Tobi didn't take it too easy for the first minute. But later brushed it off as me being tired and told me he'd ask later.

"Tobi, please drop the subject for now. I'm trying to get my bunny back."

"I'll help!" He jumped around before running over to Melanie who was setting a small tea party.

"What?" She glared at him.

"The bunny. Tobi would be very thankful if you gave it back to his future girlfriend."

I stomped my foot, "I'm not going to be your girlfriend!"

Melanie raised her brow, "Who's Tobi?"

Tobi tilted his head, "I'm Tobi, didn't Tobi introduce himself?"

She looked even more confused but didn't want to pry more. "Whatever, what's with the mask? Giving a fashion statement or are you just that ugly?" She insulted.

"Tobi isn't ugly," Tobi defended himself.

Ana sighed, "we know," she stared intensely at the counter for a couple seconds before flipping the pancakes over. Probably remembering the charity we attended to sell the Akatsuki's looks for money. Melanie looked back over at Tobi and tossed the bunny.

"Whatever, I'm done playing with him. He's such a party _pooper_ ," she looked in my direction as she extended the word. Making me frown.

"Why don't you go play somewhere else," Deidara mumbled into his orange juice.

"Because I want to stay here. I think we should continue hanging out even after Daddy sells the house." Melanie innocently smiled at us. But I knew it was filled with evil intentions.

Hidan slammed his cup down, "Nope! Do you know how annoying it is to write out 14 characters–15 is a crime!"

"What about Josie?" Kakuzu questions.

"Shut up! She doesn't count."

"Who's Josie? Your girlfriend or something?" Melanie forward.

Hidan smirked as he picked his cup up again. "Soon…" He paused and looked over at me. "Don't worry ex–wifey, we had a good run."

I rolled my eyes, "I doubt that. Also, I told you not to call me that."

Tobi growled, "don't look or talk at Tobi's future girlfriend like that!"

Hidan raised his brow, "or what?" Right as the words left his mouth Tobi grabbed the jelly sitting right beside the pancakes and threw it. Hitting the Jashinist right on his cloak. Hidan calmly looked down at the jam slowly dropping down before glaring up at Tobi. A few seconds passed before he jumped up and started chasing the masked man.

"AHHHHH!"

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT!"

Hidan ran off chasing Tobi up the stairs and through the house. He pulled his scythe out and swung it around in an attempt to hit Tobi. Kakuzu sighed getting annoyed by the noise going around. He raised his arm shooting strings out catching both Hidan and Tobi.

"If the both of you don't settle down, I will rip you both in half," he growled. He's so grumpy.

Hidan fumed, "not until I kill that fucker for throwing the fucking jelly!"

"Language," Itachi warned as he walked into the kitchen. His arm resting on the buttons of his cloaks. "Do I need to remind you that a child is present?" Hidan stuck his tongue out. "I apologize for such heavy language. Are you alright, Sasuke?"

Kisame nearly spat his water out as he started laughing. While Sasuke frowned up at his brother. "What?"

"I was kidding. But watch your mouth," He glared at everyone. Itachi took his seat and went back to his emotionless face taking some pancakes. I didn't think the "third" leader could make jokes.

After a while, we all settled back down to finish. Sasori was flipping through the news station wondering if anyone was covering something worth watching. As he was just about to change it, a familiar female anchor came on.

"And covering the recent story on the pig epidemic we have Robert Rodriguez on the scene, Robert?"

The screen switched to an all too familiar man holding his microphone. "Yes, Maria I am standing right outside the apartment where illegal fish trading was occurring. Seems like this is a fishy situation. Back to you Maria."

Deidara's face gradually hardens as he began getting flashbacks to when he and Sasori were mistaken as lovers. "He's alive!? He managed to live through my explosives and our constant beating?!"

Sasori glared at his partner, "he was in the hospital. Damn modern doctors."

"Are you guys bad people?" Everyone paused at looked at Melanie as she stared at everyone. Getting an overview of the people she was sitting with at breakfast.

"What makes you say that?" White Zetsu asked. " **Yeah, the fuck are you assuming?** "

She paused before continuing, "You hurt people, each other, yell a lot...Are you...robbers or criminals?"

The silence returned as everyone didn't know what to say. The elevator dinged breaking our awkward gaze.

"Hey, guys," Max smiled as she walked in. Following her was Pein, Konan, Melanie's father, and the lawyer. "Guess who owns the house? This gal!" She continued smiling until noticing the awkward glances to the girl. "What?"

The father looked over at his daugther, "Alright Melanie it's time for us to go."

"Daddy these-"

"Well it was nice and fun but you have many things to do," Deidara talked over her so she wouldn't expose us. He motioned the way out.

"I'll tell Kevin to start getting the car around. I'll wait for you downstairs." The father walked back up the stairs and into the elevator.

Pein looked at us in question, "what's the deal?"

Melanie got up and started walking to the elevator. "You people are freaks, what kind of group is this? I'm telling my Daddy to buy the house back because a lot of you are just criminals and this is where you're hiding."

Pein simply looked at the girl. "Okay." He pressed the button and shoved her in before closing it sending the elevator down.

"YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER!"

"Just did."

I smiled as Pein rolled his eyes. He turned and glared at us. "Who's the imbecile that exposed us?"

I glanced over at Kisame as he glared over at Hidan, Tobi, and Deidara. He rolled his eyes again and headed back to the kitchen to get a mug of hot chocolate.

"Moving on," Max took her seat, "we should finish cleaning up and packing. Tomorrow we go back to work."

"Finally," Kakuzu said, "it's about time that we start making money." Everyone nodded in agreement.

I smiled, "Papa Pein?"

"Hm?"

I couldn't stop giggling, "you just answered to Papa Pein."

Pein looked up from his mug glaring at me, "I will burn your stuffed animals."

I frowned and pursed my lips, "that's not nice."

"Then shut up and finish your food."

Max laughed, "man I love us hanging out."

"You too," Pein glared at her, "eat your fruit."

She stuck her tongue out, "whatever, Papa."

"You too."

Ana paused just as she was going to sit. "I haven't even said anything."

Pein shrugged, "So? Just shut up and eat your food."

Ana scowled at him but did what he asked. I secretly smiled to myself. He cares but won't admit it. I sipped my orange juice when I noticed a note sitting next to my plate. Grabbing it to see what was inside I saw Tobi in the corner of my eye jumping around. I sighed as I read the same words that the note had from last night.

"No, Tobi! I will never be your girlfriend."

He grabbed a handful of his cloak right where his heart was located. "So cruel!"

* * *

 **After Hours…**

Deidara wiped down the table as the Akatsuki had finished dinner. With Sasori doing dishes, the blond turned to look back at his partner.

"You know, Sasori?"

"Hm?"

"We could go back to get rid of that news anchor, hm?" He raised his brow in hopes that his partner would agree. Sasori set the last plate of the dishes to the side.

"Deidara, that only applies if he actually deserves it."

"Why? Aren't we part of Akatsuki? Criminal killers who don't care."

Sasori signed, "first that was repetitive. Two plot."

Deidara grumbled, "damn plot."


	92. Escort

**Max: the weather has gotten so nice recently.**

 **Ana: It's already March almost April… How?**

 **Linda: Because we went by January and February.**

 **Ana: you know what I meant.**

 **AN: So the third trimester started and I'm so excited. I have an open during 4th which means I get about 1 hour and 30 minutes of nothing cuz of all the lunches. So I'm doing a lot of writing.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **(I just wrote three chapters during my spring break. And starting the fourth)**

* * *

 **Max**

The morning I wish never came finally arrived. A day that in which I put so much effort to avoid. I was walking downstairs to grab some breakfast early in the day and found Pein sitting on the couch with a scroll in the middle of the room. His face in its usual stern. Sitting on top of the scroll was a small tire from a bike. Pein did some hand signs, and before I could even blink, it was gone.

"What did you do?" I asked as I made it to the last steps. I stayed behind the railing to protect myself in case the object unexpectedly appeared and flew in my direction.

Pein glanced up before looking back down at the scroll. "I was just doing my third trial on this scroll I made. By the looks of it, it's completely functional."

Carefully, I crossed over to him. "What's its purpose?"

"To go back to the hideout."

My stomach dropped. Just as I tried replying, Kisame jumped down right next to me looking terrified. "Have you two seen Itachi?!"

"No."

"Well if you do," I turned around seeing Sasuke hurry down the steps. "We were NEVER here!" The two sprinted into the kitchen to take cover.

"What did you two do now?" Pein sighed and leaned back in his seat.

Kisame nervously chuckled behind the wall, "we may or may not have tried cutting out some candy. We wanted Itachi to consume less, and took a bag…"

I pinched the bridge of my nose. Why would anyone try taking candy from Itachi? Whatever that doesn't matter right now. "Do you plan–"

"Where are they?"

I cut myself short again and watched as Itachi menacingly walked a slow pace to the kitchen. He glanced around with crimson red eyes. He scowled and marched towards the kitchen. Following with sound effects like in the cartoons whenever someone got hurt.

"Max?" I looked back at Pein. "I don't want you to mention this to the others. I'll be sending Zetsu to see if my jutsu is complete."

I carefully nodded. What if Zetsu makes it to the hideout? How much time do I have with the Akatsuki? What will happen afterwards? I shifted around feeling awkward. The elevator dinged and opened its doors to the rest of the Akatsuki from upstairs. One by one all but one came downstairs.

"Attention to all! Tobi has an announcement!" Tobi waved his arms around.

"No one cares," Hidan yelled as he went to eat lunch.

Tobi glared at him before continuing, "as I was saying. I was walking and talking and got us a job at a party!"

Kisame snorted, "another party? Is it going to end with us running from the police?"

"It better not," Pein scowled at all of us. Especially me. I can't help what happened. It's not my fault that some pervert tried running his hands up my dress.

"We basically have to be guest, maybe give the host's guest some energizers if you catch Tobi's drift?"

"No," Deidara called out just to annoy him. He walked into the dining room where the other members were already sitting. I followed right behind as Tobi came down.

"We've been working at the office for the past two weeks! We need to go outside, smell the roses, play at the park–"

"Sell drugs," Hidan chimed in.

Pein sat his mug down, "he makes a good point. We need to make as much money as possible. Expand to other places."

Konan shrugged, "parties are an ideal place, either that or clubs and concerts."

"What kind of party?" Sasori was looking unamused by the idea of having to socialize with other people.

"It's a get-together party!" Tobi cheered. "A perfect place to negotiate and the rich love drugs!"

"A step closer to bankruptcy!" Kisame smirked at us with all his teeth showing. Looking mischievous as always. I looked down at my cup as something occurred to me. Negotiating would have to mean doing partnerships with other people. That would have to make pein stay longer. Not that he's leaving soon...I hope not. But he hasn't voiced an opinion yet.

"Let's say we take the job. What's the plan?" Kakuzu looked over at his leader. Before Pein could answer, Tobi chimed in.

"We are going! Tobi promised the nice man."

Itachi ever so slightly smirked at the piece of fruit he had on his fork. "Looks like Tobi is in charge of the mission."

Pein raised his brow, "fine then, let Tobi conduct the mission for everyone."

"Ugh," Deidara made a face of disgust. While Pein continued smirking as he hoped for this mission to backfire so he can give his usual nagging lectures.

White Zetsu clapped, "congratulations, Tobi." " **He's gonna fuck us over so badly.** "

* * *

After lunch Tobi had us sit in the living room to wait for further instructions. He cleared his throat and pulled a sheet of paper out.

"Alright, so the point of this mission is to walk around and distribute the goods. Some of us will be in the background making sure everything is well distributed while others will "party" and make us look good."

"Sounds possible," Zetsu said.

Tobi pulled another paper out, "I'll be telling you your pairs."

Kisame frowned, "what pairs? We're switching partners? Itachi, he's separating us!" Itachi didn't reply looking as if he didn't care. Or he was still mad about his partner betraying him by taking his bag of candies.

"Why are we getting different partners?" Konan asked.

"Tobi is glad you asked! Since this is a party, you need a date. Unless you want to go with your partner and be gay," He paused and looked at Itachi and Deidara as they were still legally married. Deidara grumbled glaring at the masked man.

"So some of us are escorting each other," Kakuzu clarified.

"Yes."

I shrugged, that doesn't seem too bad. I'm actually excited to see who's going to get paired up. "So who's first?"

Tobi cleared his throat, "those who are actually going to be down on the dance floor aka the actors. Ana, Linda, Tobi, and Max. And partly Konan."

Leader frowned, "who are the escorts?"

Tobi giggled, "Well, I want to make Tobi's future girlfriend happy, so I had Sasori be Max's escort since Linda ships the two."

Ana rolled her eyes. "Tobi that is a dumb excuse. We already know Deidara likes Max."

"And Max likes Sasuke. So end of discussion."

I raised my eyebrow. Tobi is getting so sassy.

"Leave me out of it," Sasuke sighed.

He continued, "I have Ana and Itachi as partners and Linda is with me."

Linda grumbled and crossed her arms. Kakuzu raised his brow asking why Itachi and Ana were going together. Tobi said it was because of some last minute organizing.

"Why am I partly?" Konan raised her hand.

"Because you're great in the shadows. But Konan is very pretty so you look good socializing."

"Thanks…"

Letting us go to do what we pleased, I went to the store to grab some personal items.

Later today, everyone was standing around in the living room wearing ties and gowns. The ones who were going to socialize that is. I took pictures of everyone whether or not they were dressed up. They weren't the happiest but whatever it'll be for my scrapbook that I just started making. I'm including memories from when the Akatsuki first showed up to now.

"We should start heading out," Pein announced leading us up the stairs.

"How are we getting to the party if we don't have a car?" Linda asked.

"Don't worry, Tobi rented us a limo!"

Kakuzu glared at the masked man, "how much was it?"

Tobi giggled, "don't worry about it!" He quickly ran off to open the door for us.

We all barely made it to the party. With the squeezing, pushing, yelling. I accidentally stepped on Deidara's foot twice. Ana accidentally elbowed Itachi as she tried to get in. But alas, we made it. As we walked out there were a couple boys talking outside while a bouncer stood outside the door holding a clipboard. The mansion itself was tall and wide. A brown shade with lamps on the outside. The two groups split leaving Ana, Itachi, Linda, Tobi, Sasori and I to do our part. As we walked up the bouncer stopped us asking for our name.

"We are the one and only Akatsuki," Tobi giggled. The bouncer looked us weirdly before sighing and checking the list.

"Go on in."

I slipped my arm around Sasori's and walked in getting the aroma of perfume, old wood, and food. The room was very open exposing a large bookshelf to the side. To the back of the house was a small band playing some jazz music. Like the ones in the movies. There were more people than I anticipated. It was fairly crowded. Just above us was a second floor filled with more people. That's where the other group is at right now.

"Where do we go first?" Sasori looked around.

"I'm not sure," I saw a group of people slowly form. It's so hard to start conversations with people you don't know.

"Excuse me," a voice behind me asked. It was barely audible.

Sasori and I turned around to see a man in his mid-forties. He was wide in the hips and had a bald spot directly on his head leaving the rest of his hair on the sides. He smiled at us and patted his slightly moist forehead with a handkerchief.

"I heard that Akatsuki Corporation arrived," He paused as Sasori and I glanced at each other. "I'm the host!"

"Oh, in that case, hello," I extended my arm out to shake hands.

"How are you two liking the party?"

"I hate it," Sasori stated dully.

The host awkwardly glanced over at me as I quickly glared at Sasori. "He hates socializing," I let a forced laugh out, "the party is great!"

The host slowly nodded not sure whether to believe me or not. A small group walked over interrupting our conversation. Leaving Sasori and I to have a small argument over his attitude. The host turned back to us and introduced some of his colleagues. Before Sasori and I could make up an excuse he left us with the four of them.

"Hi I'm Derek and this is my wife Crystal," A tallish man with a beige coat smiled at us. He seemed to be in his early forties.

"I'm Daniel," a younger man nodded to us. "This is my fiancé Gloria."

Sasori frowned and discreetly whispered, "isn't that your ex's name?"

I smiled at the couple while simultaneously elbowing my escort in the side. "I'm Maxine and this is my...boyfriend...Josh." I slowly nodded accepting whatever came out my mouth. "Pleasure to meet you."

Crystal laughed, "the pleasure is ours. We've been told about your wonderful _business_ and I must say that it's a great party starter."

"Especially when we go out for spring vacations! We were sad to hear about the break," Her husband laughed.

After a good five minutes of talking with the couple and them laughing, Sasori and I walked away saying that we needed to go mingle with other clients. But honestly, their off timing laughter and weird implications just started getting uncomfortable. The two of us walked off to the refreshment table to avoid talking to anyone else. There we saw Tobi and Linda standing around.

"Tobi, would you mind getting me something to drink?" Linda forced.

"But the drinks are here?"

"But that table across the house has colder water."

Tobi nodded and quickly ran off. "Hi Sasori, Max!" he yelled running past the two of us.

"What was that about?" I look over at Linda who seemed really tired.

"He was annoying me."

"Welcome to my world," Sasori raised his brows a bit and handed me a drinking getting one for himself.

I was talking with Linda when a boy walked over. He had curly black hair, navy blue blazer, and khaki pants. I raised my brow at this well put kid.

"Hi," he nervously looked at the both of us. "I'm Paul."

"Hi, Paul. How old are you?" I smiled.

"I'm fourteen," he stuttered.

I smirked down at Linda, "isn't that wonderful. If you two excuse me my boyfriend is waiting." I turned and walked away letting Paul and Linda get to know each other. Huh, I didn't think anyone that young would be attending the party. Whatever, I'm glad that Linda will be talking to boys her age. She could use it.

Just as I was going to call out to Sasori a hand reach out from the crowd and snatched me. Dragging me fiercely and quickly. Before I could kick the shit out of the freak they stopped dragging me, landing us in the middle of the house.

"What are you doing?" I glared at Deidara.

He chuckled and turned to face me. "I was upstairs thinking how good you looked and wanted to dance. The jazz band sounds really good."

I raised a brow, "you're not even in the proper attire."

Deidara smirked, "I thought you would have said that." Getting a hold of his cloak, Deidara ripped it off exposing a tux right under it. My mouth parted in shock, just how long has he been wearing that? "Shall we?"

Deidara took my hand and pulled me to him snaking his arm around my waist. We slowly moved to the music. I turned my head to hide the smile that kept breaking onto my face.

"Why are you like this?"

He chuckled, "I'm apart of Akatsuki what did you expect." He looked down at me giving me a focused yet gentle look. I turned away feeling my lip tug upward.

"Oh man look over there," I whispered. Just to the left of Deidara, a woman was wearing the same dress as I was. That's a really embarrassing situation for us women.

He turned and laughed, "don't worry you wear it much better."

He paused and looked down at me getting his famous mischievous grin. Deidara let me go and walked over to the young woman. Tapping on her shoulder she turned around.

"Hi, my girl wears the dress better have a nice day!" he waved before making his way back to me. I mouthed a sorry to the woman and glared at Deidara.

"Why would you say that?!" I whispered feeling extremely embarrassed.

"Because it's the truth."

"And since when am I your girl?"

"Very soon," Deidara smirked. Just as he got closer to dance again, a loud commotion behind me made multiple guests back away.

Quickly making our way over I saw Sasori looking bored as usual. "What happened?" He nodded his head to what all the fuss was.

Standing in shock was Linda. Right next to her was a wet Paul and Tobi holding a bowl of empty punch. The host came in running asking why his son was all wet.

"Tobi caught him flirting with Tobi's girlfriend," Tobi accusingly pointed at the poor boy.

Linda redden in anger, "For the last time, I am NOT your girlfriend!"

"Yet!"

"Never Ever. Not now, Not tomorrow! I will NEVER be YOUR GIRLFRIEND!"

The host fiercely wiped his forehead, "All of you should leave now!"

Yelling over the railing, Hidan began booing at Tobi for ruining the party. "Way to go, Romeo way to ruin the party!"

"The other group must leave as well," The host yelled not wanting to tolerate any of the Akatsuki Corporation workers.

"We only lasted half an hour," Ana shook her head. Just behind her was her sexy escort Itachi.

After I personally apologized to Paul I followed the Akatsuki outside where security watched us leave. We headed down the sidewalk to get to the limo as valet didn't want to give us the car so they tossed us the keys. Whatever, they just lost a good tip. I walked alongside Sasori feeling the calm night relax me.

"Well that was fun," I sarcastically chuckled.

"I want to go back to not having to talk to people," Sasori really doesn't like to socialize. "I hope we don't have to always run around."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You're always running around with the Akatsuki. Isn't there anything else you want to do?" Sasori looked over at me.

I smiled, "fine I'll run around with you." He rolled his eyes and changed his pace to get away from me.

I gently smiled as I watched everyone from behind. Everyone interacting with each other. Hidan was complaining to Kakuzu about not getting any chicks. Itachi cooly walked while listening to Kisame ramble on. Ana was congratulating a cocky Deidara, while Linda bothered Sasori for some details about being my escort. Zetsu was talking with Konan and Pein. They were far up so I can't hear what they're saying. And Tobi was skipping like that child that he is.

"Why are you back here?" Sasuke looked straight ahead.

"I'm just watching everyone and thinking."

"About what?"

"...life."

Sasuke slowly nodded, "that's a good thing to think about."

"Thank you."

But Sasori really got me thinking. What is more to life beyond the Akatsuki?


	93. Cook Off

**AN: Yes I am posting a bunch of chapters at once deal with it.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

* * *

 **Ana**

Saturdays are my favorite days of the week. We have no work, everyone in the house gets up late leaving me alone in the morning for peace and quiet. Sometimes Itachi is up early but he doesn't talk so I immediately forget that he's even there. I was snuggling up on the couch reading the latest news in the paper when the elevator dinged. To my surprise, everyone began walking out looking rested and ready to bother me for the day.

"Hey…" I glanced at everyone. "You guys usually get up later so breakfast hasn't been made."

"Don't sweat it," Kisame walked past me.

"We can make our own," Konan smiled at me as she headed into the kitchen.

Hidan took some grapes out the fridge and turned back to me. "I hate to brag, but I'm actually a pretty good cook." This statement caused me to raise an eyebrow. "I could even say the best in the Akatsuki, maybe after Konan cuz, she's a woman."

Konan slammed the fridge door and turned to glare at the Jashinist. Her eye twitching, "I could stab you in places you didn't know you had."

Goldilocks walked by taking an apple from the fruit basket. "Getting into the conversation, I have to say I'm also a pretty good cook."

I got up from the couch and made my way over to the small group. Just behind me, the elevator dinged again releasing more people down. "Why don't we have a fun competition?"

"What are we talking about?" Pein walked in.

"A cooking competition to see which Akatsuki member is the best at cooking. After breakfast, we can go outside and set up some portable stoves to have a friendly competition."

Everyone seemed to easily agree on that.

"Cooking…" Sasori slowly repeated.

I turned to the puppet, "you can't put poison in the food."

"Count me out."

"Gladly."

Linda smiled as she counted everyone. "So who's in?"

A couple raised their hands. In the end Kakuzu, Sasuke and I were going to be judges. Hidan, Goldilocks, Kisame, Tobi, and Itachi were going to compete. Pein, Konan, Sasori, Linda, and Zetsu would watch from the sidelines.

* * *

After breakfast I had everyone help me out to set tables and the portable stoves. Along with ingredients and kitchen utensils. Linda and I had to go to the store to grab a lot of food for the competition. But thankfully everything was all set up by twelve in the afternoon. The judge's table was set with water and the other two judges were waiting.

"Alright, chefs you have one hour to prepare your meal! Your time starts now!" I called out so Sasori could press the start button on the timer. I sat back and watched as everyone started at different spots.

Kakuzu frowned, "where's Max, I'm surprised she's not down here."

Sasuke nodded, "it's not like her to miss something like this."

I shrugged, "I guess she slept late last night and is still sleeping." She's been pretty distant recently. Maybe she's sick.

"So tell me, Ana." Kakuzu served himself some water. "Why do you like cooking?"

I frowned, "I never told you guys?"

Sasuke shook his head, "Is there a bigger reason other than to feed the Akatsuki?"

I nodded my head and smiled. "Ever since I was in the fourth grade I've always wanted to be a chef. I learned to cook at a really young age so I took priority and turned it into a passion."

Ever since I watched a four-star chef prepare a meal, I grew in love with the idea of such grace and beauty. Also to answer why I was in the kitchen of a four-star restaurant. In the fourth grade, I had a friend who was quite troublesome. One summer day we snuck into a restaurant and got chased out. I hid by the bar, which so happened to be right next to the kitchen. There I got to see the head chef prepare a thick steak. It drew me into a trance that abruptly ended when my friend grabbed me. Ever since that moment happened I always wanted to accomplish what I saw. As for my friend we were weren't friends by fifth grade. He got arrested for stealing his brother's car and taking it to the creak.

Sasuke seemed interested in my career choice. "You want to be a chef, Max wants to be a famous actress," he paused and looked over at the child. "Linda, what do you want to be when you get older?"

"Yeah we never bothered to ask, Little Guppy," Kisame entered the conversation.

Linda looked up from solving a crossword puzzle. She looked around wondering if Sasuke was actually talking to her. "Me? Oh, I want to be a farmer!"

"Why?" Goldilocks asked. He was walking back to his station with some new ingredients.

Linda smiled, "I love animals. I love cows, pigs, ducks, chickens, hens. I want to create the perfect farm where my animals live peacefully. And if they are to be used then it would be in the most painless way possible." She looked down at her shoes looking a bit bashful. "And because Ana's grandmother had a farm and I really looked up to her. And almost thank her for my life."

Pein frowned, "you mean your grandmother Ana's your sister."

"Well yeah but…" Linda paused, "wait we never told you guys." She looked over at me looking surprised, "we never told them?"

"What?" Zetsu called in a bored manner as he played a card game with Konan.

"Ana and I aren't biological sisters."

Everyone stopped what they were doing. The entire competition went on pause as everyone slowly dropped their jaws. Hell, even Itachi and Sasori were looking really shaken up by this. And they usually keep the same monotonous face. I bit my lip to hide the smile that broke out on my face. Everyone's face was priceless. They turned to me in a bit of horror wondering if what Linda said was true.

"What!?" Hidan was the first to speak.

"What?" I raised my brow trying not to show my amusement.

"What do you mean you two aren't related by blood?" Konan looked back and forth at us. She seemed really mind blown by this. "Are you girls at least half sisters?"

I shook my head, "Nope. We are nowhere close to being related. We weren't even born in the same city."

After everyone began talking at once I shut them up. I'd explain after the competition. If I didn't get them back on track then the food would burn. I sat back and watched as Tobi tried talking with Goldilocks while he tried ignoring him.

"So who's adopted?" Itachi asked. He was stirring his vegetables adding a bit more seasoning as they cooked.

"I guess Linda. My grandmother took her and when she passed away my mother took her in."

"Oh, how old were you?" Konan asked.

Linda tapped her chin, "I think I was three. I was pretty young when I was taken out of the orphanage."

"That's sad," Sasori said in the least sympathetic tone. "An adoption center is one thing but an orphanage? That's a whole new level."

Linda's parents aren't dead if that's what you're wondering. They're just extreme assholes. They abandoned her in a car on a hot day when she was only one. Cruel fuckers. Thankfully a homeless man saw and immediately ran to the nearest gas station to call the police right away. And that's when they placed her in the state's orphanage. I don't know what happened to her parents, I don't want to know. But two years later my grandmother was doing some volunteering (as she always did) and saw Linda. Apparently, she was the opposite of most kids, she was happy. After a month my grandmother fell ill and passed away. So my mother (as her only daughter and second child) took Linda in. I don't really see her as a stranger or adopted sister. She's Linda, my younger sister who just happened to be mine.

"Wow," Sasuke made a face.

I smiled, "for someone with a tragic backstory, she's pretty normal and optimistic!"

Kakuzu looked over at Linda as she was rambling something to Pein. He looked over at me. "Sure."

I dropped my smile, "as normal as you can get when you live with psychopaths."

" **What happened to telling us after the competition?** " Black Zetsu called me out.

"Shut up Zetsu no one likes you!" I snapped.

Sasori got the timmer from his cloak and glanced at it. "You guys have ten minutes. Do the whole decorating or whatever."

The back door slid open. I looked over to see Max staring blankly at the whole scene. Without any context, it's pretty confusing. She blinked her way back to reality and started walking towards Pein.

"Hi, Max want to join us?" Linda offered happily waving her arm around.

Max walked right by quickly and almost worryingly headed to Pein. Stopping right in front of him she mouth a couple words to him. He stared at her for a bit before getting up and following Max back to the backdoors and into the house. I frowned. That's weird, I've never seen her so genuinely worried or freaked out.

"Time!" Konan called out. "Gentleman, bring your dishes to the judges where it'll be tasted and voted on."

Each one lined up in whatever order they desired. (Kisame, Hidan, Tobi, Goldilocks, and Itachi). Kisame stepped up, setting his plate and stepping back.

"Go Kisame!" Linda cheered.

"Today I've prepared the three of you fish tempura."

Kakuzu raised his brow, "is that all you cooked?"

"Your expectations are too high old man," Kisame glared at Kakuzu.

I reached over taking a piece off and trying it. Overall it tasted well, it was a bit salty. We thanked him and moved on. It's best if we don't say anything and let them squirm in suspense.

"I made steak," Hidan smirked at us. It was topped with some nice sauce, caramelized onions, and mushrooms.

"Of course you would make that."

"Why are you a judge if you're just going to complain, old man!?"

Kakuzu glared at his partner, "F."

"There's no F! Right?"

Sasuke shrugged, "not that I'm aware of," he sounded out in confusion.

I rolled my eyes and tried Hidan's food. Up next Tobi smiled through his mask and set a tray of cookies down in front of us. Kakuzu and I glanced at each other.

"Tobi this is a cook-off, not a bake-off." I clarified. But he kept staring at us. "Ok, you're disqualified for the cook-off. But you win the bake-off!"

"Yay Tobi wins! Tobi wins!" Tobi jumped around clapping happily. He jumped away from us.

I rolled my eyes, "Alright Goldilocks you're next."

He glared at me and set his plate. "I made a curry."

"Yeah, I'm not eating that."

Goldilocks growled irritably, "And why not, old man?"

"Because you probably put explosives in it."

Sasuke stopped midway of putting the spoon his mouth. I don't blame him, I kind of don't want to anymore. Goldilocks glared at us and reassured that he didn't put any explosives. Plus I think he'd try to kill us in a different manner.

"Wow," my eyes lit up as I tasted the curry sauce with the white rice. This was really good. I nearly finished the plate I didn't think Goldilocks had it in him.

Itachi set his plate down. He didn't really say anything, by looking at the plate he made shrimp with stir-fry vegetables. I looked over at Kakuzu and Sasuke before taking a piece of vegetables. I stared at the plate for a bit feeling my cheeks warm.

"So who won?" Konan waited as the three of stopped whispering to each other.

I cleared my throat and held the index card close to me. "We decided to award the top three."

Sasuke looked at his index card. "Third place goes to Hidan."

Hidan slowly nodded a smirk slowly spreading on his face. "I'm actually ok being third."

"I guess that means I'm second," Kisame said.

Deidara frowned, "what makes you so sure?"

"Just watch."

Kakuzu lifted his card and sighed. "Second place is Deidara."

Deidara smirked up at the blue man. "What was that you were saying?"

"I lost."

"What about first place?"

Kisame shook his head, "Itachi has that spot." I showed them the index card that had Itachi written on it. "See."

"Alright." Itachi.

The rest of the group ate the extra food that was left on the pans that the boys didn't use for plating. We circled around the stoves like a group of birds taking pieces with our hands. After that, we had to pick everything up and put away tables, portable stoves. I walked back into the house so I could make hot chocolate for the addicted Akatsuki members.

Hot chocolate loving psychopaths. I chuckled and took the milk out to boil. They might be good cooks but I'm still in charge of food.

* * *

 **After Hours…**

Kisame tilted his head as he stared at the two girls. "Now that you mention it." He paused and looked at the other members. "They don't look alike."

Deidara leaned in to get a better look. "Yeah...I never noticed how different they are."

Konan pointed towards Linda, "They have brown eyes. But Linda's are more honey brown while Ana's are dark."

"They're hair is kinda different." Hidan tilted his head in confusion. "Ana's is a bit thinner and straighter and shorter of course."

Kisame smiled, "Linda has a cuter face."

Ana frowned, "what the hell do you mean by that?"

"She looks more innocent. You look like you've seen the worst of people."

Ana snorted, "you have no idea…" she mumbled.

"I think Linda looks cuter," Tobi swung side to side with his hands clasped in front of him giggling like an idiot. Linda redden with embarrassment and anger.

"They have kind of similar noses," Sasori frowned and turned his head also trying to not show how shocked the new information was.

The Akatsuki looked like a small pack of puppies looking at a foreign object. Tilted heads and blank ignorant looks.

Ana rolled her eyes, "you guys are truly oblivious."


	94. Fateful Fight

**AN: Well, it's weird but we're finally coming to this part of the story. I'll post the next chapter in two days. Add suspense. Or tomorrow. I'm not sure. When it's done and fully edited.**

 **I DO NOT OWN NARUTO, ONLY MY CHARACTERS, AND STORYLINE.**

 **Also, this chapter is pretty short so my bad.**

* * *

 **Linda**

The morning was cloudy. Sunlight streamed through lighting up the living room. A small cloud lazily floated a top of the mansion blocking parts of the buildings beside it. I turned around from staring out the window and watched as Ana began setting everything down for breakfast. The Akatsuki haven't come down yet it was still pretty earlier. I looked back out the window to continue cloud watching. My chest raised as I took a deep breath. Everything felt calm and mellowed out. I tore my eyes away from the window again once I heard the elevator.

"Morning, Papa Pein!" I smiled as Pein made his way down the steps.

"Morning," he sighed and walked into the kitchen. Soon enough all the members were talking among themselves as we settled down to eat. I smiled feeling the strawberry juice flowing on my taste buds. I looked over as Max entered the dining room later than everyone.

"Thanks," she stated coldly before grabbing her plate and staring at it. She slowly scrunched her nose glaring at the eggs. Max walked over to the trash can and jerky her hand so only the scrambled eggs fell off leaving the toast and ham. She walked up the stairs leaving the rest of us quiet and baffled by her sudden attitude.

"She could have left the eggs on the stove," Ana grumbled.

I shrugged, "she's been acting weird lately. Maybe she's going through a phase?"

Kisame shrugged his shoulders up. "Anyways, so Pein what did you want to tell us?" He watched as Papa Pein slowly looked up from his mug. The one Max got him Christmas when we were still living with our parents.

"I had planned on informing all of you something important. But I need to check up on a few things so expect it around dinner time." Papa Pein announced formally.

I shrugged and went back to eating my breakfast. Tobi raised his hand.

"I have a question? Where is Mr. Zetsu?"

Pein stared at Tobi for a bit before finally answering. "He's on a short mission at the moment. I had him verify a couple things," he looked down. Konan looked to the side as if she knew something. As if she was guilty. I looked down at my plate. I don't want to think about it right now.

"So what's the plan for today?" Deidara stood up and placed his dishes in the sink.

Kakuzu sighed, "nothing. I want to do absolutely nothing."

"For once I agree with my partner."

After we all split up I decided to go and sit down on the couch again. By now the clouds had covered up the bit of sunlight that seemed to barely slip by. My eyes watched the branches sway back and forward as the wind began to pick up. My guess is that it's going to rain soon.

Everything felt calm, uneasily calm. "Hm," I pouted and flopped on the couch feeling anxious. There was an unsettling feeling in the atmosphere. I shrugged and got up to see who wasn't busy. My first stop was upstairs.

"Glad you could join us," Deidara stepped to the side and let me enter his room.

"What are all five of you doing?" I took a seat next to Sasori on the bed as he read the morning newspaper.

"We're playing a video game. Want a turn," Tobi looked over his shoulder at me.

I shook my head, "I'm fine thank you." I turned my attention to the redhead. "What are you doing here you don't seem like the type who's interested in these kinds of things."

Sasori shrugged. "I needed the newspaper that the brat was hogging and stayed because everyone blocked the door."

I gave a tiny, "yeah okay." Deidara began the first round of the fighting game. He was going up against Hidan who was the cyclops. The two fiercely hit the buttons on their controller.

"Any plans today?" Kisame glanced back at me.

I shook my head. "I think today is a lazy day for us." I watched as Deidara desperately tried keeping his character alive.

Hidan began cackling in victory as he handed his controller to Kisame. "Wow, you suck at fighting in real and in a video game!"

"Shut Up!" Deidara attempted to throw the controller at Hidan's head, but Tobi took it before he had a chance.

"Linda, if I win you have to go on a date with me!"

"No," I glared at him.

Kisame chuckled, "whether you agree or not he'd still lose." Kisame turned back to the TV and started the next round letting the two go at it. "So agree and Tobi's loss will be funnier."

Tobi pouted, "that's rude."

I sighed, "Fine."

After five minutes of fighting Kisame and Tobi were jumping around viciously pressing buttons. I hid behind one of the pillows, I don't want to see who would win. I peaked my eyes out every now and then. Deidara cheered in the background making the same punching actions as the characters. Tobi began to lose, and at the last second he dropped down and turned Kisame's controller off and used his signature move.

"Tobi what the fuck!" Kisame snapped. He didn't appreciate the petty win. My jaw dropped.

"Guess who has a date with Tobi?!" Tobi looked at me and began clapping.

"That doesn't count you cheated! I don't date cheaters!"

Sasori gave a small chuckle, "I doubt anyone dates cheaters." He paused, "purposely dates cheaters."

"The bastard who shall not be named?" Sasori nodded to Hidan's question.

Tobi put his hands over his mouth and gasped. He dropped down and bowed deeply. "TOBI IS SORRY TOBI IS A BAD BOY!"

"Damn right you are," Kisame grumbled as he connected the controller again. "Here, Little Guppy." Kisame handed me the controller wanting me to play him.

I decided in the end to play the game. It's better if I distract myself from the eerie feeling in the atmosphere.

* * *

Deidara looked over to see a small light flash. "Dinner time already?" He checked the clock on his desk. "It's seven."

We all headed out of Deidara's room and rode down the elevator. Exiting out we went downstairs to the dining room chatting along. After playing some video games we decided to watch some documentaries ranging from serial killers to why bees buzz. I took my seat between Ana and Kisame to see that dinner was rice with sesame chicken and cooked vegetables. I took a pair of chopsticks and began eating. I looked over to see Max sigh and take her seat. It looked as if she was unhappy about what Pein must have told her by the look she was giving him.

"Are we missing someone?" Ana looked around.

Itachi walked in and took his seat.

"Nevermind everyone is here." As the words left her mouth a cloud of smoke blasted into the dining room. As the smoke subsided it revealed Zetsu.

"..."

"Hello– **sup** ," Zetsu greeted us.

Hidan looked at everyone, "has he been gone this whole time! Where the hell have you been?" He turned to Zetsu.

"We established this in the morning," Deidara said.

"At the hideout," the plant man casually answered.

"Oh," Kisame paused, "wait, like the Akatsuki hideout?"

" **No, the Girl Scout cookie hideout,** " Black Zetsu rolled his eyes. My jaw dropped in surprise.

Kakuzu looked over at Pein. "How?"

Pein set his fork down and stood up. He smoothed his cloak out before looking up at all of us. As Zetsu sat down he began. "Akatsuki. Max, Ana, Linda, and Sasuke. I had originally planned on informing all of you this morning but some things came up and I couldn't." We all nodded following along. "A couple of days ago I finished the jutsu that would take us back to the hideout. Before I could inform anyone I had to make sure it worked. So I sent a lot of random objects before sending Zetsu over."

"And it worked," Itachi concluded. Pein nodded.

Max reach her arms up and yawned. "Well, that's nice all of you can go back to the hideout. Take those two with you." She sighed and acted as if her nails were far more important.

Ana's eyebrows furrowed, "What's with the attitude? I thought you didn't want the Akatsuki to leave?"

Max glanced up, "I don't care what all of you do. In fact, I could use the peace and quiet. So you and Linda can go ahead and leave with them." She picked her fork up and playfully twirled it around ignoring Ana's glaring.

"You got a lot of nerve saying that."

"Whatever," I sank into my seat as Max continued. "It's not like they're real, so it shouldn't matter what we feel."

"You've been acting like a real jerk these past few days."

"Is this the part where I'm supposed to care?"

Ana jumped out of her seat accidentally knocking an empty cup onto the plate. I flinched at the loud clunk. "Why don't you watch your mouth!" She snapped.

Max got up and glared right back at her. "Tsk. Why should I listen to someone like you, affair child."

I looked over at Ana. She looked as if someone stricken her across the face. And if I had a mirror I would have to guess and say that my facial expression looked similar to hers. Ana pushed her chair out the way and charged towards Max. Who looked the least bit faded. Ana stopped in front of her and raised her hand. Immediately I gasped in fear, but thankfully nothing happened. She froze with her hand up and eyes harden. My lip trembled waiting for someone to move or say something.

Finally, Ana thrust her hand back to her side and stomped off to the stairs hidden behind the kitchen. Max stared ahead before looking back at everyone. She scanned the room and walked off to the main staircase. Everyone tore their eyes from the living room and looked towards me. Waiting for an explanation, I sunk further into my seat. I quickly blinked feeling fresh hot tears well up. My lips trembled as a large bulge began growing in my throat. Why were they looking at me? Taking enough of the Akatsuki's staring I jumped from my seat and ran out the kitchen.

I slammed my bedroom door and slipped under the covers holding my stuffed animal. Tears began to stream down my face as I sniffed. For a while, I began to envision future scenarios, past scenarios. Why was Max acting this way? Why did she hate us all of a sudden? I might have fallen asleep because I felt someone shake me under the sheets. My eyes felt heavy from crying and waking up.

"C'mon get up," Ana mumbled.

I sat up and yawned, "What's going on?"

"You're the last one to pack up. Plus, the whole Akatsuki are going out one last time." She turned and opened my closet. I looked down to see that Ana had already gotten started with packing my stuffed animals (minus the one I was holding), the clothes in my drawer and figures on my desk.

I looked around feeling a sense of loss. My eyes trembled as Ana continued going through my closet. "Why am I packing?"

Ana sighed, "don't do this right now…"

"Are we actually leaving?!" I got up feeling my legs nearly give out. But I held onto the chair. "We have everything here! Who said I wanted to leave? You and the Akatsuki made a decision without asking what I thought about! I never get a say in what I do!"

"Because I am your older sister and I take care of you!" she snapped back.

I narrowed my eyes feeling the bulge come back into my throat. I silently helped Ana put the rest of my things in a small suitcase. I lightly sniffed putting some photos in my backpack.

We both grabbed a bag and walked out to the hallway where Kakuzu sealed them up.

"Hey there, Little Guppy!" Kisame fondly greeted me. "How was your hour nap?"

I yawned again. "Good I guess….But where are we going?"

"A karaoke bar," Deidara answered. "I have no idea why Max would suggest it but that's fine."

"I don't want to go," Sasuke scoffed.

"Agree," Ana mumbled tiredly.

With the majority of us complaining, we still went. I've never been to a karaoke bar. It was a weird place to spend our last night together. But you can't really choose when things like this happen. Especially in such a depressing and unexpected way.

Well...I guess this is my last time talking to you all.

Bye.

* * *

 **IMPORTANT! MUST READ!**

 **I never thought I'd say this. Well, that's a lie. It feels surreal to finally say these things. I do have two maybe three important things to say. I'm writing a long author's note so next chapter can be straight to the story.**

 **First off, next chapter (chapter 95) will be the last chapter for Akatsuki Corporation. I know… it's been a long maybe stressful journey. But looking back my writing has changed in a better way hopefully. I also got to write about my favorite group of anime characters. But chapter 95 will have the actual chapter and an epilogue at the end.**

 **Second… I know 95 chapters are a lot. And some of you are thinking, "Well golly how can you wrap these relationships and adventure in one chapter?" Answer: I'm not…. My second important information is that… there is a sequel coming out of this story. AND before you eye roll and start cringing and wanting to smother your face with a pillow, I bring decent news. The sequel will have a much better storyline. Like, it'll** _ **actually**_ **have one. The writing will be better and most important. There will** _ **not**_ **be a shit ton of chapters/unnecessary chapters. In fact, off the top of my head, I believe there'll be 7-12 chapters. Maybe less. But longer, of course, I don't know I've only written two chapters. But I'll be doing some heavy workshopping to the best of my abilities.**

 **Part 2 of news 2: The sequel will be coming out in a month (or two). I want to write out my chapters and it'll probably be posted once a week. Cuz that'll give me time to throw out more stories. Cuz FUCK do I have A SHIT TON of stories I want to write. So if you want to get notified just follow me as an author to get a reminder in a month or so that the sequel is out. I estimate April 22. Somewhere around there. PLEASE TRY TO READ IT, IT'S FAIRLY WORTH IT!**

 **And last news is that I REALLY want to go back and edit the beginning chapters and change parts of the story. Cuz it's pretty fucking bad. Not gonna lie I need to change some of it otherwise people won't read my story. And they won't review. And that makes me sad :( And you have to read this story to read the great sequel.**

 **In conclusion, I need to fix this story, the sequel is coming, please fucking review, and good night!**

 **But seriously, thank you to everyone who's read/made it this far. I'm serious.**

 **Thank You.**


	95. Farewell and Epilogue

**Max**

I watched the clock tick it's way to the next minute. Moving the red hand as each second gave off a tiny sound letting everyone know that time was moving. The night was still, stars lingered in the sky sparkling around the city lights. It's been a while since I've seen the stars out, not a lot of people are out so pollution is a bit low. Factories were turned off on this Thursday night.

After three minutes of watching people walk by and cars drive along; the Akatsuki rode down the elevator.

"Ready?" I asked the group.

They shrugged and followed me down the pathway, through the gates, and down the sidewalk. The soft claps of my shoes were the only thing I focused on. I took a deep breath and turned to the first Akatsuki to me.

"So, Konan, you like to sing?" I smirked.

"Sing? Well, I like to hum when I'm organizing paperwork." She looked straight ahead thinking more about my question. Looking back at me she gave a tiny smile. "Do you like to sing?"

I shrugged, "I'm good. But I don't do it that often."

I like to sing along when I'm doing chores but I'm not that big on it. I only took singing lessons to get a better chance for my acting career. You know, the one that hasn't started yet. But I'm optimistic about it, I'll be famous...one day.

I looked to my left to see Kisame talking down to Linda. They weren't talking very loud so I couldn't hear what they were saying. I opened my mouth to ask… but I closed it. I don't want to get comfortable again.

After a half an hour walk through downtown I stopped everyone in front of a blue neon sign. The letters spelled: Sing along. With the last G losing its bulb. The windows were tinted so it was hard to see inside the place. I opened the door by pushing it revealing the scenery. It was a bit dim with wide light panels on the ceiling. Just ahead was a small stage diagonal to the front entrance. The far right was a wall of booths while the far left was a bar. Just in the middle were tables seated for the maximum of four people. The karaoke bar was small and there were only two couples and two workers standing by the bar.

"How many?" the small woman asked in a heavy Asian accent.

"14."

She gave a small nod and told us to wait so she and a bar worker push four tables together letting the table now seat sixteen. She motioned us in to have a seat and get our drinks started going. We ordered two bottles of sake and two tequila. The lady hesitantly handed us the shot glasses. But after Pein's glaring and small threat she complied to give alcohol to minors.

I looked at the stage to see an older man yelling out the lyrics of I Got a Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas. I couldn't help laugh, that song came out in 2009. I looked down at the table to see the Akatsuki already started breaking into the bottles. Kisame poured and distributed the shot glasses down the table.

"I don't drink," Ana declined sliding it to whoever wanted it. Hidan took it taking it at the same time with his first shot.

"So now what?" Kakuzu looked at everyone.

Deidara shrugged, "do we talk about what's going on? Or do we drink and talk about something else?" He tipped the shot back letting it slide down his throat. Making a face, Deidara slid the glass to Kisame for a refill.

"We can talk about the good times?" I suggested. I lightly sipped the tequila letting it burn down my throat.

"I'll start."

Kisame raised his eyebrow at Sasori. "You? Talking about good times?"

Sasori glared at him, "yes. I remember when we first came… I was sitting on the couch when Diego told us that a certain _someone_ wished us." He passive-aggressively reminded everyone.

"Oh my god," I pinched the bridge of my nose. "For the last time, literally, I did not wish you guys, it was a _sarcastic comment_!"

Sasori rolled his eyes. Tobi shot his hand up wanting to go next.

"I remember when Konan defeated Pein in our video game!"

"Tobi, that was a Naruto video game. Not just an Akatsuki video game," Ana clarified.

"I'll go," Hidan tapped his chin trying to think of something. "I got one. When I chased Linda down Walmart with a bucket of worms."

"That wasn't very nice you know," she pouted.

Konan smiled, "when Max got Pein into a hot chocolate addiction."

Pein scoffed, "Konan please, I do not have a hot chocolate addiction."

Konan turned and stared at Pein for a bit. "Sure, Leader."

A waitress walked up, setting the third bottle of sake. "We have free refills on drinks for anyone who sings. And half off for bottles," she suggested.

"I'll take it," Kakuzu immediately answered. He looked down at the table surveying each and every person. "Who can sing?"

The waitress chuckled, "you don't have to be a good singer to have fun."

Kakuzu glared up at her, "I don't want my ears to bleed so I need a good singer." she stepped back in fear and quickly excused herself away.

Konan looked down towards my direction. "Why don't you go, Max? You said you sing a bit."

I made a face, "yeah but… alright." I downed the rest of my shot and got up heading to the small stage. I walked up two steps and stood half a foot off the ground looking over to see the two couples talking close. One pair in the booths while the other pair were in the back sipping on margaritas. The older man from earlier was passed out on the bar with his shirt and beige jacket pulled up.

"What are you going to sing?" the guy sitting beside the stereo asked.

"Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble." I didn't know what else to sing. It's a good song and easy to sing; but it's not my favorite, close but not quite.

I raised the microphone stand and sat on a tall black stool. I cleared my throat and waited for the into to pass. The piano and drums played cheerfully. " _I'm not surprised, not everything last. I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track. Talk myself in, I'll talk myself out. I get all worked up then I let myself down._ " I internally cringed realizing just how relatable the lyrics were becoming at the moment. It was almost as if a sign was given to me.

I sighed and continued to the chorus. " _And I know someday that it'll all turn out. And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out. And I'll promise you, kid that I'll give so much more than I get, mm. I just haven't met you yet!_ "

After singing the song I received small claps from the other couples and waiters. I stepped down from the stage and back to my seat. They nodded giving me the impression that they liked it. The waitress came over and refilled Ana's lemonade, telling her that it was free.

"I could have paid for it," she told the waitress but indirectly told me. She wasn't talking to me at the moment. Or ever.

I took a shot and looked away. Linda made loud slurping sounds with her straw. She smiled feeling happy with her drink. "May I get some more?"

Kakuzu glared down at her, "if you sing for it."

"What-" She looked at Pein. "I don't want to sing."

Pein snorted, "then you don't get a refill. You wanted apple juice because you don't drink so they went to the restaurant next door." He raised his brow watching Linda go into a small crisis.

"Ana?"

"No. If I give you sip you'll end up drinking the whole thing. And I don't want to sing."

Linda looked at the rest of us with pleading eyes for some sort of help. But we simply looked back at her waiting what she'd decide. Finally, Linda grumbled and got up pouting her way to the stage. I smiled and took my shot glass that Kisame filled up again. I watched as she told the tired man what song she'd sang while looking annoyed at us.

"Go, ex-wifey!" Hidan called out. She and Tobi glared at the Jashinist.

Deidara raised his cup and glanced at everyone. "To Akatsuki Corporation." I gave a bittersweet smile and raised my shot glass with them. "To the end of an empire of drug dealing and crazy adventures." The music began playing, Chandelier by Sia began to play. Linda looked embarrassed as she began to quietly sing the words. "Odd characters and cheating fucks."

Kisame chuckled, "To Ana, Little Guppy," he looked down towards me, "and Maxine."

I looked down at my lap feeling my cheeks flush with warmth. We all raised our glasses higher before we brought them close to our lips to drink. But something interrupted our toast. A beautiful sound, as if an angel arrived, resonated the entire bar. The shot glass in my hand smacked into the table as I lost grip from the shock that washed over me. Linda was on the stage with the mic off the stand.

" _I'm~ gonna swing~ from the chandelier~ from the Chandelier!~ I'm~ gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist…_ "

I felt chills sore through my body as I stared in awe. Each note was perfectly getting reached. The jaws of Akatsuki were dropped. I looked around seeing everyone pause, frozen by such vocals. One of them had a straw stuck in their mouth. The once tired stereo player, now sitting wide eye.

Linda set the mic back on the stand and casually walked back to our table to sit once she finished up. She looked up seeing everyone's faces and frowned wondering why we were staring at her.

"What?"

"How...when?" Konan sputtered her words out not sure what to say.

"When did you learn to sing like that?" Itachi asked for us as he seemed calmer.

Linda shrugged, "I did some singing when I was younger. And I participated in my elementary choir."

"Why that song?" Zetsu questioned.

She shrugged, "I like it. I had practiced in the shower before and wanted to see how it'd sound on stage. I think I did alright."

I jumped up from my seat causing Sasuke to hold onto the table to keep it from moving too much and spilling drinks. "Are you fucking kidding me!? You sound fucking great! Jesus Christ imagine what you'll sound like when your voice matures!" Linda slowly blushed.

"Thanks."

Hidan leaned towards Kakuzu and whispered, "I think the alcohol is affecting her now." I ignored him and sat back down.

"Are you sure you don't want to be a singer?" Tobi questioned.

Linda shook her head, "Nope! I want to be a farmer!" He put his hands up in defeat.

"Did you know about this?" Kisame asked Ana. She shook her head equally surprised as they were.

The waitress came back and set two bottles down. "That has been the best performance in the past year. These are on the house."

"To Linda," Kisame toasted again.

"To free drinks," Hidan raised his glass.

"To free anything," Kakuzu pointed out.

* * *

We all staggered and joked as we walked down the streets of downtown– now Friday. Building lights lit up our path back to the mansion. The stars were faded and far apart. It didn't feel as long of a journey as it did to get to the bar compared to going back to the house. I pressed the elevator button open and we all stepped in slowly calming down from our constant vulgar language. When the doors opened up again we stepped out and headed downstairs. Our laughter trailing off as realization settled back down on us. I continued walking, much slower, to the kitchen. The dinner plates were still out, three with food sitting on them. I gulped feeling just how dry my mouth was and how tight my throat was getting.

"Alright, Akatsuki is there anything else?" Pein looked around the room. He set up the jutsu by rolling out two scrolls on the floor resembling an X. He had grabbed some ink and made a large circle under them. That's gonna leave a stain.

Konan informed him that everything was ready to go. Juuzou came down to say goodbye as well. He pressed the lower part of his body against each member letting out different purrs. Linda bent down to hug him.

"I'm going to miss you, Juuzou."

"Meow."

I turned away feeling my throat tighten even more. Juuzou just asked where she was going. I walked over and picked him up rubbing his soft fur against my face. I set him down letting him play with some yarn that he'd been carrying around in his mouth.

"You sure you're not coming?" Deidara walked over and stood in front of me. He tried his best to give a subtle attempt at changing my mind.

"I have no interest." Was all I could say. He nodded and looked out the window. Deidara looked at the other members as they watched us. "Alright, but I think we deserve a hug."

" **If you touch me I'll chomp your arm off,** " Black Zetsu declared.

I made a face and looked back at Deidara. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. He returned the gesture and held me tightly, letting his chin rest on my head. We let go so I could go around to other members. Or the ones who accepted my hug. Coming to the last ones I looked at Pein and smiled.

"Thanks for… a lot of things." Pein had already taken the money out of Akatsuki Corporation and changed it into yen. He left me 10,000 dollars. Pein sighed and allowed me to hug him. I moved on to the last member.

"Take care," Itachi gave me a tiny smile.

"I'll miss your beautiful face and badass attitude!" I threw myself onto Itachi. He gave a soft chuckle and smoothed down my wavy hair.

I turned around and faced Linda. She had her eyes on the ground trying to hide the tears welling up. I carefully placed my hand on her shoulder. "Hey, keep close to Pein, Konan, or Kisame so you don't get yourself killed. Also never let yourself get sad." I looked past her to see Ana standing with her back to me. I doubt she's going to talk to me.

"Max…" Linda sniffed trying to gather her words. Fearing that I'd start crying I simply shushed her and held the kid in my arms.

Sasuke and I stood face to face not sure how to say goodbye. "Heh, I guess it's time to unwish you," I laughed.

"Oh but we're a sarcastic comment," Sasori called me out. I turned and threw my arms around him. He sighed and returned the gesture.

"I'll miss you ex-husband."

"Don't ever mention that again." But Sasori gave me a small smirk.

"Alright we're going now," Pein announced. I gave Sasuke a hug and stepped back letting the Akatsuki and extra three stand in a closed tight circle.

I picked Juuzou up and turned my back to the group. My feet dragged themselves to the doorway that separated the kitchen and living room. My lips and body trembled as hot tears glossed over my eyes making everything blurry. I squeezed Juuzou closer feeling my breathing grow shakier. He rubbed his head against my shoulder trying to calm my racing heart. I took a deep breath and turned around.

I stood alone with my cat in the living room of a house. Not even the ink circle stayed.

* * *

 **Epilogue**

"… _skies are clouded up with 80 percent chance of rain in the later afternoon. This week will be in low 50s high 70s. This is your meteorologist, Dave Fowler with the Iowan weather."_

A breeze pushed by causing a small whistle in the air. The grass bent in one direction being pressed down by the wind. Large clouds passing in tight groups not letting the sunlight go through to shine brightly.

Max sat with the driver door open of a 2010 Nissan; radio playing on the classic rock station. She reached out snatching the key to shut the car off. Max got out waiting for a bit until Juuzou jumped down before closing the door. He stepped around taking a sniff of his new surroundings. He looked up realizing that Max was walking in the middle of nowhere. So he hurried to her side.

Max had just finished selling the cabin house, just after the mansion. She had no purpose of keeping them so might as well make money by selling or renting the houses. It's a far better idea than burning them to the ground, which was her original idea as a way to not taint the memories. Max walked along the plain fields taking in the fresh air and cold temperature. She was a lone wolf getting ready to start a new chapter in life. Maybe she'd move to a colder state. Perhaps a dry yet comfortable place. For a moment she'd thought about moving to Canada, that seemed like a great place to start fresh.

Max was looking down at Juuzou as he leaped around looking at the different wildflowers. When a click echoed around her. She froze feeling her heart begin to pump faster. That familiar sound was the click of a gun. She slowly and cautiously half turned to see if what she was hearing was actually there or all in her head. Max's eyes widen in horror at the figure standing before her pointing their firearm at her.

"Maxine Chavez. You are under arrest for possession of illegal drugs and production and distribution of said drugs." Standing in a protective stance, detective Jade Brooklyn maintained a hardened expression.

Max felt her entire body freeze as Jade began reading her rights while carefully inching over to her. Her pupils trembled in disturbance. Her face was pale as all the blood seem to have left her body making her feel like a ghost.

Jade gave a small laugh out, "You should see your face right now. It's priceless, I've been waiting to see your expression when I called your real name and not a fake name you gave the station. They way your body tenses at the sound of my voice and click of my gun." Jade scowled, "you have no idea what you've done."

Max felt paralyzed with confusion and horror. She looked down at Juuzou feeling a bit of defeat in the pit of her stomach. Was this how it was going to come together? Was this her fate?

Max glanced up feeling her blood begin to boil as anger began to override her thoughts and other emotions. ' _This is the thanks I get…'_ She began to think, as her new found hate and envy for the Akatsuki grew.


End file.
